Dave Briggs: Sleep in Sunday

“[Because] @ClaytonMorris & [I] are off.” Yes, Fox & Friends Weekend fans, co-anchor Dave Briggs did alert his Twitter followers to “sleep in Sunday” because “@ClaytonMorris & [he] are off.”  Apparently, Dave was miffed anew that he and Clayton would be replaced yet again for another special edition Fox & Friends Weekend tomorrow (probably by the F&F “A Team” boys, Brian Kilmeade and Steve Doocy). After about two hours, Clayton more circumspectly confirmed that the two were off indeed off tomorrow because of the “special debt coverage.”

Bravo, Dave! Even though FNC Senior VP of Programming Bill Shine may not fully appreciate your frankness, your fans assuredly do and may well welcome the chance to “sleep in Sunday.” Even though the author still intends to watch the probable “A Team” play tomorrow, he thinks that it is long past time for Shine to put you and Clayton together in a big game to see what you have got.

Kyra Crashes Kiran’s Namaskaar

Kyra: “Alright, I’m gonna break it up here!” And, so she did. Yesterday American Morning co-anchor Kiran Chetry bid her audience a teary goodbye at the end of the show. Before segueing to CNN Newsroom anchor Kyra Phillips, Kiran announced, “I’m not gonna cry. But, I just want to tell you guys–as some of you know, today is gonna be my last day here at CNN. It’s gonna be my last day at America Morning.”

With her co-hosts Christine Romans and Ali Velshi seated beside her on the new divan, Kiran declared, “Before I leave, I just wanted to thank everyone, all of you out there for letting me into your living rooms each morning for the past nearly five years. I’ve enjoyed it.” Pointing to Aly and Christine, she continued, “I feel very lucky to have been able to work with wonderful, kind, dedicated people here at CNN.”

As she spoke, the camera briefly showed attentive AM staffers standing nearby: Reaching out to them literally, Kiran remarked, “Look at my buddies. Oh, can we take that shot again, please?” As the cameraman consequently panned back to include not only the staffers but also the floor crew, Kiran commented, “These people come in before midnight day after day after day. We work hard to get it right: But, through it all we have always found a way to laugh and enjoy our work.”

Then, addressing her AM audience again, Kiran tearfully concluded, “So, I’m terrible at goodbyes. I’m not going to say, ‘goodbye.’ I’m gonna say, ‘See you soon.'” Turning toward Christine and Ali, she said, “And, to both of you, it’s been a pleasure.” Then after kissing Christine and Ali au revoir, Kiran waved to the audience, saying, “Thanks, guys!”

Then, just as Kiran softly began to conclude her final namaskaar to her AM fans and then to toss to CNN Newsroom anchor Kyra Phillips, Kyra gauchely interrupted. Brassily, she declared, “Alright, I, I’m gonna break it up.” Gracefully, Kiran softly and simultaneously continued, “And, I promise to keep in touch. CNN Newsroom with Kyra Phillips starts now.”

True to her ill-timed promise, Kyra declared, “We’re gonna go back to that shot, Kiran, of Petey [AM floor director].”  As Kiran laughed uncomfortably at Kyra’s strange interruption, Kyra unabashedly continued, “Let’s go to Petey. Let’s get another shot of Petey there. ” Graciously, Kiran concurred, “Let’s go one more time.” Oddly fixated on this “Petey,” Kyra continued, “Yeah, because Petey will make us laugh. Petey is the one.”

As the cynosure of the camera changed from Kiran to Petey, Kyra continued, “There he is. Give us a shout-out. There we go.” Apparently, trying rightfully to regain the spotlight, Kiran commented, “Guess what, Kyra. Kyra, Petey said to me [that] he is going to learn to email just so that he can keep in touch with me. You know what an honor that is.”

Apparently, realizing her patent faux pas, Kyra penitently responded, “Oh, yes. Kiran, you know…that’s why I went there because Petey has added so much joy to…the morning for you guys. And, he’s made you laugh and been a big part of making those mornings special for you. So, there we go: we won’t to leave on a [sic] upbeat note. Then she added, “Best of luck to you, Kiran.”

Smiling sweetly, Kiran tersely responded, “Thank you.”

[Author’s aside: To paraphrase Simon and Garfunkel, “What’s that you say, Mrs. Robinson, (er, ‘Mrs.’ Roberts)?” Comely Kiran has left and gone away. Hey, hey, hey, she barely got her say.]

Update: CNN vid entitled “It’s not goodbye, it’s see you later: Kiran’s last day at AM.” N.B. CNN producers wisely cut Kyra’s “crash” of Kiran’s farewell.

Update2: YouTube uncut video of Kiran’s goodbye.

Kiran: “Together Forever with You”

Chetry: “2morrow is my last day @cnnAM!” American Morning may be losing its “Ray of Light,” anchor Kiran Chetry, but her fans won’t lose their flame. Or, so that seemed to be the message that Kiran sent her AM viewers and Twitter followers today.

As Kiran concluded her penultimate AM show today, she serenaded her audience to the chorus of Rick Astley’s “Together Forever.” Along with her co-host Ali Velshi, she sang, “Together forever and never to part, together forever we two, and don’t you know I would move Heaven and earth to be together with you.” Even though she may have pretended that her duet with co-host Ali Velshi was a cacophonous “Rickroll” for CNN Newsroom co-host Kyra Phillips, the words seemed more likely a double entendre for her devotees.

Furthermore, this evening, Kiran seemingly reassured her faithful Twitter followers that she was not leaving them for good.  She Tweeted, “Thanks for all of the good wishes & q’s about my future. 2morrow is my last day @cnnAM! will Tweet out my next move as soon as i can!XOXO.

Kiran, a “Rickroll” never sounded so good!

Poppy: “If Kiran Wants to Sell Her Wedding Ring”

Kiran: No, I don’t! I’m teasing, Honey! American Morning Kiran Chetry gave her hubby a sportive scare Wednesday. After appearing to have forgotten her wedding ring again Tuesday,* Kiran had her connubial bond conspicuously back on her ring finger yesterday. However, it was not on permanent display.

During an AM report entitled “What’s Your Gold Worth?” by CNNMoney.com host Poppy Harlow,” Kiran playfully reminded her hubby not to take her for granted. After Poppy had aired a clip of people getting their gold assayed (for Kiran and her co-hosts Christine Romans and Ali Velshi), she remarked, “If you are thinking about selling your gold now, we are an all-time high.” In response, an puckish Kiran took off her wedding ring and presented it to Poppy, saying, “Here you go!”

Clapping her hands in laughter, Poppy proclaimed, “That’s your wedding ring!” As Christine guffawed, “Kiran!,” a grinning Kiran exclaimed, “I’m kidding!”

Facetiously, Poppy proffered, “If Kiran wants to sell her wedding ring.” Before she could continue, Kiran interjected, “No, I don’t! I’m teasing, Honey.” Somewhat reassuringly, Poppy concurred, “But, she doesn’t Chris.”

Kiran: Keeping hubby honest!

*Kiran sans wedding ring [American Morning – 07/27/10 (@ 6:01)] and less than five minutes later with one (single band with larger rock) that appeared different than her own (two banded one – joined wedding and engagement rings) less than five minutes later. Comparative closeup (brief) – 6:47 a.m. ET.

Christine: Damsel in Distress?

Ali to the rescue! Like a fairy-tale knight coming to the aid of his damsel in despair, American Morning co-anchor Ali Velshi rushed to the succor of his co-host Christine Romans during her interview of Florida Governor Rick Scott today. Perhaps, AM‘s “H-Pod” did not think that his CNN partner was up to the task of jousting with her dragon who advocated against raising the debt ceiling. Or, worse yet, did he chauvinistically think that his co-host might get “hysterical” as she did?

After days of decrying the debt ceiling debate stalemate, Christine interviewed Scott who advocated against raising the federal cap. In a quite contentious colloquy, an incredulous Christine vainly tried to “enlighten” the GOP governor that that the Congress had already spent the money and that raising the ceiling meant that the United States could pay all of its bills, retain world confidence, and constrain interest rates. However, the Scott remained unswayed and continuously countered that the United States had to quit borrowing and prioritize spending as families, business, and States (like his Florida) do.

After three consecutive combative questions, an exasperated Christine exclaimed, “Wait! Wait!…With all due respect, there’s spending more money and there’s paying for what’s already spent.” Meanwhile, Ali could be seen gesticulating and heard murmuring in the background. Abruptly, Ali gratuitously interjected, “If you don’t mind, I just, I, I just have to. Governor, I, I’m not understanding. Christine’s probably asked you this four times already.”

Then, as the camera switched to Aly, he arched his eyes professorially and contemptuously lectured, “We’re not talking about spending more money! We’re talking about paying the bills you already committed to.” Then, he snarked, “Why is this difficult for you to understand, Governor!”

Without responding to Ali’s sudden sneering swipe, Scott iterated his earlier comments to Christine, stating that his State of Florida had quit spending more money and that it had prioritized its spending and that the United States should do the same. As he concluded his answer, Christine wisely reasserted control of her interview and completed the questioning without further interruption from Ali.

Christine is a big girl: She doesn’t need her male colleague Ali “gallantly” riding to her rescue. And, if she wants to do her gender justice, she won’t let him.

Maria Molina Goes Bust

Wrap her up? Clad in her cleavage-clinging gorgeous green dress, Fox & Friends Weekend guest meteorologist Maria Molina caught the appreciative eye of many a new admirer Sunday. Perhaps, emboldened by guest co-host Juliet Huddy who proudly exhibited her own ample charms, the timid temptress, who showed scant skin as usual, seemed to seize a new confidence as she bravely displayed her fine form in a waist-hugging and bosom-embracing daring dress. And, her F&FW viewers appeared to take special note of the new Maria–if Carpe Diem readers are any indicium.

As Maria flaunted her fab figure for her F&FW fans, Carpe Diem searches for “Maria Molina” skyrocketed and views of “Maria Molina: Bye!” hit a record high. Although most readers modestly searched for Maria simply by name, more randy ones exhibited a special interest in her cleavage. Even when F&FW had ended and Maria changed into a more demure fuschia dress in her later appearances on America’s News Headquarters, her new admirers continued their quest to know the Nicaraguan beauty better.

Apparently, for her F&FW fans, when Maria goes bust, she really goes boom.

Juliet: F&F’s Fox–Still A Friend?

“I couldn’t take it anymore….I got so pressured.” After no-showing on Fox & Friends Weekend as a co-host and disappearing from Fox News altogether more than two months ago, anchor Juliet Huddy finally returned to the FNC morning program Saturday. Having adorned herself in a royal blue sleeveless short dress with a deeply plunging v-neck, the FNC vixen boldly retook her center seat atop the curvy couch between co-anchors Clayton Morris and Dave Briggs with nary an explanation.

Perhaps, it was the power of her bare beauty that quieted the questions of Clayton and Dave Saturday.  Certainly, the allure seemed manifest during a guest segment with the usually conservative former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee who had just returned from a trip to Israel. When the now host of his eponymous FNC show Huckabee handed out souvenir yarmulkes to Dave and Clayton, he gave a short sexy belly dancer skirt to Juliet: When he did, a randy Dave immediately demanded a subsequently blushing Juliet to “throw it on” as an a appreciative Clayton smiled sheepishly.*

However, today (Sunday) Juliet seemed to provide possibly a hint to her F&FW viewers as to why she had gone on an unscheduled Sabbatical. During a “Social Media Stress” segment, Juliet stated, “I got off Facebook, and I got off Twitter.”** When a seemingly incredulous Clayton asked, “Really?,” she elaborated, “I couldn’t take it anymore. Yeah, it made me crazy. I got so pressured. Yeah, I just, I can’t stand it!”

N.B. Juliet quit Tweeting on May 16, 2011, the very day that Carpe Diem reported that she had been an F&FW no-show and she subsequently seemingly defended herself, saying that she had thrown her back out during spring cleaning. Perhaps, the pressure of her Twitter followers (and her F&FW fans) did indeed get to Juliet and she not only needed to get off Twitter (and Facebook) but also to get off of the FNC airwaves as well.

Hopefully, Juliet’s concerns plumb no deeper. If so, now that she is back as an F&FW “Fox,” perhaps, she will soon similarly return to Twitter and Facebook as an F&FW “Friend” as well.

Regardless, hopefully, Juliet is doing well again and is back for FNC’s foreseeable future.

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 07/23/11 (@ 8:48 a.m. ET)

**Fox & Friends Weekend – 7/24/11 (@ 6:35 a.m. ET)

Aly: “My Work Husbands, Dave and Clayton”

Dave: “I don’t know if we’re still married.” Friday Fox & Friends guest co-host Alisyn Camerota introduced her seemingly estranged Fox & Friends Weekend co-anchors for their weekly promo. As the show approached its final twenty minutes, Aly said, “[L]et’s check in with my work husbands, Dave and Clayton, for what’s coming up tomorrow on Fox & Friends.”*

Laughing to himself, Dave turned toward Clayton with a mischievous glint in his eye. Then, he declared, “I don’t know if we’re still married.” Before Clayton could reply, Aly interjected, “It is strange.” Shaking his head, Clayton answered, “Yeah, I don’t know what’s going on Alisyn. You put us outside in the heat.” Then with a smile and an awkward wink, he added, “Something’s up and fishy.”

Indeed. As F&FW viewers continue to mull over the uncertain future of this “strange” marriage of Aly, Dave, and Clayton, they may have something new to add to consider. According to a J$P source, Juliet Huddy returns this Saturday and Sunday to guest host Fox & Friends after no-showing over two months ago on F&FW and her unexplained disappearance from Fox News since then.

The plot thickens.

Fox & Friends – 07/22/11 (@ 8:39 a.m. ET)

H/t to J$P.

Aly’s “Upskirt” Tease

Doocy: “Oh, finally, an item for TVNewser!” A naughty Fox & Friends guest co-host Alisyn Camerota spiced up the early morning for her co-hosts and fans yesterday. After reading a story on “upskirt bandits” who were stealing liquor from a Broward County, Florida, store by putting the bottles up their skirts, Aly wryly remarked, “Something tells me the police will find them soon. It’s hard to run with a bottle of champagne in your skirt.”* Then, she saucily added, “As I can tell you.”

Laughing, co-anchor Steve Doocy queried, “Are you speaking from experience?” Racily, Aly replied, “Yeah, of course!”

In response, a salty Doocy commented, “Alright, good to know. Thanks, Aly.” Ever game, Aly answered, “Yeah!”

Then, in a final playful retort, Doocy declared, “Oh, finally, an item for TVNewser!”

Not quite, Doocy. Nor did Mediaite catch you and Aly’s bawdy banter. However, Mediaite did run a critical column of your America’s Newsroom counterparts’ coverage of the story. (For its article and vid, link here.)

*Fox & Friends – 07/22/11 (@ 7:36 a.m. ET)

CNN Countdown: @kiranchetrytv!

Get ready for blastoff, Kiran fans: her AM “end” is near! With exactly ten more days to go at CNN, American Morning co-host Kiran Chetry began the official countdown this morning from her Twitter megaphone. After posting a few Tweets today via her @kiranchetrycnn account, she suddenly morphed her handle into @kiranchetrytv without warning.

On her new Twitter page, Kiran still asked followers to “watch Kiran on CNN’s American Morning” but she had replaced her Web link to the American Morning blog with her own WeFollow page. Conversely, CNN’s American Morning blog site no longer listed Kiran’s Twitter address nor featured her as the AM anchor. (However, Kiran’s old Twitter address could still be seen in the “On Twitter” column which still included some of her Tweets.)

Nevertheless, dear reader, Kiran remains on CNN’s “Anchors & Reporters” roster: And, rightly so. In fact, Kiran’s AM (and CNN) tenure continues until July 29. Ergo, Kiran votaries, you have only one more week and two days to begin your day and brighten your morning with Nepal’s “Ray of Light.”

Jenna Lee Returns

“Back for good–for now.” Happening Now co-host Jenna Lee was radiant today as she returned to her FNC show from her honeymoon with new hubby Leif Babin, a Navy SEAL and Fordham law student. Welcoming the auburn beauty back heartily, co-anchor Jon Scott facetiously queried, “Anything big happen while you were gone?”* Shrugging her shoulders demurely, Jenna joyfully replied, “Thank you very much. You know, got married, went on a honeymoon but now I’m, I’m back: Back for good–for now.”

Sorry, boys, one of Maxim‘s “TV’s 10 Hottest News Anchors” and Ben Stein’s favorite money honey, “the heart-stoppingly beautiful” Jenna Lee, is now off the market. To boot, after an almost three-year, cross-country courtship, it sounds as if the thirty-one year old lovely may be down to serious connubial business. I.e., Jenna’s maternity leave not too far around the HN corner?

Congratulations, Jenna & Leif!

*Happening Now – 07/18/11 – (@ 11:00 a.m. ET)

Clayton: “The [Aly] Update”

“Where’s Alisyn?…It might be 2014.” This morning Fox & Friends Weekend co-anchor Clayton Morris and his co-hosts Dave Briggs and Molly Line joked anew about Alisyn Camerota’s personally promised return. After welcoming viewers mid show, a grinning Clayton remarked, “Emails, we saw people out here for the concert series [asking], ‘Where’s Aly? Where’s Alisyn?’ We said, ‘Uh, it might be 2014.'”*

As Molly laughed heartily, Dave chuckled, “Maybe, by the time the presidential elections come around.” Perhaps, not quite ready to relinquish her reins anytime soon, Molly exclaimed, “She’s still here [FNC], though. She’s here all the time! She’s everywhere. She’s all over.”

Then, trying to reassure Aly’s fervant F&FW fans, Clayton insisted, “She’ll be back soon. The maternity, the maternity shuffle is still continuing. So, that’s the update.”

At least, “that’s the plan for now.” As an absent Aly stays adrift on FNC weekdays for three months running with appearances on America’s Newsroom, Happening Now, America Live, and even the weekday Fox & Friends, “the maternity shuffle” claim seems less and less credible. Nevertheless, Clayton may be right.

Who knows? Maybe, Aly will return for her third stint at Fox & Friends Weekend in 2014–if the F&FW ship again starts to list with “the new girl.”

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 07/16/11 (@ 8:01 a.m. ET)

“Update” update: Apparently, Aly is still not so sure about her return either. When a Twitter follower of hers asked, “Miss you on weekend with Dave and Clayton….[a]re you ever coming back [to F&FW]?,” Aly evasively answered, “I miss the guys too!”

Kiran Out & Soledad In: Ouch!

A not so subtle message? Wow! In a strange and somewhat sadistic twist of fate, Soledad O’Brien returned this morning to American Morning to sub for Kiran Chetry as co-host. N.B. Today marks the very first day after AM announced Kiran Chetry’s departure from the show on July 29. Ouch!

As readers may remember, Soledad herself was co-anchor of AM (for almost four years) before being unceremoniously dumped for Kiran on April 16, 2007 to jumpstart AM‘s anemic ratings. When then CNN/US Prez Jon Klein announced the shakeup (Soledad/Miles O’Brien replaced by Kiran/John Roberts), he noted that AM‘s ratings had faltered in the ratings while the rest of CNN’s programming had increased by double digits: he added, “We think we can do even better and we think the show deserves to.”

Unfortunately for CNN, Klein’s replacement team never really did too much better in the needed numbers. And, Soledad probably thought that it certainly did not deserve to do so after her ousting. And, now that her replacement Kiran is on her own way out at “the ratings-challenged morning show,” Soledad must have found a measure of sweet revenge to return to her former AM throne on the first day after AM proclaimed the end of Kiran’s reign.

Even if Soledad sweetly did not fill her own sense of shadenfreude, someone at AM apparently did. Soledad’s ill-timed fill-in seemed like a gratuitous slap at Kiran from that somebody. Perchance, a parting shot by that anonymous AM staffer who told Page 6 that “Kiran is dumb as a rock” (in its Halloween night 2010 story on possible big changes at AM by new CNN chief Ken Jautz)?

Kicking Kiran on her way out? Not necessarily the best idea: Some of the show’s most loyal viewers are her fans. But, with AM possibly on its own way out (as Inside Cable News suggested), perhaps, that AM somebody simply did not care anymore.

AM’s Aphrodite Leaves CNN

Kiran taking her Cestus back to Fox News? According to “Page 6” of the New York Post, American Morning co-host Kiran Chetry was seen cleaning out her desk today and has told her co-workers that she will leave CNN at the end of the month. The NYP added that Kiran’s current co-hosts Christine Romans and Ali Velshi will continue on at AM on an interim basis.

Furthermore, Mediaite confirmed the NYP account and added that it had obtained Kiran’s memo to her “American Morning Family.” In that note, Kiran revealed that July 29th will be her final day behind the AM desk and at CNN itself. Then, after thanking her bosses for the opportunity and her colleagues for the memories, Kiran enigmatically concluded, “This isn’t goodbye… this is see you soon.”

Kiran back to where she once belonged? Perhaps, Fox News Senior VP of Programming Bill Shine is really shaking up the FNC daytime. Her Fox & Friends fans can only hope so.

Update: Kiran subtly alerted her Twitter followers early Thursday morning to her imminent departure from AM by reTweeting a Piers Morgan missive. She RT’d, “Thx! I’ll b watching u!RT @piersmorgan: Very sad to see @kiranchetrycnn go – great lady, terrific presenter. My mornings won’t be the same.”

Gretchen: In Full Disclosure

But, she still doesn’t get it. Monday Fox & Friends co-anchor Gretchen Carlson interviewed Christian Lopez, the Yankee fan who gave Derek Jeter his 3000th hit home run ball back. Before she began, she declared, “Christian, in the [sic] full disclosure, I do have to tell you that my husband [Casey Close] happens to be Derek Jeter’s agent.”* Then, she inaptly added, “I just want to get that on the record ’cause sometimes people have a problem with that.”*

Apparently, Gretchen was referring in part to the author who first reported that she interviewed Jeter in a powder-puff F&F interview (December 2, 2009) without mentioning that her husband, Casey Close, was his agent. Obviously, she was including others, e.g., Huffington Post, Mediaite, and TVNewser who cited the Carpe Diem story as they, too, noted Carlson’s failure to disclose her conspicuous connection to Jeter. Not to mention, Howard Kurtz, host of CNN’s Reliable Sources, who acerbically remarked, “Somehow…Gretchen Carlson didn’t get around to mentioning that Jeter’s agent, the man who negotiated the shortstop’s $189 million contract is her husband. Now, I think it’s fine for her to interview Jeter…but how about leveling with the viewers?”

No, Gretchen, people do not “have a problem with” your being married to the agent of Derek Jeter. But, they do have a problem with your not disclosing that very fact when you do a story on Jeter. It just might color your perspective a bit. And, your viewers deserve to know.

In fact, if you had learned the real Jeter lesson, you might have added a caveat in your interview later with Tim Pawlenty, the former Minnesota governor and GOP presidential aspirant.** To wit, when you appeared to defend repeatedly Pawlenty’s opponent, Michele Bachmann, from his verbal attacks, you might have merely mentioned to viewers then Bachmann was once your nanny when you grew up in your hometown of Anoka, Minnesota.

Close is cool: Just “full disclosure,” Gretchen.

*Fox & Friends – 07/11/11 (@ 7:38 a.m. ET)

**Ibid at 8:13 a.m. ET.

Kiran’s Weird “Wedding Ring”?

For Kiran acolytes only. Did American Morning co-host Kiran Chetry forget her wedding ring last Thursday? It certainly appeared so as her linked engagement-wedding bands seemed to transmogrify for the day into a single large ring with encrusted gems surrounded by a black band.* Not to mention, Kiran seemed to finger it throughout the show as if she had put in on for the very first time.**

Perhaps, Kiran was having her real wedding ring cleaned at the jewelry store and did not want to risk a naked ring finger on AM again. Or, maybe, she simply forgot it that early morning. Or, not.

*American Morning – 07/07/11  (Ring closeup – @ 6:38 a.m. ET)

**Ibid at 6:17 a.m. ET; 8:06 a.m. ET; 8:22-23 a.m. ET.

“King” Jerrick: “I Guess I Should Say”

“I’m Mike in for, uh, what’s the guy’s name? Uh, Clayton.” After a critical Carpe Diem report yesterday, the “King of Philadelphia” Mike Jerrick seemed eager to assure Fox & Friends Weekend fans that he intended no snub yesterday to his F&FW successor and fellow Philly Clayton Morris. As CD noted, the F&FW alum and great failed to acknowledge Clayton for the second time consecutively on the show (as his replacement host). To make matters worse for Clayton,  his regular F&FW co-host Dave Briggs did not mention him either.

Today, F&FW producers seemed eager to assure Clayton and his fans that they meant no slight. At mid show today, Mike appeared to make light of his conspicuous omission: as the third hour began, he joked, “Hi, everybody! By the way, I guess I should say [that] I’m Mike in for, uh, what’s the guy’s name? Uh, Clayton.” As Mike then chuckled, Dave tried unsuccessfully to suppress a smile. Looking over at Mike, he answered, “His name is Clayton Morris on vacation this morning.”

Feigning ignorance, guest co-host Ainsley Earhardt “earnestly” asked, “Where is Clayton?” Slapping his knee for effect, Dave replied, “Clayton is out West in an undisclosed location.” Grinning at the intended intrigue, Mike interjected, “Is that right? In a bunker?” Dave replied, “I’ll just say out West with his wonderful wife and child. And, we miss them.”

Mike, bravo for your belated hat tip to Clayton.

[Author’s aside: As to Clayton’s whereabouts, no great mystery: He, his wife Natali nee Del Conte, and son Miles are camping in California on a family vacation.]

“King” Jerrick: Clayton Who?

Yet again? Yes, Fox & Friends Weekend guest co-host Mike Jerrick returned to the curvy couch today once more without a single word of acknowledgement of the co-anchor that he had replaced, Clayton Morris. His odd omission was made especially conspicuous in light of the fact that his fellow F&FW “guest” co-host Molly Line began each hour proclaiming that she was “in for Alisyn Camerota.” Stranger yet, co-host Dave Briggs likewise failed to mention the vacationing Clayton when he introduced Mike at the start of the show: He simply said, “Good morning to all of you! Molly and Mike are in this morning….It’s been a while, Mike.”

An unceremonious snub to Clayton? Perchance. But, perhaps, the F&FW producers merely deemed it a mite mal a propos to point out that their F&FW golden oldie was subbing for his greener, younger Philly friend. Nevertheless, even F&FW guest Karl Rove seemed to conveniently overlook his chum Clayton’s absence. In fact, when he was introduced for his regular F&FW segment by Mike, Rove fulsomely flattered, “I can’t believe it: We have the king of Philadelphia here in New York today, Mike.”*

Taking his cue, Dave playfully bent over in obiesance twice to Mike as Molly dutifully followed suit, saying, “Now, we have to bow.” Smiling, Rove remarked, “Dave, Molly, I went to Philadelphia and he made me kneel and kiss the ring before he allowed me into the studio. It was really amazing.” As a deadpanning Dave declared “Right,” Molly pointed to Mike’s ring finger, jesting, “Oh! Wow! We had to do that, too, this morning.”

Perhaps, a fitting tribute to the former F&FW royal. But, a tip of the hat to the new kid on the curvy couch who would be king might have been in order, too. Unless, of course, the “King of Philadelphia” is plotting his return to his erstwhile F&FW throne.

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 07/09/11 (8:16 a.m. ET)

Shine’s Line: “That’s the Plan for Now”

“I’m Molly Line in for Alisyn Camerota.” Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Molly Line so welcomed her viewers to the show four times this morning with that insistent line.* Perchance, the current Fox & Friends Saturday co-host who twice laughed seemingly at the prospect of the return of “regular” co-host Alisyn Camerota to F&FW intended to iterate the company line to convince doubtful Alisyn Camerota fans that their favorite host will some day return to her center seat on the curvy couch.

Of course, Molly, “the new girl” of F&F, may well find her task to be Sisyphean at best. After all, Aly has been absent for almost three months from Fox & Friends Weekend and her frequent appearances on other F&F daytime shows, i.e., America’s Newsroom, America Live, Happening Now, and even weekday Fox & Friends in the meantime seem to belie Molly’s now fervent assertions.

At the end of F&FW today, a, perhaps, telling exchange occurred. After F&FW co-anchor Dave Briggs promo’d the program tomorrow, he declared, “Molly Line will be back Saturday, I believe. I assume.” Arching her eyebrows, a smiling Molly shrugged her shoulders and exclaimed, “That’s the plan right now. Yeah!” Chuckling, Dave echoed, “That’s the plan for right now.”

That’s the plan for now: Molly Line in for Alisyn Camerota next Saturday, too. With Aly on vacation all this weekend, Fox News Senior VP of Programming Bill Shine’s “plan for now” for Aly ironically will at least be longer than his plan for his new “shakeup” summertime series The Five (if she returns next weekend). However, unfortunately, for Aly’s acolytes her recently personally promised return seems neither imminent nor foreseeable.

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 07/09/11 (at the top of each hour – 6:00 a.m. ET; 7:00 a.m. ET; 7:59 a.m. ET; and 8:59 a.m. ET)

“Smoking” Ainz Loses Cleavage–Mid Show

Earhardt: “Keep it clean!” Clad in her short, sleeveless, bosom-baring white dress, Fox & Friends Weekend guest co-host Ainsley Earhardt solicited the full attention of her co-hosts, Clayton Morris and Dave Briggs. Unfortunately, for her male admirers, it was, perhaps, a bit too much for her F&FW producers. When an appreciative Dave suggested that Ainsley was “smoking,” producers seemed to strangely deflate Ainsley’s breasts soon thereafter.

As the second hour of Fox & Friends Weekend began yesterday, the camera panned over ribs being cooked on an outside grill. As it did, Dave intoned, “Oh, we are smoking here on Fox & Friends this morning!” As Ainsley laughed, Dave chuckled, “Celebrating America–no, I am not talking about Ainsley. Talking about the food, it is delicious.”

Continuing, Dave declared, “Our friends from Pork Barrel Barbeque are here, and, boy, do they have some good stuff.” Subsequently, Ainsley queried, “And, you said they’ve created a cologne that smells like bacon?” Arching his eyes mischievously, Dave replied, “It’s for men and women, Ainz.” Smiling, Ainsley answered, “Oh, I think that women should wear it because every man I know loves bacon.”

Chiming in, Clayton jested, “I got an idea! What we’ll do is have you spray it on. We’ll have you walk down Fifth Avenue to see if anyone even notices you.” Animatedly, Ainsley agreed, “Done!”

Grinning at Ainsley, Dave racily interjected, “Could be the dress, could be the scent.” In response, a reddening Ainsley playfully slapped him on the shoulder with her papers. Smiling coyly, she exclaimed, “Keep it clean!”

An hour later, an odd thing occurred. Perhaps, taking Ainsley’s words too much to heart, producers appeared to put her twin orbs under wrap as the second half of the show started. Ainsley’s prized assets were no longer on prominent display for an appreciative audience–or, an appreciative Dave.

The fireworks had ended. Much too soon.