Dave’s Pol Babe Brandi

Briggs: “What a good wife you would be”–and are! Current SportsDash co-host and former Fox and Friends Weekend co-anchor Dave Briggs proudly announced that his beauty Brandi Briggs was back on the political stage last night. Dave’s better half was nominated to run for Connecticut state rep by the Westport Republican Town Committee. The blond “barrister” beauty and mother of three will run against Dem Jonathan Steinburg to represent the 136th District.

[Author’s aside: Subtitle obviously an allusion to Looking Glass’ hit Brandy (vid).]

Tucker Carlson: F&FW’s Shelley Hack?

Clayton Morris: “Welcome in Mike Jerrick from Philadelphia!” Yesterday, Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Anna Kooiman welcomed increasingly frequent co-anchor Tucker Carlson fill-in Mike Jerrick with a spirited fist bump to the curvy couch. Heartily endorsing his predecessor and successor at FOX 29 Good Day (Philadelphia), Clayton Morris enthusiastically exclaimed, “Welcome in Mike Jerrick from Philadelphia!” And, no mention was made of Tucker then or for the rest of the show Saturday. Or Sunday–when Mike returned.

As the author mused today about yet another absence of Tucker and the fact that his co-anchors Anna and Clayton (or meteorologist Rick Reichmuth) did not even care to cite it, he recalled, perhaps, a revealing vignette last Sunday on F&FW of Tucker’s disconnect to the show. After a segue to his weather report, Rick ribbed Tucker about not being able to get off the floor in an earlier “fitness” segment: Chuckling, Tucker jested, “I’d fallen and I can’t [sic]  get up.”* Meanwhile, putting her hands over her eyes, Anna interjected, “So embarrassed about that video: we keep playing it.” In reply to both, perhaps, Rick declared, “We can’t let it go.”

Grinning, a gesticulating Tucker queried, “On normal TV shows, don’t they kind of prevent you from embarrassing yourself on TV?” Interposing, Clayton jested, “On normal TV shows, not on Fox & Friends!” Rick riposted, “[Inaudible] Tucker has not watched this show before he joined!” Smiling, Tucker conceded, “Yeah, apparently, not.”

Seven months ago to the very day, the rather cerebral Tucker officially was named the replacement of popular, unapologetically sentimental Dave Briggs on the curvy couch. It seemed a somewhat strange choice for a weekend show that is largely predicated on a personal nexus between the co-hosts and the audience. It appeared, especially, so in light of a F&FW signature analysis segment on January 12 (approximately two-and-half months earlier): F&FW “handwriting expert” Michelle Dresbold declared Tucker’s printed signature (“TSMC”) to indicate that he was not really letting anyone see too much of himself.** Concurring, Tucker acknowledged, “It’s like ‘Tears of a Clown’: I keep it inside.”

Perhaps, too much so. What does the FOX say?

[Author’s aside: Incidentally, after seven months as an official F&FW co-host, Tucker has still not added his FNC position to his Twitter rubric. Re “Shelley Hack” in the title of this post, supra, she was the single-season actress who replaced Kate Jackson as the “cerebral” Angel in Charlie’s Angels and got bumped summarily when she did not connect with fans.]

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 10/26/13 (@ 8:04 a.m. ET)

**Fox & Friends Weekend – 01/12/13 (@ 9:48 a.m. ET)

Fox & Friends First Turns One: Growing Pains?

Co-host Ainsley Earhardt: “The four of us.”* F&FF‘s Big Love to less love? On March 5, 2013, Ainsley and her co-anchor Heather Nauert marked their first anniversary on the new Fox & Friends First with a much smaller family of co-hosts and a wiser (or, perhaps, more wizened) version of its younger self. Of the earlier stable of beauties (Anna Kooiman, Ainsley Earhardt, Juliet Huddy, Patti Ann Browne, Arthel Neville, Heather Childers, Heather Nauert, Julie Banderas, and Jamie Colby) and two beasts (Dave Briggs and Clayton Morris), only Ainsley, the two Heathers, and PAB survived the year. As to the show itself, it seems to be still evolving.

When F&FF made its debut [vid1], it proudly featured its “twin” sexy South Carolina sirens, Ainsley and Anna, who more than made good on their saucy promise to rouse their viewers with a “shot of expresso” [vid2].”  Bringing “SexyBack” a la the original F&FF [vid3] in the ’00’s (with Kiran Chetry, Alisyn Camerota, and Juliet Huddy), Anna and Ainsley saucily showcased their sexy stems in short dresses for their fervid fans as F&FF cameras took obligingly lingering shots. Subsequently, after two femme editors (1, 2) mocked the morning gamfest, they returned the very next day to a new set which hid their gorgeous gams behind a huge table: However, after the author derided them for “Losing Sexy Fast” and “Happening Not!,” F&FF switched course again and ditched the daffy desk.

Approximately, four months later, F&FF‘s website signaled that other changes were on the way when it provided only the bios of the current F&FF co-hosts, Ainsley, the two Heathers, and PAB. Subsequently, Juliet moved on to become a Fox 5 Good Day NY co-host; Arthel to her weekends as America’s News Headquarters co-anchor; Jamie Colby to her weekends also to America’s News HQ; and Clayton to his F&FW spot (and F&F guest co-host); and Dave ultimately to NBC Sports (with Michelle D. Beadle).

Re the programming itself, F&FF has ditched the split-screen opening with shots of the lovelies preparing for their show juxtaposed to the opining of Bill O’Reilly to conclude the Factor: in its place, F&FF producers run a modern-day version of American television viewers beginning their day to the national anthem and Old Glory waving in the wind before the programming begins. Mid-show, the gorgeous gals stretch their gams and stand rather than flaunt their legs and sit to proclaim the five important stories of the next half-hour. Furthermore, the “B Team” beauties no longer end their show with a segue to the F&F “A Team”: Rather, they bid their viewers adieu in lieu of risking another uncomfortable toss (“F&F Cat Spat: Gretch ‘Slimes’ the Two Heathers”).

Growing pains? Over the year, F&FF has pared its “perfect ten” to a “final four.” A winning team for the future?

[Author’s aside (re the subtitle): When Heather Nauert concluded F&FF‘s anniversary show, saying, “It’s always a great time together,” Ainsley answered, “The four of us.”]

Sexy Aly: “My New Website”

“What do you think?” Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Alisyn Camerota may always be “Puerto Rico Perfect”: But, her site could use some work. Two days before Valentine’s Day, the sexy siren heralded the debut of her personal new web site alisyncamerota.com. As Aly gave an appreciative nod to its apparent creator, her talented assistant Jenn Marie Rivera, for her “mastery,”  she asked her fans for their reviews.

As for the author, he gives Aly’s site three stars (out of five) in its present state. The “Home,” “In the News,” and “Facebook” sections pass muster but the “About” and “Gallery” are not quite up to par. For new F&FW viewers, the “About” section gives them the mistaken notion that Aly has continually co-hosted the show since 2000: In reality, Aly co-anchored it during the early-to-mid 2000’s with Kiran Chetry and Julian Phillips (and, later, with Kelly Wright) and returned to captain the crew of Clayton Morris and Dave Briggs in 2008. As to the “Gallery,” it is mainly a prosaic pictorial chronology of Aly on the program (other than her fun, frisky “Action Heroes” shots): perhaps, it should be spiced up with more personal and/or saucy shots of the Italian dish, a la the infamously deleted bikini pic.

Aly’s site: still a work in progress. But, hats off to Jenn for a good start!

Aly: “Tucker Carlson Here with Us, of Course!”

Unless Bill Shine rolls the dice again. Perhaps, no more needed to be said by Fox & Friends Weekend “regular” co-host Alisyn Camerota. For Tucker Carlson, the Daily Caller co-founder, who made his debut on F&FW as a FNC contributor almost four years ago, it seems that the die is cast: I.e., Alisyn Camerota, queen of the F&FW curvy couch, signaled strongly today that Tucker is indeed erstwhile F&FW co-anchor Dave Briggs‘ permanent replacement.

Almost a month ago, F&FW‘s “After the Show Show” producers appeared to hint that Tucker would replace the recently departed Dave Briggs as the new F&FW co-host when they presented a brief A.S.S. intro of him: During that program, Aly and guest co-anchor Mike Jerrick strongly suggested that Tucker would be the F&FW co-host in the new year 2013. Moreover, approximately, three weeks ago, Aly indicated that Tucker was being “hazed” as a “new co-host” when he haplessly was the “coughing victim” during an F&FW “Fighting the Flu” segment. Furthermore, about two weeks ago, Tucker seemed to be given equal status with Aly and co-anchor Clayton Morris as a F&FW chryon introduced the three as a apparent team at the start of each hour. Last weekend, when Tucker and Aly were off (and subbed for by Mike Jerrick and Anna Kooiman, respectively), it appeared that Tucker may have simply been co-host of the month (January 2013) to the author: However, Aly seemed to try to put that thought to rest today when she introduced her two co-hosts in the second hour, saying, “Mike Jerrick in for Clayton. Tucker Carlson here with us, of course!“*

Caveat: Tucker has not been added to the Fox & Friends Weekend website profiles alongside Aly and Clayton nor has he been included as an FNC “On-Air Personalities: All Anchors & Reporters.” Perhaps, Bill Shine, FNC’s Executive VP of Programming, may want to roll again if the reserved, awkward Tucker is not well received by F&FW fans. Or, perhaps, if Aly is allowed to leave the ship that she has saved for bluer waters, e.g., F&F weekday (if Gretchen Carlson gets her own FNC gig or her contract is not renewed) and Shine decides to start afresh–again.

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 02/09/13 (@ 7:32 a.m. ET)

F&FW 2013: Tucker Time? Shhh!

Alisyn Camerota, Clayton Morris–and Tucker Carlson? With nary a word Saturday, Fox & Friends Weekend producers seemed to be sneaking Daily Caller co-founder Tucker Carlson into their permanent co-anchor roster to replace recently departed Dave Briggs. Only a week earlier, co-host Alisyn Camerota told Tucker that he was enduring a “sort of hazing” that F&FW did to its “new co-anchors” (when he had to brave an automaton’s emetic expectoration during a “Fighting the Flu” segment).

Yesterday, at the start of each hour, instead of the usual presentation of all three co-hosts by one of the permanent ones, Tucker, Aly, and Clayton uttered not a syllable of introduction. Rather, they let their individual chyrons do the talking, “Tucker Carlson, Alisyn Camerota, [and] Clayton Morris” as if to indicate all three co-hosts, including Tucker, were now equals in a new F&FW iteration. In an apparent attempt to distract their long-time viewers from these new odd introductory voids, respectively, they discursively discussed, Aly’s being “slaphappy,” Aly’s “beloved assistant,” Andrew Dice Clay‘s F&FW intro, and Clayton’s at-home “Superman” garb.

Since Dave left the show on New Year’s Eve 2012, Tucker has taken on his mantle without fail in the New Year 2013. The only exception has been F&F‘s January 20 special edition when FNC  “scrambled” their F&F “A-Team” co-hosts Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade to join Aly for Inauguration coverage a la 2009.*

F&FW 2013? Apparently, it’s now Tucker time!

*F&FW – 01/20/13 (@ 8:15 a.m.) – [Referring to himself, Steve, and Aly, Brian remarked, “That fact (Vice President Biden’s swearing-in) does not elude…Bret Baier who is scrambled on a Sunday like us because of [this] historic day in Washington.” (Italics added for emphasis.)]

Heather’s Virgin Vacation: Best Birthday Ever :)

“Thanks @tzb3.” Throwing caution to the winds, Fox & Friends First co-host Heather Childers shared her daily diary and personal pictures with her Tweeps as she took a rapturous romp in the Virgin Islands with her apparent beau @tzb3. From the time that  she and her honey left Charlotte, North Carolina, Heather regaled her followers with photos of her island destination (St. Thomas), with her sublime experiences (wading in the surf, greeting the sunrise, dining shore-side, catching the St. Thomas – St. John Ferry, imbibing her balcony rainbow, and basking in the Baths), and with a few sexy bikini pics to boot (1, 2).

Yes, Heather can hang with her shapely Fox & Friends First colleagues Ainsley Earhardt and Anna Kooiman (and alums of the same South Carolina elementary school). Surely, Ainsley caught Jay Leno’s eye when her derriere was ogled seemingly by former F&FW co-host Dave Briggs and Anna snared the attention of F&F co-anchors Brian Kilmeade and Steve Doocy with her “booty shaking” morning dance: But, Heather has now brought her own sexy Southern touch to FNC by sharing the ambiance, aesthetics, and allure of her Caribbean birthday bash with her own fervid fans.

Heather heat: Hot Child-ers in the City!

[Author’s aside: Re “Best birthday ever :) Thanks @tzb3” in title, supra, cf. Heather’s “Sparkling lights of #StThomas!” post.”]

Dave’s Final Farewell

Briggs: “I will be right across the street from Fox News….There’s a big tree over there.” NBC Sports co-host? Having returned for a three-day encore, former Fox & Friends Weekend co-anchor Dave Briggs seemingly disclosed his future plans to his fans in his final After the Show Show on Christmas Eve. Even though he indicated that he would reveal them more fully this Thursday, he teased, “I will be right across the street from Fox News. If anybody wants to read too much into that and figure out what’s right across the street…there’s a big tree over there.”* Spelling it out further for those unfamiliar with FNC’s neighboring NBC studios and their Rockefeller Center Christmas tree, guest co-host Juliet Huddy remarked, “Google ‘sports across the stree….'”!

Apparently, FNC authority J$P was right on the money: He opined that the “likely destination for @davebriggstv [is] NBC Sports Network.” Elucidating further, he RT’d @SPORTSbyBROOKS: SbB has learned NBC Sports Network is planning a daily show hosted by @MichelleDBeadle & @davebriggstv.”

As Dave declared, he will assuredly miss both his erstwhile F&FW co-hosts, Clayton Morris and their “work wife” Alisyn Camerota a/k/a “Bikini Aly.” But, do not feel too bad for Dave: Apparently, he will have another saucy blond beauty to keep him company at his new network, namely, Michelle Beadle, Bleacher Report‘s “Hottest Sports Chick of the Week.”

*A.S.S. – 12/31/12 (@ 2:21/5:37)

Tearful Briggs Leaves F&FW

Dave: “I’m not going away! Just going somewhere else in the New Year.” Today, Fox & Friends Weekend co-anchor Clayton Morris dropped a bombshell this morning by announcing that co-host Dave Briggs is leaving their popular FNC morning weekend show. After the final half hour began with the “Shot of the Morning,” Clayton turned to Dave and their fellow co-anchor Alisyn Camerota, remarking, “I want to take a moment here because this is going to be the last time that the three of us…are going to be on the couch together. Looking down, Dave replied, “Wow! I didn’t expect you to say that: But, yeah, I am. I will be moving on.”

Tearing up, Dave continued, “I will miss the two of you more than I can speak. You’ve made me better and you’ve made the show better. You’ve been my work family!”

Growing emotional, too, Clayton interjected, stammering, “Likewise, man! It’s like a, like losing, you know, having a brother leave, you know, with a family and move on.”

Chiming in, Aly exclaimed, “We will miss you so much, Dave!”

Sentimentally, Dave stated, “I will miss you both! It’s been the best show, best job of my life. I will never have a job I enjoy more, no matter where I go.” Looking into the camera at his fans, he assuring stated, “But, you will see me. I’m not going away! Just going somewhere else in the New Year but it’s been a wonderful experience here.”

As to Dave’s departure date, Aly explained, “Dave will be through here through the end of the year: But, I won’t be working during these shows.”

Sounding as if he may be leaving Fox News to boot, Dave declared, “But, I should say thanks to…Roger Ailes, and to Bill Shine, and Suzanne Scott, and some of the people who brought me here as well. And, all the producers who have helped me out for a couple of years. But, I just, I love you guys!” Then, as FNC meteorologist Rick Reichmuth appeared in a split screen shot, Dave added, “And, Rick, Rick has been my confidante and my office mate. And, you guys are, you’re my family: I’ve never had a work family….Damn, I’m gonna miss it!”

Nodding his head for emphasis, Rick replied, “We’re gonna miss you, Dave! But, you know, the good part is you’re not moving anywhere….This is Aly’s and this is my last day with you, Dave. So, it been wonderful to have you here: And, we will miss you a ton.”

So, where will Dave be? Before his big announcement, a Twitter follower asked, “What’s with the beard cutie?”: In answer to his avatar change, Dave cryptically Tweeted, “Explanation coming soon…”

Perhaps, much more telling, in the final segment of F&FW today, Aly gave Dave multiple pairs of hosiery as a parting present, saying, “So, Dave, I don’t know if your new co-anchor is gonna want to match her outfit to your socks: But, if so, I have gotten you some possibly anchor-friendly new socks to match with her outfits.” Seemingly, confirming that he will be co-hosting a new show with a new female co-host, he answered,”I think she’s gonna love them!”

Pleading with his fans for their continued loyalty in his future endeavor, Dave subsequently Tweeted, “I will miss our viewers almost as much as Clayton, Aly & Rick. I really appreciate every one of you and hope you stick w/me in 2013…”

Good luck, Dave!

[Author’s aside: Notably, on this august occasion, Dave dutifully donned his connubial band today after approximately three weeks on F&FW sans it. Bravo, Brandi!]

Update: In the After the Show Show (via J$P), Aly more definitively verified Dave new gig, saying, “You new co-anchor is such a lucky woman!”

Update2: According to J$P, the “likely destination for @davebriggstv – NBC Sports Network.” Subsequently, he RT’d @SPORTSbyBROOKS: SbB has learned NBC Sports Network is planning a daily show hosted by @MichelleDBeadle & @davebriggstv.” As further evidence, he teased, “RT @MichelleDBeadle (yesterday): Cranked out promos for my new sports show and my last Access Hollywood of the year….”

Aly: “Steve & Brian Here with Me”

Gretchen: Hey, everyone! I’m…in for Shep today. Aly at Fox & Friends’ helm soon? Today, FNC anchor Alisyn Camerota was in charge of the F&F “A Team” as F&F Weekend covered the Connecticut school carnage. After a special weekend edition of F&F First, Aly welcomed her audience and the F&F “big boys,” saying, “Good morning, everyone! We appreciate you joining us on this very sad morning. It’s great to have Steve [Doocy] and Brian [Kilmeade] here with me.”

Remarkably, Aly did not note the absence of either of her regular F&FW co-hosts Clayton Morris or Dave Briggs. Furthermore, in this Fox & Friends “special edition,” Aly did not mention her purported “A Team” counterpart Gretchen Carlson, who was conspicuously missing this morning. Has the changing of the F&F “A Team” guard already begun?

Only two days ago, seldom solo host Gretchen notably filled in for Shepard Smith on Studio B, an FNC afternoon show (saying, “Hello, everyone! I’m…in for Shep today”):* Perhaps, her contract negotiations have begun to bear more fruit. According to New York Magazine, Gretchen was “said to want to host her own show on the network but Fox executives [were] resistant to the idea”: furthermore, it reported that a source had said that she had reached a “short-term accord that would keep her on the curvy couch with Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade until the election” but added that “after November, it’s unclear.”

Perhaps, tellingly, Gretchen has seemed to be particularly strident in her polemics lately–as if she might be auditioning for “her own show.” And, her co-hosts Steve and Brian appear reluctantly to be biting their tongue all the more. Perchance, they think that she is starting to spread her wings in anticipation of a flight on her own soon to a later hour on FNC.

Post-election F&F: Gretch a goner? If so, is Aly their new “It girl”? Stay tuned.

*Studio B with Shepard Smith – 12/13/12 (@ 3:00 a.m. ET)

Ailes’ Angel Aly: “Just Smoking Hot!”

Camerota, Aly Camerota. Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Alisyn Camerota went off on a secret assignment last week with her FNC colleague Ainsley Earhardt. After promising to provide clues to her Twitter followers, Aly Tweeted them airport and arrival pics (1, 2). Shortly thereafter, Aly sent them a video of herself and Ainz, revealing, “We’re here [in Austin] learning how to be action heroes at the very place that trains the stunt doubles for the James Bond movie”: Elaborating in the clip, Ainz added, “We’re going to be blowing up cars, shooting guns [and] jumping through rings of fire; it’s gonna be fun!

Proving Ainz’s point, Aly’s apparent assistant Tweeted her own inside shot, saying, “This looks way frightening @AlisynCamerota packing heat via.me/-7i442ue.” Adding to the intrigue, Aly Tweeted a photo of herself in training,  scaling a mock skyscraper in tandem with Ainz. Subsequently, she sent an action photo of herself with wind-blown tresses next to a roaring fire (with the caption “Just another typical day in the life of a news gal). To top it off, Aly Tweeted a “Charlie’s Angels” shot of herself and Ainz sexily posing with big guns in front of a raging inferno: Tantalizing her fans further in the caption, she wrote, “Stay tuned to find out what @ainsleyearhardt and I have been up to.”

Stay tuned indeed. Ailes’s Angels: Ainz and Aly Cat. Rowrrr!

[Author’s aside: “Just smoking hot!” in the title of this article is derived from F&FW co-anchor Clayton Morris‘ apt description of Aly about two weeks ago. After a smoking segment promo, Clayton turned to Aly and racily remarked, “You smoke.” When Aly chuckled, co-host Dave Briggs interjected, “She’s just smoking!” Eying Aly, Clayton exclaimed, “She’s just smoking hot!” F&FW – 11/25/12 (@ 9:00 a.m. ET)]

Dave M.I.A.: “With My Little Angel”

In the hospital? Today, an absent Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Dave Briggs watched his show from a certain undisclosed location–with a special young lady in his life. Cryptically, he Tweeted, “Thanks @ericbolling for filling in, watching you @ClaytonMorris @ainsleyearhardt w/my little angel lockerz.com/s/267345049.”

In Dave’s missive, he included a poignant photo of his ten-month-old daughter Logan. The beautiful little girl appeared to be sipping from a baby bottle in a hospital baby bed (as F&FW aired on a TV screen in the distance). No explanation was given–even to his concerned Twitter followers.

Hope your “little angel” is well, Dave. Or, gets well soon!

[Author’s aside: Even though the responses of Dave’s fans were available earlier in the day, they no longer appear to be as Twitter turned his “Details” to “More***.”]

“Ringless” Briggs Gets Bawdy

Dave: “There’s a lot happening down there.” Oops! Naughty Fox & Friends co-host Dave Briggs may just receive some coal in his stocking on Christmas morn this year from his beauty Brandi. Perhaps, rightly so. For two days straight, Dave has reverted to his old habit of “forgetting” his wedding band: To make matters worse for himself, he got a bit bawdier than usual to boot!

Returning from the first half-hour commercial break,  a somewhat muted Dave began to promo a tipping segment.* When he did, his co-anchor Clayton Morris interjected, “I’ll give you a tip if you pull your microphone out of your pocket.” As Dave pulled his mic from his pants and high-fived Clayton, his co-host Alisyn Camerota laughed, “That’s the best tip of the day!”

Ribaldly, Clayton remarked, “Although it sounded great in your pants!”

Stroking his nose puckishly, Dave bawdily declared, “There’s a lot happening down there!”

As Clayton chuckled at Dave’s priapic posit, Aly smirked and rolled her eyes, remarking, “Alright. Most people aren’t looking for that kind of tip! They’re looking for a monetary tip.”

After watching her bad boy on Sunday’s show, Brandi may be looking for her own “tip” (or Christmas extra). Albeit a slightly larger one!

*F&FW – 12/02/12 (@ 6:32 a.m. ET)

Ainsley’s “Back”: “What Did You Do to Me?”

Clayton: “My, my clothes are still on!” The Coolidge effect? Fox & Friends Weekend guest co-anchor Clayton Morris seemed to have a revived libido Sunday when sexy guest co-host Ainsley Earhardt filled in for F&FW regular co-anchor Alisyn Camerota. In fact, he turned rather rakish during an “Amazing Kreskin!” segment when Ainsley was asked to close her eyes for a card “test” by the famed mentalist.

As famed mentalist “Amazing Kreskin” promoted his new book, Conversations with Kreskin (with a foreword by FNC Prez Roger Ailes), he told of Ailes’ praise for his prowess with cards: Pulling out a deck, he asked Ainsley to close her eyes and to trust him. Smiling as she shut them, she replied, “I trust you.” Pointing to both Clayton and her other co-anchor Dave Briggs, she laughed, “I don’t trust these guys! I’m going to trust you. My life is in your hands.”

When Kreskin had executed his legerdemain for his test of Ainsley, he said, “I want you to open your eyes.” Grinning, Clayton chimed, “You can open you eyes now.” Joining the chorus, Dave commanded, “Open your eyes now. Open them!”

Looking down at her cleavage as she did so, a reddening Ainsley asked, “What did you do to me?” Beaming, Dave declared, “We didn’t touch you–at all!” As Dave put up his palms to assert his innocence, Clayton racily remarked, “My clothes are still on!” In response, Dave’s eyes widened in incredulity as he struggled vainly to maintain his composure: Meanwhile, a chuckling Ainsley blushed all the more. But, she smiled sweetly at her naughty lad Clayton.

Ainsley: back to the future with her bad boys on the weekend? Aly did debut her new do proudly on F&F weekday Monday.** And, as to Gretchen, the election is over.

*Fox & Friends – 11/28/12 (@ 8:26 a.m. ET)

**F&F – 11/19/12 (@ 6:01 a.m. ET)

Briggs Jabs at Jerrick: But, Hits Branson (Vets)

“Hot spot of the Midwest…Mike Jerrick’s favorite place.” Aly’s bosom? Of all days, Fox & Friends Weekend co-anchor Dave Briggs chose Veterans Day to nettle benightedly his older guest co-host Mike Jerrick, and by extension, elder-friendly Branson, Missouri. Segueing to a segment with Lt. Colonel Oliver North about Branson’s Veterans Homecoming Week honoring World War II veterans on, Dave jested, “It’s the live entertainment hotspot of the Midwest…Branson, Missouri, Mike’s favorite place.”* Mitigating smartly Dave’s ill-timed barb, Mike interposed, “That’s right!”

Subsequently, Lt. Col. North interviewed several senior vets who had served from as far back as 1957. When he had concluded his segment and had tossed back to Dave, Mike, and co-anchor Alisyn Camerota, Dave deftly declared, “I’ve never been to Branson!” Immediately, Mike exclaimed, “I’ve been there! It’s great!” Chiming in, Aly declared, “You [Dave] would love it!”

Calling Aly out, inadvertently or not, Dave asked, “You’ve been, right?” In answer, Aly admitted, “No, I haven’t.”

Ebulliently, Briggs replied, “I would love it. I gotta go!”

When Aly interestingly indicated that she’d like to go DollyWood instead for her next vacation, Dave deftly declared, “We should do a show from Branson and a show from Dollywood.” In reply, Aly aptly exclaimed, “Bingo!”

As the denoement of Dave’s diminutive debacle concluded, Mike, ever the satyr of the dawn, subtly gestured toward Aly’s bosom, randily remarking, “You have so much in common with Dolly Parton!” Smiling, Aly racily replied, “I know that!” Rolling his eyes in mirth, Dave playfully snorted and wisely stayed silent this time.

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 11/11/12 (@ 9:30 a.m. ET)

MJ: “Oh, We Love Nicole [Petallides]! Don’t We?”

Dave Briggs: “We do indeed!” FBN’s sultry siren Nicole Petallides heated up the Fox & Friends Weekend studio again this morning, much to the delight of co-anchors Mike Jerrick and Dave Briggs. As the long-legged, short-skirted Greek beauty sashayed toward the curvy couch in a tease for her post-break upcoming business segment), Mike sighed, “Oh, we love Nicole! Don’t we?”* As Nicole beamed broadly, Dave exclaimed, “We do indeed!”

And, do they ever. As F&FW fans may remember almost two years ago, Nicole saucily displayed her Red Eye “exhibitionist” side: With two memorable hikes of her skirt, she seduced her F&FW audience and mesmerized its co-hosts (especially, a very appreciative Mike). Earlier this year (January 28), Nicole was simply her usual sensual self on the curvy couch: Clad in a short black skirt and a low-cut blue top, she rendered an enraptured Dave virtually mute as he nervously coughed continuously throughout their interview.

Apparently, it just comes naturally for Nicole. On F&FW (March 24) as a guest co-host, she revealed her “little secret” to captivated co-anchor Clatyon Morris that she her (pre-cell) CB handle was “Wonder Woman” as she cruised the the Long Island Expressway in her Datsun 280ZX.** Furthermore, she has enchanted her FBN fans as a “Foxy’s Angel” on Happy Hour (alongside regular Rebecca Diamond nee Gomez and guest Sandra Smith). And, now, she serves as FBN’s resident “Stocks Fox.”

FBN’s Nicole: FNC’s future F&FW Fox?

*F&FW – 11/10/12 (@ 8:42 a.m. ET)

**F&FW – 03/24/12 (@ 6:33 a.m. ET)

F&F’s “Sexy” Nauert: Distant But in Control

Waking up with Heather on the weekend. Leggy Fox & Friends First co-host Heather Nauert seized the F&F Weekend helm for Alisyn Camerota with gusto Sunday. But, instead of flaunting her gorgeous gams a la F&FF, the blond beauty seemed somewhat demure: Dressed in a short black dress and an “M&M” green jacket, Heather hid herself behind her open laptop for the day (as her co-hosts Clayton Morris and Dave Briggs provided her cover as they anomalously kept theirs studiously open as well).

Sexy or not, the girl still ruled the roost almost like a young E.D. Hill. Playing the needed F&FW “alpha bitch,” Heather had her boys going through their paces. Rarely stopping for breath, she was subtly hushing Dave with her hand at one moment and conspicuously instructing Clayton to elaborate at another.

Heather may have performed well today as a substitute with her co-hosts, Clayton and Dave: But, she could learn from Aly, the master, on how to awaken F&FW‘s fans. For FNC weekend viewers who are struggling mightily to escape the embrace of Morpheus, a softer, gentler greeting from a gorgeous gal is preferable to one from a Red-Bull-infused chatty Cathy. To boot, she may want to close the cloaking laptop as a general rule in the future: as Megyn Kelly aptly declared (about her America Live leg-displaying glass desk), “It’s a visual business. People want to see the anchor.”

Maria Molina: Cosmo’s Caliente Latina!

“Funny, smart, and stylish,” too. FNC weatherwoman Marina Molina puts the fox into Fox News and, to boot, she rocks the “hot job of the week” according to Cosmopolitan for Latinas. In her flattering profile, the sexy twenty-five-year-old Columbia-grad student provides her bona fides (FSU alum with both a Meteorology degree and AccuWeather work experience); revels in her Nicaraguan roots (“the people, the food, the culture”); and reveals the key to her success (persistence and hard work). Perhaps, she forgot to mention being a universal hottie does not hurt either.

Of course, Cosmo seems somewhat tardy in their recognition of the comely meteorological replacement of FNC’s Italian dish Domenica Davis: Carpe Diem celebrated the debut of Maria on FNC’s Fox & Friends Weekend (to the delight of co-host Dave Briggs) approximately two years ago. Not to mention, CD subsequently reported on the smoldering Maria’s heating up of the Fox & Friends weekday version as well (even sans photos for co-anchor Brian Kilmeade) Whether Maria is tempting her viewers by going “bust” (or “naked”) or simply teasing them with her subliminal “phallic” map, CD has been there to provide her devoted votaries the delicious details.

Maria Molina: a Cosmo Latina? Helen Gurley Brown would be proud!

H/t J$P.

Missing Morris: “Pneumonia!”

Another weekend off? Today, Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Clayton Morris continued to be M.I.A. from his post–for the second week in a row. Unfortunately, his co-hosts Alisyn Camerota and Dave Briggs provided scant commentary for Clayton’s extended absence other than his being sick. Given F&FW‘s past anchor defenestrations (e.g., Page Hopkins, Kelly Wright, and Greg Kelly), unexplained departures (Kiran Chetry), and questionable leaves of absence (Alisyn Camerota), Clayton’s fans surely deserved much more transparency. Happily, apparently, Clayton provided those answers last week–via Twitter.

On the day before F&FW Saturday (last week), Clayton Tweeted, “My wife [Natali Morris nee Del Conte] is a saint. Taking care of two kids and a husband with a 103 degree fever. I’m useless. Well, more than usual.” After the show, he remarked, “Chest X-Ray time to find out if this is pneumonia.” On the following Monday (two days later), Clayton comically revealed the results: He jested, “I’ve lost 6 pounds! My diet secret? Pneumonia!”

At least, Clayton gets it. Get well soon, Clayton!

Rick Reichmuth’s “Rude” Landing: Cops Called

Dave Briggs: “Sorry, Rick, I just outed the whole story!” Fox & Friends Weekend meteorologist Rick Reichmuth was having a “good morning” Saturday. Excitedly, he reported on the 30th Annual Quick Chek NJ Festival of Ballooning during his seven weather segments and enthusiastically shared video and pics (1, 2, and 3) with his Twitter followers. Then, it took a notable turn for the worse as he subsequently took a scenic balloon ride that ended in an irate farmer’s field. Unfortunately, Rick did not tell that part of the story: But, his FNC office-mate and F&FW co-host Dave Briggs did.

On Saturday, as Rick’s final weather forecast ended, he took flight in a red, white, and blue balloon ironically with “800 FARMERS” emblazoned thereon.* Recalling that fact Sunday, Dave introduced the first weather segment, remarking, “The last we saw of Rick Reichmuth, he was getting on an air balloon and floating off: the next thing we know, Maria Molina is in. I…don’t know what conclusion you could draw other than, maybe, he didn’t land.” Laughing, Maria replied that she hoped that Rick would make it back safely and added that he would be having a long weekend off.

When Maria’s forecast concluded, Dave took the toss and filled in the juicy details: Chuckling, he revealed, “And, I should mention [that] Rick did land on his hot air balloon–in a farm: And, the man actually called the police. He wasn’t so interested in them landing in there.” As his co-hosts Alisyn Camerota and Clayton Morris laughed gleefully, a grinning Dave added, “Sorry, Rick, I just outed the whole story! It was good times.”

“Good times”? Perhaps, for everyone except Rick and his poor pilot. And, the angry farmer who, apparently, was not one of the “800” who sponsored Rick’s ill-fated balloon.

Rick, no pain, no gain: Just a little extra curricular F&FW fun for the fans!

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 07/28/12 (@ 9:38 a.m. ET)