Archive for December, 2015

“Spewing” Gregg Jarrett: No Trump Fan

December 24, 2015

Jarrett: Trump a liar–and a bad student. FNC honcho Roger Ailes’ “erstwhile errant anchor” Gregg Jarrett continued his quixotic assault on The Donald today as guest co-host on America’s Newsroom. Approximately, two months ago, he accused Trump of being a liar: Today, he inanely assailed him as a poor grammarian. As any politico knows, when one hits Trump, you may get hit back–hard.

After a segment subtitled “Trump Warns Clinton ‘Be Careful’ with Sexism Accusation” which featured Trump’s Tweet, saying, “Hillary, when you complain about “a penchant for sexism,” who are you referring to. I have great respect for women. BE CAREFUL,” Gregg snarked, “Have you noticed when Donald Trump Tweets he makes grammatical mistakes? He ended the sentence with a preposition: “Who are you referring to”? It should be ‘to whom are you referring?'”

As he began his pedantic critique, supra, a smiling Abby Huntsman laughed, “I don’t know where this is going, Gregg!” After he finished his ill-considered jab at Trump, Abby explained, “You know Tweets are weird: You know, they’re short. I’m not defending his Tweets at all.”

Not pleased with Abby’s sympathetic response, Gregg curtly queried, “Okay to make grammatical mistakes?”

Abby replied, “But, usually, he’s due. I think people like that though. That’s kind of his appeal: He doesn’t care; he doesn’t care how he sounds; he doesn’t care what he Tweets.”

In response, Gregg stammered, “Maybe, he was asleep in grade school: I don’t kn0w.”

Greg, Abby may be the  newbie on the FNC scene and a fabulously gorgeous gal but make no mistake–she is no dummy. She knows the ropes in both the studio and in politics, and, perhaps, you could learn a thing or two from her, i.e., the meaning of FNC’s famed “fair and balanced” ethic from her.

Or, you could retake that ethics course in journo school–that you may have fallen “asleep” in. Oops! Sorry, Gregg, about ending my sentence in a–gasp–preposition.

*America’s Newsroom – 12/24/15 (@ 9:45 a.m. ET).

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Aly’s Goodbye Kiss

December 24, 2015

Sweet –and sexy! On this Christmas Eve, New Day co-anchor Alisyn Camerota must have been standing under the mistletoe. As Aly bid her ND fans a fond farewell this morn, she blew them a rare kiss for holiday cheer.

Not surprisingly, her co-host Chris Cuomo suddenly played the Grinch, feebly attempting to steal some sweet and sexy CNN Christmas joy from Aly and her acolytes. Fecklessly, People‘s 1997 “New York City’s Most Eligible Bachelor” tried to mock Aly’s sweet and sexy gesture by bussing the air and looking at the queen of New Day with some slightly “good-natured” derision.

But, the mischievous scion of Mario Cuomo and the younger brother of New York’s guv could not diminish the inimitable Aly a/k/a the “Bristol Bay Babe.” She may be his TV wife: But, Chris does well to remember that Aly is his better ND half–and, indubitably, the fairer sex!

Suspended FNC “Total Pu*sy” Contributor Returns

December 23, 2015

Lt. Col. Ralph Peters (Ret.): “Merry Christmas, Abby!” On the eve of Christmas Eve, Christian charity has returned to the airwaves: The FNC contributor who called the President a “total pu*sy” and who was summarily suspended by Fox News for two weeks was welcomed back warmly today by FNC’s latest lovely score, the gorgeous Abby Huntsman, on America’s Newsroom.*

In a segment subtitled, “GOP Criticizes Secy of State Kerry over Visa Waivers for Iran,” Abby introduced Lt. Col. Peters to her audience and then welcomed him, saying, “Sir, thank you for being with us.” In answer, he exclaimed, Merry Christmas, Abby!” As she smiling replied, “Merry Christmas to you, too!,” he responded with a puckish grin, “And to all!”

No more expletives today comparing the President with feminine genitalia from Lt. Col. Peters but he lambasted POTUS anew with vigor. Lt. Col. Peters asserted that President Obama is doing nothing as “Iran is building this new Persian Empire across the Middle East…get[ting], at least, a hundred billion dollars from the Iran-nuke-give-away deal…still testing rockets that can hit Israel and go beyond Israel [and] they’re holding Americans hostage.” In conclusion, he declared, “Abby, the Persians, the Iranians are building the greatest Iranian empire in 2500 years on Obama’s watch. And, frankly, much of what we’re doing militarily in Iraq and Syria is actually helping the Iranians…and we have no strategic vision under this Administration. None!” Sardonically, he added, “Merry Christmas!”

Perchance, Lt. Col. Peters “suspension” room mate, Stacey Dash will also be welcomed back during this Christmas holiday season: Her two weeks are up, too.

*America’s Newsroom – 12/23/15 (@ 10:33 a.m. ET).

Elisabeth’s Tearful Farewell

December 22, 2015

Hasselbeck: “This hurts!” Today, Fox & Friends co-anchor Elisabeth Hasselbeck said  a painful goodbye to her co-hosts, Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade; the F&F crew; and her fans after a mere two plus years on the curvy couch. The three hours of F&F today were replete with homages to Elisabeth from the likes of Judge Andrew Napolitano, Governor Chris Christie, and GOP front runner Donald Trump. And, Elisabeth was effusive in her praise for, of course, the boss Roger Ailes, for her co-hosts Steve and Brian, and seemingly for every Tom, Dick, and Harry who works for F&F. It was vintage Elisabeth: sweet, cloying so, and seemingly sincere.

The author wishes her well in her position as CBO, i.e., Chief Breakfast Officer, of the Hasselbeck household. Speaking of which, it seems odd, in retrospect, that her own family, hubby Tim and the kids, seemed to have taken a backseat to her work family of Steve, Brian, newsreader Heather Nauert, meteorologist Maria Molina, and the F&F crew today. The faithful F&F fan might have hoped to hear not only her fond farewells to her F&F fam (and fans) today but also a dear, sweet welcome back to full-time work as Hasselbeck CBO from her eagerly awaiting hubs and kiddos–on screen or even on the phone this morn. Alas, it was not to be.

Elisabeth, even though you initially seemed to the author to be an odd choice to follow the footsteps of E.D. Hill and Gretchen Carlson, you have earned your place on the curvy couch–as a sister to Steve and Brian rather than the sexy siren to her couch mates. Much success in the future, Elisabeth!

[Author’s aside: The subtitle, infra, is a quote from Elisabeth re her departure in the final moments of the first F&F segment this morning. F&F – 12/22/15 (@ 6:10 a.m. ET).]

Timpf: Coulter Light?

December 17, 2015

Katherine: Hillary is a criminal! The Five guest co-host Katherine Timpf came across today as a wannabe hipster mean girl. In her first time as co-anchor of The Five, apparently, the FNC contributor and National Review writer derided Senator Ted Cruz as Trump Lite; dismissed Governor Chris Christie as a virtual has-been a la Al Bundy; derided former Mike Huckabee as an embarrassing, bumbling comedian, and dubbed Dem front runner Secretary Hillary Clinton “a criminal.”

The Five regulars, Kimberly Guilfoyle, Juan Williams, Eric Bolling, and Dana Perino took Katherine in stride initially–when she criticized Cruz: In fact, W.’s self-professed “number one fan,” Dana beamed when Katherine mocked Cruz as Trump Lite and she woefully tried to impersonate him (and said that she was glad that she could not).

In a subsequent segment, Katherine criticized Christie as one who had missed his chance and as one who is “kinda like a dude who peaked in high school that still has some of that confidence but he’s [sic] kinda knows he’s kidding himself.” Not amused at her flippant aspersion, Dana sternly answered, “Hmmm, I disagree. But, we don’t have enough time.”

Later (in a segment about the U.S. accepting Syrian refugee immigration into the U.S.), Katherine mocked Huckabee after a Five clip of the CNN GOP Presidential debater, saying, “If it’s such a doggone good idea to bring people here that we really don’t know who they are and [President] Obama thinks that we’re being un-Christian to not do it, I’ve got a suggestion: Let’s send the first wave of ’em to Chappaqua, Martha’s Vineyard, and the Upper East Side of Manhattan, and to the South Lawn of the White House where we’ll set up a camp. Let’s see how that works out: And, if they behave wonderfully, that’s fine.” Sounding as if she were still on Red Eye rather than a real news show, Katherine sarcastically queried, “Was that kind of a joke? Was he kinda making a joke? It’s always hard to tell is why I don’t know why he makes jokes.  Very nice guy, but was he actually saying that we should send refugees to Martha’s Vineyard?…Even if he’s annoyed by the liberals, I don’t think that he should want terrorists there…Whenever he makes a joke…I’m always just sitting there like “Whah?”

Coming to the defense of her former colleague, Kimberly riposted, “You’re not getting a Christmas card from him for sure!” Defensively, Katherine replied, “I said [that] he was a nice guy, and I really do believe, but that doesn’t mean that you’re great at the, the jokes.” Cuttingly, Kimberly retorted, “That’s what you’re here for!”

But, Katherine’s contretemps were not yet over.

Later, in her very own segment, Katherine moderated a segment entitled, “Hillary Jokes on Campaign Trail: ‘I Don’t Have Horns.” When she turned to Juan about the former Secretary’s jest, he said that Hillary’s style, leadership, and background were the reason people like her. In response, Katherine exclaimed, “I don’t think anyone likes her: I don’t like her!…She’s a criminal….Usually, criminals are, at least, exciting. She’s a criminal and she’s boring: I would rather look at my hand than listen to her speak!”

When the camera panned from a seemingly clueless Katherine to an incredulous Dana, it caught Dana clenching her teeth, arching her eyebrows,  and clenching her arms tightly.

Apparently, trying to throw herself a lifeline, Katherine queried, “Kimberly, you know the Clintons, right?” Blushing and chuckling, Kimberly exclaimed, “Yes!”

Continuing apace, Katherine asked, “Is there anything you like about her, anything about her at all?” Nodding her head naughtily, Kimberly answered, “I like Bill!”

Chiming in mischievously, Eric Bolling chuckled, “He likes you!” Nodding, and reddening all the more, Kimberly responded, “He’s been very good to me. Yes, very nice!”

Changing topics quickly, Kimberly added, “Um, so, Hillary, you know, I’m not a big Hillary Clinton fan: It’s no secret, actually, but for very good reasons….She is not a candidate that I find to be trustworthy, that I find to be competent, or to have excelled in the areas of foreign policy and national security plus as a former prosecutor, I don’t like people who have a loose relationship with the truth and a total disregard and disdain for the laws of the land.”

Concurring, Katherine declared, “Right, and…she’s not even likable while she’s doing it: She’s also boring!”

Long flowing tresses, black hipster glasses, and a short black skirt on a blond beauty may be aesthetically pleasing at FNC: But, they do not an “FNC fox” make. Smarts and not-so-uncommon sense count, too. As WFB spins in his grave, Katherine, you may want to consult the National Review archives for a timely tutorial from that sage, prescient conservative icon on political commentary.

O’Reilly: “Midnight Tantaros”

December 16, 2015

Andrea: “Oh no. This nickname is gonna stick.” Outnumbered co-host Andrea Tantaros was given a rather racy sobriquet by FNC ratings champ Bill O’Reilly. After introducing O’Reilly as today’s #oneluckyguy, Andrea remarked, “You know, we, we were on the Factor at eight and eleven last night: You kept me up ’til midnight. I’m not sick of you yet but we’ll check in afterwards.” Smiling mischievously, O’Reilly replied, “Well, I, I have to tell everybody [that] Tantaros’s nickname is ‘Midnight Tantaros.’ So…she leaves the show and goes out to Bungalow 14 or whatever it is.”

Shaking her head with amusement, Andrea smilingly exclaimed, “I don’t know where he gets this stuff from! Midnight at the Tantaros! Alright!”

Of course, Andrea’s acolytes may well have a clue. Their Aphrodite is a saucy Greek goddess who has been named one of the “Hottest Women of Fox News” by the “King of All Media,” Howard Stern; was interviewed in Playboy (“Yes, I’m in Playboy this month…No photos tho. Sorry!”); and downed 22 shots on her twenty-first birthday–not to mention who also snagged bad boy Dave Navarro, Jane’s Addiction guitarist (and whilom Red Hot Chili Peppers member).

Yes, “Midnight Tantaros” fits sexy Andrea just right. After O’Reilly had aptly dubbed her, one of Andrea’s Tweeps Tweeted, “You know…Midnight just rolls off the tongue-not that you could be any sexier.” In answer, Andrea exclaimed, “Oh no. This nickname is gonna stick. I can feel it. Thanks @oreillyfactor.”

Thanks indeed, O’Reilly! “Midnight Tantaros”? “Red Hot”!

Surfer Girl: Anna’s “Beach” Bum

December 13, 2015

Lucky Ricky on cam! Flirty Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Anna Kooiman shows this morn why she is certainly earning her seat on the curvy couch. Even though she may not have been brave enough to ride the “hover board” on the show itself, she did Tweet her  very first ride on it afterwards. [Anna’s “1st time” vid.] As she gained confidence simple riding it down a F&FW hallway, the short-skirted siren transmogrified from F&FW co-host to sexy chanteuse and”danseuse,” sultrily singing the Beach Boys’ hit “Surfin’ Safari” and sensually dancing to the beat atop her “hover board.”

Then, Anna’s video ends–unfortunately. But, she did provide a clue to what was to come. Accompanying her Tweeted vid (which was filmed by F&FW meteorologist Rick Reichmuth, Anna wrote, “1st time on hover board! Taken before I busted my bum trying to dismount. @rickreichmuth on camera! @foxandfriends.”

Lucky Ricky! “Back to the Future”: Post F&FW‘s beloved Alisyn Camerota, Anna is beginning to create “vintage F&FW.” Now, Anna’s fans eagerly await the real “director’s cut,” i.e., the uncut version!

Huddy’s Rough Return to F&FW

December 9, 2015

Juliet: “I’d like to keep my job but trust me if they could read my mind…” Yow! Guest Fox & Friends Weekend guest co-host Juliet Huddy had a rather frosty reception Sunday morning in her return to the curvy couch. Subbing for sweet, smart, and sexy Southern F&FW co-anchor Anna Kooiman, Juliet brought her usual snarky, snide–yet sexy–take to the table. And, it was not as well received by her audience as she might like.

Before the show began, Juliet Tweeted, “You’re welcome to wake up early today and check me out on Fox News 6-10 am! (Sans the Fox5 crew…). When F&FW did begin, co-hosts Tucker Carlson and Clayton Morris welcomed her to the curvy couch: Joyfully, she responded, “Good to be back! Good to be back! Always good to be here!”

Alas, it was not to be.

During the show, Juliet oft cited her friends who had voted for the President twice and who said that they were tired of his saying what Islam is and what Islam wasn’t and of his talking about gun control and that they wanted to hear specifics about how he recognizes that the country is looking vulnerable. Some F&FW fans were not amused that “her friends” were Obama supporters and they assumed that she was as well. Of course, her support of the NSA may not have ingratiated her to them. [Re her sex life, Juliet racily chuckled, “Nobody cares what I’m doing with my boyfriend.”]*

Mid-show, Juliet seemed to have had it with her F&FW viewer critics. During an “Oval Office Address” discussion, Juliet declared, “Well, you know, I have to say as I was saying earlier, a couple of my friends who were Obama supporters, who voted for him.” Glaring at the camera, she sniped, “Yes, and I do have friends who voted for Obama!” Turning to Clayton, she snarled, “I’m getting lots of Tweets, little nasty Tweets!”

One sympathetic Tweep wrote, “Idiots woke up early today. We have your back, Juliet.”

In response, an angry Juliet exclaimed, “I’d like to keep my job but trust me if they could read my mind… (with angry devil emoji).”

As the final hour drew to a close, Juliet dug herself in deeper in the eyes of her critics when she seemed to go to bat for writer Linda Stasi of the the NY Daily News.* In discussing the latest  Daily News controversy, Tucker asked, “Why is that a certain sort of person looks at a terrorist shooting like this and immediately blames the victims, that is, normal Americans.”

Putting her hand up as in protest, Juliet remarked, “I didn’t take it, I didn’t it as she was blaming this guy.” As Tucker guffawed in derision, Juliet continued, “Hold on! Here’s what I took it as. I, I felt like she was saying, ‘This guy was so kind of  extreme in his views, and he was always kind of talking about them. He was always just spewing them out there that, maybe, this was something that raised the ire of this psychopath that ended up going and killing people.”

Chiming in aptly, Clayton replied, “But, but, wait! But, but, no, the point is she says “thirteen innocent” victims have died. So, she made a point to say that she’s not innocent.”

Finally, coming to her senses, Juliet answered, “Not innocent which is, which is I think you and I have a problem. I agree.”

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 12/06/15 (@ 7:08 a.m ET).

**Ibid at 9:47 a.m. ET.