Steely Dan-ica Patrick

Today on America’s Newsroom, Danica Patrick, IndyCar’s first female winner and Sports Illustrated model, showed why she is GoDaddy.com’s prized possession. When AN co-anchor Bill Hemmer hammered her with questions about whether she would join the IndyCar circuit full-time, there was no beating around the bush with her. Although a tad exasperated, she patiently answered his queries and then got the interview back on track.

When Hemmer finally mentioned her historical Indy Japan 300 victory (first female Indycar winner), he asked, “What is it like to compete in a man’s sport?” Picking up her man-eating persona, Danica declared, “I don’t know any different: You know, it’s how I grew up. I grew up with a bunch of boys in Go-Karting, and now I’m with a bunch of men in Indycars.” She added, “I enjoy it, actually. Men think simple. You guys are easy and obvious….Whatever is on you mind is what you’re thinking. Whatever is obvious.”

Subsequently, Hemmer queried Danica about her GoDaddy-sponsored IZOD IndyCar Series car. Seamlessly seguing into her role as GoDaddy.com spokesmodel, she pointed to its phallic-shaped nose and purred,”You got to start from the front because I have…a chrome horn or chrome nose. I’m hoping it’s filled with, like, something really solid and. Then she racily added, “Never mind! I won’t go there. But, yeah, we’re all GoDaddy now.”

Yes, it’s Steely Danica and her car. It’s name? Chromy Dan-ica, perhaps. She can certainly crush the men on the field and off.

Been reading Burroughs‘ Naked Lunch lately, Danica?

Kiran: Let’s Get Physical

American Morning co-host Kiran Chetry was feeling rather earthy this early morn. As AM returned from commercial to the soft, spiritual strains of Cat Stevens’ “Morning Has Broken,” Kiran complained, “I just want to say thanks. As if we’re weren’t depressed enough: it’s a Monday morning. Why are we playing this song?” She added, “I mean, couldn’t we, at least, play that little “Baby, Baby, It’s a Wild World one by him? Gosh! Anyway.”

As she then segued to meteorologist Rob Marciano, she joked, “I understand this was a request from Rob Marciano. He requested this song. It’s one of his favorites.” Good-naturedly, Rob retorted, “I didn’t request that.” When the AM beefcake playboy‘s report concluded, Kiran risquely remarked, “Listen, if we had one more hour, we would play your other request by Engelbert Humperdinck (assumably, ‘Come Spend the Morning‘).”* As Rob beamed broadly and co-host Joe Johns roared with laughter, Kiran laughed, “Alas, alas, we are out of time.”

A.M.: Amorous Marciano?

*[For the reader unfamiliar with Humperdinck’s song, one lusty lyric reads “Long-legged, open-eyed, satisfied woman, come spend the morning with me.”]

F&FW: Deja Vu

Former Fox & Friends Weekend headlines reporter Courtney Friel returned to the show Saturday to the delight of her admirers and the discomfit of her detractors. In the final fifteen minutes of the program, the blond beauty reviewed Thanksgiving weekend movies with co-anchors Dave Briggs and Clayton Morris. Then in the final segment, it was F&FW deja vu.

There sat Courtney on the curvy couch with the crew, Dave, Clayton, Rick Reichmuth, and Alisyn Camerota. The salient differences: she was no longer in the retinue of F&FW’s queen, and it was a different queen. (Aly had regained her throne from Ainsley Earhardt.) Recognizing the new reality, Courtney paid the new ruler homage by aping but not rivaling Aly’s regal garb: she wore a very similar beautiful burnt-red dress with decolletage and long-sleeves yet with a longer, less flattering hemline.

As the proverbial credits began to roll, Courtney waved a hopeful goodbye. A hint that FNC Senior VP of Programming Bill Shine is ending his “one-girl” F&F policy? Be she Courtney or another Fox News femme, let us hope so.

Clayton’s Chyron: “Mile-High” Mystery

Naughty Northwest pilots? If the viewer was too riveted to Fox & Friends Weekend co-anchor Clayton Morris this morning, one might have missed what he seemed to really say. Or, in this case, didn’t say. Especially, if her eyes did not glance down upon the “telling” banner at the bottom of the screen.

In Clayton’s preview of an upcoming segment on the Northwest pilots who missed their Minneapolis landing strip by 150 miles, he asked, “What exactly was distracting them, and, do we really want to know?” Co-host Alisyn Camerota guffawed loudly, and co-anchor Dave Briggs animatedly answered, “Yes!”

During the segment itself, audio transmissions between the pilots and traffic controllers were aired. After listening to the pilots refuse to fully elaborate as to the nature of the cockpit distractions that got them off course, Aly opined, “They are covering some rear ends.” Clayton commented, “They did go on to say… [that they talked about] company issues…crew restructuring.” Dave declared, “You can’t tell me that they were that concerned by these [sic] scheduling program that they forgot about the 150 people behind them. Overtly, the trio said little more: However, a suggestive chyron proclaimed, “Mile-High Distraction: Audio of Runway Overshoot Released.”

[For viewers of Live Desk or Studio B with Shepard Smith, this banner repeated speculation a month old. For the bawdy banter between Shep and LD’s co-anchor, Trace Gallagher and Martha MacCallum, and Shep, cf. Carpe Diem’s “Shep: ‘Mile-High Club Pilots?“

Rick’s Cooking: Sub Rosa Comment

Something spicy was cooking this morning on Fox & Friends Weekend, and it was not just the turkey leftovers. In Rick Reichmuth’s “Talking Turkey” segment with Chef Alex Guarnaschelli (host of Alex’s Day Off on the Food Network), Alex complimented Rick’s skills in the kitchen. When she  asked him to spoon the hash he was mixing into her pan with frying eggs, she exclaimed, “Oh, fantastic! Look at you! I think you have a future. I think you have a calling. Let me know if you ever need a new gig, you know.”

Joking, Rick rejoined, “I very well might.” Off camera, someone jested something unintelligible to the audience but heard by both Rick and Alex. When Rick laughed heartily in response, Alex, apparently, abashed with arched eyebrows and a raised palm, asserted, “I’m not going to touch that one. I’m just here to cook eggs and talk about leftovers.” Rick chuckled knowingly.

As Amy Vanderbilt might say, “It’s not polite to whisper.” Sub rosa Rick, care to share?

*Fox & Friends Weekend (11/28/09) – @7:42 a.m. ET

Romans’ Riddle

Christine: “Penguin” pet or black widow? American Morning guest co-host Christine Romans let her audience know that Thanksgiving Day was over and done with. Dressed in black from head to toe, the biz whiz beauty sternly warned her attentive audience today not to shop on historically the year’s busiest day unless they had the money. And not only that, the pretty pedant rapped the knuckles of any of her wayward followers that dared step out of line.

In fact, Christine seemed somewhat loathe to cede a scintilla of control or to admit to the faintest of foibles. E.g., one “clueless” Canadian chap Tweeted that she had dressed appropriately for the Black Saturday and looked like a penguin. With more than a hint of sarcasm, Christine sniped, “penguin? really george? there’s no white. gee i always love fashion advice.” Completely chastened, he responded, “the whites of your great smile! you look great by the way and it’s nice to see you in the hosting chair on AM, great job!”

Yes, the author, too, got a bit of Christine’s piqued peck. Yesterday, he had the temerity to tease her yesterday for confiding to John Roberts one day that her mother was actually cooking the Thanksgiving turkey and then telling Joe Johns the next day that she herself would. Today, she peevishly replied, “oh jeesh. i bought turkey, thawed it and spiced it and put it in the roaster. mom took over then while i made pies. hubby carved it.” Perhaps, she was goaded into showing that a country girl from Iowa could cook or she just adventitiously altered her plans and did so. Nevertheless, her aunt Margie has yet to confirm her account.*

Penguin? No, Christine is not a flightless fowl but she is a pretty bird that soars on AM. Black widow? No, she bites but her hubby Ed Tobin survived. (Christine and Ed have two children.) However, she seems as if she could indeed be a delightfully dangerous man killer.

*As AM’s penultimate block opened with a shot of the Windy City, Christine commented, “Ah, my family in Chicago. She continued, “I had Thanksgiving yesterday at Pat and Margie’s house….I give a shout-out to Aunt Margie.”

http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0604/25/ldt.01.html

Single F&F Female

Is that all it takes? If viewers enjoyed Fox & Friends yesterday a little more than usual, they may be asking themselves, “Why?” Perhaps, it is because FNC which proudly embraces the “Fox” in its name was forced to be less miserly in meting them out. With co-anchor Gretchen Carlson in Florida interviewing former gov Sarah Palin, FNC Senior VP of Programming was “forced” to add a second main femme, Alisyn Camerota, to the almost “all boy” club at F&F.

It was a refreshing return to better days when both Aly and Gretchen graced the show daily. The audience was reminded of the time when F&F, weekday and weekend, was more gender proportionate. Then Shine had not yet replaced F&FW’s Ainsley Earhardt with Aly and, subsequently, pared the prominent position of newsreader (which had been aptly held by a female to help balance the second lad on the F&F curvy couch). It was before there was just one girl Gretchen to the duo of F&F boys, Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade and only one lass, Aly, to the F&FW trio of lads, Clayton Morris, Dave Briggs, and Rick Reichmuth.

Bill, a bit more sex parity, please. It’s time to make it Foxes and Friends once again!

Christine’s Turkey: Baloney?

Instead of Thanksgiving turkey, American Morning guest co-host Christine Romans appeared to serve up some baloney to her viewers this morning. As the show opened, fill-in co-host Joe Johns asked, “Do you have your turkey all cooked and ready to go?” Christine answered, “It’s not cooked: it’s thawing as we speak.” Unfortunately, she did not stop there.

Christine continued, “I’m waiting til we get home and then I’m starting to cook it.” Yesterday, when co-anchor John Roberts was giving Christine turkey cooking advice, she admitted that her mother was actually doing the cooking.

Tsk, tsk, Christine! I hope that your mom was not watching this morning. However, just hope she doesn’t have it on DVR!

Zhu Zhu: “Pig,” “Master,” or Both

According to CNN‘s American Morning and the NYT, the cheap, cute Zhu Zhu hamster made in China is the “hottest toy” this holiday season. In fact, American parents are scrambling nationwide to get the popular toy for their little ones in time for Christmas. According to the American toymaker’s founder Russell Hornsby, “zhu zhu” denotes “little pig”: However, babynamescountry.com says that the name “Zhu” means “master or owner.”

Perhaps, Zhu Zhu means both “little pig” and “master master.” If so, it would be a propos. I.e., if American consumers continue to be “little pigs” in their purchases of such Chinese imports (vis-a-vis Chinese consumption of U.S. exports) and America continues to borrow money from China at an ungodly rate, China may well become the “master master.” As Solomon sagely said, “[T]he borrower is servant to the lender.” [Proverbs 22:7] This truth is beginning to sink in for the American people as they see values that their leaders had once clarionly championed, e.g., freedom of religion, human rights, etc., get shorter and shorter shrift in American/Chinese dialogue in tandem with the increase in American indebtedness.

However, even if “Zhu Zhu” merely means “little pigs” as a euphemistic moniker for hamsters as it most probably does, it would do well to remember its other possible meanings. Whether it be a Chinese dig or an ironic name, either (or, in fact, both) can be instructive for Americans and their children as they celebrate this special season and plan for another economically challenging year.

Carlson: Senator Landrieu “Bribed”

This morning Fox & Friends co-anchor Gretchen Carlson made an incredibly inflammatory accusation against Senator Landrieu of Louisiana: Bribery. Yes, you read right. Bribery!

Carlson asserted, “There is a lot of bribing going on, specifically, in the state of Louisiana for Senator Mary Landrieu.” She explained, “Why? Because, apparently, [Senate Majority Leader] Harry Reid was able to get her $300 million to help fix up stuff from Hurricane Katrina. And, that is what bought her the vote, or, bought him, the vote. By giving her $300 million of pork, she then decided to vote for health care reform for his bill.” Carlson continued, “And a lot of people this morning are saying, ‘Yeah, we know these kind of political things happen all the time on Capitol Hill.’ But, for health care reform, something that’s this serious to this country, should we allowing these kind of bribes for votes?”*

Even with that caveat, from this Louisiana author’s perspective, Carlson’s rhetoric bordered on the reckless. When one uses the term bribery in the same breath as a public official, the listener often envisions its primary dictionary denotation. E.g., the first definition in Webster’s Third International Dictionary is “A price, reward, gift, or favor bestowed or promised with a view to pervert the judgment or corrupt the conduct esp. of a person in a position of trust (as a public official). In that context, “bribery” is a serious offense and a federal crime.

While “bribery” has a secondary sense, a more benign definition, i.e., an inducement to grant a favor, it does not resound as resonantly in the listener’s ear. Obviously, any Senator or Representative would be “guilty” of this “crime.” As any politico worth his/her salt knows, such wheeling and dealing is de rigueur in the legislative process on both the state and federal level.

Landrieu’s “deal” has been derisively dubbed, perhaps, aptly, the Louisiana Purchase by opponents of the Democratic bill. However, to go one step further and use the incendiary term “bribery” seems clearly over the line. Especially, for one employed by the “Fair and Balanced” news network.

*Fox & Friends (11/23/09) – @8:02 a.m. ET

“Cougar” Carlson: Saved by the Bell?

Rowrrr! With baby-faced beefcake “Extra” weekday host Mario Lopez on the Fox & Friends curvy couch, co-anchor Gretchen Carlson appeared ready to pounce. Thoughts of her very own “Saved by the Bell” boy toy seemed to permeate the atmosphere as she and her co-host, Brian Kilmeade and Steve Doocy, interviewed Lopez and even into the show’s subsequent block.

Before the segment, Brian gave his sportscast and named Minnesota Viking quarterback “forty-year old Brett Favre” as his choice as his weekly “Brian’s Best Player.” In an aside, he joked, “Hey, forty-year olds get off the couch, put on a uniform and the eye black. You can still play!” Before he segued to Lopez’ interview, the forty-three old Gretchen groused, “You make Favre and forties sound like it’s ancient.” Brian deadpanned, “it’s very old.”

During Lopez’ interview, Brian asked, “Am I right [that] you were never a dancer until you gave it a shot on Dancing with the Stars [2006].” After Lopez said that he had not danced since he was a child of five or six, Gretchen racily remarked, “Well, let me just tell you, you still have the moves!”

Later, when the F&F producers put up a pic of Lopez donning ladies’ lingerie, a Merry Widow variant, for FOX’s Nip/Tuck series, Gretchen oohed, “Aww, man! She suggestively added, “I understand the inside story on this was that you didn’t like the way your feet looked in the shoes but that some people liked your butt.” Reddening, Lopez asked, “Wait, what inside story is that?” Before she could answer, Brian interjected, “Yeah, what is going on, Gretchen? What are your sources?” Undeterred, Gretchen continued, “That’s what I read. I read the chicks are envious of your butt.” Apparently, rather ready to move on, Lopez deflectively declared, “I did not know that but…I was surprised they found heels…for a size eleven shoe.”

However, in the very next block, Gretchen was still purring. As she and Steve discussed mammogram and self-exams in a health care segment with Dr. Mehmet Oz (the host of the Dr. Oz Show” jested, “By the way, Mario Lopez is back in the green room trying to learn from me how to examine breasts.” Randily, Gretchen exclaimed, “I think he knows!” Finally, as the segment concluded, Gretchen lustily eyed the camera and cooed, “I’m not kidding, ladies.”

Ainz May Freeze Her Eggs

Fox and Friends Weekend guest co-host Ainsley Earhardt may not have any children yet but she certainly seems more than willing to try. In a segment on a New York doctor’s innovation to allow women to have children later in life, Ainsley discussed with her co-hosts Dave Briggs and Clayton Morris her childless state and how she might remedy her situation in the future.

Earlier, the three co-anchors conversed about in vitro fertilization and older women’s growing prospects of birthing babies. Dave declared, “The question…when is it too old to have your eggs frozen? When is it too old to give birth to children?” To which, Ainsley then replied, “Freezing the eggs, I have friends that are doing this…in their late thirties, their early forties. They’re freezing their eggs because they’re not married yet.” Co-anchor Clayton Morris interjected, “Fertility drops after forty years old.” “Exactly,” responded Ainsley. She continued, “So when they’re ready to use these eggs, then they’re available. It’s very expensive, though: I want to say its like $20,000 a pop.”

Wisely, Dave said, “As a man, I have a hard time telling a woman when it’s too old to have children. Clayton agreed but added, “At some point, it becomes about you rather than the children.” Dave declared, “But, these women in their mid-to late-forties, I say go for it.”

Ringless, Ainsley responded, “I agree. Hey! I’m not going to knock it ’cause…I’m no spring chicken and I don’t have kids. If I get to be forty years old and I don’t have my kids, then, yeah, I might consider freezing my eggs. We’ll see.”

Chuckling, Clayton jested, “Please keep us updated on that.” Smiling abashedly, Ainsley answered, “I will: I’ll let you know.” Dave chimed, “Yeah, please do!”

Ainsley’s new favorite song? Ice, Ice, Baby!

Sisterhood of the Traveling Panties?

The sisterhood of the former Fox & Friends Weekend co-hosts Kiran Chetry and Alisyn Camerota appears to still be going strong. They may not have bought pants from a thrift store that will help them stay together as they thrive on separate cable news networks but they seem to have found some granny panties that will. Or are they something else?

Friday the “traveling panties” showed up on Kiran Chetry, the co-host of CNN’s American Morning. As the Nepalese lovely interviewed New York Times media reporter Brian Stelter on Oprah’s post-broadcast future, her charcoal skirt inched upward to reveal a rather snug black undergarment. Granny panties?  Perhaps. But possibly something else. As the faithful AM viewer will recall, Kiran revealed that she was wearing her “emergency biking shorts” under her skirt the day that Richard Simmons had a sudden urge to literally kiss her foot.

By Saturday, Kiran seemed to have sent her hubby Chris to personally deliver the magical netherwear to Aly at the now verboten F&FW studio. Beginning in the show’s first segment, the granny panties (or “emergency biking pants”) peeked out from underneath Aly’s red dress. When they did, they seemed to take on a pinkish hue in a futile attempt to go unnoticed.

Regardless of the nature of the lingerie, Kiran and Aly appear to be at one. Perhaps, they can help their respective audiences cross the political aisle as well. Of course, for their male admirers, it might be easier if there were less fabric involved.

Clayton: History Buff or Bluff?

As loyal Fox & Friends Weekend fans know, co-anchor Clayton Morris fashions himself a history buff. However, today he appeared to be more the dilettante of the American narrative in an F&FW interview of Governor Mike Huckabee. During that segment (on Obama’s hinting that he might not run again in 2012), Clayton asked about one-term President Gerald Ford.

Clayton commented, “Let’s talk about Gerald Ford for a second from a history perspective because I’m fascinated by that moment.” (Perhaps, he should not have.) Confounded,  Clayton disjointedly declared, “He ran but he knew by pardoning Nixon, by taking some of those bullets. And, of course, famously even featured in Profiles in Courage, you know, the Kennedy book later for having courage to stand up and take sort of a bullet for the country as a result of the Nixon impeachment proceedings. Is that what President Obama is saying here?”*

In the past, Clayton has confused  the nineteenth century caning of a would-be assassin by our seventh President “Old Hickory,” Andrew Jackson, with the beating of Senator Charles Sumner by Rep. Preston Brooks more than two decades later. Such an error about the arcane Congressional record is one thing. However, not remembering President Gerald Ford’s 1974 pardon of the disgraced Richard M. Nixon occurred almost twenty years after President John F. Kennedy penned his 1955 Profiles in Courage is another altogether. [N.B. Gerald Ford did receive the 2001 John F. Kennedy Profile in Courage award (named after JFK’s book) for his pardon of Nixon.]

The dangers of being a self-dubbed “buff”! In the future, Clayton may well want to consult the country’s chronicles before opining on its past beyond the current news cycle. The author does not doubt that he will learn from another of his avocations and get better with age.

*Fox & Friends (11/21/09) – @8:49 a.m. ET

F&FW Guest: Obama’s “Mussolini Pose”

An allusion too far? Lt. Col. Ralph Peters (ret), FNC strategic analyst, was as outspoken and controversial as ever this morning on Fox & Friends Weekend. When F&FW co-anchor Dave Briggs asked the author of the War after Armageddon what Americans obtained from President Obama’s trip to Asia and the “deference that he is showing all these countries around the world,” Peters did not hold back.

Brusquely, Peters replied, “The answer is nowhere.” He added, “We have a runaway President. He doesn’t seem to like to be in the Oval Office facing tough decisions….[He] thrives on applause: He’s hooked on it.” Then going for the proverbial jugular, he continued, “He loves to go abroad and, you know, lift his jaw in that sort of Mussolini pose he does and stir us with his rhetoric. But, there are no results.”*

Wow! If Peters did not go over the edge in comparing Obama’s oratorical carriage to that of Italian Fascist leader Benito Mussolini, he certainly skated right up to it. Had he likened Obama’s rhetorical skills to Mussolini’s German Axis partner, would there be any doubt?

*Fox & Friends Weekend (11/21/09) – @7:48 a.m. ET

Aly: Ailes’ New Bunny

With his Energizer bunny Megyn Kelly away on maternity leave, Roger Ailes seems to have picked Alisyn Camerota to fill in the void. Not only did Aly perform her duties on Fox & Friends Weekend last weekend but she also guest-hosted on American’s Newsroom this week and subbed as a Cultural Warrior on the O’Reilly Factor last night. According to her AN co-anchor Bill Hemmer, Aly will be on F&F as usual this weekend. Ailes has definitely upped her profile.

Today one began to wonder if FNC was trying to put a too serious newsperson spin on Aly. Instead of AN’s customary full-figure views as the show begins each hour, the cameraperson cropped Ms. Camerota from the waist up basically. Apparently, someone called the offending producer to account toward the end of the show: After 100 minutes without any real stem shots, the camera captured three in the last twenty minutes.

Aly: a real FNC journalist and a busy Ailes bunny to boot.

Gretchen: 2 “Close” 4 Comfort?

“Get off our golden boy’s case” seemed to be the message Fox & Friends co-host Gretchen Carlson had this morning for her colleague Brian Kilmeade this morning as he sported about the highly prized client of sports agent and hubby, Casey Close. After Brian’s first sports segment at the blue wall, he went back to the curvy couch and asked to “go off script just a little bit.”* Thereafter, he began to express sympathy for a certain someone in the news who was “going through a tough time.”

However, when he named the “poor chap” as New York Yankee star Derek Jeter and showed the New York Post cover pic of him cavorting with his gorgeous girlfriend actress Minka Kelly on the beach at St. Barts, Gretchen seemed slightly chafed. As Brian “encouraged” the 2009 World Series champion marooned on the isle with his bikini babe that things would get better, Gretchen shook her head, smirked, and crossed her arms tightly against her chest. Appearing more than a moit agitated with Brian’s puckish play, she put her right  forefinger to her temple as if she had a headache and snugly wrapped her left arm defensively around her waist.

When Brian finally finished his elfin tomfoolery,  a relieved Gretchen leaned forward, looked straight ahead, and placed her hands more comfortably in her lap. While co-anchor Steve Doocy introduced the next story, Brian turned to Gretchen and smiled impishly. Like an annoyed school teacher, Gretch gave him the eye for a moment and then looked away with a slight air of irritation.

F&F: NSFSC (Not Safe for Sacred Cows)

* Fox & Friends (11/19/09) – @6:36 a.m. ET

Kiran: Pumpkin Princess

“34D”: another memorable AM mammary moment! After an airline delay report and a baby panda story, American Morning co-anchor John Roberts opined, “Every time you see a panda, you can’t help but feel good about life.” Kiran replied, “That’s right. They should actually start showing those pandas in all the screens if you’re stuck on the tarmac there…from seat 1A to all the way back down to like 34D.”*

Catching herself a tad too late, Kiran giggled, “Oops! 34D. Anyway.” Interjecting rather randily, meteorologist Rob Marciano remarked, “Spreading the happiness.” Readily, Kiran racily replied, “That’s right. Spreading the love.”

Then as she mischievously turned to her co-anchor John Roberts, John struggled to maintain his composure. He shook his head, smiled broadly and saltily added, “I never sat in that seat.” Saucily tilting her head, Kiran responded, “Me either.”

Looking toward the producer, John asked, “Okay, should we just go to break, or should we actually? No, okay, let’s do the tease.” As he read, “Alright, confusion over the mammogram guidelines, our Dr. Gupta,” Kiran simply looked down and abashedly laughed. Chuckling, John commented, “You just can’t make these things up.”

No, you can’t. In fact, as the segment ended and the camera began to fade, John’s eyes immediately gravitated to Kiran’s ample melons. Gazing appreciatively, he aptly added, “I’m as red as your dress.”

Even after Halloween, the pumpkin princess reigns supreme.

*American Morning – @8:53 a.m. ET

Palin: Was the AMFix In?

Even if she was on Oprah, SARAH PALIN WILL NOT BE PRESIDENT! American Morning viewer, if you did not get the message in the first hour, it was repeated in a less than subliminal fashion throughout the next two hours. Before each of its three Sarah Palin segments (two by Carol Costello and another by Christine Romans), a clip of Conan O’Brien’s monologue on the Tonight Show was run.

[In the selected snippet, Conan joked, “The other day Sarah Palin said that she would like to have coffee with Hillary Clinton. Now, Hillary is saying she looks forward to it. The two have agreed to meet at the Never Will Be President Cafe.”]

If the Palin slights had stopped at Conan’s comedy, they would have seemed insignificant. However, Carol’s “Palin vs. Oprah” story (which ran twice) seemed to go over the top to discount Palin’s appearance on the talk show queen’s program yesterday. In the promo to Carol’s segment, AM co-host Kiran Chetry had said, “It was Sarah Palin and Oprah: Very interesting, very interesting sit-down interview. And, we’re gonna have Carol Costello join us: she sat down with Libertarians, Independents, Democrats, and Republican women, and said, ‘Hey, what did you think?” However, when Carol appeared after the break, she remarked, “I sat down with four very sharp women, and you know what they thought of the interview? Boring!”

Then she said, “I talked with these four women, a Republican, a Libertarian, a Conservative, and an Independent to watch [sic] Palin vs. Oprah. We chose not to talk to a Democrat because Sarah Palin doesn’t seem to be trying to win over Democrats.” More telling, and, perhaps, a bit damning, she added, “Let’s face it: We know what Democrats think of Sarah Palin.” (She failed to note that according to most polls, approximately 80% of the media votes Democratic.)

Furthermore, Carol did not tell the  viewer how these four women in the focus group were chosen nor their particular political proclivities. E.g., she did not apprise the audience that the Independent Leighann Lord, who claimed that Palin had “almost trivialized the serious decision of abortion,” has been a pro-Obama HuffPo blogger. Moreover, Carol’s other three panelists appeared to be coastal “country club” Republicans at best: one (Jamie Maarten) was an Ivy League Libertarian prez who proclaimed that Palin “was well-spoken” (but cattily added “she did look nice but I feel it stops there”); the second (Marianna Picciocchi) was a “conservative” attorney who asserted that the interview was “boring” and later admitted that her friends, “of course, are all liberal”; and the third (Joyce Giuffra) was a former press secretary of failed GOP nominee Bob Dole, who indicated that she would not be buying the book but clairvoyantly discerned that “supposedly in a 432-page book, only 13 pages were dedicated to policy issues.” Incredibly, Carol stated that these women wanted “substance” [political]–from an Oprah interview. (Perhaps, they prefer their news from Oxygen as well.)

This segment should be an embarrassment to correspondent Carol Costello, American Morning, and, by extension CNN. Perhaps, AM executive producer Jamie Kraft did not get the memo from CNN news chief Jonathan Klein. According to the New York Post, Klein wants CNN “to position itself as an opinion-free, middle-of-the-road alternative to its cable news rivals — conservative Fox News and liberal MSNBC.”

American Morning should have followed Klein’s admonition and played it down the middle. AM is a good show with excellent anchors and gifted correspondents. Its viewers deserved better today. Hopefully, they will get it tomorrow and in the future.

Brian: Lou, Do It!

Fox & Friends put out the Fox News  welcome mat anew for former CNN anchor Lou Dobbs this morning. After discussing Dobbs’ interview with Bill O’Reilly last night with his co-hosts Gretchen Carlson and Brian Kilmeade, Steve Doocy declared, “Also, what’s interesting is Bill O’Reilly on the [Dobbs’] way out the door said, ‘Hey! You want to stop by from time to time?’ So he [Dobbs] said, ‘Yes, he would become kind of a semi-regular on the O’Reilly Factor.” Brian jested, “Usually, he [O’Reilly] just offers them the O’Reilly home game so this was a definite exit package that he [Dobbs] should take advantage of.”

From Dobbs’ acceptance last night of O’Reilly’s offer, it appears that he will indeed. Perhaps, much more.