Archive for July, 2009

Obama’s Beer Bust

July 31, 2009

What was President Obama thinking? His “Import” Beer Summit looked like an effeminate British lawn party. Instead of quaffing brews in frosted mugs, they should have been sipping tea in demitasse cups and playing croquet or badminton thereafter in their get-up. It was embarrassing to watch.

The cop and the prof wore their prim and proper suits and the similarly attired Prez and Veep merely doffed their coats as they sat stiffly around a white yard table. Their waiter appeared to be a Secret Service man playing gofer. It was simply horrific!

It makes one pine for the days when President Clinton serendipitously found pebbles on the Normandy beach and formed a cross in memory of those who had lost their lives there. Who is Obama’s p.r. person? Is he/she the same one who advocated flying Air Force One over New York City for a promo without telling anyone? Please!

Aly Jazzes Judge

July 31, 2009

Aly’s on. And the Judge was, apparently, turned on. After his legal segment with Fox & Friends co-hosts Alisyn Camerota and Brian Kilmeade, FNC’s senior judicial analyst Judge Andrew Napolitano turned to Aly with delight. Then, running his hand the length of her bare biceps, he declared, “What a pleasant surprise to see you, Miss Camerota!”

Turning to his flirting FNC colleague and radio co-host, Brian Kilmeade jested, “Please don’t touch her!” Pointing to Aly, the Judge remarked, “Italian Jersey beauty!” Beaming, Aly replied, “All here.”

However, the Judge was not done quite yet. After the subsequent teases for upcoming segments, he eagerly took her hand and robustly kissed it. No abashment for his ardor for Aly.

You’re right, Judge. Aly today: what a pleasant surprise indeed!

Zain’s “Nice Melons” Remembered

July 30, 2009

Yesterday American Morning co-anchor John Roberts had fond memories of CNN reporter Zain Verjee’s ample melons in the fresh produce department over a year ago (as memorialized by Jon Stewart’s Daily Show)*. As John introduced a segment with CNN correspondent Ed Henry who was similarly situated in a Bristol, VA, Krogers before Obama’s healthcare meeting, John and guest host Carol Costello could not repress a knowing hearty chuckle about Kyra Phillips’ naughty aside to Zain.

As Ed’s report ended, John was a bit more forthcoming. Trying to keep a straight face, John asked, “What about melons, Ed? Do they have any melons there?” Then he laughed lustily. Ed replied, “You know, John, I just don’t want to go there. Just can’t go there.” John responded, “We need Zain Verjee to do that part of the story.”

To the audience, Carol commented, “Inside American Morning joke but, boy, was it funny!” John added, “It hearkens back to a year ago actually.” For the rest of the story, see Carpe Diem’s “Kyra: ‘Nice Melons.'”**



Dave Clams Up

July 30, 2009

Fox & Friends Weekend co-anchor Dave Briggs seems to have something stuck in his craw lately. Other than monologic Tweets, the friendly sports guy who in the past has frequently responded to his Twitter followers has seemingly gone mute for almost the last three weeks.* Perhaps, the FNC brass has dressed him down the same way that it did to his former F&FW colleague, Ainsley Earhardt.**

After her reprimand as to certain communications with viewers, Ainsley said, “I’m not doing it  any more:*** If Dave follows Ainsley’s over-reaction, he will find himself ill-served. He needs to remember that Ainz was axed and was subsequently replaced with fan-friendly co-host Alisyn Camerota. Furthermore, Dave should realize that F&FW fans are often like family: Sometimes, a poke in the rib is an affectionate jab.

Dave, your thick-skinned friend and co-anchor, FNC Twitter king Clayton Morris may not be such a bad role model. Get back in the game!




Domenica’s Bosom Mike

July 29, 2009

FNC meteorologist Domenica Davis shared a rather intimate weather report today on Happening Now.  To set the stage: the Italian delight was having trouble throughout her segment being heard over the static as an ill-attached microphone rubbed against her.  When she began to conclude her report, her “irascible” mike gave her an even harder time: it took that plunge. Yes, deep into her cleavage.*

When it did, Domenica looked down at her bosom, abashedly tried to button her blouse, and softly exclaimed, “Oops!” HN guest co-host Gregg Jarrett said, “Nice sound effects, Domenica.” Giggling, HN co-anchor Jane Skinner saucily asked, “Where did it go?” Rolling his eyes, Gregg rejoined, “I think  Domenica lost that little lavalier microphone down some place.” Jane pertly responded, “Wouldn’t you like to know?” Gregg admitted, “Yeah, and added, “Now, I’m paying attention!”


Update: No problem, J$P. Thanks for the vid.**

*Happening Now (07/29/09) – 11:33 a.m. ET


Megyn’s Prime Time Ego?

July 29, 2009

America’s Newsroom co-host Megyn Kelly has not only a turgid tummy but also, apparently, an ego to match. Prime time on her mind?

Today after a Michael-Jackson-death story with former LAPD detective Mark Furman and an intervening segment, Megyn displayed an NYPD shirt and said, “Let’s just show them [viewers] what we’re doing. Mark [Furman] is still here…and his wife’s name is Kelly. And he has gotten [sic] Sean Hannity and me to sign a shirt for his wife Kelly.* What a sweet husband [Mark] you are!

Seemingly surprised by Megyn’s remark, Mark meekly replied, “Ah! Thank you.” Megyn laughed, “He didn’t ask for you, Bill.” When Hemmer retorted, “Oh, that’s okay,” Megyn answered, “Just kidding: we’re gonna do that next.”

Despite Megyn’s follow-up response, her first one sounded more sincere. And, pregnant with meaning. Perhaps, she deems herself more than ready to follow Sean into the prime time line-up and give birth to her own show if and when Greta van Susteren’s contract is not renewed.

*Sean Hannity’s autograph declared “To Kelly A “Great American” Sean Hannity,” whereas Megyn’s  proclaimed, “Kelly’s Rule! You go girl–xoxo Megyn Kelly.”


Kiran Kisses Fans Goodbye

July 29, 2009

Yesterday American Morning co-host Kiran Chetry kissed her fans a fond farewell. As co-anchor John Roberts said, “Thanks for joining us on the most news in the morning,” a smiling Kiran puckered her lips and sent her audience an audible buss across the airwaves.* A subliminal goodbye? Perhaps.

Nevertheless, fear not, fellows: It was not final! During the show, she Tweeted, “Wanted to let you guys know. I’m going on vac tomorrow! Will be back next Tuesday. A little beach, a little sun, a little r & r.”** If her AM viewers are lucky, the Nepalese beauty will file an iReport of her having fun in the sun.

Have a great vacation, Kiran: You deserve it!

*AM (07/28/09) – 8:04 a.m. ET


Dave: I’m Not That Indolent

July 28, 2009

Having explained away his missing wedding ring away earlier last Saturday,* Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Dave Briggs decided to clear up another misconception, i.e., that he was the pampered “princess”** that he had portrayed himself to be early in his stint at F&FW.”*** Rather, he was a proud member of the hoi polloi.

During a minimum-wage-increase story (mentioning tip wages staying the same) read by co-anchor Alisyn Camerota, Dave interjected, “$2.13.” Aly continued, “That’s what I was making as a waitress back then.” Dave replied, “Me, too. Ten years ago.”

Appearing to not believe his ears, co-anchor Clayton Morris commented, “Wait a minute. I just heard something that I don’t believe I’ve ever heard before. You were a waiter?” Dave answered, “Absolutely. I was a waiter for many years. I know that you guys think that I never worked before I arrived here on this couch.” Aptly, Aly replied, “Right.” After Dave iterated his long work experience as a waiter, dubiously, Aly asked, “Where? Where? Name the restaurant.”

Dave responded, “There were two restaurants. One is a local restaurant and the other is gonna conjure up graphic [unknown ellipsis].” Then Clayton teased, “Did it start with an ‘h’ and have two “o'”s in it?” Refute Clayton quickly, Dave immediately replied, “Red Robin.” Approvingly, Aly added, “Red Robin. Oh, I love Red Robin. Those cheeseburgers: Ah! Come to mama!”

Speaking of which, the self-professed “mama’s boy” wanted his fans to know that he was not entirely entangled in his mom’s apron strings.**** In short, asserting some independence and paraphrasing Britney, Dave appeared to proclaim, “I’m not that indolent!”





Dave’s Missing Ring: “My Wife Knows”

July 28, 2009

Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Dave Briggs explained his missing wedding ring to his viewers. After the author’s post about Dave’s absent marital band Sunday (July 19),* Dave appeared in his next F&FW appearance (last Saturday) without it again. However, he had an explanation this time.

After a segment entitled, “Things You Forget,” Dave elucidated, “My worst problem is: It’s right here on my finger. I forget where I put my wedding ring all the time.” Emotively expressing disbelief, co-anchor Alisyn exclaimed, “Oh! What!” Dave replied, “Oh, my wife [Brandi] knows this.”

In a helpful follow-up, Aly asked, “Why do you take it off?” Dave answered, “I take it off because I don’t want to wear it at the beach, the pool, and things with the kids because it might come off.” One of the crew loudly interjected, “The bar!” Pointing to him, Dave guffawed, “Or the bar.” Fingering her own wedding ring, an aping Aly laughed, “I don’t wear it a bar: It might fall off.”

Dave forgot it again Sunday.


Crafty Christine

July 25, 2009

American Morning biz correspondent Christine Romans may look like the pretty lady next door but she’s slightly sly. If one looks at the comely mummy, she has a ring on her left hand: However, it’s not quite on THE ring finger. Even though it appears to be a wedding band, it’s on the middle one.

Friday AM co-anchor Kiran Chetry had a little wicked fun at her and “ringless” co-host John Robert’s expense in that regard. After noting Christine’s absence Thursday, she said, “Poor Christine was out sick yesterday: Everyone’s teasing her today.” As if on cue, John coughed and said, “She was so playing golf yesterday!” Then Kiran replied, “She wasn’t. She had the same sunburn like you did.”

Playing along, John looked at Christine and flirtatiously remarked, “Don’t say that too loud.” Christine merely tittered and then raised her forefingers to her eyebrows as if to maintain her composure. Apparently, noting her success but trying to not be too obvious, Kiran looked at John with little expression and seemed to purse her lips with pleasure.

Huddy: “Finalizing Things”

July 23, 2009

Waxing weary of chasing vixen Juliet down, Huddy hounds? Wondering if she will return to FNC’s Fox & Friends on a more frequent basis now that her FOX Morning Show with Mike and Juliet has been cancelled? Well, hearken to her siren call.

Yesterday, Juliet Tweeted, “Will have news soon on my professional future. Just finalizing things.”* With regard to her detractors, the blond beauty added, “[I]’m scared to read anything on websites/blogs. too much insanity. i want to respond to everything. not a good idea, so i just ignore.”* However, reassuring her Twitter followers earlier, she said, “All’s good, thanks for asking.”

The fox has left her scent: her hounds should soon find her!


1-800-ME-GYN Kelly

July 22, 2009

Rowr! Not only has Catfight Kelly* been a Lady Spa aerobics instructor** but the America’s Newsroom anchor revealed that she was a co-ed 1-800 girl, too, today. And her name was “Rachael.”

After an AN story about a gent who allegedly got criminally irate at a telemarketer, Megyn remarked, “You know, I feel for these telemarketers: They’re trying to make a living.” She explained, “Listen, when I was in college, this is how I spent a summer.” She elaborated, “I couldn’t do it if I used my own name….I was Rachel.” She explained, “I sold 800, not 900, 800 numbers….By the end of the summer, I had that down pat: I was telemarketer supervisor. Hello! (Or Rachel was).”

1-800 ME-GYN Kelly: comely co-ed, aerobics instructor, and legal eagle all at your beck and call. “My name is, um, Rachel. Yeah!” No, bad boys and girls, she was selling the numbers and nothing else: Apparently, still a money-making proposition.


O’Reilly No Cronkite?

July 22, 2009

One culture quiz question too many? Bill O’Reilly appeared to be hoisted on his own petard today.* Or, at least, that of his O’Reilly Factor Culture Quiz queen and Live Desk (LD) co-anchor, Martha MacCallum.

During a LD discussion on who was the most trusted person in America after the death of Walter Cronkite, of lib Forbes columnist and FNC frequent guest Dan Gerstein, MacCallum facetiously asked, “What do you think, Dan? Bill O’Reilly is what you were going to say, right?” Not necessarily towing the network line, Gerstein subtly reminded viewers of O’Reilly’s embarrassing sexual harassment lawsuit by Andrea Mackris,** a former producer: He replied, “We know some things about Bill that we might not have known twenty years ago that affects [sic] people’s trust….I would probably say Oprah.”

Not the answer that MacCallum expected. Nor the one that the cable king and his network probably appreciated.

*LD (07/22/09) – 1:41 p.m. ET

The A(ly) Team: F&F at Its Best

July 20, 2009

Aly & Friends: what a breath of fresh air! The way Fox & Friends should be and could be! After her Cape Cod vacation, the Bristol Bay babe* brought her own special magic to F&F today. Tanned, rested, and ready to roll, Aly effortlessly entertained and educated her viewers. No cause celebres, no patronizing pontifications, and no silly self-absorption: Just a hot, tasty, Italian dish that more than fit the F&F bill!

Too bad, FNC programming veep Bill Shine cannot clone the comely Camerota. Whether she’s guiding her wards, Dave Briggs and Clayton Morris, on F&FW or keening her colleagues, Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade on F&F, she is the Fox in F&F. She has single-handedly righted F&FW’s listing ship, and she illustrated today that, if needed, she can likewise captain F&F’s craft on a more certain course.

Bravo, Aly!


Dave’s Missing Wedding Ring

July 20, 2009

Yesterday Fox & Friends co-host Dave Briggs apparently found his wedding band. Or, perhaps, his wife Brandi did! After appearing without it Saturday as he co-hosted with a now clearly “ringless” Ainsley Earhardt, he definitely had it on Sunday upon the return of his comely co-anchor Alisyn Camerota.

Maybe, Dave is like some men who say that they do not like jewelry. Nevertheless, a wife sometimes does not take such a sentiment at face value. For them, it is not merely an adornment, but a salient statement.

Apparently, Dave got the message.

Gretch Gone: Ainsley On

July 17, 2009

Replacing Gretchen Carlson (on a ten-day vacation),* the “ringless” Ainsley Earhardt is back on the Fox & Friends curvy couch with a more assertive, confident, and carefree attitude. Sitting between F&F co-anchor Steve Doocy and guest host co-host Clayton Morris, she seems quite comfortable in the center seat. To boot, even though she’s clad in a rather conservative above-the-knee plum dress with a slightly plunging neckline, Ainsley exudes a friskier and sexier edge.

FNC programming Bill Shine seems to be impressed with the new Ainsley: he has been returning her to his F&F (and F&FW) rotation more and more. With Ainsley in the line-up, he can give his over-worked reliever, Alisyn Camerota, a bit more rest. (Not too much, Bill!)

Laurels, Ainsley!


Oops: FNC Reveals Teen Suspect

July 16, 2009

Now you see Florence: Now you don’t! In its first hour, Happening Now ran the names and the photos of the eight suspects, including the juvenile, in the shooting deaths of Byrd and Melanie Billings twice.* (The Billings are the Florida Panhandle couple who were known for the adoption of thirteen specially-challenged children.)** However, in the second hour, all of the suspects were named and shown except for sixteen-year-old*** Florence who was shown as a silhouette with a chyron entitled, “Juvenile.”**** Subsequently, Live Desk and Studio B with Shepard Smith have followed suit.

* HN (06/16/09) – @10:00 a.m. ET and @10:22 a.m. ET



**** HN (06/16/09) – @11:14 a.m.

Clayton’s “Snake” Ad Lib

July 16, 2009

Clayton, you did not mean that that way, did you? In the “Jungle Jack” Hannah segment aired live from the Columbus Zoo, Jack displayed a variety of animals first encountered by zoo visitors: He said, “When they have their first experience with an animal here, it’s very important for a child or an adult to see these animals, be able to talk to the parrot, be able to, maybe, touch a snake…to be able to talk to me about a monitor lizard right up close.”

Deadpanning, Clayton interjected, “I think that it’s very important for kids to be able to touch a snake.” As the camera panned onto Clayton in mid-sentence, he shifted in his seat, looked one way and then the other, and avoided eye contact with his co-hosts and the viewer (except for a quick glance at the cam). As he did, Steve Doocy looked at him with eyes widened and mouth agape and looked away in apparent disbelief. Meanwhile, Gretchen Carlson turned toward Clayton warily for a brief moment and then stared straight ahead.

Replying to Clayton’s comment, an ingenuous Jack answered, “Oh, yeah; oh, yeah; oh, yeah. Look, oh, it’s unbelievable. Clayton chuckled heartily.

A double entendre gone awfully awry? If you have it on DVR or can otherwise access it, it was on F&F today at approximately 8:54 a.m. ET. You watch: you decide.

John: “You’re a Stud, Sanjay!”

July 16, 2009

John’s “mancrush”? This morning, having noted CNN chief medical correspondent Sanjay Gupta’s upcoming fortieth birthday during “Checking Sanjay’s Mailbag,” American Morning co-anchor John Roberts ” showed some  “bro” love. Looking and pointing directly at Sanjay for emphasis, with a deeper and more resonant voice, a smiling John slowly said, “Let me just tell you, doc, you’re not getting older, you’re just getting better looking every day.”  Copying John’s body language, Sanjay abashedly answered, “Thank you, sir: I appreciate it….You look great, too.” Beaming broadly, John replied, “You’re a stud, Sanjay! You’re a stud!”

As the segment ended, AM co-host Carol Costello pertly proclaimed, “You have a mancrush.” John reponded, “No, no. It’s a.” Before he could finish, Sanjay interjected, “It’s a bromance.” Concurring, John echoed, “It’s a bromance.”

Note well, viewer: Not a “mancrush” but a “bromance.”

AM – 07/16/09 (8:59 a.m. ET)

American Morning: See Ya!

July 14, 2009

For the second day in a row, American Morning co-hosts John Roberts and Kiran Chetry have given their audience a distant adieu. Instead of thanking their loyal viewers for joining them, they have merely handed them off to Heidi Collins of CNN Newsroom with nary a fond farewell. I.e., yesterday, John merely declared, “And the news continues with Heidi Collins in News[room], and today, Kiran simply proclaimed, “And we’ll see ya here tomorrow.”

Hopefully, a stereotypical New York City attitude is not re-emerging under AM’s interim executive producer Jamie Kraft. Janelle Rodriguez had made positive strides in making AM more personable and viewer-friendly: Kraft should try, at least, to maintain her progress. To wit, AM’s audience should be patently appreciated, not seemingly taken for granted.