Krugman Corrects John: Kiran Laughs

Playing American Morning co-anchor John Robert’s loyal TV wife, co-host Kiran Chetry stood by her man again today (at least, for the most part). Immediately after welcoming the audience to American Morning, she freshly piqued her “Gregorian purist” viewers once again: she matter-of-factly opined, “A very special day, of course, because it is the last day of the decade and the year.” More reasonable and receptive than yesterday, John replied, “You know there are people who argue that the next decade doesn’t begin until next year, December 31, 2010. But…everybody else is going to be partying to end the decade tonight so you might as well.”

However, when the second hour of AM began, John stirred the pot anew. Welcoming back his audience, he said, “Good morning. Thanks very much for joining us…on this last day of 2009, the last day of the 2000’s decade as well.” When Kiran readily agreed, “Right,” John, looked directly into the camera and kindly condescended, “And, for all those of you who say, ‘It’s not until next year that we change to the next decade,’ you’re invited to the party anyway.”

Later, John dragged AM meteorologist Reynolds Wolf unwittingly into the fray and the truth finally emerged. After Reynold’s weather report, John asked, “Reynolds, do you believe this is the end of the first decade of the 2000’s?,” Reynold’s initially answered, “Yeah.” Then, quickly correcting himself, he responded, “No, actually, I think when you go from one through ten…if you want to be a stickler in terms of the numbers, I think that it ends this [sic] year. 2011 would be the next one.”

Subsequently, John remarked, “Some people believe that. They say, ‘Because of the Gregorian calendar, we didn’t start in the year zero, we started with the year one….But, I mean, it’s commonly held that, you know, the 20’s did not end in 1930: the 1930’s did not end in 1940.”

In response to John’s fallacious vox populi argument, Kiran replied, “I know. Although, I have to say, I had to laugh. I thought of you today because I was reading Paul Krugman’s column…and he also said, ‘Technically, technically [that the decade began in 2001].” Embracing the voice of the common man again and spurning the elitist Krugman’s assertion, John retorted, “Technically, schmechnically! Everybody else is going to be celebrating tonight just like they did in the year 2000 with…the December 31st, 1999, for the millennium. So, that’s the party I’m going to.” Concurring, Kiran chuckled, “Don’t let the numbers trip you up.”

As a further dig to his doubters right before the commercial break, John joyfully jibed, “Do you want to make the next decade better than this decade? Hahhh!…All that and more is still ahead in the Most News in the Morning as we continue to drive Gregorian purists nuts.

Mission accomplished!

[All ribbing aside, readers: whether tomorrow marks a new decade or just another year, Happy New Year to one and all!]

AM: JD Doesn’t Count

An inconvenient truth. American Morning co-host John Roberts can’t count: actually, the old boy won’t count. Throughout today’s program, Roberts continued to indicate fallaciously that the decade was coming to an end on December 31. Obviously, a decade is ten years: ergo, it will not end until December 31, 2010.

After the author Tweeted him in this regard, on air, Roberts scoffed, “Some people say, ‘No, the new decade doesn’t start until 2011. Well, you know, those were all the people that celebrated the millennium on January 31st, uh, December 31st, 2001. It was a small party.” Regrettably, echoing Roberts’ sentiments and logic, co-anchor Kiran Chetry declared, “And, they were very surprised to see that Y2K really didn’t happen.” Roberts sniped, “Exactly!”

During the halcyon days of geocentricism, Galileo probably presided over similarly small parties. John Roberts may well want to remember, what another John, John Adams, said, “Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passion, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence.”

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus, too. At least, on American Morning.

Aly: Twit to Tweeter?

Fox and Friends guest co-host Alisyn Camerota appears almost ready to shed her Twitter Twit status at last. After, basically, ignoring the Tweets of her followers for approximately four months (since September 4), she finally reached out just a bit today. No, she did not respond to her Tweeps directly but she, at least, sent out a link–her first–to a Celebrity Parents Magazine article featuring her. She Tweeted, “U might find this fun (funny?) http://www.celebrityparentsmag.com/2009/10/catching-up-withfox-friends-anchor-alisyn-camerota.html.”

Fun? Of course, if one is an Aly acolyte, s/he appreciates the glossy pics of Aly and her three children (twin daughters, Ale and Cessa, and son Nate) and an interview of Aly about herself, her family, and her work. Funny? No, not the content: However, it is somewhat humorous that Aly waited almost three months to send the October 31st feature to her followers.

As the mother of toddlers can appreciate, one baby step at a time. Bravo, Aly!

Lauren Sivan Vamooses

Fox News overnight anchor Lauren Sivan has left the FNC building after a short sixteen month stint. Last night the blonde beauty announced her departure to a Twitter follower: When glennbeckgirl22 Tweeted, “I heard that you are leaving @foxnews,” Sivan responded, “‘Tis true. Tonight’s my last night:(.” Then, early this morning, to all of her Tweeps, she announced, “About to read last set of headlines 4 FoxNews. Bittersweet.” She added, “Will miss this place tons but not the overnight shift! Here’s 2 SLEEP in 2010!”

Perhaps, the George Washington University graduate had tired of her limited role at FNC. Only last month (November 19), when another follower Tweeted, “I want you have have [sic] own hour on Fox,” she replied, “my own HOUR? I’d settle for anything over the current 1minute.” Regardless, the sexy siren, who made her indelible mark on Red Eye as the self-dubbed “Dancing Shiva” during the Yoga News segment, will be missed.

Good luck to you and Spanx, Lauren!

F&FW: Poor Taste or Carelessness?

“Pop! Pop!” Fox & Friends Weekend terrorist sound effects or “technical difficulties”? I.e., was someone in poor taste simulating the firecracker noise that alerted Delta 253 passengers of a Christmas Day terrorist act intended to down their plane, or was it merely carelessness that allowed an open mike at a terrible time?

When F&FW co-anchor Dave Briggs introduced the “Connecting the Dots” interview with Fox News Sunday host Chris Wallace, no extraneous noises were heard.* However, as Chris answered Dave’s first question whether it was time for the President to connect the dots (to prevent further terrorist attempts like the aforementioned Christmas Day terrorist attempt), one loud pop rang out and another later. Subsequently, similar sounds reverberated throughout the segment.

Was it, perhaps, the carelessness of an inattentive co-host or producer who forgot to mute a microphone? It very well may have been: Fox & Friends certainly has its open-mike moments. A notable example for long-time F&FW fans, would be Dave’s off-camera toilet flush. A lesser one for today’s viewers was all of the strange sounds echoing throughout FNC correspondent Catherine Herridge’s “Northwest Bomb Attempt” segment.**

However, if it were intentional, poor taste would be a charitable characterization indeed.

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 12/27/09 (@ 8:15 a.m.)
**Fox & Friends Weekend – 12/27/09 (@ 9:42 a.m.)

Rick’s “Horrendous” Gift

Oops! Whoever gave Fox & Friends Weekend meteorologist Rick Reichmuth “that” Christmas present” probably had a Rolaids moment this morning. Not only did Rick really NOT like their gift but he might “out” them on national television.

After Rick’s first weather report, co-host Clayton Morris asked, “Did you get anything you have to return this year, any Christmas gifts?” Somberly, Rick replied, “I got one gift from someone that was horrendous.” Then, when co-anchor Dave Briggs jested, “He won’t even mention it,” a slightly smiling Rick explained, “I can’t mention it because it would hurt the person’s feelings and I don’t want to do it: But, it was, it was really something.” Chuckling, Rick added, “I would be embarrassed to re-gift it.”

Later, after Rick’s third weather segment, co-hosts Dave, Clayton, and Courtney tried to coax Rick into revealing “the Christmas present.” After the segue, Dave impishly posited, “We know that Rick is returning some strange gift.” A cajoling Clayton asserted, “He said earlier in the show he’s returning this just godawful gift so later in the show, maybe, we’ll reveal it.” Steadfast, Rick iterated, “No, I won’t. I don’t want to hurt this person who gave me this gift.” When a persistent Courtney pleaded, “But, what if they’re not watching,” Rick firmly shook his head “no” and asserted, “I’m not risking it.”

Somewhere, Rick’s relieved friend must have reached for a much needed mimosa.

Briggs Remembers Brandi

Fox & Friends guest co-host Dave Briggs did it right this time: he did not forget his lovely wife Brandi. Last Saturday, when F&F Weekend co-anchor Alisyn Camerota asked Dave how he was getting into work the next day (with a severe snowstorm in the offing), Dave declared, “I’m actually going to stay at a hotel tonight. Buzzkill! I won’t see my kids.” Unfortunately, he made no mention of his spouse Brandi. (Cf. Carpe Diem’s “Brandi, You’re a Fine Girl.”) Today, less than a week later, he had apparently learned a lesson from his beloved.

In the opening segment of the second hour, Dave wished the viewers and the troops overseas a Merry Christmas. Then, on a more personal note, he said,  “I want to wish a Merry Christmas to my wife Brandi [and] my kids, Emerson and William.” N.B. Not only did Dave recall Brandi, but he saluted her first and then his children in his seasonal greetings.

Good job, Dave!

Courtney Opines: Brian Smiles

As Fox & Friends opened with guest co-host Courtney Friel on the curvy couch, co-anchor Steve Doocy stated, “Ho, Ho, Ho, everybody, and welcome! It’s Christmas Eve. And, look who Santa left under our tree today.” After warmly greeting the former F&F Weekend headline news reader, Brian said, “This is going to be a show like no other!” In response, the former Maxim model declared, “I’ll track Santa: you track the healthcare debate.” Guffawing loudly, Brian replied, “Okay, fine. Let me write that down. I don’t want to go into your lane.”

Unfortunately, for Brian, that was not the problem: I.e., Courtney swerved into his lane. After Brian and Steve discussed the Obamacare bill in depth, Courtney glanced down at her papers and read the major differences between the House & Senate bills. Then looking at Brian, she opined, “Man, it’s a lot of money: a lot of people don’t want to be told what to do.” Appearing amused at her shallow assessment, Brian declined to meet her gaze but stared straight ahead instead, smiled slightly, and deadpanned, “Right.”

Courtney, it may be time to track Santa now.

Page Appears on MSNBC

Fans of former Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Page Hopkins got an early gift in their stocking if they were watching MSNBC. (And that’s a big if for many of her former viewers at Fox News.) Page was spotted by ICN providing afternoon updates last Sunday: the cable news blog reported that her status was unclear, i.e., if she were a freelancer or a more permanent employee.

It has been over a year since Page Hopkins left Fox News reportedly on her own terms in late 2008. Page had been a rather popular F&FW co-anchor before being unceremoniously canned in early 2008. Subsequently, she was relegated to a rather minor role before her departure with little fanfare.

Kiran: Naughty or Nice?

Kiran and her bad boys! Last week, American Morning co-host Kiran Chetry reveled in her co-anchor John Roberts squirming’ during a Jeanne Moos report entitled “Window Undressing.” Yesterday, similarly, Kiran relished her guest co-host T.J. Holmes’ repeated slavering over the same young lithe New York models disrobing in the 5th Avenue front window of XOXO (during still timely re-airings of that very tale).

Yesterday, when Moos’ story, “Window Undressing” opened to Christina Aguilera’s  hit “Dirty,” Kiran glanced at T.J. and saucily mouthed, “Love that song.” Grinning, T.J. then introduced the segment saying, “Just in time for your last minute holiday shopping, we’ve got a window display designed to lure you in but also make you drool.” [And, apparently, it did.] As the story concluded with a close-up of the comely caboose of one of the cuties, T.J., turned to Kiran and randily remarked, “Okay, I didn’t walk far enough up 5th Avenue, apparently….[I]t’s a good marketing tool.” With raised eyebrows, Kiran laughed, “It sure is!”

Later, when the salacious segment aired again to the strains of “Dirty” and the visuals of the models’ changing clothes, Kiran was caught unawares sexily swaying to the music. Looking at the camera, Kiran chuckled, “Oh, sorry!” Her colleague T.J. was not: Looking at her rather appreciatively before running the story, he exclaimed, “Yeah. They caught you dancing. It’s alright!”

Then, after the subsequent report footage had concluded with that zoom-in on the model’s shapely derriere again (as she pulled a very snug skirt over it), Kiran wryly remarked, “See, you didn’t think that it was going to fit but it did at the last minute.” Smiling, T.J. answered, “I had no doubts that it was going to work out.” Racily, Kiran cleverly replied, “Worked out just fine in the end.” Then, looking into his eyes for his reaction, she bawdily added, “And a good time was had by all!” With a goatish grin, T.J. wisely responded, “Un-huh. I should stop talking about this story now.” Kiran concurred, “Yeah.”

Kiran: Naughty but nice!

Gretchen’s Bare “Pootie-Poot”

Hot for Vladimir: Russian Bear Excites Swedish Fox! In a segment on the Russian Prime Minister’s tutoring the national judo team, Fox & Friends co-anchor Gretchen asked, “Who’s our favorite Russian leader? Is it Medvevevevedev [sic (Gretch being playful)]?” When co-host Brian Kilmeade jested that his personal fave was Brezhnev, Gretchen replied, “No. It’s Vladimir Putin because he goes shirtless.”*

Sarcastically, co-anchor Steve Doocy interjected, “That’s why I love him.” Then, as copious pictures of a bare-chested Putin began to run, Gretchen enthusiastically replied, “That’s why I love him! Check out those pecs.” Less impressed, Steve answered, “The guy’s a nudist.” Gretchen replied, “I like it!”

As the story concluded, Brian aptly remarked, “We’re the only show to do three minutes on Lieberman and four on Putin.” Gretchen declared, “Thank goodness! More of those shirtless photos, please.” Incredulous, Brian queried, “Really?” Randily, Gretchen replied, “Yeah! It’s fun. Come on….At six a.m., what better to look at than that.” When Steve riantly retorted, “I can think of a couple things,” she responded, “Well, I’m a woman.”

The Cold War is over: Apparently, the Hot Peace has begun.

*Fox & Friends – 12/22/09 (@6:08 a.m. ET)

Dave: No Princess Today

Fox & Friends weekend co-anchor Dave Briggs took his guest’s gaffe graciously this morning. In a segment celebrating the thirtieth anniversary of the iconoclastic Christmas carol, “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer,” “Dr. Elmo” Shropshire serenaded F&F’s co-hosts Dave Briggs, Alisyn Camerota, and Clayton Morris to the tune he made famous. As he concluded the song, he sang, “You can say there’s no such thing as Santa, but as for me, and Mike, and Clayton, and Alisyn, we believe.”

In response, Aly and Clayton howled at Dr. Elmo’s faux pas, and a grinning Dave noted, “Only I was Mike.” Applauding heartily, Aly looked mischievously at Dave, and exclaimed, “A wonderful addition! A wonderful new version!” Ribbing Dave all the more, a clapping Clayton impishly proclaimed, “I loved the ending even better. Dr. Elmo, great stuff!” Good-naturedly, Dave, rubbing his chin and smiling abashedly, added, “The ‘and Mike’ stuff was the best.”

Actually, the best was Dave’s self-deprecatory response. No princess and the pea this morning. Kudos, Dave!

“Brandi, You’re a Fine Girl”

“What a good wife you would be.” Did Fox & Friends co-anchor Dave Briggs’ wife Brandi hear the soulful strains of Looking Glass’ 1972 #1 hit Brandy this morning? When co-anchor Alisyn Camerota asked Dave how he was getting into work tomorrow (in light of the impending snow storm) he declared, “I’m actually going to stay at a hotel tonight.” He continued, “Buzzkill! I won’t see my kids.” Then, with a slight smile, Dave looked at Clayton and playfully added, “And my mother-in-law is coming tomorrow so I’m a bit, a bit concerned.”

Mischievously beaming back at Dave, Clayton replied, “I think, maybe, you’re more excited about that.” With his arms crossed, a grinning Dave looked down, shook his head, and riantly replied, “No.” At which, Aly turned to Dave and simply chuckled.

Dave may get a slight spousal swat later but he is learning. For example, he is finally wearing his wedding ring regularly now on the show. Perhaps, remembering to miss his missus or, at least, not to dis her mum is next.

Dave, Dave.

F&F: Doonesbury Dudes

Brian Kilmeade and Steve Doocy have made the funny papers! Today, during his promo for his Fox News Sunday show on Fox & Friends, Chris Wallace alluded to this distinction when he commended F&F co-anchor Brian for his “shout-out” from Doonsebury. For F&F fans who may have missed Wallace’s oblique reference, Garry Trudeau has spoofed F&F’s coverage of the Tiger Woods saga this week. In so doing, he “featured” Brian Monday through Thursday, and mentioned Steve today. (Links: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday.)

The author is surprised that co-host Gretchen Carlson has not yet been given a starring role in the progressive comic strip. Perhaps, Keith Olbermann’s “Second Worst Person in the World” and Jon Stewart’s dumbing-herself-down dame will make her grand entrance next week.

Christine: Romans’ Foc-us

Naughty and nice? American Morning biz beauty Christine Romans had her bacchanalian bent going on today. Before her business segment began, A.M. ran a Conan O’Brien Tonight Show clip where he reported the worst car names of all time, including the Ford Aspire, Subaru Brat, and Ford Probe. When co-host Kiran Chetry subsequently said that the Subaru Brat was “awesome,” Christine remarked, “I got one.”* [And, did she ever.]

Elaborating, Christine commented, “Remember the Ford Focus?” Inquisitively, Kiran replied, “Yeah.” Looking down with a wicked grin, Christine continued, “When, when I went to France, the Ford Focus. Give yourself a French accent. Say Ford Focus and you’ll know why it’s a terrible [name].”

Feigning disdain, co-anchor John Roberts interjected, “Oh, come on! From a sweet girl from Iowa. You’re talking like that this morning?” Undaunted, Christine replied, “I’m just saying. It was funny. Everytime I heard it, I was like, ooh, ooh, ooh [repeatedly in a titter].” To his wayward student, John ordered, “Go stand in the corner!”

Barely chastened, Christine retorted, “I didn’t say it! Ford Focus.” Like a stern Scottish teacher, John lectured, “No. You didn’t need to say it? Did you?” Like a suddenly chastised child, Christine stuttered, “But, I, I, I, I. I should be a night-time comedian.”

After looking at her with a studied reproving stare, John gave her the universal “shame, shame” hand gesture. Responding to Christine’s “aspiration,” Kiran declared, “That’s interesting. You [Christine] should be. Ba-dom, ching.” Looking at Christine again before going to the next topic, Kiran cautioned, “First, Christine zip it over there about the Ford Focus.” Christine beamed broadly with glee.

Roman’s Foc-us! New A.M. segment?

*American Morning – 12/17/09 (@8:18 a.m. ET)

Juliet: “I Don’t Like [Gore]”

On Red Eye yesterday, FNC anchor Juliet Huddy revealed that she is not kissing the ring of the green pontiff, Al Gore. And, she was not shy about it.

During a segment on Gore’s mistaken claim that the Arctic could be free of ice during summer within five years, Red Eye second banana Bill Shulz opined, “I feel that Al Gore pops more GOP blood vessels than Scotch and Viagra combined. I don’t get why you guys hate this person so much.” Slapping Bill on the shoulder, Juliet exclaimed, “Oh, I can tell you. I don’t like the man.”

When Red Eye host Greg Gutfeld asked her why, Juliet explained, “I had to follow him in politics back in ’97 back in Miami. And, he saw the Fox News mike flag go up, and he sneered at me. And I asked a question.” Bill sarcastically interjected, “I wonder why. We’ve been taking potshots.” Julie laughingly scoffed, “Not back then we didn’t.”

Gore sneered: Juliet shrugged, not.

*Red Eye – 12/16/09 (@3:05 a.m. ET)

Beck: “Sorry” for Ganges Gaffe

Today Glenn Beck offered a hurried apology at the end of his show, apparently, for offending Hindus and others with his reckless religious remark. Right before saying adieu to his audience, he quickly stated, “By the way, the name of the river in India, Ganges, I said last week that it sounded like a disease. Didn’t mean to offend anybody. Sorry.” And, that was it.

Perhaps, Beck was responding to a complaint filed with the FCC against Fox News by Bhavna Shinde of Forum for Hindu Awakening that alleged that Beck’s comments concerning the Hindu holy river constituted an aspersion of Hinduism and its followers. (The FCC has acknowledged receipt of the complaint and has promised to review it.) Furthermore, Beck may have been swayed in part by Rajan Zed, president of Universal Society of Hinduism, who requested FNC be more sensitive to faith-based matters and urged Beck (as well as Roger Ailes and Rupert Murdoch) to make a statement.

*The Glenn Beck Show (12/16/09) – @6:00 p.m. ET

Jon & Jane: Happening Not

Are Jon Scott and Jane Skinner, co-hosts of Happening Now playing the Babbitts on FNC? For the author, the show with David Asman’s “tv twin” and Roger Goodell’s gal seems to be an ill-conceived paean to America’s bourgeois best. After an entertaining and edgy Fox & Friends and a more strait-laced but sexy America’s Newsroom, FNC seems to have plopped the vanilla couple in the middle of the morning when the majority of their more adventurous audience is apt to roam.

Jon and Jane appear to be the prim and proper co-anchors behind a desk (a la CNN). Nothing too colorful, quirky, or controversial: just the news, day in and day out. In fact, they tend to embody what a prep school’s newsroom exemplar might look and sound like. Scarily, their mien and their garb would be as equally apt for loan officers in one’s local bank.

Loosen Jon and Jane up, Bill. If you do it right, Roger may still shell out a few tickets!

John & Sanjay: 1 A.M. “Bromance”

For some men, the answer to getting old is a younger beau: For others, it might be a younger bro. Today, American Morning co-anchor John Roberts seemed to opt or, rather, re-opt for the latter. I.e., a renewed bromance from July.

AM’s “silver fox” feeling old? Apparently, so. After misreading a headline news story, John groused, “You know, from this distance, sometimes, an “8” looks an awful lot like a “3”: when guest co-host Alina Cho tried to imply kindly that it might be his contacts, John declared, “Telling you. This getting old thing? Hate it!” Later, after mistakenly saying that Lady Gaga was DirecTV’s ad gal, he admitted that he had trouble telling Lady Gaga and Christina Aguilera apart (even though he re-affirmed his “unique fascination” with Lady Gaga).

When the subsequent post-break segment with Dr. Sanjay Gupta began to “The Remedy,” a still smarting John exclaimed, “Him, I know. Jason Mraz….Lady Gaga, Christina Aguilera, I’m still having a problem.” Before Sanjay started his report entitled “Americans May Live Longer,” he looked at John and advised, “You need to get more sleep.” When Sanjay had concluded his story, John joked, “And, he [Gupta], is chastising me for not getting sleep. We were emailing each other at one o’clock in the morning.”

Dismissively, Sanjay stated, “That’s right. Yeah, it was about work stuff. Yeah.” Turning to Alina and then pointing to Sanjay, John smiling queried, “Notice how he qualifies it by saying, ‘It was about work stuff.'” Blushing, Sanjay looked down and chuckled. Grinning puckishly, John continued, “He’s always trying to downplay the bromance here.” As they all shared a lavish laugh, an abashed Sanjay struck his forehead with his papers and incredulously asked, “Back to that again?”

Sanjay, apparently, what’s old is new again!

“No, I’m Not Dumbing Myself Down!”

After not responding to earlier bad press, Fox & Friends co-anchor Gretchen Carlson answered her latest “tormentor,” Jon Stewart today. Five days after the Daily Show host accused the Stanford alum and classical violinist of dumbing herself down for her Fox News audience, she replied not so obliquely during her show.*

When she introduced a segment entitled “Decade’s Most Obsolete Items,” she stated, “This’ll make you feel really old ’cause a lot of this stuff is technology-based driven: This always affects me.” Then, marveling, she asked, “Did you know…that the fax machine is almost obsolete? I’m just getting around to figuring how to actually use it.” Apparently, remembering John’s acerbic assertions, she quickly added, “And, no, I’m not dumbing myself down!”

In response, Gretchen’s guest co-host, Peter Johnson, Jr., laughed knowingly and heartily. As co-anchor Steve Doocy stoically tried to segue to the next item (telephone answering machine), Gretchen stared straight into the camera and simply smiled. As if to say, are you listening, John?

*Fox & Friends (12/14/09) – @8:36 a.m. ET