Archive for March, 2014

Comely Camerota: CNN’s Catch?

March 31, 2014

Bathing beauty Aly: “For anyone wondering what I’ve been up to….” Today, Alisyn Camerota, the quondam queen of Fox & Friends Weekend‘s curvy couch got her fans attention with that Twitter tease that featured her in a sexy bathing beauty pose. She may have been more demure than her daring ’80’s bikini shot but the Bristol Bay Babe was just as alluring with her sexy come-hither pose. The catch? The former F&FW fox has jumped ship to CNN according to FTVLive.

For Fox & Friends viewers, Aly’s move should come as no surprise. FNC’s Senior VP of Programming Bill Shine has seemingly given his erstwhile best anchor the shaft: When he ditched Gretchen Carlson on F&F weekday, it appeared that the long-suffering three-time co-anchor of F&FW and frequent guest-host of F&F would finally get her due. Instead, the same genius that chose Gretch to be E. D. Hill‘s replacement on F&F over the eminently superior Kiran Chetry decided to go outside of the FNC family and choose Barbara Walter’s View outcast, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, rather than F&F fan favorite Aly.

Hopefully, CNN Prez Jeff Zucker will put Aly on against Lis in the mornings to jump start his moribund morning show New Day. Of course, Aly will be at a distinct disadvantage having to contend against Shine’s FNC juggernaut trio that also includes F&F Everyman Steve Doocy and Puckish wit Brian Kilmeade. Hopefully, Aly will join a cast including current Early Start co-host, wag John Berman, and another engaging gal or guy during the New Day time period: I.e., if the proverbial CNN stars are aligned propitiously, ND co-anchor Kate Bouldan, Michaela Pereira, and Chris Cuomo will find new places on Ted Turner’s network and Aly can usher in a new dawn to CNN.

Congratulations, Aly! And, good luck!

H/t, J$P!

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Slurring Kyra: I’m Married to a Robertson

March 26, 2014

Phillips confused or revealing hubby John Roberts‘ real surname? CNN correspondent Kyra Phillips had an “oops” moment during her New Day report this morning as she shared her taped interview of Duck Dynasty stars, Willie and Korie Robertson.* In the clip, Kyra began the confab, shamelessly trying to ingratiate herself with the Robertsons: She declared, “Alright, so I might as well just break the ice and let ya’ll know we have a lot in common.** Aptly, a surprised Korie queried, “Oh, really?”

As Korie and Willie looked on in bemusement, a slightly slurring Kyra answered, “Oh, yeah! Now I know my way awound [sic] a weapon or two but I’m married to a Robertson [italics added for emphasis]. Appearing perplexed but nodding their heads in unison, as any civil Southerner might, Willie “aahed” and Korie softly replied, “Oh, wow.”

Eagerly, Kyra exclaimed, “So, are we family?” Turning toward Willie for his take, Korie tersely answered, “Probably.” Hoping to end the awkwardness, Willie jested, “I know he’s not kin to me because he hasn’t asked me for money!”

Here’s to you, Mrs. Robertson: Confused or revealing, you do make CNN fun!

*New Day – 03/26/14 (@ 8:33 a.m. ET).

**Kyra Phillips vid – 03/26/14 (00:17/05:30).

[Author’s aside: N.B. Whether Kyra and John (FNC’s senior national correspondent) have actually tied the knot or simply deem themselves married seems to be an open question.]

DJ JD: “Love in an Elevator”!

March 24, 2014

Janice Dean: [Steven Tyler and I] had a wonderful date afterwards! FNC’s “Dancing Machine” [vid] meteorologist Janice Dean revealed to her Fox & Friends Weekend fans that she “used to date rock stars.”* No, not Steven Tyler of Aerosmith: Really!

Introducing one of her fabulous weather segments with that fun fact (March 9, 2014), Janice subsequently showed a photo of herself cheek-to-cheek with the bad boy himself, Steven Tyler.* As F&FW co-hosts Anna Kooiman, Clayton Morris, and Tucker Carlson looked on in disbelief at the pic of JD looking like a young Brooke Shields next to Liv Tyler‘s randy old man, Janice exclaimed, “No I didn’t ‘date’ him!” Belying her assertion almost immediately, Janice continued, ” But, I used to be a classic rock DJ back in the day when I was in my twenties when I had a cool job….I would love for him to sign that photo because we had a wonderful date afterwards!”

Intrigued, Tucker asked, “What year was that, Janice?” JD replied, “That was Get a Grip: So, that was ’93, and I was twenty-three years old! And, I have a lot more of these types of photos of rock stars that I’ve dated that I will post on my Facebook page!”

Pruriently, Clayton asked, “Well, is it a long list, Janice?”

Ignoring his concupiscent query, Janice playfully responded, singing “Love in an elevator! Livin’ it up as we’re goin’ down!” As Anna giggled, Clayton chuckled, “I knew there was a fun past to Janice!”

Janice: A fun past–and a fun present!

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 03/09/14 (@ 9:39 a.m. ET).

**Fox5 NY (Youtube vid) – 09/28/07: 4:50/12:08.

[Author’s aside: Pics of Janice Dean as CHEZ FM (Ottawa) “Sunscoop Reporter”; with Peter Frampton (after she asked him to autograph a poster saying, “Here’s to another 20 years in your bedroom!”); with Travis Tritt; and with her bikini.]

Pinup Maria: She’s No “Angel”!

March 23, 2014

Molina: “The ride of my life….I passed out!” Flushed FNC meteorologist Maria Molina looked like a young Hollywood starlet who had just enjoyed “one wild ride” after she took the “ride of her life” with her Blue Angel escort.

Sharing her exciting personal encounter with one of America’s elite aviators on Fox & Friends First Wednesday, “Cosmo‘s Caliente Latina” gushed, “I had the incredible honor of flying with the Blue Angels and the experience blew my mind! Introducing her with footage of her flight, Maria exclaimed, “I knew it was going to be awesome. And, take a look for yourself at the ride of my life!”*

Subsequently, vid ran of Maria’s fearless navy flyer taking her on a fast steep climb, reaching six plus “g’s”: As he encouraged her on, Maria fainted and her helmeted head hit the cockpit glass hard. Coming too groggily, she reached frantically for the side of the cockpit, exclaiming, “I pa…I passed out!” When her sympathetic pilot answered, “Yeah. How you feeling?,” Maria repeated, “I passed out! What happened?” As she caught her breath, her Blue Angel asked, “We…pulled…some ‘g’ there: But, you back with me now?” Still light-headed, an ashen Maria reiterated, “Yeah! I passed out!”

As her Blue Angel clip continued with more aerial acrobatics to follow, voice-over Maria intoned, “So, what’s it like sitting in the cockpit of an F-18 jet? Well, it’s one wild ride!” As her “wild ride” ended and her plane taxied down the runway, on-vid Maria intoned, “Perfect landing!” When the cockpit cover opened for her to emerge, Maria look radiantly ruddy, demurely doe-eyed, and sensually smiling as if she were a pinup that once adorned America’s fearless fighter jets.

Maria Molina may be no “Angel”: But, the the navy boys seemed mighty happy to finally have their favorite pinup on their plane again–and, in person!

*Fox & Friends First – 03/19/14 (@ 4:22 a.m. ET). [N.B. Vid footage on F&F – contains same clip as F&FF.]

Aly Tears Up: “My Last Day”

March 14, 2014

“Censored” Camerota’s “Orwellian Twist”: A very special day.”Not! In her America’s News HQ tease today on Happening Now, Alisyn Camerota promised, “Today is a very special day for us: we hope that you’ll tune in at the top of the hour!”* For those who did tune in as Aly asked, it was anything but–special.

Of course, Aly’s fans knew the end was near. On Monday, TVNewser reported that her tenure at Fox News would conclude sometime this month. On Tuesday, Judge Napolitano clued Aly’s acolytes into the fact that her departure would possibly be this week when he rhetorically asked Aly if he would be on with her again, exclaiming, “Mother of God!” Today, the writing on Belshazzar’s wall needed no interpreting when Aly promised “a very special day.”

When America’s News Headquarters began to conclude this afternoon, Aly’s co-anchor Bill Hemmer announced, “And, today marks the end–of a wonderful run for our friend and our colleague, Alisyn Lane Cameota.”** As tears began to well up in Aly’s eyes, Bill continued, “I tried to talk her out of it: Oh, I tried! She’s leaving us after sixteen years here at the Fox News channel but she leaves us laughing because that’s what Aly does!”

On cue, a collage of innocuous Aly FNC clips ran: Unfortunately, it appeared to have been cobbled together at the last minute by an intern who had little knowledge of Aly’s tenure on the “Fair and Balanced” network. Bizarrely, there was no real footage of Aly with her Fox & Friends Weekend co-hosts during her remarkable three stints on the show: Vintage Aly video with her comeliest of co-hosts Kiran Chetry and their stalwart colleague Kelly Wright was a no-show, e.g., the hilarious spanking tape; Aly clips with her Doublemen twins, Clayton Morris and Dave Briggs, on cam were absent, e.g., “Dave’s Farewell;” and Aly snippets with her final F&FW fellows Clayton and Tucker Carlson apparently were also left on the cutting floor, e.g., Aly’s full “Down and Dirty in the Mud.” To make matters even worse, there was no vid of Aly and the F&F week day boys, Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade either (“Aly’s Back: She’s Rocking–& Ringless“).

In the strange melange today, it was almost all Aly and Bill: There was scant recognition of what Aly has meant to her fans throughout the years on Fox & Friends (weekend and week day). Aly was and is an FNC icon: Too bad, Bill Shine appears to not aptly appreciate that fact. But, Aly’s fans do.

Kudos, Aly! A job well done. You will be missed!

*Happening Now – 03/14/14 (@ 12:43 p.m. ET).

*America’s News HQ – 03/14/14 (@ 1:54 p.m. ET).

Update: J$P vid: “Alisyn Signs Off from Fox News.”

Moos’ Scat Chat Silences CNN Co-hosts

March 11, 2014

Michaela: She literally left us all speechless. Ugh! To the disgust of ND news reader Michaela Pereira and guest co-host Brooke Baldwin and the amusement of regular co-anchor Chris Cuomo, CNN correspondent Jeanne Moos plumbed the depths of the human anatomy and good taste this morning.

Introducing another wacky Moos’ story re a snake which had ingested a towel (vid), an unprepared Brooke intoned, “This next story I’m going to be watching like this [with her hands over her eyes] because it involves a very large snake…pet boa constrictor named Killer undergoing an hour-long emergency surgery….* After Moos reported on the successful surgery, she discussed other such pet stomach removals, namely, golf balls, pennies, and drugs.

Subsequently, she took it to a lower level. Snapping her towel prop into the camera as if into the viewer’s visage repeatedly, Moos remarked, “And, as for a towel, a towel is practically an appetizer compared with what people enjoy and ingest: Instead of plugging into the wall, imagine plugging an electrical chord into your very own rear socket.” In a disgusting, fulsome collage including an electrical chord, a salt shaker, an egg beater, spectacles, cassette tape, tuna can, light bulb, Barbi doll, and handgun, Moos seemed to revel ribaldly in her litany of items that had been found their way into the abyss of the alimentary canal. Signing off proudly, she proclaimed, “Jeanne Moos, CNN, New York.”

As Brooke brought her papers to her face in amazement and as Chris smiled faintly, an incredulous Michaela remarked, “She literally left us all speechless.” Repulsed, Brooked chimed, “And, people are eating breakfast! That’s all I’m saying!” In reply, Michaela exclaimed, “Sorry!”

Seemingly, similarly surprised, Chris declared, “That threw me! I thought it was a story about eating things because of the snake.” Shrugging her shoulders, Brooke said, “No, it was”: Before she could finished, Michaela interjected, “She kind of went there!”

Grinning goatishly, Chris gleefully guffawed, “Yeah! Kind of back-doored us on that one! Grimacing, Brooke aptly concluded, “Let’s move on!”

New Day: Poo Day today!

*New Day – 03/11/14 (@ 7:52 a.m. ET).

Alisyn Camerota: Departure “Bittersweet”

March 11, 2014

Staying classy. “Mother of God!,” exclaimed Judge Andrew Napolitano as he revealed beloved long-time FNC anchor Alisyn Camerota‘s imminent departure from the network to her America’s News HQ viewers today. Even though Aly had not yet announced her adieu to her audience, the Judge let them in on her “secret” at the end of his segment this afternoon.*

When the Judge finished his America’s News HQ analysis (on passenger rights on an ill-fated cruise), Aly remarked, “Judge, great to see you”: Grabbing her hand forthwith and kissing it affectionately, he animatedly remarked, “Pleasure. Aly, all the best to you! Is this the last time I’ll be on with you? Mother of God!” Not quite acknowledging his disclosure, she jested, “I doubt it! I sense [that] you’ll be at my house a lot!”

But, the erstwhile three-time queen of Fox & Friends Weekend was more forth coming to her Twitter followers earlier in the day. In a obvious nod to her fans who had Tweeted or otherwise expressed their love for her and her work after learning of her leaving Fox News, Aly Tweeted, “Wowee! Thanks for all the beautiful tweets and well wishes. It’s great to feel the impact of the work I’ve done. #bittersweet.”

Bittersweet indeed. According to the TVNewser’s scoop, Aly is expected to leave the building later this month. Encore, Aly!

*America’s News HQ – 03/11/14 (@ 1:49 p.m. ET).

Clayton’s “Queer” Echo: “Wide Stance” Rick

March 9, 2014

Tucker: “Wide stance!” Off-handed remark or odd “outing”? Yesterday, Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Tucker Carlson appeared to incredibly and inanely allude to the infamous Larry Craig airport restroom incident–as he, his co-hosts, Clayton Morris and Anna Kooiman, and chief meteorologist Rick Reichmuth were taught a new groove on the treadmill by Nikki Fitness‘ sexy Nikki Glor.

In a segment entitled “Treadmill Tricks: How to Make the Most of an Indoor Workout,” Nikki introduced the “Wide Walker” exercise [vid]. As they all strangely strode atop the rotating rubber, Clayton suggestively queried, “Wide walker?”* Without much apparent reflection on his FNC present (or any recollection of his 2007 MSNBC past), Tucker rashly riposted, “Wide stance!” As laughter rang out in the background, Clayton quipped, “That’s what we call Rick!”

Looking at Clayton, Rick laughed: In response, Clayton chuckled as if it were an inside joke. A few seconds later, he conveniently added, “Like a cowboy.” Clayton channeling Bill Press? Perhaps, perhaps not.

Stay tuned.

[Author’s aside: As the author listened to the tape (for another article), he noticed the aforementioned strange exchanges. When he heard Tucker’s “wide stance” comment, he immediately thought of the much ballyhooed phrase re Larry Craig (re Urban Dictionary‘s top definition). Upon further review, the author still wonders if Clayton’s quick quip was an off-handed remark to FNC‘s beloved chief meteorologist or an odd “outing” of his friend.]

*F&FW vid – 03/08/14 (@ 00:58/04:06).

Anna Oops: Not “In Full Disclosure”

March 9, 2014

“According to the Daily Caller…a reliable news source.” Gretchen Carlson/Derek Jeter redux? Unfortunately, for Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Anna Kooiman today, she followed in the faux pas of erstwhile F&F (weekday) co-anchor Gretchen Carlson. Like Gretchen who failed to mention that her husband Casey Close was the agent of Derek Jeter in her 2009 F&F hagiographic interview of the New York Yankee superstar, Anna cited the Daily Caller as a “reliable news source” this morning without so much as mentioning that her co-host Tucker Carlson was its founder and current editor-in-chief.*

During a segment on Homeland Security (re a Border Patrol policy advising agents to not engage “rock throwers”), Anna remarked, “According to the Daily Caller, it says that.” Interrupting her, F&FW co-anchor Tucker Carlson smiling chimed, “A reliable news source.” Grinning, Anna stammered, “A reliable news sources, yes, ah, that, that these, uh, uh, uh, new standards essential match those of advocacy groups who, who think that policing our borders is not a good idea.”

Not a good idea, Anna? A good idea would have to reveal that your co-host Tucker is the founder and editor-in-chief of your source. Also, Tucker, a good idea would have been to reveal that you were the authority for Anna’s assertion. And, Clayton Morris, as the now oldest denizen on the F&FW curvy couch, a good idea would have been to step up to the plate to insure full disclosure to the F&FW viewer.

“In full disclosure”: F&FW is sorely missing its captain.

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 02/09/14 (@ 7:11 a.m. ET).

F&FW CyberGuy’s “Shot of [Anna’s] Legs”

March 9, 2014

Giggling Anna: Actually, our viewers…post pictures online like that, anyway! Yesterday, a blushing Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Anna Kooiman suggested that she does not mind her acolytes’ ardor for her gorgeous gams. But, her peculiarly chivalrous colleague Tucker Carlton just could not seem to stand the very idea–of, perhaps, someone else eying his colleague’s sexy stems.

In an engaging segment on apps, Kurt “the CyberGuy” Knuttson discussed an app entitled EyeEm that had recently added a section for a user to market one’s photos.* Explaining how it worked, Kurt remarked, “Let’s say that Anna’s on the treadmill [vid] again and I get a shot of her legs and she agrees that I can now submit it for marketing: I can start making money with Anna and her pumps on the treadmill by an advertiser seeing that photo in the marketplace, and say, ‘Hey, we’d like to use that in our treadmill ad or whatever.'”

Like an overly protective brother or jealous secret admirer, Tucker animatedly retorted, “There’s just one problem is that she would NEVER agree to that!” Turning to Anna, he continued, “I happen to know. Would you!” As Kurt licked his lips knowingly, a reddening Anna giggled: Turning to the camera, she answered, “Actually, our viewers, we have a few viewers who post pictures like that online, anyway.” [Google images search: “Ann Kooiman’s legs.”]

Looking into the camera himself, Tucker prudishly declared, “This is really upsetting!”

Trying unsuccessfully to suppress a lascivious smile, Kurt deadpanned, “I would imagine. By the way, a lot of, a lot of questions coming in this morning–you would think about technology and other…topics of the day–but really people are asking, ‘What, what are the shoes?'”

Looking down at Anna’s sexy high heels for more than a moment, Tucker stammered, “Yeah, we’re, we’re not going to answer that: I’m going to step in and protect Anna from creepy questions like that.”

Flattered, Anna simply laughed in delight.

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 03/08/14 (@ 8:41 a.m. ET).

F&FW: Fox & Friends Weak

March 1, 2014

Anna, Clayton, and Somebody Else. Unfortunately, Fox & Friends Weekend is a feckless, flaccid iteration of its former self with Alisyn Camerota no longer at the helm. Now that the queen of the curvy couch has inexplicably and inanely been banished to FNC’s generic America’s News HQ weekdays, F&FW is sadly a ship without a captain.

Without Aly to plot a sure course each weekend for F&FW, there’s green newbie Anna Kooiman, flanked by tech geek/comics nerd co-host Clayton Morris and his alpha male mate Tucker Carlson one day or his Philadelphia cheesy mentor Mike Jerrick the next, trying her best to keep the listing boat afloat among the shoals. It is absurd: It is as if Bill Shine could not care less to craft a new F&FW identity with a certain crew on the manifest. Perhaps, he needs to remember his loyal F&FW viewers may not go elsewhere: But, they may just realize that they do not necessarily need the TV on as they embrace the day–and their weekend.

And, that may not be such a bad thing after all.

Kooiman: Jerrick Wishes For Kisses!

March 1, 2014

Anna: “That’s what [Mike] would like to think!” This morning, Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Anna Kooiman put priapic fill-in co-anchor Mike Jerrick in his place–at least, for the moment. The ever-randy Mike took advantage of his and Anna’s F&FW‘s penultimate segment featuring country singer Craig Campbell’s singing his new single, “Keep Them Kisses Comin’.”

Introducing Campbell, F&FW‘s favorite old goat bawdily remarked, “Now, Anna always says to me–she leans over in the commercial[s]–keep the kisses coming, Mike!”* Looking doubtfully at Anna who smilingly arched her eyebrow at Mike’s latest salacious fantasy, Campbell responded, “Wow!” Looking at the camera with a soupcon of derision, Anna aptly added, “That’s what he would like to think! But!”

Indeed. But, what’s new!

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 03/01/14 (@ 9:53 a.m. ET)