Banderas: Half-Naked…Promiscuous Big Bird

Patti Ann Browne: We’d like to see photos, Julie! FNC correspondent Julie Banderas bawdily spiced up her America’s Newsroom Halloween report this morning. After her story on a study showing Americans spending approximately $7 billion this year and more adults using the holiday as an escape, she saucily commented, “Patti Ann…the survey did not cover why it is [that] this is the time of year women decide to go out half-naked.”*

As a smiling AM guest co-host PAB reddened and an animated AM co-anchor Bill Hemmer chortled in the background, Julie added, “I mean, you do realize…if you look at look at women’s costumes online–I was looking at Elmo’s costumes [for daughter Addison Melissa]–I’m dressing up as Big Bird. A promiscuous Big Bird costume is all I could find.”

“Really?” an instantly intrigued PAB asked. “I’m not kidding!” Julie answered. Chuckling, Patti Ann spicily replied, “I didn’t know there was such a thing. But, we’d like to see photos, Julie!” Nodding, a grinning Julie responded, “No, it’s scary. I will show you.”

As PAB beamed and Bill began to randily reply, “That’s the,”, a suddenly demure Julie put up her hands and unconvincingly insisted, “No, I’m covering up: I’m not going to be one of the promiscuous Big Birds.”

Chuckling, Bill responded, “Banderas, that’s the funniest thing you’ve ever said.” As a somewhat chagrined Julie giggled, Bill concluded, “Really! Well played. See you later.” Succinctly, a smiling Juliet concurred, “Yeah!”

Halloween on Sesame Street: Banderas–a better bird.

*America’s Newsroom – 10/31/11 (@ 10:37 a.m. ET)

Update: When a Twitter follower asked if Julie’s hubby Andrew Sansone would go as Mr. Snufolupogus since she had said that she was going as Big Bird and Addison as Elmo, Julie teased, “It’ll b [sic] a surprise. I’ll post pics later!”

Gretchen: Let’s Not Go There!

Brian: “Dumbing it down for us.” Fox & Friends co-host Gretchen Carlson still seems to be smarting from Jon Stewart’s left-handed compliment almost two years ago. After an FNC correspondent compared the EU’s resolution of the Greek debt crisis to putting a three-year-old to bed this morning, F&F co-anchor Brian Kilmeade jested, “Right. Obviously, there’s a big push from people on the couch and away from the couch to down it down for us.”*

Apparently, still remembering the slight from the Comedy Central comedian that the Standford grad who won Miss America in 1989 as a classical violinist was playing the part of Chrissy Snow on F&F, Gretchen guffawed. Looking down and adjusting her hem, Gretchen groused, “Let’s not go there!” Beaming, Brian answered, “Yeah!”

But, we must.

*Fox & Friends – 10/28/11 (@ 6:08 a.m. ET)

Guilfoyle: My Catholic School Girl Outfit

Perino: No, not doing it. No! Rowr! Yesterday The Five‘s co-host Kimberly Guilfoyle scared her more Victorian co-anchor Dana Perino with her sexy selections of Halloween costumes. But, not surprisingly, she sent a thrill up the legs of her rakish male co-anchors, Greg Gutfeld, Bob Beckel, and Eric Bolling.

In the final The Five block, the co-hosts discussed two New Jersey schools that had banned students from wearing Halloween garb on the holiday. After Kimberly and Dana dissed the odd decisions, Greg goatishly interjected, “By the way, Kimberly, what…did you normally wear? Smiling seductively and pumping her hands as if they held pom poms, she answered, “I was a Notre Dame cheerleader. I still have the outfit and the pom poms!”

Seduced by their favorite former Victoria’s Secret model, Kimberly’s male co-anchors were enraptured. Priapically, Beckel queried, “Did you have a short skirt?” Grinning randily, Greg demanded, “You got to wear it on Halloween. You have to wear it this Friday.” Equally enamored, co-host Eric Bolling interjected, “This is a very important discussion topic we’ve been having. Are we going to wear Halloween costumes on Monday Halloween? Yes or no?”

Clearly enjoying the heightened testosterone that she had engendered, a beaming Kimberly chuckled. Meanwhile, perhaps, overly exercised, Beckel began to cough repeatedly. Turning to him with a smile, Kimberly teased, “Bob needs mouth-to-mouth again. Are you okay?”

Later, as the segment ended, Eric declared, “Email us at The Five. Tell us what you’d like each one of us, what costume each one of us…should wear.” Prudishly, Dana interjected, “No, not doing it! No!” As both Beckel and Greg enthusiastically agreed with Eric and the camera began to pan away, Kimberly provocatively concluded, “I could wear my Catholic school girl one!”

The Five‘s Halloween: as Glenn Frey once said, “the heat is on.”

Able Carlson Kills Cain?

Cain: No, abortion should not be a part of the political discussion. After ending Hank Williams, Jr.‘s two-decade-decade Monday Night Football tradition three weeks ago with a softball on partisan politics, has Fox & Friends co-host Gretchen Carlson killed Herman Cain’s campaign today with a similarly sympathetic question on abortion?

Today, in an F&F segment entitled “Cain’s Clarifications: Spelling Out Stances on Abortion & GITMO” segment, Gretchen and her F&F co-hosts, Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade, offered Cain an opportunity to rehabilitate himself with his socially conservative supporters still reeling after his Piers Morgan Tonight appearance. But, before their interview of Cain began, they ran an edited Piers Morgan clip of him saying, “It’s not the government’s role or anybody else’s role to make that decision: it ultimately gets down to a choice that that family or that mother has to make not me as President, not some politician, [and] not a bureaucrat.” Then, they aired Cain apparently recanting in an address, three days later, the Iowa Faith & Freedom Coalition, declaring, “I would not sign any legislation that in any way allowed the government to be involved in it. I would strengthen all of our current laws that prevent abortion. I believe that abortion should be clearly stated and illegal across this country.”

Subsequently, an apparently supportive and similarly equivocal Carlson posited, “I know you’ve had some difficulty with the abortion issue. Here’s my question for you this morning: Should abortion be a part of the political discussion?” Perhaps, lulled into a false sense of security on friendly territory like Williams, Cain confidently asserted, “No, it should not, quite frankly.” Risibly, he added, “But, my position is real clear, Gretchen, and it’s been consistent: I am pro-life. That first clip that you payed [sic], played was taken out of context.”

Doubtlessly, Cain may wish that abortion were not a “part of the political discussion” after receiving strong blowback from social conservatives. For example, fellow 2012 GOP Presidential contestant Rick Perry blasted Cain, saying, “Pro-life is not a matter of campaign convenience: it is a core conviction….It is a liberal canard to say I am personally pro-life but government should stay out of that decision. More acerbically, Santorum remarked, “It is unconscionable for Herman to run for the nomination of the Party that stands in defense of Life while showing disregard for the sanctity of  Life.”

Ouch. Cain could learn from another unscripted Presidential contender CEO without political experience. Instead of hobnobbing with the Donald in New York, he may want to consult with H. Ross in Texas. Otherwise, his rocket-like rise may well be aborted before it really even gets off the ground.

Halloween Treat: Aly’s Thong and Sext?

Clayton wants to know. Sexy Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Alisyn Camerota “discovered” how to rouse her lucky hubby anew this morning. During a “cheater-meter” segment today, relationship expert Dr. Karen Rushkin (author of Dr. Karen’s Marriage Manual), told Aly and her co-anchors Dave Briggs and Clayton Morris that traveling spouses were in a particular danger to stray: in response, Aly exclaimed, “My husband does that all the time. He travels all the time in his work.” Suggestively, she added, “As the dutiful wife, what am I supposed to do?”

In reply, Dr. Karen instructed, “Send a little sexy text.” No prude, Aly enthusiastically exclaimed, “That’s a good idea!” Interposing himself, Clayton unconvincingly pleaded, “Don’t send me that by mistake.”

Grinning puckishly, Dave interjected that Aly might want to ditch her usual sweats. When Aly turned to the doctor for her advice, Dr. Karen asked, “Are they big sweats? Is there a thong under those sweats?” Animatedly accepting her amorous hint, Aly enthused, “That’s a good idea!”

Subsequently, as the segment concluded with Aly and her co-hosts off camera, a naughty Clayton could be heard saying, “I want to find the answer to that question.” Apparently, Aly’s hubby is not the only one interested in Aly’s saucy texts and sexy lingerie. If Clayton and Aly’s other F&FW fans are lucky, maybe, she’ll share.

Probably not. But, Aly did ask her F&FW viewers for suggestions on what she should dress up for this Halloween. Perhaps, the Bristol Bay babe could be persuaded to dress up  as one of your FNC colleagues, Courtney Friel or Kimberly Guilfoyle, in their fun and frisky days: Remember, Courtney was a former Maxim bikini model and Kimberly was a Victoria’s Secret lingerie model!

Huckabee: “An Angry Phone Call from My Wife”

“Burkas would be a lot more popular if that were a burka.” In an appearance of Fox & Friends Weekend this morning, former Arkansas governor and erstwhile preacher Mike Huckabee, weighed in on politics, then he humorously dared to assay sexy fashion. Perhaps, to his detriment.

Huckabee, host of his eponymous FNC weekend show, may have heated things around his home hearth this morning with a rather racy remark on F&FW. After he was interviewed by co-hosts Alisyn Camerota, Dave Briggs, and Mike Jerrick about GOP candidates Herman Cain and Rick Perry, Dave teased an upcoming segment, asking, “And, why is Kim Kardashian wearing a burka?”* As a picture of a busty Kim practically spilling out of her strapless dress at the “Spin Crowd” premiere party appeared on screen, Aly exclaimed, “That’s not a burka!” Chuckling, Huckabee jested, “Burkas would be a lot more popular if that were a burka!”

As Aly laughed, Dave declared, “And, we will not have the governor weigh in on that.” Chortling, he rejoined, “I just did!” As the audio began to fade and the camera panned away, a grinning Huckabee remarked, “I’ll probably, I’ll get an angry phone call from my wife.”

Huckabee on Huckabee tonight?

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 10/15/11 (@ 8:39 a.m. ET)

Kimberly’s Sexy Secret?

Guilfoyle: Bob, do you want some mouth-to-mouth? The Five co-host and sexy former Victoria’s Secret lingerie model Kimberly Guilfoyle used her womanly wiles on co-anchor Bob Beckel to keep her own secret. And, he did not seem to mind in the very least.

In The Five‘s penultimate block about the BlackBerry outage, Bob complained that his co-hosts used their cell phones incessantly during the break. He groused, “Yes, I may talk to my bookie but you guys talk to thousands of different people.” Turning to Bob, Kimberly sniped, “Listen, Miss Britney Spears over here, not so innocent, because you know what else is coming in on that phone.”

Shaking his head with a goatish grin, Bob retorted, “Don’t get into that.” As she guffawed with gusto, Bob riposted, “If you do, if you do…you want to start opening that, that, that can? You want that can opened up, doe?” As Kimberly grabbed his arm and put her other hand over his mouth, she cooed, “Bob, you want some mouth-to-mouth?”

Pulling her hand away, a rakish Bob continued, “I don’t think you do! I don’t think you do.” Rolling her forefingers, Kimberly implored, “Go to break!” Beaming impishly, Bob replied, “You want to go to a break? I see. I bet you do after that. Oh, that was a mistake!” In response, an embarrassed Kimberly animatedly signaled Greg to proceed to commercial break.

As Greg began to read the tease, he stopped mid-sentence: Glancing back at Kimberly puckishly, he laughed, “See, that was your mistake!” Subsequently, after he had completed his tease and the camera began to pan away from them, Kimberly arched her eyebrows at Greg and shook her finger at him, mouthing, “You didn’t help me!”

No, Kimberly, Greg didn’t. Nor did he reveal your sexy secret. But, hopefully, he will!

*The Five – 10/13/11 (@ 5:53 p.m. ET)

Related Carpe Diem story: “Ann Coulter: We Look Fantastic Naked!“

The Five’s Beckel: Bolling Saved My Life

“You’re a reluctant hero, my friend.” A grateful The Five co-host Bob Beckel revealed yesterday that his conservative co-anchor “nemesis” Eric Bolling saved his life shortly before the show. After Bolling opened the program with a query about the latest GOP jobs bill, he turned to co-anchor Greg Gutfeld for his opinion. Grinning as if on cue, Gutfeld replied, “I can’t discuss this story until we acknowledge what happened this afternoon”: then, pointing to Beckel for the obligatory explanation, he said, “Bob.”

Looking down at the table soberly, Beckel replied, “I guess you can’t make these things up….I have a couple of people to thank. We were having a celebratory lunch for The Five, the kickoff of The Five, and I choked. Literally choked, I mean I couldn’t breathe at all.”

Continuing somberly, Beckel remarked, “And, the boss of bosses here at Fox, Roger Ailes, stood up and gave me the Heimlich [maneuver]….He couldn’t get his arms all the way around me but he loosened it up enough.” Putting his hand on Bolling’s shoulder, an appreciative Beckel stammered, “And, then my brother here saved my, my, my existence because he got it out.”

Then, as he added, “And, it’s been a long and rough day…but I want to thank everybody for what he did,” co-host Kimberly Guilfoyle tenderly carressed his arm. Subsequently, Beckel dutifully cautioned viewers not to eat too fast, particularly big shrimp as he had. Interjecting, Gutfeld exclaimed, “You scared the hell out of us!” Feeling “the love,” Beckel replied, “I know I did, and I apologize for that. But, anyway, let’s get moving on.”

However, before they did, Bolling got the crew to declare the day “Bob Day” and maternal co-anchor Dana Perino reminded Beckel that it is not so smart to cry “wolf.” Pointing her pencil at him and arching her eyes, she gently chided, “Remember…it was just a week ago when you and I were in Atlanta together where you faked a heart attack and I thought it was real. So, today I was like, ‘Uh, okay, what is he doing now? Okay.’ And, then I kept talking to the neighbor on my left, and then I realized it was real.” Adding a little levity, Perino declared that had Bolling not been there, she would have had “to drop the atomic elbow” on him.

Chuckling Bowling interposed, “Can we get back to jobs now?”” Looking over at Bowling thankfully, Beckel declared, “You’re a reluctant hero, my friend. You a reluctant hero.” Seemingly somewhat embarrassed, Bowling replied, “God bless. Thank God it all worked out great.”

Indeed. Glad you’re still with us, Bob! And, kudos, Eric, for saving the day–and Bob’s life!

Author’s aside: For The Five footage, cf. J$P Video.

Bocephus: Boycott F&F (and ESPN)

“That’s exactly what I said!” Unrepentant, rebel country music superstar Hank Williams affirmed his call for a boycott of FNC’s top-rated Fox & Friends in his latest release. In response to ESPN’s apparent axing of his long-standing Monday Night Football promo after a controversial “Fox & Friends” interview, Williams retaliated with “Keep the Change,” a free download to his fans. In his new record, Williams complains that F&F twisted his words: then, he acerbically lilts, “Yeah, you can keep Fox & Friends and ESPN out of your homes, too [because] Bocephus and all of his rowdy friends and his song are out of there. Yes, sir!”

Yesterday, Williams visited The View to make his “apology.” In the course of the virtual lovefest, Barbara Walters did him to task for his call for his call for a boycott of F&F and ESPN. After pointing out that ESPN (like ABC, the home of The View) was owned by Disney, she remarked, “But, you are now telling people that Fox & Friends and ESPN, other people should boycott them.” Rather than offer amends, a somewhat embittered Bocephus responded, “That’s exactly what I said!”

Later in the day, Williams appeared on FNC’s Hannity.* When co-host Sean Hannity mentioned his The View reception, Williams gushed, “Oh, it was fantastic!” Subsequently, when Hannity asked him about his departure from ESPN, he strangely failed to ask him about his call for a boycott of Fox & Friends. Perhaps, it was understandable. All in the FOX family?

As the interview began to conclude, Hannity commented, “You know what, I love football….I’m gonna miss your open.” With a glint in his eye, Williams responded, “Well, stand by for 2012. It’s a free country with lots of options and lots of choices.” Hannity replied, “So, in other words, we may not have heard the last of Hank Williams, Jr., on football?” Grinning, Williams answered, “We’ve been contacted today. The song is mine, Sean!”

Subsequently, smacking his ring forcefully on the desk, Williams continued, “Let’s talk about the poll. They had a poll…’who would you like to have on do the Monday Night [Football] 53% me!” Chuckling, Sean jested, “You don’t look as good as Faith Hill but she does Monday Night Football.” Williams replied, “No, no, no, no! But, that’s another network. But, there are other networks.” Hannity replied, “Yes, there are. Fox is one of them!” Shaking his head emphatically, Williams answered, “Uh, yeah!”

“Ready for some non-ESPN football,” FOX fans? The answer sounded pellucidly clear. Ready for some Fox & Friends? Bocephus ain’t!

Author’s aside: For a related Carpe Diem story, cf. “F&F’s Bizarre Bocephus: Obama Like Hitler?“

Rob: I Just Wanted to Punch Him in the Nose!

AM “Dream Team’r” Marciano: “I’m not a violent man, at least, not anymore.” This morning American Morning meteorologist Rob Marciano was not amused with his New York Yankees, especially, A-Rod. After AM co-host and Detroit Tiger uber fan Carol Costello had dogged him all morning about her team’s defeat of the his storied Yankees last night, Rob called in this morning, grousing but gracious–at least, to Carol.

In AM‘s final segment, producers got a disappointed Rob on the phone with an elated Carol and their could-barely-care-less co-host Christine Romans. Introducing the segment, Christine teased, “Well, the World Series championship number twenty-eight will have to wait. That’s right: the Detroit Tigers knocked the New York Yankees out of the playoffs last night. That’s why we bring in our very good friend Rob Marciano who has the day off but could not escape the I-told-you-so’s of the American Morning anchor team.”

Crowing, Carol remarked, “Yeah, like, you were supposed to be here in your Boston Red Sox uniform, Marciano! (Re his lost bet with Carol.) Bristling good-naturedly, Rob retorted, “I told you two weeks ago [that] I was taking the day off, and…it’s a dark day in the Marciano household. That’s for sure.”

Goading Rob on, Christine commented, “Rob, do you have anything to say Carol?” Rob stammered, “Um, well, I, I’m, I haven’t been watching”: I’m sure she’s been gloating. I’ll just say this to the Detroit Tigers: Congratulations.”

Then, manifestly miffed at Yankee star Alex Rodriguez who failed to deliver in both the seventh inning with the bases loaded and at the Yankees’ last-at-bat, Rob remarked, “Of course, you have to look at A-Rod. And, I’m not a violent man, at least, not anymore. And, I just wanted to punch him in the nose last night!”

No poppycock political correctness: Just American Morning‘s Rob Marciano at his candid, combative best. A CNN delight.

Too bad the ole boy is not on the apparent short list of the new “AM.” Speaking of which, his charming, debonair ebony twin T.J. Holmes would be a welcome addition, too. Then, if only CNN’s recently departed Aphrodite Kiran Chetry would come back to complete the American Morning “Dream Team.”

AM “Dream Team”: or, dream on?

Martha’s Slip Shows: Roger’s High “Five”

MacCallum right: The Five, Shine’s summer show permanent. Today, Fox News Chairman and CEO Roger Ailes confirmed what America’s Newsroom co-anchor Martha MacCallum let slip six days ago as reported by Carpe Diem: I.e., Fox News viewers will “be watching [co-hosts Andrea Tantaros and Bob Beckel] over the course of a year on The Five.” According to Fox News Insider, Ailes announced that “The Five has been picked up as a scheduled program for [FNC’s] 5 PM/ET time slot.

Once again, thanks for the tip, Martha, and, congrats, Five’rs!

H/t, J$P for the Tweet.

F&F’s Bizarre Bocephus: Obama Like Hitler?

[UPDATED, infra: “Bocephus going, gone.“] Hank Williams, Jr.: Obama/Boehner on the links “like Hitler playing golf with Netanyahu.” In a rather bizzare Fox & Friends interview today, country star Hank Williams, Jr., so compared President Barack Obama to Hitler. When pressed by co-host Brian Kilmeade, Williams dug himself in even deeper, surlily replying that Obama was “the enemy.” As the surreal promo for NFL Monday Night Football (and his illustrious deceased father‘s new release The Legend Begins) finally ended, relieved co-anchor Gretchen Carlson said, “I just want to say that we disavow any of those comments or analogies that he made. At least…the analogy between Hitler and the President.”

Interestingly, the segment began with Brian lauding Williams as “coming from country music royalty” and being the “voice of Monday Night Football for over twenty years” who “knows a little about politics, too.” Subsequently, co-host Steve Doocy enthusiastically welcomed Williams, exclaiming, “Joining us right now to break down the 2012 GOP field is country singer superstar Hank Williams, Jr. As he did, Bocephus sat back with his arms crossed and shook his head with a laugh. Somewhat incisively, Brian waggishly interjected, “Your body language says [to] leave you alone. Your hands are crossed. You’re shaking us off.”

Perhaps, in an adumbration of the fractious nature of the interview, Williams stuck out his tongue and uncrossed his arms, retorting, “Yeah, whatever. Yeah!” Then, he added, “I’d rather be there looking at Gretchen.”

Smiling, a flattered Gretchen cooed, “Good morning to you, too. Good morning to you, too. Let’s just have a little intimate discussion right here.” Ironically, prefacing her question, saying, “I’d love to pick your brain about politics….I’ll start with an easy question, she asked, “Who do you like in the GOP race?” Quite curtly, William answered, “Nobody!”

“Nobody?” Brian incredulously interposed. Williams nebulously responded, “You remember the golf game they had, ladies and gentlemen?…That was one of the biggest political mistakes ever. That turned a lot of people off.”

Trying to clarify his response for her F&F audience, Gretchen asked, “You mean when John Boehner played golf with President Obama?” Agitated, Williams answered, “Oh, yeah, yeah. And  [VP Joe] Biden and [OH Guv John] Kasich, yeah. Uh, huh.” Probing further, Gretchen queried, “What did you not like about it? It seems to be a really pivotal moment for you.”

Animatedly, Williams answered, “Come on, come on! That’d be like Hitler playing golf with Netanyahu. Okay? Not hardly!” As a stunned Gretchen meekly replied, “Okay,” Brian asserted, “I don’t understand that analogy actually. Arching his eyebrows in disbelief at Williams’ comment, Steve interjected, “Well, it’s, it’s out there.” Unrepentant, Williams snarked, “Well, I’m glad you [Brian] don’t, brother, because a lot of people do. You know, they’re the enemy. They’re the enemy.”

Stone-faced, Brian monotoned, “Who’s the enemy?” In response, Williams groused, “Uh, Obama! And, Biden. Are you kidding? The Three Stooges.” As Gretchen grimaced, Williams moved on, saying, “The one that makes the most sense is Herman Cain. Herman Cain makes more sense than any of them.”

Before segueing to the promo of Monday Night Football, Gretchen pressed Williams, saying, “One thing I’m gathering from your very emphatic statement this morning is that you are not a big fan of the parties coming together at all to kinda find compromise?” Looking at his watch and then crossing his arms over his chest again, Williams replied, “No. Come on….We’re more polarized than we’ve ever been, guys. You know it….I’m not going to sugarcoat it.”

Gretchen responded, “Well, you didn’t. You didn’t because…you used the name of one of the most hated people in all of the world to describe the, I think, the President.”

Smiling, Williams answered, “Well, that’s true. That is true. But, I’m telling you like it is. That…just wasn’t a good thing. It just didn’t fly.” He concluded, “Like Fred Thompson said, ‘You don’t want to ask me a question, because I’m gonna give you too straight of an answer. Let’s talk about something else.”

Later, when Williams had touted MNF and The Legend Begins three-disc compilation, Gretchen cheerfully bid him adieu, saying, “Hank Williams, have a great football season. Have fun at the game!” After he tersely replied, “Bye,” Gretchen concluded, “I just want to say that we disavow any of those comments or analogies that he made. At least, I’m going to say that–disavow the analogy between Hitler and the President.” As Steve nodded his concurrence with Gretchen, Brian derisively declared, “I asked him to define it.”

Define Bocephus’s analogy, Brian? At best, bizarre.

[Author’s aside: After Williams’ appearance, F&F guest comedian George Lopez joked, “In America, we love when we take somebody out….When [bin Laden] was taken out, [Obama’s] approval rating soared. So, I think it’s time to kill someone else…maybe, Hank Williams, Jr., after [Obama] sees the interview this morning.”* As Brian beamed and Steve laughed, a grinning Gretchen replied, “Uh, yeah!]

*Fox & Friends – 10/03/11 (@ 8:33 a.m. ET)

Update: Bocephus, going, gone. After Williams made his remarks, ESPN decided to can his Monday Night Football promo, “Are you ready for some football?,” for the night: In response, Williams conceded that his “analogy was extreme” but insisted that he had been misunderstood. Today, ESPN announced that the pull was permanent, saying, “We have decided to part ways with Hank Williams, Jr.” Striking back, Williams countered, “I have made MY decision. By pulling my opening Oct 3rd, You (ESPN) stepped on the Toes of the First Amendment Freedom of Speech, so therefore Me, My Song, and All My Rowdy Friends are OUT OF HERE.”

Juliet’s Amber Ring

“Engagement ring?” Strangely, Fox & Friends Weekend guest anchor Juliet Huddy wore her large amber ring on her true ring finger again today.” When a curious viewer inquired whether it was an “engagement ring,” she Tweeted, “Just a ring I bought myself. Doesn’t fit on other fingers.” Perhaps–today.

However, Juliet’s observant fans have seen her amber ring migrate from  her true “ring finger” on her left hand to the corresponding one of her right hand and back again repeatedly. For example, when she was reunited with her former TV hubby Mike Jerrick on F&FW on August 13 of this year, she wore the very same ring on her RIGHT hand.*

Obviously, the thrice-married and thrice-divorced Juliet knows full well the message that a ring on her left ring finger signals. Ergo, she may have fudged the truth a bit today. Yes, physiological factors may determine whether her amber ring fits on her right hand or her left on any given day: However, she may simply be sending somewhat subtle signals to her male admirers from day to day. I.e., “stay away” or “I’m still in play.”

Apparently, today, it was stay away. Or, at least, proceed with caution.

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 08/13/11 (@ 7:00 a.m. ET)

Juliet Returns Unrepentant: Slaps Paul Anew

Huddy: “Yellow belly” Ron Paul “Tutti Frutti,” too. In her first appearance on Fox & Friends Weekend after calling Ron Paul a “yellow belly” for not appearing on the O’Reilly Factor, Fox & Friends Weekend guest co-host Juliet Huddy doubled down on her abuse of libertarian icon Ron Paul.

During a segment subtitled “Ice Cream GOP,” co-hosts Clayton Morris, Dave Briggs, and Juliet read viewer emails pairing Republican contestants with ice cream flavors. After Dave had read one comparing Rick Perry to “Rocky Road” and Mitt Romney to cherry vanilla, Juliet chuckled, “Alright, this one’s funny: ‘Ron Paul [is] Tutti Frutti.'”* As Clayton guffawed and Dave laughed, “That’s not us,” a still “daring or ditzy” Juliet proclaimed, “I don’t think [that] Mr. Paul would find that funny: But, I do!”

Two hours later, Juliet apologized, “I’m sorry that I name called”: ironically, it was not to Ron Paul but to Janeane Garofolo. During the Fox News Sunday promo segment, producers had aired an FNC clip of Cain attributing his Florida straw poll victory to the fact that the “voice of the people is much more powerful than the voice of the media” and that the “message is more powerful than money”: afterwards, Juliet declared, “I have to say something. Remember, when we talked…about a month ago now about what Janeane Garofolo, that dope, was saying about him….It just shows the longer this goes on, the longer he’s able to speak, the more people are really listening to him.” Less than a minute later, she partially expiated, saying, “I’m sorry that I name called. She’s a bad actress.”

Apparently, Ron Paul will still have to wait for his “contrite” apology from Juliet. Even though the Hoboken honey received a reprieve from her fellow Jersey girl, F&FW‘s queen Alisyn Camerota, for calling Paul a “yellow belly,” she may well be pushing her luck. I.e., even though Juliet finds it funny to allude to Paul as “Tutti Frutti,” F&FW‘s Paul fans may not be laughing at her scorn: If not, Aly may be less and less forgiving in the future.

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 10/01/11 (@ 7:32 a.m. ET)
**Ibid at 9:34 a.m. ET.

F&FW: “Ace of Cakes” Folds

Clayton Morris: “We had some issues.” Fox & Friends Weekend guest Duff Goldman, star of Food Network’s “Ace of Cakes,” apparently, could not stand the proverbial heat this morning: the celebrated chef, a James Beard Foundation two-time award nominee, got out of the F&FW kitchen this morning without any explanation to his fans. Rather, he left F&FW co-anchor Clayton Morris uncomfortably covering for him and F&FW co-host Dave Briggs seemingly steamed. (Meanwhile, co-anchor Alisyn Camerota commiserated with her two “work hubbies.”)

Mid-show today, Dave promised Aly and his viewers something that he unfortunately could not deliver. As the second hour started, Aly said that she needed a “rewards system” to help her do the show: in response, Dave said, “Well, there’s cupcakes later.”* When a “surprised” Aly asked, “There’s cupcakes later?,” Dave confidently declared, “Cupcakes later. So, no problem. 9:50!”

When 9:43 a.m. ET arrived, Dave’s pledge seemed secure. As F&FW was about to go to commercial, the camera zoomed in on a goofing Goldman, who held up his white cupcake, fingered the icing, and then licked his digit with delight. As he did, Aly asserted, “And, he’s known for his crazy cake creations….Next up, Duff Goldman here to sweeten up our morning.”

In the next segment, Dave presided over a Media-Matters-versus-Fox-News story (with Left Turn: How Liberal Media Bias Distorts the American Mind author Tim Groseclose). As that block ended, Dave teased, “Coming up, you know him as the “Ace of Cakes,” Food Network star Duff Goldman here next taking on the Big Apple. This ought to be delicious.” Ominously, the camera panned over a table with cooked cupcakes and icing tubes with chef Goldman nowhere in view.

When F&FW returned after the ad break, Clayton stated, “Welcome back to Fox & Friends.” Appearing rather irritated, he loudly tore his stapled green card (apparently, segment notes and questions) showily from his papers while both Aly and Dave grimaced. Then, as Dave and Aly looked on somewhat sheepishly, Clayton remarked, “Hey, kids out there, if you were tuning in because you wanted to see Duff Goldman from the Food Network. The Food Network here was going to be cooking up some, some different.” As a distracted Clayton seemed to be momentarily at a loss for words, Aly offered, “Cupcakes”: An appreciative, Clayton concluded, “Cupcakes and different things.”

Then, in what appeared to be an obvious diversion for the viewer from Goldman’s absence, Clayton muttered, “Um” as he reached toward his inner right coat pocket. As he did (even though Clayton’s voice was clearly audible), Dave queried, “Where’s you microphone?” Aly echoed, “Wait! What did you do with your microphone?” As Clayton pulled it from his pocket, Dave chuckled, “Let, let’s put that on before we address the audience.”

Feigning surprise seemingly, Aly stated, “Wow. You, you keep your microphone in your pocket….I never knew that.” After attaching it to his lapel, a grinning Clayton stroked it and jested, “I like to keep him warm. You okay, Buddy? You okay, Buddy?” As Aly chuckled, Dave commented, “It was the cupcakes that really rattled you.” Concurring, Aly added, “Yeah.”

Finally, returning to the matter at hand, Clayton quickly concluded, “Anyway, we had an issue: We had a baking snafu. And, we had some issues. So, you’re not going to be seeing that.” Shaking her head, Aly jested, “So, don’t sugarcoat it for us.” Beaming, Dave exhorted, “Yeah, don’t sugarcoat it.” But, apparently, Clayton had done just that.

After the show, Dave seemed to be still smarting from Goldman’s apparent slight. He Tweeted, “RT @Duff_Goldman: Hey kids, turn on Fox & Friends. I’m doing something on there. I don’t know what, yet….” Sardonically, Dave sniped, “Still waiting….”

So are Fox & Friends Weekend fans. At least, for the actual account, Clayton. As Dave exhorted, “Don’t sugarcoat it.”

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 10/01/11 (@ 8:01 a.m. ET)