Romans’ “No Ring” Circus

Trampoline Bear abused anew? Friday Early Start guest co-host Christine Romans reached back into her ignoble American Morning past when she once again reveled in the seeming sadism of Shepard Smith’s “Trampoline Bear” video. As she concluded ES with one final headline news story, Christine cheerfully noted, “Check out this awesome photo taken after police hit a bear in a tree with a tranquilizer dart….Campus police say he landed safely…on some mats [that] they pulled from the rec center.” After showing a pic of the bear suspended in midair above a mattress, Christine gleefully exclaimed, “Reminds us of this classic from Missoula, Montana, back in 2003: It’s the bear [that] fell out of the tree after getting another tranquilizer dart..”

Taking their cue, ES producers ran a snippet of the infamous video of the Trampoline Bear, a Missoula black bear falling onto a trampoline under a tree, being propelled high into the air, barreling headfirst into the unyielding ground, and then crumpling under its own weight. In response, Ashleigh chortled and then “sympathetically” said, “Oooh!” As producers ran the odious footage again in a loop, Christine quickly asserted, “Now come on! That looks like a hard fall! We promise he was fine, he was fine!”

Unconvinced, her ES co-anchor Ashleigh Banfield declared, “It does look like a hard fall. It does look like a hard fall!” Icily, Christine cooed, “They are so relaxed! They are so relaxed.” Ashleigh jested, “Wouldn’t you be with a tranquilizer dart? Uh, yie, yie!”

Belying her earlier assurances with a certain Schadenfreude, Christine deadpanned, “Oh, the headache later, you wouldn’t believe it!”

No worries, Early Start viewers, Trampoline Bear “was fine: He was fine!” At least, so promises CNN’s Christine Romans. Again.

[Author’s aside: The “‘no ring’ circus” reference in the title was a playful allusion to married ES co-hosts Christine and Ashleigh’s noticeably bare ring fingers Friday.]

Sexy Maria Molina: Her Subliminal “Phallic” Map?

Risque Clayton: “That graphic–Loch Ness, or Loch Ness monster.” FNC meteorologist Maria Molina‘s caused a titillating stir this morning on Fox & Friends Weekend with her seemingly bawdy weather report map. In character, co-anchors Clayton Morris and Dave Briggs reacted to the single beauty’s “graphic” graphic with a few colorful, carnal comments as their guest co-host Juliet Huddy tittered and blushed.

During her final third-hour weather forecast, Maria concluded her segment with a “Today’s Severe Threat” map (with the effected area looking eerily like an erect phallus).* As she tossed back to the F&FW co-hosts, Juliet Huddy giggled and Clayton suggestively remarked, “That graphic” before adding after a pregnant pause “Loch Ness, or Loch Ness monster.” Joining in the fun, Dave racily jested, “Or something!” Embarrassed, Maria chuckled and shook her head: with a twinkle in her eye, she put her left hand on her hip and arched her left eyebrow at the naughty lads.

Meanwhile, as Maria and the boys had their ribald revelry, a reddening Juliet took off her sexy librarian reading glasses as she tittered and coyly ducked her head. Grinning, a rather appreciative Dave concluded, “Thank you, Maria!”

Sexy Maria’s subliminal “phallic” map: an innocent mistake? Perhaps. Or, perhaps, not.

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 04/29/12 (@8:40 a.m. ET)

MacCallum & Hemmer: “Bride & Groom”?

America’s Newsroom’s beauty in black and her bad boy in tux. Single America’s Newsroom co-anchor Bill Hemmer and his recently “ringless” co-host Martha MacCallum a hot item? Intentionally or not, Bill may have stoked the rumor fires this morning when he mentioned his “big night” with Megyn last night and gave a “personal shout-out” to his FNC colleague Geraldo Rivera (who was the guest of honor at a NYC Open Gate fundraiser/cruise last night) and his wife Erica as AN concluded.* Subsequently, after producers had aired a photo of Geraldo and Erica together at the New York harbor dinner charity cruise (hosted by FNC head honcho Roger Ailes and his wife Beth for them and other FNC luminaries), they then showed an al fresco pic of Martha in her beautiful black dress and Bill in his black-tie tux posing together with the NY harbor in the background. When Bill saw the photo of the two of them beaming side-by-side, he chuckled and exclaimed, “Oh, my gosh! There’s the bride and groom!”

Perhaps, in an attempt to tamp down any resultant rumors, Martha immediately remarked, “I thought it was James Bond. It’s you, though, in a self-tied bow tie…. You took that great picture of Erica and Geraldo. And, I think you should, maybe, be available for weddings because that’s a beautiful shot of them.”

Martha, be careful for what you wish. Bill might just be available for a wedding. After all, he did once opine to his former AM co-host Megyn Kelly (as a guest on her America Live show in a pertinent discussion) that he did not see anything wrong with office romance if it did not interfere with the lovers’ work.

Bill, see what you have started!

*America’s Newsroom – 04/26/12 (@ 10:59 a.m. ET)

Gutfeld & Five Gals: Slap Young “F U” Turk Back?

Greg: “Lots of lonely feminist bloggers are trying to ravish me.” Without referring to Young Turks co-host and Examiner.com writer Ana Kasparian by name, Five‘s co-anchor Greg Gutfeld appeared to slap her back yesterday for her caustic “F*** you” comment to him on her show the day before. And, his Five lady co-hosts Dana Perino and Kimberly Guilfoyle had his back.

As Mediaite‘s Tommy Christopher chronicled, Kasparian “took major exception” Tuesday to a Gutfeld joke on the Five last Friday that N.O.W. had outlived its usefulness because women “can shop” now. When she reviewed the Five snippet on her program Tuesday, Kasparian decried Gutfeld’s comment as “sexist” and then acerbically exclaimed, “F*** you!” Apparently, Gutfeld was listening, or perhaps, more likely, read Christopher’s piece (which included the YT vid).

During a Five segment yesterday on the Secret Service Columbian prostitute scandal, co-host Perino referred to the phrase, “Wheels up and rings off” that she (a former Bush White House Press Secretary) used to hear “when we would go on trips.”* In response, Gutfeld jested, “When I travel, I put my wedding ring on because…usually when I go to foreign countries, lots of lonely feminist bloggers are trying to ravish me: And, the only way I can fight them off is by [sic] to tell them that I’m married.” Offering her FNC colleague distaff support, Perino curtly commented, “And, they really don’t have a sense of humor, those ladies!” Joining in the seeming push-back on Kasparian, Guifoyle sneered, “Yeah, they’ve missed a few things recently.”

Rowr! Greg and his Five gal pals: no shrinking violets.

*The Five – 04/25/12 (@ 5:40 a.m. ET)

Megyn Kelly: Jon Stewart “Mean and Unfair”

“What? Was that out loud?” Apparently, America Live anchor Megyn Kelly is no big fan of Daily Show host Jon Stewart, who has taken several acidic shots at her (e.g., her maternity leave and contraception coverage positions). In fact, Megyn dubbed the Comedy Central comedian “mean and unfair.”

In an AL panel discussion on the wisdom of President Obama’s appearing on comedy talk shows, Megyn questioned whether Jimmy Fallon would aggressively challenge the President on the issues in his appearance tonight on Fallon’s Late Night show. One of the panelists, humorist  Scott Blakeman responded, “I don’t know, but…Jon Stewart–who took my comedy class actually and he’s…a great guy…and Jon is a liberal like myself–gave…the hardest interview [that] President Obama has ever had….So, comedians can ask even better questions that even journalists sometimes.”*

With a sardonic smile, Megyn stammered, “I think, just FYI, I think, I think Jon Stewart needs to go back to your class and needs a refresher on how to do comedy, on how to do comedy–as opposed to being mean and unfair.”

In response to Megyn’s acerbic remarks, Blakeman insisted, “No, no, he’s great. He’s great. He’s very funny.” Continuing, he maintained, “No, no, he’s very funny. He’s a nice Jewish guy like me.”

Sensing that Blakeman’s adamant defense with unassailable by her distaff suasion, Megyn sweetly smiled and coyly chuckled, “What? Was that out loud? Huh? What? Sour grapes, anyone?”

Grapes or not, Stewart’s disses have seemingly left a sour taste in Megyn’s mouth.

*America Live – 04/24/12 (@ 2:38 p.m. ET)

Molly Henneberg: Back From Maternity Leave

Molly: “Baby Jacquelyn…I miss her.” Today, FNC correspondent Molly Hennenberg was warmly welcomed back from her maternity leave by Happening Now co-anchor Jenna Lee. After Molly’s report (on Defense Secretary Leon Panetta’s controversial trips home), Jenna queried, “Molly, where have you been by the way? Welcome back! It’s been a while since we’ve seen each other.”* Radiant, Molly answered, “Thank you, Jenna and Jon [Scott]….It’s so good to see you both. I’m back from maternity leave. And, it’s wonderful to see everybody again.”

Meanwhile, as HN producers ran a pic of Molly holding her darling new daughter, Jenna inquired, “We have some photos just to share with our viewers so they know we’re not kidding. You have a cute little baby there….What’s her name?” Joyfully, Molly proclaimed, “Baby Jacquelyn. Her name is Jacquelyn Amanda. And, I miss her, and she’s just the sweetest little baby.”

Subsequently, as a second photo of a lone blue-eyed, brown-haired Jaquelyn in her pretty pink lace dress and then a third of her with her proud papa [Marine Capt. Chris Nagel] at the park aired,  Molly animatedly remarked, “Thanks for putting up the pictures of me. First-time mom knows, it’s, it’s a joy!” In response, perhaps, eagerly anticipating her own future maternal bliss with her new military stud hub [Navy SEAL Leif Babin], Jenna declared, “I love the picture of your husband and your little girl in matching sunglasses….That’s a great shot….The little girl is darling.”

Your “new Redskins fan” is darling indeed, Molly. Congratulations to you and Chris!

*Happening Now – 04/24/12 (@ 12:53 p.m. ET)

Update: For the second and third photos of Jaquelyn, supra, cf. Fox News Insider here.

Ogled Gretchen Gives Brian & Geraldo a Time-Out

Bawdy Brian: “You just showed you could go down if you had to.” Today, Fox & Friends co-host Gretchen Carlson became the sensual cynosure of a rather appreciative cameraman, apparently, and two of her more randy colleagues. As F&F’s final hour began, the very first shot was centered on Gretchen’s breasts: As she began to speak, the camera finally focused on her face. When it did, a reddened Gretchen exclaimed, “Oopsy, Daisy!” Generously, she jested, “Scott thought that we were going, we were on Saturday break already. That’s okay: it Friday.”

Then, after some idle chatter between her co-hosts Brian Kilmeade and Steve Doocy, Gretchen chimed, “By the way, Scott, that was probably my fault. Wasn’t it? Because I was putting my coffee down like this.” After recreating the scene for her audience of her placing her coffee on the floor and then trying to explain that Scott accidentally got the risque shot as he was following her, she declared, “Throw me underneath the bus, not Scott. Fantastic camera operator behind camera two. Let’s give him a hand.”

As Gretchen and Steve dutifully clapped, an abstaining Brian comically commented, “You know what I like? I liked the way Scott, as you [Gretchen] reenact it, Scott followed you.” Then, priapically, he proclaimed, “So…you just showed [that] you could go down if you had to.” As the producers interjected an “oy,” Gretchen exclaimed, “What!” Feigning innocence, Brian unconvincingly explained, “You could pan down if you had to.” Echoing his hapless male co-anchor in support, Steve interposed, “He’s following. He’s, he’s paid to follow.” With widened eyes at Brian’s ribald remark, an unpersuaded Gretchen gaped and then pursed her lips in disbelief.

Meanwhile, off camera, regular guest and FNC anchor Geraldo River exclaimed, “Can we get this show on the road?” After Gretchen cheerfully concurred, Geraldo sidled up next to Scott, teasing,  “How hard is it to point and shoot?” As Brian howled, Geraldo goatishly grabbed the camera, panning a chagrined Gretchen from foot to head. Ogling Gretchen, Geraldo joshed, “You [Scott] always get like the ladies’ legs and everything–the leg shot. I like that!”

Seemingly aghast, Steve chided, “Geraldo!” Unrepentant, Geraldo approvingly asserted, “He gets the Miss America shot!” Beaming, Brian declared, “That is the Geraldocam, suddenly.” Laughing with his characteristic machismo, Geraldo replied, “That’s right.” After the boys had their fun, a flattered Gretchen took her hand from her mouth and declared, “Geraldo, you are going to time-out with Brian!” “Chastened,” Geraldo concurred, “That’s right!”

Subsequently, after Gretchen had read the headline news and as Geraldo’s eponymous Geraldo at Large promo segment (including an apology to Brian re their disagreement on Afghanistan exit plan) concluded, Steve quipped, “Geraldo Rivera…you think that you’ll be back to apologize next week?” Chuckling, Geraldo replied, “I don’t know. I don’t know. Maybe, that leg comment about Gretchen.” Arching her left eyebrow suggestively, Gretchen purred, “Not, no, no offense taken!”

F&F Friday: “The boys are back in town!” And, Gretchen doesn’t mind a bit.

Gretchen & Casey: Still Close?

Carlson: “Not a good thing to say on tv even if you were thinking it!” Today, Fox & Friends co-host Gretchen Carlson appeared to provide grist for the gossip mill this morning about the state of her union with her hubby Casey Close (New York Yankee star Derek Jeter’s agent). If so, she can blame it on former Bill Clinton pollster and current GOP strategist Dick Morris.

During a political F&F segment on the Presidential race, Morris posited that undecided voters and likely decided voters tended to flip against the incumbent at the end of the election process: Illustrating his point with a smile, Morris remarked, “I’ve said this before with Gretchen. I asked her, “You gonna be married to the same guy next year?”* As Gretchen closed her eyes and rolled her head with a dismissive laugh, Morris continued, “And, she said, ‘Yes.’ When Gretchen softly echoed, “Yeah,” a grinning Morris concluded, “But, if she had said [that] she was undecided, I don’t think that would have been good about her marriage.”

With arched eyebrows, Gretchen declared, “Yeah, also, not a good thing to say on national tv even if you were thinking it!” Interjecting, co-anchor Brian Kilmeade deadpanned, “Right, she will say it in the break.” In response, Morris chuckled heartily.

Mighty Casey is at bat again: Home-run or strikeout? Gretch makes the Closeville call. Off-air.

*Fox & Friends – 04/18/12 (@ 6:40 a.m. ET)

Censored Camerota: Pics Reappear! [Updated]

Aly: “The producers couldn’t find my picture.” Twice, Fox & Friends Weekend featured prom photos of co-anchors Dave Briggs, Clayton Morris, and Alisyn Camerota during a “Pricier Proms” report. When the first story ran, producers showed young bucks Dave and Clayton and their respective dates and then an apparently Photoshopped “Amish” adult Aly all alone. However, when they ran the narrative anew, they finally included a real prom photo of a sassy solo Aly–supplied by an apparent Aly acolyte.

When F&F producers omitted Aly’s prom pic from the original report that included those of Clayton, Dave, and, their dates, Aly remarked, “The producers couldn’t find my picture. I have it. I’ll bring it in next weekend.”* What she failed to mention was that they should have it because she had posted two prom pics on her former F&F blog, In the Greenroom. Perhaps, she did not want to explain that FNC had inexplicably deleted her “80’s Photos” post that contained both of them (not to mention other fun 80’s photos including her proudly displayed ’80’s “abs” bikini shot).

However, one Aly Twitter follower was too impatient to await Aly’s promised delivery next weekend. Tweeting a pic of her in a white off-the-shoulder lace top and a crushed purple velvet skirt, he queried, “What is this, Aly? ;-)” Cagily, she responded, “Wow!! Where, pray, tell, did you get it??” With some alacrity, he answered that he had found an “AC fan group with many off-camera photos” and subsequently sent her the other prom pic (with her date). Praising her devotee, she sweetly asserted, “You’re the best! And very resourceful ;-).”

Meanwhile, after Aly’s Twitter follower had sent her the first prom pic and before he  had sent the second, producers ran the “Pricier Proms” story again.** After the F&W boys pics aired again, Clayton announced, “Now, a viewer, actually–because Aly didn’t find her photo–a viewer found a photo of you and sent it in.” Aly answered, “Yes, because I, I knew that my prom photo had been on our show before. So, I’m assuming this viewer got it from the show and not from my own photo album.”

More plausibly, Aly, your F&FW fan probably did get it from your photo album. Just not your personal one: rather, the one that FNC apparently could not completely censor. Happily.

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 04/15/12 (@ 7:43 a.m. ET)

**Ibid at @ 9:38 a.m. ET.

Update (04/16/12): Aly’s prom photo displayed yesterday was one of the In the Greenroom now censored pics: it was not, as Aly speculated, from its initial airing on 07/02/2008. The photo yesterday showed her left hand atop a piano bench: however, the ’08 shot was cropped (i.e., a “Back to the80’s” banner overlaid it). Fox & Friends weekday (07/02/2008) – @ 8:37 a.m. ET.

Fox & Friends First: Ainsley’s “Soleful” Cry

Wherefore art thou, Juliet? Poor Ainsley: only one pair of shoes? Fox & Friends First co-host Ainsley Earhardt bedecked herself beautifully this week in five different dresses of cheery color: After all, it was the traditional beginning of spring.* However, she did make one fashion faux pas: she appeared to wear the very same pair of shoes (Crayola peach-colored closed-toe high heels) all week.**

To make matters worse, the author can not recollect Ainsley ever having worn another pair of shoes on F&FF since it’s inception. In fact, Ainsley appeared to be wearing the very same stilettos on the debut of F&FF–AND the day before in an F&FF promo (on the regular weekday Fox & Friends). Ainsley’s “soleful” cry for help?

If so, Ainsley has, at least, one F&FF co-host who is more than qualified to give her guidance, i.e., Juliet Huddy, who would probably prefer to die than to be caught in the same pair of shoes even two days in a row. Even though Juliet may not want to put Ainsley in Manolo Blahniks or Christian Louboutins quite yet, she could introduce her to a Huddy foot fun fave, the Naughty Monkey. Anything new!

Time to go shoe shopping, Ainsley. And, take Juliet with you. After all, what are “Friends” for?

*Fox & Friends First – 04/09/12 (@ 5:59 a.m. ET); F&FF – 04/10/12 (@ 5:59 a.m. ET); F&FF – 04/11/12 (@ 5:59 a.m. ET); F&FF – 04/12/12 (@ 5:59 a.m. ET); andF&FF – 04/13/12 (@ 5:59 a.m. ET)

**Ibid.

“Don’t Sleep with T. J. Holmes”: BET or Marilee?

BET’s T. J. Holmes is not returning to CNN as he puckishly indicated Wednesday on Twitter: Rather, the former American Morning Adonis is staying with BET and he will finally have his new show. Yesterday, BET announced the advent of T.J.’s provocatively-dubbed program, Don’t Sleep with T. J. Holmes, to its advertisers at a Los Angeles preview for its advertisers yesterday according to Richard Prince’s Journal-isms. In a show promo, BET described Don’t Sleep as a comedic/political program (akin to Comedy Central’s Daily Show with Jon Stewart) and promised viewers that it “is not your mama’s late-night talk show.”

Congratulations, T. J.!

[Author’s aside: Re the mention of “Marilee” in the title of this article, Marilee nee Fieburg is the name of T. J.’s beautiful beloved “Mrs. Holmes.”]

BET’s T. J. Holmes: Just a Joke?

CNN’s Don Lemon: @tjholmes could u please stop messing with people Don. I mean Tj.”*  Yesterday, BET’s T. J. Holmes seemingly pulled a fast one on his Tweeps–at least this one. He Tweeted, “On a flight w/ my old CNN boss. We’re negotiating my return. But cant [sic] figure out how me & @donlemoncnn can coexist w/out confusing viewers!” Less than an hour later, he added, “I expect to announce to you all this week some news about my future.” As a result, the author reported that “T. J. Holmes indicated that he is leaving BET after a very brief ‘stint’ there and going back to his home at the self-proclaimed ‘most trusted name in news’ network.” [Italics added for emphasis.]

Unfortunately, T. J. was apparently fooling around with the affections of his CNN fans if his latest announcement is to be believed: Today, he Tweeted, “Big day n LA! I get 2 reveal a secret I’ve been holding on 2 for a while: the title of my new show on BET. But I’ll tell u 1st, of course.”

Stay tuned–to BET. Are you sure, T. J.?

*[Author’s aside (re the subtitle of this article): Yesterday, after Carpe Diem posted the author’s article entitled, “T. J. Holmes: We’re Negotiating My [CNN] Return,” CNN anchor Don Lemon Tweeted, “@tjholmes could u please stop messing with people Don. I mean Tj. Whatever ur name is. Lol.” (In reply, T. J. wrote, “[T]hat’s a good one! Ha.”) Perchance, rather than merely jesting at the odd running joke that the two look alike, Don was also chastising T. J. for his possible practical joke on his CNN fans.]

Gretchen’s Confession: One-Time Run-in w/ Beer

“That was it!” Today, Fox & Friends co-anchor Gretchen Carlson explained her current disdain for a good cold brew. After a segment tease that beer made men smarter than their sober friends, Gretchen declared, “The worst part of that study is that I’m going to have to start liking beer.”*

In response, her co-host Brian Kilmeade quizzically queried, “You don’t like beer at all?” Rolling her eyes at him peevishly, Gretchen replied, “You, how many years have you known me?” Defensively, Brian stammered, “Well, I, but I mean, do you, I know you like one but you don’t like beer? I didn’t know you had a dislike of, of beer.”

Chuckling first at Brian seeming discomfort and then looking into the camera innocently, Gretchen admitted, “Yeah, I had a one-time run-in with beer. That was it!” “Really?,” asked a seemingly skeptical Brian. “Mm, hmm,” replied Gretchen tersely.

Arching his eyebrows playfully, Brian declared, “Mine was with tequila!” As Gretchen chuckled heartily, co-anchor Steve Doocy smilingly interjected, “Who hasn’t had one of those!” Turning to Steve, Gretchen questioned, “Since this is confession now, what was yours?”

Before Steve could reply, Brian chorused, “Steve, have you had a run-in with anything that kept you away forever?” In answer, Steve jested, “Uh, let me put it this way, when…on Capitol Hill…they’ve been talking about the Buffett Rule, I thought they were talking about the Jimmy Buffet Rule which means less than four margaritas probably a good idea.”

F&Ff: Fox & Friends fun. Whether the old saw, “Confession is good for the soul,” is true or not, it was good for a laugh or two today. “Bottoms up,” Gretchen!

Fox & Friends – 04/12/12 (@ 7:01 a.m. ET)

T. J. Holmes: We’re Negotiating My [CNN] Return

It’s American Morning at CNN again? This morning, former CNN anchor T. J. Holmes indicated that he is leaving BET after a very brief “stint” there and going back to his home at the self-proclaimed “most trusted name in news” network. He Tweeted, “On a flight w/my old CNN boss. We’re negotiating my return.” Later, he wrote, “I expect to announce to you all this week some news about my future.”

Less than four months after bidding his CNN Newsroom weekend viewers adieu (to be a BET “multi-platform” jounalist), is T. J. back to save day for CNN–or, at least, the dawn? CNN honcho Ken Jautz must now be ruing his ill-considered decision to ditch his cellar-dweller morning show American Morning. As the ratings of his 2012 AM replacement shows, Early Start and Starting Point, have tanked (lowest in over a decade), Jautz may be thinking that he probably should have given his original plan more time, i.e., to possibly permanently pair T. J. with former AM anchor Kiran Chetry.

Whether it is “Morning in America,” may depend on one’s political point of view. But the return of the erstwhile trial T. J. and Kiran team would certainly help make it a brighter “American Morning” at CNN. And, AM  fans, T. J.’s return would certainly constitute Kiran’s long-awaited “very special opportunity.”

Update: Apparently, BET’s T. J. Holmes was pulling a practical joke on his CNN fans and Twitter followers. Cf. CarpeDiem’s “BET’s T. J. Holmes: Just a Joke?”

Courtney Friel Delivers: Baby Cameron Kaiulani

“These contractions hurt!…She’s here!” FNC (and Fox 11 KTTV) entertainment reporter Courtney Friel joyfully announced the arrival of her newborn daughter Cameron Kaiulani Evans early this morning–only thirty-five minutes after she gave birth! After chronicling her labor experiences for her fans yesterday and earlier today,* a relieved Courtney joyfully Tweeted (at approximately 2:56 a.m. PST), “She’s here!” Subsequently, she reported that Cameron weighed seven pounds ten ounces; measured twenty-one inches; and was” born at 2:21 a.m. PST April 6th.”

Cameron is also welcomed by both her father CNN Newsource national biz reporter Carter Evans and her one-year-old brother Cash Hudson.

Congratulations, Courtney and Carter!

* Courtney’s labor Tweets included her hospital admittance; her water breaking; her medicine taking: her pain (“these contractions hurt! prefaced with a few expletives), her epidural, her TV fare, her hunger; and her long wait.

“Eagle” Eye: “TV’s Andy Levy” Nails Ann Coulter

Coulter’s Reagan slips: “Demonic” or ignorant? Oops! Conservative author and Mitt Romney backer Ann Coulter may be able to get away with GOP misinformation, artful or inadvertent, with Fox & Friends co-hosts Brian Kilmeade, Steve Doocy, and Gretchen Carlson but not with Red Eye‘s ombudsman “TV’s Andy Levy.” Rather, Levy nailed Coulter today and she knew it.

Three days ago, Coulter told the credulous F&F co-anchors that Ronald Reagan pulled out of his losing (1976) GOP Presidential campaign early a la Mitt Romney in 2008:* And, she indicated that Rick Santorum should follow suit now. Only problem: Ronald Reagan took his bid to the GOP convention where he narrowly lost on the first vote in a hard-fought floor fight.

Today, Coulter iterated her F&F argument to Red Eye anchor Greg Gutfeld, sidekick Bill Schulz, and RE panelists. Unfortunately, for Coulter, RE‘s fact checker Levy was listening. During Levy’s “Halftime Report,” he asked Coulter about Reagan’s taking his bid all the way to the convention.** Looking dumbfounded, Coulter obfuscated: Instead of vainly defending her erroneous assertion, she muttered that Reagan had convinced a conservative group (CPAC) not to back a third-party candidate and had campaigned for President Ford (and that Romney had exited early). Fortunately, for Coulter, Levy merely pressed her a mite more and compassionately moved on.

Catching Ann Coulter’s Reagan gaffes? Brickbats for Brian, Steve, and Gretch. But, bravo, Andy!

*Fox & Friends – 04/02/12 (@ 3:13 into Fox News Insider vid)

**Red Eye – 04/05/12 (@ 3:35 a.m. ET)

Update: For Red Eye “Halftime Report vid, link here.

Gretchen: “Unless You’d Like Me Nude” Again

Brian: How many people want to see Gretchen naked? FBN anchor Stuart Varney, for one, apparently. Fox & Friends co-host Gretchen Carlson got FBN’s biz brain all excited this morning as the “naked” weather gal this morning. And, he was ready for an encore!

Immediately, before Varney’s appearance, Gretchen and co-anchor Brian Kilmeade did the weathercast (since co-anchor and Kansas Jayhawks FAN Steve Doocy had been “forced” to do sports and report the Kentucky NCAA championship victory over Kansas).* Initially, Brian stepped before the “weather wall” and asked Gretchen to join him as his assistant. Waving her in, Brian rakishly queried, “How many people want to see Gretchen naked? Let’s make this thing happen!” Exclaiming, “What!,” Gretchen sashayed to join him at the green “weather wall” in her  similarly colored dress.” When her dress became invisible, she began to seductively dance a la a cinematic Arabian harem girl. In response, Brian joked, “Finally, the ghost of Mrs. Muir to 1968!”

Subsequently, Gretchen and Brian joined Steve on the curvy couch for their interview of Varney on the GSA Vegas party brouhaha. As Varney’s segment concluded, Brian teased FBN’s Varney & Co. and then Steve jested, “Do you need Brian and Gretch to come help you with weather?” Without a scintilla of hesitation, Varney emphatically exclaimed, “I’d like another forecast like that one! Yes, sir!”

Chuckling heartily, Gretchen declared, “I might have to change my dress, though.” Suddenly, snapping his head toward her, Varney pleaded, “Don’t!” Perhaps, channeling Mae West, Gretchen purred, “Unless you’d like me nude for a second time around.” Looking down and shaking his head, Varney replied, “No comment!”

Gretchen, ‘nuf said?

*Fox & Friends – 04/03/12 (@ 6:37 a.m. ET)

Clayton: “Sad…Alisyn Camerota Leaving” F&FW

Aly: “If this is my last day, I’m gonna make it good!” April Fools? Yesterday, Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Clayton Morris repeatedly apprised viewers that his co-anchor Alisyn Camerota’s was leaving the show Sunday (in three different segments). Furthermore, he Tweeted, “Yes it’s true. I’m being replaced by Olberman and Aly is being replaced by Oprah. It’s the new @ffweekend.” Apparently, not all of Clayton’s fans thought it was an April Fool’s joke: Carpe Diem had significant spikes in Aly-related searches (primarily pertaining to Aly’s leaving F&FW).

In the first two cited Clayton segments, supra, co-host Dave Briggs reminded viewers that it was “April 1st or “April Fool’s Day”: However, some of his Twitter followers may have missed his message because he also Tweeted, “Breaking from @rbfdds Maher, Olberman & Oprah replacing your @ffweekend team…it’s been fun!” Furthermore, in those segments, Aly asserted, respectively, that Clayton was “trying to do a viral April Fool’s Day joke” and scoffed that he had “tried to begin a viral rumor on Twitter.”

Subsequently, in the final cited segment, Aly further tried to assuage any fears of her F&FW fans when FNC correspondent Greg Burke got in on the act.  After Burke’s sober report on Palm Sunday from the Vatican, he remarked, “Finally, guys, we got that news here about Alisyn switching jobs with Oprah. We’re a little sad about that….We like Oprah…but we like Alisyn a whole lot more.” Grateful for his shill’s assistance, a stone-faced Clayton replied, “Well, say your good-byes now, Greg. This is Alisyn’s last day: Oprah is replacing her.” To Burke (and, actually, to her audience), Aly explained, “Greg, it’s just an April Fool’s joke that Clayton has been perpetrating: I’m amazed it’s reached Rome.”

Still sowing seeds of devilish doubt, Clayton interjected, “No, our boss just texted me and said, ‘No, it’s certified,’ Greg….[S]ay your good-byes.” Chuckling, Aly intoned, “Arrivederci, Greg, thank you so much.” Then, she teased, “Let’s get to our headlines: If this is my last day, I’m gonna make it good!”

F&FW viewers” who fell for Clayton’s joke: April Fools? No. Even though the purportedly patent jest may have been funny to Clayton, Dave, and Aly, it may have been a cruel reminder to Aly’s fans of her inexplicably leaving F&FW for five months for a purported “maternity shuffle”  last year. And, they may not have been quite as amused at F&FW‘s spoof–seemingly at their expense.

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 04/01/12 (@ 6:01 a.m. ET, @ 7:01 a.m. ET, and 9:03 a.m.  ET)

[Author’s aside: The title comes from Clayton’s comment as F&FW opened, i.e., “We should make the announcement this early morning on this Sunday morning. Sad news here at Fox & Friends: Alisyn Camerota leaving the show, being replaced by Oprah Winfrey.”]