Cheryl Casone: “You’re So Bad! You’re So Bad!”

Brian Kilmeade: “Everyone remembers their first Scholtzsky’s sandwich!” Puckish Fox & Friends co-host Brian Kilmeade made sexy FBN anchor and triathlete Cheryl Casone blush this morning (on F&F during her regular “Jobs in America” report). Just one jest: that’s all it took.

During Cheryl’s report on companies that were hiring in the United States, she cited Dallas-based Schlotzky’s, ad-libbing that she once lived in Dallas and that she had had her first Schotzky’s sandwich there. At the end of that portion of her report, Brian bawdily interjected, “Everyone remembers their first Scholtzsky’s sandwich!”*

Appearing to take Brian’s risque remark literally, Cheryl shrugged, chuckling, “Pretty good!” However, after Cheryl’s segment had ended (and Brian had teased an upcoming Laura Ingraham interview), Cheryl seemed to have got Brian’s double entendre all too well. After Ingraham’s pic appeared onscreen, the camera returned to Cheryl and Brian: As Brian stood up, a still sitting Cheryl looked up at Brian and shook her head.

Reddening, she mouthed, “You’re so bad! You’re so bad!” Beaming, Brian reached out to Cheryl with his right hand as if to explain his impish tease. Flushed but smiling, Cheryl playfully smacked her naughty boy on the arm with her papers. Grinning, an unchastened Brian walked away with a goatish glint in his eye.

*Fox & Friends – 01/29/13 (@ 7:55 a.m. ET)

[Author’s aside: If the reader is unfamiliar with the more salacious meanings of sandwich, s/he may want to consult the Urban Dictionary: Link here.]

F&FW 2013: Tucker Time? Shhh!

Alisyn Camerota, Clayton Morris–and Tucker Carlson? With nary a word Saturday, Fox & Friends Weekend producers seemed to be sneaking Daily Caller co-founder Tucker Carlson into their permanent co-anchor roster to replace recently departed Dave Briggs. Only a week earlier, co-host Alisyn Camerota told Tucker that he was enduring a “sort of hazing” that F&FW did to its “new co-anchors” (when he had to brave an automaton’s emetic expectoration during a “Fighting the Flu” segment).

Yesterday, at the start of each hour, instead of the usual presentation of all three co-hosts by one of the permanent ones, Tucker, Aly, and Clayton uttered not a syllable of introduction. Rather, they let their individual chyrons do the talking, “Tucker Carlson, Alisyn Camerota, [and] Clayton Morris” as if to indicate all three co-hosts, including Tucker, were now equals in a new F&FW iteration. In an apparent attempt to distract their long-time viewers from these new odd introductory voids, respectively, they discursively discussed, Aly’s being “slaphappy,” Aly’s “beloved assistant,” Andrew Dice Clay‘s F&FW intro, and Clayton’s at-home “Superman” garb.

Since Dave left the show on New Year’s Eve 2012, Tucker has taken on his mantle without fail in the New Year 2013. The only exception has been F&F‘s January 20 special edition when FNC  “scrambled” their F&F “A-Team” co-hosts Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade to join Aly for Inauguration coverage a la 2009.*

F&FW 2013? Apparently, it’s now Tucker time!

*F&FW – 01/20/13 (@ 8:15 a.m.) – [Referring to himself, Steve, and Aly, Brian remarked, “That fact (Vice President Biden’s swearing-in) does not elude…Bret Baier who is scrambled on a Sunday like us because of [this] historic day in Washington.” (Italics added for emphasis.)]

“Miss” Early Start: Zoraida Sambolin Engaged

“On Christmas Eve.” Single gal Early Start co-host Zoraida Sambolin started off her new year with a Facebook relationship status update for her fans on January 2. Including a pic, she proudly proclaimed, “Yes, it is a ring on my finger. Kenny [Williams] and I were engaged on Christmas Eve.”

Later that day, CBS Chicago reported Sambolin’s announcement and elaborated that her fiance was Kenny Williams, the new EVP of the Chicago White Sox. Nine days later (January 11), Chicago Sun-Times columnist Michael Sneed reported Kenny’s account of the engagement–albeit buried under his main story (emblazoned “Exclusive: Sheriff to search Chicago apartment complex where John Wayne Gacy’s mother lived”). Subsequently, when one observant reader and Zoraida Tweep noticed the news and apprised Zoraida thereof, Zoraida Tweeted, “Thank you, the article was a surprise to me as well. Kenny sent a link this morning, he is a gem.”

Apparently, “that loving feeling” is mutual. Sneed reported that Williams gushed that he was “about as happy as I’ve ever been as an adult.” According to Sneed, Williams intoned, “Yes, we just got engaged and I am in a really good place.” Reportedly, Williams was so enamored with Zoraida that he asked her for her hand in marriage–twice: apparently, once prematurely in his office because he just “couldn’t wait” and later at the “much more romantic forum” of the Holy Name Cathedral [Chicago] at midnight Mass where Zoraida’s parent were wed.

Congratulations, Zoraida and Kenny!

[Author’s aside: Mea culpa, Zoraida fans, for the delay: Holidays and hunting guests had distracted these eyes.]

Awkward Carlson: Camerota’s “New Co-anchor”?

F&FW’s Aly cat: This is sort of a hazing process, Tucker.” Yesterday, Daily Caller co-founder Tucker Carlson returned to co-host Fox & Friends Weekend for the third week in a row. According to one J$P source (Hannity’s Hair) two weeks ago, “@TuckerCarlson [is] not just guest hosting…[but]…will assume full time role on @ffweekend replacing Dave Briggs“: However, Johnny Dollar himself indicated that he had heard that Tucker was simply a “temporary sub.”

Even though the author initially agreed with J$P‘s primary source since Tucker seems somewhat ill at ease on the curvy couch (a la another Carlson on the regular week day version), recent comments from Tucker and his F&F Weekend co-hosts seem to indicate otherwise.

Approximately, one week ago, F&FW‘s “After the Show Show: Hectic schedules” (January 13) featured Tucker in a seemingly introductory mini profile. As A.S.S. started, co-anchor Alisyn Camerota asked, “What is it like to do four hours of morning television?”* In answer, Tucker jested, “I really enjoyed it: It only seems like three hours and forty-five minutes to me.” Appearing to let the cat out of the proverbial bag, guest co-host Mike Jerrick interjected, “Save this tape, ladies and gentlemen. A year from now we will see if he still talks like that.” When, Tucker subsequently remarked, “I’ve loved it. I can’t believe it’s over. I feel sort of sad,” Aly, perhaps, rather revealingly, replied, “Well, we can arrange how to make you feel better next weekend and the weekend after that, etc.”

Yesterday (six days later), in the penultimate segment of F&FW Saturday, Tucker appeared in the “Fighting the Flu” segment where he would be “coughed on” by a medical school dummy.* Donning a black salon apron, blue surgical mask, and clear goggles as he awaited an unwelcome expectoration, he sported the look of a hapless fraternity pledge about to be spoofed. Introducing FNC’s “Medical A Team” member Dr. Marc Siegel report on how easily flu could be spread to her F&FW audience, Aly heartily laughed,  “And, this is what we do to new, new co-anchors who, when they come on the show.” Perhaps, more tellingly, she added, This is just sort of a hazing process, Tucker!”

If so, welcome to the show, Tucker!

*After the Show Show – 01/13/13 (0.15/5.44)

Heather’s Virgin Vacation: Best Birthday Ever :)

“Thanks @tzb3.” Throwing caution to the winds, Fox & Friends First co-host Heather Childers shared her daily diary and personal pictures with her Tweeps as she took a rapturous romp in the Virgin Islands with her apparent beau @tzb3. From the time that  she and her honey left Charlotte, North Carolina, Heather regaled her followers with photos of her island destination (St. Thomas), with her sublime experiences (wading in the surf, greeting the sunrise, dining shore-side, catching the St. Thomas – St. John Ferry, imbibing her balcony rainbow, and basking in the Baths), and with a few sexy bikini pics to boot (1, 2).

Yes, Heather can hang with her shapely Fox & Friends First colleagues Ainsley Earhardt and Anna Kooiman (and alums of the same South Carolina elementary school). Surely, Ainsley caught Jay Leno’s eye when her derriere was ogled seemingly by former F&FW co-host Dave Briggs and Anna snared the attention of F&F co-anchors Brian Kilmeade and Steve Doocy with her “booty shaking” morning dance: But, Heather has now brought her own sexy Southern touch to FNC by sharing the ambiance, aesthetics, and allure of her Caribbean birthday bash with her own fervid fans.

Heather heat: Hot Child-ers in the City!

[Author’s aside: Re “Best birthday ever :) Thanks @tzb3” in title, supra, cf. Heather’s “Sparkling lights of #StThomas!” post.”]

Beckel Bawdy: Malkin Unamused

“Maligned” Tantaros: Don’t worry. I can handle carrots.” Five co-anchor Andrea Tantaros was almost unfazed by her co-anchor Bob Beckel who aimed his latest ribald remark squarely at her. In the penultimate segment of the Five yesterday about organic food, Andrea wielded an organic carrot and pointed it at Bob: never one to miss a moment to utter a double entendre, Bob cracked that she looked like she “could handle a hairy carrot.”* As a grinning Andrea rolled her eyes with her mouth agape in incredulity, the usually prim and proper co-anchor Dana Perino smiled and turned to co-host Eric Bolling, pleading, “Help him, Eric! Help him!”

Chuckling, Eric skillfully channeled the discussion back to the merits of organic veggies. As the segment began to conclude, Andrea, with her arms crossed in somewhat mock indignation, haltingly asked, “Are, you going to apologize?” Less than convincingly, Bob replied, “Yes, I apologize!” Grabbing a carrot from the plate, Bob protested, “But, that’s because you were waving it at my head!” As Andrea shook her head at yet another of his double entendres, Bob laughed, “My head? Whatever! I’m sorry!”

Clueless or wickedly clever, Dana interposed, “You remember the boneless chicken ranch?…The Far Side cartoon, Gary Larson did a thing about the boneless chicken ranch and the chickens were all like this [her head limp] over the fence.” Looking at Dana with a goatish gleam, an unrepentant Bob declared, “I’ve been to the Chicken Ranch [brothel (NSW)] in…Las Vegas. That sort of reminds me of a night of drinking.”

With her arms still crossed, Andrea acerbically announced, “That’s [a la boneless chicken necks] how you are going to be after this show!” Raising his voice, Bob riposted, “Alright, will you take it easy? You’re the one who talked about my–never mind!” Giggling, Andrea shook her anew at her bumbling, bumptious Bob.

Soon after the show, indignant Twitchy.com founder Michelle Malkin Tweeted, “NOT breaking: Bob Beckel said something sexually degrading and misogynist. And will get away with it. Again.” [Cf. Twitchy.com‘s “Gross: Serial misogynist Bob Beckel directs vulgar remark at Andrea Tantaros.” Seemingly, in response, Andrea Pooh-poohed the matter [comparing it to Brent Musburger’s BCS Miss Alabama mutterings], jesting, “Don’t worry. I can handle carrots, in fact so well that I hit Bob with them off screen. He’s applying for a job at ESPN as we speak.”

Apparently, Bob will be Bob. And, Andrea appears okay with that. Michelle? Not so much.

*The Five – 01/08/12 (@ 5:52 a.m. ET)

Dave’s Final Farewell

Briggs: “I will be right across the street from Fox News….There’s a big tree over there.” NBC Sports co-host? Having returned for a three-day encore, former Fox & Friends Weekend co-anchor Dave Briggs seemingly disclosed his future plans to his fans in his final After the Show Show on Christmas Eve. Even though he indicated that he would reveal them more fully this Thursday, he teased, “I will be right across the street from Fox News. If anybody wants to read too much into that and figure out what’s right across the street…there’s a big tree over there.”* Spelling it out further for those unfamiliar with FNC’s neighboring NBC studios and their Rockefeller Center Christmas tree, guest co-host Juliet Huddy remarked, “Google ‘sports across the stree….'”!

Apparently, FNC authority J$P was right on the money: He opined that the “likely destination for @davebriggstv [is] NBC Sports Network.” Elucidating further, he RT’d @SPORTSbyBROOKS: SbB has learned NBC Sports Network is planning a daily show hosted by @MichelleDBeadle & @davebriggstv.”

As Dave declared, he will assuredly miss both his erstwhile F&FW co-hosts, Clayton Morris and their “work wife” Alisyn Camerota a/k/a “Bikini Aly.” But, do not feel too bad for Dave: Apparently, he will have another saucy blond beauty to keep him company at his new network, namely, Michelle Beadle, Bleacher Report‘s “Hottest Sports Chick of the Week.”

*A.S.S. – 12/31/12 (@ 2:21/5:37)