Aly’s “Breast Friends”

They may look real but they’re not. With a suggestive pregnant pause thereafter, Fox & Friends co-host Alisyn Camerota introduced a news story today about an artist (who uses household items to create model sculptures).* When she did, co-anchor Clayton Morris mirthfully interjected, “What! Ah, you woke me up!” Aly lustfully laughed, “I knew I would.”

Then, facetiously playing the ingenue, Aly continued, “This tornado [onscreen photo] is actually steel wool, Clayton.” Playing along, Clayton responded, “Wow! That does look real.”  Suppressing a chuckle, co-anchor Dave Briggs jestfully interposed, “Don’t they always?” Aly deadpanned, “No, not always. They don’t always look real.”

As Aly concluded her report, she smiled saucily and mischievously remarked, “See, you can’t always trust that when something looks real, they are–guys.” Clayton riantly rejoined, “That’s something you always say.” Looking at Clayton naughtily, Aly declared, “That’s a lesson.” With tongue in cheek, Dave smiled broadly at the audience and added, “She always tells us things are fake.”

Aly, the tempting tutor: listen and learn, guys.

*Fox & Friends – 02/28/10 (@6:39 a.m. ET)

Dave Covers 4 Clayton

Fox & Friends co-anchor Clayton Morris was the happy recipient of some “‘Friend’ spin” from his colleague Dave Briggs today. This morning during a “Health Care Overhaul: Problems for Pelosi?” segment with his co-hosts Alisyn Camerota and Dave, Clayton erroneously asserted, “Boy, does she [Speaker Pelosi] have some problems on her hand….Remember, it was along [a] party-line vote before and only two Republicans managed to come across the aisle and actually vote on this before in the House.”*

[Author’s aside: The only Republican in either House of Congress to vote for the Dem health care package was Rep. Anh “Joseph” Cao (R-LA).]

After concurring with Clayton that Pelosi would have difficulty garnering the needed voted, Dave provided cover for his chum. He added, “You [Clayton] mentioned the one Republican Joseph Cao that voted for this bill: he says he’s voting no.” An apparently appreciative Clayton responded, “Right.”

Actually, Dave, Clayton mentioned that two Republicans voted for the House health care bill. Perhaps, your holiday south of the border (and absence from Clayton) made your heart grow fonder for the old boy: Ergo, the pass. That’s not necessarily a bad thing altogether.

Still, facts are facts.

*Fox & Friends – 02/28/10 (@7:10 a.m.)

Aly: Where’s Roger, Fox?

You’re So Vain: I thought this Carly Simon story was about you. FNC’s Jessica Rabbit, er, Alisyn Camerota, Fox & Friends Weekend’s co-anchor, must have been wondering where her Roger (Friedman) was today as she read to her audience a debunked tale of whom Simon supposedly was serenading in her signature song, “You’re So Vain.”

Unfortunately, the F&FW producers appeared not to have vetted the account in boss Rupert Murdoch’s U.K. Sun. In that report, Simon was supposedly not singing about a former flame such as Cat Stevens, Mick Jagger, or Warren Beatty but rather her erstwhile gay Elektra record producer David Geffen because she felt that he was promoting rival Joni Mitchell more than her. However, FNC’s fired columnist Roger Friedman pointed out in his Hollywood Reporter article that Geffen was not yet her producer when she recorded “You’re So Vain.”

After the story aired, the author apprised F&FW of the discrepancy. Happily, the producers did not run it again. Regrettably, they did not correct the record either.

Alya Brown Talks Nudity

Her dad’s past Cosmo appearance and her own possible future pose(s). Massachussetts Senator Scott Brown’s sexy daughter Alya Brown discussed nudity with America Live’s hottie host Megyn Kelly in an interview Monday. Broaching the topic, Megyn queried, “Speaking of embarrassing and fun, he [Scott Brown] also posed for Cosmo…[that] centerfold picture of him which…had a lot of women swooning….[W]hat do think when you see your dad in such a photo?” Nonchalantly, Alya answered, “Honestly, it happened so long ago before I was born that I can’t judge him for it.” Saucily, she teased, “And, if Arianna [her sister] or myself wanted to pose nude, he also can’t say anything about it.”

J&K: A “Nipply” Winter AM

American Morning co-anchors John Roberts and Kiran Chetry have solved the Janet Jackson Super Bowl “wardrobe malfunction” mystery, apparently. After John reported that a U.S. Appeals Court was reexamining the FCC $550,000 fine of CBS for the infamous incident on live television, he scoffed, “Wardrobe malfunction! Pfff!” Kiran commented, “Yeah, there you go. Because of that, that became a common phrase. I think that it was on that end of the year list of new words.”

Nodding his head in agreement, John declared, “This is just my opinion, mind you. I believe CBS didn’t know about it but they [Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake] did.” Chuckling, Kiran racily replied, “Yeah. I mean, she wouldn’t have put all the jewelry [NSFW: Nudity (Drudge Report archive)] on it if she didn’t expect it to be out there.” Smiling and rolling his eyes, John replied, “Exactly, yeah. She would have been completely naked under there.”

Rise and shine: it’s a “nipply” winter AM!

*American Morning – 02/23/10 (@8:08 a.m. ET)

School Bus Violence: MacCallum Cheers?

Student fighting: rah, rah, Martha? Today America’s Newsroom co-anchor Martha MacCallum dubiously introduced a story by FNC correspondent Adam Housley about the merits of a Wi-Fi equipped Vail, Arizona, public school bus. After Adam praised the success of the program in not only quieting the horseplay of the students but also in facilitating their doing homework on their laptops, Martha remained unconvinced.

Martha opined, “I bet the kids do like it….[But] socialization is just non-existent now. They communicate with each [sic] other all the time by Internet. So, here’s one opportunity where they’re actually on the bus: they can talk to each other, they can get to know each other, they can, you know, have a fight once in a while [and] have some physical interaction with each other. And, now they’re not going to have it there either.” [Italics added for emphasis.]

Perhaps, Martha had just read an almost two-week-old report by the New York Times on this very topic and decided to offer an ill-conceived opposing view. Martha appeared to hearken back to the apocryphal Rockwellian days of noisy school bus rides where the worst offenses were committed by ear-thumping upper classmen or body-pummelling classmates who were trying to impress the pretty school girls. Today, when a simple “dis” may incite the pulling of a knife, revolver, or worse, Martha (or, in fact, anyone) should be loath to condone school violence of any sort (whether “benign” or not).

*America’s Newsroom (02/23/10) – @9:54 a.m. ET

Ayla Brown: Dad May Consider 2012 Run

Massachussetts Senator Scott Brown has not ruled out running for President in 2012 according to his daughter and former American Idol contestant Ayla Brown. In an interview on America Live with anchor Megyn Kelly yesterday, Ayla was asked whether her father had indicated any interest in running for president in light of a Gallup poll that ranked her father fourth as the 2012 GOP presidential favorite among Republican voters (ahead of Mike Huckabee and Newt Gingrich). Ayla responded, “He mentioned that a poll came out and that he was fourth in poll. But, he was just like, ‘I don’t think it’s for me right now. We have to see how the next couple of years goes first and do my job.'” [Italics added for emphasis.]

If Brown does indeed decide to run for President during his freshman term as a U.S. Senator, he would be following in the steps of another heartthrob pol, the current occupant of the White House, i.e., President Barack Obama.

Doocy: Aly, Gretchen’s “Apprentice”

Doocy’s awkward segue or prescient prediction? As Fox & Friends began its second hour, Invanka Trump promoted it in a voice-over as “the best show on news television.” Ever the amiable agitator, co-host Brian Kilmeade observed, “Notice she was couching a little bit on ‘news television.’ She could have said ‘television’ [to] include the Cartoon Network [and to] include Discovery but no: ‘news television.'” Co-anchor Alisyn Camerota agreed, “She was hedging!”

Subsequently, co-host Steve Doocy interposed, “And, her father’s got that show over at NBC: So, maybe, she didn’t want to badmouth her father.” Brian jested, “Who’s her dad?” Aly guffawed and whispered, “The Donald.”

Then, introducing Aly’s headline news segment, Steve declared, “Speaking of the Donald, Gretchen is off today, and Alisyn is in her place.” Not quite seeing the connection, Aly responded, “Interesting segue. But, okay!” Steve explained, “As her apprentice.” Good-naturedly, Aly laughed, “Okay. Got it. Fantastic!”

Perhaps, Aly did not quite “catch it” is because Steve’s toss fell far from the mark. As many of her F&F fans know, the F&F Weekend co-anchor can more than hold her own against her weekday counterpart, Gretchen Carlson. In fact, not only does Aly seem to display a less earnest and less affected mien but also she appears to evidence a more natural rapport with both her co-hosts and F&F‘s audience.

For the record as to F&FW, in her October 2009 Celebrity Parents Magazine interview, Aly said, “At the moment, I’m exactly where I want to be.” [Italics added for emphasis.]  If so, is she Gretchen’s apprentice, too? And, her Eve?

Clayton “Corrects” Aly: Oops!

Get back, get back to where you once belonged. After Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Clayton Morris “corrected” his co-anchor Alisyn Camerota today, she may have hummed this Beatles refrain under her breath for the rest of the show. Or, simply thought aloud that he should remember her proper place on the curvy couch.

As F&FW returned from commercial break mid show, it began with a segment entitled, “NBC Airs New Jay Leno Promo: Underhanded Dig at Conan O’Brien?” After the clip ran, Aly asked, “What’s the dig?” Clayton replied, “Did you hear that song in the background? Of course, made famous by the Beatles, Get Back….It’s almost as if they’re sort of wiping away the fact that Conan ever existed on NBC at that time.” Guest co-host Peter Johnson, Jr., facetiously interjected, “Maybe, you’re right. I mean, if you play it backwards, maybe, it’s an attack on David Letterman.”

When Aly subsequently queried, “Is it like the time on Dallas? Is it Dallas where they woke up from a dream after a year?” Almost dismissively, Clayton quickly replied, “No that was Bob Newhart. That was the Newhart show.” As she looked down at her notes to prepare to read the headlines, she softly responded, “Okay.”

Actually, Aly was right. The seventh year of the drama Dallas is known as the “dream season.” In the previous season, the character of Bobby Ewing (played by Patrick Duffy) had been killed off and the show continued without him during this seventh season. However, when the actor decided to return to the series, the producers brought him back in the last scene of the finale through the dream device. I.e., season seven had been a “bad dream” for both Pamela Ewing and the viewers.

Ironically, as to Clayton’s comment about Newhart, the entire eight years (1982-1990) of that series were wiped away in its final episode. At the conclusion of that show, Bob Newhart awakened to his 1970’s series The Bob Newhart Show wife Suzanne Pleshette. In a satirical reference to the Dallas “dream season,” he suggests that it had all been a strange dream.

Perhaps, another mea culpa from Clayton tomorrow? Today, the history buff laudably made one as to a mistake about the history of Medicare. (After saying that it was enacted during Truman’s tenure, he later acknowledged that it was actually LBJ and that Truman was its first beneficiary.) However, he has not made another as to Aly re Dallas yet: when the author Tweeted that she was indeed right, Clayton replied, “[W]hy do you know that?” In response to his oddly phrased query, I answered that I remembered it and gave him a Guardian cite.

In Clayton defense, most of the remainder of F&FW was dedicated to coverage of the death of Al Haig, Nixon’s White House chief of staff (during Watergate) and Reagan’s Secretary of State (infamously during the assassination attempt aftermath).

Perhaps, he shall remember tomorrow. Or, perchance, Aly will.

Dave: Miss Me Yet?

Tanned, relaxed, but, not quite ready to return, Fox & Friends Weekend co-anchor Dave Briggs seemed to send his fans and followers a “miss me yet” missive yesterday. The handsome sports fellow Tweeted, “18 holes, a few Pacifico’s, 2 hours of sun, and a nap…all in all in a perfect day. Oh & there’s the beard! http://twitpic.com/140fpa.” (Yes, ladies, he sent his pic for your viewing pleasure.)

Furthermore, F&FW producers appeared to broadcast the very same message to their viewers today. As Fox & Friends concluded this morning, guest co-anchor Clayton Morris announced that Peter Johnson, Jr., would be temping for Dave this weekend. Even though the bespectacled, bow-tied Peter is more than an able substitute with the news, he tends to give off an effeminate, elitist vibe that does not jive with the F&FW audience’s more lively, Everyman expectations as often as Dave.

Rather, Dave exhibits a somewhat more masculine metrosexual side a la F&F’s popular co-anchor Brian Kilmeade. “Bending it like Beckham,” he tends to attract the gals, and, perhaps, more, with his boyish good looks and charm and his family man persona while appealing to the guys with his hardy embrace of all things sports and his robust appreciation of pretty girls. Dave and F&FW producers appear anxious not to let their audience forget.

Update: Dave Tweeted, “I am very emotional..after nearly two weeks of laziness & simultaneous growth, I shaved. I’ll miss the facial manliness but happy to move on.” (02/19/10 – @11:50 a.m. ET)

“Cougar” Carlson: “I’m In the Mood”

Fox & Friends co-host Gretchen Carlson’s just could not quite contain her inner cougar this morning. Rowr! She batted her feline eyelashes early in the show and was ready to pounce as the show concluded.

As F&F began, co-anchor Steve Doocy queried whether a Couger [John Mellencamp] could be coming to Congress. In reply, Gretchen cooed, “I thought you were talking about me, Steve, when you said, “Cougar.”* When Steve and guest co-host Clayton Morris guffawed, “Gretchen added, “I might be running for Congress. You never know.” When Clayton playfully informed her that a “cougar cruise” was departing this week and asked whether she would be on board, Gretchen stuttered, “Oh, right. I, I, duh, I’m not sure my husband would be on board with that.”

Subsequently, her inner cat seemed to return to her lair for much of the show. However, it reemerged in the show’s penultimate segment when she and Steve introduced guest Mickey Blaine, a California high school dean of students, who has used Burt Bacharach to “tame teenagers” who were dancing too provocatively. When Steve asked, “Is the music of Burt Bacharach working?,” Gretchen pertly replied, “I don’t know ’cause Burt would get me going.”

During the interview, F&F producers ran video of young people intensely grinding on the dance floor as the dean explained that he would use Bacharach music to cool things down when the dances became too heated. Then, as the segment ended to the strains of Bacharach, a flushed Gretchen turned to Steve and saucily stuttered, “I don’t know about [you but] I, I’m like in the mood. I’m gonna take off ’cause I’m in the mood.”**

When she began to leave, an amused Steve looked up and asked, “Really?”Gretchen answered, “Burt Bacharach just does that to me.” As she began to sashay off the set, a riant and, possibly, very ribald Steve announced, “Attention, floor crew. Here she comes!” Then, he mischievously chuckled.

*Fox & Friends – 02/17/10 (@6:00 a.m. ET)

**Fox & Friends – 02/17/10 (@8:56 a.m. ET)

AN: Happening Now or Happening Not?

America’s Newsroom viewers did not know whether to believe their eyes or their ears this morning. In a “News Alert” at the very end of the show, guest host Alisyn Cameota announced to her audience that search-and-rescue teams were “looking for a missing couple” that had been “hiking in the mountains Malibu, California” and that their car had been found but that they were still missing.* Simultaneously, producers aired for them a “New Video” footage of an apparent helicopter rescue with a chyron below emblazoned, “Crews Rescue Man & Woman Hiking in Malibu, CA.”

As AN concluded, the poor viewers were left with a real case of cognitive dissonance. Happening now or happening not? AM gave an entirely new meaning this morning to FNC’s “We report: You Decide.”

Author’s aside: FNC’s ironically named show “Happening Now” waited almost an hour to “decide” for you: You can believe your eyes.**

America’s Newsroom – 02/16/10 (@10:59 a.m. ET)

Happening Now – 02/16/10 (@11:53 a.m. ET)

Courtney Courant

Missing Courtney Friel? Fans of the blond beauty will be relieved to know that the FNC correspondent has not left the cable news network. However, you still may not be able to see her on your television set very much in the near future.

Yesterday, when Courtney made a rare–as of late–appearance on Red Eye, “TV’s Andy Levy” asked, “We haven’t seen you on Fox News a lot lately: you working on something?” Courtney replied, “I know. I’ve been focusing on the Fox 4-N-1 [sic] page, our new entertainment page; doing a lot of videos for them; and doing stories. So, check it out!”

If you do, go to http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/index.html or link here. Courtney appears in a section entitled, “Daily 411 with Courtney Friel,” with her videos listed below the rubric.

AM: Yesterday’s News?

“If you haven’t seen it, it’s new to you.” American Morning co-hosts John Roberts and Kiran Chetry and AM executive producer Jamie Kraft seem to have embraced the old NBC slogan about their repeats today. This AM viewer experienced a strange sense of deja vu this morning when Jeanne Moos’ “Chocolate Covered Bacon Anyone” story ran this morning.

Twice, Moos’ “Moost News in the Morning” segment was broadcast today without any indication that it had been aired almost a year ago (March 10, 2009). Not only did Kiran and John not mention that it was a repeat but they also even regurgitated their prior “ad lib” remarks from that report (in AM’s first hour). I.e., John reminded Kiran again that he had introduced her to the Canadian “delicacy” poutine during the election; Kiran remembered anew that it tasted “even more delicious” because she was pregnant; and John revealed once more that poutine consisted of “French fries covered in gravy…topped in [‘with’ today] cheese curds.”*

If Jamie needed some quick filler for the show today and Kiran and John did not feel like adding new color after a late Valentine’s night, that is understandable. However, an apropos caveat to the AM audience would be appreciated. The “most news in the morning” should not include yesteryear’s news unless it is duly noted.

American Morning – 02/15/10 (@6:56 a.m. ET)

Clayton: Aly’s “Wardrobe Malfunction” II

Aly’s undressed? According to Fox & Friends co-anchor Clayton Morris, his co-host Alisyn Camerota had another “wardrobe malfunction” today. Coincidentally, he heralded an earlier one almost a year ago almost to the day (February 8, 2009).

As F&FW began this morning, only anchor Clayton Morris and guest host Carlos Amezcua sat on the curvy couch. Addressing his audience, Clayton commented, “It’s such a weird morning this morning….Usually, Alisyn is sitting right here. Literally, we had a wardrobe malfunction.” When he did, Carlos exclaimed, “Uh, oh!” and Aly laughed off-camera.

Subsequently, Clayton queried, “Aly, what in the world happened?” Aly replied, “Well, it’s hard to explain but I am wearing a Snuggie. I’m wearing a Snuggie, and it’s hard to mike the Snuggie. In response, chuckling, Clayton continued, “Oh, is that what happened?” Aly answered, “Yeah!”

Then, rather randily, Carlos interjected, “Are you wearing the Snuggie backwards or forwards?” As the camera panned to Aly with her backside to the camera, illustratively, she saucily caressed her derriere with her left hand and racily replied, “Well, I, I’m wearing it backwards-thank you for asking–because if I were to wear it forwards there would be an embarrassing, gaping hole in the back.”

Ironically, when Aly turned around to walk to the curvy couch, the “gaping hole” appeared in the front. As the Spanx mynx strode to confidently to the curvy couch she seemed to briefly show off her ebon tights from waist to toe. Last year, the “wardrobe malfunction” was off-air: This year, it was, too.

Or was it?

Briggs 2 Mexico: F&FW to Hispania?

As co-anchor Dave Briggs vacations in Mexico, Fox & Friends Weekend appropriately reached out to its Hispanic audience and chose Carlos Amezcua. In mien, Amezcua reminds the author of former Fox & Friends co-host Kelly Wright, who also seemed somewhat serious for F&F’s weekend fare. Once the author learned that Amezcua is a thirty-year journalist with ten Emmys, a “Golden Mikes” award, etc., he understood why Amezcua might be more comfortable behind the news desk rather than on the curvy couch.

Amezcua has done an excellent job this morning co-anchoring with Alisyn Camerota and Clayton Morris. However, he provides more gravitas than to which F&FW viewers have grown accustomed. Perhaps, the clearly talented Amezcua would serve FNC better as an afternoon or evening anchor. As for F&FW, it would certainly do well to avail itself of more Hispanics, especially, ones with an informed yet fun, fresh flair for the news.

According to Amezcua, he will be back in Los Angeles tomorrow. For tomorrow, Mr. Shine? Geraldo Rivera is no fresh face and he has Geraldo Live. Julie Banderas, too, has her own weekend show. Perhaps, Rebecca Diamond nee Gomez? FNC may need a deeper Hispanic bench.

Update: At the end of the show after this entry was posted, Amezcua clarified that he would return to host F&FW tomorrow. According to Rick, Dave will be off for two weeks. Ergo, the question and issue remain pertinent for next week and in the future.

Wallace: Morning Joe Blow

Fox News Sunday host Chris Wallace hit back hard at Morning Joe co-host Joe Scarborough today in an interview with Megyn Kelly on America Live. Responding to Scarborough’s claim that Wallace “roll[ed] his eyes, embarrassed” after the Palin interview to signal to his friends that “yes, I know [that] she is not a serious thinker,” Wallace asserted, “‘No’ is the quick answer to that.”* Then, scornfully, he added, “Secondly, let me just say that Joe Scarborough lives out where the trolleys don’t run at night.”

Eager to pummel Scarborough further, Wallace continued, “The last time I heard of somebody getting that kind of a secret message, it was Son of Sam hearing from a Labrador retriever that he should go out and shoot people….I think that Morning Joe definitely needs to switch to decaf.” Later, in the interview when Megyn asked whether he was offended by Scarborough comment, Wallace snidely stated, “I’m offended that people watch him on MSNBC.”

For Wallace, apparently, there is little love left for that former Fox News contributor.

*America Live – 02/11/10 (@2:36 p.m. ET).

Update: Cf. Mediaite‘s vid of segment including footage of Wallace’s “eye roll” and Scarborough’s analysis.

Chetrylicious: Too Delicious?

Apparently, American Morning co-anchor Kiran Chetry once again just looked too good for her guest co-host T. J. Holmes. As AM began this morning, a beaming T.J. Holmes turned his gaze upon the Nepalese lovely clad in her sharp black dress with a plunging neckline. Seeming to sense the effect of her allure, she smiled back at him with a twinkle in her eye and simply said, “Hi!” before welcoming the viewer. T.J. looked ahead, chuckled, and seemed to steal a brief glance before he introduced himself to the audience.

Unfortunately for T.J. and the AM viewer, EP Jamie Kraft seemed to take note. Around fifteen minutes into the program, Kiran began a Haitian survivor story with AM chief medical correspondent Dr. Sanjay Gupta by phone: however, as Sanjay finished answering her question and his report, Kiran had left the set and T.J., sitting all alone at the desk, thanked Sanjay before going to commercial. When the show resumed after the ad break, Kiran had reappeared but her decolletage had disappeared. Apparently, Kraft had Kiran put on a top underneath her dress to cloak her beauty more.

Jamie, Jamie. Not the best way to boost ratings. Remember, there’s nothing wrong with being too delicious–especially, if you’re Chetrylicious.

Aly: F&FW’s “Leading” Lady

Alisyn Camerota: Journo or gonzo? During an interview with guest Jeanine Pirro (Fox legal analyst and Judge Pirro host), Aly and co-host Clayton Morris seemed intent on convincing her that the Obama administration acted properly in placing the “underwear bomber” in the federal court system. However, Pirro would not be swayed and remained adamant that Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab should have been tried by a military tribunal and not been granted constitutional rights.

When Aly subsequently concluded the segment, she seemed genuinely surprised at Pirro’s steadfastness in the face of her and Clayton’s persistent leading queries. As she bid Pirro adieu, Aly made a rather strange journalistic comment and, apparently, an inadvertent admission. Turning to Pirro, she asserted, “Well, you disagree with every single question we ask.”

Without regard to the merits of the issue, it seemed odd for the F&FW hosts to present one united position with the guest providing the countervailing view. Fair and balanced? Yes, both positions were given. But, “We report, You decide”? Not quite.

Wallace “Explains” Imus Jest

about Sarah Palin to an uncomfortable Gretchen Carlson. As Fox & Friends co-anchor Brian Kilmeade observed, Chris Wallace’s promo for Fox News Sunday on F&F Friday”was as awkward as ever.” After Chris previewed his show which includes the first FNS interview of former Alaska governor Sarah Palin, co-host Steve Doocy asked Wallace about his controversial comment on Imus Thursday. Steve remarked, “Chris…normally during our time together, it is Brian that asks the embarrassing question of you. However, I saw online that you said…yesterday when queried whether or not you would do the interview with Sarah Palin on your lap, you said [that] you hope so.”*

Before Wallace could respond, co-host Gretchen Carlson, aghast, exclaimed, “What!” Steve replied, “It’s true.” Wallace retorted, “No, no…What happened was [that] I was on Imus, which was my first mistake, and he said to me at the end, just kidding around, ‘So when you do the interview with her, will she be sitting on your lap?’ And I said, ‘One could hope.’…I thought it was funny at the time.”

Clearly, not amused, Gretchen shook her hand and queried, “Why would he ask such an inane question?” Steve interjected, “I think it was a great question!” As Wallace laughed and both Brian and Steve smiled, a rather outraged Gretchen queried, “Do you ask that of a man?” Wallace stuttered, “Would he have asked me of a man?” With palms upraised, an incredulous Gretchen responded, “Yeah. [Whether a man] would sit on your lap.”

Wallace riposted, “I don’t know. Let me ask you a question. Would you do an interview with Brad Pitt, you sitting on his lap, Gretchen?” “Absolutely not. I find nothing hot about Brad Pitt.” Wallace persisted, “Oh, okay. Oh, and, how ’bout Brian Kilmeade if you sat on his lap?” Rubbing her upper lip uncomfortably and, apparently, trying to skirt the question about her and her colleague, Gretchen replied, “Who?”

Meanwhile, Brian, shaking his head and looking down, only somewhat facetiously interposed, “Hey, let me just say this. Chris Wallace, that as I pointed out–Gretchen, very good move saying, ‘Who?’–Chris, we’re a news show. I don’t know about this lap thing. We got facts, people need to get information, [and] I don’t need the color and stuff. So, this whole thing about socializing and the behind-the-scenes stuff, it has no place.” Under his breath, Steve muttered, “Oh. Wow.” Wallace sarcastically responded, “What, what the heck happened to you? Have the drugs [unintelligble] finally, Brian?

From his off-set Ft. Lauderdale perch, a salty Brian asked, “By the way, what are you [Wallace] wearing?” Trying to bring that topic to a quick close, Steve interjected, “He’s wearing his Chris Wallace outfit.” However, the producers, apparently, were not quite ready to do so and began to play Austin Powers-like theme music. Playing along, Wallace jested, “Are you talking about now or for the interview with Sarah Palin?” Before Brian could respond, Steve interjected, “Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!”

Then, as Steve concluded the promo, Wallace declared, “Get me outta here!” “Me, too!” cried Gretchen. Smiling Brian added, “Yeah. That was as awkward as ever. I’ll miss Chris.”

Wallace is certainly not apologizing for his Imus comment. Will Sarah Palin respond to him tomorrow? If so, will she be as outraged as Gretchen with the ribald banter?

Fox & Friends (02/05/10) – @8:36 a.m. ET