Archive for April, 2009

Megyn Kelly: Miss Cali Has Implants

April 30, 2009

America’s Newsroom co-anchor Megyn Kelly is apparently no fan of Miss USA California, Carrie Prejean. On the O’Reilly Factor tonight, the leggy towhead attorney/journo accused the blonde beauty queen of having “gone rogue” with her post-pageant emphasis on pro traditonal marriage advocacy vis-a-vis her pre-pageant special Olympics emphasis. In response, Bill O’Reilly defended Prejean’s right “to evolve” and to do both, and then Kelly seemed to soft-pedal her position somewhat. However, before her time was up, Kelly appeared to go in for the kill: Decrying the pageant directors for “playing dirty,” she disclosed that they had asserted that Prejean had had breast implants and that they had paid for them.


Greta “T*rd,” Geraldo?

April 29, 2009

Poor Greta van Susteren! On Fox & Friends this morning, Geraldo Rivera dissed her Fox & Friends Sweepstakes contribution and, by extension, her fashion sense. On F&F to promote his eponymous show, Geraldo could not help but give his take when F&F co-anchor Steve Doocy announced yesterday’s F&F Sweepstakes winner and displayed a prize, Greta van Susteren’s Fox News slicker. When Steve opined, “That looks like something Greta would be wearing,” an unimpressed Geraldo interjected, “I would never wear a uniform out to cover a storm: You look like such a t*rd out there–just standing there with a uniform on.”

“Really?” Steve snipped. “Thanks for really supporting our sweepstakes!”

Probably getting an earful from an unamused off-camera producer, Geraldo stammered, “I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, nerdy, nerdy! But if I had my proud Fox microphone.”

A mimosa moment, Geraldo? Or, perhaps, lack thereof?

F&F (04/29/09) – @8:43 a.m. ET

F&FW Four Scores

April 27, 2009

What a difference a year makes. Only one year ago when Dave Briggs joined Fox & Friends Weekend, four whole hours of Fox & Friends Weekend would have been virtually intolerable: yesterday, they were a pleasure. The difference: Alisyn Camerota and her more mature Doublemen Twins.

Last year, FNC SVP of Programming Bill Shine had just defenestrated F&FW’s trusted trio of Page Hopkins, Kelly Wright, and Greg Kelly without warning to the F&FW fan. To make matters worse, he had replaced it with the very callow crew  of Ainsley Earhardt, Clayton Morris, and Dave Briggs. The show was floundering with no leader: Clayton was its clowning camera hog; Dave was its stereotypical sports guy; and Ainsley was its much too sweet, compliant girl in the middle.

Happily, since then, Shine brought back F&FW veteran  Alisyn Camerota to rudder the off-course crew in a more certain direction. Aly has done it admirably: she has helped Clayton to be less silly and more focused and given Dave discipline and confidence. She has taught her wards well, and they seem to be earning her respect and that of the viewers.

Happily, the castrato choir appears to be singing its own dirge.

Bukhing Briggs Back

April 25, 2009

Looking somewhat wan but hale, Fox & Friends Week co-host Dave Briggs returned to F&FW today after his laproscopic appendectomy Monday. Waiting until the second hour after a story on Jay Leno’s taking a rare sick leave, Dave boasted, “Do you take nights [sic] off? I had my appendix out this week but I’m toughing it out.”Of course, his co-hosts Alisyn Camerota and Clayton Morris had to rib him a bit.

Touching his shoulder with her hand and feigning heartfelt sympathy, co-host Alisyn Camerota asked, “I know and you’re here: How are you feeling?” Dave responded, “I’m toughing it out because I wanted to be next to you guys. Clayton needled, “And America a lot of drugs.” Dave laughed, “Not now, of course.” Giving Dave one last dig, Aly remarked, “Your performance is barely affected by the massive amounts of sedatives that you’re on right now.”

Good job, Dave.

“Soft Ball” Wallace vs. “Wager Weasel” Kilmeade

April 24, 2009

Who is all wet, or, who will be all wet? In his promo to his show Fox News Sunday, Chris Wallace dared friendly antagonist Fox & Friends co-host Brian Kilmeade to a Dunking Booth duel at a country fair: He proposed that he get three balls to dunk Brian in the water and that then Brian would get his turn to do likewise. Brian accepted the challenge and upped the ante: He suggested a change in venue, i.e., the F&F veranda, where people could bet on the outcome. Chris replied, “I think that’s actually a great idea.”

Co-host Gretchen Carlson inadvertently provided Wallace his contest moniker, “Soft Ball,” when she asked about his throwing arm. Chris laughed and retold a personal “scarring experience” of when he tried out to be a pitcher in sixth grade: He said that he threw the ball so softly that the opposing batter “took four steps waiting for the ball to get there” and “then he hit it about 500 feet (nobody had ever hit a ball as far as he hit that ball).” He described it as “the beginning and end of [his] pitching career.”

As to Brian’s nom de plume, he earned that when he weaseled out of his playoff football bet with Clayton Morris earlier this year.* After rescuing Gretchen from her lost wager to Clayton** (when his Eagles beat her Vikings) by doubling down (both Brian and Gretchen would sing the Eagle war anthem while Eagle jerseys if the Eagles felled the Giants), Brian squirreled out of his obligations. He had Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell sign a memo purporting to absolve Brian and Gretch of their debts.

Chris, wise move to add the “me first” caveat!



F&F’s Swedish Foot Fancy II

April 24, 2009

Today Fox & Friends provided the viewer with F&F’s Swedish Foot Fancy II between co-hosts Steve Doocy and Gretchen Carlson. As Carpe Diem readers may remember, Gretchen, in jest, asked Peter Doocy to rub her toes which did not sit overly well with either son or dad.* To a certain extent, today the shoe was on the other Swede’s foot.

During a Gretchen-read headline story in which Michelle Obama called her Portuguese water pup Bo “a crazy dog” because “he loves to chew on people’s feet,” Steve interjected, “Me, too.” Continuing to read, Gretchen stopped abruptly and exclaimed, “What?” Steve replied, “Yeah.” As co-anchor Brian Kilmeade roared in the background, Gretchen laughed, “Oh, my goodness! Revealing details from Steve Doocy about chewing feet!” Although his response was not fully audible, Steve sounded as if he said, “Awesome.”

“Crazy Dog” Doocy!

F&F (04/24/09) – 7:34 a.m. ET


F&F Flogs Yet Touts Trump

April 23, 2009

Walking a fine between its conservative base and its favorite billionaire, F&F had its girl hit Trump hard and its boys tenderly caress him. F&F co-anchor Gretchen Carlson, a former Miss America, grilled the Donald and his Miss USA 2009 while co-hosts Brian Kilmeade and Steve Doocy schmoozed the real estate titan. A bit of delightful irony since the controversy was engendered by Perez Hilton’s question to Miss USA California Carrie Prejean about same-sex marriage.

In the first of the three-part interview, Gretchen interrogated Trump’s Miss USA 2009 Kristen Dalton about whether the Perez question had been fair, had effected the pageant’s outcome, and had placed Miss California in a no-win situation–not to mention how she would have answered the question herself. Visibly uncomfortable, the beauty queen’s basic answers were: fair, none, no, and yes. When Kristen echoed Perez’ post-pageant suggestion that same-sex marriages be up to the states and added that she felt personally that all couples should have the same protections afforded by marriage, Gretchen described her response as “politically correct.”

In the next segment, Gretchen turned her sights on the Donald himself. She questioned him about the legitimacy of the judges’ docking contestants for their personal beliefs, the trustworthiness of the judging of his pageant, and the Perez question’s effect on the determination of the winner. As to lowering contestants scores for their personal convictions, Trump appeared to agree that it was not a good idea. Seeming less assured, he indicated that the judging was not effected by the Perez question and that he thought Kristen would have won anyway. [Perhaps, his hesitancy stemmed from the prior statements of Perez and fellow Miss USA judge Alicia Jacob.]* Seeming somewhat incredulous, Gretchen concluded, “Well, it’s made it [a] tougher thing for Kristen…to have to come out and defend this and have so much attention going to the first runner-up…[I]t remains to be seen how the public will judge the organization.”

After getting scratched with Gretchen’s thorns, Brian and Steve threw him rose petals. They gave him an approximately four-minute infomercial for his new book, “Think Like a Champion.” In addition, they touted Trump’s eponymous vodka.

A little damage control and free publicity: He’ll be back!


Briggs: I Will Be Back

April 22, 2009

Well on the mend from his appendectomy Monday, Fox & Friends Weekend co-anchor Dave Briggs today avowed, “Minus one appendix, I will be back on F&F this weekend.”* Happily, Carpe Diem’s prognostications that he would probably not return so soon appear to be wrong. According to his recent Twitter response, Dave had laproscopic surgery.* Dave, glad it was such a success!


If You Seek A Megyn

April 22, 2009

In response to Internet gainsayers, America’s Newsroom Megyn Kelly proved today beyond a reasonable doubt that the moralizing anchor in Britney Spear’s video, “If You Seek Amy,” was indeed lampooning her. In an interview with the actress herself, Kristina Mitchell, Megyn queried, “Let’s put this to rest once and for all: Were you or were you not trying to imitate me in that video clip?”

Less than coyly, Kristina answered, “I was.” As if on cross, again Megyn asked, “You were?”  Tilting her head, crinkling her nose, and smiling saucily, she answered, “Guilty as charged!” “I knew it!” exclaimed Megyn.

When Megyn asked for details, Kristina replied that Britney’s people at the music video audition instructed, “Kinda Megyn Kellyesque.” She elaborated, “I Googled and YouTubed you and tried to blow dry my hair perfectly–which took hours. Elucidating further, Kristina commented, “I tried to think American, and I thought Bree Van De Camp [Desperate Housewife played by Marcia Cross]…very sweet with a little bit of apple pie and a little bit of sass.”

Blandishingly, Kristina japed, “Once you get Megyn Kelly, there’s no going back!” Megyn rejoined, “Amen to that, sister!” Somehow, I think Doug might agree.

Don’t Get Any Ideas, Kyra!

April 22, 2009

Don’t expect American Morning’s John Roberts to get on bended knee on the set of Kyra Phillips’ CNN Newsroom any time soon. Kyra’s reported beloved John Roberts seemed rather ill at ease after an AM story about on-air newsperson proposals (including an on-camera one at a station in Little Rock, Arkansas).

After the Jeanne Moos story, AM co-host Kiran Chetry commented, “It was cute. It was! They were so earnest.” Smiling snidely, John snarked, “Love strikes in Arkansas.” Kiran laughed and then replied, “That was very cute. Well, congrats!” Not willing for the commentary to end on that sweet note, John sniped, “They’ll do that movie about it: Love Struck in Little Rock.”

In other words, as to an on-air proposal, Kyra, don’t hold your breath!

Dave’s Cheerful Chirp

April 21, 2009

Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Dave Briggs may have lost an organ but he still has his sense of humor. After revealing early yesterday morn that he was going in for his appendectomy, he was back joking with his Twitter followers in the afternoon. In response to a wag’s suggestion that he sell his excised appendix on eBay, perhaps, with a F&F logo, Dave Tweeted, “Brilliant, I’ll see if I can retrieve it.”*

What a bird!


Dave Briggs Cut

April 20, 2009

According to an announcement by Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Dave Briggs, he was going to be cut: Not from the show but in surgery. Early this morning, he Twittered, “Here’s a new one, going in for apendectomy, should be a hoot! Who needs appendix anyway right?”* It’s somewhat doubtful that he’ll be on F&FW this weekend.**

Get well soon, Dave!



Dave Spellbound: Price’s Sexy Intrigue

April 19, 2009

For Fox & Friends co-host Dave Briggs, the Price was definitely right! Lindsay Price, that is. As F&F co-anchor Alisyn Camerota observed, Price, a star in the pilot Eastwick (based on the Witches of Eastwick) had Dave “spellbound” during her interview this morning.

After Dave fulsomely flirted with Price nonstep as to her shows, fashion sense, and beauty, the former Lipstick Jungle actress allowed him to make his move. As the brunette beauty touted and displayed Degree’s scents, Dave asked, “Do you have it on?” Moving toward Dave and lifting up her lovely, long mane, Price cooed, “I, I sprayed Sexy Intrigue under my hair and you can smell my, my.” Before she could finish her sentence, Dave turned to Aly and declared, “This is my chance!” Immediately, he lustily inhaled the fragrance from the nape of her naked neck as she blushed and beamed.*

Aly put her hand to her mouth and exclaimed, “Oh, my gosh!” Looking at Aly, Dave responded, “She gave me permission–on camera.” To Price, he joked, “You’re gonna have to sign a waiver before you go.” As to the racy play, Price said, “This segment is fun: this job is fun!”

Jungle F&FW fever!

F&FW (04/19/09) – @8:52 a.m. ET

“Baby Got Back” Day

April 18, 2009

“I like big butts and I cannot lie!” Fox & Friends Weekend co-hosts Alisyn Camerota, Dave Briggs, and Clayton Morris could not resist these infectious strains of Sir Mix-a-Lot’s “Baby Got Back.” As the tempting tune played, the F&F trio got off the curvy couch and did their booty dance. Even conservative columnist Cal Thomas couldn’t restrain himself.

After a segment on the controversial Burger King commercial that celebrates Spongebob to the altered lyrics of “Baby Got Back” (e.g., “I like square butts and I cannot lie”), the co-hosts began to animatedly move to the music. Then Aly and Dave stood up and started jauntily gyrating with their backs to the audience as they segued to meteorologist Rick Reichmuth.

It got even more spirited when Rick’s weather report concluded: All three co-hosts  got up and did their booty boogie. However, wisely, Dave and Clayton backed away and gave Aly the floor. She did not disappoint: The Italian dish happily became the camera’s cynosure and the Italian dish saucily shook her groove thing with reckless abandon.

As to Cal, he was caught earlier doing a few disco moves to “Baby Got Back” as he sat in his chair awaiting his on-air appearance.** After playing the vid for the audience, interviewer Dave apologized for doing that to him. Cal responded, “No, no, it’s great; it’s fun; [and] it shows that white people have rhythm, too.”

*F&F (04/18/09) – 8:42 a.m. ET

**F&F (04/17/09) @7:19 a.m. ET

Kiran’s M&M Green

April 17, 2009

The girl can’t help it! American Morning co-anchor Kiran Chetry was confined yesterday in a prim and proper business outfit consisting of a white button-up blouse, black barely above-the-knee skirt, and black peek-a-boo heels. Apparently, she could not resist the temptation to spice it up a bit.

Subtly, AM’s Aphrodite allowed her neckline to drop a little lower than brass may have intended and donned a sexy M&M green coed cardigan sweater to boot. For the cloistered among us, there was a reason that your sexy school dream girl picked out the green M&M’s. Hint: It wasn’t because they tasted different.

No, CNN: Kiran will not be dudded down.

Roberts Rues Loss

April 17, 2009

But which one? Yes, Ashton Kutcher gave Goliath CNN a smack-down early this morning in  its race to become the first to reach one million Twitter followers. However, American Morning’s John Roberts seemed to see the loss as a personal metaphor. After co-anchor Kiran Chetry acknowledged CNN’s defeat, John  put up his hands and said, “Some you lose, and some you lose.”

“Exactly!” rejoined Kiran. John continued, “The story of my life: I lose everything I touch.” Kiran laughed, “We’ll explain more of that in a second: Not that, but the Twitter situation.”

After his Easter weekend in Pensacola with his daughter, was the respected three-time-Emmy-Award-winning veteran journalist lamenting the loss of her mother from whom he split over a year ago? Or has his loss been even more recent? According to TVNewser sorces, Roberts has been seriously dating CNN anchor Kyra Phillips and even took her to his induction into the Canadian Broadcaster Industry Hall of Fame in  Toronto to meet his two children.

Roberts Abashes Alina

April 16, 2009

Another unanticipated Roberts ad lib! Yesterday American Morning correspondent Alina Cho’s reported on the inspiring debut of Susan Boyle on “Britain’s Got Talent” debut and her consequently sensational YouTube success. [Boyle aptly sang Fantine’s “I Have a Dream” from Les Miserables.] As her segment closed, AM co-anchor John Roberts replied, “She’s fantastic!” To which, Alina answered, “Let’s hope they don’t make her over.” Co-anchor Kiran Chetry drily agreed, “I know. Just waiting for the makeover: They do it to everybody, right?”

Then John rained on Alina’s parade. Not unlike when he embarrassed former CNN legal eagle Sunny Hostin with an off-the-cuff query,* WikiRoberts queried, “Maybe, they’ll let her play Cosette [another Les Miserables character]. What do you [Alina] think?” Looking like a deer in the headlights, she looked hopefully at Kiran, shook her head, and mouthed, “I don’t [know].

Trying to cue her, John interjected, “In the next iteration of Les Miz.” Prompting her further, Kiran commented, “Yeah.” Alina responded, “Oh, oh, the character. Yes.” Then Alina smiled, lowered her head, and added, “You got me there. Sorry!”

John, Janelle is going to get you one day for not staying on script!

Bocephus: Gretchen, Dave “Idiots”?

April 15, 2009

Unprepared and oblivious, Fox & Friends co-hosts Gretchen Carlson and Dave Briggs thoroughly embarrassed themselves this morning in their interview with country music superstar Hank Williams, Jr. Even worse, they did not even seem to fully realize it.

As Gretchen introduced the Hank Williams “Bocephus Bailout Package” segment, she said, “He’s calling it the Bocephus (short”o” and schwa “e”)? Is that what it is? I’m going to have to ask him? Is it Bocephus (long “o” and schwa “e”)?” Dave guffawed, “I’m not sure: I saw it on his guitar.” Incredulous and a mite miffed, Williams shook his head, smiled, crossed his arms, and literally bit his tongue.

Iterating both of Gretchen’s pronunciations to Williams, Dave asked,  “What is it? Bocephus [or] Bocephus? I know it’s your nickname.” Williams decided to be more charitable than colleague Trace Adkins who called Brian Kilmeade an “idiot” when he made a similar goofy gaffe.* Still shaking his head and crossing his arms, Williams good-naturedly scoffed, “Hey, ya’ll, my goodness! It ain’t either one! It’s Bo(long “o”)ce(long “e)phus.”

Consequently, abashed and wide-eyed, Gretchen grimaced: Then she apologetically and accurately echoed, “Bocephus.” Likewise, a sheepish Dave grinned and repeated, “Bocephus.”

Later in the program, after Williams sang “Red, White & Pink-Slip Blues,” Dave applauded, “Good stuff, Bocephus!” Gretchen chuckled, “We’re never going to forget that!” Williams riposted, “Neither am I.”

Gretchen, Dave: Idiots? Nah. But, please, a little more prep, guys!

F&F (4/15/09) – @7:23 a.m. ET


Megyn Kelly with Child

April 13, 2009

According to the Washington Times, Roger Aile’s Energizer bunny Megyn Kelly is pregnant! Who would have thought that she had the time with her hosting of America’s Newsroom, her legal analyses on the O’Reilly Factor, and her guest anchoring On the Record with Greta van Susteren. Not to mention her co-hosting FNC’s New Year’s Eve specials with Bill Hemmer.

Apparently, taking her bunny appellation to heart, Megyn must have made her After the 2009 New Year’s Eve Show extra special. According to the WT’s lady spies, Stephanie Green and Elizabeth Glover, Megyn’s due date is October 6. Congratulations, Megyn and Doug!

Thanks for the “heads up,” Al!