Elisabeth Hasselbeck: Who Dat?

FNC’s debutante: courtesy of the curvy couch. Fox & Friends co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck made her debut on the show–and the network– almost two weeks ago. For many F&F viewers who expected F&FW co-host and usual F&F fill-in Alisyn Camerota to take her place on the curvy couch vacated by Gretchen Carlson, it came as a shock when FNC outsider Elisabeth was named the new co-anchor with Brian Kilmeade and Steve Doocy. Naturally, Executive Programming VP Bill Shine had to do some ‘splaining–or, at the very least–to introduce in some detail this new View gal to loyal F&F viewers: He chose the latter.

In so doing, Elisabeth was feted regally on set by Donald Trump, Sherri Shepherd, and Sean Hannity as they all effusively praised the new FNC celeb to her co-hosts and F&F fans. Attempting to endear Elisabeth further to their audience, Steve and Brian elicited bio details from the blond beauty. And for those viewers who have not seen her in Survivor, The Look for Less (Style Network), or The View, a closer look was surely warranted.

Ergo, during the course of this her inaugural show, Elisabeth and her co-hosts provided the following personal info. The athletic lovely played point guard at Bay View Academy (East Providence) and softball at Boston College; studied studio art at BC; met hubby Tim Hasselbeck (then future NFL quarterback) there and married him in 2002 after about five years of dating; and even designed shoes for a while (for Puma). Of course, they also reminded viewers that Elisabeth had been on the aforementioned shows. (On a more “intimate” level, the mother of three revealed to those who thought that she was a natural towhead that she had dyed her hair brown as a college sophomore or junior–or, not!)

Good start! And, good luck, Elisabeth!

New(s) Starts Monday

Sambolin and Berman; Camerota & Hemmer; and solo Carlson. Early Start gets even earlier as Zoraida Sambolin and John Berman‘s show starts 4:00 a.m. ET as it expands to two hours Monday (September 30).* Also, America’s News HQ gains a new hour slot at 1:00 p.m. ET with the end of Megyn Kelly‘s America Live: The abdicating queen of Fox & Friends Weekend Alisyn Camerota and her single “sidekick” Bill Hemmer host. Furthermore, the former diva of the weekday curvy couch debuts on her eponymous new show The Real Story with Gretchen Carlson at 2 p.m. ET.

[Author’s aside: FIVE hours of CNN morning news dawn; Aly AND Gretch rule Megyn’s former throne; and Bill FINALLY gets the girl.]

*Early Start – 09/27/13 (5:09 a.m. ET)

Kooiman: “Looking Up My Skirt?”

Clayton: “That’s my business!” Fox & Friends Weekend co-anchor Clayton Morris got rather randy with his brand new co-host Anna Kooiman this morning. Perhaps, sharing the curvy couch with ever caprid guest co-anchor Mike Jerrick and oft frisky meteorologist Janice Dean today may have helped embolden the bad boy.

As the show was concluding, Anna asked Clayton to show the audience what they were doing and pointed to the computer in front of her lap.* As Clayton picked it up and showed the viewers a live stream of the show, he invited them to go to “Google Hangout” to view the After the Show Show. Looking down and pulling her leg slightly upward, Anna racily queried, “So, that wasn’t looking up my skirt was it?”

Leaning in toward Anna, a playful Janice naughtily interjected, “I’m sure you’ll have lots more viewers!”

Looking down at the computer screen, Anna smilingly exclaimed, “No it wasn’t….I checked. I checked!”

But, Clayton racily suggested otherwise: Grabbing his coat for effect, he bawdily replied, “That’s my business!” Looking down at the computer screen again, Clayton’s eyes bulged suddenly: then, glancing back at Anna appreciatively, he beamed bawdily.

Roaring with laughter, Janice rocked back and clapped her hands in delight. Chiming in, Mike concluded, “And, how do you trump that?”

Indeed.

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 09/29/13 (@ 9:58 a.m. ET)

Camerota Says Ciao

Aly: “I know it’s disruptive.” Today, Fox & Friends Weekend co-anchor Alisyn Camerota gave her F&FW fans a final farewell in “Say Goodbye to Aly” (a vid generated by now former co-anchor Clayton Morris). Apparently, acknowledging that her loyal F&FW audience may be miffed by her unexplained departure–yet another–from the weekend morning show (to the afternoon America’s News HQ with Bill Hemmer), the three-time co-host declared, “I do want to say to all of the viewers…I don’t make this move lightly….I love our dedicated fans…and I know its’ disruptive.” Unconvincingly, Aly added, “But…sometimes change is good.”*

And, Aly, sometimes it’s not. Food for thought, Shine: Future fourpeat?

* Say Goodbye to Aly – 09/28/13 (7:07/11:36)

F&FW’s Alisyn Camerota: “I’m in Denial”

Anna Koiman: I have big shoes to fill at Fox & Friends Weekend. Before her curtain call on Saturday, the queen of the curvy couch, Alisyn Camerota, seemed somewhat reluctant to give up her throne and to leave her acolytes alone. Perchance, as succor, her successor, at least, “for now,” Anna Kooiman gave her apt homage, Tweeting, “Congrats on ur new show @AlisynCamerota[:] You are amazing in every way. I [have] big shoes to fill @ffweekend.”

Indeed, Anna does! Aly has regally ruled that curvy couch thrice. As faithful fans of Fox & Friends Weekend may well remember, the Bristol Bay babe first held court on the curvy couch with the incomparable Nepalese beauty Kiran Chetry in the early-and-mid 00’s. Subsequently, Aly was “promoted” to the weekday F&F crew as newsreader: But, a wise Shine summoned her back in 2008 to captain Clayton Morris and Dave Briggs on a more certain course (than a then too callow Ainsley Earhardt could fathom). About a year later, Shine gave Aly a strange five-month Sabbatical, pairing her oft with Bill Hemmer of America’s Newsroom (during then co-host Megyn Kelly‘s maternity leave and beyond): After auditioning apparent aspirants who did not quite measure up to the role, Shine brought Aly back for yet another run.

In true form, Aly was stellar yet again. And, now, as she is about to be paired more permanently with Bill Hemmer (in a new America’s News HQ slot), Aly’s able assistant aptly asserts, “The journey continues, enjoy the ride.” But, speaking, perhaps, for her fervid F&FW fans, Aly empathized, “I’m in denial.”

Aly Abandons F&FW?

“I’ve got to go with Bill. I’m sorry.” Sorry, Alisyn Camerota fans: your fave gal has taken flight after three unforgettable stints as a fab Fox & Friends Weekend co-host. F&FW co-host Alisyn Camerota will leave F&FW to host America’s News HQ on the weekdays with Bill Hemmer at 1 p.m. ET according to TV Newser. The move should come as little surprise to long-time followers of F&FW who watched Aly leave her F&FW hubbies Clayton Morris and Dave Briggs for five full months in 2011 (during Megyn Kelly‘s “maternity shuffle” and a month more) to cavort shamelessly with America’s Newroom co-anchor Bill Hemmer and other FNC co-anchor rakes.

All levity aside, Aly has more than paid her dues on Fox & Friends Weekend (and other F&F iterations). In fact, in the author’s opinion, she assuredly merited a permanent seat on the curvy couch with Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade on the weekday Fox & Friends. But, unfortunately, she lost out to Shine’s choice Elisabeth Hasselbeck: Not bad–but she’s no Aly!

Thanks for the memories, Aly! First, you and Kiran Chetry made F&FW must-see TV in your first stint at F&FW. Second, you came to the rescue when newbies Clayton and Dave desperately needed someone to steer their ship on a more certain course. And, third, you gallantly returned to the helm when you reluctantly realized that your F&FW wannabe replacements could not quite measure up.

Good luck, Aly! But, you’ll be missed–sorely!

BP “To The Couch” Walk: New Day Stupid?

Polluting America’s Gulf: Polluting CNN’s airwaves? Lampooning themselves unintentionally a la a Saturday Night Live spoof, CNN New Day co-hosts Chris Cuomo, Kate Bolduan, and Michaela Pereira made a mockery of themselves and their show today anew with their diurnal “To The Couch!” walk sponsored by BP in the penultimate block of ND. After Kate announced that they would be making their odd amble to ND‘s version of F&F‘s “curvy couch” for John Berman‘s “Award of the Day” segment, an actual ad sponsored by BP began to air in a split screen alongside with Chris, Kate, and Michaela strolling to the sofa.

It was embarrassing and absurd. When the author saw this inanity of a crass commercial during ND itself for the first time a while back, he thought it was a lame joke or, perhaps, a jejune jab at F&F‘s famed “curvy couch.” But, it was not to be: It was actually a legitimate commercial. Yikes! It was especially jarring since CNN’s American Morning (an earlier ED iteration) co-hosts Kiran Chetry and John Roberts had covered the 2010 BP oil disaster in the Gulf of Mexico with exceptional reportage and sincere sensitivity.

Whenever this viewer watches Chris, Kate, and Michaela stroll to ND‘s “curvy couch” as the ad voice-over proclaims the merits of BP, he remembers the pollution from that oil company spill that savaged the Gulf of Mexico, its marine life, and the economic livelihoods of so many Gulf states natives. And, those images now spill over onto a seemingly much too cavalier New Day itself.

Scrub well with Dawn, ED, and start a whole new dawn!

Fox & Friends’ Hasselbeck: The New View

Brian Kilmeade: “It’s time for a new day.” Yesterday, former View co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck succeeded Gretchen Carlson as the new queen of the curvy couch. After being unceremoniously snubbed by Gretch Friday, Elisabeth returned the favor by not even alluding to her predecessor (even re the segments on the new Miss America winner): The return slight was made all the more conspicuous since Gretchen was excitedly celebrating her silver anniversary as Miss America. Perhaps, Elisabeth was simply letting the past be the past: After all, FNC had just created a new studio for the “high maintenance” lovely according to Judge Andrew Napolitano.*

The Survivor siren definitely has the potential to be a successful F&F co-host: She’s bright, tough, and beautiful–and she certainly has the requisite gorgeous gams to boot. Furthermore, she surely has the right mentality about the F&F family but she took the metaphor a mite too far in her tease preview vid when she deemed her co-hosts Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade to be like “my brothers”: obviously, F&F uses sexual tension, real or feigned, between the boys and the gal to help propel ratings.

But, apparently, as Brian said in the opening to the latest F&F iteration Monday, “It’s time for a new day.” Hopefully, F&F can keep its natural feel and flow even with the new gal and the new set (that looks somewhat like the one at CNN’s New Day re the imposing window and gigantic couch, ironically). However, if it assumes a highbrow Upper East Side vibe, its more humble flyover fans may be less apt to follow as assiduously as they usually do.

Good luck, Elisabeth! And, welcome to the show!

[Author’s aside: Elisabeth jokingly referred to herself as “high maintenance” when Judge Napolitano suggested that FNC had built a new F&F studio for the blond beauty.]

*Fox & Friends – 09/16/13 (@ 6:36 a.m. ET)

Gretch’s Strange Adjo: Snubs Hasselbeck

And takes a sly shot at Aly? Friday, Fox & Friends co-host Gretchen Carlson bid her co-hosts Brian Kilmeade and Steve Doocy adieu as she left the number one cable news morning program for her own soon to-be-announced afternoon show. In the penultimate segment of Gretchen’s final show, producers played a moving melange of some of her most memorable moments on F&F [vid(s) via J$P]: When the clips concluded, Gretchen thanked almost everyone (her co-anchors Brian and Steve, FNC meteorologist Maria Molina, hair-and-makeup, crew, producers, and even her alarm clocks)–but oddly she forgot about her fans or her successor Elisabeth Hasselbeck.

As to her fans, perhaps, Gretchen felt thanking them–seemingly at the cue of the teleprompter–at the start of the first and final hour of F&F for watching her for seven years seemed somewhat sufficient. However, Gretchen’s failure to even mention Elisabeth during the three hours appeared strange at best: Instead of acknowledging Elisabeth as the next queen of the curvy couch, Gretchen stayed focused on her own past on F&F; her future afternoon program on FNC; and her silver anniversary as Miss America. Perhaps, the most salient example of Gretchen’s omission occurred at the beginning of the second hour of F&F when Steve explained that the reason for all of the retrospection was that Friday was Gretchen’s last day and that Elisabeth would take over Monday: Instead of gracefully giving her seal of approval to Elisabeth, Gretchen simply smiled, nodded, and then pursed her lips.

As to the “sly shot at Aly” allusion, Gretchen opened the show, saying, “Today’s my last day….And, we’re gonna be looking at some things that…happened over the last seven years.” Raising her finger for emphasis, she smilingly added, “I do want to say however… that it’s somewhat of a good thing that I never once overslept….Three alarms set every night and somehow I always made it here.” As F&F fans may well remember, Gretchen’s premier fill-in co-host and fan fave Alisyn Camerota overslept this past summer and appeared approximately a half hour late for the show (and was sorely teased by Steve and Brian thereafter).

F&F interregnum weekend: Gretch is gone and Elisabeth is coming. May they both find success. And, hail to F&F‘s fair royal Aly who, at least, still rules F&F Weekend.

Five’s Bolling: Hasselbeck Hotter than Gretchen?

F&F’s Kilmeade: Carlson “gets a week off and then she’s back in action.” Oops! FNC Five anchor Eric Bolling and Brian Kilmeade may have been a bit too candid about the co-host change at Fox & Friends and the debut date of Gretchen Carlson‘s new FNC show Thursday.

In the penultimate segment of the Five (September 12), Eric announced that blond beauty “Elisabeth Hasselbeck will join the [F&F] team” on the following Monday.* As a frequent F&F fill-in co-host, Eric seemed especially excited to have her aboard, exclaiming, “She’s definitely bringing up the hotness chart on, on the Fox & Friends.”** Appearing to catch Eric’s seemingly unwitting slight of Gretchen who would leave her seat on the curvy couch the very next day, Five co-anchor Andrea Tantaros groaned, “Hey! Ohhh!”

Coming to Gretchen’s seeming succor, also, Five co-host Dana Perino intoned, “I’m excited for Gretchen, too, because she’ll have a show, uh, I guess, sometime during the day.” Interjecting immediately, Five guest co-host Brian Kilmeade replied, “Yeah! Sometime during the day, they’re going to announce this week that she gets a week off and then she’s back in action.” Appearing to try to cover for Brian’s apparent faux pas, Dana asked, “Just a week?” Smiling sheepishly, Brian replied, “Yeah, I think.”

On Thursday, it was definitely five o’clock at Fox News: In vino veritas, Eric and Brian? Elisabeth might not mind but Gretchen just might.

*The Five – 09/12/13 (@ 5:49 p.m. ET).

**Ibid at @ 5:51 p.m. ET.

Shepard Smith: I’m Gonna Go Away for a Bit

“When I eventually do return, I’ll be returning from the Fox News Deck.” Fox Report host Shepard Smith signed off Thursday from his evening show for good, sounding even more optimistic about his future at Fox News than Alan Colmes did when he left Hannity and Colmes for “greener pastures” five years ago.

Apparently making way for Megyn Kelly‘s imminent move to prime time, Shep bid adieu to his audience and announced the end of his evening show Thursday. In the final segment of Fox Report, Shep remarked, “I’ve been saying good night…for years and anchoring this newscast since 1999. But, for a while really, I’ve been well aware that most of you already know the news or much of it before we even sign on each evening.” Explicating the denouement of his Fox Report further, Shep said, “The world’s changed a lot in the last fourteen years: smartphones, Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram, and all the rest: We get the news in real time across lots of platforms, and frankly, this concept of anchor in the box telling you what happened hasn’t change that much since the 1960’s. It’s time for something new: And, we’re gonna lead the way!”

Announcing a hiatus of unknown duration, Shep added, “So, I’m gonna go away for a bit and get my bum shoulder fixed.” Assuring his FNC fans that his departure would not be permanent, Shep declared, “When I eventually do return, I’ll be returning from the Fox News Deck.” Elaborating, he said, “From there we’ll fuse multiple platforms and bring the global resources of this amazing company including social media and digital content to the screen all at once. And, on its time, not on ours!”

Optimistically, he promised, “I’ll report whenever the news happens no matter what program is scheduled.”  Shaking his head for emphasis, Shep declared, “It’s the most exciting venture of my career. My team and I are pumped. And, I hope you’ll come along for the ride.”

Concluding somewhat sentimentally, Shep remarked, “So, Fox Report‘s going away in the next few weeks. It’s been an honor and a privilege to anchor this newscast. Bigger and better is coming with Shepard Smith reporting from the Fox News Deck.”

Shep on Fox News Deck: But, will Ailes’ promise mean a real chance for Shep to go to bat and get a hit for himself and Fox News? If so, good luck, Shep: Get a hit!

Carol Alt’s New Show: Easy, Sexy–and, RAW!

A work in progress–hopefully! Former supermodel Carol Alt debuted her new afternoon FNC weekend show A Healthy You & Carol Alt Saturday with a cornucopia of information for her fans, fellow fitness freaks, and the casual viewer.* Unfortunately, the haut couture beauty seemed to think that she was filming a thirty-minute infomercial instead of debuting FNC’s next big hit–chirping constantly about herself, her health ken, and whatever else she could think of–proving the adage that silence is, or certainly can be, golden.

Carol’s start out-of-the-gate was assuredly awkward: But, she brought her game–at least, as to her knowledge of health. Now, the former Sports Illustrated and Playboy cover girl needs to step it up with her presentation–less self-promo and more edutainment. In other words, slow down, Carol, take a breath, and talk about your passion with your fans–not at them.

Good luck, Carol! Hope your new show is a success!

[Author’s aside: “Easy, Sexy–and, RAW!,” supra, is a less than subtle allusion to Carol’s book Easy Sexy Raw.]

*A Healthy You & Carol Alt – 09/07/13 (@ 4:00 p.m. ET)

Megyn: AE’s Secret, Shep’s Gaffe & Cine Cameo?

Memorable musings: Ainsley Earhardt hawks bikini babe; Shepard Smith shuns Fox News viewing; and Megyn Kelly cameos in Assange movie! Things the author should have probably said–yesterday.

On August 11, Fox & Friends Weekend guest co-host Ainsley divulged perhaps the “secret formula” for the storied success of FNC. After two too cute segments, F&FW meteorologist Rick Reichmuth remarked, “I think [that] we need to make a split screen of that baby and the panda bears: Yeah, and then just watch that all day long.” Concurring, anchor Tucker Carlson concurred, “That’s ratings gold.” Smiling racily, Ainsley added, “Put a girl in a bikini in the third slot, and there you go: Babies, pets, and girls!…This is what we learned in journalism school.”*

Five days later, as a Studio B segment concluded, host Shep unapologetically revealed, “I’m not much of a TV guy….There’s the Yankees, the Rebels, and the True Blood: That’s it! Nothing else!” Perhaps, after a word in his ear from producers, Shep hastily added, “Ah, and Megyn! I watch Megyn: She’s on vacation so I don’t have to watch her right now.”**

Yesterday, during his Fox & Friends review of the Toronto International Film Festival flicks, NerdTears.com film critic Kevin McCarthy disclosed that “Megyn Kelly makes an appearance” in The Fifth Estate, an Assange cine, which opens to the public on October 18. Elaborating, he said, “They have some news footage of her talking about the Wikileaks story….She’s in the movie a little bit from Fox News.”***

Trio’s musings import? Megyn Maxim, er, GQ goddess!

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 08/11/13 (@ 8:39 p.m. ET)

**Studio B with Shepard Smith – 08/16/13 (@ 3:55 p.m. ET)

***Fox & Friends – 09/06/13 (@ 8:25 a.m. ET)

Oops! Michaela Pereira’s Number Revealed!

Smart watch: dumb reporter? Today, New Day news anchor Michaela Pereira fell victim to the “eye of the camera”–and a CNN colleague’s naivete. In a segment on Samsung’s soon-to-be-released smartwatch, business correspondent Zain Asher gave Michaela and her New Day co-hosts Kate Bolduan and Chris Cuomo a revealing demonstration of what the smartwatch can do. After taking a photo of Kate and Chris, Zain called Michaela: when she did, the camera’s eye closed in on the face of the watch clearly showing Michaela’s phone number [(3**) 2**-***2] for approximately three seconds.*

When Michaela’s number appeared on the screen, Chris slyly interjected, “Why does Michaela have a 1-900 number?” Playing along with his futile attempt at legerdemaine, Michaela smiled suggestively and rolled her eyes racily. Then, when her phone began to ring, Michaela exclaimed, “Oh, there’s a phone call for me! I wonder who that could be!”

After today, that phone call could be from any of Michaela’s New Day fans. But, poor Zain should not feel too bad: she’s not the first one on CNN’s premier morning show to make that mistake. When John Roberts co-anchored American Morning (a New Day precursor), the veteran newscaster called Kiran Chetry on air with his cell phone and similarly displayed Kiran’s number for the world to see. Consequently, Kiran had to change her number: And, doubtlessly, so shall Michaela.

Smile, Michaela! It’s time for the “good stuff.” Time for your free upgrade!

*Early Day – 09/05/15 (@ 8:41 a.m. ET)

[Author’s aside: Obviously, Carpe Diem did not publish Michaela’s full phone number for privacy purposes.]

Juliet Huddy: I’ll Be Back

“Juggling many professional and personal commitments.” Today, Good Day NY anchor Juliet Huddy announced that she will be back on the O’Reilly Factor this Wednesday–after two unexplained absences from her weekly segment on the show, “Did You See That?.” In answer to a query from the author whether she were still an O’Reilly Factor correspondent (and a <em>Carpe Diem article by the author in that regard), a seemingly irked Juliet answered, “Didnt [sic] realize I had to send press releases out when off!!” More to the point, she continued, “I’ll be back Wed. Juggling many professional and personal commitments.” (Later, she kindly added, “Always happy to update!”)

Good luck on the juggling, Juliet! And, welcome back Wednesday!