F&F: SENATOR Brown Breaks Bad

“They just call me Scott.” The “cool” whilom GOP senator that took Dem lion “Ted Kennedy’s seat” took his seat on the curvy couch this morning. The former Cosmo nude pinup and its “America’s Sexiest Man” brought levity and gravity to the F&F set today as a holiday guest co-host fill-in for Steve Doocy. On one hand, “Senator Scott Brown” reminded viewers that he had infamously told supporters that his sexy daughters Ayla and Arianna were available at his U. S. Massachusetts Senatorial acceptance speech: On the other, the retired Army National Guard colonel tutored a guest on Army contractor liability.

On the fun side, the MA Senator revealed that he was familiar with the U.S. Senate etiquette police who insisted that the boys had to wear socks even if the female Senators were able to flash some ankle. Furthermore, in an F&F “Meet Scott“ segment [that showed footage of “Scott” jamming with Cheap Trick onstage (vid)], he exclaimed, “It was one of the highlights of my life playing with Rick Nielson, being pulled out of the crowd and playing with Cheap Trick!”

Understandably, F&F guest co-anchor Clayton Morris referred to Brown as “Senator” and F&F co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck called him Colonel. But, if Senator and/or Colonel Scott Brown is going to make it on the curvy couch, he will have to be just Scott: “Senator” or “Colonel” is fine for a guest but it is unacceptable for a real “Friend.”

Welcome to the curvy couch, Senator. Since you are scheduled to back on F&F tomorrow, maybe, the author  should say, “Welcome to the curvy couch, Scott!”

[Author’s aside: Re the subtitle, supra, in the opening “A block” introducing Senator Scott Brown to the F&F fans, the “Senator” said, “Kids, you know how it goes, but they just call me ‘Scott’ certainly.”]

Update: Perchance, Scott read Carpe Diem: When he returned to F&F the very next day (12/30/14), he was welcomed back to the curvy couch by Elisabeth as “Senator Brown”: He replied, “Just call me, Scott, guys!”

Pinup Maria: She’s No “Angel”!

Molina: “The ride of my life….I passed out!” Flushed FNC meteorologist Maria Molina looked like a young Hollywood starlet who had just enjoyed “one wild ride” after she took the “ride of her life” with her Blue Angel escort.

Sharing her exciting personal encounter with one of America’s elite aviators on Fox & Friends First Wednesday, “Cosmo‘s Caliente Latina” gushed, “I had the incredible honor of flying with the Blue Angels and the experience blew my mind! Introducing her with footage of her flight, Maria exclaimed, “I knew it was going to be awesome. And, take a look for yourself at the ride of my life!”*

Subsequently, vid ran of Maria’s fearless navy flyer taking her on a fast steep climb, reaching six plus “g’s”: As he encouraged her on, Maria fainted and her helmeted head hit the cockpit glass hard. Coming too groggily, she reached frantically for the side of the cockpit, exclaiming, “I pa…I passed out!” When her sympathetic pilot answered, “Yeah. How you feeling?,” Maria repeated, “I passed out! What happened?” As she caught her breath, her Blue Angel asked, “We…pulled…some ‘g’ there: But, you back with me now?” Still light-headed, an ashen Maria reiterated, “Yeah! I passed out!”

As her Blue Angel clip continued with more aerial acrobatics to follow, voice-over Maria intoned, “So, what’s it like sitting in the cockpit of an F-18 jet? Well, it’s one wild ride!” As her “wild ride” ended and her plane taxied down the runway, on-vid Maria intoned, “Perfect landing!” When the cockpit cover opened for her to emerge, Maria look radiantly ruddy, demurely doe-eyed, and sensually smiling as if she were a pinup that once adorned America’s fearless fighter jets.

Maria Molina may be no “Angel”: But, the the navy boys seemed mighty happy to finally have their favorite pinup on their plane again–and, in person!

*Fox & Friends First – 03/19/14 (@ 4:22 a.m. ET). [N.B. Vid footage on F&F – contains same clip as F&FF.]

Stormy Maria: Inked Pink!

Molina reveals her secret “tart tatt”–nine months late. For Carpe Diem fans of the Fox News weather gal Maria Molina, a/k/a “Cosmo’s caliente Latina,” the revelation was a long time coming. Over nine months ago, the author noted the barbed pink/red ringlet adorning Maria, Tweeting her, “[I]s that a red “barb” tattoo or a beauty mark on your left wrist?” Not a word from the Nicaraguan nymph: Perhaps, the demure beauty thought that FNC was a tatt-free zone and she did not want to be dispatched posthaste like her comely “spanked and spurned” predecessor Domenica Davis.

Nevertheless, Monday, F&F newsreader Heather Nauert outed the demure damsel on F&F‘s After the Show Show. During the episode entitled, “Hidden talents,” with Maria, Heather, and co-hosts, Elisabeth Hasselbeck and Steve Doocy, on the curvy couch,  Heather abruptly turned to Maria, teasing, “Give me your hand here! Give me your hand! What is that on your wrist?”*

Embarrassed, Maria initially pulled her arm away from Heather: Then, complying, she gave her hand to Heather. Subsequently, Heather (and Elisabeth) turned Maria’s arm for all of her F&F fans to see the reddish pink symbol inked on her wrist. Interjecting, Steve intoned, “Wait! Wait!…Oh, look at that: it’s a stamp!”

Chiming in, Heather added, “It looks like she was at a little club.”

Chagrined, Maria admitted, “It’s a tattoo.” Shyly, she subsequently explained, “It’s actually a tropical storm.” Then, she added, “It’s supposed to be Hurricane Andrew. And, that’s the reason I became a meteorologist.”

Sounds good–at least, to the parents. But, for ardent acolytes of the smoldering Maria Molina, her explanation seems almost too convenient. For those votaries of a tropical stormy Maria, her symbol looks almost a little like the inchoate etchings of Pamela Anderson’s racy barbed wire.

To quote Eminem, “Maybe, that’s what happens when a tornado meets a volcano.” Maria, “love the way you lie.” Or, not.

[Author’s aside: Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler weighs in? “Pink is my favorite color.”]

*A.S.S. (12/16/13) – @ 03:08/04:20

H/t: J$P. (Steve Doocy’s “shout-out” to J$.)

CNN’s Indra vs. FNC’s Maria: Weathergal Catfight?

Rowrrr! Yesterday, Early Start co-anchor John Berman introduced blonde beauty Indra Petersons as “our brand new CNN meteorologist and the newest addition to our team here in the morning.”* The Latvian lovely stands in stark contrast to Cosmo’s caliente Nicaraguan nymph Maria Molina, the brunette beauty who just snared her own early morn Monday-through-Friday gig on FNC.

According to IndraPetersons.com, Indra is of Latvian heritage, speaks the language fluently, and has learned her country’s “native folk songs and dances” (including the polka). Furthermore, she is said to be a Los Angeles native who started her career in El Paso at KVIA as a weathergal; moved on to Santa Barbara at KEYT as a meteorologist; and then went to Los Angeles’ ABC7 in 2004 as not only the weatherwoman but also as a “general assignment reporter” before replacing Rob Marciano as CNN’s premier meteorologist.  As far as her hobbies are concerned, the hottie is a travel enthusiast who chronicles here travels on her Facebook page.

Whether one agrees with global warming or not, the weather just got a lot hotter with the new girl in town! And, the mornings may dawn just a little sweeter with the potential pillow fights in the offing between CNN’s new  long-tressed towhead and her FNC brown-maned rival. CNN’s Indra vs. FNC’s Maria: a cable dream pay-per-view!

*Early Start – 05/20/13 (@ 6:05 a.m. ET)

Maria Molina: Tart Tatt or Beauty Birthmark?

Pretty in pink. Hottie FNC meteorologist Maria Molina is on a new schedule and is sporting a new look. Cosmo‘s caliente Latina announced a few weeks ago that she will be on Fox News from 5 a.m. to 12 noon E.T. Mondays through Fridays: Apparently, Maria has replaced Janice Dean on Fox & Friends First on Thursdays and Fridays.

As to her new look, Maria eschews her nubial naked appeal re jewelry: Instead, the Nicaraguan nymph now not only wears her de rigeur earrings but also she “dresses to kill” (vid) as she dons a bracelet on her left wrist and a watch on her right one. Consequently, her fans rarely espy that pink ring with two barbs on the bottom of her left wrist hidden that seemed to whisper naughty nothings to her fans.*

Still, tatt or birthmark? ‘Fess up, Maria!

[Author’s aside: Whether her beauty barbs are a tatt or a beauty mark, she has failed to disclose when asked.]

*Fox & Friends First – 04/09/13 (5:38 a.m. ET)

Alya Brown Talks Nudity

Her dad’s past Cosmo appearance and her own possible future pose(s). Massachussetts Senator Scott Brown’s sexy daughter Alya Brown discussed nudity with America Live’s hottie host Megyn Kelly in an interview Monday. Broaching the topic, Megyn queried, “Speaking of embarrassing and fun, he [Scott Brown] also posed for Cosmo…[that] centerfold picture of him which…had a lot of women swooning….[W]hat do think when you see your dad in such a photo?” Nonchalantly, Alya answered, “Honestly, it happened so long ago before I was born that I can’t judge him for it.” Saucily, she teased, “And, if Arianna [her sister] or myself wanted to pose nude, he also can’t say anything about it.”

Aly: Scott Brown Girl?

Is Fox & Friends co-host Alisyn Camerota, the Bristol Bay Babe, becoming a Scott Brown girl? Yesterday, she interviewed Amber Lee Ettinger who famously had a “crush on Obama.” Today, Aly expressed her own enthrallment with Obama’s potential GOP counterpart, the newly elected Massachusetts Senator Scott Brown.

In a segment entitled “Scott Brown’s Sit-Down” (featuring footage of Barbara Walter’s interview of Brown on This Week), Aly declared, “People are so entranced, frankly, by Scott Brown right now ’cause he seems like a regular guy. He’s so interesting.” Co-anchor Steve Doocy interjected, “Entranced?” Aly replied, “Yes.” Steve teased, “You’re eyes are getting heavy? That kind?” Appearing to be only jesting somewhat, Aly rejoined, “Entranced, yes. I’m hypnotized by him, actually. And, it’s just because of the [halting pause]. Steve prompted, “Cosmo?” Grinning, Aly agreed, “Cosmo thing.”

Aly seems to be only following in the coquettish ways of the Obama Girl. Hopefully, she will not proceed further into the seductive paths of another former morning news show (Today) co-host, i.e., the aforementioned Barbara Walters. She, too, had a certain something for another married moderate Republican Massachusetts Senator, Edward Brook. But, she did something about it.

By the way, Aly, if Brown can use his nude Cosmo pictorial to help capture his Senate seat, surely, you can parlay your sexy bikini pic into “bigger and better” things. Gretchen’s seat? Or, even Greta’s?

AM: Judgmental John?

After a salacious American Morning segment about newly elected Massachusetts Republican Senator Scott Brown and his daughters, co-host John “I Got a Closet, Too” Roberts just had to moralize this morning. When the Jeanne Moos story entitled “Dad Said What?!” (featuring Brown posing nude in Cosmo in 1982 as it’s “Sexiest American Man; his American Idol contestant daughter Alya singing and dancing saucily on stage at the victory party–not to mention, gasp!–pulling confetti from her cleavage; and Brown playfully announcing that his single daughters were “available”) had run, John sarcastically stated, “Thanks, Dad!”  Co-anchor Kiran laughingly replied, “It wasn’t that bad: He was just teasing! I thought they were real, really cute.”

Looking straight ahead, John deadpanned, “Mm-kay.” When he then turned to Kiran, she asked incredulously, You thought it was bad?” As he hesitantly began to open his mouth, Kiran queried, “Did you?” Seemingly cloaked in sheep’s clothing, he lupinely grinned, “Oh, yeah!” In response, Kiran simply smiled and shook her head in disbelief.”

John, the liberal lion of the Senate would be disappointed, too. After all, when it comes to filling his shoes as to such mores, Brown appears to be yet a mere lightweight. Seemingly, he still has much to learn.

Fox & “Fiends” Halloween

What was in Fox & Fiends Weekend witches’ brew this morning? According to the author’s recollections still clouded by this intriguing intoxicant, the odd ingredients were co-anchor Clayton Morris’ missing wedding ring, Rick Reichmuth’s piece of chocolate corset, and Dave Briggs’s drink of Cosmo with a dance by Alisyn Camerota to conjure up the potion’s magic. Eerily, this strange and powerful potation seemed to have worked its evil, making a “show about nothing” eminently watchable.

Seemingly, the first element placed into the blackened kettle was Clayton’s wedding band to add a golden glow. (If so, his wife Sara may not be overly pleased.) Apparently, the second was Rick’s strip of chocolate cloth torn from a maiden’s bodice. (Viewers, whether F&F’s meteorologist did indeed lick the young New York Chocolate Show model’s corset as proffered has yet to be determined.) Then Dave seemed to have added a glass of his Sex and the City fave Cosmo. (During the show, he seemed to have enjoyed its effects as he transmogrified from a mild-mannered family guy to a zany Kramer nailing the Seinfeld character’s speech, mannerisms, and dance.)* For the diabolic denouement, the bewitching damsel Aly did her Elaine dance before the final curtain call.

An unforgettable show? Perhaps, so. Dear reader, when the evil elixir wears off, hopefully, the author can remember these things if they were so.

*[For a snippet of Dave doing Kramer, cf. the A.S.S.]