Kilmeade’s “Man” Fail

Brian: “I kinda of failed at the manhood thing….I’m a man in training.” Indeed! Where was Steve Doocy? In an incredible display of ineptness at basic “masculinity” this morning, Fox & Friends co-host Brian Kilmeade showed his lack of the basic knowledge of how to change a tire. Hilarious!

In a segment with Derrick Van Orden, the author of Book of Man: A Former Navy Seal’s Guide to the Lost Art of Manhood, Brian and guest co-anchor Scott Brown were given the simple task of changing a tire to prove that they were real men ostensibly for co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck. As Scott began to jack up the car, Brian enthusiastically began to take off the lug nuts as if he were in a pit crew for an Indy race. Instead of loosening the lug nuts before Scott raised the car enough to take the tire off, Brian pulled all of them off except one before Scott had jacked the auto up and stabilized it. Suddenly, the car lurched forward and the jack began to fall: As Brian inexplicably tried to remove the tire, which would have resulted in the car hitting the ground unceremoniously and, possibly injuring him and others, the Navy SEAL aptly intervened, saying, “Stop what you’re doing; let it down; the jack has fallen.”

Ever waggish, Brian intoned, “This is why I have a triple “A” (AAA) card!”

Thankfully!

[Author’s aside: Even though the author thinks that characterizing changing a tire as masculine is intrinsically sexist–the author’s sisters may well prefer that their guys do it but they certainly could do it if they so desired–Brian and Scott failed at the “man” test. Obviously, Brian and Scott should have put the car in gear or in park and put the emergency brake on first. Then, Scott should have jacked up the car a bit with the wheel still soundly in touch with the ground; Brian should have loosened the lug nuts; Scott should have jacked the auto up until the tire cleared the ground; Brian should have removed the tire; and then they could have replaced the tire.]

[Author’s aside #2: Fox & Friends posted a vid of Brian and Scott being “men” by tying a tie and tying a knot but they have not posted the one of the epic “man” fail by the guys.]

Camerota Gets Naked– Yet Again!

Aly Cat: Rowrr! Today, sexy New Day anchor Alisyn Camerota provided her male admirers with a view that they will relish. A Playboy spread? Not quite. But, she did show some skin–the sight of her naked ring finger this morning.

Lest Aly’s amorous acolytes get too excited, she has gone bare before. After an unexplained two-month absence from her then show Fox & Friends Weekend, she similarly doffed her connubial bling when she appeared as a Fox & Friends Friday guest co-host: Of course, Loverboy was performing “Everybody’s Working for the Weekend” that Friday for F&F’s 2011 “All-American Summer” concert series that day and the bohemian hottie was ready to party (vid). A few years later, (01/04/14), Aly was at it again as she flashed her tanned nude marital ring finger to her acolytes when she guest co-anchored America’s News HQ.

Now, Aly has changed networks from the irreverent cable news ratings champ network Fox News to the more staid 24/7 cable news pioneer. Now, her hemline often drops too low and her neckline rises too high. But, she is still giving her fans the finger–not the mean one.

“Naked Aly”: It has a certain seductive ring to it. For her fervent votaries, it resounded all the more today. Rowrr: Aly Cat is back–at least, for today!

 [Author’s aside: Re Aly Cat, “ages ago,” when Aly guest co-hosted a segment with Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade on F&F about with what animal the co-anchors identified most, Aly purred, “Cat.” (For curious F&F fans, Steve answered, “Unicorn,” and Brian declared, “Lion.”)]

Media Buzz: Haughty Howie

Kurtz: “You might even get a response from me.” What a Sunday “beast”: Howie, you’re on Fox News now! Media Buzz host Howard Kurtz sounded today like he is still with the media effete elite.

Closing his show today, Howie promoted his social media site and e-mail address, saying, “That’s it for this edition of Media Buzz: I’m Howard Kurtz. We hope you’ll ‘like’ our Facebook page….Send us an e-mail with a media question, not a political speech: FoxMediaBuzz@foxnews.com, Fox MediaBuzz@foxnews.com.” Raising his eyebrows high with a smile at his lowly FNC audience, he added, “You might even get a response from me.”

From Fox & Friends to “Howie & Haughty”: What a segue! If Howard is lucky, he “might even get a response from me.” I guess he just did!

Howie, you’re on Fox News now: Don’t insult your viewer!

Update: Howie humbler a week later: More respectful of his FNC audience Sunday, Kurtz closed his show, saying, “That’s it for this edition of Media Buzz: I’m Howard Kurtz….Remember that you can always check out our Facebook page….Email us at MediaBuzz@foxnews.com. Questions about the media I will respond online: maybe, even here.” [Italics added for emphasis.]

Kelly Zings Kilmeade

Kelly: Well that changes everything…It’s all forgiven! On the Kelly File tonight, Fox & Friends co-host Brian Kilmeade got his head handed to him on a platter by none other than FNC colleague and no-nonsense anchor Megyn Kelly. In the latest of their engaging segments (on Deflategate this evening), Brian opined about New England Patriot quarterback Tom Brady’s contumacious reaction to the NFL’s suspension of him for four games, the self-acknowledged “Deflator,” and Patriot owner Bob Kraft. Even though Brian expressed skepticism about Brady who reportedly failed to turn over his text messages, he seemed to give Kraft a pass–and a sop.

As Megyn grilled Brian about Deflategate, Brian mentioned that the “Deflator” Patriot ball handler was actually indicating that he wanted to lose weight according to the Brady rebuttal. As they both scoffed at the account, Megyn sarcastically responded, “In particular, that works with men. Every man wants to be told that he can deflate.” Before chuckling at her ribald reply, Brian exclaimed, “Right!”

Cutting to the quick, Megyn queried, “So, you don’t feel confident about Brady’s defense?” Brian answered, “No.” Coming to Kraft’s defense immediately and almost instinctively, Brian responded, “But, I will say this. Bob Kraft is the owner of the team, a great guy: He watches the show: He’s a huge fan of yours. And, I feel bad because I don’t want to be Stephanopoulos.”

Derisive of Brian’s attempt to ingratiate her into obeisance, Megyn declared, “Well, that changes everything!…Why didn’t you tell me that? It’s all forgiven! Never mind, they’re being railroaded.”

Unfortunately, as usual, Brian impulsively comes anew to the defense of Kraft, the owner of the Patriots who have been implicated in both Spygate and Deflategate. But, as usual, Megyn brooks no such bias from friend or foe. Megyn Kelly: Kicking butt even if it is F&F‘s Brian Kilmeade!

Hannity’s Coed “Debauchery”

“T & a”: randy O’Reilly style! Sean Hannity, host of his eponymous program, seems to have taken a page out of O’Reilly Factor anchor Bill O’Reilly‘s old playbook. Decry debauchery but let your audience enjoy the view without feeling too guilty. Tuesday night, Hannity introduced his show with approximately fifteen seconds of coed “t & a,” piously intoning, “After years of out-of control partying, chaos, crime, and now even rape, Panama City Beach, Florida, finally votes to clean up spring break!”

Announcing a “Fox News Alert,” a la O’Reilly, Hannity proudly proclaimed the efficacy of his show, saying, “Panama City, Florida, is taking major steps tonight in order to end the chaos and the crime that has plagued the city during spring break: The city council has now voted to ban alcohol on the beach and try to stop all of this out of control behavior. Now, following a two-year Hannity investigation into what really happens when your kids jet off to spring break, we discover, in fact, that it was not all fun in the sun. This year alone the partying scene was wrought with debauchery, wide-spread drug abuse, gang rapes, and even multiple attempted murders.” He continued, “So, in response, finally…the Panama City Beach city council voted unanimously last night to ban alcohol on the beach during the month of March next year–that’s the height of spring bring…and to end all booze sales after 2 a.m….

In the segment with a Panama City Beach city councilman, an attorney, and an activist, Hannity, queried, “So, the question is ‘will these new common sense measures curtail the very dangerous spring break situation that Panama City Beach has been experiencing?”‘ As the three showered approbation on Hannity for the good that he had wrought in his campaign against a raucous spring break in Panama City Beach, footage ran of bikini-clad beauties twerking, funneling beer, etc. for over three full straight minutes! Subsequently, Hannity introduced his sexy seemingly naive investigative reporter Ainsley Earhardt in the next segment, praising her, stating, “By the way, joining us now…[is]…the co-host of Fox & Friends First, She’s been down there two years in a row. Ainsley Earhardt is with us.”

Introducing a Daily Show clip of anchor Jon Stewart ridiculing the spring break hype of Hannity, Hannity exclaimed, “We took a lot of heat, we got a lot of ridicule, let’s remind people of what we got when we started our coverage.” In the Daily Show snippet, Stewart derisively declared, “Yes, America’s oldest hall monitor, Sean Hannity, dedicated not one, not two, but five different shows on the horrors of spring break including the entire hour on Friday featuring a panel of outraged experts there to expose this annual event. You will believe what they found ’cause you know.” As he aired a clip of Hannity’s show of seemingly buzzed bathing beauties imbibing and twerking as Hannity voices over, “Drinking, drugs, risky behavior, sometimes with tragic results,” Stewart snarked, “Shortly, after filming that piece, that young [twerking] woman blew out her left butt cheek. Some of the more skeptical viewers might think that this is less of a news story and more of a reason to spend a week running wildly inappropriate “t & a” footage alongside pundits tsk’ing said footage. But, you’d only be 99.9% right.”

As Ainsley and another FNC contributor decried the Panama City Beach spring break scene, Hannity aired approximately four additional minutes of “debauchery” for those viewers who needed yet more evidence of the evils that Ainsley had witnessed. And, for those who wanted yet more proof, Hannity produced approximately another minute of footage during the following segment with Ainsley and Geraldo Rivera (about how things are purported “spinning out of control,” namely the “debauchery happening at spring break, riots in Baltimore, and, of course, the war on cops all across the country”).

Debauchery” on display: O’Reilly’s old schtick. Now, Hannity’s new hook? Surprise, surprise: Sex sells!

Outnumbered Turns One: Sexy Fun Facts

Fans may have missed about Andrea, Kimberly, and Ainsley. Friday, the Outnumbered co-host hotties featured fun, frisky moments from their inaugural year in a highlight reel: Today, Carpe Diem adds a few sexy memorable facts for the delectable dames’ devotees.

Outnumbered‘s lovely ladies (Andrea Tantaros, Kirsten Powers, Harris Faulkner, and Sandra Smith) Friday celebrated their favorites moments, including what saucy Andrea thinks of when she tries on her swimsuits for the very first time; how a married Harris checks outs a good-looking guy; why one HAS to marry an alluring Ainsley Earhardt; who comely Kirsten Powers thinks is hot; and which heated host was in Janet Jackson‘s Black Cat video–in a cage.

Carpe Diem remembers other sexy fun facts from the gorgeous gals: Andrea racily revealed that she sleeps in the nude;* Kimberly Guilfoyle coquettishly admitted that she was once a Victoria’s Secret model and that she still has “great lingerie” that she models at home;** and Ainsley blushingly disclosed that a certain ex had cheated on her and confidently added, “It was all good; it’s for the best; now I’m married to an amazing guy!“***

Happy anniversary, Outnumbered beauties!

*Outnumbered – 07/02/14 (@ 12:58 p.m. ET).

**Outnumbered – 09/01/14 (@ 12:55 p.m. ET).

***Outnumbered – 11/24/14 (@ 12:58 p.m. ET).