Cuomo Tweaks “Really Dumb” Carlson Twerk?

Flexin’ Fetchin’ Gretchen: “This [twerk] seems more like a hula!” Yesterday, CNN’s New Day co-anchor Chris Cuomo appeared ready for bear as he took aim at his FNC Fox & Friends rival Gretchen Carlson seemingly Friday. On the very day after the Huffington Post mocked Gretchen for her twerking a la Miley Cyrus on air Thursday, Chris seemed strangely eager to get in a sharp jab at Gretchen.

When a ND story on the birth of panda twins in Atlanta began to wrap Friday, Chris stammered, “I don’t believe, I think it’s really dumb when you see these newscasters trying to twerk.”* Pointing his finger at his audience for added emphasis, he continued, “But, I do believe it is not done very cute and we should try best panda sound.” Smiling dismissively, his co-host Kate Bolduan riposted, “I can not believe [that] you made a twerk/panda reference!” Paying her little mind at most, Chris answered, “Of course, when you see them trying that, you’re like, ‘why are they doing that?'”

Perhaps, Chris, Gretchen is twerking toward that full twelve years for F&F as “king of the hill.” Who knows? If Kate follows suit, she might well give ND, at least, a fighting chance against FNC’s inimical juggernaut.

[Author’s aside: Gretchen’s quote in the subtitle was the remark that she made after briefly trying to twerk, supra.**]

*New Day – 08/30/13 (@ 7:46 a.m. ET)

**Fox & Friends – 08/29/13 (@ 7:48 a.m. ET)

Pereira: Berman, “Are You Coming Back?”

John: “At this point, I’m not so sure.” Today, Early Start anchors John Berman and Zoraida Sambolin were absent yet again with no explanation to their viewers. In fact, co-anchors, Michaela Pereira and Poppy Harlow welcomed their audience to the show and introduced themselves as if they were the regular co-hosts. Perhaps, the only reassuring note to Zoraida and John’s fans was the very brief introductory chyron, “earlystart with JOHN BERMAN & ZORAIDA SAMBOLIN.”

Furthermore, if Early Start viewers had tuned in to New Day Wednesday, they may have wondered all the more if John and Zoraida were gone for good. In the penultimate segment of New Day, John gave his quirky diurnal “Award of the Day” from D.C.: As he concluded, ND news anchor Michael Pereira asked, “Are you coming back to us some nice time soon?” Grinning, he answered, “At this point, I’m not so sure.”

Have no fear, John and Zoraida votaries: If their Tweets are true, they are absent with leave. On Monday, John wrote, “Hey! Hello Morning People! I’m in DC this week filling-in on @TheLeadCNN (and watching @Early StartCNN & New Day on TV).” On the preceding Friday, Zoraida announced, “Headed into surgery with Dr. Kim Plastic and RJ the sleep doctor #breast cancer #anesthesia #dynamicduo.” (Saturday, she added, “This final surgery was a [sic] uneventful and I am feeling great.”)

Perhaps, it is no big deal to CNN suits who anchors Early Start. But, they may want to consider that John and Zoraida are the very first ones who welcome their audience to the CNN day. And, faithful viewers tend to prefer to be awakened at dawn by a friend, not a stranger.

Five’s Beckel: Hey, Gum This, Andrea Tantaros!

Kimberly Guilfoyle: “Bob…do you know what you just said!” Today, The Five unfiltered co-host Bob Beckel took his hyper-sexual schtick to a whole new level–at the expense of his co-anchor Andrea Tantaros. When the Greek beauty tried to conclude her segment timely this afternoon (on the “Red Line in Syria”) and tease the next block, Bob babbled on: Seemingly irritated at his puerile solipsism, Andrea chided, “Bob, as my tenth grade biology teacher used to say, ‘Give the gums a rest!'”* Unrepentant, Bob bawdily riposted, “Hey, gum this!”

As a smiling Andrea tried to gamely soldier on in her segue, her aghast off-camera co-host Kimberly Guilfoyle exclaimed, “Terrible! Terrible!” Aptly, pricking the priapic Philistine further, she added, “Bob, I mean, do you know what you just said!”

The Five‘s bad boy? Nah, he probably had no clue. Yeah, right!

*The Five – 08/28/13 (@ 5:45 p.m. ET)

Bikini Babe Anna? “Ha Dream On! No Way!”

Visions of Anna come true: Yes way! Sexy Fox News correspondent Anna Kooiman got clingy wet Friday as she previewed the Red Bull Cliff Diving World Series in Boston. For fans who wanted to see their favorite bathing beauty in action, Anna Tweeted twice Thursday and thrice Friday that she herself would be “in the drink” in her cliff diving segment. And, she delivered–in a hot purple tank top and skin-tight black shorts. [“>Vid via J$P.] At least, she thought that she did.

But, one fan was less than impressed with Anna’s 30-foot plunge into the Boston harbor (or her preceding interview of an elite American about the contest in which competitors strut their stuff from a higher platform of 90-feet). Disappointed, he testily Tweeted, “C’mon Anna we all tuned in to see you in a bikini! What the heck?” In riposte, she jibed, “Ha Dream on! No way!”

Happily, for such Anna acolytes, their beloved beauty has not always had such qualms. In her pre-FNC days, she proudly posed in her itty bitty bikini with an apparent beau. Furthermore, in seemingly the same time period, the saucy siren unabashedly rocked another skimpy bikini for the appreciative eyes of, perhaps, that same lucky sailor. [Pic 1, pic 2].

Bikini babe Anna? Dream on! Her fans get the last laugh.

Huddy: “On Oreilly every Wednesday.” Not!

[Updated, infra.] “Did You See That?” Fox & Friends First co-host Heather Nauert took Juliet Huddy‘s signature segment tonight on the O’Reilly Factor with nary a word of explanation from Bill (nor even a Tweet peep from Juliet).* In fact, when Bill introduced Heather to the absent Juliet’s “Did You See That?” audience (on CDC excessive alcohol use data), he simply said, “And, here now to explain further, Fox News correspondent Heather Nauert.” When Heather had finished opining and bantering with Bill, Bill presented the blond beauty further to his audience as a Fox & Friends First co-host on at 5:00 a.m.–the show that followed his own in its final airing of the night: But, no mention of Juliet.

Simply an oversight by “William” of his faithful friend? Perhaps. However, only yesterday, Juliet had confidently proclaimed, “On Oreilly [sic] every Wednesday” (when a Twitter follower had asked, “Where have you been…no more Oreilly or curvy couch?”). This Wednesday, she was nowhere to be found on O’Reilly: But, she was assuredly on Twitter, Tweeting thirteen missives–not a single one about her absence tonight.

O’Reilly Factor: Huddy out, Heather in? Stay tuned.

O’Reilly Factor – 08/21/13 (@ 8:49 p.m. ET)

Update: For the second week in a row (08/28/13), Huddy was still M.I.A.: America’s Newsroom co-anchor Martha MacCallum served instead as O’Reilly’s correspondent on “Did You See That?” Once again, Bill made no mention of Juliet on his show nor did Juliet provide any explanation via her Twitter chatter. O’Reilly Factor – 08/28/13 (11:49 p.m. ET).

Oops! F&F’s All-American Summer “Scat” Series?

Unedited “Rough and Ready” (“a**hole”): Bob Beckel bumper music? Today, Fox & Friends seemingly turned their song selection over again to The Five‘s filter-intolerant co-host (the big bumptious one who seems to continuously soil FNC’s afternoon airwaves with scatalogical expletives). Last month (July 10), F&F producers carelessly closed a baseball segment to the tune of “Boys Round Here” as Blake Shelton sang “Backwoods legit, don’t take no sh*t.” Today, they one upped–or one downed–themselves: They teased an upcoming “Shot of the Day” segment to “Rough and Ready” as Trace Adkins raucously belted out, “Got a what are you looking at? A**hole smirk.”*

Strangely, no apologies were offered when F&F resumed after the commercial break. Oops: Another F&F Bob-ble!

[Author’s aside: According to HuffPo, J$P caught Bob‘s third “‘s’ word in recent memory” last Wednesday: If the author heard him correctly, Bob said it for a fourth time last Friday after hurting his hand at the close of his The Five segment (08/16/13 – @ 5:52 p.m. ET).]

*F&F – 08/19/13 (@ 8:27 a.m. ET)

Comely Kiran Crowns New Miss Nepal US [Pic]

Chetry comes back for an encore. Former CNN/FNC anchor Kiran Chetry returned to the limelight last night to crown the 2013 Miss Nepal US at the Queens Theater in New York City. Before doing so, Kiran excitedly alerted her fans, Tweeting, “I’m judging tonight’s amazing #missnepalus pageant! Joining Miss Nepal 2002 Malvika Subba, Kiran scored sixteen sexy, talented contestants (video) and awarded the title to the beautiful Bartika Rai of New York. After doing so, Kiran a/k/a Ms. Nepal US emerita, personally placed the coveted tiara on Miss Rai.

For her fans who have missed her since her days as CNN’s “Chetrylicious” American Morning anchor, Kiran proved that she still has the look–and the legs. As she installed the lovely 2013 Miss Nepal US, the sexy Nepalese American journalist herself wowed the crowd in her short, strapless “little black dress.” [Pic]

Hurry back, Kiran!

[Author’s aside: The subtitle, supra, refers to Kiran’s role as a 2011 Miss Nepal US[A] judge.]

Prime-Time Megyn: “Hannity & Kelly”?

Roger Ailes’ “Minor Change”? In an exclusive Thursday, the Drudge Report reported that Fox News was “set to make its first primetime schedule change in 10 years” and that “superstar newswoman Megyn Kelly [had] landed the 9 PM slot” according to its top sources. When asked about that “rumor” by Fox News’s Neil Cavuto, FNC chief Roger Ailes responded, “Well, generally, I don’t confirm or deny any rumors….However, Megyn has earned a better time period: She’ll be in our prime-time lineup. But, I must quickly say that all of our stars will be back: We have new deals with (Sean) Hannity and Greta (Van Susteren) and Shep(ard Smith).” Noticing Ailes’ obvious omission, Cavuto quizzically commented, “So, it sounds to me like (Bill) O’Reilly‘s gone: Mischievously, Ailes answered, “Yep, he’s finished, that’s it! No, I’m just kidding.”*

According to New York Times columnist Bill Carter, the prevailing speculation is that Megyn will get her own hour and Sean Hannity will move to the 7:00 p.m. slot (replacing Fox Report with Shepard Smith) and Shep will move to an afternoon hour. However, in his Cavuto interview, Ailes himself cryptically remarked, “We have a great roster of talent: I am making a few minor changes….You have to choose well in the first place and have the guts to stay with people who can do the job. And, that’s what I try to do.”** Furthermore, he reportedly explained, “One of my jobs is to get the best audience flow between shows and that’s one of the reason[s] I’m making a few changes right now.”***

And, that very audience of Ailes in both prime-time and full-day ratings “has had a median age of 65-plus (according to the aforementioned NYT author). If the anecdotal observation that older people tend to be resistant to change is true, Ailes would do well to only “[make] a few minor changes” as he seeks to facilitate the “best audience flow” of his hyper-loyal older viewers (and tries  to attract a younger demographic at the same time). Creating three new shows for Megyn, Hannity, and Shep, as the NYT suggested, seems more than a few major changes–especially, when Gretchen Carlson’s new fall show and, an imminent iteration of Fox & Friends (with new co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck) are added into the mix.

“Hannity and Kelly”? Don’t count it out.

*Therightscoop.com (video and text) – 08/08/13.

**Ibid.

***Therightscoop.com (video) – 08/08/3 (@ 02:12/04:13).

[Author’s aside: If Megyn does indeed join Hannity, Ailes real primetime schedule (8-11 p.m.), the hosts will represent true-blue gender equality surpassing rivals CNN and MSNBC.]

Zoraida Returns: ES Star Sparkles

Sambolin: “Yay! I’m so happy to be back!” Early Start co-host Zoraida Sambolin returned Monday “healthy and very happy” to her relieved fans after a double mastectomy due to her recently-diagnosed breast cancer after a six-week medical leave. Trying to suppressing a huge smile as the show started, Zoraida declared, “Good morning and welcome to Early Start!” Looking over at her co-anchor John Berman, she began to heartily clap, exclaiming, “Yay! I’m so happy to be back! Folks, thank you so much!”

Beaming, John replied, “Yes, you are! So nice to have you back.” Self-deprecatingly, he added, “I’m the other guy!”

Chuckling appreciatively, Zoraida replied, “Yeah!”

Yeah. The earnest, sweet, and, sexy Zoraida is still assuredly the best way to awaken the CNN dawn. Nevertheless, John, an easy-listening wisecracker has definitely made ES a much more welcome wake-up call since he replaced Zoraida’s first co-host Ashleigh Banfield, a chatty, cacophonous alarm without a ready snooze button.

Welcome back, Zoraida! You were missed!

Gretchen Flashes: Her “Persecuted” Lines

Carlson: “This is called the ‘call sheet’: And, you…have to have x-ray vision to read it.” Oops! Inadvertently or not, Fox & Friends co-host Gretchen Carlson revealed two pages of her dialogue in the upcoming movie Persecuted this morning on her show.* In her first F&F segment entitled “Gretchen’s Movie Debut,” the news diva touted her upcoming anchor role in the “Christian-based thriller.”

Before reading one of her Persecuted lines, Gretchen held up her papers, saying, “This is what they give you: This is called the ‘call sheet,’ and you…have…x-ray vision to read it.” Flipping through two pages for the camera’s eye, she added, “Here’s all the lines that I, this was my scene.”

No x-ray vision needed! Happily, even though the author is assuredly no Superman, he was able to capture the text of the two pages of Gretchen’s “call sheet” for the Carpe Diem reader. Her dialogue with star James Remar (John, the “persecuted” evangelist) is as follows:

2 CONTINUED:

DIANA LUCAS (CONT’D)

…But there are some who claim that your ministry is intolerant — even condescending towards other faiths –some in Washington have said your crusades may even threaten the freedom of others. . .

John a long pause, looking away toward camera, methodically. Tone shift.

JOHN: Diana, if I thought for a second I could look down on anyone else or their beliefs, I wouldn’t be sitting here. Do you have any idea who I was before I became what I am today?

DIANA LUCAS: I. . .

JOHN: I’m not a Republican or a Democrat. I don’t belong to any particular denomination, and I have no better personal history than your viewers.(leaning in) Did you know that I have a criminal record?

DIANA LUCAS: Can’t say that I did although it is public record isn’t it?

JOHN: You see our media has a way of elevating those in the spotlight to some kind of superhuman fantasy of what they’d like to see or become. You know what kinda person I was? Who I really was?

(CONTINUED)

2 CONTINUED: (3)

DIANA LUCAS: (cutting in) –And I quote, “To publicly declare your religious beliefs is a way that permits equal time and respect to other systems of faith?”

With his voice striking the perfect, sober note, like he takes no pleasure whatsoever in making this statement. Tragic. Unfortunate.

JOHN: Freedom is fragile and costly. It must constantly be protected and defended by work and faith. (pause) And, even by blood.

DIANA LUCAS: If it comes down to it, will you fall on your sword over this?

JOHN: What I’m saying is, if you take away a man’s freedom to speak his mind in a country founded on that very principle, then we have no country at all. You see, there’s no sword left to fall on. . .

*Fox & Friends – 08/05/13 (@ 6:33 a.m. ET)

Giddy Gretchen: “Persecuted” Indeed!

Carlson: “I can’t tell you how difficult it was.” Today, Fox & Friends co-host Gretchen Carlson reveled in her new-found status as “movie star” (as her co-host Steve Doocy charitably deemed her).* Revealing her anchor role in the movie Persecuted, a “Christian based-thriller,” during a segment entitled “Gretchen’s Movie Debut,” the ever modest Gretchen declared, “Some people would be intimidated to come on our set and ad lib for three hours and do a bunch of interviews and have to talk about a lot of political stuff and keep it all in your head: But, when you have to memorize scripts, I can’t, I can’t tell you how difficult it was.”**

Subsequently, Gretchen disclosed that she would play the role of anchor Diana Lucas in Persecuted. After reading one of her cine lines thereafter (at Steve’s request), she announced that Persecuted would premiere in New York in January, hopefully, and it would also premier in Los Angeles and Albuquerque.

In the final hour of F&F, Gretchen got a second “Gretchen’s Movie Debut” puff piece.* As it concluded, Steve jested, “Fantastic! Well, another line for your resume: Movie star!” Arching her head cockily, Gretchen concurred, “Yeah!”

*Fox & Friends – 08/05/13 (@ 8:32 a.m. ET). [Vid via J$P.]

**Ibid at @ 6:31 a.m. ET.

[Author’s aside: Carpe Diem readers should not be surprised by Gretchen’s announcement today: the author deduced that she would probably “star” in Persecuted eleven days ago.