Ainsley’s Dream: F&F Finally

A month later: Too banal for breakfast or just right? Fox & Friends co-host Ainsley Earhardt has definitely paid her FNC dues: As Glamour.com chronicles, Ainsley did overnight shifts on weekends; updates on the hour on weekday shows, e.g., Hannity; a short-lived stint as co-anchor of Fox & Friends Weekend; and, most recently, co-anchor of Fox & Friends First. And, finally, Ainsley landed her dream job, co-host of Fox & Friends.

But, now, Ainsley has to show her mettle: She has to prove that she has what it takes to successfully co-host cable news morning champ Fox & Friends. Previously, Ainz failed to do so when she co-anchored F&F Weekend with fellow tyros Clayton Morris and Dave Briggs: As faithful FNC viewers may well remember, former F&FW co-host and FNC utility player Alisyn Camerota had to return to the show to right the F&FW listing ship and to show the boys the ropes. After her subsequent stint as co-host of Fox & Friends First, hopefully, Ainsley has learned what tack to take: If she falters this time, at least,  she has seasoned veterans Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade on whom to fall back.

Even though Ainsley may not be the sharpest knife in the F&F drawer, she does seem to be one of the sweetest seasonings in the cupboard. Lately, the Southern belle has seemed to almost ape [split infinitive intended] her predecessor counterpart Northerner Elisabeth Hasselbeck. A little too saccharine for the author’s taste–not too mention a mite too modest post her brief Fox & Friends Weekend gig: But, she does seem to have the best of intentions to make Ailes proud and her viewers happy.

Sex it up, Ainsley! Don’t let the boys be the main reason that your viewers tune in in the morning. That’s never a good thing!

Wine & Pate: Tucker is Okay!

No bow tie: It’s Friday night–and it’s FNC. On this latest Friday night on Hannity as guest host, Fox & Friends Weekend co-anchor Tucker Carlson reminded this viewer of his old CNN Crossfire days when he represented the right–except he was not sporting his obnoxiously effete, elitist bow tie of olden times. Instead, his F&FW experience has seemed to illuminate the Daily Caller co-founder and editor-in-chief that it is well and good to utilize logic and reason in polemics but, if he is truly  to engage Everyman/Everywoman, he must eschew his natural tendency not to reveal things about himself on air but rather to embrace a more vulnerable approach–and, yes, even to eat food on air.

Tucker has come far on FNC: The F&FW fop sits more comfortably on the curvy couch; he has seamlessly seized the alpha male mantle from co-anchor Clayton Morris; and he seems to connect more easily with the alluring Anna Kooiman. Now, Tucker pontificates with confidence; Clayton opines deferentially; and co-anchor Anna Kooiman coos with confidence.

And, as long-time F&FW fans miss the erstwhile ensembles, they may begin to more fully embrace the “new faces” of FNC’s early weekend morn. Political pundit Tucker “ain’t” too bad, and tech geek Clayton may pass muster: But, sorry, boys, the vivacious vixen Anna is the real draw!

F&F’s Faux Pas: New “Popped Culture”

Elisabeth: “We’re going to take a look at the lighter side of celebrity news and our first story is an update on actor Harrison Ford’s condition.” Yes, Fox & Friends’ co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck so introduced FNC marketing veep Michael Tammero‘s brand new segment “Popped Culture” this morning.* Sorry, Calista!

In response to Elisabeth’s strange segue, Michael intoned, “Three weeks after crashing his plane into a California golf course, Harrison Ford is out of the hospital: The seventy-two-year-old actor reported spotted driving in Los Angeles. Ford not in the clear just yet: The crash left him with serious head wounds as well as a broken ankle and pelvis which he will likely need therapy for.”

Apparently, Ford’s wife Calista Flockhart did not see her hubby’s accident as “the lighter side of celebrity news”: Purportedly, she has forbidden him to fly his own plane again. If the reader views this graphic photo of Ford after his accident (via PerezHilton.com), s/he may agree with the former FOX femme fatale Ally McBeal.

“Popped Culture”: A recovering broken cinematic icon “the lighter side of celebrity news”? Not quite, Elisabeth!

[Author’s aside: Perhaps, F&F‘s copy editor was on spring break in Panama City with Ainsley Earhardt and the rest of Hannity‘s wayward crew (“Spring break 2015 exposed in Panama City Beach” vid): Tammero’s next story on the birth of Carrie Underwood‘s baby had a picture of her newborn subtitled, “Bundle of Joy: Carried (sic) Unerwood (sic) Shares First Pic of Baby.”]

*Fox & Friends – 03/30/15 (@ 6:37 a.m. ET).

Shepard Smith: I’m Gonna Go Away for a Bit

“When I eventually do return, I’ll be returning from the Fox News Deck.” Fox Report host Shepard Smith signed off Thursday from his evening show for good, sounding even more optimistic about his future at Fox News than Alan Colmes did when he left Hannity and Colmes for “greener pastures” five years ago.

Apparently making way for Megyn Kelly‘s imminent move to prime time, Shep bid adieu to his audience and announced the end of his evening show Thursday. In the final segment of Fox Report, Shep remarked, “I’ve been saying good night…for years and anchoring this newscast since 1999. But, for a while really, I’ve been well aware that most of you already know the news or much of it before we even sign on each evening.” Explicating the denouement of his Fox Report further, Shep said, “The world’s changed a lot in the last fourteen years: smartphones, Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram, and all the rest: We get the news in real time across lots of platforms, and frankly, this concept of anchor in the box telling you what happened hasn’t change that much since the 1960’s. It’s time for something new: And, we’re gonna lead the way!”

Announcing a hiatus of unknown duration, Shep added, “So, I’m gonna go away for a bit and get my bum shoulder fixed.” Assuring his FNC fans that his departure would not be permanent, Shep declared, “When I eventually do return, I’ll be returning from the Fox News Deck.” Elaborating, he said, “From there we’ll fuse multiple platforms and bring the global resources of this amazing company including social media and digital content to the screen all at once. And, on its time, not on ours!”

Optimistically, he promised, “I’ll report whenever the news happens no matter what program is scheduled.”  Shaking his head for emphasis, Shep declared, “It’s the most exciting venture of my career. My team and I are pumped. And, I hope you’ll come along for the ride.”

Concluding somewhat sentimentally, Shep remarked, “So, Fox Report‘s going away in the next few weeks. It’s been an honor and a privilege to anchor this newscast. Bigger and better is coming with Shepard Smith reporting from the Fox News Deck.”

Shep on Fox News Deck: But, will Ailes’ promise mean a real chance for Shep to go to bat and get a hit for himself and Fox News? If so, good luck, Shep: Get a hit!

Prime-Time Megyn: “Hannity & Kelly”?

Roger Ailes’ “Minor Change”? In an exclusive Thursday, the Drudge Report reported that Fox News was “set to make its first primetime schedule change in 10 years” and that “superstar newswoman Megyn Kelly [had] landed the 9 PM slot” according to its top sources. When asked about that “rumor” by Fox News’s Neil Cavuto, FNC chief Roger Ailes responded, “Well, generally, I don’t confirm or deny any rumors….However, Megyn has earned a better time period: She’ll be in our prime-time lineup. But, I must quickly say that all of our stars will be back: We have new deals with (Sean) Hannity and Greta (Van Susteren) and Shep(ard Smith).” Noticing Ailes’ obvious omission, Cavuto quizzically commented, “So, it sounds to me like (Bill) O’Reilly‘s gone: Mischievously, Ailes answered, “Yep, he’s finished, that’s it! No, I’m just kidding.”*

According to New York Times columnist Bill Carter, the prevailing speculation is that Megyn will get her own hour and Sean Hannity will move to the 7:00 p.m. slot (replacing Fox Report with Shepard Smith) and Shep will move to an afternoon hour. However, in his Cavuto interview, Ailes himself cryptically remarked, “We have a great roster of talent: I am making a few minor changes….You have to choose well in the first place and have the guts to stay with people who can do the job. And, that’s what I try to do.”** Furthermore, he reportedly explained, “One of my jobs is to get the best audience flow between shows and that’s one of the reason[s] I’m making a few changes right now.”***

And, that very audience of Ailes in both prime-time and full-day ratings “has had a median age of 65-plus (according to the aforementioned NYT author). If the anecdotal observation that older people tend to be resistant to change is true, Ailes would do well to only “[make] a few minor changes” as he seeks to facilitate the “best audience flow” of his hyper-loyal older viewers (and tries  to attract a younger demographic at the same time). Creating three new shows for Megyn, Hannity, and Shep, as the NYT suggested, seems more than a few major changes–especially, when Gretchen Carlson’s new fall show and, an imminent iteration of Fox & Friends (with new co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck) are added into the mix.

“Hannity and Kelly”? Don’t count it out.

*Therightscoop.com (video and text) – 08/08/13.

**Ibid.

***Therightscoop.com (video) – 08/08/3 (@ 02:12/04:13).

[Author’s aside: If Megyn does indeed join Hannity, Ailes real primetime schedule (8-11 p.m.), the hosts will represent true-blue gender equality surpassing rivals CNN and MSNBC.]

Apoplectic Bob Beckel: “Free…P*ssy”

Eric Bolling: “Let’s move on.” Let’s not: If it were free, The Five co-host Bob Beckel might make for a much less colorful “Smoking Gun” Democratic rogue. But, fear not! The bad boy of FNC can not or will not keeps his wild ways under control.

Less than four months ago, Bob went off with an “f” bomb inadvertently on Hannity. In what he deemed an off-air moment, he lambasted a conservative panelist, saying, “You don’t know what the f**k you’re talking about.” When host Sean Hannity apprised him that they were live, Bob appeared to be in a state of disbelief. Finally, coming to his senses, Bob groused that he was going to be fired after the show.

Bob was not. But, today, he pushed the envelope even further. In a segment including President Barack Obama’s purported disdain for his GOP opponent Mitt Romney (“no g**damned war hero”) as noted by Politico‘s Mike Allen, co-host Eric caustically queried, “Bob, should President Obama be taking shots at Mitt Romney’s military service when…the guy never picked up a gun, pulled the trigger of…blew anyone away? Oh, wait a minute, that’s right, he shot bin Laden, right!”*

After initially calling into question Allen’s assertion, Bob remarked, “Does he [President Obama] not like Mitt Romney?…When he started out, he said [that] he was neutral about Mitt Romney. And, frankly, so was I. I thought he was a nice guy.”

Elaborating, Bob remarked, “I’ve come to believe [that] he is a terrible, uh, a terrible–I won’t say liar because I won’t, because I don’t want to diminish myself down where Republicans [are].

Unfortunately, continuing, a suddenly incoherent Bob stammered, “Or, free, pre p*ssy, for proof of pre pro puss. Excuse me! Pre puss.”

Throwing him a lifeline, Eric mercifully interjected, “Let’s move on.” Bemused, co-anchor Andrea Tantaros beamed broadly and shook her head at Bob latest blooper. Meanwhile, co-host Kimberly Guilfoyle laughed heartily as she hid her face in her hands.

Babbling Bob: a sight to behold–for better or for worse.

*The Five – 08/06/12 (@ 5:07 p.m. ET)

Update: Vid (courtesy of J$P).

Bocephus: Boycott F&F (and ESPN)

“That’s exactly what I said!” Unrepentant, rebel country music superstar Hank Williams affirmed his call for a boycott of FNC’s top-rated Fox & Friends in his latest release. In response to ESPN’s apparent axing of his long-standing Monday Night Football promo after a controversial “Fox & Friends” interview, Williams retaliated with “Keep the Change,” a free download to his fans. In his new record, Williams complains that F&F twisted his words: then, he acerbically lilts, “Yeah, you can keep Fox & Friends and ESPN out of your homes, too [because] Bocephus and all of his rowdy friends and his song are out of there. Yes, sir!”

Yesterday, Williams visited The View to make his “apology.” In the course of the virtual lovefest, Barbara Walters did him to task for his call for his call for a boycott of F&F and ESPN. After pointing out that ESPN (like ABC, the home of The View) was owned by Disney, she remarked, “But, you are now telling people that Fox & Friends and ESPN, other people should boycott them.” Rather than offer amends, a somewhat embittered Bocephus responded, “That’s exactly what I said!”

Later in the day, Williams appeared on FNC’s Hannity.* When co-host Sean Hannity mentioned his The View reception, Williams gushed, “Oh, it was fantastic!” Subsequently, when Hannity asked him about his departure from ESPN, he strangely failed to ask him about his call for a boycott of Fox & Friends. Perhaps, it was understandable. All in the FOX family?

As the interview began to conclude, Hannity commented, “You know what, I love football….I’m gonna miss your open.” With a glint in his eye, Williams responded, “Well, stand by for 2012. It’s a free country with lots of options and lots of choices.” Hannity replied, “So, in other words, we may not have heard the last of Hank Williams, Jr., on football?” Grinning, Williams answered, “We’ve been contacted today. The song is mine, Sean!”

Subsequently, smacking his ring forcefully on the desk, Williams continued, “Let’s talk about the poll. They had a poll…’who would you like to have on do the Monday Night [Football] 53% me!” Chuckling, Sean jested, “You don’t look as good as Faith Hill but she does Monday Night Football.” Williams replied, “No, no, no, no! But, that’s another network. But, there are other networks.” Hannity replied, “Yes, there are. Fox is one of them!” Shaking his head emphatically, Williams answered, “Uh, yeah!”

“Ready for some non-ESPN football,” FOX fans? The answer sounded pellucidly clear. Ready for some Fox & Friends? Bocephus ain’t!

Author’s aside: For a related Carpe Diem story, cf. “F&F’s Bizarre Bocephus: Obama Like Hitler?“

Live Desk Canned: Gallagher?

Gone: without a Trace? Not quite. As the end of the program today, co-anchor Trace Gallagher announced, “As you may have heard, this is the last day of the Live Desk….Megyn Kelly’s new show, America Live, will be starting on Monday.” Without his co-host Martha MacCallum (who was already with her new partner, Bill Hemmer, on America’s Newsroom), Trace seemed somewhat lost. Sounding more than a mite melancholy, he added, “And, of course, you can’t get rid of me. I’ll be along for big stories and breaking news. It has been a great time.”

When the author heard Trace’s farewell, he thought of another anchor who appeared to exit his show under similar circumstances, i.e., Alan Colmes. When Alan left the popular Hannity & Colmes apparently to allow Sean Hannity to have his eponymous show Hannity in the same time slot, Alan was bound for unnamed future projects: thereafter, Alan has made guest appearances on various FNC shows and has had a recurring role on the O’Reilly Factor as a debate opponent of his conservative sister-in-law Monica Crowley. If Trace is fortunate, maybe, he will find a similar position, and, possibly, even be paired regularly in some capacity with his recently frequent Live Desk guest co-host, Juliet Huddy.

Regardless, good luck, Trace!

Hannity: ACORN’s “Hot Prostitute”

ACORN officials may have been taken in by twenty-year-old Hannah Jiles but Sean Hannity was rather taken with the beautiful journalism major who posed as a hooker in an ACORN sting (in collaboration with film-maker James O’Keefe). In fact, he seemed to be quite smitten with the young brunette beauty who appeared on his eponymous show.

In Hannity’s first segment, he interviewed Jiles and ran footage of her in vintage demimondaine dress (i.e., a low-cut blouse and hip-hugging micro mini). Introducing her in the following segment, Sean said, “I am rejoined by…Hannah Jiles, who played the hot prostitute.” [Italics added for emphasis.] Apparently, realizing his verbal gaffe and trying to divert attention from it, he quickly jested, “Did I call you a prostitute? I meant preforming artist [ACORN’s categorization]. I apologize for that. Excuse me!”

Jiles smiled, rolled her eyes, and replied, “Yeah.” Eagerly delving into the salacious details, a grinning Hannity queried, “By the way, you get to write off your hooker boots and condoms according to the ACORN official.” Jiles smiled, nodded her head, and facetious replied, “They’re so kind.”

Then returning to his more sober and somber state, Hannity opined, “When I heard that, that shocks the conscience: That shocks the conscience.”

Doth Hannity protest, perhaps, a wee bit too much?