F&F Embarrasses Ailes?

Steve Doocy: “Shepard must be happy!” Almost two years to the day that Studio B anchor Shepard Smith announced that he could not show the Trampoline Bear vid anymore, Fox & Friends resurrected the odious decade-old footage of a black bear falling from a tree onto a trampoline and subsequently doing a hard head-first plunge into an unforgiving ground.* To make matters worse, they ran the seemingly sadistic footage twice.**

Perchance, it was the F&F producer who has an apparent fixation on the “wussification of America” that made the callous call. Regardless, it must embarrass FNC chief Roger Ailes who seems to have tried to embrace a more animal-friendly approach with glowing coverage of his now deceased friend‘s favored Westminister Dog Show at Madison Square Garden and his underlings’ F&F fun, informative F&F segments with famed wildlife advocate Jack Hanna–not to mention, their whilom “Good Shepard‘s” “Cool Critters” stories.

It’s time for Shine to have Ailes’ back re animal rights. And, it’s time for his rogue producers to end the Trampoline Bear airings. It’s been over ten years since it was news: Now, it should be history!

*Fox & Friends – 05/01/14 (@ 6:00 a.m. ET).

**Fox & Friends – 05/01/14 (@ 8:00 a.m. ET).

[Author’s aside: Re Steve Doocy‘s Shep quote, supra, he said that at the beginning of F&F‘s May Day show when co-host Brian Kilmeade joked that Russia had said that that “bear on the trampoline is now [America’s] ticket to space.”]

Megyn: AE’s Secret, Shep’s Gaffe & Cine Cameo?

Memorable musings: Ainsley Earhardt hawks bikini babe; Shepard Smith shuns Fox News viewing; and Megyn Kelly cameos in Assange movie! Things the author should have probably said–yesterday.

On August 11, Fox & Friends Weekend guest co-host Ainsley divulged perhaps the “secret formula” for the storied success of FNC. After two too cute segments, F&FW meteorologist Rick Reichmuth remarked, “I think [that] we need to make a split screen of that baby and the panda bears: Yeah, and then just watch that all day long.” Concurring, anchor Tucker Carlson concurred, “That’s ratings gold.” Smiling racily, Ainsley added, “Put a girl in a bikini in the third slot, and there you go: Babies, pets, and girls!…This is what we learned in journalism school.”*

Five days later, as a Studio B segment concluded, host Shep unapologetically revealed, “I’m not much of a TV guy….There’s the Yankees, the Rebels, and the True Blood: That’s it! Nothing else!” Perhaps, after a word in his ear from producers, Shep hastily added, “Ah, and Megyn! I watch Megyn: She’s on vacation so I don’t have to watch her right now.”**

Yesterday, during his Fox & Friends review of the Toronto International Film Festival flicks, NerdTears.com film critic Kevin McCarthy disclosed that “Megyn Kelly makes an appearance” in The Fifth Estate, an Assange cine, which opens to the public on October 18. Elaborating, he said, “They have some news footage of her talking about the Wikileaks story….She’s in the movie a little bit from Fox News.”***

Trio’s musings import? Megyn Maxim, er, GQ goddess!

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 08/11/13 (@ 8:39 p.m. ET)

**Studio B with Shepard Smith – 08/16/13 (@ 3:55 p.m. ET)

***Fox & Friends – 09/06/13 (@ 8:25 a.m. ET)

Mommy Megyn: Baby Thatcher ‘Totally Awesome’

Kelly’s blue-eyed baby boy arrives! Today, America Live anchor Megyn Kelly‘s stand-in Shannon Bream joyfully announced the birth of the third child of Megyn and her hubby Doug Brunt as the show concluded.* When the final America Live segment opened with a photo of Megyn and Doug’s sleeping, swaddled newborn, Shannon proclaimed, “Here is the picture! Say hello to Thatcher Bray Brunt….[He] was born at…eight pounds two ounces. He has brown hair [and] blue eyes. He is gorgeous!” And, if there were any doubt, Shannon added, “Mom said the best description of him–and this is the quote–‘Totally awesome!'”

As Shannon segued to Studio B host Shepard Smith, Shep exclaimed, “And, everyone in Studio B: this is the best news of the day! How is she?” In answer, Shannon declared, “[Megyn] is doing great. We’re told she is doing fabulous. Everyone is well.”

The “Iron Baby” joins his three-year-old big brother Edward Yates and their two-year-old sis Yardley Evans in the burgeoning Kelly/ Brunt brood.

Congratulations, Megyn and Doug!

* Vid via J$P.

FNC’s New Future: Megyn In for Greta?

Van Susteren: “I’ve been been bucking to get an earlier hour for years….”* Apparently, her boss Roger Ailes was listening: Only five days after FNC On the Record anchor Greta van Susteren uttered those very words to her old friend Larry King on his 06/27/13 eponymous online show, Fox News issued a release which read, “[America Live anchor] Megyn Kelly will move to Fox News Channel’s (FNC) primetime lineup upon her return, announced Roger Ailes, Chairman and CEO, FOX News.” However, FNC took pains to highlight the fact that Greta had been signed to a long-term contract (as well as FNC’s other prime time hosts Bret Baier, Shepard Smith, Bill O’Reilly, and Sean Hannity).

In King’s interview of Greta, the former CNN anchor discussed the possible personnel changes of new CNN honcho Jeff Zucker: In so doing, she referenced FNC and her long-time chief, saying, “Look at Fox News….Roger Ailes has been there the whole time I’ve been there. We haven’t had a change in eleven and half years.” Nonchalantly or not, she continued, “I’ve been bucking to get an earlier hour for years but that ain’t happening….If anyone ever left, I would put in a pitch.”

Now that Ailes has decided to change his storied FNC schedule, it seems that Greta will get her wish of an earlier hour. But, whom will she replace or with whom will she pair? If Greta replaces anyone, it will probably be Fox Report host Shepard Smith who could continue to work in his “long-term contract” as anchor of Studio B. But, if Greta were to co-host instead, a likely pairing would be with fellow conservative Sean Hannity who sorely needs fresh blood to reinvigorate his recently ratings-challenged show.

And, if Greta does vacate her 10 p.m. ET throne, it seems that Fox’s long-suffering “rising star” has finally achieved her rightful place in the FNC ether. In December of 2008, Carpe Diem warned Greta to watch out for Megyn. Six months later, the New York Times eyed Megyn as a “potential heir to Ms. Van Susteren.”

Now, Megyn’s time has come: Prime time!

*Larry King Now – 06/27/13 (@ 11:29/28:19

Shepard Smith: “He Doesn’t Really Eat Puppies”

“[T]he one way to make viewers hate you is to say anything bad about an animal.” Studio B anchor Shepard Smith seems to have heightened his animal rights sensitivities somewhat since the bad old days of his “Trampoline Bear.”

Friday, Shepard aired a segment entitled “Lab-Grown Hamburger Patty: Animal Rights Activists Support New Meat.”* During his interview of Dr. Nina Radcliff, he turned to his second banana Jonathan Hunt for his input on this bizarre petri dish meat. Replying with his trademark British macabre wit, Hunt quipped, “All I say is ‘If we’re running out of cows to eat, then let’s just start grilling small puppies.”

Subsequently, as the segment ended, Shep bemusedly looked to Hunt again, querying, “Smeat?” When Hunt unequivocally exclaimed, “No!,” Shep mischievously remarked, “Puppies but not….” Taking the bait injudiciously, a grinning Hunt replied, “Small pups, small puppies anytime: never ‘smeat’!”

Perhaps, explaining the apt end of his infamous Trampoline Bear video airings, Shep responded, “You do know that the one way to make viewers hate you is to say anything bad about an animal.”

When Hunt riposted, “I think they’ve hated me for a very long time,” Shep jested, “This is true! Thank you, Jonathan. The stage manager says, ‘Yes!'”

In an aside to his audience, Shep added, “He doesn’t really eat puppies.”

And, thankfully, Shep doesn’t really exploit Trampoline Bear–any more.

*Studio B – 06/14/13 (@ 3:51 p.m. ET)

Aly: “Steve & Brian Here with Me”

Gretchen: Hey, everyone! I’m…in for Shep today. Aly at Fox & Friends’ helm soon? Today, FNC anchor Alisyn Camerota was in charge of the F&F “A Team” as F&F Weekend covered the Connecticut school carnage. After a special weekend edition of F&F First, Aly welcomed her audience and the F&F “big boys,” saying, “Good morning, everyone! We appreciate you joining us on this very sad morning. It’s great to have Steve [Doocy] and Brian [Kilmeade] here with me.”

Remarkably, Aly did not note the absence of either of her regular F&FW co-hosts Clayton Morris or Dave Briggs. Furthermore, in this Fox & Friends “special edition,” Aly did not mention her purported “A Team” counterpart Gretchen Carlson, who was conspicuously missing this morning. Has the changing of the F&F “A Team” guard already begun?

Only two days ago, seldom solo host Gretchen notably filled in for Shepard Smith on Studio B, an FNC afternoon show (saying, “Hello, everyone! I’m…in for Shep today”):* Perhaps, her contract negotiations have begun to bear more fruit. According to New York Magazine, Gretchen was “said to want to host her own show on the network but Fox executives [were] resistant to the idea”: furthermore, it reported that a source had said that she had reached a “short-term accord that would keep her on the curvy couch with Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade until the election” but added that “after November, it’s unclear.”

Perhaps, tellingly, Gretchen has seemed to be particularly strident in her polemics lately–as if she might be auditioning for “her own show.” And, her co-hosts Steve and Brian appear reluctantly to be biting their tongue all the more. Perchance, they think that she is starting to spread her wings in anticipation of a flight on her own soon to a later hour on FNC.

Post-election F&F: Gretch a goner? If so, is Aly their new “It girl”? Stay tuned.

*Studio B with Shepard Smith – 12/13/12 (@ 3:00 a.m. ET)

Kyra’s “Cannuck Hubby”: Robert’s Ring Ruse?”

Special Reports with JD: Ring on, ring off! Yesterday, FNC Special Report with Bret Baier guest anchor John Roberts decided to doff his seemingly connubial band for, at least, the third time this week.* Only about six months ago, Roberts was proudly donning his seemingly marital ring as he hosted Special Report (soon after his long-time flame HLN anchor Kyra Phillips had claimed to have a Cannuck husband): As a result the author assumed that Roberts had finally tied the knot with Phillips after proposing to her over two years earlier on bended knee.

But, maybe, not. According to HuffPo (in 2011), Roberts revealed that he did not “call Phillips is fiancee and they[had] no plans to get married soon” in “spite of the couple’s ‘engagement.'” In that same interview, Roberts remarked, “There’s no plan for a wedding. I call her my wife, she refers to me as her husband.” Holding out hope for the future, Roberts added, “Do I expect that at some point we’ll get married? Yes, it’s just that we’ve both been so busy working and preparing for our babies that we haven’t found time.”

Perhaps, the two lovers still haven’t found the time–after all. Stay tuned, John and Kyra fans.

*Special Report with Bret Baier – 12/07/12 (@ 6:34 a.m. ET); Happening Now – 12/04/12 (@ 9:37 a.m. ET); and Studio B with Shepard Smith – 12/03/12 (@ 3:41 p.m. ET).

Shep: “Forget the National Day of Intolerance!”

Today Studio B anchor Shepard Smith threw a rather sharp elbow at fellow FNC anchor Mike Huckabee today. During his 3 p.m. ET show, Shep dubbed today the “National Day of Intolerance.” Not lost on his round-table Fox News co-workers nor his viewers was the fact that today is the day that the eponymous host of Huckabee called for a “Chick fil-A Appreciation Day.”

Eight days ago (July 31), Mike Huckabee declared that he was “incensed at the vitriolic assaults on the Chick fil-A company” because of the CEO’s recent remarks that the “Biblical view of marriage should be upheld. Consequently, he exhorted his fans to counter the “vicious hate speech and intolerant bigotry from the left” by celebrating August 1 as “Chick fil-A Appreciation Day” by patronizing the restaurant or signalling support via Twitter or Facebook.

Apparently, Shep was not quite on board with the whilom Arkansas governor’s request. After a story on the eight expelled badminton Olympians (with FoxSports.com national senior writer Peter Schrager), Shep acerbically added, “It’s National Badminton Day”: forget the “National Day of Intolerance.” Meanwhile, Schrager and FNC chief correspondent Jonathan Hunt, both sitting with Shep, simply could not contain their snickers.

Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day or National Day of Intolerance? They report. You decide.

[Author’s aside – Chick-Fil-A is written “Chick Fil-A,” supra, when Huckabee is quoted for textual accuracy: An insertion of sic, supra, was forgone to facilitate the natural flow of the story.]

Studio B with Shepard Smith – 08/01/12 (@ 3:24 p.m. ET)

Update: Vid via Mediaite.

Shep: Can’t Show Trampoline Bear Vid Anymore

Carpe Diem: Fox News FINALLY does the right thing. Today, FNC anchor Shepard Smith announced that he could no longer run the 2003 Trampoline Bear video on Studio B. After almost two years of Carpe Diem decrying that loathsome footage of a black bear falling from a tree onto a trampoline, being propelled high into the air, falling face first into unforgiving ground, and crumpling underneath its own weight, Fox News appears to have got the message at last–perhaps, after the author’s article, “Roman’s ‘No Ring Circus”, (just four days ago) on Shep’s seemingly sadistic snippet being embraced anew by Early Point guest anchor Christine Romans.

Today, after airing one of his famous bear updates (about an Altadema, California, momma bear and her two cubs in a tree), Shep remarked, “Aw, look at ’em. You know what they need! They need those bears a trampoline.”* When someone seemed to chuckle softly off-camera, Shep added, “Get ’em right out of there and put them on a trampoline. They have a nice little ride.” As long-time viewers, doubtlessly, awaited the Trampoline Bear video to run as usual, Shep sadly intoned, “Can’t show that anymore, though! Apologies.”

No apology need, Shep–at least, for not being able to show the odious Trampoline Bear video anymore. Rather, you should apologize for airing that horrid clip–repeatedly over the years.

Kudos, Fox News, for making Shep shape up. Finally.

*Studio B with Shepard Smith – 05/03/12 (@ 3:49 a.m. ET)

Related Carpe Diem stories (Trampoline Bear chronicles): “Shep’s Trampoline Bear: PETA MIA” (06/07/10); “Banderas’ ‘Teachable Moment’?” (07/25/10); “Banderas Responds: Bars Bear Vid” (07/27/10); “Banderas Recants Apology” (07/27/10); “Shep de Sade?” (07/28/10); “Banderas: ‘Not My Fault'” (08/03/10); “Shep de Sade’s Bad Boys” (08/06/10); “Shep de Sade: Kubrick’s Clare Quilty?” (08/12/10); “Shep Defends Trampoline Bear Video” (08/13/10); “The Good Shepard?” (08/20/12); “The Good Shepard Hydes” (08/26/10); “Shep’s Trampoline Bear: Old Miss Mascot?” (10/15/10); “As a Dog Returns to its Vomit” (10/16/10); “Hope Springs Eternal” (10/29/10); “Ole Miss’ Colonel Shep” (11/07/10); “Shep the Schlep” (02/21/11); “AM Adopts F&F’s Couch (But, Shep’s Commode?)” (05/17/11); and “Romans’ ‘No Ring’ Circus” (04/29/12).

Megyn Kelly Disappears

With her show without a word. Apparently, even America Live anchor Megyn Kelly’s lead-in, Happening Now guest host Greg Jarrett, was caught off guard this afternoon: as Jarrett confidently segued from HN to the next Fox News program at 1:00 pm. ET, Jarrett remarked, “America Live begins right now.” Apparently, getting a quick word from his producer, Jarrett quickly glanced at his computer screen and corrected himself, saying, “America’s News Headquarters.”

Subsequently, the screen switched to ANHQ and Kelly Wright began with a “News Alert”: Then, after finishing it, he remarked, “This is America’s News Headquarters. I’m Kelly Wright.” Thereafter, his comely blonde co-host chimed, “Great to see you, Kelly….I’m Jamie Colby.”

Oddly, neither Kelly nor Jamie mentioned that, at least, for the day, they were replacing Megyn Kelly and America’s News HQ was supplanting America Live. Furthermore, to the author’s knowledge, Megyn did not mention yesterday that she or her program would be absent today (Friday). Moreover, Megyn failed to alert her Twitter followers to any AL changes either. Not to mention, when the author consulted FNC’s on-air schedule at FNC’s foxnews.com/fnctv web site (at 1:55 p.m. ET), the “Now” tab showed no program for the 1:00pm slot but rather started with the 3:00 pm one (Studio B w/ Shepard Smith).

Strange indeed. Wherefore art thou, Megyn? Fox News flub-up or Shine “shakeup”?

[Author’s aside: Even at the start of the second hour and at the end of show, both Jamie and Kelly failed to acknowledge the obvious–the absence of Megyn Kelly and her show America Live.]

Update: On Labor Day itself, Megyn answered: She and America Live reappeared. Perhaps, it had been merely a Fox News flub-up. Or, was it Shine’s inadvertent portent?

Shep: JD, “Don’t You Miss the Anchor Chair?”

Canned CNN American Morning co-anchor John Roberts got a rude reminder of his new status from Fox News’ Shepard Smith yesterday on Studio B. Doing his duty as FNC senior national correspondent, Roberts updated Studio B viewers on the Gulf Coast post-BP spill recovery in his buttery baritone “voice of God.”  Approvingly, Shep replied, “John Roberts, it’s great to see you, man”: Regrettably, he did not stop there.*

Segueing to the next story, Shep read, “Charlie Sheen.” Suddenly stopping, Shep looked over at Roberts (off-camera) with a mischievous glint in his eyes. Grinning mischievously, Shep queried, “Don’t you miss the anchor chair with Charlie Sheen around?” Comfortably or not, Roberts chuckled but said nothing. Unfortunately.

Shep had asked the very question that many Roberts fans want to know. To wit, does the erstwhile silver-maned alpha anchor of CNN miss his old show and wish that he had a new one? Or, is he happy in his new role for now as a brown-haired FNC beta boy simply delivering the news at whatever hour that his bosses dictate?

If not, maybe the old CNN dog needs to learn a few new FNC tricks.

Studio B with Shepard Smith – 03/02/11 (@ 3:42 p.m. ET)

Roberts: No Silver Fox

What was “the wife” Kyra Phillips thinking? Former American Morning co-anchor John Roberts made his virgin appearance on Fox News yesterday on Studio B with Shepard Smith with a drab brown suit and a recently colored coif to match. Unfortunately, CNN’s celebrated silver-maned alpha male looked more like an FNC brown-haired beta boy.

When Roberts made his surreal appearances on Studio B with Shepard Smith, Special Report with Bret Baier, and Fox Report with Shepard Smith, he seemed to sense his fans may not be completely on board with his transition to Fox News. As hosts Shepard and Brett heartily welcomed him aboard, Roberts barely mustered much beyond a mere “thank you” to his new colleagues.

As usual, Roberts’ report (on Congressional safety) was well done but the presentation was certainly not in his usual confident, amiable manner. Like his recent American Morning colleague Kiran Chetry, he may still consider CNN the “gold standard” but he needs to buck up. And, John, even if you are FNC’s senior national correspondent, you can loosen up, too: you’re not on CNN anymore.

Ole Miss’ Colonel Shep

Trampoline Bear Abuse or Cool Critter Celebration? As Shepard Smith‘s beloved Ole Miss progresses forward with its mascot pick of the Rebel Black Bear to replace Colonel Reb, the Studio B and Fox Report anchor continues to be conflicted about moving forward from his signature segment “Bear Alert” to a more animal-friendly “Cool Critters.” As a case in point, last Thursday, Shep reported the very same story (about a newborn Atlanta panda cub) under the respective rubrics differently on his two daily FNC programs: To wit, on Studio B, Shep narrated the tale as the “Bear Alert,” accompanying it as usual with the cruel Trampoline Bear video (showing a tranquilized bear falling from a tree onto a trampoline, being hurled high into the air, and then crashing headfirst into the unyielding ground) whereas on the Fox Report, Shep retold it as a “Cool Critters” story without the repugnant Trampoline Bear clip.

Unfortunately, Shep’s recent setback occurred just a mere week to the day that he showed significant promise on Studio B during his “Bear Report.” On that show, he aired the Trampoline Bear clip but he elided the offensive frames of the black bear crashing into the concrete-like earth albeit jesting about “bear trampoline safety.” Optimistic that Shep may have turned a proverbial corner, the author penned, Carpe Diem‘s “Hope Springs Eternal” that he would not “return to his vomit.”

Unfortunately, Shep did just that as he returned to his folly Thursday on Studio B‘s “Bear Alert.” But, did he repent a mere three hours later on Fox Report‘s “Cool Critters”? Hope may spring eternal, but its flame is dimmed with each passing day.

Colonel Shep, walk into the light!

Update: Eight days later (last Friday), Fox Report producers took a different tack. Instead of choosing between the rubric “Bear Alert” or “Cool Critters,” they did both basically. As guest host Jon Scott previewed the FR‘s final segment entitled “Bear Buddies” (about an older female polar bear at Highland Wildlife Park in Kingussie, Scotland, being introduced to a twenty-three-month-old male as a companion), Jon commented, “Now, Bear Alert and Cute [sic?] Critter Alert, Britain’s only polar bear getting a new friend but don’t expect cubbies anytime soon.” The odious Trampoline Bear video did not run after this conflated alert. More progress?

*Fox Report with Shepard Smith – 11/12/10 (@ 7:54 a.m. ET)

Hope Springs Eternal

Trampoline Bear suspended in mid-air. Perhaps, Studio B (and Fox Report) anchor Shepard Smith was toying with the author and the black bear yesterday as Charles Shulz’ Peanuts character Lucy continuously did with Charlie Brown and the football. However, hopefully, he is simply beginning to realize that repeatedly and gleefully showing an animal (albeit anesthetized) being pummeled into the ground by its own weight is rather cruel.

As Studio B drew to a close, Shep did a “Bear Alert” about the proliferation of black bears at Yellowstone National Park. Then he aired a photo of Fox Report chief correspondent Jonathan Hunt and a field producer Lisa Kaplan posing with a black bear statue at the Black Bear Diner in Reno, Nevada. Segueing to his Trampoline Bear video, Shep stated, “Jonathan Hunt on the road compiling stories…[about]…issues that matter to ordinary Americans which includes bears obviously.”*

Then, as the vid began of the Trampoline Bear falling from the tree and being propelled high into the air, Shep continued, “Word is they were discussing.” When the producer stopped the video with the bear mid-air (and showing the last frame for approximately five full seconds), Shep chuckled, “Bear trampoline safety!” Laughing with him, tellingly, was, apparently, the producer and a floor crew member.

Bear trampoline safety: a worthy Shepard “Bear Alert.”

Studio B – 10/28/10 (@3:56 p.m. ET)

Shep’s Trampoline Bear: Ole Miss Mascot?

“The Bear Alert to end all Bear Alerts.” Hoddy Toddy! Yesterday Ole Miss alum Shepard Smith gleefully celebrated the fall of his beloved Ole Miss’ new mascot yesterday on his show Studio B. Before doing so in his final segment, Shep announced,  “Now the mother of all ‘Bear Alerts.’ Get used to the bear. It’s the granddaddy of all ‘Bear Alerts.'”* He added, “The ‘Bear Alert’ to end all ‘Bear Alerts.” [Hopefully, it was.]

Proudly, Shep reported, “You see, a certain university in a certain Southern state has now chosen a new mascot [with] 62% of the vote. And, with that we present the Ole Miss Rebel Black Bear.” Subsequently, he showed depictions of the new mascot in a basketball uniform, football jersey, and frat-boy coat and tie. As he devilishly intoned, “As we all know, our bear will be most comfortable,” the Trampoline Bear video began to run. Perhaps, in poetic justice, just before the black bear plunged head-first into the ground and crumpled under its own weight, Shep began, “That’s the Rebel Bear bouncing on the trampoline: then he exclaimed, “Hotty Toddy! Beat Alabama!”

If that is indeed the Rebel Bear, Bama head coach Nick Saban may want to borrow Shep’s Trampoline Bear video. It might do wonders to fire up his players and the fans before the big game Saturday. In fact, all of Ole Miss’ future opponents make want to take note. Bear alert!

*Studio B with Shepard Smith – 10/14/10 (@3:58 p.m.)

Related stories (in chronological order) are as follow:
Shep’s Trampoline Bear: PETA MIA” (June 7, 2010);”
Banderas’ “Teachable Moment’?” (July 25, 2010); ”
Banderas Responds: Bars Bear Vid” (June 27, 2010);
“Banderas Recants Apology” (June 27, 2010);
“Shep de Sade” (July 28, 2010);
“Banderas: ‘Not My Fault’” (August 3, 2010);
“Shep de Sade’s Bad Boys” (August 7, 2010);
“Shep de Sade: Kubrick’s Clare Quilty” (August 12, 2010);
“Shep Defends Trampoline Bear Video” (August 13, 2010);
“The Good Shepard?” (August 20, 2010; and
“The Good Shepard Hydes” (August 26, 2010).

The Good Shepard Hydes

FNC’s genteel Dr. Jeckyll, the good Shepard Smith, transmogrified into the hideous Mr. Hyde on Studio B but later returned to his saner self on the Fox Report. On Studio B, Shep reveled anew in the cruel Trampoline Bear video as he inserted it twice into his “Bear Alert” on an unrelated Lake Tahoe bear burglar report. However, later, when he ran the same story again on Fox Report, Shep found the decency to cut the offending frames (of the black bear crumpling under its own weight as it plunged headfirst into the hard ground) from the clip.** Just who the hell is Fox News’ Dr. Jeckyll/Mr. Hyde? Flim Flam, Bim Bam, Ole Miss, by Damn!

*Studio B – 08/25/10 (@3:55 p.m. ET)

**Fox Report – 08/25/10 (@7:28 p.m. ET)

Shep Defends Trampoline Bear Video

“You know that, that bear there didn’t get hurt.” Today, on Fox Report, Shepard Smith finally seemed to get it, i.e., that his Trampoline Bear video can be seen as animal cruelty. After earlier playing the exploitative clip on his Studio B,* receiving flak from the author for doing so, and seemingly suspending his Twitter account, Shep ran the Trampoline Bear footage during the Fox Report** but with the aforementioned explanatory coda.**

During Studio B, Shep Tweeted the upcoming “Bear Alert” to his followers shortly before showing it to his audience. Then, when he aired the footage of a young black bear who had had his head removed from a jar, he gleefully ran the Trampoline Bear clip (of the black bear falling from a tree, being propelled high into the ground, and crashing head-first into the ground) as usual. After the exploitative video had run, the author Tweeted, “Shep de Sade, er, Sad strikes again with his “Studio B Trampoline” bear vid.”

Shortly thereafter (and before Shep’s Fox Report aired) Shep’s Twitter page (including his Tweet, supra), strangely disappeared (“suspended”). Nevertheless, when the Fox Report ran, Shep still replayed the “Bear Alert” with the offensive Trampoline Bear footage appended thereto. However, in a later segment at the very end of the show, Shep defended his use of the clip. To wit, after a story about Disney film Bambi, Shep deadpanned, “I wonder how Bambi would like the trampoline”: then, he added, “You know that, that bear there didn’t get hurt.”***

Shep, please quit airing this exploitative video of Trampoline Bear. As your good friend and weekend counterpart, Julie Banderas, has acknowledged, it contains an element of animal cruelty and should be barred from her weekend Fox Report. Shep, just can it for good from your weekday Fox Report and your Studio B. At the very least, cut the repulsive frames of Trampoline Bear crashing face-first into the hard ground.

And, come back to Twitter!

*Studio B with Shepard Smith – 08/12/10 (@3:59 p.m. ET)
**Fox Report with Shepard Smith – 08/12/10 (@7:54 p.m. ET)
***Fox Report with Shepard Smith – 08/12/10 (@7:59 p.m. ET)

Shep de Sade: Kubrick’s Clare Quilty?

The Marquis is back! However, Studio B‘s Shepard Smith de Sade reappeared as the spent, jaded Clare Quilty as he reran his evil tired tripe, i.e., the Trampoline Bear video today. He seemed almost desperate to find anew that thrill that now eluded him and that Viagra could not even bring back. With a stone face and a monotone delivery, he announced, “Bear Alert.”*

Before polluting Fox News’ airwaves again with his favorite animal cruelty cine, he showed an adorable black bear cub chowing down on garbage in a Georgia driveway. After doing so, he cautioned, “While cute, the local sheriff is warning residents ‘do not leave food out for the bears.'” Then, as he aired once again the Trampoline Bear clip (of a black bear falling from a tree onto a trampoline, being propelled high into the air, and then crashing headfirst into the ground), Shep cackled, “And, of course, trampolines are always–ha, ha, ha, ha, ha–trampolines are always a great deterrent.”

Poor Shepard Smith was more of a sad spectacle today than even his Trampoline Bear.

Update: Perhaps, Shep changed his prescription to Cialis or Levitra after Studio B. For his Fox Report, he tried again to find his thrill and prematurely injected his “Bear Alert” at mid-show.** However, this time he seemed to, at least, fake a bit more enthusiasm as the video climaxed, as almost verbatim he repeated, “And, of course, trampolines are always an excellent deterrent.”

*Studio B with Shepard Smith – 08/12/10 (@3:59 p.m. ET)

**Fox Report with Shepard Smith – 08/12/10 (@7:29 p.m. ET)

Shep de Sade’s Bad Boys

When the Marquis is away, the servant boys will play. And so they did yesterday. With their master away Friday, stand-ins Trace Gallagher (Studio B) and Jon Scott (Fox Report) looked like naughty school boys who had just discovered a stag film hidden in their dad’s sock drawer.

On Studio B, guest anchor Trace practically giggled with glee after he got his peek at the Trampoline Bear. After airing a “Bear Alert” about a pizza-pilfering black bear in Montana, he exclaimed, “Montana’s own bare-foot bandit is still on the loose: And, someone set a trap with pizza and a trampoline.”*  As he did, of course, the predictable Trampoline Bear clip ran (with a tranquilized black bear falling from a tree, bouncing high into the air, and crashing face first into the ground). Post-climatically, Trace beamed, “I’ve always wanted to see the video again. I love it!”

Almost four hours later, on Fox Report, a generally gentle John Scott got his guilty pleasure after he echoed Trace’s “Bear Alert.” As the pizza-pilfering bear segment concluded, Scott aired the Trampoline Bear footage. Smiling, Scott joked, “The bear is still on the run. Next time, try setting a trap with a pizza and a trampoline. Bears love trampolines, don’t you know?”**

Do they now, Jon? What a truly bad boy you are. Your master Shep will be proud but your mistress Julie surely will not.

*Studio B – 08/06/10 (3:59 p.m.)

**Fox Report – 08/06/10 (7:46 p.m.)

Banderas Responds: Bars Bear Vid

Fox Report weekend anchor Julie Banderas responded Monday evening to a critical Carpe Diem article calling for her “teachable moment” as to animal rights by banning the controversial Trampoline Bear video. In the CD column, the author had noted that Julie had “joined her weekday counterpart Shepard Smith…in finding great delight in the pain of the Trampoline Bear.” Further, the author bemoaned her laughter and remarks last Sunday during yet another odious airing by Fox Report of the approximately seven-year-old video of the black bear (falling from a tree, being propelled high into the air, and then crashing forcefully face first into the hard ground).

Citing the Carpe Diem post, Julie asserted, “I’d like to go on the record by saying all who know me are aware of my passion for animal rights. I would never condone animal cruelty and have informed my producers not to air the bear on a trampoline video on my show ever again. http://bit.ly/bVNExX”

Kudos, Julie! Now, it is time for your weekday counterpart Shepard Smith to follow your exemplary stand in pledging not to show this exploitative Trampoline Bear video ever again on his weekday Fox Report (or his Studio B).

Will you, Shep?

Update: Julie has scrubbed her Twitter page of her Trampoline Bear Tweets and reTweets, including her animal rights stand and her decision to not ever air the Trampoline Bear vid again.

Update2: In his first “Bear Alerts”  (07/27/10) on both Studio B and Fox Report since Julie’s Tweets, supra, and her deletions thereof, Shepard Smith did not include the offensive Trampoline Bear footage.