Kilmeade’s “Man” Fail

May 26, 2015

Brian: “I kinda of failed at the manhood thing….I’m a man in training.” Indeed! Where was Steve Doocy? In an incredible display of ineptness at basic “masculinity” this morning, Fox & Friends co-host Brian Kilmeade showed his lack of the basic knowledge of how to change a tire. Hilarious!

In a segment with Derrick Van Orden, the author of Book of Man: A Former Navy Seal’s Guide to the Lost Art of Manhood, Brian and guest co-anchor Scott Brown were given the simple task of changing a tire to prove that they were real men ostensibly for co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck. As Scott began to jack up the car, Brian enthusiastically began to take off the lug nuts as if he were in a pit crew for an Indy race. Instead of loosening the lug nuts before Scott raised the car enough to take the tire off, Brian pulled all of them off except one before Scott had jacked the auto up and stabilized it. Suddenly, the car lurched forward and the jack began to fall: As Brian inexplicably tried to remove the tire, which would have resulted in the car hitting the ground unceremoniously and, possibly injuring him and others, the Navy SEAL aptly intervened, saying, “Stop what you’re doing; let it down; the jack has fallen.”

Ever waggish, Brian intoned, “This is why I have a triple “A” (AAA) card!”

Thankfully!

[Author’s aside: Even though the author thinks that characterizing changing a tire as masculine is intrinsically sexist–the author’s sisters may well prefer that their guys do it but they certainly could do it if they so desired–Brian and Scott failed at the “man” test. Obviously, Brian and Scott should have put the car in gear or in park and put the emergency brake on first. Then, Scott should have jacked up the car a bit with the wheel still soundly in touch with the ground; Brian should have loosened the lug nuts; Scott should have jacked the auto up until the tire cleared the ground; Brian should have removed the tire; and then they could have replaced the tire.]

[Author’s aside #2: Fox & Friends posted a vid of Brian and Scott being “men” by tying a tie and tying a knot but they have not posted the one of the epic “man” fail by the guys.]

Camerota Gets Naked– Yet Again!

May 25, 2015

Aly Cat: Rowrr! Today, sexy New Day anchor Alisyn Camerota provided her male admirers with a view that they will relish. A Playboy spread? Not quite. But, she did show some skin–the sight of her naked ring finger this morning.

Lest Aly’s amorous acolytes get too excited, she has gone bare before. After an unexplained two-month absence from her then show Fox & Friends Weekend, she similarly doffed her connubial bling when she appeared as a Fox & Friends Friday guest co-host: Of course, Loverboy was performing “Everybody’s Working for the Weekend” that Friday for F&F’s 2011 “All-American Summer” concert series that day and the bohemian hottie was ready to party (vid). A few years later, (01/04/14), Aly was at it again as she flashed her tanned nude marital ring finger to her acolytes when she guest co-anchored America’s News HQ.

Now, Aly has changed networks from the irreverent cable news ratings champ network Fox News to the more staid 24/7 cable news pioneer. Now, her hemline often drops too low and her neckline rises too high. But, she is still giving her fans the finger–not the mean one.

“Naked Aly”: It has a certain seductive ring to it. For her fervent votaries, it resounded all the more today. Rowrr: Aly Cat is back–at least, for today!

 [Author’s aside: Re Aly Cat, “ages ago,” when Aly guest co-hosted a segment with Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade on F&F about with what animal the co-anchors identified most, Aly purred, “Cat.” (For curious F&F fans, Steve answered, “Unicorn,” and Brian declared, “Lion.”)]

Media Buzz: Haughty Howie

May 17, 2015

Kurtz: “You might even get a response from me.” What a Sunday “beast”: Howie, you’re on Fox News now! Media Buzz host Howard Kurtz sounded today like he is still with the media effete elite.

Closing his show today, Howie promoted his social media site and e-mail address, saying, “That’s it for this edition of Media Buzz: I’m Howard Kurtz. We hope you’ll ‘like’ our Facebook page….Send us an e-mail with a media question, not a political speech: FoxMediaBuzz@foxnews.com, Fox MediaBuzz@foxnews.com.” Raising his eyebrows high with a smile at his lowly FNC audience, he added, “You might even get a response from me.”

From Fox & Friends to “Howie & Haughty”: What a segue! If Howard is lucky, he “might even get a response from me.” I guess he just did!

Howie, you’re on Fox News now: Don’t insult your viewer!

Update: Howie humbler a week later: More respectful of his FNC audience Sunday, Kurtz closed his show, saying, “That’s it for this edition of Media Buzz: I’m Howard Kurtz….Remember that you can always check out our Facebook page….Email us at MediaBuzz@foxnews.com. Questions about the media I will respond online: maybe, even here.” [Italics added for emphasis.]

Kelly Zings Kilmeade

May 14, 2015

Kelly: Well that changes everything…It’s all forgiven! On the Kelly File tonight, Fox & Friends co-host Brian Kilmeade got his head handed to him on a platter by none other than FNC colleague and no-nonsense anchor Megyn Kelly. In the latest of their engaging segments (on Deflategate this evening), Brian opined about New England Patriot quarterback Tom Brady’s contumacious reaction to the NFL’s suspension of him for four games, the self-acknowledged “Deflator,” and Patriot owner Bob Kraft. Even though Brian expressed skepticism about Brady who reportedly failed to turn over his text messages, he seemed to give Kraft a pass–and a sop.

As Megyn grilled Brian about Deflategate, Brian mentioned that the “Deflator” Patriot ball handler was actually indicating that he wanted to lose weight according to the Brady rebuttal. As they both scoffed at the account, Megyn sarcastically responded, “In particular, that works with men. Every man wants to be told that he can deflate.” Before chuckling at her ribald reply, Brian exclaimed, “Right!”

Cutting to the quick, Megyn queried, “So, you don’t feel confident about Brady’s defense?” Brian answered, “No.” Coming to Kraft’s defense immediately and almost instinctively, Brian responded, “But, I will say this. Bob Kraft is the owner of the team, a great guy: He watches the show: He’s a huge fan of yours. And, I feel bad because I don’t want to be Stephanopoulos.”

Derisive of Brian’s attempt to ingratiate her into obeisance, Megyn declared, “Well, that changes everything!…Why didn’t you tell me that? It’s all forgiven! Never mind, they’re being railroaded.”

Unfortunately, as usual, Brian impulsively comes anew to the defense of Kraft, the owner of the Patriots who have been implicated in both Spygate and Deflategate. But, as usual, Megyn brooks no such bias from friend or foe. Megyn Kelly: Kicking butt even if it is F&F‘s Brian Kilmeade!

Hannity’s Coed “Debauchery”

May 14, 2015

“T & a”: randy O’Reilly style! Sean Hannity, host of his eponymous program, seems to have taken a page out of O’Reilly Factor anchor Bill O’Reilly‘s old playbook. Decry debauchery but let your audience enjoy the view without feeling too guilty. Tuesday night, Hannity introduced his show with approximately fifteen seconds of coed “t & a,” piously intoning, “After years of out-of control partying, chaos, crime, and now even rape, Panama City Beach, Florida, finally votes to clean up spring break!”

Announcing a “Fox News Alert,” a la O’Reilly, Hannity proudly proclaimed the efficacy of his show, saying, “Panama City, Florida, is taking major steps tonight in order to end the chaos and the crime that has plagued the city during spring break: The city council has now voted to ban alcohol on the beach and try to stop all of this out of control behavior. Now, following a two-year Hannity investigation into what really happens when your kids jet off to spring break, we discover, in fact, that it was not all fun in the sun. This year alone the partying scene was wrought with debauchery, wide-spread drug abuse, gang rapes, and even multiple attempted murders.” He continued, “So, in response, finally…the Panama City Beach city council voted unanimously last night to ban alcohol on the beach during the month of March next year–that’s the height of spring bring…and to end all booze sales after 2 a.m….

In the segment with a Panama City Beach city councilman, an attorney, and an activist, Hannity, queried, “So, the question is ‘will these new common sense measures curtail the very dangerous spring break situation that Panama City Beach has been experiencing?”‘ As the three showered approbation on Hannity for the good that he had wrought in his campaign against a raucous spring break in Panama City Beach, footage ran of bikini-clad beauties twerking, funneling beer, etc. for over three full straight minutes! Subsequently, Hannity introduced his sexy seemingly naive investigative reporter Ainsley Earhardt in the next segment, praising her, stating, “By the way, joining us now…[is]…the co-host of Fox & Friends First, She’s been down there two years in a row. Ainsley Earhardt is with us.”

Introducing a Daily Show clip of anchor Jon Stewart ridiculing the spring break hype of Hannity, Hannity exclaimed, “We took a lot of heat, we got a lot of ridicule, let’s remind people of what we got when we started our coverage.” In the Daily Show snippet, Stewart derisively declared, “Yes, America’s oldest hall monitor, Sean Hannity, dedicated not one, not two, but five different shows on the horrors of spring break including the entire hour on Friday featuring a panel of outraged experts there to expose this annual event. You will believe what they found ’cause you know.” As he aired a clip of Hannity’s show of seemingly buzzed bathing beauties imbibing and twerking as Hannity voices over, “Drinking, drugs, risky behavior, sometimes with tragic results,” Stewart snarked, “Shortly, after filming that piece, that young [twerking] woman blew out her left butt cheek. Some of the more skeptical viewers might think that this is less of a news story and more of a reason to spend a week running wildly inappropriate “t & a” footage alongside pundits tsk’ing said footage. But, you’d only be 99.9% right.”

As Ainsley and another FNC contributor decried the Panama City Beach spring break scene, Hannity aired approximately four additional minutes of “debauchery” for those viewers who needed yet more evidence of the evils that Ainsley had witnessed. And, for those who wanted yet more proof, Hannity produced approximately another minute of footage during the following segment with Ainsley and Geraldo Rivera (about how things are purported “spinning out of control,” namely the “debauchery happening at spring break, riots in Baltimore, and, of course, the war on cops all across the country”).

Debauchery” on display: O’Reilly’s old schtick. Now, Hannity’s new hook? Surprise, surprise: Sex sells!

Outnumbered Turns One: Sexy Fun Facts

May 4, 2015

Fans may have missed about Andrea, Kimberly, and Ainsley. Friday, the Outnumbered co-host hotties featured fun, frisky moments from their inaugural year in a highlight reel: Today, Carpe Diem adds a few sexy memorable facts for the delectable dames’ devotees.

Outnumbered‘s lovely ladies (Andrea Tantaros, Kirsten Powers, Harris Faulkner, and Sandra Smith) Friday celebrated their favorites moments, including what saucy Andrea thinks of when she tries on her swimsuits for the very first time; how a married Harris checks outs a good-looking guy; why one HAS to marry an alluring Ainsley Earhardt; who comely Kirsten Powers thinks is hot; and which heated host was in Janet Jackson‘s Black Cat video–in a cage.

Carpe Diem remembers other sexy fun facts from the gorgeous gals: Andrea racily revealed that she sleeps in the nude;* Kimberly Guilfoyle coquettishly admitted that she was once a Victoria’s Secret model and that she still has “great lingerie” that she models at home;** and Ainsley blushingly disclosed that a certain ex had cheated on her and confidently added, “It was all good; it’s for the best; now I’m married to an amazing guy!“***

Happy anniversary, Outnumbered beauties!

*Outnumbered – 07/02/14 (@ 12:58 p.m. ET).

**Outnumbered – 09/01/14 (@ 12:55 p.m. ET).

***Outnumbered – 11/24/14 (@ 12:58 p.m. ET).

Kiran’s Heartfelt Plea

April 28, 2015

“They need your help.” Today, Kiran Chetry desperately pleaded for the immediate help of her beloved people, the people of Nepal (the land of her birth).

In a video Kiran posted this afternoon on Twitter, the Nepali beauty reached out to both her CNN and her Fox News fans: Identifying herself as a journalist formerly of the two preeminent cable news channels (American Morning and Fox & Friends Weekend co-host respectively), she implored her Tweeps to come to the aid of her fellow Nepalis, saying, “They need your help….If there’s anything that you can do to help–a donation, no matter how big or small–you would be making a difference between life and death for these people.” Requesting their immediate aid, she added, “Waiting around to figure out the scope and scale of the disaster means lives lost that could have been saved which is why I’m asking you to please donate.”

For those who may have needed guidance as to a worthy charity, Kiran remarked, “Kids of Katmandu has years of experience on the ground in Nepal. They’ve been focusing on the children and working very closely with native Nepalis to insure that every dime you donate is spent in the best way possible to give aid to those who need it and quickly. And now is the time that they need it quickly.”  And, for any hesitant soul, Kiran continued, “Please if you have even a small amount to give, go to KidsofKathmandu.org or the American Red Cross and give anything you can to help the people of Nepal.

Kiran, this author will indeed. And, hopefully all of your other CNN and FNC fans will follow suit. Kudos, Kiran: Thanks for your video–and for letting your Tweeps know how that they can be there for the Nepalese people!

Aly: Too Sexy For New Day?

April 27, 2015

CNN buttons Camerota down–or pins her up! Sexy New Day co-host Alisyn Camerota apparently got a directive from prudish CNN producers this morning: Button your shirt! In the early morn, Aly sported a somewhat plunging neckline which flattered her fab feminine figure: But, the Fox & Friends Weekend former co-anchor also looked somewhat demure in that her decolletage was not accentuated. However, Aly did subscribe to Michelle Obama’s “dare to bare arms” fashion today: And, she looked lovely.

Perhaps, Aly appeared a bit too lovely for the staid CNN crew. In the latter part of the second hour, Aly was all buttoned up–or pinned up. The author could not discern which offending item was used to cloak the bosom of CNN’s newest Aphrodite, Kiran Chetry‘s apt successor.

Zucker, let Aly do her thing. She rules the morning even if the governor’s beefcake brother, Chris Cuomo, thinks he does. Chris may have been deemed Playgirl‘s “Sexiest Men of 1985,”: But, don’t underestimate the Bristol Bay Babe. That New Jersey cheesecake cutie keeps her fans coming back year after year–no matter what news channel she is on.

To paraphrase the Pussycat Dolls [vid], let Aly “loosen up [her] buttons”!

A F&F First: Nudity Allowed

April 25, 2015

“I’m so wasted!” Ainsley Earhardt and Heather Childers naked? For their naturalist viewers, the Fox & Friends First co-hosts made au naturel all natural.

Without warning, blond beauties Ainsley and Heather introduced a NSFW Watter’s World “Political Accomplishment Edition” segment by Jesse Watters to arouse their audience in the early morn to a little porn (April 04/14).* It was Jesse’s usual schtick of embarrassing hapless and clueless hotties and/or eccentrics about current events: This time, he ended his report with an interviewee who said that he was not yet “wasted” and a scene from Fast Times at Ridgemont High [NSFW clip (0.17/0.19)] of Jeff Spicoli (Sean Penn) who assuredly was. In the naughty vid, Spicoli proclaims, “I’m so wasted!”: On the wall in the background, there are two apparent Playboy pinup lovelies flaunting their full frontal nudity.

As the segment ended, Ainsley exclaims, “Oh, my word! Interesting!” Chuckling, Heather replied, “You never know what you’re going to get!”

Indeed, Ainsley and Heather! Playboy pinups on air? Another Fox & Friends First!

[Author’s aside: “Cleaning out my closet” [vid] as Eminem might say: Sorry, CD readers, that I did not get this F&FF story to you earlier.]

*Fox & Friends First – 04/14/15 (@ 5:19 a.m. ET).

Kilmeade: President’s “Badas* Glasses

April 23, 2015

POTUS: “Climate change can no longer be denied.” While Fox & Friends co-anchor Brian Kilmeade may not necessarily concur with the substance of President Obama’s take on global warming and its purported effect on the Everglades in Florida, he did like his style. After the mid-show began today with Tonight Show host Jimmy Fallon’s Earth Day jokes, a chuckling Brian remarked, “The President was in the Everglades with some nice…some badas* glasses.” [POTUS’s “badas* glasses pic.] As F&F co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck giggled “ooh” at Brian’s surprising choice of words, co-anchor Steve Doocy arched his eyebrows at Brian, deadpanning, “The President’s glasses?” Smiling, an unrepentant Brian haltingly riposted, “Did you see his glasses? They looked–very good!”

Kilmeade & Friends today? No, just a “badas*” Fox & Friends!

Gregg Jarrett Uncomfortable: Awkward!

April 17, 2015

“F**king…stupid…a**!” Today, America’s Newsroom guest go-host Gregg Jarrett got rather uncomfortable today [as he reported a story about the suspension of ESPN reporter Britt McHenry‘s after her “really bizarre foul-mouthed rant against a parking lot attendant for a tow truck company…filled with insults caught on video and then going viral” (via FNC vid)]. And, co-anchor Martha McCallum and Happening Now co-host Jenna Lee did not help things.

For FNC fill-in anchor Jarrett, who recently returned to Fox News after taking off for “serious personal issues,” his segment on McHenry’s suspension was an uncomfortable one for him and his viewers. As his fans may know, Jarrett recently pleaded guilty to a charge of disorderly conduct pertaining to an incident at a Minneapolis/St. Paul airport bar and grill: Allegedly, he was intoxicated and he “refused to follow orders and was arrested for obstruction of the legal process and taken to jail.” In a video of Jarrett in an apparent airport holding cell, a belligerent Jarrett calls an officer a “f**king…stupid…a**” and is summarily subdued and cuffed.

Today, a smiling Jarrett introduced his segment on McHenry, saying, “ESPN is suspending reporter Britt MacHenry after she let loose.”* Chuckling, he continued, “[I]n a really bizarre foul-mouthed rant against a parking lot attendant for a tow truck company. The ugly outburst–that’s with a capital “U”–filled with insults caught on video and then going viral.”

Subsequently, producers ran the footage of McHenry horridly raving, “I’m in the news, sweetheart. I will f**king sue this place….I wouldn’t work at a scumbag place like this. Makes my skin crawl even being here. Maybe, if I was [sic] missing some teeth they would hire me, huh?…Lose some weight, baby girl!”

In the segment, Jarrett moderated a discussion whether ESPN had the right to suspend McHenry. During it, he rightly noted, “We all have bad moments, frustrated, and we lash out and feel bad about it afterwards.”

As the block concluded, Martha seemed to gauchely throw Jarrett a lifeline, saying, “I want to go back to Britt McHenry here: I mean…obviously, she was acting like a complete jerk. I think what she needs to do is go back and apologize to that woman. But, the fact that she’s suspended from her job for a week, people have jerky behavior all the time. What’s the limit to that? Where does that end where you’re going to be monitored at home and [unintelligible] well, you said something nasty to your neighbor, and I think that you should be suspended for a week?”

Rightly, Jarrett noted, “Yeah, well the trouble is that she used her position in television in that remark.” He added, “Her biggest punishment is public humiliation. And, boy, check out social media!”

Laughing Martha said, “She’ll probably get more attention….You know how that works. You know how that works in the media world, right?”

All too aptly, Jarrett replied, “I do.”

Probably ready for a modicum of relief from Martha’s ill-conceived banter, Jarrett segued to the promo for the upcoming show, saying, “Jenna Lee is standing by for Happening Now. Hey, Jenna!”

But, there was no relief for poor Jarrett. Jenna began, remarking, “None of us have ever acted…none of us have ever acted like a jerk EVER! Anyways!”

“Anyways.” The elephant in the room remained–unremarked upon. Awkwardly for Jarrett–and the viewer.

*America’s Newsroom – 04/17/15 (@ 10:42 a.m. ET).

Prann Returns: Still Unlisted!

April 14, 2015

Anna Kooiman: “Welcome back from maternity leave!” Saturday, Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Anna Kooiman so welcomed FNC reporter Elizabeth Prann back to Fox News after her maternity leave. The proud mom said that the baby girl of her and her “crazy hubby” [pic] weighed 20 pounds: When probed further, she “conceded” that her baby weighed only eight pounds at birth.

Yes, the blond-haired beauty is back at FNC: So, why doesn’t Fox News acknowledge her?  Over two years ago, Carpe Diem noted that the flaxen-tressed lovely was not on the Fox News’ “All Anchors & Reporters” list: Today, she is still not on that list.

Strange. Maybe,  Elizabeth’s former boss, Greta van Susteren, will go to bat for her. Or, at least, her hubby Baltimore Oriole pitcher Darren O’Day should call foul!

[Author’s aside: For an archival post that lists Elizabeth as a “Washington-based correspondent for Fox News Channel (FNC), link here.]

Elisabeth’s Freudian Slip: Waterboarding?

April 9, 2015

Hasselbeck’s strange formula for Boston Marathon murderer: It is yet to be determined whether Dzhokhar [Tsarvaev] deserves to breathe another two atoms of hydrogen and one of oxygen.” Today, Fox & Friends co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck seemed to have a Freudian slip while berating Rolling Stone for its failure to update its readers on the fate of their former cover boy, now convicted Boston Marathon murderer Dzhokhar Tsarnaev.

During a segment subtitled, “Rolling Stone Silence: Web Coverage of Tsarvaev Verdict Missing,” Elisabeth’s F&F co-anchor Brian Kilmeade incredulously proclaimed, “Well they [Rolling Stone] have a stripe there just for breaking news: I don’t care what it is, where it is; It’s a “Breaking News” stripe. It never made the “Breaking News” stripe!”*

Agitated, Elisabeth exclaimed, “No, they have not updated as of yet: We’ve been checking throughout the night and this morning. Still no update on that story and whether Dzhokhar deserves to breathe another two atoms of hydrogen and one of oxygen! It is yet to be determined by the journey, jury.”

Elisabeth, there is no option to waterboard a terrorist under the current President. And, even if there were one, Dzhokhar needs no “enhanced interrogation”: He has been convicted.

No worries, Elisabeth: You can now take that deep breath–of oxygen.

*Fox & Friends – 04/09/15 (@ 8:33 a.m. ET)

[Author’s aside: For that errant truant who skipped chemistry class, the formula of water is H20.]

Aly’s “Apology”: Why I Left Fox News

April 1, 2015

Camerota: “I left Fox for more opportunity.” New Day co-host Alisyn Camerota so answered her fervid fans “MOST burning question” yesterday, i.e., “Why did you leave Fox?” [Vid.] She disclosed, “[It is] the question that I get every day.” Elaborating, she continued, “Some people say, ‘When are you coming back?’ And, some people say, ‘How dare you!’ And, some people say, ‘How could you have gone to the dark side of CNN?’ And, some people say, ‘I thought you were fair and balanced!” Smiling, Aly declared, “I’m happy to have an opportunity to address all this.”

In explanation, Aly revealed, “I left Fox for more opportunity, and CNN has exceeded all of my wildest dreams on that front. I didn’t know that I would have all of this opportunity when I came to CNN. I’m so grateful for it: In the eight months that I have been at CNN, I have had more opportunity than I had in the eight years prior.”

Contrasting her new experiences at CNN with her time at FNC, she said, “I have had exclusive interviews; I have hosted documentaries; I’ve anchored prime time specials; I’ve been on every show across CNN’s entire platform; [and] I got a job as the morning anchor on New Day which is a dream job–a long held dream job of mine.” Summing it up, she said, “I have had so many golden opportunities: And, I’m really, really happy!”

Addressing her forlorn Fox fans, she said, “And, I know that you all say that you can’t possibly be happy: I think this is possibly the happiest moment of my career, my long career. And the funny thing is that I’ve loved all of my jobs: I’ve had great jobs! I loved my time at Fox….But, this is my favorite career opportunity.”

Softening the blow further to her FNC devotees, Aly cooed, “When people say, ‘I hope you’re doing okay,’ I am doing okay. And, when they say, ‘When are you going to leave and go back?,’ I don’t think that’s in the cards, at least, not as long as CNN will have me. So, I hope that somehow you can dig deep and be happy for me and even occasionally check out the competition from time to time and tune into CNN.”

Well done, Aly. You may have new appreciative acolytes on New Day: But, you have not forgotten your faithful fans at Fox & Friends weekend either. And, the author’s bet is that they will find it difficult to “dig deep and be [truly] happy” for you: But, they will doubtlessly “even check out the competition from time to time and tune into CNN” for their beloved Aly.

[Author’s aside: In the author’s opinion, Aly said it all, supra, when she said, “In the eight months that I have been at CNN, I have had more opportunity than I had in the eight years prior.” Too bad. A la her former F&FW co-host Kiran Chetry, she deserved a center seat on the F&F weekday curvy couch and she did not get it. The losers? F&F fans.]

F&F’s Faux Pas: New “Popped Culture”

March 30, 2015

Elisabeth: “We’re going to take a look at the lighter side of celebrity news and our first story is an update on actor Harrison Ford’s condition.” Yes, Fox & Friends’ co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck so introduced FNC marketing veep Michael Tammero‘s brand new segment “Popped Culture” this morning.* Sorry, Calista!

In response to Elisabeth’s strange segue, Michael intoned, “Three weeks after crashing his plane into a California golf course, Harrison Ford is out of the hospital: The seventy-two-year-old actor reported spotted driving in Los Angeles. Ford not in the clear just yet: The crash left him with serious head wounds as well as a broken ankle and pelvis which he will likely need therapy for.”

Apparently, Ford’s wife Calista Flockhart did not see her hubby’s accident as “the lighter side of celebrity news”: Purportedly, she has forbidden him to fly his own plane again. If the reader views this graphic photo of Ford after his accident (via PerezHilton.com), s/he may agree with the former FOX femme fatale Ally McBeal.

“Popped Culture”: A recovering broken cinematic icon “the lighter side of celebrity news”? Not quite, Elisabeth!

[Author’s aside: Perhaps, F&F‘s copy editor was on spring break in Panama City with Ainsley Earhardt and the rest of Hannity‘s wayward crew (“Spring break 2015 exposed in Panama City Beach” vid): Tammero’s next story on the birth of Carrie Underwood‘s baby had a picture of her newborn subtitled, “Bundle of Joy: Carried (sic) Unerwood (sic) Shares First Pic of Baby.”]

*Fox & Friends – 03/30/15 (@ 6:37 a.m. ET).

Sen. Scott Brown: “Mr. Vice President…Get Your Hands Off My Wife!”

March 23, 2015

Guest Fox & Friends Weekend co-host: “He just had his hand on her back and it just kept going lower and lower.” Last Saturday, guest F&FW co-anchor and former U.S. Senator Scott Brown (R-MA) regaled viewers with a personal anecdote about the roving hand of the amiable Vice President of the United States–on his wife.

At the bottom of the second hour, F&FW returned after a commercial break with a joke by Tonight Show host Jimmy Fallon about the President and the Vice President. Segueing from that jest, F&FW co-host Tucker Carlson remarked, “But, speaking of our unusually effervescent Vice President, Scott Brown, you know him: You kind of had an amazing experience with the Vice President.”

As Tucker and F&FW co-host Anna Kooiman gleefully turned to him for his story, Scott nodded, saying, “Yeah, I actually like the Vice President: He does have a good sense of humor.” Sighing, he continued, “But, yeah, we, you know, we have had many encounters with the [Vice] President and referenced one yesterday on O’Reilly where…the [Vice] President, when I was getting sworn in, had his hands where I didn’t think was inappropriate.” Subsequently, producers aired a clip of a portion of his swearing in ceremony: Elaborating, Scott revealed, “I said, ‘Mr. Vice President–I said it to his Secret Service–I don’t care if you’re the Vice President or not, get your hands off my wife!”

Chiming in sympathetically, Ann said, “So, you’re being sworn in…and the Vice President is not touching your wife the way that you wanted him to.”

In response, Scott stammered, “Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Listen, we, we all have a sense of humor. And, at the end, my wife’s like, ‘Is this how things are supposed to be in Washington?'”

Demanding more details, Tucker queried, “So, what did he do?”

In answer, Scott replied, “Ah, listen, he just had his hand on her back and it kept going lower and lower. And, you know, it is what it is.”

Tucker exclaimed, “Well, that’s unbelievable!”

Coming to the Vice President’s defense somewhat, Scott declared, “Listen, he’s a very, very touchy-feelly guy: He’ll come up to you and he’ll give you a hug, guy or girl. So, I don’t want to make it seem like it was…completely inappropriate [but] it did, I felt, crossed the line a little bit.” Giving the Veep a bit of a break, he concluded, “It’s just Joe being Joe…so I don’t hold it again him.”

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 03/21/15 (@ 7:34 a.m. ET).

 

Perino: New Weekly O’Reilly Segment

March 22, 2015

O’Reilly: “Dana Perino’s top stories of the week!” Pixie pretty Five co-host Dana Perino has a new gig: Following in the tiny footsteps of her dimunitive co-anchor Greg Gutfeld, Dana  has scored a weekly segment on FNC ratings king Bill O’Reilly’s The Factor.  Bettering her little buddy (who enjoys a regular segment entitled “What the Heck Just Happened” with Imus in the Morning executive producer Bernard McGuirk), Dana has her own segment to herself.

Announcing her good news Thursday, Dana Tweeted, “So this is happening. Tonight. New weekly segment w/ @oreillyfactor where we bat around my top stories of the weeks.”

Subsequently, when The Factor aired that night, Bill began Dana’s segment, announcing, “‘Impact Segment’ tonight! Brand new segment: Dana Perino’s top stories of the week!” Introducing her, he exclaimed, “And, here she is! Co-host of The Five, Miss [sic] Perino!” Joking he added, “[Dana’s The Five co-host Bob] Beckel would never get this!”

Congratulations, Dana!

*O’Reilly Factor (second airing) – 03/19/15 (@ 11:14 p.m. ET).

Kelly’s “R-rated” File

March 16, 2015

Megyn: “It’s Friday night [and] it’s almost 10 o’clock, so we…can get away with a little more–I think.” Gallagher’s “penis pattern”! Last Friday night, Kelly File co-anchor Megyn Kelly was blushing and she liked it. Known by her longtime fans as a rather racy dame, the whilom GQ pinup [article with pics] gave her weekend audience a wicked tease.

Promoting FNC reporter Trace Gallagher‘s aviation segment toward the end of her show, Megyn provocatively chuckled, “Up next, the R-rated story of a pilot with a naughty sense of humor with a remarkable sense of direction!”* Subsequently, after the commercial break, Megyn segued to Trace, exclaiming, “It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s a–what! Blushing, she said, “Something shocking was revealed in the Florida skies when someone watching a flight-track website noticed a private plane had flown a very private path!”**

Taking Megyn’s toss, Trace elaborated, “This actually happened in the sky over Disney World….But, rest assured nobody who was wandering ‘the happiest place on earth’ saw anything filling the sky because this was not a giant sky penis it was a radar penis only visible to those who happened to be on Flight Tracker 24.” As Trace explained the path pattern the pilot took, a full-screen graphic was shown with a moving line that drew the male organ with its twin accoutrements. Subsequently, Trace bawdily concluded, “By the way, this aeronautical artist was doing his indecent doodling in a single engine airplane: You know, a private pilot sketching a private part. And, of course, not that size matters but this pattern was about eighteen miles long. Megyn.”

In response, Megyn blushed anew and partially hiding her face with her right hand coyly. Grinning naughtily, Megyn cooed, “You know, it’s Friday night, it’s almost 10 o’clock, so…we can get away with a little more, I think.”

Indeed, Megyn.

*The Kelly File (rerun) – 03/14/15 (@ 4:49 a.m. ET).

**Ibid (@ 4:53 a.m. ET).

 

F&FW Oops! TEEN Alcohol Safety

March 14, 2015

FNC “Medical A Team” doc: “We want teenagers to be careful about mixing this stuff (Palcohol) with…other alcohols.” Oops! FNC Medical A Team’s Dr. David Samadi made a Biden-like Washington gaffe this morning on Fox & Friends Week in his interview with co-hosts Anna Kooiman and Clayton Morris and guest co-anchor Peter Doocy: He told the truth. To make matters worse, he told the truth about teens and alcohol and most Americans’ real attitude about the mix thereof.

In his F&FW segment on Palchohol, a powdered alcohol that can be concocted to turn water into a variety of potent potations, Dr. Samadi remarked that Palchohol could “be abused by teenagers”: that it could be easily concealed, and that it could be carried to bars and nightclubs.* He explicated, “My concern is that some of these powdered ingredients could be very, very powerful. So, as we’ve seen with powdered caffeine that were like twenty times more potent than a regular cup of coffee, this could also be extremely dangerous….Now, if it really is that powerful, it can affect your liver [and] it can effect your pancreas, and the last thing you need is for teenagers to get into this kind of trouble…[which]…could be irreversible.”

As a cautionary conclusion, Dr. Samadi declared, “We want teenagers to be careful about mixing this stuff [Palcohol] with other kind of caffeine and [with] other alcohols.”

Oops! Dr. Samadi told the truth: Most Americans know that many teens will drink, and they hope they do it safely–even if they should not be drinking at all.

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 03/14/15 (@6:53 a.m. ET).

Vanilla Perino: As*, As*, Baby?

March 6, 2015

Or, a**hole, Ed Henry? Today, Five co-anchor Dana Perino and chief White House correspondent Ed Henry celebrated “good times.” Apparently, during the Real Story with Gretchen Carlson (featuring Dana), Ed revealed, “She [Dana] called me an equal opportunity blank–I won’t use the word, I think it starts with an ‘a,’ and it’s not a very nice word.”

Poor Ed should not feel too bad about Dana’s acerbic aspersion. He is in good company: Wannabe rapper “Tiny D” called her co-host and bud Greg Gutfeld an a**hole during a break on The Five about two years ago according to Five co-anchor Bob Beckel. On the other hand, the self-professed “biggest fan” of Bush 43, may have been having a flashback to the day that W infamously called that pesky, impertinent NYT reporter an “a**hole.”

Ed: an a**hole? Probably not–unless he gets on Dana’s bad side!


Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 81 other followers