Ainsley: My Cheating Ex

Harris Faulkner: “That man was just a fool!” Strangely Fox & Friends First co-host Ainsley Earhardt was giving thanks a little early for a cheating lover Monday. In a segment on Outnumbered (about a “gene that hurts romance”), an aggrieved Ainsley remarked, “If I had known [about] this study, I would have tested the hair samples of some of the exes that cheated!”

As her Outnumbered co-hosts and #oneluckyguy former NYPD detective Bo Dietl chuckled, Ainsley exclaimed, “It would have told me they had the gene!”

Incredulously, Dietl queried, “They cheated on you?”

Flushed, a chagrined Ainsley admitted, “Well, I had one!”

Chiming in, co-anchor Harris Faulkner declared, “Well, that man was just a fool!”

Somewhat defensively, Ainsley asseverated, “And, listen, it was all good! It’s for the best. Now, I’m married to an amazing guy!”

Ainsley’s “amazing guy”? Former Clemson quarterback hubby Will Proctor. Ainsley’s cheating guy? Possibly, former hubby Kevin Wayne McKinney.

Ouch: Bad boys, don’t mess with a Southern Belle!

*The Five – 11/26/14 (@ 12:58 p.m. ET).

Post-Op Elisabeth Returns

Hasselbeck: “No additions: only removals!” Fox & Friends co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck returned to the curvy couch Friday with much fanfare. In his pre-show tease, guest co-host Eric Bolling altered the usual tagline, saying, “Mornings are better with ‘Friends’ and Elisabeth.” Subsequently, as the camera panned in on Elisabeth, Eric, and co-anchor Steve Doocy, Steve sweetly intoned, “Studio E as in Elisabeth Hasselbeck.”

Kissing Elisabeth on the cheek, Steve queried, “You are back!…Where have you been?”

Elisabeth jested, “You know, just hanging out! That’s all!”

Turning serious, she answered, “Look…I’m so glad and thankful, really thankful to be back with all of you.” Elaborating, she said, “I had a bit of scare….I had a tumor [size of a tennis ball]* in my abdomen….Doctor said, ‘Look, you got to get it out by the end of the month: We don’t like how it looks.’ Explicating further, she said, “I did what they said….I had a scary week where we didn’t know what the results were but I’m okay….I had the blessing of it not being cancer….I got a clear and clean bill of health.”

Chiming in, Eric remarked, “So many prayers for you!” As he and Steve held her hand, Elisabeth responded, “I’m sorry my palms are sweaty but I know you guys love me like a sister [so] you understand.” Put the icing on the segment [pun intended], Steve asked, “You know what would make you happy right now? Cake!”

As one of the crew brought in a cake festooned in red, white, and blue, Steve exclaimed, “It’s a news channel so we got a cake from somebody in the news, Cake Boss.” Cooing, Elisabeth, responded, “Oh, and my favorite colors….Thank you, Cake Boss.” Bringing some snark to militate slightly against any treacle, Eric jibed, “Wherever you are!”

Concluding the segment, Elisabeth tearfully declared, “I don’t like a fuss: you know that! But, this is, this is a special day: I’m really, really thankful. I’m really thankful!” Subsequently, she thanked FNC honcho Roger Ailes for his support and threatened to “whipping on” co-host Brian Kilmeade anew “in some obstacle courses” after she healed. Perchance, addressing any Internet rumors, she playfully pointed to her breasts, proclaimed, “No additions, only removals happened while I was gone!”

“Clear and clean”: glad you are well, Elisabeth! Welcome back!

*F&F – 11/14/14 (@ 7:01 a.m. ET).

Hasselbeck: I’m Still Here!

“Ever thankful to be a part of @foxandfriends.” Today, Fox & Friends co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck set the record straight: She’s still the queen of the curvy couch–no matter what fans of her recent fill-ins Anna Kooiman, Ainsley Earhart, or Kimberly Guilfoyle may want.

Seizing the opportunity that every holiday affords the Twitter user to say whatever is foremost in her mind, Elisabeth proclaimed, “Ever Thankful to be a part of @foxandfriends and @FoxNews Family – where every day is #VeteransDay #ThankYouVeterans #USA.” In other words, I support the veterans and what they have sacrificed for me and the nation, AND I am still in the center seat on the curvy couch, girlfriends–and viewers.

Even the Fox & Friends fan who can barely stomach Elisabeth’s priggish paean to The View by constantly dubbing her co-anchors, Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade, “brothers” (vis-a-vis a more randy approach a la E. D. Hill or Gretchen Carlson) should root for Elisabeth’s speedy recover from the surgery that she had about a month ago. However, they can be forgiven for wondering why Elisabeth has taken her time returning to the vaunted curvy couch. Approximately a month ago (October 15), Steve announced, “In case, you were wondering where Elisabeth is today…she had some surgery yesterday and she’s going to be out for a couple of weeks, and Brian reassuringly remarked, “In a short time, she’ll be back on the set.”

Happy Veterans Day indeed to those who have served this great country and her citizens! And, get well soon, Elisabeth!

Anna B. Kooiman: F&FW’s Dancing Queen

To paraphrase the Go-Go’s,  she’s “got the beat.” The “booty-shaking” queen of the Fox & Friends Weekend curvy couch, Anna Kooiman, showed she still has the moves Sunday. [Vid1 link.] In a segment on viral sensation “dancing anchor” newscaster Dan Thorn of WV WVNS, Anna could not help but join in the fun with her sexy grooving (as her less-than-shy guest brought smiles to always clowning F&FW co-host Clayton Morris and even stodgy co-anchor Tucker Carlson with his infectious gamboling): In fact, the shapely fitness instructor reminded her viewers of her self-professed penchant for “some booty shaking.” [Vid2, vid3, vid4].

And, F&FW fans don’t mind one bit: As Taylor Swift says, Anna, just “Shake It Off“!