Kirsten’s Acne Angst?

FNC’s happy progressive warrior analyst Kirsten Powers got a bit surly today in her second Fox & Friends Weekend debate segment (on the presidential race) with conservative radio personality Mike Gallagher. In the first one, Kristen seemed to be her usual combative, cheerful self: However, in the second part, she got a bit testy with Gallagher as to who deserved the blame as to the Katrina disaster.

When Gallagher indicted the Dem mayor of New Orleans and the Dem governor of Louisiana for the emergency response, Kirsten acerbically responded, “You know, I don’t want to re-litigate Hurricane Katrina with you.” Seeking to quiet any animus, Alisyn Camerota intervened and said, “You guys are right and none of us do. Then she added, “Let’s just hope that three years later that all of those lessons on both sides have been learned and that Gustav will be handled much better.”

What might explain Kirsten’s anomalous departure from her generally amiable demeanor? One possible reason is that her cosmetic artist’s goof was on prominent display. Instead of hiding an apparent zit below her lower lip, the makeup made it sparkle in the camera’s gaze. Apparently, the makeup artist had used the wrong makeup, i.e., one that appears to hide an imperfection to the naked eye but amplifies it to the television camera with a shiny or glittering display.

Any teenage acne sufferer can commiserate with the attractive blonde pundit. A zit that shouts out its existence to the public is no laughing matter, especially one on the boob tube. Kirsten, it’ll go away soon or you’ll get a more knowledgeable cosmetic expert and all will be well again in the aesthetic world.

Here’s Clayton!

Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Clayton Morris manifested his comedic bad timing once again today. In the very first segment, F&FW’s jester in residence aped the laugh of Ed McMahon, Johnny Carson’s second banana, during a headlines segment about McMahon’s house going back on the market. Which was fine. However, he callously continued to do so as Aly related McMahon’s foreclosure troubles brought on by his recently broken neck. After Alisyn Camerota said, “We wish the best for him,” Clayton tried to cover himself by saying, “That’s not funny.” Really?

“Ah, Kiran! The Daisy Duke of CNN!”

Today American Morning co-host Kiran Chetry was dubbed the “Daisy Duke of CNN” by erstwhile Dukes of Hazzard star and former U.S. Representative Ben “Cooter” Jones (D-GA). After Kiran’s introduction of Jones in a segment entitled, “Obama’s Blue Collar Appeal,” good ole boy Cooter smiled appreciatively at AM’s luscious lass and said, “Ah, Kiran! The Daisy Duke of CNN!” A bit dubious about his bucolic blandishment, Katmandu’s Kiran chuckled and replied, “Well, that’s a compliment coming from you.”

Well, Kiran, you do have those lovely legs!

Shep: “Party Unity My Ass”

Roger Ailes “Go-To Guy” Shepard Smith eschewed the Victorian verbiage of his more “highbrow” FNC colleagues, e.g., Bill O’Reilly, Sean Hannity, etc., today on Studio B today. In a political panel discussing whether Hillary Clinton’s supporters were warming to Barack Obama after Hill’s speech last night, one of the panelists mentioned that yesterday PUMA leaders’ said that she still had a chance. Shep cheekily interrupted, “I have to let people know what acronyms mean: PUMA is Party Unity My Ass.”

No New York hoity-toity euphemism for the hoi polloi from that Southern Rebel.

* 2:20 p.m. ET

Boos News: U Choose

Fox & Friends’ UText poll was an utter disaster today. In the first quarter hour of the show, Steve Doocy, Gretchen Carlson, and Brian Kilmeade solicited votes for the question of the day. (The question was “Did Michelle [Obama] win over her critics?”) In the first reporting of the poll results, the screen indicated that 41% said yes and that 58% said no: Steve haltingly and hesitantly reported the results. Thereafter Steve and Gretch reported the results thrice: each time they were polar opposite of those on the screen. Not once did either explain the discrepancy.

FNC reported one thing for your eyes and another for your ears: you decide which sense to choose.

Patti Ann Peeved?

Guest FNC news reader Patti Ann Brown seemed a bit peeved today at the treatment she has received from Fox & Friends co-hosts Steve Doocy, Brian Kilmeade, and Gretchen Carlson lately. Yesterday the co-anchors acted as if they had no idea who was reading the headlines from New York, and Patti Ann sarcastically thanked them for their “personal” introduction. Today the brown-eyed beauty fared not too much better as the co-anchors seemed generally distant: perhaps, the F&F co-anchors did not want the audience to get attached anew to a news reader. (F&F has abolished that position as a permanent one but needs it temporarily while the F&F crew are on location at the Dem Convention in Denver.)

Before the last headlines news segment today, the F&F co-hosts gave Griff Jenkins the toss task and he embraced it heartily. Appreciatively, Patti Ann responded, “Hey, Griff! And, thanks, too, for showing them how it’s done. We [sic] really appreciate it. Sorry, guys!”

Give Patti Ann some love, guys!

Crayola “Flesh” Resurrected?

Did Fox News resurrrect the appropriately killed Crayola “flesh” color for its mikes at the Dem Convention? All of its non-convention-floor luminaries and guests at the Democratic Convention wore face mikes that were Crayola “flesh” hued. Even Juan Williams, its lone African American last night had to don a Caucasian-colored mike.

The color was an odd choice since the camouflaged mikes made the white pundits occasionally look as if they had strange facial features and were otherwise unflattering. A sleek black microphone would have been better aesthetically. Also, no improper subliminal (albeit unintentional) message would have been sent out.

FNC, what were you thinking?

“F**k Fox News”

Fox News correspondent Griff Jenkins got the brunt of the “Recreate ’68” protesters’ ire on America’s Election Headquarters today. “Recreate ’68′” was made up of leftists, who hoped to recreate the chaos of the 1968 Democratic Convention in Chicago: they were primarily angry at Dems for not ending the Iraq war and were calling for the end of “occupations” in Hawaii, Puerto Rico, and North America. After one of its speakers (radical former University of Colorado professor Ward Churchill) refused to speak to him and getting roughed up by the crowd, Griff removed himself from the group but rejoined it as it marched toward Denver’s Pepsi Center (where the Democratic Convention will be held this week). When Griff began to try to interview the marchers, he was met with disdain, obscenity, and harassment. Then, suddenly, he was surrounded by protesters chanting “F**k Fox News” and flipping the bird to the camera.* A gutsy Griff was forced to toss back to Jamie Colby after about 25 seconds of the “f” word elapsed uncensored.

* 2:07 p.m. ET

Princess Dave

Fox & Friends co-host Dave Briggs didn’t find a pea under his mattress but wasn’t sure about the pillowcase. In a segment on a copper oxide (anti-wrinkle) pillow, Dave asked, “How comfortable is this thing? I need a really comfortable pillowcase.” Clayton Morris jibed, “You know what I’ve learned about you? You are very dainty.” Dave readily responded, “I’m a bit of a princess: absolutely.” Alisyn Camerota cheerfully chimed, “Diva!” Then as Dave segued to Rick Reichmuth, he said, “Rick is going to jump all over me right now because he frequently calls me a bit of a princess.” Rick replied, “I’m not going to do it on tv, though: I’m just passing on what your wife says to me to say to you is all.”

King Ailes’ F&FW court: Queen Alisyn, Princess Dave, and Jester Clayton

Karl Rove: Aly F&FW’s Adult

Think what you will of Karl Rove but the “Architect,” former Bush adviser and current Fox contributor, echoed what many Fox & Friends Weekend fans feel this morning. In a segment on Obama’s selection of Biden as veep pick, Rove said that he had been watching F&FW’s coverage intently. Dave Briggs wisecracked, “We’re flattered, Karl.” Rove riposted, “And I’m grateful you have adult supervision there in the form of Alisyn.”*

Aren’t we all? Or, at least, many of us.

* 9:48 a.m. ET

Camerota Chides Castrato

Fox & Friends Weekend co-anchor Alisyn Camerota apparently chided her castrato choir off camera but on mike. After it appeared that either Dave Briggs or Clayton Morris missed a reading cue, Aly smiling said, “Will I ever stop reading?” Shortly thereafter (8:02 a.m. ET), when a correspondent reported on the Joe Biden story, Aly sounded as if she scolded, “I told you what to” and her voice abruptly halted. The lessons continue.

“Desperado” Gretchen

Fox & Friends co-host Gretchen Carlson gave her audience a Bushologism. During her interview with former Clinton Communications Director and Fox News contributor Howard Wolfson, Gretch asked, “A lot of people said that the only way that he [Barack Obama] would pick Hillary is if it were desperado: But, in the last twenty-four hours it looks a little bit more desperado, doesn’t it?” Obviously, Gretch should have said “desperate.”

Surely, the Stanford grad with honors knows that a desperado is one that is in dire straits (an obsolete definition) or a violent malefactor.

Kinky Kiran

American Morning’s co-host Kiran Chetry’s sub rosa preference for beefcake Mark Spitz vis-a-vis pinup Michael Phelps [as to dueling Sports Illustrated covers from different eras] was revealed by her co-anchor John Roberts. Roberts asked Kiran to share her off-camera comment with the audience. Kiran replied, “I have to go with Spitz: I like a man with a little bit more hair.” She added, “Michael Phelps is a little too clean shaven. He’s a guy: He’s supposed to have armpit hair.” Elaborating further, she said, “You can see on Mark Spitz…the nice halo effect from the armpit hair with the sunset back there.”

Roberts teased, “I know ya’ll at home have been wondering what it takes: now we know.” Then, promo’ing tomorrow’s telecast, he said, “We’ll see you back here again bright and early tomorrow.” Kiran responded, “Maybe. If I’m invited back.”

Kiran, whatever your kink, you’re always welcome to brighten America’s Morning.

School Marm Megyn

The usual blonde mane of America’s Newsroom co-host Megyn Kelly was pulled back like a strict Amish school marm today (albeit with a dress slightly shorter). Partying hard last night, Megyn? Perhaps, a baseball cap would have done you as well (a de rigueur accessory on some campuses after a very long night).

As Bill O’Reilly said, you are the hardest working lady on Fox News. Nevertheless, get some sleep tonight; come in early tomorrow; and let your hair dresser work his/her magic. Of course, you don’t really need any sorcery to look simply lovely: A mere combing of your long tresses should do the trick.

Briggs Bending It like Beckham

Fox & Friends guest host Dave Briggs continues to “bend it like Beckham.” Today, in a segment on bartenders’ political secrets, Dave said that he liked the survey question about which political party liked the fruity (or pink) drinks. Then he added, “I like the pink drinks.” Co-host Gretchen Carlson teased, “I saw you on the Sex and the City tour: you downed about ten of those cosmos (cosmopolitans).” Dave replied, “That says nothing about my political affiliation but I do enjoy a fruity drink.”

After yesterday’s admission that he sometime takes longer to get ready than his wife and his earlier feeding Clayton Morris a cupcake and sipping cosmopolitans on the Sex & the City tour, Dave seems to be following manbag-toting, man-embracing Brian Kilmeade’s example. Dave (and Brian) seems to be trying to bend it like Beckham in appealing to both straight and gay demographics with an androgynous appeal. Interestingly enough, all three guys are all married with children.

Gretch Scrimps: Briggs Primps

In a Fox & Friends segment on how long it takes women and men “to get ready,” Gretchen Carlson said that it took her ten minutes and Dave Briggs demurred in his personal assessment. (According to a new study, over their lifetimes women take 3276 hours and men approximately 1000 hours to get ready.) Gretchen said that she didn’t really wear makeup on the weekend and tried to expend as little time as possible getting ready. Then Steve Doocy wondered aloud how men could spend could spend so much time getting ready. Dave Briggs said that it took him longer to get ready than his wife some days: He elaborated that it wasn’t so much the face creams but alot of hair product but he refused to estimate the actual time.

Fox & Friends: Pretty Boy Briggs, Plain Jane Gretchen, and Whatever Doocy. Who is supposed to be the Fox and who are the Friends? Carpe Diem reports: You decide.

Aly Sloe Good

Alisyn Camerota looked “sloe good” in her purple sleeveless mini on Fox & Friends. Dave Briggs and Griff Jenkins, today’s thorns around this tart wild plum, seemed somehow more palatable. For weekend delight, this gammy gal, too, mixes well with gin.

Kiran: My Name Is Karen

In an engaging interview of Margaret Cho of the Cho Show, American Morning co-host Kiran Chetry shared a personal experience of childhood assimilation into American culture. Cho, a comedienne of Korean descent, had said that Asian children [like herself] became more American by “ridiculing” their immigrant parents for their accents because it was so embarrassing. The Nepalese/Ukrainian beauty Kiran responded, “I know exactly what you’re saying: when I was younger–my dad is from Nepal–I used to tell people my name was Karen ’cause it was very strange to be named Kiran in elementary school.

Kiran or Karen: “A rose by any other name” is still that beautiful fragrant flower!

F&F’s Open Mikes

Ninety-one year old Hollywood icon Ernest Borgnine shared just a little too much today on Fox & Friends. As the interview by F&F’s three co-hosts with the silver screen legend winded down, Steve Doocy asked Borgnine his secret to looking twenty years younger: Borgnine replied, “I don’t dare tell you.” Then he leaned in and whispered in Steve’s ear, “I masturbate alot.” Gretchen Carlson said, “What? I actually heard that.” Then amid laughter and disbelief from Steve and Brian Kilmeade, she surprisingly added, “I like this guy.” After the commercial break, bemoaning the gaffe, Steve groaned “Oh, Fox and our open mikes.”

Kill Kung Fu Confab

Veteran actor David Carradine was not amused with his Fox & Friends interview promoting his new movie “Kung Fu.” In an uncomfortable confab, the Kill Bill star corrected an unappreciative Brian on his pronunciation of the main character in the intro: then he didn’t quite get Brian’s first question. Brian oliquely asked, “Why is this too taxing?” With his head cocked, Carradine responded, “What?”

After Brian tried to explain ineffectively, Steve Doocy elaborated that the prepared materials indicated that the shoot was a tough one. From that point it was polite as Carradine tried to explain the SPIKE TV movie and Gretchen Carlson, Steve, and Brian tried to engage, laugh, and just make the colloquy work with limited success.

At the end of the interview as Steve was wrapping up, Carradine tried to hype the promo more by saying, “And Daryl Hannah: you got to talk about Daryl Hannah.” Steve then replied, “She did some stuff, too, on Spike TV” and tried to end the segment. A surly Carradine said, “That’s all Daryl gets?”

Remind anyone of the Brian’s KISS interview?