New Day Censors Sexy SI Swimsuit Models–Butt

Fox & Friends celebrates the bevy of beauties’ derrieres. Sex: Yes, it sells. And, that may be one of the reasons that priggish CNN’s morning show New Day gets it head handed to it on a silver platter on a daily basis by its saucy FNC counterpart Fox & Friends.

Today, New Day (a la the 1956 “Ed Sullivan Show” of Elvis’ gyrating hips) bowdlerized the bottom half of the cover of the Sports Illustrated 50th Anniversary Issue cover which featured three bathing beauties flaunting their assets. In its sole coverage of the SI cover, ND entertainment correspondent Nischelle Turner stood next to a big screen (featuring the fetching faces and topless tops of Lily Aldridge, Nina Agdal, and Chrissy Teigen from the back), reporting, “Now this is the first time since 1994 that three women have been on the cover.”*

Noting the obvious omission, i.e., ND co-host Kate Bouldan complained, “I don’t see swimsuits, though….You could actually show their derrieres!” Expressing her disappointment at New Day‘s censorship, she explained, “One of my girlfriends–her swimsuit line is featured on the cover of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue“: When Nischelle responded, “Oh, so they’ve got your friend’s bottoms on?,” Kate excitedly exclaimed, “Yes! “Basta! So proud! It’s such a big moment!”

In pellucid contradistinction from CNN, F&F prominently and proudly featured the uncensored scantily clad ladies: To wit, it proudly proclaimed “Bottoms up” of the 2014 SI Swimsuit cover girls. At the start of each hour, the cover was shown as F&F co-hosts touted SI‘s answer to the winter blues: In tandem, respectively, news reader Heather Nauert would end her top-of-the-hour headline stories with the SI Swimsuit cover displayed on F&F full screen as she invited guys to “take a long look” at “those booties” that “everybody wants to see.”**

Except for Jeff Zucker‘s censors on CNN.

*New Day – 02/14/14 (@ 7:14 a.m. ET).

**Fox & Friends -02/14/14 (@ 6:11 a.m. ET; @ 7:06 a.m. ET; and @ 8:06 a.m. ET).

Carol Alt’s New Show: Easy, Sexy–and, RAW!

A work in progress–hopefully! Former supermodel Carol Alt debuted her new afternoon FNC weekend show A Healthy You & Carol Alt Saturday with a cornucopia of information for her fans, fellow fitness freaks, and the casual viewer.* Unfortunately, the haut couture beauty seemed to think that she was filming a thirty-minute infomercial instead of debuting FNC’s next big hit–chirping constantly about herself, her health ken, and whatever else she could think of–proving the adage that silence is, or certainly can be, golden.

Carol’s start out-of-the-gate was assuredly awkward: But, she brought her game–at least, as to her knowledge of health. Now, the former Sports Illustrated and Playboy cover girl needs to step it up with her presentation–less self-promo and more edutainment. In other words, slow down, Carol, take a breath, and talk about your passion with your fans–not at them.

Good luck, Carol! Hope your new show is a success!

[Author’s aside: “Easy, Sexy–and, RAW!,” supra, is a less than subtle allusion to Carol’s book Easy Sexy Raw.]

*A Healthy You & Carol Alt – 09/07/13 (@ 4:00 p.m. ET)

Briggs’ Disturbing Double Entendre?

Dave: “Is #PennSt now ‘leading from behind?'” Today, Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Dave Briggs seemed to joke jarringly about the incredible Penn State tragedy. He  Tweeted, “Is #PennSt now ‘leading from behind?’ Assistant coach Mike #McQueary placed on administrative leave tonight.” Not funny.

According to the Sandusky Grand Jury Presentment,* a Penn State graduate assistant (namely, McQueary) allegedly witnessed former Penn State defensive coach Gerald Sandusky rectally raping a “naked boy…estimated to be ten years old” in a Penn State football locker room shower in 2002. Prima facie, Dave’s query, “Is #PennSt now ‘leading from behind?,” sounds like a disturbing reference to that horrific event. If it is, Dave, the devoted father of two young children, should apologize sincerely and profusely for his remarkable lapse of judgment.

Hopefully, Dave meant something entirely different (and innocuous) by his remark. If so, he may do well to explain. Posthaste.

* To reference the Sandusky Grand Jury Presentment, click the link “a grand jury’s findings of fact” contained within the Sports Illustrated article.

Gretchen: Casey Who?

Fox & Friends co-anchor Gretchen Carlson scored an impressive interview with Derek Jeter, World Sports Illustrated’s “Sportsman of the Year.” As she basked in the glow of her catch this morning, she failed to share a little fact with her audience: Her hubby is Casey Close, a long-time agent of the World Series champion New York Yankee co-captain Jeter.

From the moment the interview began, an enraptured Gretchen seemed to almost have her own  Chris Matthews “thrill up [the] leg” moment. Gretchen introduced Derek with a glowing litany of his accomplishments and, subsequently, asked him such probing questions as to what he would do after baseball and whether he would go back to school (since he left college as a freshman). After effecting his apparent apotheosis, she sympathetically queried, “Twenty-four seven the microscope is on you: How difficult is it to live your life so perfectly?”

Even after the interview clip had run, Grethen continued to lavishly laud her husband’s client. She told her co-anchors Brian Kilmeade and Steve Doocy that she had also asked, “So many people think that you are this perfect guy–which he doesn’t like that label–I said, ‘Do you have any flaws, like, do you make your bed in the morning?” [He does not.]

Apparently, even the producers realized that Gretchen’s questions were more than a tad power puffish. Right before the segment ended, Brian, ratcheting Derek’s divinity down to demigod, remarked, “Here’s the thing about Derek. Great job! He’s not the best in the league; he’s not the best shortstop; he might not even be the best on his team. But, yet everybody wants to be like him, right? Even his enemies seem to respect him. It’s amazing!”

Mighty Casey did not show up today but his man sure did. And, thanks to Gretchen’s pitching, there will assuredly be joy in Closeville tonight.

Steely Dan-ica Patrick

Today on America’s Newsroom, Danica Patrick, IndyCar’s first female winner and Sports Illustrated model, showed why she is GoDaddy.com’s prized possession. When AN co-anchor Bill Hemmer hammered her with questions about whether she would join the IndyCar circuit full-time, there was no beating around the bush with her. Although a tad exasperated, she patiently answered his queries and then got the interview back on track.

When Hemmer finally mentioned her historical Indy Japan 300 victory (first female Indycar winner), he asked, “What is it like to compete in a man’s sport?” Picking up her man-eating persona, Danica declared, “I don’t know any different: You know, it’s how I grew up. I grew up with a bunch of boys in Go-Karting, and now I’m with a bunch of men in Indycars.” She added, “I enjoy it, actually. Men think simple. You guys are easy and obvious….Whatever is on you mind is what you’re thinking. Whatever is obvious.”

Subsequently, Hemmer queried Danica about her GoDaddy-sponsored IZOD IndyCar Series car. Seamlessly seguing into her role as GoDaddy.com spokesmodel, she pointed to its phallic-shaped nose and purred,”You got to start from the front because I have…a chrome horn or chrome nose. I’m hoping it’s filled with, like, something really solid and. Then she racily added, “Never mind! I won’t go there. But, yeah, we’re all GoDaddy now.”

Yes, it’s Steely Danica and her car. It’s name? Chromy Dan-ica, perhaps. She can certainly crush the men on the field and off.

Been reading Burroughs‘ Naked Lunch lately, Danica?

Kinky Kiran

American Morning’s co-host Kiran Chetry’s sub rosa preference for beefcake Mark Spitz vis-a-vis pinup Michael Phelps [as to dueling Sports Illustrated covers from different eras] was revealed by her co-anchor John Roberts. Roberts asked Kiran to share her off-camera comment with the audience. Kiran replied, “I have to go with Spitz: I like a man with a little bit more hair.” She added, “Michael Phelps is a little too clean shaven. He’s a guy: He’s supposed to have armpit hair.” Elaborating further, she said, “You can see on Mark Spitz…the nice halo effect from the armpit hair with the sunset back there.”

Roberts teased, “I know ya’ll at home have been wondering what it takes: now we know.” Then, promo’ing tomorrow’s telecast, he said, “We’ll see you back here again bright and early tomorrow.” Kiran responded, “Maybe. If I’m invited back.”

Kiran, whatever your kink, you’re always welcome to brighten America’s Morning.

Gretch Scolds Supermodel

Christie Brinkley, supermodel and former Sports Illustrated swimwear model, got chastened by Gretchen Carlson, former Miss America and current Fox & Friends co-host today. After a segment celebrating National Family Fitness Day, Brian Kilmeade asked the comely cover girl to tease the upcoming stories. She playfully read the teleprompter including a story about fires and storms “wreaking havoc on the country.” She light-heartedly ad libbed, “Oh no!” Gretchen sternly said, “This is a serious news story.” Christie contritely handed off the tease to Steve Doocy and afterwards apologizingly sympathized, “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.” Good save, Gretch, and nice rebound, Christie.