Hottie Heather Returns to F&F

Former Fox & Friends newsreader Heather Nauert returns as the new State Department spokesperson. The blonde beauty had the same sexy mien with a short dress and plunging neckline this early morn on the curvy couch as usual: And, she also brought the brains and strength re North Korea, Russia, and Syria with full control of POTUS’ perspective. She was a true Trump representative: Sexy, smart, and strong a la FLOTUS!

Congratulations, Heather, on your job! And, welcome back to F&F!

*Fox & Friends – 09/04/17 (@ 8:03 a.m. ET).

 

Piro: “This Is My First Day”

Morris: “See you next [sic] Sunday on the show.” Fox & Friends fans seemed a bit confused yesterday and today as to whether new hire Todd Piro, an erstwhile NBC Connecticut host was replacing Clayton Morris on Fox & Friends Weekend. Wednesday, Todd was welcomed to the Fox & Friends family as its “newest member” by F&F co-anchors, Steve Doocy, Abby Huntsman, and Brian Kilmeade.

In the segment, supra, entitled, “Welcome to the F&F Family, Todd Piro!, Todd introduced himself with a video showing him revisiting his hometown of Verona, New Jersey; visiting a life-long friend (from kindergarten); touring his high school where he played in the VHS Maroon and White marching band; and presiding over a family dinner where his mom said, “You always liked an audience” and his lovely, spunky wife saucily added, “I think she’s politely saying, ‘You like attention.'”

Strangely, no one explained what Todd’s new role would be: Ergo, it was only natural that F&F fans would wonder whose role he may be taking. Friday, he did his first diner interview at the Cozy Corner in Miami Springs, Florida, for F&F: Afterwards, new newsreader Philly lovely, adventure-seeking Jillian Mele (fun F&F intro vid) who recently replaced Heather Nauert (now State Department spokesperson) gushed: “I’m so excited for him! He got here about a week after I did.” Saturday and Sunday, Todd guest hosted on Fox & Friends Weekend, causing viewers to wonder if Clayton was leaving the show: Saturday it was mentioned several times that Todd was filling in for Clayton at but on Sunday it was not.

So, it is not surprising that F&F and F&FW fans want to know who Todd will be replacing–or if he is merely a new addition. Naturally, one might think that Todd might be the latest co-host of F&FW replacing Clayton to completely clean the slate of the old team consisting of the beloved three-time co-host Alisyn Camerota, fun family guy Dave Briggs, and tech geek Clayton to start anew with Abby as the queen of the weekend curvy couch with former VA candidate Pete Hegseth and the new guy Todd as her “bookend” guys.

For F&FW fans who happen to follow Clayton on Twitter, on Saturday, he Tweeted, “Off to Reheboth Beach/Bethany Beach Delaware for the week. See ya next Sunday on the show.”

Re Clayton’s return next Sunday, it is likely. But, nota bene, sometimes, F&FW vacations seem to be an adumbration of the future.

 

Clayton’s Back! Why?

Heather Childress: “Something a little bit different this morning.”* Fox & Friends First, generally, has been–and should be–a boy-free anchor zone. Unfortunately, the FNC brass seems to be inanely tinkering with the concept of feminine pulchritude arousing F&FF fans aptly in the morn. To wit, true to his word, Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Clayton Morris was back again as an F&FF co-host this early morn: He looked like the sad sack who wanted to be a Hooter’s waiter: It just does not work.

Clayton, you are fine on the curvy couch as a bookend to the “fox” du jour on Fox & Friends Weekend: But, sorry, you are an amusing annoyance as a F&FF co-host trying to supplant such beauties as Abby Huntsman or Heather Nauert.

F&FF co-hosts: Only lovelies need apply!

*F&FF – 09/19/16 (@ 5:30 a.m. ET).

[Author’s aside: As a kind, savvy source apprised me, Clayton’s FNC bio now includes him as an F&FF co-host: Hopefully, it was in error.]

 

F&FF: Fox & Friends First First?

Ladies? Fox & Friends First viewers were given a jarring jolt this morning–and it was not the coffee. Rather, it was F&F Weekend co-anchor Clayton Morris seizing the seat that Abby Huntsman or Heather Nauert normally possess next to Heather Childers. Needless to say, it was not a pretty sight.

But, brace yourselves, F&FF fans, Clayton said that he will be back tomorrow. Where is Roger Ailes when FNC needs him? And, Clayton go back to the weekend–and, give the ladies back their seat!

[Author’s aside: Re Carpe Diem article title, supra, this is the first time in the author’s recollection that a male has co-hosted F&FF.]

Correction (re author’s aside): Apparently, I expunged the F&FF male invasion from my memory. :-) Fox & Friends First throwback: debut announcement elucidation (Ainsley Earhardt & Anna Kooiman). Link: http://video.foxnews.com/v/1488443413001/co-hosts-ainsley-earhardt-and-anna-kooiman-preview-fox-and-friends-first/?#sp=show-clips

Post Anna: Heather Nauert?

On the Fox & Friends Weekend curvy couch. As the lovely Anna Kooiman gambols about on her cross-country trek showing hubby Tim Stuckey the sights (before going Down Under to live with him), frequent fill-in F&F First co-host Heather Nauert auditions for Anna’s erstwhile job. And, Heather is not too bad: She is smart, sexy, and no nonsense–after all, she is from the Chicago area.

The delightful thing about Heather is that she is sexy fun and unashamed while she is not afraid to take her male co-hosts to task. Captivatingly, she is happy to disclose her first kiss and with whom; to reveal skipping school to get a fake I.D.; and to confess her nude frolic in a VW bug. In fact, she reminds the author of a certain gal who helped set the precedent for what it means to be queen of the F&F weekday curvy couch, E. D. Hill–the gal who could be more than a match for her bookend guys and who put the “Fox” in “Fox & Friends.”

Good job, Heather!

 

Nauert’s Naked Frolic

Naughty Heather confesses. Fox & Friends news reader Heather Nauert really heated things up for her viewers today on the F&F plaza: she revealed that she had once pulled a Lady Godiva in a Volkswagen bug–with the top down for all to see. And, she did not seem to mind that Peeping Tom.

During a “Top Adventure Vehicles for  the Summer” segment [vid], the F&F co-hosts (Ainsley Earhardt, Steve Doocy, Brian Kilmeade) and Heather helped showcase the vehicles with auto expert Mike Caudill on the patio. When Heather’s turn arrived, she sat at the wheel of a 2016 Volkswagen Beetle Dune, exclaiming, “Come on over! Wooh!” As he walked over to jump in, he said, “This is a throwback vehicle: This takes us back, right?” Apparently, it did indeed.

Before Caudill could even close the door, Heather saucily asked, “Ah! Can I tell you the last memory of this car?” Before he could answer, Heather racily revealed, “I lost on a dare to my best friend who had this car and I had to ride in it naked! Hiding her head in her hands in mock shame and then looking up with a sexy smile, Heather giggled, “With the top down!” Turning to an allured Caudill, Heather risquely continued, “And, we pulled up next to my Latin teacher.” Then, she laughed robustly–as if she were a ribald German barmaid serving up copious drafts with verboten views.

Trying to compose himself, Caudill did not reply instantly to Heather’s siren song: Rather, he simply continued, saying, “So, this is a Volkswagen Beetle Dune.” Chuckling, Heather replied, “You’re like ‘anyway’!” Finally, responding, Caudill exclaimed, “I know. I’m like she just said that she’d go naked in this thing!…How do I transition off that?”

Transition? Hmm. Lady Godiva rode on her steed: Likewise, Lady Heather rides in her Beetle! Look out, boys: Here she comes!

*Fox & Friends – 05/04/16 (@ 7:54 a.m. ET).

Elisabeth’s Tearful Farewell

Hasselbeck: “This hurts!” Today, Fox & Friends co-anchor Elisabeth Hasselbeck said  a painful goodbye to her co-hosts, Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade; the F&F crew; and her fans after a mere two plus years on the curvy couch. The three hours of F&F today were replete with homages to Elisabeth from the likes of Judge Andrew Napolitano, Governor Chris Christie, and GOP front runner Donald Trump. And, Elisabeth was effusive in her praise for, of course, the boss Roger Ailes, for her co-hosts Steve and Brian, and seemingly for every Tom, Dick, and Harry who works for F&F. It was vintage Elisabeth: sweet, cloying so, and seemingly sincere.

The author wishes her well in her position as CBO, i.e., Chief Breakfast Officer, of the Hasselbeck household. Speaking of which, it seems odd, in retrospect, that her own family, hubby Tim and the kids, seemed to have taken a backseat to her work family of Steve, Brian, newsreader Heather Nauert, meteorologist Maria Molina, and the F&F crew today. The faithful F&F fan might have hoped to hear not only her fond farewells to her F&F fam (and fans) today but also a dear, sweet welcome back to full-time work as Hasselbeck CBO from her eagerly awaiting hubs and kiddos–on screen or even on the phone this morn. Alas, it was not to be.

Elisabeth, even though you initially seemed to the author to be an odd choice to follow the footsteps of E.D. Hill and Gretchen Carlson, you have earned your place on the curvy couch–as a sister to Steve and Brian rather than the sexy siren to her couch mates. Much success in the future, Elisabeth!

[Author’s aside: The subtitle, infra, is a quote from Elisabeth re her departure in the final moments of the first F&F segment this morning. F&F – 12/22/15 (@ 6:10 a.m. ET).]

Naughty Nauert’s First Kiss

Heather and Jamie sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G. Thursday, Fox & Friends newsreader Heather Nauert revealed her first kisser and where they did it. After a “Shot of the Morning” viral video of a little boy describing his “mind-blowing” first kiss, waggish F&F co-anchor Brian Kilmeade tossed to Heather, saying, “Here to describe her first kiss, Heather Nauert!”*

Gamely, Heather grinned and pointed upward, responding, “In a tree house!”

Not expecting her eager revelation, Brian exclaimed, “Oh! In a tree house? Fantastic!”

Elaborating unabashedly, Heather replied, “Yeah! The guy contacted me on Facebook a few years ago!”

Chiming in mischievously, co-host Steve Doocy, queried, “With?”

Unashamedly, Heather answered, “Jamie Evans.” Waving through the camera to her first beau, Heather exclaimed, “Hi, there, Jamie!”

F&F: Fox & Friends. F&F Thursday (with Heather): fox & fun!

*Fox & Friends – 01/22/15 (@ 6:34 ET).

 

Heather Nauert’s Fake I.D.

“And my parents never knew!” Last Thursday, seemingly straight-laced Fox & Friends news reader Heather Nauert let viewers in on a little secret–she has not always been such a good girl. During an F&F Throwback Thursday segment, Heather showed a facsimile of her first car, a white station wagon with faux wooden side panels.* Elaborating, she said, “This is the mighty wagon that was actually not my car: My friend found this mighty wagon in Illinois about a week ago [and] she took a picture and sent it to me.”

Grinning mischievously, she remarked, “The best story I have about this [is] one day we skipped school, a friend of mine and I did: We went to downtown Chicago to get fake I.D.’s.”

When F&F co-anchor Steve Doocy interjected, “How very Ferris Bueller!,” Heather replied, “Yeah, very Ferris Bueller! Coming back on the expressway, I jumped a median because I had missed my exit, got the car stuck on that median–this is during rush hour in Chicago, right–and so one of those big highway crews then comes by: It’s like this huge truck like the size of a, an ambulance or something and it pushes us off the median. We head home to Rockford, Illinois, and my parents never knew–until now!

Laughing, she exclaimed, “Sorry, Mom!”

As a epilogue, she added, “I think I was seventeen or eighteen….”

Good gal Heather Nauert: I can be bad–really!

* Fox & Friends – 07/10/14 (@ 8:41 a.m. ET).

New Day Censors Sexy SI Swimsuit Models–Butt

Fox & Friends celebrates the bevy of beauties’ derrieres. Sex: Yes, it sells. And, that may be one of the reasons that priggish CNN’s morning show New Day gets it head handed to it on a silver platter on a daily basis by its saucy FNC counterpart Fox & Friends.

Today, New Day (a la the 1956 “Ed Sullivan Show” of Elvis’ gyrating hips) bowdlerized the bottom half of the cover of the Sports Illustrated 50th Anniversary Issue cover which featured three bathing beauties flaunting their assets. In its sole coverage of the SI cover, ND entertainment correspondent Nischelle Turner stood next to a big screen (featuring the fetching faces and topless tops of Lily Aldridge, Nina Agdal, and Chrissy Teigen from the back), reporting, “Now this is the first time since 1994 that three women have been on the cover.”*

Noting the obvious omission, i.e., ND co-host Kate Bouldan complained, “I don’t see swimsuits, though….You could actually show their derrieres!” Expressing her disappointment at New Day‘s censorship, she explained, “One of my girlfriends–her swimsuit line is featured on the cover of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue“: When Nischelle responded, “Oh, so they’ve got your friend’s bottoms on?,” Kate excitedly exclaimed, “Yes! “Basta! So proud! It’s such a big moment!”

In pellucid contradistinction from CNN, F&F prominently and proudly featured the uncensored scantily clad ladies: To wit, it proudly proclaimed “Bottoms up” of the 2014 SI Swimsuit cover girls. At the start of each hour, the cover was shown as F&F co-hosts touted SI‘s answer to the winter blues: In tandem, respectively, news reader Heather Nauert would end her top-of-the-hour headline stories with the SI Swimsuit cover displayed on F&F full screen as she invited guys to “take a long look” at “those booties” that “everybody wants to see.”**

Except for Jeff Zucker‘s censors on CNN.

*New Day – 02/14/14 (@ 7:14 a.m. ET).

**Fox & Friends -02/14/14 (@ 6:11 a.m. ET; @ 7:06 a.m. ET; and @ 8:06 a.m. ET).

F&F: Ainsley Replaces Heather?

Elisabeth Hasselbeck: “I love seeing you in the morning.” Yesterday, Fox & Friends First co-host Ainsley Earhardt filled in for F&F newsreader Heather Nauert. Regrettably, only for the day.

And, seemingly, that is the sentiment that co-anchor Elisabeth Hasselbeck expressed mid-show Monday. Segueing to Ainsley to proclaim the headline news, Elizabeth exclaimed, “You know who looks good? Ainsley!”* Turning to Elizabeth with a big smile, Ainsley cooed, “Aww, you’re so sweet!” Feeling the love, Elisabeth aptly answered,  “I love seeing you in the morning!” Perhaps, presciently, Ainsley responded, “Thanks! I love being with you guys!”

Ainsley does fit in rather well with Elizabeth and the F&F boys. Even though she may not have that “alpha bitch” prerequisite a la Lis to co-host with Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade, the South Carolina belle does add her delightfully genteel manner–friendly, funny, and deferential to the “stars” of the show. Instead of the awkward ad hoc observations that Heather too oft makes, Ainsley facilitates a smooth transition from and back to the co-hosts.

For fans of the Chi-town chick (like White House press secretary Tony Snow who told her “God made you beautiful”), she is not bad to look at–at all. But, sometimes, the leggy blonde beauty is just a bit too perky and chirpy for the Fox & Friends dawn. Ironically, an hour earlier, paired with the other Heather (Heather Childers), she can be a delightful wake-up call.

F&FF: Wake up to Heather–in fact, both of them! F&F: But, greet the day with Ainsley and Lis!

*Fox & Friends – 01/21/14 (@ 7:34 a.m. ET).

Huddy & PAB: “Simply the Best”?

The girls are back in town! Former Fox & Friends First co-hosts Juliet Huddy and Patti Ann Browne opened their old show to the inimitable Tina Turner’s “Simply the Best” this morning. As current F&FF co-hosts Ainsley Earhardt and Heather Childers took the holidays off, it was an amusing start to the day after Christmas for F&FF fans.

As the reader may recall, F&FF (this iteration) debuted almost two years ago (March 5, 2012) with Ainsley and Anna Kooiman at the helm (vid) as nine other rotating co-anchors (i.e., Heather C., Heather Nauert, PAB, Juliet, Arthel Neville, Jamie Colby, Julie Banderas, Dave Briggs, and Clayton Morris) stood at the ready for their shifts. However, on its one-year anniversary, Ainsley signaled that the F&FF co-hosts had been pared to four: She, the two Heathers, and PAB had survived the cut. Approximately, six months later, FNC whittled the number down to two, namely, Ainsley and Heather Childers: TV Newser rather charitably reported that FNC had chosen the two as the “permanent anchors” of F&FF.

But, today, Juliet and PAB had their revenge at Ainsley and Heather Childers’ expense as producers, wittingly or not, committed a lese-majeste, declaring the fresh Jersey girl and Red Eye‘s “notorious PAB” “simply the best [better than all the rest].” Of course, Ainz and Heather C. are scheduled to return to rule their roost soon. And, if the sages are right, she who laughs last laughs best.

F&FF: Ringing in the New Year with feline fireworks? If so, it should be fun! Rowrr!

Stormy Maria: Inked Pink!

Molina reveals her secret “tart tatt”–nine months late. For Carpe Diem fans of the Fox News weather gal Maria Molina, a/k/a “Cosmo’s caliente Latina,” the revelation was a long time coming. Over nine months ago, the author noted the barbed pink/red ringlet adorning Maria, Tweeting her, “[I]s that a red “barb” tattoo or a beauty mark on your left wrist?” Not a word from the Nicaraguan nymph: Perhaps, the demure beauty thought that FNC was a tatt-free zone and she did not want to be dispatched posthaste like her comely “spanked and spurned” predecessor Domenica Davis.

Nevertheless, Monday, F&F newsreader Heather Nauert outed the demure damsel on F&F‘s After the Show Show. During the episode entitled, “Hidden talents,” with Maria, Heather, and co-hosts, Elisabeth Hasselbeck and Steve Doocy, on the curvy couch,  Heather abruptly turned to Maria, teasing, “Give me your hand here! Give me your hand! What is that on your wrist?”*

Embarrassed, Maria initially pulled her arm away from Heather: Then, complying, she gave her hand to Heather. Subsequently, Heather (and Elisabeth) turned Maria’s arm for all of her F&F fans to see the reddish pink symbol inked on her wrist. Interjecting, Steve intoned, “Wait! Wait!…Oh, look at that: it’s a stamp!”

Chiming in, Heather added, “It looks like she was at a little club.”

Chagrined, Maria admitted, “It’s a tattoo.” Shyly, she subsequently explained, “It’s actually a tropical storm.” Then, she added, “It’s supposed to be Hurricane Andrew. And, that’s the reason I became a meteorologist.”

Sounds good–at least, to the parents. But, for ardent acolytes of the smoldering Maria Molina, her explanation seems almost too convenient. For those votaries of a tropical stormy Maria, her symbol looks almost a little like the inchoate etchings of Pamela Anderson’s racy barbed wire.

To quote Eminem, “Maybe, that’s what happens when a tornado meets a volcano.” Maria, “love the way you lie.” Or, not.

[Author’s aside: Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler weighs in? “Pink is my favorite color.”]

*A.S.S. (12/16/13) – @ 03:08/04:20

H/t: J$P. (Steve Doocy’s “shout-out” to J$.)

Huddy: “On Oreilly every Wednesday.” Not!

[Updated, infra.] “Did You See That?” Fox & Friends First co-host Heather Nauert took Juliet Huddy‘s signature segment tonight on the O’Reilly Factor with nary a word of explanation from Bill (nor even a Tweet peep from Juliet).* In fact, when Bill introduced Heather to the absent Juliet’s “Did You See That?” audience (on CDC excessive alcohol use data), he simply said, “And, here now to explain further, Fox News correspondent Heather Nauert.” When Heather had finished opining and bantering with Bill, Bill presented the blond beauty further to his audience as a Fox & Friends First co-host on at 5:00 a.m.–the show that followed his own in its final airing of the night: But, no mention of Juliet.

Simply an oversight by “William” of his faithful friend? Perhaps. However, only yesterday, Juliet had confidently proclaimed, “On Oreilly [sic] every Wednesday” (when a Twitter follower had asked, “Where have you been…no more Oreilly or curvy couch?”). This Wednesday, she was nowhere to be found on O’Reilly: But, she was assuredly on Twitter, Tweeting thirteen missives–not a single one about her absence tonight.

O’Reilly Factor: Huddy out, Heather in? Stay tuned.

O’Reilly Factor – 08/21/13 (@ 8:49 p.m. ET)

Update: For the second week in a row (08/28/13), Huddy was still M.I.A.: America’s Newsroom co-anchor Martha MacCallum served instead as O’Reilly’s correspondent on “Did You See That?” Once again, Bill made no mention of Juliet on his show nor did Juliet provide any explanation via her Twitter chatter. O’Reilly Factor – 08/28/13 (11:49 p.m. ET).

Fox & Friends First Turns One: Growing Pains?

Co-host Ainsley Earhardt: “The four of us.”* F&FF‘s Big Love to less love? On March 5, 2013, Ainsley and her co-anchor Heather Nauert marked their first anniversary on the new Fox & Friends First with a much smaller family of co-hosts and a wiser (or, perhaps, more wizened) version of its younger self. Of the earlier stable of beauties (Anna Kooiman, Ainsley Earhardt, Juliet Huddy, Patti Ann Browne, Arthel Neville, Heather Childers, Heather Nauert, Julie Banderas, and Jamie Colby) and two beasts (Dave Briggs and Clayton Morris), only Ainsley, the two Heathers, and PAB survived the year. As to the show itself, it seems to be still evolving.

When F&FF made its debut [vid1], it proudly featured its “twin” sexy South Carolina sirens, Ainsley and Anna, who more than made good on their saucy promise to rouse their viewers with a “shot of expresso” [vid2].”  Bringing “SexyBack” a la the original F&FF [vid3] in the ’00’s (with Kiran Chetry, Alisyn Camerota, and Juliet Huddy), Anna and Ainsley saucily showcased their sexy stems in short dresses for their fervid fans as F&FF cameras took obligingly lingering shots. Subsequently, after two femme editors (1, 2) mocked the morning gamfest, they returned the very next day to a new set which hid their gorgeous gams behind a huge table: However, after the author derided them for “Losing Sexy Fast” and “Happening Not!,” F&FF switched course again and ditched the daffy desk.

Approximately, four months later, F&FF‘s website signaled that other changes were on the way when it provided only the bios of the current F&FF co-hosts, Ainsley, the two Heathers, and PAB. Subsequently, Juliet moved on to become a Fox 5 Good Day NY co-host; Arthel to her weekends as America’s News Headquarters co-anchor; Jamie Colby to her weekends also to America’s News HQ; and Clayton to his F&FW spot (and F&F guest co-host); and Dave ultimately to NBC Sports (with Michelle D. Beadle).

Re the programming itself, F&FF has ditched the split-screen opening with shots of the lovelies preparing for their show juxtaposed to the opining of Bill O’Reilly to conclude the Factor: in its place, F&FF producers run a modern-day version of American television viewers beginning their day to the national anthem and Old Glory waving in the wind before the programming begins. Mid-show, the gorgeous gals stretch their gams and stand rather than flaunt their legs and sit to proclaim the five important stories of the next half-hour. Furthermore, the “B Team” beauties no longer end their show with a segue to the F&F “A Team”: Rather, they bid their viewers adieu in lieu of risking another uncomfortable toss (“F&F Cat Spat: Gretch ‘Slimes’ the Two Heathers”).

Growing pains? Over the year, F&FF has pared its “perfect ten” to a “final four.” A winning team for the future?

[Author’s aside (re the subtitle): When Heather Nauert concluded F&FF‘s anniversary show, saying, “It’s always a great time together,” Ainsley answered, “The four of us.”]

F&FF’s Old Turkey: “Scrambled Up!”

Finally, thrown out? Thankfully, Fox & Friends First‘s awkward “Scrambled Up” signature sign-off seems to have surceased around Thanksgiving. After almost a month of its absence as the segue segment from F&FF to Fox & Friends, it seems safe to say that it has run its course. Now, there is no toss from F&FF co-hosts to their F&F counterparts: instead of the usual hand-off, the F&FF co-anchors crisply conclude their show and simply announce that F&F is next.

For FNC fans who have dreaded the tortured toss exchanges between the F&FF co-hosts and their Fox & Friends colleagues, the change is a welcome one. The F&FF ladies (Ainsley Earhardt, Heather Childers, Heather Nauert, and Patti Ann Browne) no longer have to play second fiddle to F&F diva Gretchen Carlson or her boys, Brian Kilmeade and Steve Doocy. In fact, they don’t have to play at all with their seemingly scornful sibs who appeared to disdain playing the “Scrambled Up!” jumble with their  F&FF “little sisters.”

Apparently, Ainz, PAB, and the two Heathers are all grown up now–and on their own. At last.

Doubly “Blessed” Ainsley: “It’s Official!!!”

Gets new hubby–and new job! Fox & Friends First co-host Ainsley Earhardt returned to her show today with a brand new lease on life. Last night, Ainsley announced via Twitter that she, Heather Childers, Heather Nauert, and Patti Ann Browne are now the “official” Fox & Friends First co-hosts. Today, she proclaimed on F&FF how “blessed” she was to have a “beautiful” new husband, former Clemson quarterback Will Proctor (as she shared wedding photos with her viewers mid-show).*

As Ainsley revealed to her Facebook friends, Ainsley got married to Will less than two weeks ago (October 13). Subsequently, the two lovers went on a romantic romp to an undisclosed location. But, Ainsley indicated that it would not be all fun and games: She Facebooked, “Even on our honeymoon, we are excited to watch the debate. Critical time for our great country!”

Congratulations, Ainsley, to you and Will! And, laurels, on your selection as official F&FF co-host!

[Author’s aside: Over three months ago, the author posited in Carpe Diem‘s “Fox & Friends First: The Four Now?” that the F&FF roster appeared to have been pared down to Ainsley, P.A.B., and the two Heathers. Happily, Ainsley finally confirmed it yesterday.]

*An earlier pic of the happy couple at the New York Junior League 58th Annual Winter Ball.

F&F Cat Spat: Gretch “Slimes” the Two Heathers

Nauert: “She’s wrong for once.” Fox & Friends co-anchor Gretchen Carlson got rather perturbed at her fellow FNC blonde colleagues, F&F First co-hosts Heather Nauert and Heather Childers, for correcting her on air yesterday. In the “Scrambled Up!” segue (consisting of the jumbled letters of a word from a story in the show) from the early F&FF to F&F, Gretchen usually has found it frustrating and daunting: But, Monday she sat smug and confident before the two Heathers’ toss (of the letters, “m,” “l,” “e,” “i,” and “s”). Just not for long.

After F&FF‘s penultimate segment concluded, “The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly” segment, Nauert declared, “Okay, it’s time to get ‘Scrambled Up’ and Gretchen Carlson is here to help us.”

Grinning, Gretchen blurted, “I already know it: slime.”

“Slime?” queried Nauert, incredulously. Echoing her, Childers chimed, “Slime?”

Rolling her eyes at Gretchen’s answer, a smiling Nauert replied, “Noooo.”

After, possibly, getting the real answer in her ear, Gretchen rolled her shoulders, proclaiming, “It could be.” As Gretchen’s co-host Steve Doocy and Childers chorused “smile” in reply, Nauert charitably declared, “She’s wrong for once.”

Not willing to concedeto her F&F colleagues, Gretchen proudly insisted, “It could be slime.” Coming to her succor, Gretchen’s other co-host Brian Kilmeade inaccurately interjected, “It’s true.”

Looking through the camera at Gretchen with outstretched palms, Nauert confidently declared, “It’s ‘smile’!”

Mimicking Nauert’s body language, Gretchen defiantly shouted, “It could be ‘slime’!”

Compliantly, Nauert’s co-host Childers concurred, “It could have been ‘slime'”: Less deferential to her F&F elder, a seemingly sarcastic Nauert laughed, “It could be. Yes, yes. Very good, Gretchen!”

Having secured her possibly Pyrrhic victory for the moment, Gretchen riposted, “Okay. But, I’ll smile when I say it. Thanks, ladies!”

After that cat spat ended (and as F&FF ended and F&F began), Brian aptly asked, “Was slime in the show, though?” Ignoring his clear implication that she was wrong (since the answer has to have a word in the show itself), Gretchen blithely proclaimed, “That may be the first time that we’ve had a word that could be two words.”

[Author’s aside: Actually, Gretchen was right that the answer could have been two words: However, “slime” was not one of them. Both “smile” and “miles” were contained within the subtitles of F&FF stories (consecutive ones) less than ten minutes before “Scrambled Up”: “Smiles Not Always Contagious: Bosses Grin at Those Lower in Pecking Order” and “By the Numbers: 24 Miles, 4 Minutes, and 834 MPH” (about the space dive of “Fearless Felix”).*]

*Fox & Friends First – 10/15/12 (@ 5:51 a.m. ET)

Ainsley Just Married? “Our Husbands”

Did Fox & Friends First co-hostc Ainsley Earhardt announce today that she has tied the knot again? This morning, she certainly appeared to do so after her myth-debunking health segment with Dr. David Samadi of FNC’s “Medical A Team.” As she concluded the interview, she asked Dr. Samadi if warm milk helped one get to sleep: he answered that one would have to drink “gallons and gallons of milk” for its tryptophan to induce slumber. Subsequently, when Ainsley tossed back to her co-host Heather Nauert, she jested, “Do you hear this, Heather? So, our husbands have no excuse when they sit on the sofa after Thanksgiving dinner because they’re not eating gallons and gallons of turkey.”* [Italics added for emphasis.]

One final connubial tease by Ainsley? Three months ago (June 18),the author noticed the new big rock that she suddenly began to sport on F&FF: In a Carpe Diem article entitled “Ainsley Earhardt ‘in Shape’: Blushing Bride 2B?,” he noted that the usually “ringless” Ainsley had Tweeted a pic of herself proudly sporting the ring to her followers and had hinted to her F&FF fans two weeks earlier that she was a bride-to-be in an “Wedding Workout: Exercise to Get You Ready for the Big Day” segment with Nikki Glor. Almost two months later (August 15), when she guest-hosted on Fox & Friends weekday, Ainsley finally admitted, “Yes, I’m getting married.” Today, she seemed slyly to tell her own audience on Fox & Friends First that she is now married when she playfully remarked “our husbands.”

Congratulations, Ainsley?

Update: Ainsley and her putative hubby’s new abode? Only six days ago, she Tweeted a photo of a beautiful house on the shore to her followers, teasing, “The Beach – Home Sweet Home.”

Fox & Friends – 09/19/12 (@ 5:25 a.m. ET)

“Scion” Heather: Ainz “Honky Tonk Angel”

Foxes’ “Civil War”? F&FF blonde beauties’ pillow fight. Yesterday, Fox & Friends First co-anchor Heather Nauert landed the first downy blow to her fellow flaxen-haired co-host Ainsley Earhardt. The Yankee Heather Locklear look-alike “scion of a prominent Chicago-area family” playfully dubbed her Reb South Carolina belle counterpart, who proudly hold her wedding reception at the SC guv’s mansion, “Honky Tonk Angel.” But, Ainsley was no match: Just girlie giggling ensued.

F&FF‘s leggy lovelies started the morning with their daily “5 @ 5:00” headline news segment. After Ainsley read a story on the death of the “Queen of Country Music” Kitty Wells a/k/a Muriel Ellen Deason, whose seminal hit “It Wasn’t God Who Made Honky Tonk Angels” opened the way for future femme stars, Heather innocuously remarked, “What a name of that song, huh?”: Then, she tartly teased, “That’s what we’re going to call you, “Honky Tonk Angel”! Instead of riposting like most Southern ladies would, i.e., with an acerbic prick of from her hidden velvet-sheathed dirk, Ainsley demurely demurred and simply tittered sweetly.

Poor soul: Ainz went down without even a whimper. Her “Civil War” with Heather was just a little too civil. For a real Southern lady. And, especially, a “honky tonk angel.”