Huddy Hocks Rock

But, no worries: “Poor” Juliet will fill in on Fox & Friends Weekends during the holidays. To Juliet’s chagrin today, Carpe Diem noticed that the F&F fill-in co-host had doffed her engagement ring and wondered whether she was back on the market again. Miffed at the author’s impertinence, the blonde beauty snarked that she had “hocked it for fried turkey” and caviled that that “is how vicious rumors get started.” “NOT NICE,” she complained.

Not nice, Juliet? Not nice is not appreciating your fans who give a tinker’s dam about you and your future at Fox & Friends Weekend. You may be in for “a few more weekends between now and New Years [sic]” for the youthful, beautiful blonde Anna Kooiman: But, if you envision replacing her in the future, temporarily or permanently, you may want to keep in mind that being an alpha bitch is one thing–but being a real bitch is another thing altogether.

Juliet, you were a curvy couch classic. Stay that way.

Huddy Returns: Sans Honey?

Oops: she did it again? Former F&FW co-anchor Juliet Huddy returned to the curvy couch this morning sans her engagement ring. Only three weeks ago, when she last guest-hosted F&FW, Juliet was surreptitiously sporting premarital bling on her ring finger: When she failed to disclose her new relationship status and her new fiance to her F&FW fans on the show, Carpe Diem reported her apparent betrothal to Steven Wright.

Over a week later, Juliet finally acknowledged her engagement to Wright albeit with a pixellated pic of him and her (kissing in Italy). Then, two days thereafter, she came clean, Tweeting a clear photo of her and her fellow. Proudly, she penned, “My…fiance.”

Strangely, today, (a mere nine days later), FNC’s carnal cougar forgets her connubial bejeweled band. Has the thrice-married lovely left yet another lover? If so, perhaps, “beau John Jordan” can give Juliet’s former Mr. Wright a few coping tips.

Juliet’s back! And, back on the market to boot? Stay tuned.

Kate Bolduan: Out at New Day?

“No, not yet!…I still need him here for a little while longer.” Yesterday, New Day co-host Kate Bolduan appeared to let viewers in on a little secret, i.e., that she may not be Chris Cuomo‘s co-anchor for much longer on CNN’s early morning news flat liner. Perhaps, CNN honcho Jeff Zucker has given her the news: According to FTVLive last month, its sources disclosed that Chris told CNN honcho Jeff Zucker that “Kate is not a good fit for him and he wants someone new.”

During a segment on Obamacare, political commentator Will Cain used the “you” as a pronoun for government in answer to a query from Chris.* Chuckling, Chris replied, “From now on, every time you’re here you call me “government. That’s my new nickname.” As Cain remarked that he was using the proverbial “you,” Chris jested, “You can call me “Guv.”

Smiling, Cain riposted, “Are you announcing something today?”

Grabbing Chris’ arm, Kate interjected, “No, not yet!…I still need him here for a little while longer.”

For Chris and/or Kate’s acolytes, the question is “how much longer, Zucker?”

*New Day – 11/21/13 (@ 6:33 a.m. ET)

Eric “Explains” Kid Diss: I’m a Dog Lover!

“I got beat up all day on…the Internet!” One more thing! During the final Five segment Monday, co-anchor Eric Bolling tried to “explain” away his dissing of viral sensation toddler Beau earlier in the day on Fox & Friends (vid). Introducing his “apology,” Eric showed a few pics of Beau and his puppy pal Theo adorably cuddling as they napped and then aired the F&F clip for which Carpe Diem gave him grief for incredibly asking a mother to give her grumpy toddler to someone off screen during an interview. After the snippet ran, Eric remarked, “So that was me recommending, ‘No…keep Theo the dog, and put Beau to the side. I got beat up all day on, on the Internet!”

Looking into the camera, Eric implored, “But, you have to understand something: I’m a dog lover!” Pointing toward the viewer, he continued, “Look at this picture someone sent to me. My brother-in-law sent this to me today. That’s Freedom and me.” As a picture of a big dog licking an eyes-closed Eric on the lips appeared on the screen, Jasper‘s “mum,” fellow co-host Dana Perino exclaimed, “Oh, my god” and co-anchor Greg Gutfeld gibed, “This is perverted!” Uncowed, Eric continued, “We are BFF’s. I love that dog!”

Eric’s explanation: Feeble at best. A red herring? Yes. But, at least, he tried!

Eric Bolling: F&F Bully? “I’m Sorry!”

Subbing for infamous F&F “child abuser” Brian Kilmeade, Eric gives cute kid the hook–but he is sorry.* On Fox & Friends this morning, Five co-host Eric Bolling took filling in for Brian, perhaps, a bit too seriously. As F&F fans may remember, Brian made two-year-old basketball phenom Titus Ashby cry when he carelessly rebounded a basketball for the toddler and inadvertently hit him in the nose with it [vid-07/11/13)]: Today, Eric may not have made a baby boy cry but he certainly had little tolerance for one who did (i.e., one who was more than understandably agitated at having to appear on national television at the ungodly time of 4:33 a.m. PT). To wit, incredibly, he asked a sleepy-eyed, cranky California child’s mom to hand him off to someone else off camera as their interview began. Oops!

In a segment scheduled far too early for man or beast on the Pacific Coast, mommy blogger Jessica Shyba appeared with her son Beau in one arm and her puppy Theo in the other. As producers aired the now viral adorable boy/pup nap-time pics, Beau and Theo began to tussle with each other–like two playfully bellicose brothers–as Shyba struggled to keep a handle on them both. Sympathetically, co-host Steve Doocy remarked, “Jessica, if you want to put one of them down, go ahead.”

Gratefully, Shyba responded “okay” as she handed the puppy to one out of the camera’s eye. As she did, Eric exclaimed, “No! Leave that one! Put the other one down! I’m just kidding!” Perchance, sensing that he, in truth, had not been jesting, Shyba handed her baby boy Beau to the person off cam and took back the puppy. Apparently, realizing his faux pas, Eric chuckled, “Ah, I, I was just kidding. I’m sorry!”

Later, when the interview began to end, Steve kindly asked, “You want to bring Beau in one last time just  for a ‘so long,’ or is he out of the room?” Chuckling uncomfortably, Eric interjected, “Yes!” Smiling, Shyba answered, “He’s out of the room.”

Subsequently, after co-anchor Elisabeth Hasselbeck thanked Shyba, Theo, and Beau for joining the co-hosts, Steve looked over at Eric with arched eyebrows and a questioning look. Reddening, Eric protested, “I was kidding! I was teasing!” Chastening Eric, Steve riposted, “What’s the matter with you!” Concurring, Elisabeth aptly concluded, “You’re giving a mom a hard time early in the morning. That is messed up!”

*Author’s aside: Eric Bolling’s “brother” Bob Beckel gave that moniker to Brian–to his great discomfit–when he subbed on the Five shortly after Brian’s ill-thrown pass to Titus.

F&FW: Fox & Friends “Weakend”

Since she’s been gone. Hit the snooze button or grab a mimosa! Since the queen of the curvy couch Alisyn Camerota left Fox & Friends Weekend, the formerly must-see weekend morning news show has become almost a soporific sedative for even its most ardent acolytes.

About the only time the F&FW fan can now easily escape the embrace of the arms of Morpheus is whenever newbie blonde beauty Anna Kooiman delivers her “shot of expresso” as she frenetically frolics in one of her fun, frisky features [e.g., Cirque du Soleil “Wild Thing” (vid), “funkadelic” turbo-kicking tutor (vid), or leather-clad Daisy-Duke-driving wannabee (vid)]. Otherwise, the F&FW viewer is too oft served up a tepid potation of pontifical palaver by F&FW‘s new alpha male Tucker Carlson (whenever he deigns to appear on the curvy couch) or a similarly impotent echo from his now best beta bud Clayton Morris (when he is not aptly opining as the tech geek in residence).

Including FNC meteorologist Rick Reichmuth, F&FW “Three Men and a Baby”? Nah, “Three Boys and a Babe.” To paraphrase the inimitable Eminem, “It seems so empty without [Aly]!”

Carol Dares to Bare Again!

A second Playboy appearance? Not yet: But, the sexy supermodel Carol Alt did strip during the opening of her eponymous show, A Healthy You & Carol Alt, yesterday and today. Sorry fellows, the long-legged, mini-dress clad lovely only took off her tagline at the beginning of her program. But, it is a start!

This week, Carol decided to scratch her solipsist intro, “I’m Carol Alt. I’ve been on the cover of more than 700 magazines and traveled the world for photo shoots and movies….I’m just like every person watching this show, and I want to help make a healthy you.” Instead, she aired the same title graphics and opening music but stripped off the annoying tagline (and its concomitant mag and vid footage). When the camera panned to a radiant, smiling Carol, she more intimately welcomed her viewers, simply saying, “Welcome to A Healthy You: I’m Carol Alt.”

Changing her show further for the better, Carol eschewed her earlier esoteric modus operandi with her experts and their arcane argot in favor of a more audience-friendly approach without the fitness pedagogues. Instead, she featured “ugly duckling” model and actress Heidi Albertsen (with childhood weight and eczema issues), a plain spoken expert (GMO’s), and an active navy physician (type-2 diabetes). Finally, she closed with her signature “Ask Carol” segment, exhorting her viewers to personal responsibility and fitness.

If her show today is precedent for the future, Carol has markedly transformed her program for the better. She still seems somewhat stilted in her speech and her mannerisms: But, she should be able to work out those challenges over time. And, hopefully, she will continue to tailor the program to meet her own and her audience’s expectations.

Kudos, Carol!

Juliet Huddy Finally Finds Her Mr. Wright

Brother John John: “My sis Juliet and her fiance Steve.” Former Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Juliet Huddy returned to the curvy couch this weekend with a little something extra special–her new engagement ring, apparently. After striking out thrice, FNC’s pulchritudinous player is pluckishly back at bat again: But, strangely, Juliet (and her her co-hosts, Tucker Carlson and Clayton Morris) never revealed her secret to her fans on either F&FW show. Happily, her brother John Huddy (and Fox 5 NY colleague) did–nine days ago: He Tweeted the connubial news and a pic of Juliet’s betrothed, saying, “My sis and her fiance Steve.”

Even though  Juliet has not announced the news to her own Twitter followers, she has left copious hints. On September 13, she Tweeted, “Happy Bday to my love @SWrightNYC. i hope you have an amazing day!!!” A few weeks later, she took a two-week European vacation with him, Tweeting copious pics of herself [1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8] and two of her beloved, one of him in front of Westminister Abbey and another of him and her (posing menacingly as a message to a pickpocket who stole her camera). Subsequently, on October 28, Juliet Tweeted out a pic of her and her anonymous ” great friends out watching the Mizzou game” (including her man right beside her).

Congratulations, Juliet, on finding Mr. Right–er, Wright!

F&FW’s Juliet Huddy: “The ‘Bitch’ is Back!”

“Blast from the past!” Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Juliet Huddy made a triumphant return today to the curvy couch that she once shared with Mike Jerrick and Julian Phillips in the early 00’s (and that she has eschewed as a sub of late). Taking the reins from the too oft diffident current co-anchor Anna Kooiman for the weekend, the former F&FW “alpha bitch” proudly introduced her appearance as a” blast from the past.”* And, so, it was.

Dressed in her ironically virginal white mini dress, Juliet held court with her boys du jour, Clayton Morris and Tucker Carlson. No awkward pauses, no alphabet soup, and no meek mien from this dirty blonde beauty: The brassy New Jersey broad Juliet appeared in sharp contrast with her more demure Southern belle successor Anna. And, maybe, she intended it that way–or, at least, Shine did.

From this viewer’s perspective, Anna’s absence appeared rather odd since she has been on the job for barely a month. Stranger yet, the usually chirpy bird neither Tweeted her followers nor alerted her Facebook friends that she would take flight from her perch so soon after alighting there. To boot, no mention was made today of the “for now” co-host on F&FW other than the one time Juliet simply said, “I’m Juliet Huddy in for Anna Kooiman” (at the start of the second hour).

The future of Fox & Friends Weekend may seem uncertain but its present is not. At least, for today (and tomorrow), to paraphrase Elton, FNC’s “alpha bitch” is back!** And, Anna’s gone for now.

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 11/02/13 (@ 6:01 a.m. ET).

**Ibid at @ 9:59 a.m. ET.

[Author’s aside: After the show today, Anna posted two glam pics of herself: one with her “Mama Bear” and another with both her parents.]