Bob Out Again: Juan In!

Five: About time? The Five co-host Bob Beckel, the liberal buffoon–who was “likeable enough” as former President Obama might characterize him–was fired Friday, allegedly “making an insensitive remark to an African-American” who reportedly “came to service his computer,” telling [him] that he was leaving his office because he is Black [sic]”: Ironically, unless The Five finds a fill-in, he will apparently be permanently replaced by his alternate liberal co-host, the very likable, knowledgeable African-American Juan Williams who lost his job at NPR for an allegedly “insensitive remark” about Muslims on FNC (O’Reilly Factor.) You cannot make this stuff up.

Self-admitted former substance abuser Bob was known for his cursing and crudeness on The Five but he was like the drunk on the bar stool next to you that amuses you as long as he does not spill beer on you or grab your girlfriend in a fresh fashion. But, he seemed to have a good heart as he mentored those who suffered from substance abuse.

Sometimes Bob’s tomfoolery made for good TV: But, when Juan Williams rotated in for him, the viewer wondered why Juan did not have the liberal seat full-time. In 2015, Bob was let go from The Five with former FNC honcho Bill Shine, saying, “We tried to work with Bob for months, but we couldn’t hold The Five hostage to one’s personal issues. He took tremendous advantage of our generosity, empathy and goodwill and we simply came to the end of the road with him.”  In 2017, Bob returned to the show: FNC chief Rupert Murdoch remarked, “Bob was missed by many fans of The Five and we’re happy to welcome him back to the show.

The author initially found this account re Bob highly suspect. The he remembered that Bob had referred to Chinese as “Chinamen,” a term which he understands that some consider derogatory and others may not. Regardless, it seemed to indicate an insensitivity in that regard. As to the aforementioned account re his latest termination, Bob appears to have crossed the Rubicon re racial remarks in seeming to question the ability of the IT guy because of his race.

When The Five aired later on Friday night, Bob’s name and fate were noticeably not found anywhere on the lips of his co-hosts Kimberly Guilfoyle, Jesse Watters, Dana Perino, or Greg Gutfeld. However, where Bob had last sat was predictably Juan Williams. And, presumably, he will now finally be The Five‘s resident liberal.

O’Reilly Out: Carlson In

Five replaces Carlson; Bolling replaces Five; and Watters replaces Bolling. Yesterday, FNC honcho Rupert Murdoch “caved”: Joined his boys James and Lachlan in dethroning the King of Cable Bill O’Reilly (statement)–while O’Reilly was on vacation. And, O’Reilly did not get the last word on his once eponymous show last night newly named simply The Factor.

Rather, The Factor fill-in host Dana Perino solemnly declared, “Finally, tonight, it is the end of an era here at the Fox News Channel….Bill O’Reilly is leaving this chair and this network after more than twenty years. Bill has been the undisputed king of cable news, and for good reason: He is an incredibly talented broadcaster who raised the bar for interviewers everywhere; he has also held his staff to exacting standards in his quest to put the best possible program on the air and they are great; and you his audience responded in record numbers making The Factor the number one cable news show for more than sixteen years.” Trying to soften the blow to O’Reilly’s fans further, Dana declared, “In a memo to the staff today, Rupert, James, and Lachlan Murdoch who run Fox News described Bill this way, [saying], “By ratings standards, Bill O’Reilly is one of the most accomplished TV personalities in the history of cable news. In fact, his success by any measure is indisputable. We wish him the very best.”

Even though the Murdochs recently re-signed their FNC flagship anchor and top revenue generator to an 18-million-per-year contract, they decided to  jettison O’Reilly amid the continuing allegations of sexual harassment. According to the New York Times, Fox luminaries Rebecca Gomez (2011), Laurie Dhue (2016), and Juliet Huddy (2016) have received settlements: Furthermore, reportedly, erstwhile Outnumbered regular Andrea Tantaros‘s psychologist Michele Berdy said under oath that Andrea “complained to me about recurring unwanted advances from Bill O’Reilly.” To boot, the New York Daily News reported, “On the day before he [O’Reilly] was booted, a black colleague said a leering O’Reilly shamelessly ogled her cleavage and nicknamed her ‘Hot Chocolate.'”

Not amused, O’Reilly responded to his firing, saying, “It is tremendously disheartening that we [Fox News and O’Reilly] part ways due to completely unfounded claims. But that is the unfortunate reality many of us in the public eye must live with today. I will always look back on my time at Fox with great pride in the unprecedented success we achieved and with my deepest gratitude to all my dedicated viewers.” [For full statement, link here.]

As to O’Reilly’s dedicated viewers, they will now have “a new evening and prime time lineup” according to Fox News. As of Monday (April 24),  Tucker Carlson Tonight will replace the recently renamed O’Reilly Factor (to The Factor); The Five will follow with the usual cast of Kimberly Guilfoyle, Greg Gutfeld, Dana Perino, Juan Williams, and Bob Beckel with the addition of Jesse Watters to take Eric Bolling‘s middle chair (April 24); Bolling gets his own show in the old The Five slot at 5:00 p.m. ET (May 1).

Coaxing his own Tucker Carlson Tonight viewers to make the jump to the new time last night, Tucker concluded his show saying, “There is change coming to Fox News, the channel and to this program: Starting Monday, we are moving to 8 p.m. Eastern Time. You’ve made the journey with us from 7 p.m. to 9 p.m.: We hope you’ll come along once more and join us an hour earlier.” Graciously, he aptly added, “We’ve got big shoes to fill: We’re going to do our best.”

Indeed, Tucker does have big shoes to fill: Whether O’Reilly devotees will give Tucker that chance remains to be known. And, to whether FNC fans cotton to James and Lachlan’s kinder, gentler Fox News is another issue altogether: Their father Rupert had the Midas touch with his “Mad Men” mentality. Going PC may be FNC’s folly: Alchemy in reverse.

Rude Beckel Unrepentant

Cursing & Boorish Bob: “I’m going to continue to say Comrade Trump!” Yes, The Five co-host Bob Beckel continues to show his ass to The Five fans. He certainly learned little from his liberal, articulate, and debonair successor/predecessor The Five co-host Juan Williams who exhibited real respect and class even with those with whom he disagreed.

Unsurprising, Bob had to be bleeped once in the show as his brilliant, beautiful co-host Kimberly Guilfoyle raised her hand toward her face in disgust and disbelief that Beckel was up to his old tricks again.

But, Beckel was not done. As the show ended with its “One More Thing” segment, Beckel barked, “Alright, I’m going to change my “One More Thing” here, and I’ve been yelled at already by the producer (apparently, for his bleeped expletive).”* Condescendingly to his The Five viewers, he commented, “Let me explain something about The Five. I’ve been here at the beginning and then took a sabbatical. But, this has always been an opinion show.” Looking into the camera at his detractors, Beckel retorted, “For those of you who have inundated me with how if I would get off this show, it would get a lot better. I understand that: It’s fine. I can handle that.”

Continuing his rant, Beckel bellowed, “But, let me explain something to you: If you want to go and find something that is all one way, you can go to another network. Don’t come here because I’m going to continue to say, ‘Comrade Trump’!” Interrupting Beckel as the show concluded, co-anchor Greg Gutfeld aptly shouted, “Bob, gotta go!”

And, unless Bob changes his stripes, maybe, he will once again.

[Author’s aside: Beckel’s abrasive reply to The Five fans may have also been a less than a subtle shot at the author’s Carpe Diem article entitled “Bob Beckel: Comrade Trump.”]

*The Five – 02/22/17 (@ 5:59 p.m. ET).

Perino Goes Pe-loco?

Dana accuses her Five co-host Eric Bolling of shady ethics? In a made-for-TV moment yesterday, FNC Five co-host Dana Perino became unhinged as she attacked her co-host Eric Bolling over his defense of the latest entrant to the GOP presidential race, Donald Trump. The caustic exchange left Dana glowering into the camera and a non-too-amused Eric shaking his head at her.

Dana, W’s self-professed number one fan, may just have to recuse herself from the Five for the duration of the election if she is not too careful. The former White House press secretary of President George W. Bush, apparently, can not brook the thought of any unconventional Republican standing in the way of W’s little brother Jeb!‘s ascension to the throne. Approximately, two weeks ago, she was proclaiming that Jeb! basher Senator Rand Paul had “jumped the shark” and appeared gleeful to shiv this libertarian rival on the O’Reilly Factor: Today, she was happy to wield the mace to go at Eric and, by extension, Jeb!’s lastest critic, The Donald.

Actually, it was humorous in a schadenfreude fashion. In the “A block” yesterday [FNC vid], Dana seemed genuinely outraged that co-anchor Kimberly Guilfoyle and Eric would take the flamboyant billionaire seriously, especially, as to his saying he would build a southern border wall and make Mexico pay it.

In her “A block” segment, Kimberly said that Trump was adopting the “Walmart/Kmart approach” by getting the U.S. to “charge everybody for everything” to “make a profit in America”: Chiming in, Eric endorsed The Donald’s take on getting tough on Mexico (among other countries) and said that he was making the other candidates think. In response, Dana was aghast: Haltingly, she sputtered, “I don’t know what to say.”

Derisively, Dana remarked, “I understand…[that]…it feels good to hear that a President of the United States is going to bring back all of our jobs from China and Japan [but] it is so divorced from reality. As Eric turned toward her, she seemingly took a shot at him, saying, “I think you got to take this more seriously: At least, I do! And, I, I’m surprised at some of the people who actually think that some of this would work, especially, given that their other positions are that, for example, executive actions are not something that we should have; we should not have an imperial Presidency.”

Subsequently, co-hosts Greg Gutfeld and Juan Williams gave their takes, respectively, reducing Trump to an exemplar of hubris and showmanship. When Eric came to Trump’s defense, Juan rejoined, “If you’re a serious Republican, do you think that you are helped with him by having him on the same stage with you?” Eric exclaimed, “Yes! No, no: I don’t think you’re helped personally but I think the America people are helped because now they have to address some of the things that Donald Trump addresses that these guys [other candidates] don’t want to talk about.”

Jumping in, Dana scornfully asked, “[D]o you actually think that…the moderator [in a GOP debate] should say, ‘Mr. Rubio, Trump says that he is going to bring back all of the jobs from China: How do you respond?’ And, like all of the candidates are supposed to respond to that!” Then she snarked, “How actually is Donald Trump’s [sic] going to bring all of the jobs from China!”

Subsequently, turning to Eric, Dana acerbically queried, “How would you answer…’how you would bring all the jobs back from China?'” Eric replied, “First of all, I don’t that Donald ever said that he would bring back all of the jobs from China: But, he, he certainly would bring back some of the jobs from China.”

Outraged at Eric’s impertinence, Dana shouted, “He said it in his speech yesterday!” Accusatorily, she stuttered, “no, th, th, that, covering up for him is actually wrong! And, I understand that you have a deal that you’re trying to work on with him. I saw the Twitter last night! I just don’t see how that’s how any other journalist would be pandering.”

Incredulous, Eric replied, “I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

Pointing her finger at Eric, Dana riposted, “Well, you said that you’ve been trying to close the deal for years to be on Celebrity Apprentice!”

As Greg cackled in the background, Eric replied, “Oh, my god, Dana!…I have been friendly with Donald Trump for fifteen years!” Scowling, Dana answered, “You’re the one who was shouting it from the rooftop yesterday!” Agitated all the more, Eric asked, “Are you actually saying that you are going to accuse me of saying that Donald Trump has some good ideas that are resonating with America because I want to be on Celebrity Apprentice?  Please tell me that’s not the case!”

Glowering at Eric, Dana barked, “I am saying that!”

In reply, Eric snapped, “I will tell you unequivocally that is not the case! I can’t be on Celebrity Apprentice anyway: I’m a host at Fox News. I’m not allowed to!…Seven years ago, Donald Trump came to Fox and said, Hey! Can he be on it? And, the boss said, ‘no he can’t!'”

Defending Eric’s honor, Kimberly chimed in saying, “He did ask!”

Still enraged at Dana’s slight, Eric exclaimed, “By the way, by the way, Dana, Dana, Dana, I have way more ethics…than to use this platform which I love!” When Kimberly tried to wrap her segment to end the acrimony, Eric sharply answered, “Stop!” Finishing his point, he said, “I love dearly this Five: I do! I was here from day one, and I hope to be day last!”

Caustically, Dana interrupted, “Oh, guess what! So was I!”

Ending the segment, Kimberly exclaimed, “I’ve had enough! Go to your rooms!”

Clearly ticked, Eric uttered, “Wow!”

As the final shot ended, an angry Dana glowered anew and a miffed Eric shook his head.

Calling into question Eric’s ethics, Dana? Wow! President George W. Bush, this is not your dad’s “kinder and gentler” FNC.

[Author’s aside: After the Five yesterday, Trump Tweeted, “Dear @kimguilfoyle, Thank you so much for your nice words today on @TheFive. Will not be forgotten!” The author has a feeling that Dana’s words may not be forgotten either.]

Dash’s Afternoon Delight: “PILF”?

Stacey: I wasn’t kicking [him out of bed]. The Five guest co-host Stacey Dash may be conservative but she seems to have a soft spot for probable Democratic candidate Hillary Clinton’s hubby. Recently, on Outnumbered, she racily posited that if Hillary were elected President that Bill’s title should be “PILF.”

In a segment Friday (on the Clinton Foundation fundrasing), she upped the ante (during a segment on Hillary’s possible problems re Clinton Foundation fundraising). When Five co-host Juan Williams mused that supporters of potential Hillary opponent, Elizabeth Warren, would wonder what Hillary was doing in bed with all of the big money companies, Five co-anchor Greg Gutfeld jested, “It should be interesting: She’s in bed with the companies, and Bill’s in bed with the company.”* Turning to Stacey, Juan joked, “No. But Stacey’s kicking him out of bed! Oh, no, no, that was Obama!”  Shaking her head no, Stacey smiling responded, “I wasn’t kicking [Bill out of bed].

Chuckling naughtily, Five co-anchor Kimberly Guilfoyle chimed in, “Clinton will be knocking at the door!”

*The Five – 02/21/15 (@ 5:24 p.m. ET).

Sexy Kimberly Guilfoyle’s “Basic Instinct”

Juan Williams: “Wait! Wait! You’re distracting him!” Saucy Kimberly Guilfoyle scored on more than a few levels with her Five co-hosts and fans in her “bowdlerized” Basic Instinct display of last week. As Kimberly revealed her dominance in b’ball on Friday (06/07/13), she brought “rowwr power” to a whole new level.

In the Five segment designed to showcase the co-anchors shot-making prowess–or lack thereof (a la toddler Titus Ashby’s shellacking of Shaq on Jimmy Kimmel) co-hosts Kimberly, Juan, Eric Bolling, Andrea Tantaros and fill-in Brian Kilmeade took turns at throwing mini-basketballs at a small toy goal.* Starting off their friendly rivalry to see who could score the most points in twenty seconds, Brian supplied several balls to Kimberly. As the short-skirted lovely began to lob them at the basket with much success, Brian scurried to and fro to deliver them back to San Francisco’s comely former first lady.

Clapping enthusiastically, an adoring Juan exclaimed, “Yeah, Kimberly! Oh! Oh! Go, Kimberly, go! Rack ’em up!” As Kimberly eagerly scrambled for the balls and gave viewers and Brian a PG-rated Basic Instinct, she was given more than double the time that she had been actually allotted. As Kimberly began to score with alacrity, literally and figuratively, Five rival beauty Andrea exclaimed, “Who’s keeping score?”

Subsequently, an apparently addled Juan threw more than a few air balls in his ill-fated attempt to match Kimberly. When former Pittsburg Pirate draftee Eric Bolling tried to get his “game on,” comely Kimberly kicked her right gam up Rockette-style. Pointing to his gorgeous colleague, an ardent Juan declared, “Wait! Wait! You’re distracting him! You can’t kick your legs to distract him!”

Apparently, Kimberly must have done so. As Eric completed his feckless effort, Kimberly pulled her hiked skirt back down and raised her hands in triumph, exclaiming, “Oh, yeah! Wooh, hooh!” Subsequently, when Andrea begin her successful distaff attempt, Kimberly shouted, “Go! Girls rule! Yeah!” And, they did.

Futilely, sports guy Brian tried to compete thereafter with little success. When he had finished, he queried, “Do we have a winner, control room?” After the producers seemingly whispered in his ear, Brian declared, “Kimberly and Andrea have tied.” Apparently, abandoning his formerly “so hot” Andrea for the moment, Juan raised Kimberly’s hand high in the air in victory, proclaiming her “the champ.”

Sexy Kimberly Guilfoyle: “The girl [just] can’t help it!”

*The Five – 06/08/13 @5:40 p.m. ET (Saturday re-airing of prior day)

[Author’s aside: Sorry, CR readers for the delay: “Cleaning Out My Closet.”