Bob Out Again: Juan In!

Five: About time? The Five co-host Bob Beckel, the liberal buffoon–who was “likeable enough” as former President Obama might characterize him–was fired Friday, allegedly “making an insensitive remark to an African-American” who reportedly “came to service his computer,” telling [him] that he was leaving his office because he is Black [sic]”: Ironically, unless The Five finds a fill-in, he will apparently be permanently replaced by his alternate liberal co-host, the very likable, knowledgeable African-American Juan Williams who lost his job at NPR for an allegedly “insensitive remark” about Muslims on FNC (O’Reilly Factor.) You cannot make this stuff up.

Self-admitted former substance abuser Bob was known for his cursing and crudeness on The Five but he was like the drunk on the bar stool next to you that amuses you as long as he does not spill beer on you or grab your girlfriend in a fresh fashion. But, he seemed to have a good heart as he mentored those who suffered from substance abuse.

Sometimes Bob’s tomfoolery made for good TV: But, when Juan Williams rotated in for him, the viewer wondered why Juan did not have the liberal seat full-time. In 2015, Bob was let go from The Five with former FNC honcho Bill Shine, saying, “We tried to work with Bob for months, but we couldn’t hold The Five hostage to one’s personal issues. He took tremendous advantage of our generosity, empathy and goodwill and we simply came to the end of the road with him.”  In 2017, Bob returned to the show: FNC chief Rupert Murdoch remarked, “Bob was missed by many fans of The Five and we’re happy to welcome him back to the show.

The author initially found this account re Bob highly suspect. The he remembered that Bob had referred to Chinese as “Chinamen,” a term which he understands that some consider derogatory and others may not. Regardless, it seemed to indicate an insensitivity in that regard. As to the aforementioned account re his latest termination, Bob appears to have crossed the Rubicon re racial remarks in seeming to question the ability of the IT guy because of his race.

When The Five aired later on Friday night, Bob’s name and fate were noticeably not found anywhere on the lips of his co-hosts Kimberly Guilfoyle, Jesse Watters, Dana Perino, or Greg Gutfeld. However, where Bob had last sat was predictably Juan Williams. And, presumably, he will now finally be The Five‘s resident liberal.

O’Reilly Out: Carlson In

Five replaces Carlson; Bolling replaces Five; and Watters replaces Bolling. Yesterday, FNC honcho Rupert Murdoch “caved”: Joined his boys James and Lachlan in dethroning the King of Cable Bill O’Reilly (statement)–while O’Reilly was on vacation. And, O’Reilly did not get the last word on his once eponymous show last night newly named simply The Factor.

Rather, The Factor fill-in host Dana Perino solemnly declared, “Finally, tonight, it is the end of an era here at the Fox News Channel….Bill O’Reilly is leaving this chair and this network after more than twenty years. Bill has been the undisputed king of cable news, and for good reason: He is an incredibly talented broadcaster who raised the bar for interviewers everywhere; he has also held his staff to exacting standards in his quest to put the best possible program on the air and they are great; and you his audience responded in record numbers making The Factor the number one cable news show for more than sixteen years.” Trying to soften the blow to O’Reilly’s fans further, Dana declared, “In a memo to the staff today, Rupert, James, and Lachlan Murdoch who run Fox News described Bill this way, [saying], “By ratings standards, Bill O’Reilly is one of the most accomplished TV personalities in the history of cable news. In fact, his success by any measure is indisputable. We wish him the very best.”

Even though the Murdochs recently re-signed their FNC flagship anchor and top revenue generator to an 18-million-per-year contract, they decided to  jettison O’Reilly amid the continuing allegations of sexual harassment. According to the New York Times, Fox luminaries Rebecca Gomez (2011), Laurie Dhue (2016), and Juliet Huddy (2016) have received settlements: Furthermore, reportedly, erstwhile Outnumbered regular Andrea Tantaros‘s psychologist Michele Berdy said under oath that Andrea “complained to me about recurring unwanted advances from Bill O’Reilly.” To boot, the New York Daily News reported, “On the day before he [O’Reilly] was booted, a black colleague said a leering O’Reilly shamelessly ogled her cleavage and nicknamed her ‘Hot Chocolate.'”

Not amused, O’Reilly responded to his firing, saying, “It is tremendously disheartening that we [Fox News and O’Reilly] part ways due to completely unfounded claims. But that is the unfortunate reality many of us in the public eye must live with today. I will always look back on my time at Fox with great pride in the unprecedented success we achieved and with my deepest gratitude to all my dedicated viewers.” [For full statement, link here.]

As to O’Reilly’s dedicated viewers, they will now have “a new evening and prime time lineup” according to Fox News. As of Monday (April 24),  Tucker Carlson Tonight will replace the recently renamed O’Reilly Factor (to The Factor); The Five will follow with the usual cast of Kimberly Guilfoyle, Greg Gutfeld, Dana Perino, Juan Williams, and Bob Beckel with the addition of Jesse Watters to take Eric Bolling‘s middle chair (April 24); Bolling gets his own show in the old The Five slot at 5:00 p.m. ET (May 1).

Coaxing his own Tucker Carlson Tonight viewers to make the jump to the new time last night, Tucker concluded his show saying, “There is change coming to Fox News, the channel and to this program: Starting Monday, we are moving to 8 p.m. Eastern Time. You’ve made the journey with us from 7 p.m. to 9 p.m.: We hope you’ll come along once more and join us an hour earlier.” Graciously, he aptly added, “We’ve got big shoes to fill: We’re going to do our best.”

Indeed, Tucker does have big shoes to fill: Whether O’Reilly devotees will give Tucker that chance remains to be known. And, to whether FNC fans cotton to James and Lachlan’s kinder, gentler Fox News is another issue altogether: Their father Rupert had the Midas touch with his “Mad Men” mentality. Going PC may be FNC’s folly: Alchemy in reverse.

Rude Beckel Unrepentant

Cursing & Boorish Bob: “I’m going to continue to say Comrade Trump!” Yes, The Five co-host Bob Beckel continues to show his ass to The Five fans. He certainly learned little from his liberal, articulate, and debonair successor/predecessor The Five co-host Juan Williams who exhibited real respect and class even with those with whom he disagreed.

Unsurprising, Bob had to be bleeped once in the show as his brilliant, beautiful co-host Kimberly Guilfoyle raised her hand toward her face in disgust and disbelief that Beckel was up to his old tricks again.

But, Beckel was not done. As the show ended with its “One More Thing” segment, Beckel barked, “Alright, I’m going to change my “One More Thing” here, and I’ve been yelled at already by the producer (apparently, for his bleeped expletive).”* Condescendingly to his The Five viewers, he commented, “Let me explain something about The Five. I’ve been here at the beginning and then took a sabbatical. But, this has always been an opinion show.” Looking into the camera at his detractors, Beckel retorted, “For those of you who have inundated me with how if I would get off this show, it would get a lot better. I understand that: It’s fine. I can handle that.”

Continuing his rant, Beckel bellowed, “But, let me explain something to you: If you want to go and find something that is all one way, you can go to another network. Don’t come here because I’m going to continue to say, ‘Comrade Trump’!” Interrupting Beckel as the show concluded, co-anchor Greg Gutfeld aptly shouted, “Bob, gotta go!”

And, unless Bob changes his stripes, maybe, he will once again.

[Author’s aside: Beckel’s abrasive reply to The Five fans may have also been a less than a subtle shot at the author’s Carpe Diem article entitled “Bob Beckel: Comrade Trump.”]

*The Five – 02/22/17 (@ 5:59 p.m. ET).

Bob Beckel: “Comrade Trump”

Showing his backside once again. Bring back Juan! Five co-host Bob Beckel once again showed his uncivil side by referring to the President of the United States as Comrade Trump during a discussion of POTUS’ pick of Lt. General H. R. McMaster as national security advisor. Proclaiming the general a “real hero during the Desert War,” he then acerbically remarked, “He’s known as a fiscal hawk; I mean, he wants to spend a lot of money as does Comrade Trump.”* Chastening her disrespectful colleague, co-anchor Dana Perino exclaimed, “Bob!” Echoing Dana’s reproof, co-host Kimberly Guilfoyle chided, “Bob!” Turning to Bob, co-anchor Eric Bolling upbraided him, saying, “Can we just, can we stop with Comrade Trump? Can we do it?” Responding in an unusually surly fashion, Bob answered, “No! No! No!”

Requesting a soupcon of civility, Eric asked, “Can we just, just for right now? Can we do it?” For the man who saved his life (from choking), he replied, “For right now? Okay, for you I’ll do it for right now.” Optimistically, Eric responded, “Let’s try it one show at a time!” Unfortunately, being truthful, Bob answered, “Well, I won’t commit to that! I said it to this question.”

Bring back co-anchor Juan Williams! If Bob will not be respectful to the President of the United States of America and derides him as Comrade Trump on an FNC opinion/news show, perhaps, he should leave The Five again or get some common comity. Liberal, civil, brilliant Juan Williams can always easily fill that chair with real class.

*The Five – 02/20/16 (@ 5:03 p.m. ET).

Beckel’s Sobering Experience: A Husband’s .45

Bob: “God, I don’t know if you exist: But, if you do, it’s the last drink I’ll ever have. And, it was.” Tonight, The Five recently returned co-host Bob Beckel revealed his conversion experience of going from a drinker to a teetotaler. It was an angry husband’s .45 that did not fire.

In the “Friend Zone” segment tonight on his eponymous show, Tucker Carlson Tonight, Tucker interviewed Bob who penned his autobiography, “I Should Be Dead: My Life Surviving Politics, TV, and Addition.” To his colleague, Tucker queried, “One question I’ve never asked in you all these years, what were the circumstances of your getting sober?”* Looking away from the camera for a moment and then returning to its gaze with a mischievous smile, Bob answered, “Well, I’ll tell you, Tuck….I was at a bar in southern Maryland, a biker bar, which was the kind of place I used to hang out, trying to pick up this woman at the bar.” Elaborating, he said, “And, I had this feeling that there was something behind me. And, I turned around and there was a guy with a .45 pointed right at my face–and he pulled the trigger. It was her husband!”

Continuing, Bob explained, “And, he pulled the trigger and he had not chambered the bullet, thank God. So, somebody grabbed him from behind and the second [sic] bullet blew a three-foot hole in the ceiling. And, they threw me out in the parking lot. Just before I passed out, I said, “God, I don’t know if you exist: But, if you do, it’s the last drink I’ll ever have. And it was!…Seventeen years, six days.”

Bob Beckel: As always, colorful. Congratulations, Bob!

*Tucker Carlson Tonight – 01/25/17 (9:52 p.m. ET).

Uncensored Dana: “Fu**ing Camel”!

Greg: “Could you watch your language, young lady?” Riding a camel with her The Five co-host Greg Gutfeld, Dana Perino sounded a mite like her former co-host Bob Beckel today. In a vid clip aired from their visit to the Columbus Zoo on their bus tour to Cleveland, Ohio, for the GOP Presidential convention, Dana got somewhat salty in her language. After The Five co-anchors watched the “free-range” lions who were not to be fed according to the zookeeper’s orders to Greg, Dana mounted the dromedary and then Greg struggled mightily to get on behind her.

Bizarrely, or, perchance, after a few drinks of her fave vino, Dana unsympathetically exclaimed, “It isn’t, it’s not a fu**ing camel!”*

Chastening his usually chaste co-host on her vulgarity but not her inanity, Greg irascibly retorted, “Could you watch your language, young lady?”

Strangely, producers did not bleep out Dana’s obscenity. But, perhaps, they wanted to proclaim to viewers that Dana is no priggish prude: Rather, she can get naughty on occasion–but, probably, not quite like her comely co-anchor Kimberly Guilfoyle!

*The Five – 07/18/16 (@ 5:40 p.m. ET).

Update: J$P (Johnny Dollar’s Place) vid link: http://video.foxnews.com/v/video-embed.html?video_id=5040699610001

 

Perino: New Weekly O’Reilly Segment

O’Reilly: “Dana Perino’s top stories of the week!” Pixie pretty Five co-host Dana Perino has a new gig: Following in the tiny footsteps of her dimunitive co-anchor Greg Gutfeld, Dana  has scored a weekly segment on FNC ratings king Bill O’Reilly’s The Factor.  Bettering her little buddy (who enjoys a regular segment entitled “What the Heck Just Happened” with Imus in the Morning executive producer Bernard McGuirk), Dana has her own segment to herself.

Announcing her good news Thursday, Dana Tweeted, “So this is happening. Tonight. New weekly segment w/ @oreillyfactor where we bat around my top stories of the weeks.”

Subsequently, when The Factor aired that night, Bill began Dana’s segment, announcing, “‘Impact Segment’ tonight! Brand new segment: Dana Perino’s top stories of the week!” Introducing her, he exclaimed, “And, here she is! Co-host of The Five, Miss [sic] Perino!” Joking he added, “[Dana’s The Five co-host Bob] Beckel would never get this!”

Congratulations, Dana!

*O’Reilly Factor (second airing) – 03/19/15 (@ 11:14 p.m. ET).

Big Bad Bob Explains Brace

Five’s Beckel: “Some jerk outside starts talking about my politics.” Yesterday, The Five‘s boisterous, bumptious co-host Bob Beckel appeared on FNC anchor Howard Kurtz’s Media Buzz. And, the old New York brawler proudly explained to his Five fans that he’s not afraid to rumble–and how he got that new brace on his right hand.

Introducing his taped interview with Bob in a segment entitled “Beckel vs. The Right (vid),” Kurtz remarked, “Anyone who watches The Five knows that Bob Beckel is outnumbered on that show: The former Democratic strategist carries the liberal banner at five o’clock and has the scars to show for it. But, I had to change my first question the moment I saw him in New York.”

Subsequently, the on-vid Kurtz welcomes Bob, remarking, “I can’t help but notice that your hand is bandaged. Did you finally get fed up at the Five and take a swing at somebody?

Shaking his head with a slight smile, Bob answered, “No, I didn’t! I didn’t. Somebody gave me a little heat outside!”

Wanting his viewers to see Bob’s brace closer, Kurtz said, “Let’s see that! Let’s see it!”

Raising his right hand high in response, Bob displayed his braced and bandaged hand. Re his injury, Bob remarked, “Well, it’s, it’s like this. I mean, so I got dislocated fingers.”

Continuing his anecdote like a seasoned raconteur, Bob elaborated, “Some jerk outside starts talking about my politics: He can’t stand it, right….It happens to me all the time: But, this guy kept pushing me and pushing me and pushing me so I gave him a little tap back. And that was it. And, then I dislocated my fingers–which proves that you never want to fight, right.”

Concluding his tale with a smile, Bob declared, “And, I’m too old for this stuff, Howard! I mean…it’s no good!”

But, Bob, it does make a good story.

Eric Bolling: F&F Bully? “I’m Sorry!”

Subbing for infamous F&F “child abuser” Brian Kilmeade, Eric gives cute kid the hook–but he is sorry.* On Fox & Friends this morning, Five co-host Eric Bolling took filling in for Brian, perhaps, a bit too seriously. As F&F fans may remember, Brian made two-year-old basketball phenom Titus Ashby cry when he carelessly rebounded a basketball for the toddler and inadvertently hit him in the nose with it [vid-07/11/13)]: Today, Eric may not have made a baby boy cry but he certainly had little tolerance for one who did (i.e., one who was more than understandably agitated at having to appear on national television at the ungodly time of 4:33 a.m. PT). To wit, incredibly, he asked a sleepy-eyed, cranky California child’s mom to hand him off to someone else off camera as their interview began. Oops!

In a segment scheduled far too early for man or beast on the Pacific Coast, mommy blogger Jessica Shyba appeared with her son Beau in one arm and her puppy Theo in the other. As producers aired the now viral adorable boy/pup nap-time pics, Beau and Theo began to tussle with each other–like two playfully bellicose brothers–as Shyba struggled to keep a handle on them both. Sympathetically, co-host Steve Doocy remarked, “Jessica, if you want to put one of them down, go ahead.”

Gratefully, Shyba responded “okay” as she handed the puppy to one out of the camera’s eye. As she did, Eric exclaimed, “No! Leave that one! Put the other one down! I’m just kidding!” Perchance, sensing that he, in truth, had not been jesting, Shyba handed her baby boy Beau to the person off cam and took back the puppy. Apparently, realizing his faux pas, Eric chuckled, “Ah, I, I was just kidding. I’m sorry!”

Later, when the interview began to end, Steve kindly asked, “You want to bring Beau in one last time just  for a ‘so long,’ or is he out of the room?” Chuckling uncomfortably, Eric interjected, “Yes!” Smiling, Shyba answered, “He’s out of the room.”

Subsequently, after co-anchor Elisabeth Hasselbeck thanked Shyba, Theo, and Beau for joining the co-hosts, Steve looked over at Eric with arched eyebrows and a questioning look. Reddening, Eric protested, “I was kidding! I was teasing!” Chastening Eric, Steve riposted, “What’s the matter with you!” Concurring, Elisabeth aptly concluded, “You’re giving a mom a hard time early in the morning. That is messed up!”

*Author’s aside: Eric Bolling’s “brother” Bob Beckel gave that moniker to Brian–to his great discomfit–when he subbed on the Five shortly after Brian’s ill-thrown pass to Titus.

Five’s Beckel: Hey, Gum This, Andrea Tantaros!

Kimberly Guilfoyle: “Bob…do you know what you just said!” Today, The Five unfiltered co-host Bob Beckel took his hyper-sexual schtick to a whole new level–at the expense of his co-anchor Andrea Tantaros. When the Greek beauty tried to conclude her segment timely this afternoon (on the “Red Line in Syria”) and tease the next block, Bob babbled on: Seemingly irritated at his puerile solipsism, Andrea chided, “Bob, as my tenth grade biology teacher used to say, ‘Give the gums a rest!'”* Unrepentant, Bob bawdily riposted, “Hey, gum this!”

As a smiling Andrea tried to gamely soldier on in her segue, her aghast off-camera co-host Kimberly Guilfoyle exclaimed, “Terrible! Terrible!” Aptly, pricking the priapic Philistine further, she added, “Bob, I mean, do you know what you just said!”

The Five‘s bad boy? Nah, he probably had no clue. Yeah, right!

*The Five – 08/28/13 (@ 5:45 p.m. ET)

Oops! F&F’s All-American Summer “Scat” Series?

Unedited “Rough and Ready” (“a**hole”): Bob Beckel bumper music? Today, Fox & Friends seemingly turned their song selection over again to The Five‘s filter-intolerant co-host (the big bumptious one who seems to continuously soil FNC’s afternoon airwaves with scatalogical expletives). Last month (July 10), F&F producers carelessly closed a baseball segment to the tune of “Boys Round Here” as Blake Shelton sang “Backwoods legit, don’t take no sh*t.” Today, they one upped–or one downed–themselves: They teased an upcoming “Shot of the Day” segment to “Rough and Ready” as Trace Adkins raucously belted out, “Got a what are you looking at? A**hole smirk.”*

Strangely, no apologies were offered when F&F resumed after the commercial break. Oops: Another F&F Bob-ble!

[Author’s aside: According to HuffPo, J$P caught Bob‘s third “‘s’ word in recent memory” last Wednesday: If the author heard him correctly, Bob said it for a fourth time last Friday after hurting his hand at the close of his The Five segment (08/16/13 – @ 5:52 p.m. ET).]

*F&F – 08/19/13 (@ 8:27 a.m. ET)

Five’s Beckel Unhinged: [Medgar] Evers “Turncoat”

Oops! Bob bizarrely loses his civil rights mantle cred. Today, the proud self-proclaimed son of a “liberal who went into the South and was arrested 57 times in the civil rights movement registering blacks” and who marched with Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., evidenced an appalling lack of knowledge when it came to a pivotal chapter in the nations history. During a segment on black Louisiana state senator Elbert Guillory who changed from the Democratic party to the GOP, Beckel tried to impugn him by trying to recall another black Louisiana “turncoat.” Unfortunately, for Bob, it backfired on him, his co-hosts, and The Five.

In the Five block moderated by co-host Kimberly Guilfoyle,* Bob tried to push-back when his more conservative co-hosts, Kimberly, Eric Bolling, and Greg Gutfeld appeared to defend Guillory’s decision. Looking down, Beckel declared, “Louisiana has had a long history–and I wish [that] I could remember the name of this guy whose brother was a very well known civil rights activist who was I think a Congressman. And, this guy converted to the Republican Party because he was paid to convert to the Republican Party to sift off the votes from the Democrats.”

After further discussion with his conservative co-hosts (including Dana Perino) of Guillory, Bob errantly announced, “I just remembered the name of the guy who was, his brother became a turncoat.”

Derisively, Kimberly enjoined, “[‘C]ause the control room gave it to you in your ear?”

Struggling mightily, Bob stammered, “Megan, Meg, Megan, Malcolm Evers’ brother, Charles Evers’ brother, Malcolm…got, got paid money to go on the Republican Party to sift off votes the Democrat.”

To make matters even worse, when Greg asked, “Were you bringing, why, to denigrate this man’s brave,” Bob declared, “I didn’t deny what this guy’s, what he was saying but Louisiana has a history of doing this. They have a history of doing it!”

Unfortunately, Bob’s bluster ruled the day on the Five. Perhaps, just as embarrassing or even more so, none of his co-anchors nor F&F‘s vaunted control room challenged his addled version of the civil rights struggle–in Mississippi!

Clearly, a muddled Bob was referring to the Mississippi civil rights martyr Medgar Evers and his activist older brother Charles Evers. It was Medgar who died at the hands of Byron Beckwith for the cause in June 11, 1963, and Charles who took his place as field secretary of the MS NAACP. Subsequently, Charles became the mayor of Fayette in 1963 (and the NAACP’s “Man of the Year”); a gubernatorial candidate; a U.S. Senate candidate: And, in 1989, Charles switched his allegiance to the GOP.

Today in Bob’s world, Louisiana and Mississippi looked alike: “Megan” Evers, “Malcolm” Evers, Charles Evers, Medgar Evers were all one and the same, too. Not quite the civil rights account of which Bob’s Dad would be rightly proud. Nor should Bob, his co-hosts, or The Five suits.

*The Five – 06/19/13 (@ 5:38 p.m. ET)

Beckel Bawdy: Malkin Unamused

“Maligned” Tantaros: Don’t worry. I can handle carrots.” Five co-anchor Andrea Tantaros was almost unfazed by her co-anchor Bob Beckel who aimed his latest ribald remark squarely at her. In the penultimate segment of the Five yesterday about organic food, Andrea wielded an organic carrot and pointed it at Bob: never one to miss a moment to utter a double entendre, Bob cracked that she looked like she “could handle a hairy carrot.”* As a grinning Andrea rolled her eyes with her mouth agape in incredulity, the usually prim and proper co-anchor Dana Perino smiled and turned to co-host Eric Bolling, pleading, “Help him, Eric! Help him!”

Chuckling, Eric skillfully channeled the discussion back to the merits of organic veggies. As the segment began to conclude, Andrea, with her arms crossed in somewhat mock indignation, haltingly asked, “Are, you going to apologize?” Less than convincingly, Bob replied, “Yes, I apologize!” Grabbing a carrot from the plate, Bob protested, “But, that’s because you were waving it at my head!” As Andrea shook her head at yet another of his double entendres, Bob laughed, “My head? Whatever! I’m sorry!”

Clueless or wickedly clever, Dana interposed, “You remember the boneless chicken ranch?…The Far Side cartoon, Gary Larson did a thing about the boneless chicken ranch and the chickens were all like this [her head limp] over the fence.” Looking at Dana with a goatish gleam, an unrepentant Bob declared, “I’ve been to the Chicken Ranch [brothel (NSW)] in…Las Vegas. That sort of reminds me of a night of drinking.”

With her arms still crossed, Andrea acerbically announced, “That’s [a la boneless chicken necks] how you are going to be after this show!” Raising his voice, Bob riposted, “Alright, will you take it easy? You’re the one who talked about my–never mind!” Giggling, Andrea shook her anew at her bumbling, bumptious Bob.

Soon after the show, indignant Twitchy.com founder Michelle Malkin Tweeted, “NOT breaking: Bob Beckel said something sexually degrading and misogynist. And will get away with it. Again.” [Cf. Twitchy.com‘s “Gross: Serial misogynist Bob Beckel directs vulgar remark at Andrea Tantaros.” Seemingly, in response, Andrea Pooh-poohed the matter [comparing it to Brent Musburger’s BCS Miss Alabama mutterings], jesting, “Don’t worry. I can handle carrots, in fact so well that I hit Bob with them off screen. He’s applying for a job at ESPN as we speak.”

Apparently, Bob will be Bob. And, Andrea appears okay with that. Michelle? Not so much.

*The Five – 01/08/12 (@ 5:52 a.m. ET)

Bob Beckel: “Did the Beeper Work?”

[That’s] what I’m really worried about.” B***s***? The Five fell strangely silent today during a “live” segment for approximately eleven seconds–with no explanation.* Displacing its polemic panel, an ominous “The Five” star graphic atop a blue background appeared suddenly onscreen. The ghost of Mrs. Grundy?

During this segment, his segment, co-host Eric Bolling posited that “President Obama a/k/a Mr. Transparent [was] rope-a-dope[ing] the press when asked about the Petraeus affair.” When guest co-anchor K.T. McFarland and co-host Bob Beckel began to debate whether President Obama was availing himself of “plausible deniability,” Eric acerbically interjected, “What you really don’t want is the President of the United States to lie, in fact.” Without warning nor explanation, the audio was muted and the screen went blue (with “The Five” star).

After about twelve seconds had elapsed, The Five co-hosts reappeared seemingly tacitly attesting to the rude interruption: Kimberly Guilfoyle laughed as she hid her face in her left hand; Greg Gutfeld chuckled to himself and looked over at Bob in amusement; K.T.  tried to keep her composure as she looked straight ahead and blinked her eyes rapidly; Bob looked into the distance with his mouth agape; and Eric appeared to try to read the teleprompter with feigned gravity.

After praising the military who stood apart from their perchance rogue rakish leaders, Eric seemed to question the credibility of the sexy socialite Jill Kelly who allegedly ignited the inquery and laughing asked roue Bob if he had ever known such an “honorary consul general.” Looking over at Eric, Bob jested, “What I’m really concerned about is did the beeper work?”

Apparently, loathe to acknowledge that The Five might not be exactly live anymore, Eric monotoned, “Did the beeper work?” Slightly smiling, Bob anwered, “Yeah.” Softly, Kimberly unconvincingly interposed, “No.”

Then, as if a producer had whispered in her ear to change the topic posthaste, Kimberly animatedly stammered, “Listen! The beep, this is a woman that I thing we’re going to learn a lot more about.” Tellingly, Greg glanced at the panel bemusedly, chuckled to himself, and beamed back at someone offset.

In the following segment, Greg appeared to translucently reveal the secret of the censored segment. Re President Obama’s view of whether climate change caused Hurricane Sandy, Greg defiantly declared, “He even admits finally  that that’s baloney–or b.s.!”** As Greg began to address Bob, a chuckling Eric looked up from his papers, exclaiming, “Don’t say it!”

Don’t say it indeed, Bob. At least, on air!

*The Five – 11/14/12 (@ 5:19 a.m. ET).

**Ibid at @ 5:29 a.m. ET.

“Free…P*ssy”: Beckel Apologizes to GOP Chair

Bob: “By the way.” Today, The Five co-host Bob Beckel returned to FNC’s hit show after serving an apparent one-day suspension for calling GOP National Chairmain Reince Preibus a “free…p*ssy” Monday. In an “ad lib” during an “Obama vs. Romney” discussion segment, Bob revealed, “By the way, I talked to the chairman of the Republican National Committee  to tell him I was sorry for what I said.”*

“Bob’s Swear Jar”: a Romney contribution? He may be sorry. But, probably, not that sorry.

*Fox & Friends – 08/10/12 (video – 8:49/10:17)

“Free P*ssy” Penalty: Bob Beckel Apologizes

“I’m very sorry….I’m gonna be quiet now.” Today, The Five co-host Bob Beckel apologized for his “foul” mouth and announced that he would be having the day off tomorrow because of it. As Carpe Diem reported Monday, an apoplectic Bob incoherently stammered “free, pre p*ssy” when he was defending President Obama’s purported disdain for his GOP opponent Mitt Romney. (A day later, after reviewing Johnny Dollar’s video of the incident, HuffPo aptly opined that Bob was “referring to…Reince Preibus,” the GOP National Chairman.)

This afternoon, during the final Five segment, a chastened Bob declared, “My ‘one more thing’ is to say, ‘I’m off tomorrow and that’s going to make me happy and…a lot of conservatives out there happy. I need a break because lately on this show…my mouth has been moving a little bit too much and sometimes dumb things–which is surprising for a MENSA guy–comes [sic] out of it.”

As his co-host Eric Bolling laughed off camera, Bob continued, “Last night when I was checking Twitter, I saw that some people out there were offended by something I said.”

Then, raising his palms in a mea culpa, Bob declared, “Now, I’m not going to say it again but I want to say to those who were offended, ‘I’m very sorry.’ That’s the last you’re going to hear that. I’m going to be quiet now.” Announcing anew Fox News’ apparent one-day sanction, Bob added, “I’ll see you on Friday.”

Apoplectic Bob Beckel: “Free…P*ssy”

Eric Bolling: “Let’s move on.” Let’s not: If it were free, The Five co-host Bob Beckel might make for a much less colorful “Smoking Gun” Democratic rogue. But, fear not! The bad boy of FNC can not or will not keeps his wild ways under control.

Less than four months ago, Bob went off with an “f” bomb inadvertently on Hannity. In what he deemed an off-air moment, he lambasted a conservative panelist, saying, “You don’t know what the f**k you’re talking about.” When host Sean Hannity apprised him that they were live, Bob appeared to be in a state of disbelief. Finally, coming to his senses, Bob groused that he was going to be fired after the show.

Bob was not. But, today, he pushed the envelope even further. In a segment including President Barack Obama’s purported disdain for his GOP opponent Mitt Romney (“no g**damned war hero”) as noted by Politico‘s Mike Allen, co-host Eric caustically queried, “Bob, should President Obama be taking shots at Mitt Romney’s military service when…the guy never picked up a gun, pulled the trigger of…blew anyone away? Oh, wait a minute, that’s right, he shot bin Laden, right!”*

After initially calling into question Allen’s assertion, Bob remarked, “Does he [President Obama] not like Mitt Romney?…When he started out, he said [that] he was neutral about Mitt Romney. And, frankly, so was I. I thought he was a nice guy.”

Elaborating, Bob remarked, “I’ve come to believe [that] he is a terrible, uh, a terrible–I won’t say liar because I won’t, because I don’t want to diminish myself down where Republicans [are].

Unfortunately, continuing, a suddenly incoherent Bob stammered, “Or, free, pre p*ssy, for proof of pre pro puss. Excuse me! Pre puss.”

Throwing him a lifeline, Eric mercifully interjected, “Let’s move on.” Bemused, co-anchor Andrea Tantaros beamed broadly and shook her head at Bob latest blooper. Meanwhile, co-host Kimberly Guilfoyle laughed heartily as she hid her face in her hands.

Babbling Bob: a sight to behold–for better or for worse.

*The Five – 08/06/12 (@ 5:07 p.m. ET)

Update: Vid (courtesy of J$P).

Dana Perino: “Little Hooters”

“I would never get a job at [Hooters].” The Five co-host Dana Perino showed her saltier side early this week: on Tuesday, President Bush’s rather prim and proper Press Secretary discussed her less than bountiful bosom with uncharacteristic aplomb.* Bawdily, she posited that she could not get a job at Hooters but that she could–at Little Hooters.

During a Five segment Tuesday (transcript), the co-anchors Dana, Greg Gutfeld, Bob Beckel, Andrea Tantaros, and Eric Bolling conversed about a coffee chain being investigated for hiring mainly nubile beauties. As they spoke of various businesses doing likewise, Greg teased Dana, asking, “Dana, unlike me, you’re not gorgeous: Do you feel like you’ve lost out on many TV jobs because of this?”

Self-deprecatingly, Dana riposted, “Let’s give another example–Hooters: I would never get a job there. And there’s a reason.”

Feigning ignorance, Greg impishly replied, “I can’t even ask why.”

Seemingly, somewhat piqued at Greg’s impertinence, Dana responded, “We all know why. Okay? And, I wouldn’t apply either.”

When it was co-host Bob Beckel’s turn to weigh in on the “hotness” hiring controversy, of course, the old goat had to rib Dana all the more: he racily insisted, “Dana, you could have gotten [sic] hired at Hooters if you wanted to.”

Jauntily, Dana rejoined, “Little Hooters.”**

Dana, “Little Hooters”? Maybe. But, you are proving yourself to be one big hoot.

[Author’s aside: When the segment began to conclude, co-anchor Eric Bolling aptly added, “The only thing that’s worthy to get pick[ed] up on by media is ‘I could work at Little Hooters.'”]

*Red Eye – 07/24/12 (approximately 3:35 a.m. ET)

**N.B. LexisNexis News improperly attributes the “Little Hooters” remark to Andrea. However, its transcript evinces the error as it subsequently details Greg’s reply, “That sounds like a restaurant for kids” and Dana’s facetious response, “That’s what I meant.” Furthermore, the Five footage will reflect that fact.

Fox & Friends First: “The Four” Now?

Patti Ann Brown, Ainsley Earhardt, Heather Childers, and Heather Nauert. Possibly, following in the footsteps of The Five, Fox & Friends First may be whittling down its number of initial hosts. As readers may recall, FNC announced the debut of The Five and listed ten rotating co-anchors including the current seven and Monica Crowley, Geraldo Rivera, and Judge Andrew Napolitano: When the Five celebrated its first anniversary last Monday on Fox & Friends, F&F co-anchor Gretchen Carlson noted that its roster had been pared down to seven (the “Magnificent Seven”), i.e., Greg Gutfeld, Kimberly Guilfoyle, Bob Beckel, Andrea Tantaros, Dana Perino, Juan Williams, and Eric Bolling.

In a similar fashion, Fox & Friends First started its new run in March with a slate of co-hosts that included not only the four that seem to be now predominating F&FF airplay qua anchors, i.e., Patti Ann Brown, Ainsley Earhardt, Heather Childers, and Heather Nauert but also Dave Briggs, Juliet Huddy, Julie Banderas, Anna Kooiman, Clayton Morris, Arthel Neville, and Jamie Colby. Even though the author has heard no new F&FF announcement, it’s website may provide a hint: only Patti Ann, Ainsley, and the two Heathers have their FNC bios listed on the official F&FF website.

F&FF Acknowledges Williams/Malkin Dustup BUT

Fox & Friends ignores it altogether. Last night, conservative FNC contributor Michele Malkin and liberal Five co-anchor Juan Williams got into a fiery debate last night on Hannity: this morning, Fox News’ earliest morning news show Fox & Friends First showcased the two going after each other (albeit a bit bowdlerized to exclude the more acidic comments) whereas the regular Fox & Friends did not mention the dust-up even though both Williams and Malkin both appeared on the show in different segments. Perhaps, FNC did not want to throw too much gas on those smoldering embers.

Apparently, according to Mediaite, the verbal fisticuffs began when Malkin mocked Williams and other liberals for blaming former POTUS Bush 43 for President Obama’s shortcomings during a debate segment about Attorney General Eric Holder. During their polemics, Malkin taunted Williams, saying, “All you can do, Juan, is say Plame, Plame, Plame, and blame, blame, blame, Bush, Bush, Bush.” Caustically, Williams exclaimed, “Listen, I tell you what. I tell you what, Michele. I’m a real reporter. I’m not a blogger out in the blogosphere somewhere.”

Then, as Williams began to make his case that the White House had not leaked any classified information, an irate Malkin interrupted, “Right…I’m not a real reporter and you are!” Subsequently, after Williams and eponymous host Sean Hannity had argued about the matter further, Hannity gave Malkin the “last word.” Still fuming, Malkin acerbically remarked, “The American people are sick of the kind of snotty condescension from liberal elite journalists like Juan Williams who tell us that the rest of us are not doing our jobs, when the point is that…when Eric Holder was shamefully…nominated and approved to be Attorney General, he already had a long record of bastardizing national security and the rule of law.”

Unamused, Williams responded that she was way off topic; that she and Hannity were just beating up Holder and that the matter did not even include classified documents. In a parting shot, a still fuming Malkin sniped, “So, real journalists are apologists for corruptocracy? We got it!” Derisively, Williams exclaimed, “Oh, my gosh!” as he put both his hands to his head and rolled his eyes.

It was must see TV: Or, it should have been. However, unfortunately, Fox & Friends producers decided not to share the testy exchange between FNC colleagues Williams and Malkin. Happily, for F&F fans who may have missed it, Mediaite columnist Frances Martel did so in an article and via a concomitant video (link).

Update:  Williams’ co-host Five co-anchor Bob Beckel blasted Malkin with almost ominous rhetoric in his appearance on Imus today. Opining on the purported White House leaks, an enraged Beckel declared, “The idea that Barack Obama would leak that stuff is absolutely obscene. And, anybody who’d suggest that like that Michelle Malkin who…if I were Juan…I’d wake up next to her with a shotgun. She’s a, what a waste of time!” [@2:17 in J$P video] H/t, Johnny!