F&FF Acknowledges Williams/Malkin Dustup BUT

Fox & Friends ignores it altogether. Last night, conservative FNC contributor Michele Malkin and liberal Five co-anchor Juan Williams got into a fiery debate last night on Hannity: this morning, Fox News’ earliest morning news show Fox & Friends First showcased the two going after each other (albeit a bit bowdlerized to exclude the more acidic comments) whereas the regular Fox & Friends did not mention the dust-up even though both Williams and Malkin both appeared on the show in different segments. Perhaps, FNC did not want to throw too much gas on those smoldering embers.

Apparently, according to Mediaite, the verbal fisticuffs began when Malkin mocked Williams and other liberals for blaming former POTUS Bush 43 for President Obama’s shortcomings during a debate segment about Attorney General Eric Holder. During their polemics, Malkin taunted Williams, saying, “All you can do, Juan, is say Plame, Plame, Plame, and blame, blame, blame, Bush, Bush, Bush.” Caustically, Williams exclaimed, “Listen, I tell you what. I tell you what, Michele. I’m a real reporter. I’m not a blogger out in the blogosphere somewhere.”

Then, as Williams began to make his case that the White House had not leaked any classified information, an irate Malkin interrupted, “Right…I’m not a real reporter and you are!” Subsequently, after Williams and eponymous host Sean Hannity had argued about the matter further, Hannity gave Malkin the “last word.” Still fuming, Malkin acerbically remarked, “The American people are sick of the kind of snotty condescension from liberal elite journalists like Juan Williams who tell us that the rest of us are not doing our jobs, when the point is that…when Eric Holder was shamefully…nominated and approved to be Attorney General, he already had a long record of bastardizing national security and the rule of law.”

Unamused, Williams responded that she was way off topic; that she and Hannity were just beating up Holder and that the matter did not even include classified documents. In a parting shot, a still fuming Malkin sniped, “So, real journalists are apologists for corruptocracy? We got it!” Derisively, Williams exclaimed, “Oh, my gosh!” as he put both his hands to his head and rolled his eyes.

It was must see TV: Or, it should have been. However, unfortunately, Fox & Friends producers decided not to share the testy exchange between FNC colleagues Williams and Malkin. Happily, for F&F fans who may have missed it, Mediaite columnist Frances Martel did so in an article and via a concomitant video (link).

Update:  Williams’ co-host Five co-anchor Bob Beckel blasted Malkin with almost ominous rhetoric in his appearance on Imus today. Opining on the purported White House leaks, an enraged Beckel declared, “The idea that Barack Obama would leak that stuff is absolutely obscene. And, anybody who’d suggest that like that Michelle Malkin who…if I were Juan…I’d wake up next to her with a shotgun. She’s a, what a waste of time!” [@2:17 in J$P video] H/t, Johnny!

Ali & Kiran’s Tale: Busted?

Oops! Stephanie didn’t get the American Morning memo today. Fresh from her vacation in Puerto Rico, CNN biz beauty Stephanie Elam returned to the AM set today to report on the government shutdown. Unfortunately, for her AM colleagues, Ali Velshi and Kiran Chetry, she had not received that AM “e-mail” as to Ali’s ad libs.

In her mid-show segment this morning, Stephanie dutifully reported on “government & private workers who’ll be hurt by  [a federal government] shutdown.” After her story, Ali emphasized that, unlike governmental workers who would recoup their lost wages, businesses that catered to spring tourists simply lost their seasonal earnings.

Enthusiastically, Stephanie agreed, “They don’t get it back! That’s just lost. And, this is the beginning, especially like D.C.” Elaborating, she added, “Cherry blossoms–I went to school in D.C.–love it! That is like the best time and people come to see that every year. It’s a beautiful time.”

Concurring, Kiran (Gaithersburg, MD native and Terp alum), interjected, “I know. Me, too…It’s a huge draw. Huge draw!”

Turning to Kiran to make his point more poignantly, Ali proclaimed, “We were actually planning a little trip down there for cherry blossoms.” Looking back at Stephanie, he groused, “But, now if the government shuts down, we’re not gonna have that trip.”

Eying Ali quizzically, Stephanie glanced down at her notes and then back up at him, querying, “You’re not? Was I invited to this trip?” Seeming to sense that her friend and colleague Ali might need to be aided–and, perhaps, even abetted–Kiran nodded emphatically at Stephanie and exclaimed, “Yes!” Echoing his helpful co-host, a stone-faced Aly shook his head but once and unconvincingly uttered, “Yeah.”

Still puzzled, Stephanie looked at Kiran. In response, Kiran explained, “It was on an e-mail that we sent a week ago.” Then, she appeared to give Stephanie a knowing eye and a telling smile.

Meanwhile, Ali pursed his lips and licked them as Kiran spoke. Seeming to realize that his apparently apocyrphal anecdote had been exposed, he jested, “Yeah, it’s a class trip!” Laughing, Kiran chimed (to Stephanie), “It may have been in your spam box.”

Perhaps, that’s what happened to John Roberts’ AM e-mail, too, when he gainsayed Kiran on the Imus Show a few weeks ago. Oh, wait! John probably no longer has his Turner account.

American Morning – 04/08/11 (@ 7:28 a.m. ET)

Chris’ “Cowgirl” Fantasy?

Palin, now Pickler: Gretchen jealous? After Fox & Friends co-host Gretchen Carlson excited him almost two years ago with her black cowboy hat and Kinky Friedman cigar, Fox News Sunday host Chris Wallace seems to have fallen prey to that “wanton” country girl fantasy. First, there was Gretchen; second, there was Sarah Palin; and, yesterday, it was country star Kellie Pickler. Mediaite deemed the latest instance “creepy” but it just seemed like the latest “Wallace wandering” to the author.

With regard to Gretchen, as long-time Fox & Friends fans may remember, Chris, in a similar FNS promo for his show on July 25, 2008, was so taken with Gretchen in her cowgirl getup, supra, that he flirted, ““Let me just say…I was thinking how to clean this up. Gretchen when you were wearing that cowboy hat and smoking that cigar you looked very fetching!” Subsequently, when she teased him with a seductive pose, he panted, “Oh! Mama! You should take that home for your husband tonight.” The sexual tension was such that F&F co-anchor Brian Kilmeade interjected, “Hey, Chris! Is there a shower in that studio?”

[Apparently, Chris got in trouble with the wife, Mrs. Wallace over that episode. Approximately, three months later, during a FNS promo on Halloween Day, Gretchen teased Chris about liking “cowboy hats and cigars.” Chris replied, “We can’t keep talking about that, Gretchen: Mrs. Wallace is no longer amused at that conversation.”]

With regard to former Alaskan governor and famed outdoorswoman Sarah Palin, Chris bawdily bantered about her with FBN anchor Imus before his February 7, 2010 FNS interview with her. When Imus asked, “When you interview her, will she be sitting on your lap?, Chris randily responded, “One can only hope.” Consequently, Chris got grief from women such as noted journalist, Cokie Roberts. (Whether he did from Mrs. Wallace is not known.

Yesterday, during his promo for FNS on Fox & Friends, Chris turned his amorous ardor toward country singer Kellie Pickler, the former American Idol contestant, kicking off F&F’s “All American Summer” concert series. After, apparently, seeing the blond beauty Pickler perform throughout the earlier 2 1/2 hours of the show in her bosom-baring red top and hip-hugging blue jeans, a seemingly smitten Chris could not wait to talk about her. After F&F co-host Brian Kilmeade introduced Chris’ segment (citing the BP oil disaster and the President’s tough times), Chris began, “Yeah. Listen, before we get to that, I’m just curious. Has Kellie Pickler been asking about me?”*

As Gretchen chuckled heartily, Brian answered, “Yes. Yes, she has. And, I think it’s kind of odd because I’m sitting right there, and all I hear is Chris Wallace this, Chris Wallace that.” Chris replied, “You know, just, just tell her that I’m a big fan of hers, too. And, you know, who knows?” Incredulous, a grinning Brain echoed, “Who knows?” Aptly, F&F co-host Gretchen interjected, “Wow! I know that you are a fan of cowboy hats so that, that would make sense.” Brian jested, “She going to be singing in about ten minutes for Chris Wallace.” Before talking about the BP oil spill, Chris enthusiastically added, “Yeah. Maybe, she’ll do one of those torch songs about her unrequited love for me.” In response, Gretchen’s eyes immediately widened and her mouth suddenly shut while a surprised Brian simply smiled.

Later, during Chris’ segment, Brian began a question (about whether purported White House offers of positions for certain candidates to drop out of  Senate races portended a “burgeoning scandal”), stating, “If I wanted to get Chris Wallace out of that job and put myself in it, I’d have to get you another attractive job to actually lure you out and open up that spot.” With thoughts of Pickler still prancing in his head, Chris riantly replied, “Oh. I thought when you said you were going to offer me an attractive job to leave this, I thought it was going to be interviewing Kellie Pickler in six minutes.”

As Chris’ segment concluded, Brian ribaldly remarked, “The fact of the matter is, I do want your job, and I am willing to make an offer to you. Kellie Pickler, are you out there? Will you do me a favor, and offer your services to Chris Wallace?” As a blushing Pickler appeared on a trisected screen, a chagrined Chris grimaced and shut his eyes, and Gretchen screamed, “What! What! Excuse me!” Offering Brian diaphanous cover at best, Steve interjected, “Musical services. Musical services.” As Gretchen sat with mouth agape, a goatishly grinning Brian continued, “Would you say ‘hello’ to Chris Wallace?”

As Gretchen punched Brian in the shoulder for his puckish impertinence, a coy Kelli Pickler cooed, “Hello, Chris. How are ya?” Then, as the trio of co-hosts disappeared from the screen, close-ups of Pickler and Chris emerged. Almost like a bashful schoolboy, Chris answered, “Well, I’m just great, Kellie. I must say, I’m better right now.” Chuckling, Pickler coquettishly replied, “Me, too.”

After telling Pickler that he was a big fan of American Idol and saw her “with sushi and all of that stuff” when she was on the show, he queried, “Do you have the faintest idea who I am?” Less than convincingly, Pickler teased, “Oh, yeah. Absolutely! I have your poster hanging above my bed.” As a smiling Pickler looked back at her amused band members, Chris, tugged at his lapels and proudly proclaimed, “Well. Okay, Kelly! There we go!”

Perhaps, a mite jealous, Gretchen questioned, “Chris, is Mrs. Wallace watching?” Before he responded, Pickler interjected, “My apologies to your wife.” Then, Chris replied, “Unfortunately, I think she is. And, I’m gonna pay a heavy price for this.”

Perhaps, not, Chris. Mrs. Wallace has seemed rather charitable thus far.

*Fox & Friends – 06/04/10 (@8:31 a.m. ET)

Wallace “Explains” Imus Jest

about Sarah Palin to an uncomfortable Gretchen Carlson. As Fox & Friends co-anchor Brian Kilmeade observed, Chris Wallace’s promo for Fox News Sunday on F&F Friday”was as awkward as ever.” After Chris previewed his show which includes the first FNS interview of former Alaska governor Sarah Palin, co-host Steve Doocy asked Wallace about his controversial comment on Imus Thursday. Steve remarked, “Chris…normally during our time together, it is Brian that asks the embarrassing question of you. However, I saw online that you said…yesterday when queried whether or not you would do the interview with Sarah Palin on your lap, you said [that] you hope so.”*

Before Wallace could respond, co-host Gretchen Carlson, aghast, exclaimed, “What!” Steve replied, “It’s true.” Wallace retorted, “No, no…What happened was [that] I was on Imus, which was my first mistake, and he said to me at the end, just kidding around, ‘So when you do the interview with her, will she be sitting on your lap?’ And I said, ‘One could hope.’…I thought it was funny at the time.”

Clearly, not amused, Gretchen shook her hand and queried, “Why would he ask such an inane question?” Steve interjected, “I think it was a great question!” As Wallace laughed and both Brian and Steve smiled, a rather outraged Gretchen queried, “Do you ask that of a man?” Wallace stuttered, “Would he have asked me of a man?” With palms upraised, an incredulous Gretchen responded, “Yeah. [Whether a man] would sit on your lap.”

Wallace riposted, “I don’t know. Let me ask you a question. Would you do an interview with Brad Pitt, you sitting on his lap, Gretchen?” “Absolutely not. I find nothing hot about Brad Pitt.” Wallace persisted, “Oh, okay. Oh, and, how ’bout Brian Kilmeade if you sat on his lap?” Rubbing her upper lip uncomfortably and, apparently, trying to skirt the question about her and her colleague, Gretchen replied, “Who?”

Meanwhile, Brian, shaking his head and looking down, only somewhat facetiously interposed, “Hey, let me just say this. Chris Wallace, that as I pointed out–Gretchen, very good move saying, ‘Who?’–Chris, we’re a news show. I don’t know about this lap thing. We got facts, people need to get information, [and] I don’t need the color and stuff. So, this whole thing about socializing and the behind-the-scenes stuff, it has no place.” Under his breath, Steve muttered, “Oh. Wow.” Wallace sarcastically responded, “What, what the heck happened to you? Have the drugs [unintelligble] finally, Brian?

From his off-set Ft. Lauderdale perch, a salty Brian asked, “By the way, what are you [Wallace] wearing?” Trying to bring that topic to a quick close, Steve interjected, “He’s wearing his Chris Wallace outfit.” However, the producers, apparently, were not quite ready to do so and began to play Austin Powers-like theme music. Playing along, Wallace jested, “Are you talking about now or for the interview with Sarah Palin?” Before Brian could respond, Steve interjected, “Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!”

Then, as Steve concluded the promo, Wallace declared, “Get me outta here!” “Me, too!” cried Gretchen. Smiling Brian added, “Yeah. That was as awkward as ever. I’ll miss Chris.”

Wallace is certainly not apologizing for his Imus comment. Will Sarah Palin respond to him tomorrow? If so, will she be as outraged as Gretchen with the ribald banter?

Fox & Friends (02/05/10) – @8:36 a.m. ET