Archive for March, 2009

O’Reilly: Bleep, Bleep, Bleep, Bleep

March 31, 2009

It was embarrassing! If you watched the O’Reilly Factor’s Ashley Biden segment entitled the “Tale of the Tape,” you can be forgiven for feeling foolish or for being patronized. I.e., you either did not know or should not know that the Veep’s daughter was allegedly filmed snorting cocaine.

Reminiscent of Newsweeks’ approach to the Monica Lewinsky scandal, Bill O’Reilly complimented the mainstream media for mainly ignoring the story while its reckless counterpart the Internet news sources did not. However, O’Reilly indicated that he deemed it appropriate for the audience to know the development of this story. Hence, he interviewed Chris Meyers of who had apparently been pedaled the video.

In his introduction, O’Reilly said that to be fair to the Biden family that he would not get into the “salacious allegations.” However, they became crystal clear to any observant viewer even thought Meyers’ answers to O’Reilly’s questions about the hawking, “setup,” and “shakedown” were bleeped four times. Thus, if you didn’t know already and still didn’t after viewing the segment, you may well be a simpleton.

O’Reilly Factor – @8:11 p.m. ET

O’Reilly’s Cultural War Pinups?

March 31, 2009

Last night “Top Chef” host Padma Lakshmi’s sexy new Hardee’s ad had Bill O’Reilly, Margaret Hoover, and Monica Crowley all heated up in the Cultural Warrior segment. As O’Reilly questioned his two blonde battle babes about the appropriateness of the commercial for children, he also wondered aloud whether Margaret ever ate a burger like that.

For the reader who has not seen the ad, the Indian actress and model coos about how the Western Bacon [Thickburger] reminds her of sneaking out in high school before dinner to “savor that sweet spicy sauce, leaving no evidence behind.” As she does so, she hikes up her short skirt, lustfully puts a large piece of bacon in her mouth while spilling its sauce on her bare leg, wipes it up with her middle finger, and lovingly licks it clean.*

In response to O’Reilly’s randy query, Margaret teased that if he were lucky he might see her do it. Monica saucily added that he might get to see them do it together. Maybe, not for children but, apparently, for O’Reilly and his Cultural Warriors.

Other links:

Pussycat Kiran Busts a Move

March 30, 2009

Kiran’s Chetry’s got the rhythm! The comely American Morning co-anchor gave viewers a taste of her saucy, sexy side when she thought the camera wasn’t looking. As the strains of Rihanna’s “Please Don’t Stop the Music” introduced recessionista Lola Ogunnaike’s Virgin Megastore closing segment,  American Morning co-anchor Kiran Chetry placed her hands on her svelte hips and began to jauntily gyrate.

Suddenly sensing she was on air, she stopped. Turning to a subtly swaying Lola, Kiran explained, “Just gonna break out a dance move: I didn’t realize we were on camera. Oops!”

No need to apologize, Kiran. AM could use more of a fun, flirty flair from the femmes to balance its hard news approach. Maybe, AM could give Fox & Friends a real run for the money if AM EP Janelle Rodriguez would “Let the Cats Out.” Mew! Mew! Mew! Mew! Mew!

Carlson’s CARping: Unfurl E.D.’s Flag

March 30, 2009

Fox & Friends co-host Gretchen Carlson got on her soapbox about the car industry bailout again today and on co-host Steve Doocy’s nerves as well. After last week scolding co-anchor Brian Kilmeade on his need to be upbeat on car sales to not deter future auto buyers, the daughter of car dealership owners continued her lesson today to her co-anchor Steve Doocy’s discomfort during a President Obama rescue plan segment.

As she began her discourse, Gretchen criticized the lack of auto industry experience on the President’s oversight group and then groused that GM CEO Rick Wagoner had been forced from his job while bailed-out bank bosses kept theirs. As the story progressed, Steve noted the need for GM’s management and auto workers to come to terms: Seemingly, oblivious to his remarks, Gretchen animatedly asked, “But my question also this morning–got lots of ’em–where’s the union in all of this? Steve snapped, “Yeah, that’s what I just said!” Then her tireless lecture began anew.

Perhaps, the F&F producers need to resurrect former co-host E.D. Hill’s flag (or a Gretchen symbol). For new F&F viewers, whenever E.D. would go on one of her jingoistic sermons on the virtues of God, country, mom, and apple pie, F&F would play the Star-Spangled Banner with flying fiag footage behind her: Cued, E.D. would redden, smile, and stop, realizing that she was belaboring the obvious to the chagrin of her co-hosts and her audience. For Gretchen, whenever she goes on one of her risible rants, the producers could play “There She Is, Miss America” with a Main Motors sign shown behind her.

Kiran’s “Gams”: Leno Looking?

March 24, 2009

Jay Leno revealed that he notices American Morning co-host Kiran Chetry’s gorgeous gams. In his monologue, as he set up a joke about an AM shot looking like two guys hitting on babes in a bar, he aired footage of AM. On screen in the foreground were towheaded Christine Romans and auburn-locked Kiran Chetry, and in the background were two male pundits.

Leno remarked, “I was watching CNN the other day and they tried something new by putting two sets of news anchors in the same shot: Look at this.” He asked, “Doesn’t that look like two guys at an airport bar getting ready to hit on two other [sic] chicks. Hey, Bob,…I’m going to go for the blonde. Jim, you take the brunette: Whoo! Look at the gams on that one. Yeah!”*

You should be proud, Chris! Not only do Fox & Friends fans and AM aficionados appreciate your lovely’s legs but also the current king of late night, Jay Leno. Of course, as to Leno’s allusion to the obvious, kudos, Kiran!

*AM (Tonight Show clip) – 6:06 a.m. ET

Update 1: Jay Leno Show: Jay noticed “Kiran’s” legs again and exposed John’s “foot fetish.”

Update 2: Jay Leno Show: After Kiran complained that Jay’s footage did not include her real legs, Jay took another peek at “Kiran’s” hairy stems. Then Kiran responded with a closeup of her lovely legs (and a pink lipstick kiss).

Update 3: Jay Leno Show: Jay apologized for  doctored footage and “really” showed Kiran’s gams–all three of them. Jay’s gaffes: He called her Kyra not once, but twice. (Kyra Phillips is a CNN anchor reported to be co-anchor John Roberts’ off-air partner.)

Megyn & Ken N HD

March 24, 2009

On the second day of America’s Newroom HD, co-host Bill Hemmer asked, “How do we look in HD?” after watching a Politico clip of Family Guy where the Fox News anchor hottie becomes a nottie after the switch to HD. Co-anchor Megyn Kelly interjected, “I don’t know who thought of HD but it definitely was not somebody who was an on-camera person: It was some sadistic person who just wanted to torture us!” Moreover, she modestly remarked, “Must you have the anchors in HD? The soft blur is so much more forgiving.”

For the self-proclaimed Ken and Barbie, the change has been good. Like the boy doll, Bill is handsome and a good accessory. Like America’s Bild Lilli, Megyn is the busty, bronzed blonde with gams galore and perfect hair: HD has tortured neither.

No worries, Megyn: No forgiving needed.

Less Gretch? More F&F Femmes?

March 23, 2009

Did Fox & Friends co-host Gretchen Carlson let the cat out of the bag? Did spending quality time on holiday with her hubby top sports agent Casey Close and their two young children loosen her lips? After finally returning from her long vacation when Alisyn Camerota, Ainsley Earhardt, and Juliet Huddy filled in for her as guest hosts, Gretchen stated, “It’s great to be back, by the way; I was gone for, for quite some time; and I was to starting to feel like ‘Hmm, that work thing!” Then she quickly added, “No, just kidding.”

A kernel of truth in her jest? E.g., instead of quitting work to be with her family, is she considering cutting back her  hours? Gretchen may be having a hankering to return to a lighter morning schedule. I.e., Gretchen may want to be co-anchor of a shorter Fox & Friends that runs from 7:00-9:00 a.m. ET.

If so, FNC may have been auditioning Aly, Ainsley, and Juliet for the old F&F First hour (6:00 a.m. ET). Of course, it would be doubtful to see Aly returned to F&F after resurrecting F&F Weekend unless Ainsley or Juliet return to F&FW. Less Gretch and more femmes in F&F’s future?

Tiny Titan Trashes Trump

March 23, 2009

The candor of kids: not good for Fox & Friends favorite billionaire! After being interviewed by F&F co-anchor Gretchen Carlson on his “apprentice creator” business card, his career aspirations, etc., the eight-year-old entrepreneur Tanner Leuellen transported Fox & Friends co-host Gretch Carlson into the “No Spin Zone.” When she asked him whether he had watched the Apprentice and whether he knew who Donald Trump was, he indicated that he had and he did. Unfortunately for Gretch, Tanner added, “He’s kinda mean!” to laughter in the studio.

A surprised Gretch sat up in her seat suddenly, smiled, bit her lip, and exclaimed, “He is?” Undaunted, the tiny tycoon grimaced and answered, “He is: He kinda gives me the willies.” Gretch responded, “That’s because he says, ‘You’re fired,’ but, definitely you are not going to be fired: You are starting off in a very innovative way, you’re only eight years, and you are a little sweetheart.”

Knowing the Donald, he probably got a few ideas. Can Kid Apprentice be too far behind? Will Little Tanner be its spokesman or one of its first contestants?

AM’s Mistress Lola

March 20, 2009

“L-o-l-a!” If you subconsciously heard the strains of the Kinks’ “Lola” as you watched the “Jobless Men” segment by America Morning correspondent Lola Ugunnaike, you might be forgiven. That is, if Mistress Lola says so. Normally, she probably would but today seemed to be different. After her report on the emasculation of men who had lost their jobs, Lola sternly declared, “Women are supposed to be sensitive, understanding, but you also have to hold your man accountable. Men cannot get away with just sitting around at home while these women are out in the workplace busting their tail and the house is in shambles; it can’t happen; and [t]here has to be a redistribution of power in the household.”

AM co-host Kiran Chetry facetiously opined, “That’s what they want to hear….You already lost your job: Now scrub the toilets.” Chiming in, co-anchor Christine Romans agreed, “Yeah, exactly!” With her tongue firmly in cheek, Lola laughed, “Yeah, that’s what they want to hear.”

A kinder Kiran added, “Give a guy a break, too, though! Don’t try to blame him for losing his job or say, ‘You’re not trying hard enough to find a new one.” Concurring, Christine interjected, “Yeah, that’s not going to help!” However, Lola persisted, “Don’t beat him up but you do have to hold him accountable. He can’t be playing Wii or Nintendo all day long and not helping around the house if he doesn’t have a job. Come on!” As the segment concluded, Kiran keenly commented, “See Lola’s husband is out of town so she can say whatever she wants.”

In AM’s penultimate “Road to Recovery” segment, was Mistress Lola trying to stimulate the American economy? If so, success may be limited to certain enclaves in the country. However, she was probably much more successful accross the Pond.

Obama Gaffe: Doocy’s Double Standard?

March 20, 2009

“Was he [President Obama] making fun of this [sic] disabled?” asked Fox & Friends co-host Steve Doocy today.  Doocy took great umbrage at President Obama’s comparison of his bowling skills to those of Special Olympians on the “Tonight Show with Jay Leno” last night and categorized it as “awful.” However, Doocy failed to similarly call out FNC contributor Bob Beckel a year ago when he made a similar derisive comment to Doocy. In that instance, Doocy said that he himself was a “biathalon” Olympic athlete and Beckel laughed, “At the Special Olympics.” [In a missive to the author, Kirsten Suto-Seckler, Director of SO’s Global Marketing and Awareness deemed Beckel’s remark “demeaning” and said that it would be addressed by Tim Shriver, Chairman of Special Olympics (SO).]

Of course, Bob Beckel does not rise to the same level as the President. Nevertheless, Doocy should have criticized both for remarks (even if inadvertent) that impugn the cognitively challenged. Hopefully, Doocy will acknowledge his earlier lapse in judgment.

Huddy Heads Home

March 19, 2009

According to JDP’s Breaking News, the smart, sassy, and sexy Juliet Huddy, will be back on Fox & Friends Friday. Her welcome return is even earlier than the author had envisioned. Even though new episodes of her cancelled FOX morning show (with Mike Jerrick), The Morning Show with Mike and Juliet, will run through June 2009, FNC’s Senior Vice President of Programming Bill Shine must be eager to return her to the F&F fold. If so, she will add some much needed depth to an all too shallow bench. (Is Mike waiting in the wings?)

Welcome back, Juliet!

F&F’s “Rough Riding”

March 19, 2009

Teddy, FDR: “same difference”! Or so it seemed to a less than studious Fox and Friends staffer. In a Presidential-contributions-to-veterans segment, when co-host Steve Doocy read the accomplishments of FDR, a picture of Teddy Roosevelt (the 26th President & FDR’s distant cousin) appeared on the screen.* However, Steve failed to notice the mistake since he was looking down at his notes.

Realizing the risible error, co-host Brian Kilmeade declared, “Wrong Roosevelt! Wrong Roosevelt!” Suddenly, Steve exclaimed, “That’s Teddy Roosevelt! That’s great.” Making light of the gaffe in his uniquely tortured rhetoric, Brian continued, “That’s Teddy, Teddy, his cousin: But Teddy gave away Eleanor at their wedding so Teddy was right to be there.” Wisely remaining silent, guest co-anchor Alisyn Camerota bit her tongue.

Greasing the skids! Few do it better than the F&F crew.

*F&F – 7:38 a.m. ET

Friel Says: Ailes Says

March 19, 2009

How did FNC entertainment correspondent Friel get her job with Fox News? When Soupcans asked her just that, Courtney responded, “I went on a date with Roger Ailes.” Courtney haters may have hoped to themselves, “Just what I thought!” However, realizing that her humor might get lost on such people, she clarified, “OMG: I’m joking!” (She added that she actually got her position after her agent had sent her demo DVD to FNC and she had had a successful interview in NYC.)

In the Soupcans piece appropriately posted on St. Pat’s Day, the former Maxim model was clad in a sexy green dress and discussed her love of Rio’s beaches, partying, and culture. Courtney dismissed the rumors that she and Julie Banderas have had their claws out for each other. Also, she revealed acerbic “American Idol” judge Simon Cowell’s nickname: Trouble.

Furthermore, Courtney discussed the dynamics of her being married to Carter Evans, a CNN’r; her regrets, if any, of her laddie mag pics; and her celeb chums. For her full interview, cf. the Soupcans link, infra. An interesting read.

Update: To Washington Whispers, Rogers riantly replied, “”I’m glad Courtney Friel made this joke and not Neil Cavuto.” (Tip of the hat, JDP.)


Update links:

Megyn: Bring It, Britney!

March 17, 2009

If U Seek Amy, Megyn: Catfight! Even though Britney Spears spoofed America’s Newsroom co-host hottie Megyn Kelly as a moralizing anchor in her video “If U Seek Amy,” Megyn relished the sex kitten’s claws. In an aptly named segment, “Cat Fight! Britney Calls Out Kelly’s Court,” Megyn reminded viewers that she had taken Britney “to task” in a past Kelly’s Court over the x-rated lyrics transparent in the title.

Thereafter she played the pop princess’ video which opened and ended with a blond “news anchor” on “America’s News” that looked and sounded like Megyn and who echoed her words precisely. As the vid started, the actress slowly said, “If U Seek Amy” and as it ended, she asked, “Doesn’t make any sense, does it?” Megyn laughed heartily and queried, “Did she take a shot at “moi”? I think so!”

Then facetiously, challenging Britney, she exclaimed, “Bring it, Britney! Come on!” As an aside to the audience, she said, “We have invited Britney Spears to come on this program. Showdown!” Playfully, pretending to bare her claws, she snarled saucily.

Fox fight!

Roberts: On KP Duty

March 16, 2009

After a year of being back on the single circuit, American Morning’s silver-haired alpha male John Roberts is seemingly ready to settle down again. According to TVNewser sources, AM’s “explorer” extraordinaire is now paired with, no, not his “TV wife” Kiran Chetry, but with her AM substitute Kyra Phillips based in Atlanta. Reportedly, the CNN anchors have been dating since December and have become rather close lately. According to TVNewser tipsters, Kyra met Roberts’ children in Toronto last weekend when Roberts was inducted was into the Canadian Broadcast Industry Hall of Fame and Roberts is planning to meet Kyra’s clan on a family vacation out West.

Apparently, CNN’s Roberts and Kyra are insuring that Hotlanta lives up to its name.

Ainsley: “Gotta Go, Dad”

March 16, 2009

When Fox & Friends guest co-anchor and South Carolina belle Ainsley Earhardt called home today on the air, she was treated to some Southern DisComfort by her dad. When co-host Steve Doocy kiddingly told Ainsley to call her parents to tell them to put up the car windows because of the rain forecast, she actually did. After reaching her dad, she told him that Steve had a message for him and handed the phone to Steve who put it on speakerphone.

After Steve warned him about the rain, Mr. Earhardt said with a distinct Southern drawl that it was good because he had just fertilized his yard. Stirring the pot, Steve asked, “Growing up, did Ainsley help you with the yard work, sir? He replied, “Very, very little!” Defensively, Ainsley animatedly interjected, “Oh, Dad! I did! I did: I was out there picking up leaves. Remember that was always the chore I had to do. We had the big magnolia.” Her dad teased, “A few leaves every once in a while: That’s about it.” Ainsley retorted, “I helped you dad: you know I did.”

Having accomplished his goal, Steve laughed, “Nothing like having a little family feud live on tv.” Mr. Earhardt concluded, “That’s right. Enjoyed watching ya’ll this morning.” After Steve and Ainsley thanked him, of her New York City based colleagues she almost abashedly asked, “He’s not from the South, is he? Then quickly to her dad, she said, “Love ya, Dad. Alright, we gotta go, Dad.”

Doocy: CNN “Communist News Network”

March 16, 2009

Fox & Friends co-host Steve Doocy took a sharp shot at rival CNN today while reporting the election of former CNN correspondent Mauricio Funes as president of El Salvador. Doocy declared, “Here’s a story that you’re not going to see on CNN: An ex-CNN reporter…Mauricio Funes…he’s from a party down in El Salvador that is essentially the Communist Party.”

Guest co-anchor Peter Johnson, Jr. elaborated, “The FMLN, the Farabundo Marti National Liberation Front, which, allegedly, has ties to strongman Cesar [sic] Chavez.” After correcting Johnson’s verbal gaffe (i.e., mistaking the Mexican American agrarian labor leader for the Venezuelan President), Doocy sniped, “I wonder if he’s on just a leave of absence from CNN: Which given his political inklings CNN officially now could stand for the Communist News Network.”


N.B. In the past, Doocy has made similar stinging swings at news competitors MSNBC and NBC. He has dubbed MSDNC and NBC the National Barack Channel. Doocy, ready to rumble!


“John & Kiran”: Sexist?

March 14, 2009

“John and Kiran”: Sexist AM sign-off? Sounds silly, eh? Perhaps: Perhaps not. The recently standard segue of American Morning correspondents (when they do not know which co-anchor is following them) always seemed somewhat strange to the author: Why did not the reporters change the order on occasion? A possible explanation seemed to be that the obviously more senior co-anchor was being given greater honor.

However, when guest host Rob Marciano Thursday and Friday substituted for John, the invariable reporters’ au revoir seemed to manifest more a sexist tinct. Even though Carol Costello concluded her report with “Kiran, Rob” (according more accolades to Kiran, the permanent co-host), the other correspondents concluded their reports with “Rob and Kiran” as if it were “male and Kiran.”

Does the author think that American Morning’s reporters are intentionally sexist? Absolutely not. However, in the future, it would be helpful if AM executive producer Janelle Rodriguez were to have them alternate the names so as to not indicate otherwise.

Meghan McCain: Miss McBeef?

March 12, 2009

Is Meghan McCain confused? Did she think that Ann Coulter dissed her vis-a-vis Laura Ingraham? Just a mere six days after Ingraham unloaded on the Daily Beast blogger and her dad, Meghan wrote “My Beef with Ann Coulter.”*

The very day after Meghan complained that her Dad’s failed candidacy had ruined her social life,** Ingraham, in an interview with Fox & Friends, declared, “I think maybe she [Meghan] should just stop writing insipid blogs and just focus on something positive. These people who are constantly whining about things that don’t matter: Go out and volunteer. I’m sure that you’ll find some nice people to date.”*** Last night FNC’s king of cable Bill O’Reilly remarked that he did not know what had started the one-sided feud with Ann Coulter. Today Fox & Friends co-hosts, Alisyn Camerota, Steve Doocy, and Brian Kilmeade elicited no further elucidation in their interview with the flaxen-tressed daughter of John McCain.

Not only does the timing of Meghan’s attacks on Coulter seems to indicate that she has the wrong woman in her sights but also the personal nature appears to reflect that to boot. Meghan decried Coulter as “offensive, radical, insulting” and one who “could be the poster woman for the most extreme side of the Republican Party.”* Not to mention, on F&F today she carped that Coulter had not answered her twenty-question quiz.

Meghan, did you mistake Coulter for Ingraham? Or are you aping Ron Reagan?


Aly: In For Gretchen

March 12, 2009

“In for Gretchen.” When Fox & Friends guest co-host Alisyn Camerota mellifluously uttered those three words yesterday, it was music to the ears. The viewer knew exactly what to expect. I.e., Fox & Friends at its best: informative, irreverent, and edgy. With the smart, sexy, and confident Aly in the center seat, the real A-Team delivered yesterday and today. Tomorrow’s prospects look equally good.

A Gretch hater? No. But Aly increases the tempo, is on her toes, and keeps the boys on theirs. She doesn’t demand respect: she earns it. She’s an alpha bitch in the best sense of the term: Gretch is not.

As to Gretch, she would be good with Julie Banderas later in the daytime. The former Miss America would be taken out of her comfort zone by the feisty, fiery Latin beauty. Gretch could learn to loosen up, let her hair down, and, maybe, with a few mohitos, mix it up a bit without needing to be in control or to be coddled.

If Aly moved into the weekday F&F and Gretchen teamed with Julie, Fox & Friends Weekend would lose its leader. Whether F&FW could survive another rudderless voyage is doubtful. However, if Ainsley Earhardt steps it up a notch and loses her reflexive deference, maybe, she can pilot the ship again.