F&FW: Fox & Friends Weak

Anna, Clayton, and Somebody Else. Unfortunately, Fox & Friends Weekend is a feckless, flaccid iteration of its former self with Alisyn Camerota no longer at the helm. Now that the queen of the curvy couch has inexplicably and inanely been banished to FNC’s generic America’s News HQ weekdays, F&FW is sadly a ship without a captain.

Without Aly to plot a sure course each weekend for F&FW, there’s green newbie Anna Kooiman, flanked by tech geek/comics nerd co-host Clayton Morris and his alpha male mate Tucker Carlson one day or his Philadelphia cheesy mentor Mike Jerrick the next, trying her best to keep the listing boat afloat among the shoals. It is absurd: It is as if Bill Shine could not care less to craft a new F&FW identity with a certain crew on the manifest. Perhaps, he needs to remember his loyal F&FW viewers may not go elsewhere: But, they may just realize that they do not necessarily need the TV on as they embrace the day–and their weekend.

And, that may not be such a bad thing after all.

Kooiman: Jerrick Wishes For Kisses!

Anna: “That’s what [Mike] would like to think!” This morning, Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Anna Kooiman put priapic fill-in co-anchor Mike Jerrick in his place–at least, for the moment. The ever-randy Mike took advantage of his and Anna’s F&FW‘s penultimate segment featuring country singer Craig Campbell’s singing his new single, “Keep Them Kisses Comin’.”

Introducing Campbell, F&FW‘s favorite old goat bawdily remarked, “Now, Anna always says to me–she leans over in the commercial[s]–keep the kisses coming, Mike!”* Looking doubtfully at Anna who smilingly arched her eyebrow at Mike’s latest salacious fantasy, Campbell responded, “Wow!” Looking at the camera with a soupcon of derision, Anna aptly added, “That’s what he would like to think! But!”

Indeed. But, what’s new!

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 03/01/14 (@ 9:53 a.m. ET)

Jerrick Plays Priapus With Huddy

Reddening, Juliet swats his faux phallus away. Former Fox & Friends Weekend co-hosts Mike Jerrick and Juliet Huddy were back in action on the curvy couch this morning. Filling in for Tucker Carlson and Anna Kooiman, respectively, the concupiscent couple were back to their usual naughty selves as they joined F&F regular anchor Clayton Morris anew for a Philly sandwich.

However, today, Mike took his priapic play with Juliet up a notch when he probably thought that the two of them were safely off camera. During an 111th American International Toy Fair toy preview segment, their guest displayed a retro toy called the “Bop Bag,” (a vertical, phallic-shaped punching bag that bounces back when pounded).* Bawdily, Mike intoned, “That’s what I call Juliet, ‘bop bag'” as Juliet chuckled. When the segment came to an end, Juliet teased upcoming stories as accompanying clips aired.

As Juliet’s intros ended, Mike briefly positioned the bop bag as if it were his erect phallus pointed salaciously toward Juliet’s kisser. Blushing, she batted her bad boy’s toy aside with the back of her hand, exclaiming, “Michael!” Shaking her head with a smile, she simply turned and wisely walked away.

[Author’s aside: Apt Priapus Mike flashback? In September 2007, HobokenNow.com noted, “Mike will jump at every opportunity to make a double entendre, while Juliet will sometimes squirm a little–or even visibly blush–when things get racy.” This was perfectly illustrated after the taping of their show [The Morning Show with Mike and Juliet], when Juliet said the word ‘p*nis’ on the air for the first time. ‘I never thought we’d get that “p*nis” out of her mouth,’ Mike quipped after the show.”]

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 02/16/14 (@ 7:47 a.m. ET).

F&FW’s “Throwback Weekend”: Juliet & Mike Return!

Huddy’s Philly Sandwich: tasty but stale? Today, former F&FW co-hosts Juliet Huddy and Mike Jerrick returned to their old stomping grounds for a “Throwback Weekend” (as aptly described by F&FW meteorologist Janice Dean). To make things interesting, the concupiscent couple rejoined regular anchor Clayton Morris for a Yuletide romp on the curvy couch.

Yesterday morning, Juliet announced the big news of their reunion, Tweeting, “Oh my…lock up the kids… hosting @foxandfriends thos [sic] weekend w my old pal in crime @MikeFOX29 aka JERRICK! & @ClaytonMorris. Tune in!” For her fans the news was momentous: the leggy lovely had not been flanked by her “Philly guys” to make “a Philly sandwich” since August 2011 (if the author’s memory serves him correctly). And, if Clayton and Mike were right in 2011 about their saucy siren, perhaps, Juliet “needed help” again “with [her] plumbing.”

Consequently, when the author tuned in this morning to the “Throwback” fun, he half-expected the old F&FW opening of a blushing, beaming Juliet listening to blond beauty Jenny McCarthy bawdily declaring, “Yes, the carpet does match the drapes!” Instead, the oft profane Andrew Dice Clay tamely introduced Fox & Friends [Weekend]: Cutely coiffed Mika-style, Juliet reappeared this morning in the middle of her Philly boys as the lady in the red dress–demurely cut with a high neck, longer sleeves, and a midi hem. Not necessarily boding well for those expecting vintage Mike and Juliet.

When the show started in earnest subsequently, Mike turned to his long-time colleague, saying, “Oh! Hi, Juliet! Good to see you.” Eying her freshly shorn head impishly, he remarked, “I like the new hairdo!” Teasing her seemingly about her more mature mien all the more, he playfully displayed her reading glasses, jibing, “And, now you’re wearing glasses. I haven’t seen you in a while!”

Grabbing her spectacles from Mike’s hands and putting them back on the table,  a smiling Juliet jauntily riposted, “Oh, shut up! Get away from me.”

With arched eyebrows and a glint in his eye, Clayton mischievously interjected, “You know, they say [that] when a woman cuts her hair or puts on glasses like there’s some sort of thing going on in her life.” Apparently, acknowledging her recent engagement to her Mr. Wright, a grinning Juliet replied, “Yeah, there’s a lot of things going on in my life!”

Later, in the segment, Mike alluded to the Times Square New Year’s Eve celebration this year and recalled how cold it was when he and Juliet had hosted FNC’s New Year’s Eve festivities. In their segue to Janice, Juliet asked her if she remembered her and Mike’s hosting. In response, Janice declared, “I do. This is like Throwback Weekend here!”* And, it was: But, eleven years later–with someone new.

And, that someone was Clayton. When the second hour began, Mike declared, “We take you back to 2002: Look, it’s Mike and Juliet on the couch again!” Turning to Clayton, Juliet laughed, “You don’t look like Julian Phillips [their whilom African American co-anchor]! Grinning, Clayton answered, “I know. I’m not Julian Phillips.”

And, today, Mike and Juliet were not quite “Mike and Juliet” either. As usual Mike appeared to be his ever randy testosterone-infused self: But, today, bereft of her tresses, Juliet seemed especially estrogen deficient–and wanting a Miley moment [NSFW VMA 2013 vid]. Tomorrow may be a whole new day.

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 12/27/18 (@ 6:12 a.m. ET).

F&FW’s Juliet Huddy: “The ‘Bitch’ is Back!”

“Blast from the past!” Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Juliet Huddy made a triumphant return today to the curvy couch that she once shared with Mike Jerrick and Julian Phillips in the early 00’s (and that she has eschewed as a sub of late). Taking the reins from the too oft diffident current co-anchor Anna Kooiman for the weekend, the former F&FW “alpha bitch” proudly introduced her appearance as a” blast from the past.”* And, so, it was.

Dressed in her ironically virginal white mini dress, Juliet held court with her boys du jour, Clayton Morris and Tucker Carlson. No awkward pauses, no alphabet soup, and no meek mien from this dirty blonde beauty: The brassy New Jersey broad Juliet appeared in sharp contrast with her more demure Southern belle successor Anna. And, maybe, she intended it that way–or, at least, Shine did.

From this viewer’s perspective, Anna’s absence appeared rather odd since she has been on the job for barely a month. Stranger yet, the usually chirpy bird neither Tweeted her followers nor alerted her Facebook friends that she would take flight from her perch so soon after alighting there. To boot, no mention was made today of the “for now” co-host on F&FW other than the one time Juliet simply said, “I’m Juliet Huddy in for Anna Kooiman” (at the start of the second hour).

The future of Fox & Friends Weekend may seem uncertain but its present is not. At least, for today (and tomorrow), to paraphrase Elton, FNC’s “alpha bitch” is back!** And, Anna’s gone for now.

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 11/02/13 (@ 6:01 a.m. ET).

**Ibid at @ 9:59 a.m. ET.

[Author’s aside: After the show today, Anna posted two glam pics of herself: one with her “Mama Bear” and another with both her parents.]

Tucker Carlson: F&FW’s Shelley Hack?

Clayton Morris: “Welcome in Mike Jerrick from Philadelphia!” Yesterday, Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Anna Kooiman welcomed increasingly frequent co-anchor Tucker Carlson fill-in Mike Jerrick with a spirited fist bump to the curvy couch. Heartily endorsing his predecessor and successor at FOX 29 Good Day (Philadelphia), Clayton Morris enthusiastically exclaimed, “Welcome in Mike Jerrick from Philadelphia!” And, no mention was made of Tucker then or for the rest of the show Saturday. Or Sunday–when Mike returned.

As the author mused today about yet another absence of Tucker and the fact that his co-anchors Anna and Clayton (or meteorologist Rick Reichmuth) did not even care to cite it, he recalled, perhaps, a revealing vignette last Sunday on F&FW of Tucker’s disconnect to the show. After a segue to his weather report, Rick ribbed Tucker about not being able to get off the floor in an earlier “fitness” segment: Chuckling, Tucker jested, “I’d fallen and I can’t [sic]  get up.”* Meanwhile, putting her hands over her eyes, Anna interjected, “So embarrassed about that video: we keep playing it.” In reply to both, perhaps, Rick declared, “We can’t let it go.”

Grinning, a gesticulating Tucker queried, “On normal TV shows, don’t they kind of prevent you from embarrassing yourself on TV?” Interposing, Clayton jested, “On normal TV shows, not on Fox & Friends!” Rick riposted, “[Inaudible] Tucker has not watched this show before he joined!” Smiling, Tucker conceded, “Yeah, apparently, not.”

Seven months ago to the very day, the rather cerebral Tucker officially was named the replacement of popular, unapologetically sentimental Dave Briggs on the curvy couch. It seemed a somewhat strange choice for a weekend show that is largely predicated on a personal nexus between the co-hosts and the audience. It appeared, especially, so in light of a F&FW signature analysis segment on January 12 (approximately two-and-half months earlier): F&FW “handwriting expert” Michelle Dresbold declared Tucker’s printed signature (“TSMC”) to indicate that he was not really letting anyone see too much of himself.** Concurring, Tucker acknowledged, “It’s like ‘Tears of a Clown’: I keep it inside.”

Perhaps, too much so. What does the FOX say?

[Author’s aside: Incidentally, after seven months as an official F&FW co-host, Tucker has still not added his FNC position to his Twitter rubric. Re “Shelley Hack” in the title of this post, supra, she was the single-season actress who replaced Kate Jackson as the “cerebral” Angel in Charlie’s Angels and got bumped summarily when she did not connect with fans.]

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 10/26/13 (@ 8:04 a.m. ET)

**Fox & Friends Weekend – 01/12/13 (@ 9:48 a.m. ET)

Proud Anna [Kooiman]: “Nice and Rough”?

“‘Nice and easy’: I’d like to do that for you….But we never, ever do nothing nice and easy: We always do it nice and rough!” Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Anna Kooiman may know how to give up a “booty-shaking” performance [vid] a la Tina Turner as a rocking fitness instructor: But, if she is ever going to rule the F&FW curvy couch, she needs to learn from the “Queen of Rock ‘n’ Roll” not only to translate her youthful enthusiasm and sexy energy into her new FNC gig but also to find a way to infuse her Southern niceness with a little old-time Tina “roughness.”

Too often, on the set with her co-anchors Clayton Morris and Tucker Carlson (and/or Mike Jerrick), Anna seems to embody her beautiful, playful yellow lab Baxter–overly eager to please. She would do well to remember the success of past F&FW “alpha bitches” (e.g., Juliet Huddy, Alisyn Camerota (thrice), Kiran Chetry, and Page Hopkins) and the failure of another nice Carolinian F&FW anchor (Ainsley Earhardt). If Anna hopes ever to rival her predecessor Aly (to whom Clayton bid adieu, saying, “I have never worked with someone in a female capacity on the air who has been just as effortless and fantastic as you”), she must learn not to be cowed by Clayton’s cleverness and Tucker’s intellect (and/or Mike’s deftness).

In other words, don’t be afraid to be an F&FW “alpha bitch,” Anna: Dominate the boys with your smarts, wit, and sensuality.

[Author’s aside: The subtitle, supra, is a quote from Tina Turner’s introduction to her legendary Proud Mary (with her then husband, Ike Turner). As to the inclusion of Mike Jerrick, supra, he seems to be co-hosting F&FW with increasing frequency for the incorrigibly absent Tucker.]

F&FW Med Malpractice? Tylenol Hangover Cure!

Oops: Partier Alert! This morning, Fox & Friends Weekend anchor Clayton Morris inaptly introduced New York City mixologist/bartender Pamela Wiznitzer as one who would “separate fact from fiction” as to hangover cures.* After discussing the merits of Sprite, “hair of the dog,” bananas, etc., Wiznitzer confidently declared, “I’m gonna tell you one thing: Aspirin is not what you should be taking if you’re drinking….But, ibuprofen and Tylenol are very safe!” As co-hosts Clayton and guest co-host Mike Jerrick remained mute, co-anchor Anna Kooiman muttered, “Okay.”

No, it is not “okay.” According to the Mayo Clinic, “[I]f you sometimes drink alcohol to excess, acetaminophen (Tylenol, others) can cause severe liver damage even in doses previously thought to be safe.” Off air, Wiznitzer was rebutted by one Tweeter, who said, “[T]ake Tylenol instead of Aspirin”.. this is backwards. Tylenol and Alcohol cause liver damage.” Acknowledging her ill advice to the Tweeter (and to @ClaytonMorris), Wiznitzer conceded, “Indeed you are right….Never mix the two.”

Medical advice from a mixologist/bartender? Seriously?! Unfortunately, F&FW producers and the co-anchors fell down on the job today. But, Clayton, perchance, had an even greater responsibility to alert wrongly informed viewers of the dangers of Tylenol (especially, if he read his guest’s recantation before the end of the show).

Alisyn Camerota has “left the building.” Now, it is time to take up the slack, F&FW! Until then, caveat emptor, viewers!

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 10/13/13 (@ 8:53 a.m. ET).

Mike “Jerric”: F&FW’s Co-host Again?

Aly’s gone: Tucker, too? Today, Fox & Friends guest co-anchor Mike Jerrick returned to the curvy couch to help Clayton Morris steer the now almost rudderless ship that current American News HQ co-host Alisyn Camerota and F&FW‘s three-time captain “abandoned.” Filling in for the incorrigibly absent co-host Tucker Carlson who was recently brought on board, F&FW veteran Mike returned this morning to help save the day, as co-host “for now” Anna Kooiman struggles to gain her sea legs.

Without their long-time leader Aly today, F&FW producers and Clayton seemed saliently off course this morning. At the start of each hour (that identified the co-hosts), Mike’s surname was thrice risibly spelled as “Jerric.” (Perhaps, his early ’00’s classic F&FW stint with Juliet Huddy and Julian Phillips is now but a faint memory if ever there were one.) To boot, a strangely off-key Clayton segued twice to meteorologist Rick Reichmuth with obviously erroneous info that Rick had to correct: First, Clayton, implored male viewers to send in pics of them illegally kissing their wives today (re a Hartford, CT, law that made such P.D.A. illegal on Sundays);* and, later, he indicated that Phuket, Thailand, was devastated by a typhoon rather than the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami.**

F&FW: Clayton, Anna, and who? Sans Aly, F&FW flounders anew. Clayton’s hand at the helm is somewhat uncertain; Anna is trying to find her footing; and Tucker is M.I.A. again. A la Aly, Mike to the rescue?

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 10/12/13 (@6:34 a.m. ET)

**Ibid at @ 9:09 a.m. ET.

Kooiman: “Looking Up My Skirt?”

Clayton: “That’s my business!” Fox & Friends Weekend co-anchor Clayton Morris got rather randy with his brand new co-host Anna Kooiman this morning. Perhaps, sharing the curvy couch with ever caprid guest co-anchor Mike Jerrick and oft frisky meteorologist Janice Dean today may have helped embolden the bad boy.

As the show was concluding, Anna asked Clayton to show the audience what they were doing and pointed to the computer in front of her lap.* As Clayton picked it up and showed the viewers a live stream of the show, he invited them to go to “Google Hangout” to view the After the Show Show. Looking down and pulling her leg slightly upward, Anna racily queried, “So, that wasn’t looking up my skirt was it?”

Leaning in toward Anna, a playful Janice naughtily interjected, “I’m sure you’ll have lots more viewers!”

Looking down at the computer screen, Anna smilingly exclaimed, “No it wasn’t….I checked. I checked!”

But, Clayton racily suggested otherwise: Grabbing his coat for effect, he bawdily replied, “That’s my business!” Looking down at the computer screen again, Clayton’s eyes bulged suddenly: then, glancing back at Anna appreciatively, he beamed bawdily.

Roaring with laughter, Janice rocked back and clapped her hands in delight. Chiming in, Mike concluded, “And, how do you trump that?”

Indeed.

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 09/29/13 (@ 9:58 a.m. ET)

Flattered Janice: “Fox News Weather Skank”?

Anna Kooiman: “This must have been in your dancing days, Janice!” Fox News meteorologist Janice Dean reminded her fans why they love her this morning: their gorgeous gal is shameless! After a headlines story on the new Universal Studio Simpsons theme park opening this summer in Orlando, FL, Janice proudly revealed, “A little known fact, years ago on the Simpsons, they actually referenced a Fox News weather girl, and at the time, I was the only news weather girl. I believe the line was something like, ‘This coffee is hotter than a Fox News weather lady but the word lady wasn’t used: It was something that was a little bit more, uh, not morning show friendly.”*

“Risque?,” chuckled fill-in Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Anna Kooiman. As fellow guest co-host Mike Jerrick nodded, “I hear you,” co-anchor Clayton Morris asked, “Were you flattered?” Without answering, FNC meteorologist Janice Dean declared, “You could probably Google it.” Grinning and shimmying in her seat, Anna replied, “This must have been in your dancing days, Janice!”

Correcting Anna’s inadvertent slight subtly, Clayton interjected, “Which still are going on.” Appreciatively, a smiling Anna concurred, “Well, true!”

For those, who missed that Simpsons episode “lauding” JD, the self-dubbed “Dancing Machine,” Janice teased, “But, one of these days, I will add it on to my resume tape.”

Unfortunately, Janice did not reveal her salty Simpsons moniker today: However, she frankly disclosed it in her FoxNews.com blog post titled, “Hotter than a Fox News Weather Blank…” on November 23, 2007. In that article, she wrote, “I was…reminded of a line off that show that many Simpsons fans have since referenced in my presence (mainly my little brother!). It was a few years ago and at the time I was strangely flattered…Here’s the line: ‘Careful. It’s hotter than a Fox News weather skank.'” Proudly, she added, “It’s pretty funny. I think that I have it on tape somewhere.”

Unfortunately, the author has not found that Simpsons tape yet, Janice. But, please post it: your F&FW fans would love to see it!

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 05/25/13 (@ 7:37 a.m. ET)

“Ms. Cuomo”: I Will Forever Be the Goldie Hawn

Sandra Lee: “You’re just naughty, naughty guy, aren’t you?” Fox & Friends Weekend fill-in co-host Mike Jerrick had Food Network host Sandra Lee, NY Governor Andrew Cuomo’s live-in love, blushing and aflutter this morning. In a segment promoting Lee’s latest (25th) cook book entitled “Every Dish Delivers,” the long-tressed blond beauty saucily declared that mole was a chocolate sauce with a kiss, a kick with a kiss: When F&FW guest co-anchor Anna Kooiman seemingly responded, “You weren’t supposed to go there,” Lee laughed, “I meant that in the sweetest way.”

Ever the bawd, Mike mischievously remarked, “Speaking of kisses, are you still with the governor?” Reddening yet smiling, Lee riposted, “You’re just [a] naughty, naughty guy, aren’t you? Yes, I will forever be the Goldie Hawn of the cooking world!”

Milking the moment of Lee’s chagrin, a grinning Mike jibed, “It’s been going on for quite a few years now, Sandra.” Blushing all the more, Lee retorted, “Eight! And, he loves my chicken.” As Anna sweetly stepped in between Mike and Lee, an appreciative Lee jested, “I can always depend on my girlfriends to help me out. We’ll box you [Mike] right over.” Subsequently, she stammered, “Okay, so these are wonderful, um, uh, enchilada burritos. Now, you have me all flustered!”

In response, Mike facetiously exclaimed, “I’m sorry!” As almost an aside to her audience, Lee declared, “Look at what he does.”

Look indeed: “Naughty, naughty guy” Mike Jerrick may have got the goods. Even though she insisted that she would “forever be the Goldie Hawn of the cooking world,” the “all flustered” Lee sounded as if her new novel “The Recipe Box” (“with striking similaries to New York’s first couple” according to the WSJ)  may reveal the true story. I.e., she is expecting a marriage proposal from her politician bedfellow of almost decade.

“Proud” Tucker: It Hasn’t Impaired My Dignity!

Co-host Clayton Morris: “I gave that up a long time ago!” Fox & Friends Weekend co-anchor Tucker Carlson seems to finally be “let[ting] us in” as his co-host Alisyn Camerota obliquely requested over three months ago. Yesterday, the usually uptight conservative Daily Caller co-founder decided to do a “down and dirty” tease with the “Clean Momma” a la his Dancing with the Stars days [via F&FW meteorologist Rick Reichmuth‘s  vid]:* In fact, he even did an encore in the subsequent fitness segment illustrating the “Dustpan-Busting Butt-Burner” for Clean Momma who “want[ed] to watch [his] butt go up and down.”** Today, Tucker dutifully donned with good humor F&FW‘s de rigeur St. Patrick’s Day kitsch alongside Aly and Clayton for the amusement of their F&FW fans. [Aly assistant Jenn Rivera pics: 1, 2.]

Over three months ago (on his third day as unofficial new F&FW co-host), Tucker and his co-anchors (Aly and guest co-host Mike Jerrick) had their personal signatures analyzed by handwriting expert Michelle Dresbold, author of Sex, Lies and Handwriting.*** When Tucker showed Ms. Dresbold’s his autograph (“TSMC”), she incredulously declared, “Most people, at least, cursive their signature: When you print, it…means you’re not letting anyone see you too much. And, you only write your initials which means ‘I’m really not letting you see too much: I’m doing quick as I can and get it done.”

Downplaying Dresbold’s rather frank assessment, a stone-faced Tucker joked, “It’s like ‘Tears of a Clown’: I keep it inside.” Not letting him off so easily, Aly interjected, “Um, why won’t you let us in, Tucker?” Smiling and pointing at his heart, Tucker riposted, “I don’t know. Because it’s too dark inside.”

Perhaps, with the assistance of a few early morn Irish coffees, Tucker finally opened himself a mite on this St. Paddy’s Day weekend. But, if he really wants to win his F&FW viewers over, Tucker will have to follow Aly’s intimated advice to let them in. Otherwise, FNC’s sun-“Shine” may reconsider allowing the “other Carlson” to brighten too many more F&FW dawns.

[Author’s aside (re title and subtitle): As the third hour of F&FW opened, Tucker donned a fake green mustache and Clayton and Aly sported matching gawdy sunglasses. Undaunted, Tucker protested, “We’re not too proud to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day on this program….It hasn’t impaired my dignity!” With a slight smile, Clayton comically replied, “I gave that up a long time ago!”]

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 03/17/13 (@ 8:49 a.m. ET)

**Fox & Friends Weekend – 03/17/13 (@ 3:22/4:12)

***FNC vid via Mediaite.

Aly: “Tucker Carlson Here with Us, of Course!”

Unless Bill Shine rolls the dice again. Perhaps, no more needed to be said by Fox & Friends Weekend “regular” co-host Alisyn Camerota. For Tucker Carlson, the Daily Caller co-founder, who made his debut on F&FW as a FNC contributor almost four years ago, it seems that the die is cast: I.e., Alisyn Camerota, queen of the F&FW curvy couch, signaled strongly today that Tucker is indeed erstwhile F&FW co-anchor Dave Briggs‘ permanent replacement.

Almost a month ago, F&FW‘s “After the Show Show” producers appeared to hint that Tucker would replace the recently departed Dave Briggs as the new F&FW co-host when they presented a brief A.S.S. intro of him: During that program, Aly and guest co-anchor Mike Jerrick strongly suggested that Tucker would be the F&FW co-host in the new year 2013. Moreover, approximately, three weeks ago, Aly indicated that Tucker was being “hazed” as a “new co-host” when he haplessly was the “coughing victim” during an F&FW “Fighting the Flu” segment. Furthermore, about two weeks ago, Tucker seemed to be given equal status with Aly and co-anchor Clayton Morris as a F&FW chryon introduced the three as a apparent team at the start of each hour. Last weekend, when Tucker and Aly were off (and subbed for by Mike Jerrick and Anna Kooiman, respectively), it appeared that Tucker may have simply been co-host of the month (January 2013) to the author: However, Aly seemed to try to put that thought to rest today when she introduced her two co-hosts in the second hour, saying, “Mike Jerrick in for Clayton. Tucker Carlson here with us, of course!“*

Caveat: Tucker has not been added to the Fox & Friends Weekend website profiles alongside Aly and Clayton nor has he been included as an FNC “On-Air Personalities: All Anchors & Reporters.” Perhaps, Bill Shine, FNC’s Executive VP of Programming, may want to roll again if the reserved, awkward Tucker is not well received by F&FW fans. Or, perhaps, if Aly is allowed to leave the ship that she has saved for bluer waters, e.g., F&F weekday (if Gretchen Carlson gets her own FNC gig or her contract is not renewed) and Shine decides to start afresh–again.

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 02/09/13 (@ 7:32 a.m. ET)

Awkward Carlson: Camerota’s “New Co-anchor”?

F&FW’s Aly cat: This is sort of a hazing process, Tucker.” Yesterday, Daily Caller co-founder Tucker Carlson returned to co-host Fox & Friends Weekend for the third week in a row. According to one J$P source (Hannity’s Hair) two weeks ago, “@TuckerCarlson [is] not just guest hosting…[but]…will assume full time role on @ffweekend replacing Dave Briggs“: However, Johnny Dollar himself indicated that he had heard that Tucker was simply a “temporary sub.”

Even though the author initially agreed with J$P‘s primary source since Tucker seems somewhat ill at ease on the curvy couch (a la another Carlson on the regular week day version), recent comments from Tucker and his F&F Weekend co-hosts seem to indicate otherwise.

Approximately, one week ago, F&FW‘s “After the Show Show: Hectic schedules” (January 13) featured Tucker in a seemingly introductory mini profile. As A.S.S. started, co-anchor Alisyn Camerota asked, “What is it like to do four hours of morning television?”* In answer, Tucker jested, “I really enjoyed it: It only seems like three hours and forty-five minutes to me.” Appearing to let the cat out of the proverbial bag, guest co-host Mike Jerrick interjected, “Save this tape, ladies and gentlemen. A year from now we will see if he still talks like that.” When, Tucker subsequently remarked, “I’ve loved it. I can’t believe it’s over. I feel sort of sad,” Aly, perhaps, rather revealingly, replied, “Well, we can arrange how to make you feel better next weekend and the weekend after that, etc.”

Yesterday (six days later), in the penultimate segment of F&FW Saturday, Tucker appeared in the “Fighting the Flu” segment where he would be “coughed on” by a medical school dummy.* Donning a black salon apron, blue surgical mask, and clear goggles as he awaited an unwelcome expectoration, he sported the look of a hapless fraternity pledge about to be spoofed. Introducing FNC’s “Medical A Team” member Dr. Marc Siegel report on how easily flu could be spread to her F&FW audience, Aly heartily laughed,  “And, this is what we do to new, new co-anchors who, when they come on the show.” Perhaps, more tellingly, she added, This is just sort of a hazing process, Tucker!”

If so, welcome to the show, Tucker!

*After the Show Show – 01/13/13 (0.15/5.44)

Briggs Jabs at Jerrick: But, Hits Branson (Vets)

“Hot spot of the Midwest…Mike Jerrick’s favorite place.” Aly’s bosom? Of all days, Fox & Friends Weekend co-anchor Dave Briggs chose Veterans Day to nettle benightedly his older guest co-host Mike Jerrick, and by extension, elder-friendly Branson, Missouri. Segueing to a segment with Lt. Colonel Oliver North about Branson’s Veterans Homecoming Week honoring World War II veterans on, Dave jested, “It’s the live entertainment hotspot of the Midwest…Branson, Missouri, Mike’s favorite place.”* Mitigating smartly Dave’s ill-timed barb, Mike interposed, “That’s right!”

Subsequently, Lt. Col. North interviewed several senior vets who had served from as far back as 1957. When he had concluded his segment and had tossed back to Dave, Mike, and co-anchor Alisyn Camerota, Dave deftly declared, “I’ve never been to Branson!” Immediately, Mike exclaimed, “I’ve been there! It’s great!” Chiming in, Aly declared, “You [Dave] would love it!”

Calling Aly out, inadvertently or not, Dave asked, “You’ve been, right?” In answer, Aly admitted, “No, I haven’t.”

Ebulliently, Briggs replied, “I would love it. I gotta go!”

When Aly interestingly indicated that she’d like to go DollyWood instead for her next vacation, Dave deftly declared, “We should do a show from Branson and a show from Dollywood.” In reply, Aly aptly exclaimed, “Bingo!”

As the denoement of Dave’s diminutive debacle concluded, Mike, ever the satyr of the dawn, subtly gestured toward Aly’s bosom, randily remarking, “You have so much in common with Dolly Parton!” Smiling, Aly racily replied, “I know that!” Rolling his eyes in mirth, Dave playfully snorted and wisely stayed silent this time.

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 11/11/12 (@ 9:30 a.m. ET)

Mike Jerrick: “Debby Does Tampa”

The boy can’t help it.  Fox & Friends Weekend guest co-host Mike Jerrick had to go there: Heboken Now’s randy rake who “will jump at every opportunity to make a double entendre” could not resist the one virtually served up to him today on a platter by his co-host Alisyn Camerota (and the WMO).

As the third hour of F&FW began, Aly announced, “We have an extreme weather alert for  you because a storm is brewing and it has its eyes on the Gulf Coast and parts of Florida. Debby is gearing up to become a tropical storm: We’ll tell you what’s in store straight ahead.”

Segueing to his intro of an upcoming segment (ironically subtitled “Bottom Up Economics”), Mike, “F&FW’s Golden Goat,” bawdily deadpanned, “Debby does Tampa.”

In other words, Mike does F&FW. But, not in the same way. Happily.

Aly: “Poor Karl Rove! Poor Karl Rove!”

Redux Dave: “Wow. ” Yesterday, FNC contributor Karl Rove‘s faux pas of calling F&FW co-anchor Alisyn Camerota “Gretchen [Carlson]” yesterday was characterized as “awkward” by Mediaite and “addled” by Carpe Diem. Seemingly, in response, F&FW producers and co-hosts Aly, Dave Briggs, and Mike Jerrick (fill-in for Clayton Morris) appeared eager to quickly put the incident to bed.

When the second hour of F&FW started with its trio seated on the curvy couch as usual, Aly welcomed guest co-host Mike Jerrick to the show. Subsequently, Dave turned to Aly, deadpanning, “Good to have you back, Gretchen.” Seemingly simulating amusement, Aly chuckled, “Poor Karl Rove! Poor Karl Rove!”

As Mike guffawed, a grinning Dave elaborated, “For those of you that weren’t here watching yesterday, Karl Rove, he called her [Aly] Gretchen.” Offering a rather lame excuse for Rove’s gaffe, Mike interjected, “Well, he can’t see us.” Sympathetically, Aly insisted, “I know! And, also, that’s just a…slip….He knows who I am!”

Then, defending her maladroit “wooer” further, Aly protested, “He does protect me from you [Dave] all of the time. That was his goal to protect me from Dave and Clayton which is a very altruistic, honorable goal, I believe.”

Interjecting, Mike jested, “Yeah. He’s scary! It’s fine, Juliet [Huddy]. It’ll be fine!”

Then, appearing to spoof his response yesterday to Rove’s gaffe, a slightly smiling Dave feigned outrage, arching his eyebrows, tilting his head, and monotoning, “Wow.”

Shaking her head, Aly pointed to Mike, giggling, “Well, nah. Makes sense!”

Nah. But, it was funny. Poor Karl Rove!

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 01/08/12 (@ 6:59 a.m. ET)

Juliet: “It’s a Kitchen Cousins Sandwich!”

Huddy happy in the middle–again: “I’m a giver! I’m a giver!” Sexy Fox & Friends guest co-host Juliet Huddy just “can’t help it“: The carnal cougar seems to relish being in the center of a manwich. Less than four months ago, Juliet celebrated being in a “Philly sandwich” between fellow F&FW co-hosts Clayton Morris and Mike Jerrick: Yesterday, she relished being the treat in a “Kitchen Cousins sandwich” between beefcake kin Anthony Carrino and John Colaneri.

In a pre-break promo for the upcoming Kitchen Cousins segment almost mid-show, Juliet stood between the two cousins in the F&FW kitchen.* As the camera panned in on the three, Juliet coaxed the boys to get closer to her, saying, “Come get in here! So handsome, you guys.” As she fanned her flushing face with her hand, Juliet eyed each cousin suggestively, purring, “It’s a Kitchen Cousins sandwich!” As she laughed wickedly, a chagrined Colaneri blushed and goatish Carrino replied, “Oh, boy!”

Later, when F&F co-anchor Steve Doocy began the interview with the two cousins, an off-camera Juliet yelled, “Hoooo!”** As the boys smiled, Steve turned around toward his randy co-host, instructing, “Stop hooting over there, Juliet.” Subsequently, after querying them about their HGTV show and whether they were looking for more kitchens to redo, Steve jested, “And, Juliet said you’re also looking for girls.”

When the abashed Kitchen Cousin guys reddened, producers went to a split screen of them and Juliet. In response, Colaneri stammered, “I guess, I, are, you [Juliet], you just exploded something,” as Carrino chuckled, “Thank you, Juliet.” Pointing back to the boys, a smiling Juliet proclaimed, “I’m a giver! I’m a giver!”

Arching his eyebrows, Steve looked back at Juliet, exclaiming, “What!” Embarrassed, Juliet stuttered, “I didn’t mean it like that. I mean, you know, I’m just, jus [sic] saying, you know.” As Carrino howled and clapped his hands with glee, Juliet insisted, “I’m just giving, giving the information.”

Jaunty Juliet: Just giving.

*Fox & Friends – 12/07/11 (@ 7:41 a.m. ET)

**Ibid at 7:52 a.m. ET.

Huckabee: “An Angry Phone Call from My Wife”

“Burkas would be a lot more popular if that were a burka.” In an appearance of Fox & Friends Weekend this morning, former Arkansas governor and erstwhile preacher Mike Huckabee, weighed in on politics, then he humorously dared to assay sexy fashion. Perhaps, to his detriment.

Huckabee, host of his eponymous FNC weekend show, may have heated things around his home hearth this morning with a rather racy remark on F&FW. After he was interviewed by co-hosts Alisyn Camerota, Dave Briggs, and Mike Jerrick about GOP candidates Herman Cain and Rick Perry, Dave teased an upcoming segment, asking, “And, why is Kim Kardashian wearing a burka?”* As a picture of a busty Kim practically spilling out of her strapless dress at the “Spin Crowd” premiere party appeared on screen, Aly exclaimed, “That’s not a burka!” Chuckling, Huckabee jested, “Burkas would be a lot more popular if that were a burka!”

As Aly laughed, Dave declared, “And, we will not have the governor weigh in on that.” Chortling, he rejoined, “I just did!” As the audio began to fade and the camera panned away, a grinning Huckabee remarked, “I’ll probably, I’ll get an angry phone call from my wife.”

Huckabee on Huckabee tonight?

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 10/15/11 (@ 8:39 a.m. ET)