Sexy Kimberly Guilfoyle’s “Basic Instinct”

Juan Williams: “Wait! Wait! You’re distracting him!” Saucy Kimberly Guilfoyle scored on more than a few levels with her Five co-hosts and fans in her “bowdlerized” Basic Instinct display of last week. As Kimberly revealed her dominance in b’ball on Friday (06/07/13), she brought “rowwr power” to a whole new level.

In the Five segment designed to showcase the co-anchors shot-making prowess–or lack thereof (a la toddler Titus Ashby’s shellacking of Shaq on Jimmy Kimmel) co-hosts Kimberly, Juan, Eric Bolling, Andrea Tantaros and fill-in Brian Kilmeade took turns at throwing mini-basketballs at a small toy goal.* Starting off their friendly rivalry to see who could score the most points in twenty seconds, Brian supplied several balls to Kimberly. As the short-skirted lovely began to lob them at the basket with much success, Brian scurried to and fro to deliver them back to San Francisco’s comely former first lady.

Clapping enthusiastically, an adoring Juan exclaimed, “Yeah, Kimberly! Oh! Oh! Go, Kimberly, go! Rack ’em up!” As Kimberly eagerly scrambled for the balls and gave viewers and Brian a PG-rated Basic Instinct, she was given more than double the time that she had been actually allotted. As Kimberly began to score with alacrity, literally and figuratively, Five rival beauty Andrea exclaimed, “Who’s keeping score?”

Subsequently, an apparently addled Juan threw more than a few air balls in his ill-fated attempt to match Kimberly. When former Pittsburg Pirate draftee Eric Bolling tried to get his “game on,” comely Kimberly kicked her right gam up Rockette-style. Pointing to his gorgeous colleague, an ardent Juan declared, “Wait! Wait! You’re distracting him! You can’t kick your legs to distract him!”

Apparently, Kimberly must have done so. As Eric completed his feckless effort, Kimberly pulled her hiked skirt back down and raised her hands in triumph, exclaiming, “Oh, yeah! Wooh, hooh!” Subsequently, when Andrea begin her successful distaff attempt, Kimberly shouted, “Go! Girls rule! Yeah!” And, they did.

Futilely, sports guy Brian tried to compete thereafter with little success. When he had finished, he queried, “Do we have a winner, control room?” After the producers seemingly whispered in his ear, Brian declared, “Kimberly and Andrea have tied.” Apparently, abandoning his formerly “so hot” Andrea for the moment, Juan raised Kimberly’s hand high in the air in victory, proclaiming her “the champ.”

Sexy Kimberly Guilfoyle: “The girl [just] can’t help it!”

*The Five – 06/08/13 @5:40 p.m. ET (Saturday re-airing of prior day)

[Author’s aside: Sorry, CR readers for the delay: “Cleaning Out My Closet.”

Smoldering Sambolin: “That’s So Wrong!”

Berman: If that’s why you’re Googling [Paul Ryan] shirtless, that’s, that’s your own business. Early Start co-host Zoraida Sambolin, the caliente CNN senorita too oft with the dress just a little too long and the heels just a little too short, let her fans know today that she is assuredly smoldering–even on the job. And, her co-anchor John Berman gave her good-natured grief for it.

During a post-V.P.-Debate segment, Zoraida and John interviewed Google Election Team member Abbi Tatton for trending Internet search terms as Vice President Joe Biden and GOP V.P. nominee Paul Ryan battled.* After Tatton indicated that “Biden,” “conflating,” “malarkey,” and “who is winning the debate” topped the list, John asked her also for what Google users searched in conjunction with the candidates names. In response, she noted that they looked for Biden’s age, his “laughing,” and his wife Jill whereas they were searching for something quite different with Ryan, e.g., “shirtless” and “workout.”

Meanwhile, a seemingly embarrassed Zoraida began to chuckle. Looking over at Zoraida, John teased, “This is during the debate people are saying, ‘Paul Ryan shirtless’?” In reply, Tatton disdainfully declared, “While they’re talking about Afghanistan, Iran, the ayatollahs, then people are searching for what does he look like without his shirt on.”

Defensively, Zoraida riposted, “Well, because it’s such a big deal that everybody’s talking about it. I gotta tell you [that] I must admit that I also Googled it.” Grinning, a reddening Zoraida added, “This was early on, though.”

Subsequently, in the following EP block, a smiling Zoraida introduced the very next story, saying, “Morning after the Vice Presidential debate and there’s a lot of talk about Paul Ryan pumping iron. It’s our late night laughs.”** After airing clips of late-night comics Jimmy Fallon and Jimmy Kimmel mocking Ryan’s Time Magainze iron man poses with weights, Zoraida turned to a smirking John: Sheepishly, Zoraida insisted, “Alright, the intense fascination is because he works out to P90X which is really an intense workout.”

Shaking his head incredulously, John jested, “You know, you don’t have to explain yourself to me. If that’s why you’re Googling him shirtless, that’s, that’s your own business!”

Blushing, Zoraida retorted, “I did it for my job!” Chuckling, she playfully slapped John on the arm. After their shot had ended, an off-cam Zoraida exclaimed, “That’s so wrong!”

So wrong. Or, so right for a blossoming chemistry between Zoraida and John.

*Early Start – 10/12/12 (@ 5:54 a.m. ET)

**Ibid at @ 5:59 a.m. ET.