Abby’s View Table: Whose F&FW Curvy Couch?

Now she’s gone. Who will rule the F&FW curvy couch? Yes, sadly, today, the sexy short-lived former queen of Fox & Friends Weekend, good girl Abby Huntsman Tweeted, “It’s official! Thrilled to return to where it all began for me @abcnews …never dreamt back then I’d one day join @theviewabc table.” Now, the question is what lovely royal will be given Abby’s crown and scepter to reign on the F&FW curvy couch after her untimely abdication.

Probably, the hottest F&FW co-host was the comely Kiran Chetry; the naughtiest, perhaps, was Juliet Huddy (who always smilingly blushed when the blonde heard her show intro’d by Playboy Playmate Jenny McCarthy, saying, “Yes, the drapes match the rug”), and the strangest transmogrifying one, Alisyn Camerota, a sexy, smart gal who later “woke” to another whole new world–CNN.

Regrettably, the sexy, sharp Puerto Rican Five siren Kimberly Guilfoyle left FNC under some less than flattering accusations. And, strangely, the leggy lovely Nicole Petallides left her FBN:AM fans without an explanation but, happily, she still graces the screen as a reporter for FBN. Molly Line seems to be a possibility since she seems to be getting more air time on FNC on shows such as Outnumbered as of late: Formerly, she oft guest co-hosted F&FW when the suits were seemingly trying to transition Aly out–without success.

So, who should be the next F&FW queen? If it were up to the author, FNC would bring back Nepalese goddess Kiran Chetry: The former F&FW & America Morning co-host has the killer looks, personality, and smarts to arouse her F&FW fans to a fabulous morning. (She’s done her time, and she has been loyal to the network and her fans.) If not Kiran, Nicole would be awesome on the curvy couch as the brainy, famously leggy Greek beauty who will waken F&FW viewers with a jolt of pulchritudinous femme fatale java.

Nevertheless, the author believes that the odds favor Rachel Campos-Duffy who has begun to occupy the center seat lately on both Fox & Friends and Fox & Friends Weekend. She’s a lovely lady who came to the public’s consciousness as a cast member on MTV’s The Real World: San Francisco before becoming a regular guest co-host of The View–and she’s the wife of Rep. Sean Duffy (R-WI). Like former F&FW co-anchor Elisabeth Hasselbeck and Survivor contestant (the predecessor of Anna Kooiman, who was the predecessor of Abby), Rachel starred in her own reality series and she has political connections like Abby Huntsman (whose dad is the current Ambassador to Russia).

Stay tuned.

 

Elisabeth Out: Anna In?

Fox & Friends: A new year, a new blond beauty? Former Fox & Friends co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck has left the F&F building: Will F&F Weekend co-anchor Anna Kooiman take her place on the curvy couch? She certainly seems to have the edge. On the day after Elisabeth abdicated her F&F throne tearfully, Anna seized the queen’s center seat joyfully. Tomorrow, on the real first F&F day of year (after the holidays), Anna will reign anew on the curvy couch between Fox & Friends kings, Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade.

Whether Anna will be officially crowned the new queen of the Fox & Friends curvy couch remains to be seen. If she is so elevated, her vacancy on the F&FW throne may well be filled with blasts from the past. Just this weekend, former frequent F&FW guest co-anchor Molly Line made a rare appearance Saturday and erstwhile F&FW co-host Juliet Huddy seemed likewise to audition Sunday. However, whilom F&FW co-anchor Ainsley Earhardt would seem to be best positioned to regain her place on the F&FW curvy couch from her perch on the Fox & Friends First leg chairs after she returns from maternity leave.

Let the F&F fun begin!

F&F’s Special Megyn Kelly: “Now I’m Curvy”

Preggers pretty: “This is interesting for me.” America Live anchor Megyn Kelly returned regally to Fox & Friends‘ curvy couch this morning to fill-in for the seemingly increasingly absent Gretchen Carlson. Looking resplendent in a purple modest dress with a demurely plunging neckline, the gravid beauty joined co-hosts Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade for a Boston Marathon tragedy special edition. Like F&F Weekend co-anchor Alisyn Camerota who oft takes the field for F&F‘s “A Team” on other momentous occasions, Megyn provided her usual grace and necessary gravitas to carry the show with the boys for four long hours of in-depth coverage of the horrific killings and the monstrous maimings on Patriot Day as the Bean City showcased the national’s oldest marathon.

After F&F coverage of the chaos for over two long hours, Megyn decided to give her audience a short interlude of levity. Mid-show, subsequent to Boston-based FNC correspondent Molly Line‘s report subtitled “Boston Terror Bombings,” she started to discuss the survivors’ loss of their limbs and security and to contrast their plight with the comfort of the co-hosts and their viewers, saying, “Here we are…on the curvy couch.” Interrupting herself mid-sentence, Megyn declared, “This is interesting for me. I did it [co-hosting] once seven years ago”: Placing both her palms on her stomach, she chuckled, “But, never pregnant!”

Pointing to Megyn’s baby bump in reply, Steve smilingly jested, “Now you’re curvy to go with the couch!” Grinning jauntily, Megyn replied, “Now, I’m curvy, right! You’ve got a curvy anchor to go on the curvy couch!”

Vintage Megyn Kelly: serious news–with her saucy take. Lawyer journo GQ “hot”!

[Author’s aside: For Megyn’s AL announcement of her third-to-be, cf. here for video.]

Ainsley Earhardt “in Shape”: Blushing Bride 2B?

Ainz proudly rocks the rock–on her left ring finger! Early this morning, Fox & Friends First co-host Ainsley Earhardt seemed to signal to her fans the apparent news that she is off the market anew. Before the show started, the usually “ringless” Ainsley Tweeted her followers the upcoming headlines stories and included a photo of herself and co-anchor Heather Nauert together: Both had extra large smiles as Ainsley displayed her hands side by side with a single ring, seemingly, an engagement ring (on her left ring finger).

Perhaps, F&F fans should have suspected nuptials for Ainsley again might be in the offing exactly two weeks ago today. On June 4, she had Nikki Glor a/k/a Nikki Fitness on F&FF for a fitness segment entitled “Wedding Workout: Exercises to Get You Ready for the Big Day.” Dressed in white and ringless as usual, she had Nikki put her through the paces: But, before she did so, Ainsley seemed to have a Freudian slip: exhorting Nikki, she exclaimed, “Alright, get us in shape!”

Ironically, Ainsley may have got the sly idea from her FNC colleague Molly Line who did virtually the same thing almost a year ago to the day (June 5, 2011) as guest co-host on Fox & Friends Weekend. On that show, a single Molly enthusiastically worked out with Nikki in a “Bridal Boot Camp” segment. Only four days later on Fox and Friends (weekday), Molly announced that she was engaged and proudly showed off her new stone.”

Ainsley, your own announcement soon? If so, congratulations!

[Author’s aside: More irony. Nikki rejoined Ainz today on Fox & Friends First on a “Summer Fitness Products” segment: Even though the cameraperson caught some indirect close-ups of Ainsley’s new bling, neither she nor Nikki uttered a word. F&FF – 06/18/12 (@ 5:52 a.m. ET) ]

Clayton: “The [Aly] Update”

“Where’s Alisyn?…It might be 2014.” This morning Fox & Friends Weekend co-anchor Clayton Morris and his co-hosts Dave Briggs and Molly Line joked anew about Alisyn Camerota’s personally promised return. After welcoming viewers mid show, a grinning Clayton remarked, “Emails, we saw people out here for the concert series [asking], ‘Where’s Aly? Where’s Alisyn?’ We said, ‘Uh, it might be 2014.'”*

As Molly laughed heartily, Dave chuckled, “Maybe, by the time the presidential elections come around.” Perhaps, not quite ready to relinquish her reins anytime soon, Molly exclaimed, “She’s still here [FNC], though. She’s here all the time! She’s everywhere. She’s all over.”

Then, trying to reassure Aly’s fervant F&FW fans, Clayton insisted, “She’ll be back soon. The maternity, the maternity shuffle is still continuing. So, that’s the update.”

At least, “that’s the plan for now.” As an absent Aly stays adrift on FNC weekdays for three months running with appearances on America’s Newsroom, Happening Now, America Live, and even the weekday Fox & Friends, “the maternity shuffle” claim seems less and less credible. Nevertheless, Clayton may be right.

Who knows? Maybe, Aly will return for her third stint at Fox & Friends Weekend in 2014–if the F&FW ship again starts to list with “the new girl.”

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 07/16/11 (@ 8:01 a.m. ET)

“Update” update: Apparently, Aly is still not so sure about her return either. When a Twitter follower of hers asked, “Miss you on weekend with Dave and Clayton….[a]re you ever coming back [to F&FW]?,” Aly evasively answered, “I miss the guys too!”

Shine’s Line: “That’s the Plan for Now”

“I’m Molly Line in for Alisyn Camerota.” Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Molly Line so welcomed her viewers to the show four times this morning with that insistent line.* Perchance, the current Fox & Friends Saturday co-host who twice laughed seemingly at the prospect of the return of “regular” co-host Alisyn Camerota to F&FW intended to iterate the company line to convince doubtful Alisyn Camerota fans that their favorite host will some day return to her center seat on the curvy couch.

Of course, Molly, “the new girl” of F&F, may well find her task to be Sisyphean at best. After all, Aly has been absent for almost three months from Fox & Friends Weekend and her frequent appearances on other F&F daytime shows, i.e., America’s Newsroom, America Live, Happening Now, and even weekday Fox & Friends in the meantime seem to belie Molly’s now fervent assertions.

At the end of F&FW today, a, perhaps, telling exchange occurred. After F&FW co-anchor Dave Briggs promo’d the program tomorrow, he declared, “Molly Line will be back Saturday, I believe. I assume.” Arching her eyebrows, a smiling Molly shrugged her shoulders and exclaimed, “That’s the plan right now. Yeah!” Chuckling, Dave echoed, “That’s the plan for right now.”

That’s the plan for now: Molly Line in for Alisyn Camerota next Saturday, too. With Aly on vacation all this weekend, Fox News Senior VP of Programming Bill Shine’s “plan for now” for Aly ironically will at least be longer than his plan for his new “shakeup” summertime series The Five (if she returns next weekend). However, unfortunately, for Aly’s acolytes her recently personally promised return seems neither imminent nor foreseeable.

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 07/09/11 (at the top of each hour – 6:00 a.m. ET; 7:00 a.m. ET; 7:59 a.m. ET; and 8:59 a.m. ET)

The Five: Shine’s “Scramble” or Shakeup?

Waiting for Megyn Kelly? Thursday Fox News Channel Senior VP of Programming Bill Shine announced that FNC will temporarily replace the Glenn Beck Show this summer with The Five. According to his press release, the prosaically dubbed opinion program will consist of five constantly changing “FOX personalities” such as Greg Gutfeld, Dana Perino, Judge Andrew Napolitano, etc. who will be joined by various guests. On an optimistic note, Shine stated, “The Five brings together an eclectic group of FOX talent whose knowledge of key issues and unique insights will undoubtedly make for a dynamic program.”

Not too surprisingly, Shine’s decision to air this inchoate, amorphous show was not universally well received. To wit, Inside Cable News was not the least bit impressed. Rather, blogger Spud scoffed, “This is probably the most uninspiring offering FNC has put on the air….FNC is apparently out of new ideas and unsure of a future course of action regarding 5pm.” He acerbically added, “Nobody involved in this project should feel too secure about its future when the press release announcing it spells out that it has a short shelf life: This is FNC in a rare public manifestation of scramble mode…coming up with something to fill the space without regard to the suitability of that kind of programming at that time of day.

Spud appears exactly right that Shine is “coming up with something to fill the space without regard to [its] suitability.” However, in the author’s view, he may be mistaken that Shine is in “scramble mode.” Rather, Shine seems to be in the midst of a daytime shakeup.

By adopting the summer-long The Five, Shine places the spot virtually on a short hold for something–or, someone. In the author’s opinion, that someone may well be America Live anchor Megyn Kelly who is still on maternity leave. When she returns in a month or so, Shine will finally have the obvious slot for his still “rising star.”

In fact, Shine appears to have already anticipated Kelly’s move from the America Live slot to the later five o’clock hour.  Since she left for maternity leave in April, Shine has appeared to prepare for the possible transition by auditioning Kelly’s fellow FNC female daytime anchors for the America Live anchor seat. To wit, he has showcased Martha MacCallum (America’s Newsroom), Alisyn Camerota (Fox & Friends Weekend), and Gretchen Carlson (Fox & Friends weekday) in Kelly’s chair, not in the usual short rotations, but for long stints instead. In doing so, he has already acclimated the AL audience to their presence and their respective audiences to their absence. Not to mention, he has already brought in “the new girl,” Molly Line, to Fox & Friends Weekend to fill the empty seat in any future musical chairs.

Scramble or shakeup? Time will tell. Soon.

Apologetic Aly: “I’ll Be Back”

Camerota: “I do feel like I sorta vanished without a trace….I’m sorry for all the questions.” Today, Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Alisyn Camerota called in to her weekend show to reassure her concerned fans that she would indeed return to F&FW. At least, sometime in the future.

Before Aly’s telephonic appearance, F&FW producers ran a comedic collage of clips of her and her co-anchors Dave Briggs and Clayton Morris, at Shea Stadium on FOX fan night yesterday.* In the final snippet, America’s Newsroom co-host Bill Hemmer grabbed a reluctant Aly and led her away from her F&FW boys. As Dave and Clayton protested, Aly threw them a kiss and remarked, “I’ve got to go with Bill. I’m sorry. I’ll be back!”

As the humorous montage ended, Clayton dryly commented, “That’s the story of our lives, Bill Hemmer yanking Alisyn away. And, we…managed to get Alisyn on the phone this morning.” On cue, Aly animatedly exclaimed, “Hey, guys! What’s going on, my estranged TV husbands and their new wife [Molly Line]. Hey, Molly!” As Molly laughed, Clayton commented, “I know, my TV wife: we miss you.”

Shaking his head with a wry smile, Dave interjected, “You left us for Bill Hemmer. It was right there.”

Amused, Aly explained, “Well, it’s not permanent. As you know, I’m very fickle. And, I like the whole sort of square dance of different men. So, I’ll be back.”

Clayton responded, “Oh, good. Yeah, it was great to see you last night.” Then, echoing his excepted explanation of two weeks ago, he remarked, “We’re doing the maternity shuffle right now. Explain this maternity shuffle because you’re in the midst of it. Right?”

Elucidating somewhat, Aly answered, “Yeah, Megyn [Kelly of America Live] is out because she had a pretty baby girl; and Martha MacCallum [of America’s Newsroom] is filling in her; and I’m filling in for Martha; and sometimes I’m filling in for Megyn; and Molly is so sweet to fill in for me.” Then, she rightly remarked, “I know it’s been a crazy couple of months.”

After some subsequent impertinent palaver, Clayton commented, “Finally, we’ve been able to answer all of that question [sic] because we get e-mails and Tweets all the time, ‘Where’s Aly?’ So, now everyone knows.”

Apologetically, Aly answered, “I know, and I feel so badly about that. I mean I do feel like I sorta vanished without a trace even though I am hiding in plain sight from 9 to 11 every morning on the East Coast. But, I do really miss you guys, and I really miss all of our loyal viewers.”

Conciliatorialy, Aly concluded, “And, so I’m sorry for all the questions. And, I’m just happy to see you guys last night, and…we’ll be reunited.”

But, when? During Megyn’s maternity leave, Martha has repeatedly gone home to America’s Newsroom while Aly has stayed away from Fox & Friends Weekend. Something afoot, Aly?

[Author’s aside: In the intro to the final hour of the show, Molly remarked, “In for Alisyn. Get a chance to hang out with you guys until she returns: “The new girl” appears to intimate that she has secured the center seat on the F&FW curvy couch until Aly comes back–at least, on Saturdays. As for Sundays, it seems that Ainsley may have similarly locked in her sub role for Aly: During Aly’s phone-in (7:34 a.m. ET), Dave declared, “We want to say that we really appreciate your, your fill-ins here: Molly and Ainsley have done a great job.” N.B. No mention was made of Juliet Huddy or any other Aly sub.]

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 06/18/11 (7:32 a.m. ET)

Dave: Aly “Back on FOX & Friends Some Day!”

“Every picture tells a story: don’t it?“ Early this evening, F&F Weekend co-host Clayton Morris sent a NY Mets Fox Fan Night photo of his F&FW colleagues–sans Alisyn Camerota–to his Twitter followers. Perhaps, almost apologetically, F&FW co-anchor Dave Briggs later Tweeted, “Great to see my good friend @AlyatFox at Citi Field, we’ll get her back on FOX & Friends some day!“

Perhaps, “some day,” F&FW fans. But, not tomorrow: Earlier today, F&FW‘s sensual “new siren,” Molly Line Tweeted, “In NYC! @ffweekend tomorrow with Clayton and Dave! http://yfrog.com/gypkeyej.”

And, probably, not Sunday either. With Aly away, Ainsley Earhardt seems to have reclaimed her Sunday center seat again as of late. Especially, with rival Juliet Huddy mysteriously still “on the mend.”

Poor, Aly. Just a week ago today, the “ringless” femme fatale rocked her boys and their Fox & Friends weekday fans hard as she sexily “work[ed] for the weekend.” However, when the F&F Weekend finally came, the hapless beauty was nowhere to be seen. Instead, she reappeared midweek  on the America’s Newsroom stoop–with her wedding band, rediscovered, wrapped securely around her ring finger.

“Some day,” Dave? Apparently, an eternity away, Aly acolytes.

Mike Jerrick: We’re Not Even the “B” Team

Molly Line: “I don’t know what we are: I don’t know what happened.” Nor did Fox & Friends Weekend fans as they were treated Saturday to yet another line-up of co-hosts: “the new girl” Molly Line, golden oldie Mike Jerrick, and steady standby Eric Bolling. Unfortunately, viewers were offered no on-air explanation for the absence of regular co-hosts Clayton Morris, Dave Briggs, and Alisyn Camerota.

As FNC Executive VP of Programming Bill Shine continued to offer up his F&FW iterations du jour with little apparent rhyme or reason, F&FW fans had to look off-air for a clue.  While Aly remained mute on her Twitter page, Clayton and Dave offered their own explanations. Before the show (Friday), Clayton Tweeted, “Enjoying a family vacation….Be back next week.” After the show (Saturday), Dave, tardily wrote, “We’re both at separate wedding’s…sleeping in. RT @MyrtleBeachSC2: WHERE R U AND CLAYTONhttps://twitter.com/#??”

As I pen this article, yet another F&FW incarnation appears: Steve Doocy, Ainsley Earhardt, and Mike Jerrick. As Ainsley and Mike laugh, Steve remarks, “Live from Studio E where there are three people who have never worked together at the same time. Welcome to Fox & Friends.”

Exactly. To paraphrase Forrest Gump, “Life is like waking up to Fox & Friends Weekend. You never know what you are going to get.”

Molly Line Sly? But, Bride-to-Be!

“Will you marry me”: Whose Line [was] it anyway? Today Fox & Friends guest co-host Molly Line, proudly revealed to her co-anchors, Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade, and the F&F audience that her long-time boyfriend had asked her to marry him this past weekend.* She excitedly said that his proposal occurred between her flight Saturday (back from New York to Boston) and her flight Sunday (to Pensylvania). Elaborating, Molly stated that he had played a song on the guitar for her and had changed the last few words to “will you marry me”; that she had said yes and that it was “a given” that she would; and that she and he had known for a long time. However, she did not disclose what might have prompted her boy to finally commit.

Nevertheless, Molly’s F&F Weekend fan have a very good idea what may have got her man in line. Saturday, Molly seemed to give him a less-than-subtle hint when she enthusiastically joined fitness instructor Nikki Glor’s “Bridal Boot Camp” workout in a sexier-than-usual low-cut pink top. During Molly’s very first exercise, the “Honeymoon Hop,” Glor presciently advised, “This will get your heart racing, [and] it’ll tone up those legs, especially, if you’re wearing a short dress…if you’re getting married like on a beach.” Racily, Molly replied, “Yeah. Gotta get ready for the honeymoon, too, with a beach body!”

After viewing that somewhat suggestive segment, Molly’s paramour may have realized all the more that his beauty already had that “beach body” and that she was assuredly ready for their honeymoon. In fact, she showed him that she was still the lithe and lissome lovely that danced the hula as she vied for the crown of Miss West Virginia in 2000. Of course, the ole boy may have also been possibly spurred on by Molly’s co-host Dave Briggs, who seemed rather taken Sunday with F&F‘s “new girl.”

Whatever the case may be, best wishes, Molly, and, congrats, to your lucky chap!

[Author’s aside: For a pic of Molly wearing her new bling, link here.]

*Fox & Friends – 06/09/11 (@ 6:00 a.m. ET)

Dave’s “Small Little Crush”: Softer, Sexier Molly?

Molly: Breasts? Got ’em, too. Fox & Friends Weekend‘s “new girl” Molly Line seemed intent on proving that she was all woman Saturday. After the author suggested that the generally “high-necked garb” gal might well soon be tutored by her ebony sister Harris Faulker to show her “softer, sexier side,” Molly seemed to have listened and learned well. In her very next F&FW appearance after the CD article, Molly showcased her erstwhile hidden distaff charms to her F&FW fans.

During a Saturday F&FW segment entitled “Bridal Boot Camp, Molly enthusiastically joined Nikki Glor (of Nikki Fitness) for a cardio/full-body bride-to-be workout. Eschewing her more usual demure dress, Molly confidently wore a somewhat low-cut, hot pink top. Apparently, having proudly proved a week earlier to her F&FW viewers during Fleet Week that she had “what it takes” as to her gluts, she seemed eager to show that she was similarly worthy as to her upper sphere–or, spheres.

Consequently, Molly went through Glor’s paces of deep plunges and torso contortions unabashedly as her every moment was closely chronicled by the F&FW camera. Later, when Molly had completed her rigorous regimen, she tossed back to her co-hosts, Dave Briggs and Clayton Morris: Smiling appreciatively, Dave declared, “Nice job, ladies.”

Subsequently, after Dave and Clayton had finished promoting the post-break stories and as the block drew to a close, an eager F&FW cameraman returned to close-ups of Molly–not to mention, her oscillating opalescent orbs–as she happily performed one last aerobic activity for her audience.

Apparently, Molly’s siren call did not end then and there for Dave: a day later, as he co-anchored F&FW Sunday with Ainsley Earhardt and Clayton, he seemed still mesmerized by the brunette Boston beauty. When Clayton promoted a new Fox News application during the program that allowed users to access various show segments, Dave devilishly declared, “You can even watch the “Bridal Boot Camp” segment from yesterday with Nicole Glor–if you’re just, just hanging out, you know.”*

As Dave showed the audience the iPad with Molly exercising, Ainz heartily laughed. Slightly less animated, Clayton chuckled and pointed at Molly’s video, commenting, “”This is what Dave was doing yesterday when he got home: He said, ‘You know, I really want to watch the “Bridal Boot Camp” segment again.'”

Turning to Dave with a smile, Ainsley teased, “Dave, I wonder why.” Perhaps, pausing for a moment with a slight tinge of jealousy (as she remembered how Dave had suggested that she herself was a “hot mama” a mere week and a day earlier), Ainsley mischievously added, “He has a small little crush.”

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 06/05/11 (@ 6:27 a.m. ET)

Clayton: Aly’s “Maternity Shuffle”

Or, Bill Shine’s three-card monte? Just when is Fox & Friends Weekend co-anchor Alisyn Camerota returning to her show?  Three weeks ago, co-host Clayton Morris said, “She might be back next weekend.” Two weeks ago, he said, “We don’t know.” Saturday, he said, “The maternity leave shuffle continues. Uh, Aly still filling in for Martha [MacCallum on America’s Newsroom] who’s filling in for Megyn [Kelly on America Live]: So, a few more weeks.”*

As Clayton continued to fecklessly try to allay the fears of Aly’s fans Saturday, guest co-host Molly Line laughed yet again and co-anchor Dave Briggs smiled once more. But, Aly’s acolytes continue to wonder why she still has not returned to her F&FW post in eight weeks. Not unnoticed is that Aly’s “maternity shuffle partner” Martha MacCallum has returned to her own program, America’s Newsroom, for the last two weeks (if but for a day or so): furthermore, Martha said that she will also be on AN this coming Thursday and Friday.**

However, not only has Aly not gone back to F&FW but also she has not answered her Twitter followers (including the author) as to when she will. Perhaps, Aly has simply moved on or FNC Executive VP of Programming Bill Shine has moved her on. Remember, almost two months before Megyn Kelly went on maternity leave, Shine appeared to do an audition for the curvy couch center seat on F&FW (and F&F). (Cf. “5 Straight Days: 5 Hot Hostesses!“)

Shine, no more unexplained F&FW exits, e.g., Kiran Chetry, Page Hopkins, etc. Your FNC viewers and Aly’s fans deserve better. Is Aly still your F&FW starter?

*Fox & Friends Saturday – 06/04/11 (@ 9:01 a.m. ET)

**America’s Newsroom – 06/03/11 (@ 10:59 a.m. ET)

F&F: Late P.M. Fun

Gretchen/Ingraham “catfight”; Brian’s Talkers profile; and Gretchen’s “sexual photos” promise. Fox & Friends memorable moments post-Memorial Day. Late: But, fun–and, for the record.

Gretchen/Ingraham “catfight”: Rowrr! Tuesday F&F co-host Gretchen Carlson got off on the wrong foot as she introduced Laura Ingraham, her former “Ice-Off!” dance-off rival and F&F regular contributor.* Introducing Ingraham, Gretchen remarked, “Now it’s time to bring in Laura Ingraham as we do every week. Although it’s not always on this day, is it, Laura?”

Smiling, a sarcastic Ingraham responded, “Um, what’s today? Is it Tuesday?” Bemused, Gretchen answered, “Tuesday.” Seemingly, slightly  miffed at Gretchen’s inadvertent dis, a grinning Ingraham retorted, “Yes, it is Tuesday. Gretchen, come on, come on! I’m now, I feel really, really sad now. I’ve got to.” Clueless, Gretchen queried, “Why?”

Then, as a slightly miffed Ingraham playfully rose from her seat as if to go, co-anchor Steve Doocy interjected, “[I]t’s our Tuesday girl, Laura Ingr[aham]. Hey, sit down! Sit down.” Smiling sheepishly, co-host Brian Kilmeade added, “Laura, come on!”

Throwing her hands up in the air, an embarrassed Gretchen unconvincingly declared, “Well, I’d, I’m sorry. I thought that that kept it fresh.” Her eyes narrowing, Ingraham riposted, “Wait, weren’t you hosting on the weekend last time I checked?” Chuckling, Brian interposed, “Ah, ha, ha! That hurt!”

Seemingly, trying to prove to Ingraham that her jaunty jab did not hurt, Gretchen emphatically replied, “Yes! Thank you very much. I love Saturdays and Sundays.”

Shaking her head, a smiling Ingraham answered, “Me, too. I’m just teasing.”

Of course, the “B Team,” the F&F Weekend crew of Clayton Morris, Dave Briggs, and Alisyn Camerota–or, now, it it Molly Line or Ainsley Earhardt–might find scant humor in Ingraham’s acidic broadside.

Kilmeade’s Profile: Wednesday Brian celebrated his first year as solo anchor of his radio show, Kilmeade & Friends, formerly known as Brian & the Judge (Napolitano). Perhaps, fittingly, Brian graced the cover of the talk media trade publication Talkers and was featured inside. On F&F Wednesday, Brian was praised by both Steve and Gretchen for the distinct honor: when Gretchen lauded him for his “whole full-page article” on page 12, Brian waggishly remarked that on a following page he had “absolutely no clothes on”: Mercifully, Talkers readers are in fact spared.** Congrats, Brian!

Gretchen’s “Sexual Photos” Promise: “I don’t know about you guys but I can unequivocally say that I have not taken sexual photos.”*** In her colorful commentary with Brian and Steve about “Weinergate” as F&F began, Gretchen so ridiculed Rep. Anthony Weiner’s tergiversation about whether the arousal shot heard ricocheting around the Beltway was his own. An hour later, she similarly twice more emphatically declared her own abstinence from taking such pics to her co-hosts.

After Gretchen did so, Steve went one step further, asserting, “I haven’t taken any pictures of myself in my underwear and I don’t know that anybody has taken any of me.”**** Then, pointing his finger at Brian, he teasingly taunted, “Brian, can you say the same thing?” After a brief moment of silence (comedic or not), Brian responded, “Yes. Thank you.” Laughing heartily, Gretchen interjected, “Uh, oh!”

Unlike Brian, Gretchen did not “see” Steve’s statement. I.e., she remained mute as to her not knowing that anybody had taken any “sexual photos” of her. Again, an oversight or simply smarts from Bill O’Reilly’s Culture Warrior?

*Fox & Friends – 05/31/11 (@ 8:04 a.m. ET)

**Fox & Friends – 06/01/11 (@ 6:32 a.m. ET)

***Fox & Friends – 06/02/11 – (@ 6:05 a.m. ET)

****Ibid. @ 7:07 a.m. ET.

Molly Line’s Gluts: An F&FW Afterthought

Molly’s end: bottom of the Carpe Diem barrel? Before moving on from Fox & Friends’ “new girl,” the author was compelled to include one last Molly Line (Memorial Day Weekend) item. Mercifully, at an end for now, at least, for some–especially, perhaps, her potential F&F Weekend rivals, Ainsley Earhardt and Juliet Huddy. Not to mention, this dry but displaced author (with a backlog of potential posts).

Apparently, as a newcomer to Fox & Friends, Molly is in the process of learning that she is the “Fox” and that her boy bookends are the “Friends.” Accordingly, she has already heeded the apparent advice of her former WFXT-Fox 25 (Boston) colleague and current F&FW meteorologist Rick Reichmuth not to “break a leg” but to “show some leg.” Last Saturday, Molly upped the ante, not only generously displaying her magnificent gams for her FNC viewers during the show but also flaunting her taut tush for them during Fleet Week naval exercise routines. [In the F&FW navy fitness segment entitled, “Do You Have What It Takes?,” a lissome Molly worked her “nice and tight” gluts exclusively as the F&FW cameraperson panned in frequently to marvel at her rear in motion and at rest.*]

However, unlike F&FW‘s proud putative queen, Alisyn Camerota, Molly still seems loathe to exercise her upper body strength. I.e., the naif vixen still disdains the distaff domain of her decolletage as she still studiously swaddles her torso in her high-necked garb de rigeur. Perhaps, FNC’s Harris Faulkner, will soon tutor her alabaster sister with a few pointers for fit femme fatales with a softer, sexier side.

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 05/28/11 (@ 5:40 a.m. ET)

Dave: “We Love Molly” But Ainz “Hot Mama”

Briggs/Earhardt’s “Heat and Meat” II: a Fox & Friends [Memorial] Weekend sequel. In 2009, a frisky, ringless Ainsley Earhardt co-hosted Memorial Day with co-anchors Dave Briggs and Clayton Morris: Yes, she racily commented on Dave’s “meat” but, more infamously, she–or, more specifically, her rump (and Janice Dean’s arse) was ogled by the appreciative eye of Dave. While Carpe Diem reported the bawdy humor, Jay Leno lampooned Dave’s eyeing of the delightful derrieres of Ainsley (and Janice). Not too surprisingly, in 2010, FNC Executive VP of Programming Bill Shine put in a somewhat more boring beauty, Courtney Friel, to co-host the F&F Memorial Day edition.

However, this year, Shine gave the buxom blonde another chance as he let Ainsley once again co-host the F&F Memorial Day special (and the prior Sunday for good measure). Even though she did have to share her holiday-weekend-center-seat-curvy-couch duties with the “new girl” Molly Line (who subbed for regular co-anchor Alisyn Camerota on F&F Friday and Saturday), she did get more air time as she saucily celebrated the early beginning of the holiday weekend as F&F’s Fleet Week NYC 2011 troop correspondent aboard the U.S.S. Iwo-Jima Friday.

Before her first segment Friday, Ainsley appeared live in a preview excitedly waving to the F&F audience as she happily posed with the sailors on deck the U.S.S. Iwo-Jima.* As she did, Ainsley’s belly button was bared and producers simultaneously aired Trace Adkin’s “Hot Mama” paean. When F&F returned from break, Dave introduced Ainsley, saying, “It is Fleet Week in New York City, and our own Ainsley Earhardt on a very tough assignment today aboard the U.S.S. Iwo-Jima.”**

Flirtatiously, Dave continued, “Ainsley, I don’t know if you heard but the song introing [sic] you was “Hot Mama,” we played earlier: I’m guess the troops there share the sentiment.” As Clayton gave a thumbs up in ardent agreement and Molly chuckled, Ainsley cooed, “Awww….You are so sweet!” In response, Dave boyishly ducked his head and grinned.

A few days later, on Memorial Day, Dave, Clayton, and Ainsley reprised their ribald “meat” revelry in spite of the fact that the only cooking segment included only Dave and three other males. When the Monday program commenced, Clayton jested, “Can  you handle more meat this morning, Dave?” In answer, Dave retorted, “Clayton, no, I cannot. I am maxed out, man!”

Unfortunately or not, Dave was assuredly not completely”maxed out”: perhaps, it was the “hand holding” less than ten minutes later by Ainsley.*** After Ainsley had read the headline news stories, Dave placed his left hand on the curvy couch. Shortly, thereafter, Ainsley put hers down next to Dave’s and touched it briefly and then moved her hand forward. When she did, Dave tapped her hand thrice and she began to respond in kind. As she did, Clayton joked, “You guys holding hands over here?” Smiling sheepishly, Dave retorted, “We are holding hands.” Laughing, Ainsley, added, “Kumbayah!”

Approximately, twenty minutes later, when F&F returned after the first half hour break, Clayton comically commented, “[T]his morning, we asked you earlier in the show–Dave put out the call: Please send us photos of your meat.”**** Dave interjected, “And, no, that does not include you, New York Congressman [Anthony Weiner]. We don’t want your photos!” Shaking her head with a naughty smile, Ainsley guffawed, “You did not just say that!”

Yes, he did, Ainsley. Even if Molly turns out to be the new F&FW siren that Dave loves, he does not seem to be able to shake you, his first F&FW wife. But, who knows? Maybe, he won’t have to after all.

* Fox & Friends – 05/27/11 (@ 6:38 a.m. ET).

** Ibid at @ 6:43 a.m. ET.

*** Fox & Friends – 05/30/11 (@ 6:09 a.m. ET).

**** Ibid. at @ 6:32 a.m. ET.

Molly Line: “The New Girl!”

Aly: “Hi, Molly! Great to see you.” Today, America’s Newsroom guest host Alisyn Camerota so welcomed Molly Line, her Fox & Friends Weekend fill-in for three weeks running, to AN to report on New York politics.* Unfortunately for their F&FW fans, the two failed to even mention any Fox News politics as to Aly’s absence (and Molly’s consequent presence) on the show lately.

However, yesterday, Fox & Friends co-hosts, Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade did allude to this new dynamic on F&FW. As the show began with Molly in the middle on the curvy couch, Steve said, “Welcome aboard, folks, to Fox & Friends. Brian, introduce the new girl!”

Grinning broadly, Brian jested, “I’m sorry, Steve. I’m so rude! Molly’s here today.”

Giggling, Molly replied, “Thanks, guys. Happy to be here!”

Turning to Molly, Brian observed, “And, you’ve been here a lot, though. You’ve been on the weekends quite often.” Smiling, Molly answered, “Yeah, I’ve been doing the weekends with Clayton and Dave. It’s been great. Everybody’s been wonderful.”

Subsequently, segueing to the headlines, Steve remarked, “Well, we know that you are normally posted in Boston and it’s great to have you today because we have a lot of breaking news.”

Seemingly, assuring Bill Shine, FNC Executive VP of Programming, that she was more than happy with her new commute, Molly promptly replied, “Yeah. A quick little hop down.”

“The new girl”: THE new girl? With Aly’s return uncertain and FNC anchor Juliet Huddy “on the mend,” Molly seems to be making a good case for it.

[Caveat: FNC correspondent Ainsley Earhardt’s appearance Saturday may indicate that the former F&FW co-host herself may be now under consideration to rejoin Clayton Morris and Dave Briggs on the F&FW curvy couch.]

*America’s Newsroom – 05/24/11 (@ 9:22 a.m. ET)

Aly Back? Molly Laughs–Again

Dave shrugs and Clayton replies, “We don’t know.” Fox & Friends Weekend co-anchor Alisyn Camerota has been strangely missing from her show for about six weeks, and her fans are beginning to wonder if she is ever coming back. And, the “temporary” trio of co-hosts, Clayton Morris, Dave Briggs, and Molly Line do not appear eager to allay any fears of Aly’s fans. In fact, Aly herself recently seemed to suggest cryptically that rumors of her departure from the show may be true.

Yesterday, for the second week running, Clayton, Dave, and Molly, discussed Aly’s absence from the show in a rather curious fashion. As F&FW concluded Sunday, Clayton remarked, “Our thanks to Molly Line for filling in this week. To those of you who asked when Aly’s coming back, she says, “Early June.” As he did, guest co-anchor Molly Line laughed heartily while a smiling co-host Dave Briggs pursed his lips, shrugged his shoulders, and shook his head repeatedly (as if to say no). After a pregnant pause, Clayton continued, “We don’t know.”

Similarly, last week (May 14 – Saturday), the three played out a similar scene when discussing Aly’s possible return. In it, the three almost appeared to have been rehearsing for yesterday: Molly chuckled at the prospect of Aly’s coming “back in the near future”; Dave smilingly shrugged his shoulders and shook his head (as if to say no); and Clayton uncertainly said, “She [Aly] might be back next weekend. Aly, let us know.” [Italics added for emphasis.]

Perhaps, Aly has done just that. Indirectly. Last Thursday (March 19), Aly Tweeted, “Not sure why I feel compelled to retweet RT @vin16_in_jersey: @AlyatFox the best utility anchor in the biz. u need to get your own show….” Perchance, Aly was so “compelled” not because she was deemed the best utility anchor in the biz but, rather, she, in fact, does need her own show now.

F&FW’s New Siren?

Fox & Friends [Strange] Weekend: Juliet Huddy a no-show, Alisyn Camerota in “limbo,” and Molly Line happy to be there. For F&FW fans, Juliet’s broken promise, Aly’s uncertain future, and Molly’s viability were all legitimate areas of inquiry after last weekend.

The drama this weekend actually began a week earlier on May 7 after Juliet’s successful subbing for Aly on F&FW on Friday.  To her Twitter followers, she Tweeted, “Great time with da boyz this am. Show flew by. On FnF’s Fri and Sat this coming week.” Nevertheless, Juliet did not appear on either show as she had said: rather, Ainsley Earhardt guest-hosted Friday for Gretchen Carlson on F&F, and Molly Line temp’d Saturday for Alisyn Camerota on F&FW. Interestingly, Juliet did not explain either of her absences to her rather perturbed Twitter followers.

The second segment of this strange saga got even more intriguing when F&FW regular co-host Dave Briggs welcomed Aly’s fill-in on Saturday. As the second hour of the show started, Dave declared, “Good to have Molly Line in for Alisyn who we understand may be back in the near future at some point”: simultaneously, seemingly almost knowingly belying his own words, Dave shook his head sideways continuously.” As Molly chuckled, Dave shrugged his shoulders and threw his hands into the air, adding, “Which we hear. We hear.”

Subsequently, almost aping his co-host’s head gestures but much more subtly and gazing down often to boot, co-host Clayton Morris offered, “Yeah. I said, ‘Aly, where, where have you been? And, we love all of the wonderful folks who have been kind enough to fill in.” Concurring, Dave interjected, “We love Molly,” (as he patted her on the shoulder). Then, rarely looking at his audience and his co-hosts, Clayton continued, “Aly said, ‘I miss you guys.’ So, she might be back next weekend.”

In response, Dave looked at Clayton almost stone-faced as he appeared to try to stifle a smile. Meanwhile, Molly beamed broadly and arched her eyebrows as if in disbelief. Seemingly less than sincere, Clayton concluded, “Aly, let us know.”

Reader, rather than Aly, perchance, it will be FNC Programming SVP Bill Shine who will let Clayton and the rest of us know. As the author noted last week, Molly seemed to have given F&FW rival guest co-host Juliet Huddy the upper hand when she missed a golden opportunity on F&FW Mother’s Day edition to connect with her viewers by sharing more of her less than “Perfectly Precious” self with them. Perhaps, Shine decided to give her a second chance to do just that this past weekend by pulling Juliet at the last moment in favor of Molly.

Of course, Shine’s new F&FW filly may well have to go around the track quite a few more times if she is ever to gain the sure legs of his proven thoroughbred Aly. Or, Juliet.

Update: Juliet explains no-show? About twenty minutes after Carpe Diem posted this article, supra, Juliet Tweeted, “Threw my back out during spring cleaning – thank goodness for a massage therapist who deserves Nobel prize for saving my sanity.”

Molly Line: Too “Perfectly Precious”

To be Alisyn Camerota’s replacement? Gollum’s gold and Juliet’s gain. Green Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Molly Line missed a golden opportunity Sunday to introduce herself to viewers as co-anchor Alisyn Camerota extended her month-long hiatus from FNC’s top-rated weekend morning show. Apparently, with little thought to the fact that fan fave Juliet Huddy appears to be vying to reclaim her former F&FW center seat, the Boston beauty–and her mom–seemed to inanely squander a choice chance to connect with the F&FW viewers but, rather, riantly reveled in her relative obscurity.

As F&FW showcased the individual co-hosts and their respective mothers Sunday, Molly and her mom were first in the queue. When F&FW producers got both Lines on the “telephone line” for a family segment, Molly and her mom Pat began to exchange the usual pleasantries.* Hoping to spice up the conversation a soupcon, co-anchor Clayton Morris interjected, “Pat, we need a little story about Molly here: can you share….some skinny on your daughter? Any embarrassing stories from childhood?”

Laughing, Ms. Line mused, “Embarrassing stories? Let’s see. ” Feigning fright, Molly exclaimed, “No, no…no, no.” Trying to nudge Ms. Line on despite her daughter’s protests, Clayton inquired, “Alright, here’s embarrassing. What did she get you for Mother’s Day?”

Prosaically, Ms. Line answered that Molly’s presents were plants and began to elaborate. Interjecting impatiently, co-anchor Dave Briggs pleaded, “But, but Mom’s changing the subject. Pat [Line], we know you have a story.”

Interrupting, Molly remarked, “No, I liked Mom changing the subject. That was brilliant! Mom’s a smart lady. Mom’s a smart lady.”

Shaking his head, Dave asserted, “Pat, we’re not letting you off the hook.” Turning to Molly, he commanded, “Zip it! Zip it!” Then pointing at the camera, Dave declared, “Pat, tell us something. We don’t get to anchor with this young lady every weekend.”

Chuckling, Ms. Line replied, “No, she was [a] perfectly precious child.”

A perfectly precious child. Out of the camera’s view., Clayton derisively responded, “Awww!” Much more appreciative of her mom, Molly replied, “You are brilliant! You’re brilliant. See, she’s on my team. She’s in my corner.” Then, perhaps, speaking for his F&FW audience, Dave aptly exclaimed, “Boo!”

“Boo,” indeed. Molly, your mom is doubtlessly brilliant and in your corner but Clayton and Dave were quite right. You may be a Fox but you need to learn to be more of a Friend, especially, if you ever hope to anchor with them every weekend.

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 05/08/11 (@ 7:34 a.m. ET)