Vanilla Perino: As*, As*, Baby?

Or, a**hole, Ed Henry? Today, Five co-anchor Dana Perino and chief White House correspondent Ed Henry celebrated “good times.” Apparently, during the Real Story with Gretchen Carlson (featuring Dana), Ed revealed, “She [Dana] called me an equal opportunity blank–I won’t use the word, I think it starts with an ‘a,’ and it’s not a very nice word.”

Poor Ed should not feel too bad about Dana’s acerbic aspersion. He is in good company: Wannabe rapper “Tiny D” called her co-host and bud Greg Gutfeld an a**hole during a break on The Five about two years ago according to Five co-anchor Bob Beckel. On the other hand, the self-professed “biggest fan” of Bush 43, may have been having a flashback to the day that W infamously called that pesky, impertinent NYT reporter an “a**hole.”

Ed: an a**hole? Probably not–unless he gets on Dana’s bad side!

F&F: Late P.M. Fun

Gretchen/Ingraham “catfight”; Brian’s Talkers profile; and Gretchen’s “sexual photos” promise. Fox & Friends memorable moments post-Memorial Day. Late: But, fun–and, for the record.

Gretchen/Ingraham “catfight”: Rowrr! Tuesday F&F co-host Gretchen Carlson got off on the wrong foot as she introduced Laura Ingraham, her former “Ice-Off!” dance-off rival and F&F regular contributor.* Introducing Ingraham, Gretchen remarked, “Now it’s time to bring in Laura Ingraham as we do every week. Although it’s not always on this day, is it, Laura?”

Smiling, a sarcastic Ingraham responded, “Um, what’s today? Is it Tuesday?” Bemused, Gretchen answered, “Tuesday.” Seemingly, slightly  miffed at Gretchen’s inadvertent dis, a grinning Ingraham retorted, “Yes, it is Tuesday. Gretchen, come on, come on! I’m now, I feel really, really sad now. I’ve got to.” Clueless, Gretchen queried, “Why?”

Then, as a slightly miffed Ingraham playfully rose from her seat as if to go, co-anchor Steve Doocy interjected, “[I]t’s our Tuesday girl, Laura Ingr[aham]. Hey, sit down! Sit down.” Smiling sheepishly, co-host Brian Kilmeade added, “Laura, come on!”

Throwing her hands up in the air, an embarrassed Gretchen unconvincingly declared, “Well, I’d, I’m sorry. I thought that that kept it fresh.” Her eyes narrowing, Ingraham riposted, “Wait, weren’t you hosting on the weekend last time I checked?” Chuckling, Brian interposed, “Ah, ha, ha! That hurt!”

Seemingly, trying to prove to Ingraham that her jaunty jab did not hurt, Gretchen emphatically replied, “Yes! Thank you very much. I love Saturdays and Sundays.”

Shaking her head, a smiling Ingraham answered, “Me, too. I’m just teasing.”

Of course, the “B Team,” the F&F Weekend crew of Clayton Morris, Dave Briggs, and Alisyn Camerota–or, now, it it Molly Line or Ainsley Earhardt–might find scant humor in Ingraham’s acidic broadside.

Kilmeade’s Profile: Wednesday Brian celebrated his first year as solo anchor of his radio show, Kilmeade & Friends, formerly known as Brian & the Judge (Napolitano). Perhaps, fittingly, Brian graced the cover of the talk media trade publication Talkers and was featured inside. On F&F Wednesday, Brian was praised by both Steve and Gretchen for the distinct honor: when Gretchen lauded him for his “whole full-page article” on page 12, Brian waggishly remarked that on a following page he had “absolutely no clothes on”: Mercifully, Talkers readers are in fact spared.** Congrats, Brian!

Gretchen’s “Sexual Photos” Promise: “I don’t know about you guys but I can unequivocally say that I have not taken sexual photos.”*** In her colorful commentary with Brian and Steve about “Weinergate” as F&F began, Gretchen so ridiculed Rep. Anthony Weiner’s tergiversation about whether the arousal shot heard ricocheting around the Beltway was his own. An hour later, she similarly twice more emphatically declared her own abstinence from taking such pics to her co-hosts.

After Gretchen did so, Steve went one step further, asserting, “I haven’t taken any pictures of myself in my underwear and I don’t know that anybody has taken any of me.”**** Then, pointing his finger at Brian, he teasingly taunted, “Brian, can you say the same thing?” After a brief moment of silence (comedic or not), Brian responded, “Yes. Thank you.” Laughing heartily, Gretchen interjected, “Uh, oh!”

Unlike Brian, Gretchen did not “see” Steve’s statement. I.e., she remained mute as to her not knowing that anybody had taken any “sexual photos” of her. Again, an oversight or simply smarts from Bill O’Reilly’s Culture Warrior?

*Fox & Friends – 05/31/11 (@ 8:04 a.m. ET)

**Fox & Friends – 06/01/11 (@ 6:32 a.m. ET)

***Fox & Friends – 06/02/11 – (@ 6:05 a.m. ET)

****Ibid. @ 7:07 a.m. ET.

Ainz May Freeze Her Eggs

Fox and Friends Weekend guest co-host Ainsley Earhardt may not have any children yet but she certainly seems more than willing to try. In a segment on a New York doctor’s innovation to allow women to have children later in life, Ainsley discussed with her co-hosts Dave Briggs and Clayton Morris her childless state and how she might remedy her situation in the future.

Earlier, the three co-anchors conversed about in vitro fertilization and older women’s growing prospects of birthing babies. Dave declared, “The question…when is it too old to have your eggs frozen? When is it too old to give birth to children?” To which, Ainsley then replied, “Freezing the eggs, I have friends that are doing this…in their late thirties, their early forties. They’re freezing their eggs because they’re not married yet.” Co-anchor Clayton Morris interjected, “Fertility drops after forty years old.” “Exactly,” responded Ainsley. She continued, “So when they’re ready to use these eggs, then they’re available. It’s very expensive, though: I want to say its like $20,000 a pop.”

Wisely, Dave said, “As a man, I have a hard time telling a woman when it’s too old to have children. Clayton agreed but added, “At some point, it becomes about you rather than the children.” Dave declared, “But, these women in their mid-to late-forties, I say go for it.”

Ringless, Ainsley responded, “I agree. Hey! I’m not going to knock it ’cause…I’m no spring chicken and I don’t have kids. If I get to be forty years old and I don’t have my kids, then, yeah, I might consider freezing my eggs. We’ll see.”

Chuckling, Clayton jested, “Please keep us updated on that.” Smiling abashedly, Ainsley answered, “I will: I’ll let you know.” Dave chimed, “Yeah, please do!”

Ainsley’s new favorite song? Ice, Ice, Baby!