“Proud” Tucker: It Hasn’t Impaired My Dignity!

Co-host Clayton Morris: “I gave that up a long time ago!” Fox & Friends Weekend co-anchor Tucker Carlson seems to finally be “let[ting] us in” as his co-host Alisyn Camerota obliquely requested over three months ago. Yesterday, the usually uptight conservative Daily Caller co-founder decided to do a “down and dirty” tease with the “Clean Momma” a la his Dancing with the Stars days [via F&FW meteorologist Rick Reichmuth‘s  vid]:* In fact, he even did an encore in the subsequent fitness segment illustrating the “Dustpan-Busting Butt-Burner” for Clean Momma who “want[ed] to watch [his] butt go up and down.”** Today, Tucker dutifully donned with good humor F&FW‘s de rigeur St. Patrick’s Day kitsch alongside Aly and Clayton for the amusement of their F&FW fans. [Aly assistant Jenn Rivera pics: 1, 2.]

Over three months ago (on his third day as unofficial new F&FW co-host), Tucker and his co-anchors (Aly and guest co-host Mike Jerrick) had their personal signatures analyzed by handwriting expert Michelle Dresbold, author of Sex, Lies and Handwriting.*** When Tucker showed Ms. Dresbold’s his autograph (“TSMC”), she incredulously declared, “Most people, at least, cursive their signature: When you print, it…means you’re not letting anyone see you too much. And, you only write your initials which means ‘I’m really not letting you see too much: I’m doing quick as I can and get it done.”

Downplaying Dresbold’s rather frank assessment, a stone-faced Tucker joked, “It’s like ‘Tears of a Clown’: I keep it inside.” Not letting him off so easily, Aly interjected, “Um, why won’t you let us in, Tucker?” Smiling and pointing at his heart, Tucker riposted, “I don’t know. Because it’s too dark inside.”

Perhaps, with the assistance of a few early morn Irish coffees, Tucker finally opened himself a mite on this St. Paddy’s Day weekend. But, if he really wants to win his F&FW viewers over, Tucker will have to follow Aly’s intimated advice to let them in. Otherwise, FNC’s sun-“Shine” may reconsider allowing the “other Carlson” to brighten too many more F&FW dawns.

[Author’s aside (re title and subtitle): As the third hour of F&FW opened, Tucker donned a fake green mustache and Clayton and Aly sported matching gawdy sunglasses. Undaunted, Tucker protested, “We’re not too proud to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day on this program….It hasn’t impaired my dignity!” With a slight smile, Clayton comically replied, “I gave that up a long time ago!”]

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 03/17/13 (@ 8:49 a.m. ET)

**Fox & Friends Weekend – 03/17/13 (@ 3:22/4:12)

***FNC vid via Mediaite.

John: Sex or Sleep, Kiran?

Sex in the A.M. American Morning co-hosts John Roberts and Kiran Chetry appeared rather interested this morning in their story, “Sleep or Sex,” (in the 6:00 a.m. ET “A Block”). Introducing the Westin Hotel chain/National Sleep Foundation survey question, John asked, “If you had to choose between a good night sleep or great sex, which would you take?” Randily, he then looked expectantly at Kiran.

In her presumed sexual prime at the age of thirty-four, the comely Kiran batted her lashes, smiled, and coquettishly queried, “You’re asking me?” When he realized that she would not respond more forthrightly, John continued, “The results might surprise you.” Kiran replied, “Maybe, not: depending. But 51% of people…said they’d rather have a perfect night’s sleep over the sex.” Looking into her Canadian/American co-anchor’s eyes, Kiran cooed, “Canadian travelers, they’re the ones that are much more likely to say sex.”

Turning toward the camera, John replied, “They’re a fun bunch of people. Heartily concurring, Kiran exclaimed, “Yeah!” Then, laughing lustily, she tried to catch his eye again. However, he successfully averted her gaze, and merely beamed.

After Kiran’s vacation in Negril (nineth-anniversary), maybe, hubby Chris will let the cat out of the bag.

F&F Bashes Burton Back

Sex sells: White House rails! After Fox News reported that the White House had given out a sex chat phone number accidentally to journalists for an “on-the-record briefing call with Secretary of State Hillary Clinton…to discuss the NATO summit,” Deputy White House Press Secretary Bill Burton was not amused. He acerbically asserted, “A corrected phone number on a press release is probably one of the stupider things FOX News has covered lately.”

Today Fox & Friends hit back. In the show’s first segment, F&F co-anchor Gretchen Carlson stated, “I think it’s totally immature what he said.” Co-host Steve Doocy declared, “Well, Bill, get the number right in the first place and we won’t talk about it!” Carlson continued, “We always commented during the campaign about how nice he was to come on our show, and [sic] how young he was, and how successful he was to have that position but this is an immature line: He’s showing his age by saying a comment like that!”

Later, in the final hour during Geraldo Rivera’s weekly program promo, Steve brought up the issue again. Of Geraldo, Gretch asked, “Why does he [Burton] have to be immature like that?” Geraldo responded, “It’s surly, it’s gratuitous, [and] it’s a cheap shot.”

Fox & Friends or Fox & Fiends? Carpe Diem reports: You decide.

http://www.foxnews.com/politics/first100days/2009/04/02/white-house-corrects-toll-free-number-mishap/

Hemmer: Sex Like Pizza

For Forrest Gump, life was like a box of chocolates. For America’s Newsroom’s Bill Hemmer, sex is like pizza: I.e., if it’s warm, it’s really good and if it’s cold, it’s still not that bad. During a segment on the health benefits of frequent sex for males with Dr. Jennifer Ashton and Megyn Kelly, AN’s Ken made his acute observation after the good doctor indicated that women needed quality (meaningful, relational, and safe) sex.

Megyn was more than happy to “go with the flow.” She animatedly asked Hemmer and Ashton if they knew how often men thought about sex: After both guessed incorrectly, she said, “Once every 52 seconds.” No surprise. Then she queried how often women thought about it: after both indicated often but less than their male counterparts, she declared, “Once every day.” Ashton blushed, realizing that she may have revealed a wee bit too much about her personal life to the viewer.

A.N.’s slogan du jour: Put a little love, er, loving, in your life.

Spitzer’s Sins: Hubris & Hypocrisy

NY Gov. Eliot “Steamroller” Spitzer resigned in disgrace yesterday. Time’s Crusader of the Year and Wall Street’s Elliott Ness brought his promising political career to a premature end. He faces possible Mann Act, “structuring,” and prostitution felony charges. (In D.C., the normally misdemeanor prostitution charge is a felony.) Is he in trouble for the underlying morals charge? No. However, Spitzer prosecuted two call-girl services similar to the one he frequented and did so with strident and acerbic denunciations: ergo, the feds have an extra incentive to make this hypocritical highest law enforcement officer in New York accountable. In his take-no-prisoners white-collar prosecutions and his arrogant strong-arm tactics, he gained favorable media headlines but no faithful friends. Now the emperor has no clothes. In the bedroom or in the pressroom.

As Spitzer fizzles, his alleged courtesan, Ashley Alexandra Dupre a/k/a Kristen can now afford to retire from the world’s oldest profession. The comely chanteuse can now exploit the situation as she contemplates offers to pose for Penthouse (unknown amount) and Hustler ($1,000,000), to give an exclusive to the entertainment show Extra for $100,000, a probable one to write a book, etc. According to FNC, Conde Nast Portfolio reports that her song, “Can You Handle Me, Boy? Sex, Money, Drugs Is What I’m All About,” has been downloaded one million times already and presages that she will earn a million dollars by next week by virtue of her downloads. Further, the New York Post said that Ashley’s MySpace page has had 5 million hits. The Emperor’s Club VIP has been linked to the Duke of Westminister (one of the richest men in the world and the godfather of Prince William), has been seen with P. Diddy’s posse, and has performed in a video with NY rapper Mysterious.

Did Spitzer give us the new Paris Hilton?

Spiders Play Possum 4 Sex

According to a recent study by Trine Bilde of the University of Aarhus in Denmark, the male spiders of the species Pisaura mirabilis who play dead are allowed to have sex longer than ones that do not. All of the male spiders held bribes of food in their mouths but the ones who remained flat and motionless (as the females latched onto the food) were the most successful. The prolonged copulation allows more eggs to be fertilized. Males play possum for sex while females play possum not to have sex: Mars versus Venus?

Cf. http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=080227181655.7ypqks33&show_article=1