Carlson: I’m a Cougar!

“I just don’t act on it.” Rwwr! This morning, Fox & Friends co-anchor Gretchen Carlson made no bones about her attraction for much younger guys after a F&F headline news story about a Utah high school that decided against choosing the “cougar [the cat] as a mascot because it [didn’t] want to offend another kind of cougar.”* In fact, she was “outraged.”

During the F&F mid-show headline news segment this morning, Gretchen’s co-host Brian Kilmeade read the ditched-cougar-mascot account and producers aired an accompanying Cougar Town clip of a flashing Courtney Cox. As he explained, “If you watch Cougar Town, you know Courtney Cox plays an older woman who dates younger men, Gretchen whooped, “Alright!” When Brian elaborated that some parents and school board members were consequently for another mascot, the bawdy former Miss America exclaimed, “Oh, come on! Come on! That is so ridiculous! And, I can say so with authority!”

Amused, Brian asked, “So you are outraged?” Lifting her right eyebrow suggestively, Gretchen cooed, “I’m a cougar!” Pruriently prodding her on, Brian continued, “You’re a cougar?” Shrugging her shoulder and smiling coyly, Gretchen insisted, “I mean I don’t act on it but I’m a cougar.”

Tweaking a randy Gretchen, Brian jested, “Right, I know: Casey’s 29. This is something brand new.” While chuckling at Brian’s playful but, perhaps, untimely reminder of her middle-aged hubby Casey Close, Gretchen protested, “I just mean in age alone–not that I’m gonna act on it.”

Crouching cougar: Hidden Carlson?

*Fox & Friends – 01/20/12 (@ 7:36 a.m. ET)

[Author’s aside: For related Carpe Diem articles, cf. Gretchen: Cougar 2 Pussycat, “Cougar” Carlson: “I’m in the Mood,” “Cougar” Carlson: Saved by the Bell, and Gretch: Rub My Toes, Peter Doocy.]

“Cougar” Carlson: Saved by the Bell?

Rowrrr! With baby-faced beefcake “Extra” weekday host Mario Lopez on the Fox & Friends curvy couch, co-anchor Gretchen Carlson appeared ready to pounce. Thoughts of her very own “Saved by the Bell” boy toy seemed to permeate the atmosphere as she and her co-host, Brian Kilmeade and Steve Doocy, interviewed Lopez and even into the show’s subsequent block.

Before the segment, Brian gave his sportscast and named Minnesota Viking quarterback “forty-year old Brett Favre” as his choice as his weekly “Brian’s Best Player.” In an aside, he joked, “Hey, forty-year olds get off the couch, put on a uniform and the eye black. You can still play!” Before he segued to Lopez’ interview, the forty-three old Gretchen groused, “You make Favre and forties sound like it’s ancient.” Brian deadpanned, “it’s very old.”

During Lopez’ interview, Brian asked, “Am I right [that] you were never a dancer until you gave it a shot on Dancing with the Stars [2006].” After Lopez said that he had not danced since he was a child of five or six, Gretchen racily remarked, “Well, let me just tell you, you still have the moves!”

Later, when the F&F producers put up a pic of Lopez donning ladies’ lingerie, a Merry Widow variant, for FOX’s Nip/Tuck series, Gretchen oohed, “Aww, man! She suggestively added, “I understand the inside story on this was that you didn’t like the way your feet looked in the shoes but that some people liked your butt.” Reddening, Lopez asked, “Wait, what inside story is that?” Before she could answer, Brian interjected, “Yeah, what is going on, Gretchen? What are your sources?” Undeterred, Gretchen continued, “That’s what I read. I read the chicks are envious of your butt.” Apparently, rather ready to move on, Lopez deflectively declared, “I did not know that but…I was surprised they found heels…for a size eleven shoe.”

However, in the very next block, Gretchen was still purring. As she and Steve discussed mammogram and self-exams in a health care segment with Dr. Mehmet Oz (the host of the Dr. Oz Show” jested, “By the way, Mario Lopez is back in the green room trying to learn from me how to examine breasts.” Randily, Gretchen exclaimed, “I think he knows!” Finally, as the segment concluded, Gretchen lustily eyed the camera and cooed, “I’m not kidding, ladies.”