Posts Tagged ‘Peter Johnson’

Briggs: Welcome Aboard, Maria

October 25, 2010

Former Accuweather beauty Maria Molina made her debut on Fox & Friends Weekend Sunday. After making her virgin appearance as FNC’s new weather hire on the Fox Report Saturday evening, the busty brunette was introduced to F&FW audience by co-anchor Dave Briggs. As the first weather report was about to begin, Dave declared, “Rick Reichmuth [meteorologist] is out today: In his absence, we are very happy to welcome Maria Molina to the team….Glad to have you aboard.”*

Unfortunately, Dave did not give any real details about the approximately five-foot, long-locked lovely, who finally fills the vacancy left by Domenica Davis’ unceremonious departure. Neither did the other co-hosts, Alisyn Camerota or Peter Johnson, Jr., nor Maria herself. In fact, Fox News has yet to put her bio online.

The available information about Maria online seems scant thus far. The author has found that she is a bilingual broadcaster that gave both Spanish and English Accuweather reports and that she heralds from Miami Beach, Florida. FNC viewers should learn more as Maria fills in for FNC’s Janice Dean, “The Weather Machine,” this week.

Stay tuned.

Fox & Friends – 10/24/10 (@7:07 a.m. ET)

Viagra Rejuvenates F&F

August 9, 2010

Kilmeade: “Sure to get a rise out of you.” Fox & Friends co-anchors Gretchen Carlson, Brian Kilmeade, and Peter Johnson, Jr., titillated rising viewers with double entendres aplenty this morning. During F&F’s “‘Right’ to Subsidized Viagra” segment, the three got a little frisky with FBN anchor Stuart Varney.

Introducing the segment, Gretchen guffawed, “One teachers union in Milwaukee is demanding that taxpayers pony up public dollars for private business. They say they have the right to free Viagra, and they’re suing the school system to get it. Stu, this is one of those amazing stories that woke me up this morning.”*

Before Stuart could give his contrary take, a bawdy Brian interjected, “Sure to get a rise out of you.” As Gretchen snickered off-camera, an incredulous Stewart laughed, “What!” Then, he added, “Cue that sound effect.” Joining the ribald revelry, Peter jested, “No, it’s a stimulus, isn’t it?” while producers added their own purported phallic phoenix audio.

As the carnal banter began to subside, ironically, then the excitement really started as Peter roused Stuart with his seeming advocacy of the mandated coverage of the male stimulant. As Stuart bemoaned the possibility of taxpayers having to pay for Viagra for teachers based onĀ  “gender discrimination,” Peter remarked, “They’re saying women teachers have estrogen cream. And, then men are saying, ‘We should have Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra.’ So you’re…against them?”

Stuart exclaimed, “This is not a legal issue!” Countering, Peter declared, “Well, it’s a moral issue.” Stuart conceded, “A moral issue and a financial issue.” Sounding almost facetious, Peter persisted, “Don’t you want these people to be happy, Stuart?” Stuart rejoined, “Wait a minute, I know…you’re trying to get me going. I am not rising to the bait.” Peter chuckled, “No, I’m not. Not at all.”

Later in the discussion, it really got animated between Peter and Stuart when Peter asked, “Should we be deciding what prescriptions our public teachers get?” Looking at Peter with disdain, Stuart retorted, “Are you a lawyer?” Interjecting, Brian answered, “Yes, yes, he is.” Rhetorically, Stuart replied, “He is?” Biting back, Peter queried, “Are you a doctor?” Turning to Peter, Stuart snapped, “Don’t you think that in America we’re fed up with the rule of lawyers as opposed to the rule of law?

Responding somewhat softly, Peter asked, “What about the rule of people who want to have children? What if a man can’t achieve…potency?” As Stuart stared in disbelief and scratched his head in utter bemusement, Peter continued, “No, I’m serious. Are you going to decide, Stuart Varney, what drugs our public employees get? Exasperated, Stuart riposted, “Where’s Steve!” As Brian and Gretchen screamed with laughter and the floor crew roared in amusement, a soft-spoken Peter insisted, “So, seriously.”

Viagra: bringing serious fun back to F&F fans.

*Fox & Friends – 08/09/10 (@6:39 a.m. ET)

Update: Video (via Johnny Dollar’s Place)

Where is Brian, Really?

March 30, 2010

As Fox & Friends began this morning, guest co-host Peter Johnson, Jr., appeared to let the proverbial cat out of the bag about Brian Kilmeade’s vacation location. After co-anchor Gretchen Carlson announced that Peter would be filling in for Brian, Peter ad libbed, “I think he’s out in Rapid City, South Dakota.” Co-host Steve Doocy replied, “That’s what I hear. He should be having a fun time with his family.”

As the next hour started, apparently, Steve and Peter got the message that they needed to try to put the feline back in. As the intro music ended, Steve stated, “Brian Kilmeade is off today: I think he’s down in, I know he’s down in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, with his family.” Immediately, Peter chimed in, “He is!” Seemingly, not in on their ruse, Gretchen exclaimed, “What are you talking about!”

Steve nonchalantly responded, “He’s on vacation” and Peter hastily concurred. Gretchen incredulously declared, “He’s not in Oklahoma City!” When Steve asked where he was, a giggling Gretchen (apparently, then realizing that she should not say) remarked, “I don’t think he’s in Oklahoma City.” Seemingly, to divert the viewers further, Steve stated, “If…anybody knows the whereabouts of Brian Kilmeade, e-mail us. Yes, indeed!”

In the final hour, Steve appeared to try to put the matter finally to rest. As the opening block began, Steve asserted, “Brian is off today: He’s on vacation in Carson City, Nevada.” As he did, Gretchen looked at him in disbelief, smiled, and shook her head no. Peter laughed and wisely did not offer his two cents again.

Clayton “Corrects” Aly: Oops!

February 20, 2010

Get back, get back to where you once belonged. After Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Clayton Morris “corrected” his co-anchor Alisyn Camerota today, she may have hummed this Beatles refrain under her breath for the rest of the show. Or, simply thought aloud that he should remember her proper place on the curvy couch.

As F&FW returned from commercial break mid show, it began with a segment entitled, “NBC Airs New Jay Leno Promo: Underhanded Dig at Conan O’Brien?” After the clip ran, Aly asked, “What’s the dig?” Clayton replied, “Did you hear that song in the background? Of course, made famous by the Beatles, Get Back….It’s almost as if they’re sort of wiping away the fact that Conan ever existed on NBC at that time.” Guest co-host Peter Johnson, Jr., facetiously interjected, “Maybe, you’re right. I mean, if you play it backwards, maybe, it’s an attack on David Letterman.”

When Aly subsequently queried, “Is it like the time on Dallas? Is it Dallas where they woke up from a dream after a year?” Almost dismissively, Clayton quickly replied, “No that was Bob Newhart. That was the Newhart show.” As she looked down at her notes to prepare to read the headlines, she softly responded, “Okay.”

Actually, Aly was right. The seventh year of the drama Dallas is known as the “dream season.” In the previous season, the character of Bobby Ewing (played by Patrick Duffy) had been killed off and the show continued without him during this seventh season. However, when the actor decided to return to the series, the producers brought him back in the last scene of the finale through the dream device. I.e., season seven had been a “bad dream” for both Pamela Ewing and the viewers.

Ironically, as to Clayton’s comment about Newhart, the entire eight years (1982-1990) of that series were wiped away in its final episode. At the conclusion of that show, Bob Newhart awakened to his 1970’s series The Bob Newhart Show wife Suzanne Pleshette. In a satirical reference to the Dallas “dream season,” he suggests that it had all been a strange dream.

Perhaps, another mea culpa from Clayton tomorrow? Today, the history buff laudably made one as to a mistake about the history of Medicare. (After saying that it was enacted during Truman’s tenure, he later acknowledged that it was actually LBJ and that Truman was its first beneficiary.) However, he has not made another as to Aly re Dallas yet: when the author Tweeted that she was indeed right, Clayton replied, “[W]hy do you know that?” In response to his oddly phrased query, I answered that I remembered it and gave him a Guardian cite.

In Clayton defense, most of the remainder of F&FW was dedicated to coverage of the death of Al Haig, Nixon’s White House chief of staff (during Watergate) and Reagan’s Secretary of State (infamously during the assassination attempt aftermath).

Perhaps, he shall remember tomorrow. Or, perchance, Aly will.

Dave: Miss Me Yet?

February 19, 2010

Tanned, relaxed, but, not quite ready to return, Fox & Friends Weekend co-anchor Dave Briggs seemed to send his fans and followers a “miss me yet” missive yesterday. The handsome sports fellow Tweeted, “18 holes, a few Pacifico’s, 2 hours of sun, and a nap…all in all in a perfect day. Oh & there’s the beard!” (Yes, ladies, he sent his pic for your viewing pleasure.)

Furthermore, F&FW producers appeared to broadcast the very same message to their viewers today. As Fox & Friends concluded this morning, guest co-anchor Clayton Morris announced that Peter Johnson, Jr., would be temping for Dave this weekend. Even though the bespectacled, bow-tied Peter is more than an able substitute with the news, he tends to give off an effeminate, elitist vibe that does not jive with the F&FW audience’s more lively, Everyman expectations as often as Dave.

Rather, Dave exhibits a somewhat more masculine metrosexual side a la F&F’s popular co-anchor Brian Kilmeade. “Bending it like Beckham,” he tends to attract the gals, and, perhaps, more, with his boyish good looks and charm and his family man persona while appealing to the guys with his hardy embrace of all things sports and his robust appreciation of pretty girls. Dave and F&FW producers appear anxious not to let their audience forget.

Update: Dave Tweeted, “I am very emotional..after nearly two weeks of laziness & simultaneous growth, I shaved. I’ll miss the facial manliness but happy to move on.” (02/19/10 – @11:50 a.m. ET)

“No, I’m Not Dumbing Myself Down!”

December 14, 2009

After not responding to earlier bad press, Fox & Friends co-anchor Gretchen Carlson answered her latest “tormentor,” Jon Stewart today. Five days after the Daily Show host accused the Stanford alum and classical violinist of dumbing herself down for her Fox News audience, she replied not so obliquely during her show.*

When she introduced a segment entitled “Decade’s Most Obsolete Items,” she stated, “This’ll make you feel really old ’cause a lot of this stuff is technology-based driven: This always affects me.” Then, marveling, she asked, “Did you know…that the fax machine is almost obsolete? I’m just getting around to figuring how to actually use it.” Apparently, remembering John’s acerbic assertions, she quickly added, “And, no, I’m not dumbing myself down!”

In response, Gretchen’s guest co-host, Peter Johnson, Jr., laughed knowingly and heartily. As co-anchor Steve Doocy stoically tried to segue to the next item (telephone answering machine), Gretchen stared straight into the camera and simply smiled. As if to say, are you listening, John?

*Fox & Friends (12/14/09) – @8:36 a.m. ET

Missing Clayton?

November 8, 2009

Fans of Fox & Friends Weekend may well have been in for a surprise this morning: co-anchor Clayton Morris was missing from the “curvy couch.” As the show opened, co-host Dave Briggs announced, “Clayton Morris is off for the first time since coming to Fox News almost two years ago.” Oddly, he and fellow co-anchors, Alisyn Camerota and fill-in Peter Johnson, Jr., failed to elaborate. (At the onset of the second hour, Aly merely mentioned that Clayton was “giving a big speech.”)

Happily, however, Clayton had alerted his Twitter followers of his impending absence. Yesterday evening, he Tweeted, “Yes I will be off tomorrow from Fox and Friends…. I’m here at my Alma Mater tonight.” Earlier, he had disclosed, “Arrived in Pittsburgh. Giving a speech tonight at University of Pittsburg. (Nostalgically, he intoned, “Ahhh I haven’t been here since I graduated.”)

Since F&FW producers have run “Get to Know Your Anchor” segments in the past, it seems somewhat strange that they failed to fully inform the viewers about Clayton’s whereabouts. However, happily, Clayton did apprise his Twitter followers. If the reader is not one of them or simply missed his Tweets, the author thought you might want to know.

F&FW Goes South (with Dave)

October 10, 2009

What happened today to Fox & Friends Weekend? F&FW co-host Dave Briggs decided to go south (Buenos Aires, Argentinea) and, unfortunately, so did F&FW. Filling in for Dave was the somewhat smug, unctuous Peter Johnson, Jr. Unfortunately, he threw co-hosts Alisyn Camerota and Clayton Morris off of their respective games this morning.

Say what one may about Dave, but he knows his place. The sports guys is the beta male: Like the youngest son who wants to be loved and pampered, he knows to go along and not to buck up to the alpha bitch or the alpha male. On the other hand, Johnson, is like the brainy nerd who returns to a school reunion with a new wardrobe, more self-confidence, and unwarranted hubris: He still does not know quite how to fit in.

Unfortunately, FNC Senior Veep of Programming Bill Shine seems slow on the F&FW uptake, too. As long-time fans remember, Shine defenestrated the trio of Page Hopkins, Kelly Wright, and Greg Kelly without warning and rather abruptly replaced them with Ainsley Earhardt, Clayton, and Dave. Then he let F&FW languish long under those callow hands until he was finally forced to conscript Alisyn Camerota to captain the listing ship. Now he appears happy to use the next Hobson’s choice to temp.

Bill, how about riding a new horse? E.g., why not bring Clayton’s fellow Phillie Mike Jerrick back into your stable to substitute? Or use meteorologist Rick Reichmuth on the curvy couch with Domenica Davis replacing him at the green screen? Or even return for the moment to a girl/girl/boy format with former F&FW filly and new contract girl Juliet Huddy back in the mix?

Dave, you were missed.

Lox & Friends

October 5, 2009

After almost a week asea sans Fox & Friends, the author anticipated a delightful diversion today. Unfortunately, an F&F one failed to materialize. Instead, he was compelled to listen to co-anchor Gretchen Carlson mispronounce “Opry” as if it were named after the television talk show host (during the “Opry Goes Pink” breast-cancer-awareness mention); forced to fast forward through Peter Johnson, Jr.’s usual patronizing healthcare homily; and made to wait in vain for a fun story or exchange. A futile endeavor. (Sorry, co-host Steve Doocy’s shoeless son Peter hawking his barefoot running story did not quite make the grade.)

Instead of Fox & Friends, it was Lox & Friends. I.e., largely tasteless and repugnant to all but the devoted. Spice it up, Bill! Or, at least, put something new on the menu.

F&F: MoveOn “Mentally Challenged”?

April 13, 2009

Fox & Friends finally got it right this morning! F&F did not let another guest get away with a denigrating remark concerning the cognitively challenged. In a segment entitled “Charging Conservatives” (about colleges making conservative groups pay more for their speakers’ security on campus), Young America’s Foundation spokesman Jason Mattera described liberal “” as “mentally challenged.”

Regrettably, neither co-host Steve Doocy nor sub co-anchor Peter Johnson, Jr., immediately confronted Mattera: however, apparently, executive producer Lauren Petterson whispered in Peter’s ear. As the interview concluded, Peter sternly asked, “Jason, you don’t mean that the people at are “mentally challenged,” right? Smiling, Mattera replied, “No, that would be disrespect to mentally challenged folks: They’re a bunch of punks over at” Relieved, Peter responded, “Okay, Okay.”

After FNC contributor Bob Beckel’s “demeaning” remark about Special Olympians* and Gretchen Carlson’s gaffe suggesting that the “handicapped types of kids” were not the ideal siblings for foster children,** it’s good to see F&F beginning to treat the “handicapped” with more respect. Perhaps, FNC SVP of Programming Bill Shine did require that refresher sensitivity training seminar after all.**

F&F (04/13/09) – @7:27 a.m. ET



Doocy: CNN “Communist News Network”

March 16, 2009

Fox & Friends co-host Steve Doocy took a sharp shot at rival CNN today while reporting the election of former CNN correspondent Mauricio Funes as president of El Salvador. Doocy declared, “Here’s a story that you’re not going to see on CNN: An ex-CNN reporter…Mauricio Funes…he’s from a party down in El Salvador that is essentially the Communist Party.”

Guest co-anchor Peter Johnson, Jr. elaborated, “The FMLN, the Farabundo Marti National Liberation Front, which, allegedly, has ties to strongman Cesar [sic] Chavez.” After correcting Johnson’s verbal gaffe (i.e., mistaking the Mexican American agrarian labor leader for the Venezuelan President), Doocy sniped, “I wonder if he’s on just a leave of absence from CNN: Which given his political inklings CNN officially now could stand for the Communist News Network.”


N.B. In the past, Doocy has made similar stinging swings at news competitors MSNBC and NBC. He has dubbed MSDNC and NBC the National Barack Channel. Doocy, ready to rumble!


F&F Pans Pizza: Owner Yelps Off

March 6, 2009

Apparently, it got too hot in the Fox & Friends kitchen for an owner of San Francisco’s Pizzeria Delfina. After two F&F promos panning his pizza without any disclaimer, he got angry and walked out before the interview according to co-host Gretchen Carlson.

In the first promo, guest anchor Peter Johnson, Jr., declared, “No one likes the pizza: The reviews are as cold as ice. So, how is the pizza place making a fortune in profits?” In the second one, he laughed, “The reviews are awful: Customers are flooding the Internet with complaints about the pizza. So how is this pizza place turning huge profits? We’ll talk to the owner of the–not so good pizza place?–next.” Co-host Brian Kilmeade cheekily commented, “Try it: You won’t like it!”

When the segment finally arrived, Gretchen said, “Let’s talk pizza.” She explained that Pizzeria Delfina had received some “pretty nasty reviews” on and that the owners were fighting back by cladding their staff in t-shirts with the one-star reviews. Then she said, “Here’s the problem: We had them booked on the show; they heard us talking about this story, and the owner got really mad and left.”

Brian jested, “Because we heard that his pizza is really bad but people like it….I just said that I thought we were selling this because it was [sic] bad pizza that is popular.” Peter replied, “I think he should come on: maybe, he’ll come in on Monday. Brian retorted, “I doubt it, Peter!”

Airily, Gretch asserted, “As your [Brian’s] defense attorney, here is what your defense is: The shirt that they’re wearing at their own store says, ‘The pizza was soooo greasy I’m assuming this was in part due to the pig fat.'” She then asked, “And he got mad at what Brian said? He left the show but that’s okay.” Ever the wag, Brian exhorted, “Back to Pizza Hut where we belong!”

N.B. Pizzeria Delfina’s ample raves were not mentioned.


Carlson’s OctoMom Crusade Peters Out

February 26, 2009

Fox & Friends co-anchor Gretchen Carlson’s ceaseless crusade against Nadya Suleman a/k/a OctoMom was calmly and logically eviscerated by FNC legal analyst Peter Johnson, Jr., this morning in an Octomom segment. When Johnson asserted that Suleman and her eight newborns desperately needed help, Carlson’s replied, “She’s defied help, though, Peter: apparently, Gloria Allred’s outfit…offered twenty-four hour care…for free.” Johnson countered, “I think Gloria Allred is a bit of a buttinsky in this case….because what she said [was]…if you don’t take this help, then the county authorities are going to step in: That was a public threat that was not useful.”

After further noting Vivid Video’s offer to give Suleman one million dollars and health care for her children in exchange for becoming a porn actress for it, Johnson said, “That’s sick. The stresses that are on this woman are tremendous.” Somewhat callously, Carlson countered, “Oh, please, Peter! She would never have been under this stress had she not done the irresponsible thing and had these eight babies to begin with: The full responsibility is on her shoulders.”

Johnson responded, “Well, the full responsibility may be on the doctor who did it.” In part Carlson conceded, “Both.” Compassionately, Johnson replied, “We’re very concerned about the children from Mumbai and we should be: These new children who are still sick in the hospital, we should be concerned about them….We don’t like what this woman did but these children are at risk!”

Well said, Peter.

Coulter v. Rivera Bombs

October 31, 2008

Before the face-off between Ann Coulter and Geraldo Rivera today on Fox & Friends, Gretchen Carlson hyped it as a must-see fireworks extravaganza. However, the dueling duo’s polemic turned out to be an absolute dud. From the beginning, Geraldo did not seem to cotton to his platinum blonde debate partner as a worthy opponent: He made his points and tended to ignore Ann’s arguments.

To make matters worse, during the middle of the discussion, Steve Doocy re-positioned himself as a buffer between Geraldo and Ann and Peter Johnson, Jr., interrupted the contentious colloquy with his incessant questions to Geraldo. Only when Ann “shushed” Peter Johnson, Jr. was she able to actually engage Geraldo. Even then he soon drifted off topic and returned to his dismissive disputation.

Ann v. Geraldo: No mas!

No Briggs Saturday

October 18, 2008

Dave Briggs, co-host of Fox & Friends Weekend, was replaced by Peter Johnson, Jr., today. Fear not, Dave’s darlings: your beloved’s absence was mentioned at the start of the first and final hour. Ergo, his position does not seem to be imminently imperiled.

As to Briggs’ sub, the eminent effete attorney did an admirable job as usual. Not only did Johnson provide a measured, intelligent take on the week’s current events, but he also kept Clayton Morris’ clowning in check with little effort. Good job, Peter!

By the way, Alisyn, keep tuning up your castrato choir and their understudies. However, keep the heat turned up, too! Your male audience will not notice your boys’ mistakes as much.