Clayton’s “Hot Wife” Disappears

Where was Sara Morris today? Has Clayton’s “hot wife” ensconced herself in Dick Cheney’s bunker? When Clayton’s co-hosts Dave Briggs and Alisyn Camerota discussed their spouses* during a Fox & Friends Weekend “Love & Marriage” story, Clayton stayed strangely silent about his sweetie.

As Dave, Aly, and Clayton conversed about the trend of men taking their wives’ surnames, they began to share their own accounts. Dave revealed that his wife Brandi Moreland took his last name but kept her surname legally. When Dave queried, “You, Clayton?”, Clayton, deftly deflected his question by asking of Aly, “What about Tim?”

Aly explained, “Well, Camerota is my maiden name, and I have kept it but not for any sort of feminist thing. It’s because it’s my last grasp at my Italian ethnicity….Tim is not Italian. Had I married an Italian guy I would have taken his name but I cling to Camerota because it’s so diluted, the bloodlines.”

Then when Clayton’s turn arrived again, he jested, “No, I was going to take the last name of Paris Hilton–is my wife…So my name would have been Clayton Hilton but, you know, it didn’t happen.”

Almost a year to the day when Clayton proudly displayed his shark-snagging, bikini-clad beloved on F&FW without her permission, Clayton hid her away today. Seemingly, Sara has had a word with him.

*Dave’s wife: Brandi Moreland – F&FW (08/08/09) – 8:41 a.m. ET

*Alisyn’s hubby: Tim Lewis – http://celebrity-babies.com/2008/08/04/motherood-leave/

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Gretch: “Kim Kardashian, Her Backside”

Just one look, Fox & Friends fans: That’s all you got. Of Kim Kardashian’s bum, that is. F&F flaunted it in the first promo but put it under wraps in the following ones. (For pop cultural eremites, Kim is a Playboy pretty, a Paris Hilton BFF, and star of the reality series “Keeping up with the Kardashians–not to mention her claim-to-fame personal tape.)*

As the six o’clock hour (ET) of F&F’s A Block concluded, photos of the upcoming guests were shown on the big blue screen. All were head shots except that of Kim which featured a body shot from behind with her buttocks on prominent display (and her looking back at the camera). As Gretchen read off the names, she laughing noted, “Kim Kardashian, her backside.”

When the same pics of the program’s guests were shown again at the end of the hour, the then priggish producers had enlarged Kim’s pic so that it became more of a head shot with her derriere largely hidden from view. Still, co-host Steve Doocy could not help but ad lib a double entendre. As he read the list with Kim’s name last, he said, “And Kim Kardashian as the caboose–so to speak.”

Kim is known to be quite proud of her rear. With F&F producers’ initial patent presentation of her posterior, they appeared to appreciate it as well. However, once Gretch brought attention to that fact, it was, “Butt Out!”

*http://www.people.com/people/kim_kardashian

Spitzer’s Sins: Hubris & Hypocrisy

NY Gov. Eliot “Steamroller” Spitzer resigned in disgrace yesterday. Time’s Crusader of the Year and Wall Street’s Elliott Ness brought his promising political career to a premature end. He faces possible Mann Act, “structuring,” and prostitution felony charges. (In D.C., the normally misdemeanor prostitution charge is a felony.) Is he in trouble for the underlying morals charge? No. However, Spitzer prosecuted two call-girl services similar to the one he frequented and did so with strident and acerbic denunciations: ergo, the feds have an extra incentive to make this hypocritical highest law enforcement officer in New York accountable. In his take-no-prisoners white-collar prosecutions and his arrogant strong-arm tactics, he gained favorable media headlines but no faithful friends. Now the emperor has no clothes. In the bedroom or in the pressroom.

As Spitzer fizzles, his alleged courtesan, Ashley Alexandra Dupre a/k/a Kristen can now afford to retire from the world’s oldest profession. The comely chanteuse can now exploit the situation as she contemplates offers to pose for Penthouse (unknown amount) and Hustler ($1,000,000), to give an exclusive to the entertainment show Extra for $100,000, a probable one to write a book, etc. According to FNC, Conde Nast Portfolio reports that her song, “Can You Handle Me, Boy? Sex, Money, Drugs Is What I’m All About,” has been downloaded one million times already and presages that she will earn a million dollars by next week by virtue of her downloads. Further, the New York Post said that Ashley’s MySpace page has had 5 million hits. The Emperor’s Club VIP has been linked to the Duke of Westminister (one of the richest men in the world and the godfather of Prince William), has been seen with P. Diddy’s posse, and has performed in a video with NY rapper Mysterious.

Did Spitzer give us the new Paris Hilton?

Lindsay: The Last Standing

Lindsay Lohan appears to be the last member of the ruling pop tart trio standing. As to her two partners in party, Paris Hilton suffers from media fatigue and Britney Spears suffers from mental fatigue. The thrice rehabbed Lohan has come back from the brink of struggles with alcohol and drugs and has scored the ultimate American cheesecake photo shoot. She stars in Bert Stern’s recreation of his memorable “The Last Sitting” with Marilyn Monroe which is featured in New York magazine. (Marilyn’s iconic photos were shot six weeks before her death: some displayed a nude, doe-eyed demimondaine draped on a bed of white linen and others show the cine siren hiding coyly behind diaphanous scarfs.) Stern raved, “It was very similar, deja vu…like revisiting an old street.” Lohan said that she wanted to recreate the famous session: “I wanted to…get it point-on as much as I could.” Of her interpretation, she stated, “Here is a woman who is giving herself to the public.” Lohan added, “She’s saying, ‘Look, you’ve taken a lot from me, so why don’t I give it to you myself’: She’s taking control back.”

Cf. http://media.nymag.com/fashion/08/spring/44247