Abby’s View Table: Whose F&FW Curvy Couch?

Now she’s gone. Who will rule the F&FW curvy couch? Yes, sadly, today, the sexy short-lived former queen of Fox & Friends Weekend, good girl Abby Huntsman Tweeted, “It’s official! Thrilled to return to where it all began for me @abcnews …never dreamt back then I’d one day join @theviewabc table.” Now, the question is what lovely royal will be given Abby’s crown and scepter to reign on the F&FW curvy couch after her untimely abdication.

Probably, the hottest F&FW co-host was the comely Kiran Chetry; the naughtiest, perhaps, was Juliet Huddy (who always smilingly blushed when the blonde heard her show intro’d by Playboy Playmate Jenny McCarthy, saying, “Yes, the drapes match the rug”), and the strangest transmogrifying one, Alisyn Camerota, a sexy, smart gal who later “woke” to another whole new world–CNN.

Regrettably, the sexy, sharp Puerto Rican Five siren Kimberly Guilfoyle left FNC under some less than flattering accusations. And, strangely, the leggy lovely Nicole Petallides left her FBN:AM fans without an explanation but, happily, she still graces the screen as a reporter for FBN. Molly Line seems to be a possibility since she seems to be getting more air time on FNC on shows such as Outnumbered as of late: Formerly, she oft guest co-hosted F&FW when the suits were seemingly trying to transition Aly out–without success.

So, who should be the next F&FW queen? If it were up to the author, FNC would bring back Nepalese goddess Kiran Chetry: The former F&FW & America Morning co-host has the killer looks, personality, and smarts to arouse her F&FW fans to a fabulous morning. (She’s done her time, and she has been loyal to the network and her fans.) If not Kiran, Nicole would be awesome on the curvy couch as the brainy, famously leggy Greek beauty who will waken F&FW viewers with a jolt of pulchritudinous femme fatale java.

Nevertheless, the author believes that the odds favor Rachel Campos-Duffy who has begun to occupy the center seat lately on both Fox & Friends and Fox & Friends Weekend. She’s a lovely lady who came to the public’s consciousness as a cast member on MTV’s The Real World: San Francisco before becoming a regular guest co-host of The View–and she’s the wife of Rep. Sean Duffy (R-WI). Like former F&FW co-anchor Elisabeth Hasselbeck and Survivor contestant (the predecessor of Anna Kooiman, who was the predecessor of Abby), Rachel starred in her own reality series and she has political connections like Abby Huntsman (whose dad is the current Ambassador to Russia).

Stay tuned.

 

Brian “Rubs” Laura the Wrong Way

Chagrined Ingraham: “I’m never going to live this down.” Masseur or masseuse? Fox & Friends” co-anchor Brian Kilmeade made radio talk show host Laura Ingraham blush yesterday with that “innocuous” query.

When Ingraham began to conclude her latest weekly appearance, she derided the President’s welfare reform waivers that deem massage “work.” Always the wag, Brian incongruently responded, “Do you like a woman masseuse or a male masseuse [sic]?”* Rolling her eyes and shaking her head in embarrassment, Ingraham stammered, “I’m not going to an[swer], I’m not. Are you?”

Chuckling sympathetically, F&F co-host Gretchen Carlson interjected, “Now, Laura, you know what I go through!”

As Ingraham hid her reddening face in her papers, a bemused Brian queried, “What is the problem? They ask you that when you go to get a massage.”

Still reeling from Brian’s query, Ingraham riposted, “What is this? What, what is this–an MTV interview or is this Fox & Friends? Come on!…I’m not engaging in this conversation.” Subsequently, she jested, “I’m going to do a CLEAN radio show now, okay?”

As Ingraham waved goodbye, Gretchen turned to Brian and whispered, “Brian, just for the record, I take either one.”

With the camera still on Ingraham, Brian declared, “So, Gretchen just weighed in: she’ll take either one.”

Smiling, Ingraham asked, “She takes either one?” Taking Brian’s bait, Ingraham finally gave in. Arching her eyebrows suggestively, she declared, “Men!”

Turning to his co-hosts Gretchen and Steve Doocy, a beaming Brian remarked, “That’s was the toughest issue she’s ever had to handle.”

Interposing, Ingraham responded, “I know. You never get me speechless! I’m never speechless but, no, no… I’m never going to live this down! My brothers are already messaging me.”

Nodding his head, Steve concurred, “You’re right!” Then, turning to his co-hosts, Steve joshed, “I think that rubbed her the wrong way.”

Laughing, Gretchen racily concluded, “But, we found out who she wants to rub her.”

Fox & Friends – 07/24/12 (@ 8:12 a.m.)

Zain Verjee: “The Delilah of Kenya”

Zain’s “Love Lines.” CNN correspondent Zain Verjee revealed her sexy radio roots to CNN Newsroom anchor Kyra Phillips Monday. After a CN story on the launch of MTV thirty years ago with the Buggles’ “Video Killed the Radio Star,” Zain was ready to give her report on Amy Winehouse. Before she did, Kyra queried, “Zain, I want to bring you into this discussion….You say that’s actually the first song you played as a radio D.J.?”

Zain answered, “Yes, it was in Kenya and I was doing the love show, which was called “Love Lines” at the time.” Mellifluously, she added, “Kind of like the Delilah of Kenya almost.”

Then, more to Kyra’s point, Zain remarked, “When we launched this private radio station [in Nairobi], it was a big deal because in Kenya at that time everything had been [under] state control. So, it created all this buzz and that was the first song that was played on the breakfast show on Capital FM radio, “Video Killed the Radio Star.” It also launched my career.”

“The Delilah of Kenya“: No Philistine.

[Author’s aside: Elaborating on her radio show in a 2010 interview in Kenya’s Standard, Zain said, “It was called Love Lines and it was just sort of playing romantic music, reading people’s love letters, and dispensing of advice that I was ill positioned to give.”]

AM on Holiday?

Lady Gaga still “wins.” With American Morning co-hosts Kiran Chetry and John Roberts off today, it appears their copy editor was playing hooky. As guest co-host Jim Acosta read the MTV Video Music Awards headlines story, the graphics read, “Lady Gaga Winds Big: Takes home eight trophies at MTV VMAs.” (N.B. Glaring error: “Winds” vis-a-vis “wins.”) To make matters worse, it occurred twice: once at 7:07 a.m. ET and again at 8:07 a.m. ET. Doubtless, a timorous truant is awaiting a good tongue lashing by his executive producer–unless Jamie Kraft, too, is on an AM vacation.

Clayton: A Ham with Broken Eggs?

Clayton Morris: “I’m Steve Doocy.” For media news junkies who may have missed it over an extended Memorial Day weekend, Fox & Friends guest co-host Clayton Morris called himself “Steve Doocy” [for whom he was subbing] twice during a “Fox Flash” segment. [Vid via HuffPo.] His “faux pas” was seen in different lights by the various cable news coverers: The Huffington Post reported the story straight; Breitbart.tv asked, “Was he joking?”; Mediaite wondered whether it was a “teleprompter mistake” or a “weird inside joke”; and TVNewser concluded sarcastically in an update that it was a “‘hilarious’ joke.”

In the author’s opinion, Clayton seemed to be simply clowning as he has been wont since he was first introduced to Fox & Friends fans over two years ago. In the past, when one of Clayton’s attempts at humor fell painfully flat, he quoted funnyman Conan O’Brien who had purportedly said, “To make an omelet, you have to break a few eggs.”* I.e., if one is to be successful, one should not fear to fail.

With all of the flak that Clayton has received since his “joke” last Friday, it appears that he must have broken, at least, a “baker’s dozen” or two. Clayton, time to go back to the farmer’s market?

*[Aside: Apparently, a variant of Lenin’s quote, “If you want to make an omelet, you have to be willing to break a few eggs.”]

Another Weekend: Another Face

“Pretty Face” Dave Briggs, a Boston sports news guy, took G.I. Ken’s seat today. In the never-ending Fox & Friends Weekend search for its permanent co-host cast, FNC brought in this former WHDH-TV (Boston) sports reporter/anchor to sub for Greg Kelly. Ainsley Earhardt is back in her center space, saccharinely declaring herself twice to be the “luckiest girl this morning” sitting between Briggs and Clayton Morris.

If you awoke nauseated this morning, you may be in the MTV demographic that had a long, hard night and will get back in bed after visiting the porcelain throne. If you’re not in F&F Weekend’s fave demographic, you may just can’t wait to get off of this eternal carousel ride. One positive is that they may find a combination that works: another is that fan favorites, like Page Hopkins and Kelly Wright, may still have an outside chance to return.

Ainsley Earhardt made up to David Murphy, the eleven year old Cleveland lad who steered a moving school bus away from an oncoming semi. She asked him whether he had disengaged the emergency brake and he denied it: then she complimented him and added that she had no choice but to believe him because the bus company had refused to talk to F&F Weekend. Shepherd Smith, had interviewed the lad with a jaundiced eye and gave the viewer the clear impression that he disbelieved the boy.

Weatherman Rick Reithmuth returned from Hawaii as the lovely Domenica Davis went back to her weekly meterological duties. Courtney Friel, newsreader lovely, seemed safely ensconced in her usual role for now. Megan Henderson, last weekend’s auditioning dish, has returned to the Lone Star State.