Able Carlson Kills Cain?

Cain: No, abortion should not be a part of the political discussion. After ending Hank Williams, Jr.‘s two-decade-decade Monday Night Football tradition three weeks ago with a softball on partisan politics, has Fox & Friends co-host Gretchen Carlson killed Herman Cain’s campaign today with a similarly sympathetic question on abortion?

Today, in an F&F segment entitled “Cain’s Clarifications: Spelling Out Stances on Abortion & GITMO” segment, Gretchen and her F&F co-hosts, Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade, offered Cain an opportunity to rehabilitate himself with his socially conservative supporters still reeling after his Piers Morgan Tonight appearance. But, before their interview of Cain began, they ran an edited Piers Morgan clip of him saying, “It’s not the government’s role or anybody else’s role to make that decision: it ultimately gets down to a choice that that family or that mother has to make not me as President, not some politician, [and] not a bureaucrat.” Then, they aired Cain apparently recanting in an address, three days later, the Iowa Faith & Freedom Coalition, declaring, “I would not sign any legislation that in any way allowed the government to be involved in it. I would strengthen all of our current laws that prevent abortion. I believe that abortion should be clearly stated and illegal across this country.”

Subsequently, an apparently supportive and similarly equivocal Carlson posited, “I know you’ve had some difficulty with the abortion issue. Here’s my question for you this morning: Should abortion be a part of the political discussion?” Perhaps, lulled into a false sense of security on friendly territory like Williams, Cain confidently asserted, “No, it should not, quite frankly.” Risibly, he added, “But, my position is real clear, Gretchen, and it’s been consistent: I am pro-life. That first clip that you payed [sic], played was taken out of context.”

Doubtlessly, Cain may wish that abortion were not a “part of the political discussion” after receiving strong blowback from social conservatives. For example, fellow 2012 GOP Presidential contestant Rick Perry blasted Cain, saying, “Pro-life is not a matter of campaign convenience: it is a core conviction….It is a liberal canard to say I am personally pro-life but government should stay out of that decision. More acerbically, Santorum remarked, “It is unconscionable for Herman to run for the nomination of the Party that stands in defense of Life while showing disregard for the sanctity of  Life.”

Ouch. Cain could learn from another unscripted Presidential contender CEO without political experience. Instead of hobnobbing with the Donald in New York, he may want to consult with H. Ross in Texas. Otherwise, his rocket-like rise may well be aborted before it really even gets off the ground.

Bocephus: Boycott F&F (and ESPN)

“That’s exactly what I said!” Unrepentant, rebel country music superstar Hank Williams affirmed his call for a boycott of FNC’s top-rated Fox & Friends in his latest release. In response to ESPN’s apparent axing of his long-standing Monday Night Football promo after a controversial “Fox & Friends” interview, Williams retaliated with “Keep the Change,” a free download to his fans. In his new record, Williams complains that F&F twisted his words: then, he acerbically lilts, “Yeah, you can keep Fox & Friends and ESPN out of your homes, too [because] Bocephus and all of his rowdy friends and his song are out of there. Yes, sir!”

Yesterday, Williams visited The View to make his “apology.” In the course of the virtual lovefest, Barbara Walters did him to task for his call for his call for a boycott of F&F and ESPN. After pointing out that ESPN (like ABC, the home of The View) was owned by Disney, she remarked, “But, you are now telling people that Fox & Friends and ESPN, other people should boycott them.” Rather than offer amends, a somewhat embittered Bocephus responded, “That’s exactly what I said!”

Later in the day, Williams appeared on FNC’s Hannity.* When co-host Sean Hannity mentioned his The View reception, Williams gushed, “Oh, it was fantastic!” Subsequently, when Hannity asked him about his departure from ESPN, he strangely failed to ask him about his call for a boycott of Fox & Friends. Perhaps, it was understandable. All in the FOX family?

As the interview began to conclude, Hannity commented, “You know what, I love football….I’m gonna miss your open.” With a glint in his eye, Williams responded, “Well, stand by for 2012. It’s a free country with lots of options and lots of choices.” Hannity replied, “So, in other words, we may not have heard the last of Hank Williams, Jr., on football?” Grinning, Williams answered, “We’ve been contacted today. The song is mine, Sean!”

Subsequently, smacking his ring forcefully on the desk, Williams continued, “Let’s talk about the poll. They had a poll…’who would you like to have on do the Monday Night [Football] 53% me!” Chuckling, Sean jested, “You don’t look as good as Faith Hill but she does Monday Night Football.” Williams replied, “No, no, no, no! But, that’s another network. But, there are other networks.” Hannity replied, “Yes, there are. Fox is one of them!” Shaking his head emphatically, Williams answered, “Uh, yeah!”

“Ready for some non-ESPN football,” FOX fans? The answer sounded pellucidly clear. Ready for some Fox & Friends? Bocephus ain’t!

Author’s aside: For a related Carpe Diem story, cf. “F&F’s Bizarre Bocephus: Obama Like Hitler?“

F&F’s Bizarre Bocephus: Obama Like Hitler?

[UPDATED, infra: “Bocephus going, gone.“] Hank Williams, Jr.: Obama/Boehner on the links “like Hitler playing golf with Netanyahu.” In a rather bizzare Fox & Friends interview today, country star Hank Williams, Jr., so compared President Barack Obama to Hitler. When pressed by co-host Brian Kilmeade, Williams dug himself in even deeper, surlily replying that Obama was “the enemy.” As the surreal promo for NFL Monday Night Football (and his illustrious deceased father‘s new release The Legend Begins) finally ended, relieved co-anchor Gretchen Carlson said, “I just want to say that we disavow any of those comments or analogies that he made. At least…the analogy between Hitler and the President.”

Interestingly, the segment began with Brian lauding Williams as “coming from country music royalty” and being the “voice of Monday Night Football for over twenty years” who “knows a little about politics, too.” Subsequently, co-host Steve Doocy enthusiastically welcomed Williams, exclaiming, “Joining us right now to break down the 2012 GOP field is country singer superstar Hank Williams, Jr. As he did, Bocephus sat back with his arms crossed and shook his head with a laugh. Somewhat incisively, Brian waggishly interjected, “Your body language says [to] leave you alone. Your hands are crossed. You’re shaking us off.”

Perhaps, in an adumbration of the fractious nature of the interview, Williams stuck out his tongue and uncrossed his arms, retorting, “Yeah, whatever. Yeah!” Then, he added, “I’d rather be there looking at Gretchen.”

Smiling, a flattered Gretchen cooed, “Good morning to you, too. Good morning to you, too. Let’s just have a little intimate discussion right here.” Ironically, prefacing her question, saying, “I’d love to pick your brain about politics….I’ll start with an easy question, she asked, “Who do you like in the GOP race?” Quite curtly, William answered, “Nobody!”

“Nobody?” Brian incredulously interposed. Williams nebulously responded, “You remember the golf game they had, ladies and gentlemen?…That was one of the biggest political mistakes ever. That turned a lot of people off.”

Trying to clarify his response for her F&F audience, Gretchen asked, “You mean when John Boehner played golf with President Obama?” Agitated, Williams answered, “Oh, yeah, yeah. And  [VP Joe] Biden and [OH Guv John] Kasich, yeah. Uh, huh.” Probing further, Gretchen queried, “What did you not like about it? It seems to be a really pivotal moment for you.”

Animatedly, Williams answered, “Come on, come on! That’d be like Hitler playing golf with Netanyahu. Okay? Not hardly!” As a stunned Gretchen meekly replied, “Okay,” Brian asserted, “I don’t understand that analogy actually. Arching his eyebrows in disbelief at Williams’ comment, Steve interjected, “Well, it’s, it’s out there.” Unrepentant, Williams snarked, “Well, I’m glad you [Brian] don’t, brother, because a lot of people do. You know, they’re the enemy. They’re the enemy.”

Stone-faced, Brian monotoned, “Who’s the enemy?” In response, Williams groused, “Uh, Obama! And, Biden. Are you kidding? The Three Stooges.” As Gretchen grimaced, Williams moved on, saying, “The one that makes the most sense is Herman Cain. Herman Cain makes more sense than any of them.”

Before segueing to the promo of Monday Night Football, Gretchen pressed Williams, saying, “One thing I’m gathering from your very emphatic statement this morning is that you are not a big fan of the parties coming together at all to kinda find compromise?” Looking at his watch and then crossing his arms over his chest again, Williams replied, “No. Come on….We’re more polarized than we’ve ever been, guys. You know it….I’m not going to sugarcoat it.”

Gretchen responded, “Well, you didn’t. You didn’t because…you used the name of one of the most hated people in all of the world to describe the, I think, the President.”

Smiling, Williams answered, “Well, that’s true. That is true. But, I’m telling you like it is. That…just wasn’t a good thing. It just didn’t fly.” He concluded, “Like Fred Thompson said, ‘You don’t want to ask me a question, because I’m gonna give you too straight of an answer. Let’s talk about something else.”

Later, when Williams had touted MNF and The Legend Begins three-disc compilation, Gretchen cheerfully bid him adieu, saying, “Hank Williams, have a great football season. Have fun at the game!” After he tersely replied, “Bye,” Gretchen concluded, “I just want to say that we disavow any of those comments or analogies that he made. At least, I’m going to say that–disavow the analogy between Hitler and the President.” As Steve nodded his concurrence with Gretchen, Brian derisively declared, “I asked him to define it.”

Define Bocephus’s analogy, Brian? At best, bizarre.

[Author’s aside: After Williams’ appearance, F&F guest comedian George Lopez joked, “In America, we love when we take somebody out….When [bin Laden] was taken out, [Obama’s] approval rating soared. So, I think it’s time to kill someone else…maybe, Hank Williams, Jr., after [Obama] sees the interview this morning.”* As Brian beamed and Steve laughed, a grinning Gretchen replied, “Uh, yeah!]

*Fox & Friends – 10/03/11 (@ 8:33 a.m. ET)

Update: Bocephus, going, gone. After Williams made his remarks, ESPN decided to can his Monday Night Football promo, “Are you ready for some football?,” for the night: In response, Williams conceded that his “analogy was extreme” but insisted that he had been misunderstood. Today, ESPN announced that the pull was permanent, saying, “We have decided to part ways with Hank Williams, Jr.” Striking back, Williams countered, “I have made MY decision. By pulling my opening Oct 3rd, You (ESPN) stepped on the Toes of the First Amendment Freedom of Speech, so therefore Me, My Song, and All My Rowdy Friends are OUT OF HERE.”

Bocephus Gets Bawdy W/ Gomez & Gretch

From suggestively serenading Disney teen sensation Selena Gomez to flagrantly flirting with Fox & Friends’ own co-host Gretchen Carlson, Hank Williams, Jr., got bawdy today. Promoting his album 127 Rose Avenue by performing all morning live outside on the “veranda” for F&F’s summer concert series, “All American Summer,” Bocephus was in rare form. In the middle of the hour when co-anchor Steve Doocy indicated that Hank and his band coffee needed a pot of coffee, Hank proffered a presentiment of things to come: he laughingly replied, “And a few Bloody Mary[s].”

Perhaps, F&F did serve up a few to him. Mid-show, Hank serenaded the star of Wizards of Waverly Place as she stood silently next to him.* Gazing at her from behind his sunglasses,  he sang, “Watermelon lip gloss, kiss beneath the swamp moss on a moonlit night”: perhaps, playing along, Selena put her palm to her chest and then to her forehead as if in disbelief. Continuing Hank crooned, “Bubble gum perfume” and then pointed to her as he sang,” Well-placed tattoo above her hiney, high, oh my!” Selena smiled, her jaw dropped, and she coyly put both her hands to her face. Possibly, she needed to be in the “Princess Protection Program” figuratively, too.

During Hank’s interview by the F&F co-hosts, Brian reminded him of his promise to take him fishing. Gretch interjected, “Wait a minute! I’ll go to Monday Night Football with you.” Taking her hand eagerly and cradling it in both of his, Hank readily responded, “Honey, I will take you anywhere: I’d even go to a tennis match with you.” As an aside to the audience, Gretch exclaimed, “I hope that my husband’s not watching.”

*http://www.mp3lyrics.org/h/hank-williams-jr/thats-how/

Aly Cat: Desperate Hostwife

In a not so subtle allusion to the controversial Monday Night Football Desperate Housewife Nicollette Sheridan/Dallas Cowboy Terrell Owens ad, yesterday Fox & Friends promo’d a segment with Alisyn Camerota and Owens. As footage of Aly and Owens in an apparent gym locker room ran, co-host Brian Kilmeade teased, “I cannot wait to see this next feature: He’s got great hands, he’s a quick learner, a wonderful smile, and he’s got a great body according to our body correspondent, Alisyn Camerota.”

As the “T.O.’s Finding Fitness” interview with Owens began, Aly purred, “I just need to see what the goal is: can you just show me your abs for a second?” When Owens complied, she tittered in admiration and subsequently flirted throughout the story as he helped her do chin-ups and he let her sit atop him as he did push-ups.

When the segment ended, Steve said, “Aly, I think your husband has enough evidence just right there.” Aly replied, “I already told him that.” She added, “I came home and said, ‘Terrell Owens is really cool: I think I have a little crush on him.” According to Aly, her hubby cooly responded, “Ok. Whatever.”

Meow! F&F’s Aly cat is on the virtual prowl.