Schoolmarm Martha Strips

MacCallum: “Good clean fun!” For the second straight day, F&F guest co-host Martha MacCallum swathed herself in garb more fitted for the dead of winter than the dawn of summer. Yesterday, she wore a full short-sleeved, up-to-the-neck, and barely-above-the-knee marmalade-orange dress: today, she wore an even longer, crew-necked black dress with an overlaid buttoned-up white strait jacket to boot. It was as if she were saying, “I’m sexier under all these clothes than your regular beauty queen Gretchen Carlson without them.”

But, F&FW producers seemed less than pleased with Martha’s priggish apparel. Apparently, after a half hour, they had endured more than enough of her hideous habit. When Martha returned from break (in the second part of the first hour), she had doffed her white jacket, revealing a sexier, sleeveless look.

As Martha, the prudish schoolmarm, stripped out of her first layer of clothing, her paean to summer should have seemed tardy to her fervid fans. After all, only two years ago, the blond beauty had heartily praised the academic summer commencement “flashing of the flesh.” The then Live Desk co-host lustily celebrated the Arizona State coeds who peeled off their outwear for the needy to take a naughty romp across campus in the ASU 2009 Undie Run across campus. “Good clean fun!” she proclaimed.

Today, Martha started her fun summer. Bare-ly.

Live Desk Canned: Gallagher?

Gone: without a Trace? Not quite. As the end of the program today, co-anchor Trace Gallagher announced, “As you may have heard, this is the last day of the Live Desk….Megyn Kelly’s new show, America Live, will be starting on Monday.” Without his co-host Martha MacCallum (who was already with her new partner, Bill Hemmer, on America’s Newsroom), Trace seemed somewhat lost. Sounding more than a mite melancholy, he added, “And, of course, you can’t get rid of me. I’ll be along for big stories and breaking news. It has been a great time.”

When the author heard Trace’s farewell, he thought of another anchor who appeared to exit his show under similar circumstances, i.e., Alan Colmes. When Alan left the popular Hannity & Colmes apparently to allow Sean Hannity to have his eponymous show Hannity in the same time slot, Alan was bound for unnamed future projects: thereafter, Alan has made guest appearances on various FNC shows and has had a recurring role on the O’Reilly Factor as a debate opponent of his conservative sister-in-law Monica Crowley. If Trace is fortunate, maybe, he will find a similar position, and, possibly, even be paired regularly in some capacity with his recently frequent Live Desk guest co-host, Juliet Huddy.

Regardless, good luck, Trace!

“In for Megyn”: Not!

“I’m Martha MacCallum: Good morning, everybody!” After Mediaite‘s report that Megyn Kelly was leaving America’s Newsroom (and had secured her own show during the Live Desk slot), Martha appeared ready to let the AN audience know that a new alpha vixen was now in control. Seemingly, freed from her beta role, she was no longer “in for Megyn” and dressing like a bridesmaid, she was simply “Martha MacCallum” and dressed to impress in her ironically “Kelly green” arm-baring short dress and ebony spikish high heels.

Hello, Martha! See you later, Megyn. Literally.

Megyn Kelly: Afternoon Delight

In less than two weeks, America’s Newsroom co-host Megyn Kelly is getting her very own FNC two-hour program according to Mediaite. On February 1st, Megyn’s still unnamed show is slated to replace Fox News’ Live Desk which is co-hosted by Martha MacCallum and Trace Gallagher. In turn, Martha will take Megyn’s position on AN.

The move by FNC Senior Programming Veep Bill Shine came as little surprise. More a month ago, when Martha began regularly filling in for Megyn on AN and recently re-signed Juliet Huddy began ably subbing for Martha on LD, the author opined that Shine might be preparing to give Megyn Kelly her own show upon her return from maternity leave. (Apparently, he indeed was.) However, the author assumed that Megyn might replace Greta van Susteren on On the Record if she did not re-up with Fox News (as suggested by the New York Times) or, maybe, Shepard Smith on one of his two daily p.m. shows to provide better representation for women in the p.m.

Instead, Megyn got the Live Desk slot. Why? Perhaps, Shine has determined that Greta is still in the FNC fold for the foreseeable future and that Shep can keep his two programs for the time being. And, perchance, with Martha’s move to AN being such a success and Juliet Huddy’s sudden disappearance from LD and the Fox universe, Shine was presented with an unexpected void at LD and a golden opportunity to fill it with Megyn’s own two hour show.

Regardless, the lovely legal eagle deserves her own show. Not only is Megyn smart, sharp, and sexy, but also she has shown that she can best even FNC’s ratings king Bill O’Reilly on his own show in a battle of wits, reason, and panache. Congrats, Megyn!

Wherefore Art Thou, Juliet?

Where in the world is Juliet Huddy? Of late, the sexy siren is nowhere to be found on the Fox News network. In fact, so much so that Juliet junkies are exhibiting tell-tale DT’s.

Shortly before the blond beauty re-signed with FNC and immediately subsequent thereto, Juliet was almost everywhere. In the morning and early afternoon, she subbed for Gretchen Carlson on Fox & Friends, Megyn Kelly on America’s Newsroom, and Martha MacCallum on Live Desk. In the evening, she contributed on the “Dumbest Things” segment on the O’Reilly Factor with Greg Gutfeld. And, in the dark of night, she haunted Red Eye as a panelist in the vaunted “leg chair.”

Where is FNC’s foxy femme fatale? Who knows? Perhaps, Juliet will Tweet her undisclosed location to her Twitter followers.

According to Putin, that cold day in Hades may be approaching sooner than one may think.

FNC’s Musical Chairs?

For Martha MacCallum, Juliet Huddy, and Megyn Kelly, it sounds as if the music has begun. Strangely, Fox News seems to have anchor Martha MacCallum in every chair but her own on Live Desk this week. Monday it was Fox & Friends: Tuesday, Wednesday, and today, it’s America’s Newsroom.

Perhaps, FNC Senior Veep of Programming Bill Shine is taking advantage of the remainder of Megyn Kelly’s maternity leave this year (from America’s Newsroom) to see if he can adjust the roster to accommodate his returning star Juliet Huddy. Evidence of such a move may be Shine’s moving Martha this week to Fox & Friends Monday and then to America’s Newsroom Tuesday-today even though she is currently the Live Desk co-anchor. Filling in for Martha on LD Monday-Wednesday and returning Friday, has been re-signed Juliet Huddy. (Ailes’ new Energizer bunny Alisyn Camerota is scheduled to fill in on LD today.)

If Martha settles in well with co-anchor Bill Hemmer on AN and Juliet with co-host Trace Gallagher on LD, Shine would be able to free up his rising star Megyn Kelly to host her own show. As has been rumored, she could replace Greta van Susteren in the evenings if Greta does not re-up. On the other hand, Megyn could allow Shepard Smith to concentrate on just one show instead of the two that he hosts each week day (Studio B and the Fox Report): if she did that, she would be give women greater representation on a male-dominated afternoon and evening schedule. (Of eight shows, all of the anchors are men save one, Greta van Susteren, who hosts On the Record.)

When the music stops in January, look around and see if everyone has a chair, and, if so, where exactly they are seated.

Clayton’s Chyron: “Mile-High” Mystery

Naughty Northwest pilots? If the viewer was too riveted to Fox & Friends Weekend co-anchor Clayton Morris this morning, one might have missed what he seemed to really say. Or, in this case, didn’t say. Especially, if her eyes did not glance down upon the “telling” banner at the bottom of the screen.

In Clayton’s preview of an upcoming segment on the Northwest pilots who missed their Minneapolis landing strip by 150 miles, he asked, “What exactly was distracting them, and, do we really want to know?” Co-host Alisyn Camerota guffawed loudly, and co-anchor Dave Briggs animatedly answered, “Yes!”

During the segment itself, audio transmissions between the pilots and traffic controllers were aired. After listening to the pilots refuse to fully elaborate as to the nature of the cockpit distractions that got them off course, Aly opined, “They are covering some rear ends.” Clayton commented, “They did go on to say… [that they talked about] company issues…crew restructuring.” Dave declared, “You can’t tell me that they were that concerned by these [sic] scheduling program that they forgot about the 150 people behind them. Overtly, the trio said little more: However, a suggestive chyron proclaimed, “Mile-High Distraction: Audio of Runway Overshoot Released.”

[For viewers of Live Desk or Studio B with Shepard Smith, this banner repeated speculation a month old. For the bawdy banter between Shep and LD’s co-anchor, Trace Gallagher and Martha MacCallum, and Shep, cf. Carpe Diem’s “Shep: ‘Mile-High Club Pilots?“

Martha: “Buzzed” Live?

Was the Live Desk a bit too live for Martha MacCallum today? As she and co-anchor Trace Gallagher covered the liftoff of space shuttle Atlantis, they interviewed former NASA astronaut Tom Jones. With regard to the administration’s active review of the NASA program Martha asked, “Any sense of how that evaluation is going and whether or not we’re going to see more extraordinary travels into space and beyond?”

Out of the blue, an unknown and “unshown” woman was heard, saying, “That sounded like Bud [sic] Lightyear right there.”* Not directly acknowledging the probable producer whose “whisper” was apparently inadvertently aired, Martha responded with a hearty laugh. Ignoring or not hearing the interjection, Jones simply answered the question and co-host Trace uttered not a word.

Martha, did your producer mean Bud Lite Year or Buzz Lightyear?

*Live Desk – 11/16/09 (@2:36 p.m. ET)

Courtney Friel Resurrected

Happy Halloween from Courtney Friel, Fox News’ Morticia! Dressed in black, the former blond bikini Maxim model, seemingly, came back to life on the Live Desk today after her disappearance on September 3 (according to Inside Cable News).* However, like an apparition, her presence was strangely short-lived after she introduced a sound bite mid-story that failed to materialize.

Welcome back, Courtney! Maybe, you can stick around for a while next time.

*Live Desk – 10/30/09 (@2:37 p.m. ET)

Shep: “Mile-High Club” Pilots?

For the second day in a row, Studio B‘s Shepard Smith has intimated that the errant Northwest pilots may not have been on their laptops in the cockpit. However, he seemed to suggest that their “laptops” may have been otherwise occupied. I.e., they may have busy joining the V.I.P. section of the Mile High Club.

As Live Desk co-anchors Martha MacCallum and Trace Gallagher segued to Shep for his show this afternoon, Shep asked, “Trace, what do you think they were doing in that cockpit?”* Chuckling, Martha interjected, “I’ll tell you later!” Trace then replied, “I have my own theories: I just can’t say on national television.”

Suggestively, Shep responded, “I bet everybody’s thinking them.” Persuaded to share, Trace answered, “Yeah. They were saying the flight attendants were banging on the door. And, you’re like, were they trying to get in or trying to get [out]?” Racily, Martha added, “They were busy!” With a mischievous smile and a goatish gleam in his eye, Shep remarked, “They were a mile high!”

Grinning, Trace echoed, “They were a mile high, my man.” Looking down, Martha agreed, “They were!” Shep wantonly concluded, “Not that there’s a club but they were a mile high. More even.”

Live Desk – 10/27/09 (@2:59 p.m.)

G.I.’s: “Pigs” in Afghanistan?

A sports story gone awry? Today Adam Housely, FNC’s Live Desk co-anchor, seemed to inadvertently tell his audience that American soldiers who stayed in Afghanistan were like pigs–not exactly a compliment in the Muslim. Hopefully, that was not quite the point that he intended to make.

In his seemingly stay-the-course segment on America’s future role in Afghanistan, Adam appeared to reach back to an old coach’s pep talk in his minor league days as an Expo or a Tiger. As he interviewed Jim Phillips, a Heritage Foundation Middle East fellow, about his advice on U.S. involvement, he asked, “Remember the old analogy of the bacon-and-egg breakfast where the chicken…is involved and the pig is committed? Is it time now that we commit fully or pull out fully?”

Perhaps, the author has considered Adam’s analogue a bit too much. Nevertheless, if one were to carry Adam’s argument to its logical conclusion, American G.I.’s there now or new ones in the future would be disdained as unworthy by the largely Muslim population. Or from an American perspective, they would be sacrificing their lives for another’s selfish enjoyment.

Adam, strike one!

Hottie Huddy Reappears

FNC’s Juliet Huddy dumped her frump front last night in her return to Red Eye. Perhaps, responding to the author and her Twitter followers, she jettisoned her “priggish schoolmarm” attire (e.g., Live Desk Tuesday) and her very caz jeans-and-shoes style (a la an earlier RE appearance).* In their stead, the blond beauty re-embraced her hottie look: Juliet sported a sexy short, sleeveless golden dress and matching chic tall, strappy stilettos.

Perhaps, not so ironically, Juliet appeared on Red Eye just hours before her former FOX Morning Show with Mike and Juliet co-star Mike Jerrick made his triumphant return to Fox & Friends Weekend. Apparently, she wanted to remind her fans that she’s back, too. And in rare form.

*https://jakeho.wordpress.com/2009/08/12/bad-juliet-detention/

*http://twitter.com/#search?q=juliethuddy

“Bad” Juliet Detention?

Yesterday Live Desk guest co-host Juliet Huddy looked like a bad girl serving Saturday detention. No, the blonde lovely did not have on the obligatory sweats with flip-flops after a night partying hard in a short black cocktail dress with smart, sexy stilettoes but she came quite close as far as FNC goes. Reporting for duty, she wore a drab over-the-knee gray skirt, black/white housewife heels, black blouse, and buttoned-up dark purplish jacket that she had seemingly borrowed from a priggish schoolmarm. Yikes!

Juliet, FNC viewers know that you’re beautiful. Just don’t let them forget!

O’Reilly No Cronkite?

One culture quiz question too many? Bill O’Reilly appeared to be hoisted on his own petard today.* Or, at least, that of his O’Reilly Factor Culture Quiz queen and Live Desk (LD) co-anchor, Martha MacCallum.

During a LD discussion on who was the most trusted person in America after the death of Walter Cronkite, of lib Forbes columnist and FNC frequent guest Dan Gerstein, MacCallum facetiously asked, “What do you think, Dan? Bill O’Reilly is what you were going to say, right?” Not necessarily towing the network line, Gerstein subtly reminded viewers of O’Reilly’s embarrassing sexual harassment lawsuit by Andrea Mackris,** a former producer: He replied, “We know some things about Bill that we might not have known twenty years ago that affects [sic] people’s trust….I would probably say Oprah.”

Not the answer that MacCallum expected. Nor the one that the cable king and his network probably appreciated.

*LD (07/22/09) – 1:41 p.m. ET
**http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A7578-2004Oct28.html

Oops: FNC Reveals Teen Suspect

Now you see Florence: Now you don’t! In its first hour, Happening Now ran the names and the photos of the eight suspects, including the juvenile, in the shooting deaths of Byrd and Melanie Billings twice.* (The Billings are the Florida Panhandle couple who were known for the adoption of thirteen specially-challenged children.)** However, in the second hour, all of the suspects were named and shown except for sixteen-year-old*** Florence who was shown as a silhouette with a chyron entitled, “Juvenile.”**** Subsequently, Live Desk and Studio B with Shepard Smith have followed suit.

* HN (06/16/09) – @10:00 a.m. ET and @10:22 a.m. ET

**http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,533001,00.html

***http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5iTAOQx619OXpq7P0Jcpzqc9Zg-cwD99FJHK00

**** HN (06/16/09) – @11:14 a.m.

Live Desk Dunces?

On the very day President Obama reached out to Muslims everywhere with his speech in Cairo today, Live Desk (LD) ran a provocative story on extremist Saudi school subject matter. Certainly, it was within the ambit of the discourse of the day. However, LD followed it up with a seemingly incendiary segue song to commercials.*

Introducing the story, co-anchor Martha MacCallum said, “As President Obama seeks closer ties to the Muslim world, some of his allies on Capitol Hill are calling on the Saudi government to stop using school books that preach hate: The textbooks teach Arab children to hate Jews and to hate Christians and to promote violence against them.” According to Martha, one passage read, “The hour [of judgment] will not come until the Muslims fight the Jews and kill them. [It will not come] until the Jew hides behind rocks and trees. [It will not come] until the rocks and the trees say, ‘O Muslim! O servant of God! There is a Jew behind me. Come and kill him.”

After the story ended and co-anchor Trace Gallagher promoted the upcoming segment on a girl slain in an alleged San Diego gang killing (with brief footage of fleeing pedestrians), Trace stated, “No where to hide. Next.” Then as the show went to commercial, the producers played an air of Martha and the Vandellas singing, “Nowhere to run to, baby. Nowhere to hide.”

Even if this music were meant for the next report, it would be in poor taste. However, it came in such propinquity to the prior story, it seemed to be merely a soundtrack for the Saudi text. LD’rs, put on your hats, go to the corner, and don’t come out until you know why you were sent there.

*Live Desk (06/04/09) – 2:19 p.m. ET

Related link:
http://www.oldielyrics.com/lyrics/martha_and_the_vandellas/nowhere_to_run.html

Juliet Cleaver? Right!

Beaver’s mom? In spite of sporting a black dress adorned as if with an aqua apron on FNC’s Live Desk (LD) today, guest host Juliet Huddy is no June Cleaver. The co-host of cancelled The Morning Show with Mike & Juliet, not known for 50’s Babbitt-like mores, seems to embrace today’s new, naughtier ethics. On LD, a transitional show from a.m.’s lighter fare to p.m.’s heftier one, Juliet toyed with Shepard Smith as he previewed an upcoming Studio B segment on future changes to the hospital gown.

Looking at the the often embarrassing patient apparel, Juliet asked, “Tell me about the hospital gowns: I want to know how they are changing.” Shep instructed, “Well, put it on.”  Complying, Juliet teased, “You’re supposed to be naked when you put these things on.” Shep replied, “But you’re not naked at the moment.” As she began to put it on, almost ruefully, she responded, “No, well.”

Then Shep began to explain that the problem with the hotel gown is that one’s “butt hangs out.”  Meanwhile, as she donned it and turned her backside to the camera, she provocatively opened it as if to expose her bare derriere to the viewer and exclaimed, “Whoo-hoo!” Shep smiled at her antics and continued on.

Yes, the former Fox & Friends Weekend co-host is back and roaring to go!

MacCallum: “Flashing the Flesh”

Stripping and streaking: And, no, Martha MacCallum, the co-anchor of the Live Desk, was not talking about painting! Today she concluded LD with a racy story on Arizona State students stripping to their scivvies for charity on the last day of classes. In her report, she explained that thousands of lusty lads and lasses discard their outerwear into a pile (to be donated to the needy) and “make a mad dash across campus” in the annual Undie Run. As to their “flashing the flesh,” she exclaimed, “I think that’s a good idea: you know, they have undies on [and] everybody looks like they’re having a good time. Good clean fun!”

Without hesitation, Live Desk co-anchor Trace Gallagher agreed, “It is a good idea.” Martha declared, “Yeah, it’s not streaking! Remember streaking?” Trace began singing, “That’s why they call him the Streak”: Then he asked, “Remember the ‘Streak’?” She answered, “Yeah! ‘Cause the people in the control room are too young to remember the ‘Streak’ but that’s okay.”

Then as Adam segued to Studio B with Shepard Smith, Shep riquely queried, “Alright, MacCallum! What do you know about streaking again?” She saucily responded, “Il’ll tell you later!” Smiling, Shep replied, “I bet you will.”

Adam’s Fall

After taking a high-tech lie detector test on the Live Desk, FNC correspondent Adam Housley may be in big trouble with his long-time girlfriend. At the close of his report on a new truth detector with a supposed accuracy of @95%, Adam welcomed questions to test him from co-hosts Patti Ann Brown and Trace Gallagher.

Patti Ann asked, “How many personal calls do you make on your work cell phone?” Falteringly, Adam responded, “I don’t make very many” and the machine registered, “False statement.”Adam said, “That wasn’t fair: You’re going to get me in trouble.

Then a more devious Trace queried, “I want to know when you are going to marry that girl you’ve been dating for like eleven years.” (A smiling, yet sympathetic Patti Ann turned to Trace and hit him on the arm with the back of her hand.) Abashedly, Adam asked, “Do I have to answer that one?” Trace retorted, “Just answer: say something. I think she’s watching.”

Reluctantly, Adam replied, “Hopefully, soon” and the lie detector flashed “False statement” again and then “Subject is not sure.” Patti Ann gasped, “Oh, no!” and Trace laughed, “So sorry!” A ruby-red, sheepish Adam declared, “Gallagher, I’m coming to live with you….You put me on the spot….You’re in big trouble with me.”

After that fall, Adam will be working by the “sweat of his brow” to make up with his Eve.

Another Bidenism: Joe Jabs Chief Justice

Before Vice President Joe Biden administered the oath of office to President Barack Obama’s senior staff today, he took a thinly veiled swipe at Chief Justice John Roberts (who flubbed the inaugural presidential oath yesterday).* When the President asked Biden if he wanted to swear in the new officials, he asked, “Am I doing this again?” The Prez explained that a number of Cabinet members had been sworn in but that this ceremony was for the senior staff. Biden quipped, “My memory is not as good as Justice Roberts’.” The audience laughed heartily and one exclaimed, “Wow!” However, a politically astute, unsmiling President Obama gave his Veep a tutoring tap on the arm: Biden quickly added, “No, I” as he then wisely bit his lip.

1:28 p.m. ET – FNC’s Live Desk