FBN:AM: Lovely Nicole Out!

Lauren Simonetti: “Hi, James! That is correct!” That was the reply that the lovely FBN:AM co-host Lauren Simonetti had to the author this morning when he inquired, “Lauren, is @cherylcasone your new co-host on @FoxBusinessAM?” Sadly, the leggy lovely Greek goddess Nicole Petallides will no longer arouse her fans to the very early morn on FBN:AM.

Unfortunately, the author missed the Memorial Day edition because of a loss of electricity: Ergo, he missed any suggestion or remark that Nicole was departing from the show. However, his interest was piqued Monday evening when Nicole simply Tweeted, “ @SimonettiLauren & this team. thanks for watching #foxbusiness @FoxBusiness.” But, the author took even more note of the fact that on Tuesday, Nicole Tweeted, “I’M ALL BUSINESS @NYSE starting TODAY! Catch me Daytime&Primetime #foxbusiness @FoxBusiness #foxnews @FoxNews @foxandfriends #yourmoney.” When Cheryl Casone opened Tuesday’s show saying, “Well, good morning, everybody: I’m Cheryl Casone,” and thereafter has not mentioned that she was filling in for Nicole for these last three shows, the author made the aforementioned inquiry of Lauren. Subsequently, Lauren informed Carpe Diem of the new change.

Nicole will be surely missed, especially, by her male admirers who appreciate her smarts, savvy, and fabulously gorgeous gams. Speaking of which, FBN:AM producers have sadly given in to political correctness and changed the set from the two co-hosts informing their viewers on the latest news while giving them a liberal view of their feminine pulchritude from head to toe as they sat atop their high stools. Yesterday, they brought in a glass table obscuring the sexy stems of their morning sirens.

Nicole, your fans bid you a fond farewell. FBN:AM will never be the same without you!

[Author’s aside: Lauren’s kind Tweet to the author was deleted shortly after it was made: But, of course, nothing is ever really deleted.]

 

 

Fox & Friends First: Losing Sexy Fast

Your espresso? Try decaf instead. Sexy Fox & Friends First co-hosts Anna Kooiman and Ainsley Earhardt served up lukewarm decaf this morning instead of their promised “shot of espresso.” Gone were the tall chairs (and small computer tables) that showcased the lovelies’ legs: In their place was a large opaque table intended to do the very opposite. Furthermore, the gals ditched their short skirts for more dour apparel, i.e., just above-the-knee dresses for the few moments that they might be seen.

Perhaps, faint-hearted producers got spooked by a few mixed reviews and suddenly turned priggish. While cable news reviewers on Mediaite and Huffington Report did not note the actual debut of F&FF, TVNewser reported on it a la AP’s disinterested manner but news blog Chickaboomer and Carpe Diem noted the new sexy look of the show. Chicaboomer posted a seemingly subtle pan captioned “‘Fox & Friends First’ Skirting the Issues” with a pic of Ainsley and Anna in their short dresses and another such photo of Anna and FBN biz babe Lauren Simonetti. However, Carpe Diem gave the first show a rave review entitled “Fox & Friends First: Bringing Sexy Back!,” praising F&FF’s homage to its past glory.

Fox & Friends First: Losing sexy fast. Without that arousing promised shot of espresso from Anna and Ainsley, viewers may well decide to roll over and go back to sleep. As B. B. King might aptly say, “The thrill is gone.”