Fox News Specialists? Not!

Unless “Specialists” is an FNC euphemism for “not so special” Five. On the positive side, it was Fox News Specialists co-hosts Eric Bolling, Eboni Williams, and Katherine Timpf‘s virgin show so they and the producers may have a honeymoon to work out the kinks with viewers who are accustomed to a livelier, sexier, and, quite frankly, much sharper The Five (which, thankfully, will air at 9:00 p.m. tonight to redeem its replacement).

The first thing that caught the author’s eye was the pretentious new solid circular desk that seemed to be designed to suggest a certain Sunday morning news gravitas with the co-anchors safely ensconced behind it: No much needed “leg chair” there today to spice up the show a la The Five at the five o’clock hour! As to the their heralded “specialists” guests, billionaire and Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban and Showtime’s “The Circus” co-producer and co-host Mark McKinnon, they were not bad, and they provided their usual political perspectives: But, one can see them as guests oft on almost any FNC show of note.

There were no scintillating debates as one would expect on The Five or even on Outnumbered: Sadly, it felt like merely time filler for this FNC viewer. Hopefully, the show was not a harbinger of what is to come for the inaptly named Fox News Specialists or the network itself as it seems to be transmogrifying from Rupert Murdoch’s juggernaut FNC to his sons James and Lachlan’s “gentler and kinder” Fox News.

“The Fox News Specialists” needs to up its game as does Fox News or its rumored future more conservative rival may do what CNN and MSNBC have not been able to do thus far, i.e., take it down a notch or two.

As the show concluded, McKinnon said, “Five o’clock will never be the same again.” The author fears that he might just be right.

“The Fox News Specialists”: Really?

Five O’Clock Somewhere might strike a more resonant chord with long-time Five fans whose show has moved to prime time (9 p.m. ET). The Five‘s replacement show as of Monday (May 1), “Fox News Specialists,” sounds somewhat supercilious at best and downright condescending to faithful, informed FNC viewers who probably know almost as much or possibly even more than the newly named co-hosts Eric Bolling, Eboni Williams, and Katherine Timpf.

Eric deserves the five o’clock slot if anyone does: Eric has held the Five center seat with distinction and promoted The Five diurnally by pointing to his left hand with all five “fingers” (including his thumb) extended at the end of virtually every show–not to mention, he’s a smart cookie who also anchors Cashin’ In on Saturday mornings (11:30 a.m. ET). As for Eboni, she’s has been a regular on Outnumbered who has a sharp legal mind, good common sense, and distinct feminine pulchritude. As to Katherine, she is smart and sexy, too, but she can be annoying with her millennial snark as she frequently has evidenced on Red Eye and the Greg Gutfeld Show.

“News Specialists” sounds more like an obnoxious MSNBC show that might be hosted by Mika Brzezenski  of Morning Joe who infamously said, “[Trump] is trying to undermine the media and trying to make up his own facts. He could have undermined the messaging so much that he can actually control exactly what people think. That is our job.”

Eric, Eboni, and Katherine, it’s not Mika’s job, and it’s not your job. As you all well know, your job is to report and to let your audience decide. And, when you and your colleagues do it well, every viewer is a “Fox News Specialist.”

Break a leg! Hopefully, it’s “five o’clock somewhere”!

Timpf: Coulter Light?

Katherine: Hillary is a criminal! The Five guest co-host Katherine Timpf came across today as a wannabe hipster mean girl. In her first time as co-anchor of The Five, apparently, the FNC contributor and National Review writer derided Senator Ted Cruz as Trump Lite; dismissed Governor Chris Christie as a virtual has-been a la Al Bundy; derided former Mike Huckabee as an embarrassing, bumbling comedian, and dubbed Dem front runner Secretary Hillary Clinton “a criminal.”

The Five regulars, Kimberly Guilfoyle, Juan Williams, Eric Bolling, and Dana Perino took Katherine in stride initially–when she criticized Cruz: In fact, W.’s self-professed “number one fan,” Dana beamed when Katherine mocked Cruz as Trump Lite and she woefully tried to impersonate him (and said that she was glad that she could not).

In a subsequent segment, Katherine criticized Christie as one who had missed his chance and as one who is “kinda like a dude who peaked in high school that still has some of that confidence but he’s [sic] kinda knows he’s kidding himself.” Not amused at her flippant aspersion, Dana sternly answered, “Hmmm, I disagree. But, we don’t have enough time.”

Later (in a segment about the U.S. accepting Syrian refugee immigration into the U.S.), Katherine mocked Huckabee after a Five clip of the CNN GOP Presidential debater, saying, “If it’s such a doggone good idea to bring people here that we really don’t know who they are and [President] Obama thinks that we’re being un-Christian to not do it, I’ve got a suggestion: Let’s send the first wave of ’em to Chappaqua, Martha’s Vineyard, and the Upper East Side of Manhattan, and to the South Lawn of the White House where we’ll set up a camp. Let’s see how that works out: And, if they behave wonderfully, that’s fine.” Sounding as if she were still on Red Eye rather than a real news show, Katherine sarcastically queried, “Was that kind of a joke? Was he kinda making a joke? It’s always hard to tell is why I don’t know why he makes jokes.  Very nice guy, but was he actually saying that we should send refugees to Martha’s Vineyard?…Even if he’s annoyed by the liberals, I don’t think that he should want terrorists there…Whenever he makes a joke…I’m always just sitting there like “Whah?”

Coming to the defense of her former colleague, Kimberly riposted, “You’re not getting a Christmas card from him for sure!” Defensively, Katherine replied, “I said [that] he was a nice guy, and I really do believe, but that doesn’t mean that you’re great at the, the jokes.” Cuttingly, Kimberly retorted, “That’s what you’re here for!”

But, Katherine’s contretemps were not yet over.

Later, in her very own segment, Katherine moderated a segment entitled, “Hillary Jokes on Campaign Trail: ‘I Don’t Have Horns.” When she turned to Juan about the former Secretary’s jest, he said that Hillary’s style, leadership, and background were the reason people like her. In response, Katherine exclaimed, “I don’t think anyone likes her: I don’t like her!…She’s a criminal….Usually, criminals are, at least, exciting. She’s a criminal and she’s boring: I would rather look at my hand than listen to her speak!”

When the camera panned from a seemingly clueless Katherine to an incredulous Dana, it caught Dana clenching her teeth, arching her eyebrows,  and clenching her arms tightly.

Apparently, trying to throw herself a lifeline, Katherine queried, “Kimberly, you know the Clintons, right?” Blushing and chuckling, Kimberly exclaimed, “Yes!”

Continuing apace, Katherine asked, “Is there anything you like about her, anything about her at all?” Nodding her head naughtily, Kimberly answered, “I like Bill!”

Chiming in mischievously, Eric Bolling chuckled, “He likes you!” Nodding, and reddening all the more, Kimberly responded, “He’s been very good to me. Yes, very nice!”

Changing topics quickly, Kimberly added, “Um, so, Hillary, you know, I’m not a big Hillary Clinton fan: It’s no secret, actually, but for very good reasons….She is not a candidate that I find to be trustworthy, that I find to be competent, or to have excelled in the areas of foreign policy and national security plus as a former prosecutor, I don’t like people who have a loose relationship with the truth and a total disregard and disdain for the laws of the land.”

Concurring, Katherine declared, “Right, and…she’s not even likable while she’s doing it: She’s also boring!”

Long flowing tresses, black hipster glasses, and a short black skirt on a blond beauty may be aesthetically pleasing at FNC: But, they do not an “FNC fox” make. Smarts and not-so-uncommon sense count, too. As WFB spins in his grave, Katherine, you may want to consult the National Review archives for a timely tutorial from that sage, prescient conservative icon on political commentary.