Kilmeade & Doocy Fails: Ravens’ Rice Jests

Anna Kooiman: “This is so shocking!” Today, Fox & Friends co-hosts Brian Kilmeade and Steve Doocy both committed major fails this morning in ill-conceived jests as to domestic abuse. After a segment on now erstwhile Baltimore Ravens player Ray Rice‘s apparent elevator assault on his then fiancee (vid via TMZ), Brian joked, “I think the message is [to] ‘take the stairs.'”* As Anna chuckled uncomfortably, Steve rejoined, “The message is when you’re in an elevator, there’s a camera.”

Today, normally surefooted Brian and Steve weighed into an area where any angel should fear to tread, i.e., domestic abuse and a cheap laugh. Obviously, assaulting a female is no joke and never should be treated as such. Unfortunately, Brian tried to add some levity after the horrific video and it fell fatefully flat: To make matters worse, Steve weighed in and was mired in the process.

For this longtime viewer of the show (dating back to when whilom F&F co-host E. D. Hill was E. D. Donahey), the aforementioned moment was definitely cringe-inducing. Even though the author assuredly does not believe that either Brian or Steve think that domestic abuse is a laughing matter, they should have known better this morning than to not let their condemnation of it be patently obvious and severe. Unfortunately, in the author’s view, Brian did not help matters by giving NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell virtual absolution for his bone-headed decision to give Ray Rice only a two-game suspension for his alleged assault–by commenting that Goodell had owned up to his “huge mistake” and had increased future penalties for domestic abuse to a six-game suspension for the first offense and a life-time ban for a second offense: Perchance, if Brian were not the FNC sports guy and former Fox News anchor Jane Skinner were not Goodell’s wife, Brian might have been less charitable in his assessment.

Happily, according to the Washington Post, “Fox & Friends will address [the] Ray Rice ‘stairs’ comments on Tuesday’s show.” And they should–because it is the right thing to do. And, for the cynical, if they do not, Fox News critics will use Brian and Steve’s ill-advised remarks to slam them and their network mercilessly henceforth.

[Author’s aside: Re the subtitle, it is guest co-host Anna Kooiman‘s assessment of the alleged assault before Brian and Steve’s errant extemporaneous utterances.]

*Fox & Friends – 09/08/14 (@ 8:32 a.m. ET).

Jenna Happening Now

Fox Business News babe Jenna Lee has been chosen to replace the departed Jane Skinner as co-host Fox of News’ Happening Now effective July 12 (Monday) according to TVNewser.* Ben Stein’s favorite money honey, the “heart-stoppingly beautiful, ultrayoung and cute Jenna,” is no stranger to HN as a contributor and has exhibited there her sassy, sexy side that may bode well for HN. Even though Jenna does not provide much needed literal color to Fox News’ morning co-host palette, hopefully, Jenna will add a new vivid, vibrant hue to FNC’s most boring morning show.

Good luck, Jenna!

*Benzinga.com‘s Jason Raznick broke the bare-bones story as to Jenna’s apparent selection.

What’s “Happening Now”?

N’awlin’s Chocolate: a new morning flavor for FNC’s ice cream parlor? Something seemed slightly amiss today as Happening Now co-host Jane Skinner announced her sudden departure from the show while citing the, yes, “spend-more-time-with-the-family” reason. While her co-host Jon Scott was rather tearful and her colleague Janice Dean was exceedingly dolorous at the news, Jane remained studiedly stoic like a good soldier who had received her walking papers. And, maybe, she had.

One month ago today, InsideCableNews.com stated that FNC honcho Roger Ailes and his top FBN suits had “convened in a room [about a week earlier] to watch the network’s broadcast…to examine the programming in detail and see what was working and what might need changing or tweaking.” Apparently, Ailes and his top people may have looked at their golden goose FNC, too, and watched its most boring morning hour. Approximately two weeks later, Mediaite.com reported that Ailes was bringing back the sassy, sexy ebony beauty Arthel Neville (daughter of the founder of the Neville Bros.) back to FNC. Today, as to Jon’s new co-host, Mediaite.com mused, “Maybe a non-white anchor?”

Perhaps, Fox News SVP of Programming Bill Shine will use this opportunity to add some much overdue figurative and literal color to FNC’s most boring morning news show. As Carpe Diem readers may remember, the author has long felt that Happening Now needed a major shake-up. E.g., over six months ago, in an article entitled “Jon & Jane: Happening Not,” the author opined, “[T]he show with David Asman’s ‘tv twin’ and Roger Goodell’s gal seems to be an ill-conceived paean to America’s bourgeois best. After an entertaining and edgy Fox & Friends…FNC seems to have plopped the vanilla couple in the middle of the morning when the majority of their more adventurous audience is apt to roam….Bill [Shine], you surely need to do something to make Happening Now actually happen soon.” Even Jane seems to agree that she was not necessarily the most charismatic media figure on FNC: in an interview with Mediaite.com (after telling HN viewers good-bye), she stated, “I worked for five bosses before Roger, not one, including all of my professors at journalism school, said, ‘you have a personality, you should use it.’”

Hopefully, Shine will add some real color commentary to Happening Now–from a person of color. Over two years ago, the author similarly bemoaned the incredible lack of diversity on another FNC morning show in a May 4, 2008, post entitled, “Lily White F&F” to no avail. Hopefully, times have changed.

Skinner Skedaddles: Dean Dolorous

Adieu, audience! Happening Now co-host Jane Skinner shocked her viewers with a short, sweet farewell this morning. As her show was about to end, Jane remarked, “Before we go today, I want to take just one minute and nine seconds of your time to let everybody know this is my last day on the air at Fox….[I]t’s been a thrill to have been a part of this incredible success of this place over the past twelve years that I have been here.”* She continued, “However, my life in those twelve years has changed pretty significantly in wonderful ways, and they’ve created a lot of new responsibilities. I added a husband [NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell]….I have twin daughters….So, to do justice to this new life, I’ve decided to take a break from this business.”

Subsequently, as Jane thanked boss Roger Ailes, co-host Jon Scott, and colleague Janice Dean (the “Weather Machine”), Jon’s eyes began to well up with tears. Then, with a quivering voice, Jon replied, “We are going to miss you like oxygen….I had a little ‘heads up’ on this–very little ‘heads up–and I thought it was going to keep me from getting all emotional. But, it didn’t!” With tears beginning to stream down his face, Jon continued, “Your girls and your husband are very lucky that you’re making a decision like this because there aren’t many women in this business who would do what you’re doing. And, I really admire you for it.”

Meanwhile, out of nowhere, Janice leaned into the shot and planted a mournful kiss upon Jane’s cheek. After cupping Janice’s face affectionately in her hand, Jane declared, “They’re pretty amazing. And, we have a lot of opportunities in our life to do a lot of great things, and I just don’t want to miss out on ’em. So, but, thank you everybody, and thanks everybody for watching. It’s been so much fun!”

Then, looking back at Janice who was clenching her hands tightly together and weeping greatly, a slightly uncomfortable Jane laughed, “Do not cry! Don’t cry!” Interjecting, Jon remarked, “Somebody get the Weather Machine a tissue. We got a hurricane erupting on stage here.” Jane answered, “Oh! The emotional Weather Machine. Now you know why I love her. See, everyone else loves her, too.”

Shortly thereafter, Jane stoically concluded, “But, anyway, thanks everybody for watching. And, we will see you down the road. We will see you at the Super Bowl, for sure….And, Jon’ll see you tomorrow!”

*Happening Now – 06/24/10 (@12:56 a.m. ET)

Update: Vid (courtesy of J$P)

Happening Tomorrow?

Happening Now: is FNC’s most boring morning show getting a much needed Jane jolt? Today, co-hosts Jane Skinner and Jon Scott haunted the news room a la Martha MacCallum and Trace Gallagher on FNC’s now defunct Live Desk, the show that formerly followed HN. Perhaps, Fox News’ Bill Shine is finally trying to get his “plain” Jane to be a little less vanilla and to spice up the show a scintilla.

Generally, both Jane and Jon stay behind their desk in a fashion akin to America’s Newsroom co-anchors Megyn Kelly and Bill Hemmer when one or both of them would similarly so sit in the very early days of AN. Of course, Shine changed the set somewhat when he appeared to have an epiphany that AN’s rating might be enhanced if viewers caught a glimpse of Megyn’s gorgeous gams. Whether he has the same thing in mind now for Jane, time will tell. However, Jane seemed not to be fully compliant today: she sheathed her stems in slacks to elude that errant eye.

Bravo, Bill. You surely need to do something to make Happening Now actually happen soon. Otherwise, you may as well confine HN to Sirius radio.

Jon & Jane: Happening Not

Are Jon Scott and Jane Skinner, co-hosts of Happening Now playing the Babbitts on FNC? For the author, the show with David Asman’s “tv twin” and Roger Goodell’s gal seems to be an ill-conceived paean to America’s bourgeois best. After an entertaining and edgy Fox & Friends and a more strait-laced but sexy America’s Newsroom, FNC seems to have plopped the vanilla couple in the middle of the morning when the majority of their more adventurous audience is apt to roam.

Jon and Jane appear to be the prim and proper co-anchors behind a desk (a la CNN). Nothing too colorful, quirky, or controversial: just the news, day in and day out. In fact, they tend to embody what a prep school’s newsroom exemplar might look and sound like. Scarily, their mien and their garb would be as equally apt for loan officers in one’s local bank.

Loosen Jon and Jane up, Bill. If you do it right, Roger may still shell out a few tickets!

Domenica’s Bosom Mike

FNC meteorologist Domenica Davis shared a rather intimate weather report today on Happening Now.  To set the stage: the Italian delight was having trouble throughout her segment being heard over the static as an ill-attached microphone rubbed against her.  When she began to conclude her report, her “irascible” mike gave her an even harder time: it took that plunge. Yes, deep into her cleavage.*

When it did, Domenica looked down at her bosom, abashedly tried to button her blouse, and softly exclaimed, “Oops!” HN guest co-host Gregg Jarrett said, “Nice sound effects, Domenica.” Giggling, HN co-anchor Jane Skinner saucily asked, “Where did it go?” Rolling his eyes, Gregg rejoined, “I think  Domenica lost that little lavalier microphone down some place.” Jane pertly responded, “Wouldn’t you like to know?” Gregg admitted, “Yeah, and added, “Now, I’m paying attention!”

Indeed.

Update: No problem, J$P. Thanks for the vid.**

*Happening Now (07/29/09) – 11:33 a.m. ET

**http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DA36Mcc1JA8

Jane: Gonna Beat That Little Kilmeade Girl

Happening Now’s co-anchor Jane Skinner put Fox & Friends Brian Kilmeade and his little girl on notice today. After FNC correspondent Courtney Friel complained in a Girl Scout segment that she had not received her five boxes of  cookies from Brian’s daughter, Jane replied, “Starting Monday morning, I have two seven-year olds who will be happy to sell you as many as you want.”  Courtney responded, “Really? Okay, definitely send them to me, the Thin Mints and the Tre-foils, my favorite.” Co-host Jon Scott interjected, “Brian Kilmeade, you snooze, you lose.” Jane jested, “We’re gonna beat that little Kilmeade girl!”

Jane and kids just may nose Kilmeade and kin out. Wanna wager, Brian? Never mind: According to Dave, you wouldn’t deliver on that either. What did you say, Clayton?

https://jakeho.wordpress.com/2009/02/01/briggs-brian-welcher/

FNC’s “Red” Fox Magic?

Are the red foxes of FNC seducing their viewers with science? Apparently, the FNC producers read the “red” study, took it to heart, and sent the memo to their lovelies. Less than two weeks ago, Fox News reported that the University of Rochester study indicated that a woman in red was seen as more attractive and more sexually desirable than if she were clothed in another color. In the last few days, the morning Fox foxes have made up a sea of red enough to drown their happy, hapless hes.

E.g., Friday, America’s Newsroom Megyn Kelly’s sexy short, sleeveless red dress and her fun, flirty red shoes were enough to incite a fire. Before her appearance, she had been preceded by F&F Gretchen Carlson in red and was later followed by Happening Now’s Jane Skinner similarly swathed. Today, Megan wore a reddish hue albeit not pure bright red: Her morning colleagues, Gretch (as F&F co-anchor and HN’s guest host), the Breaking News Desk’s Harris Faulkner and Foxnews.com’s Courtney Friel were clad in the color of love.

Is the viewer a “victim” of science? In the animal world, male primates are attracted by their mates who increasingly redden as they reach ovulation. In the demimonde, sirens have long displayed their red lights to lure the lonely shipman in port. In today’s more genteel society, have women been waving their same red wands in the form of clothing, shoes, and makeup? If so, it seems to be working. And no one is complaining.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,444415,00.html

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/127303.php

Page Surfaces Anew

The ever elusive Page Hopkins reappeared today from the Breaking News desk on FNC’s Happening Now co-hosted by Jane Skinner and Jon Scott. She reported on the just-released suicide notes of Debra Jean Palfrey a/k/a D.C. Madam found at her bedside. (Palfrey apologized to her mom and sis and said that she could not bear going to prison and leaving it “broken, penniless, and very much alone: Palfrey added that her prosecution was “a case of modern day lynching.”) Hopkins later also reported on Laura Bush’s upcoming announcement on relief efforts in Myanmar (erstwhile known as Burma) after losing approximately 4000 of its citizens in a cyclone. Further, she narrated a story on a Los Angeles office building fire on America’s Pulse With E.D. Hill.

Hopefully, Hopkins’ emergence from her Siberian stay is a sign that she is back in the good graces of Fox News. Perhaps, she will be allowed to audition for her old center seat on Fox & Friends Weekend. She’s surely needed to help ballast that listing ship.

Bratz Spank Barbie

According to Fox News today, Mattel’s Barbie is being spanked by the Bratz dolls, her competition made by MGA Entertainment. Jane Skinner, co-host of FNC’s Happening Now, decided to remind the viewer of Barbie’s roots. [According to Salon, Barbie was based on Lilli, an adult doll made in Hamburg, Germany, (a city with a legal yet legendary red-light district) and based on a Deutsche demimondaine in a Bild Zeitung cartoon.] Skinner introduced the segment, saying, “Barbie’s sales are flat unlike her chest…those Bratz dolls…are giving Barbie some…stiff competition: Jenna Lee has been hard at work on this one this morning.” FBN’s Jenna Lee responded, “I have been hard at work at this one” and added, “Barbie sales are flat and…we see some stiff competiton from the Bratz dolls that are a little bit more risque.” No double entendres there.

http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/1997/11/26harlot.html