Banderas: Half-Naked…Promiscuous Big Bird

Patti Ann Browne: We’d like to see photos, Julie! FNC correspondent Julie Banderas bawdily spiced up her America’s Newsroom Halloween report this morning. After her story on a study showing Americans spending approximately $7 billion this year and more adults using the holiday as an escape, she saucily commented, “Patti Ann…the survey did not cover why it is [that] this is the time of year women decide to go out half-naked.”*

As a smiling AM guest co-host PAB reddened and an animated AM co-anchor Bill Hemmer chortled in the background, Julie added, “I mean, you do realize…if you look at look at women’s costumes online–I was looking at Elmo’s costumes [for daughter Addison Melissa]–I’m dressing up as Big Bird. A promiscuous Big Bird costume is all I could find.”

“Really?” an instantly intrigued PAB asked. “I’m not kidding!” Julie answered. Chuckling, Patti Ann spicily replied, “I didn’t know there was such a thing. But, we’d like to see photos, Julie!” Nodding, a grinning Julie responded, “No, it’s scary. I will show you.”

As PAB beamed and Bill began to randily reply, “That’s the,”, a suddenly demure Julie put up her hands and unconvincingly insisted, “No, I’m covering up: I’m not going to be one of the promiscuous Big Birds.”

Chuckling, Bill responded, “Banderas, that’s the funniest thing you’ve ever said.” As a somewhat chagrined Julie giggled, Bill concluded, “Really! Well played. See you later.” Succinctly, a smiling Juliet concurred, “Yeah!”

Halloween on Sesame Street: Banderas–a better bird.

*America’s Newsroom – 10/31/11 (@ 10:37 a.m. ET)

Update: When a Twitter follower asked if Julie’s hubby Andrew Sansone would go as Mr. Snufolupogus since she had said that she was going as Big Bird and Addison as Elmo, Julie teased, “It’ll b [sic] a surprise. I’ll post pics later!”

Guilfoyle: My Catholic School Girl Outfit

Perino: No, not doing it. No! Rowr! Yesterday The Five‘s co-host Kimberly Guilfoyle scared her more Victorian co-anchor Dana Perino with her sexy selections of Halloween costumes. But, not surprisingly, she sent a thrill up the legs of her rakish male co-anchors, Greg Gutfeld, Bob Beckel, and Eric Bolling.

In the final The Five block, the co-hosts discussed two New Jersey schools that had banned students from wearing Halloween garb on the holiday. After Kimberly and Dana dissed the odd decisions, Greg goatishly interjected, “By the way, Kimberly, what…did you normally wear? Smiling seductively and pumping her hands as if they held pom poms, she answered, “I was a Notre Dame cheerleader. I still have the outfit and the pom poms!”

Seduced by their favorite former Victoria’s Secret model, Kimberly’s male co-anchors were enraptured. Priapically, Beckel queried, “Did you have a short skirt?” Grinning randily, Greg demanded, “You got to wear it on Halloween. You have to wear it this Friday.” Equally enamored, co-host Eric Bolling interjected, “This is a very important discussion topic we’ve been having. Are we going to wear Halloween costumes on Monday Halloween? Yes or no?”

Clearly enjoying the heightened testosterone that she had engendered, a beaming Kimberly chuckled. Meanwhile, perhaps, overly exercised, Beckel began to cough repeatedly. Turning to him with a smile, Kimberly teased, “Bob needs mouth-to-mouth again. Are you okay?”

Later, as the segment ended, Eric declared, “Email us at The Five. Tell us what you’d like each one of us, what costume each one of us…should wear.” Prudishly, Dana interjected, “No, not doing it! No!” As both Beckel and Greg enthusiastically agreed with Eric and the camera began to pan away, Kimberly provocatively concluded, “I could wear my Catholic school girl one!”

The Five‘s Halloween: as Glenn Frey once said, “the heat is on.”

Halloween Treat: Aly’s Thong and Sext?

Clayton wants to know. Sexy Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Alisyn Camerota “discovered” how to rouse her lucky hubby anew this morning. During a “cheater-meter” segment today, relationship expert Dr. Karen Rushkin (author of Dr. Karen’s Marriage Manual), told Aly and her co-anchors Dave Briggs and Clayton Morris that traveling spouses were in a particular danger to stray: in response, Aly exclaimed, “My husband does that all the time. He travels all the time in his work.” Suggestively, she added, “As the dutiful wife, what am I supposed to do?”

In reply, Dr. Karen instructed, “Send a little sexy text.” No prude, Aly enthusiastically exclaimed, “That’s a good idea!” Interposing himself, Clayton unconvincingly pleaded, “Don’t send me that by mistake.”

Grinning puckishly, Dave interjected that Aly might want to ditch her usual sweats. When Aly turned to the doctor for her advice, Dr. Karen asked, “Are they big sweats? Is there a thong under those sweats?” Animatedly accepting her amorous hint, Aly enthused, “That’s a good idea!”

Subsequently, as the segment concluded with Aly and her co-hosts off camera, a naughty Clayton could be heard saying, “I want to find the answer to that question.” Apparently, Aly’s hubby is not the only one interested in Aly’s saucy texts and sexy lingerie. If Clayton and Aly’s other F&FW fans are lucky, maybe, she’ll share.

Probably not. But, Aly did ask her F&FW viewers for suggestions on what she should dress up for this Halloween. Perhaps, the Bristol Bay babe could be persuaded to dress up  as one of your FNC colleagues, Courtney Friel or Kimberly Guilfoyle, in their fun and frisky days: Remember, Courtney was a former Maxim bikini model and Kimberly was a Victoria’s Secret lingerie model!

A.M.: American Mourning?

“Boo!” or “Boo Hoo!”  American Morning co-hosts John Roberts and Kiran Chetry must have felt a pang of fear or sadness as they read the New York Post’s “Changes Could Be Coming to ‘American Morning'” published late Halloween night. According to the report, “big changes” could soon be afoot for American Morning. “Insiders” indicated that CNN’s new chief Ken Jautz would likely soon “dismantle” the “lowest rated cable morning show” as he tries to jump-start the flagging ratings of his anemic daytime programming.

Furthermore, New York Post sources said that the AM staff have become disenchanted with both co-hosts. Purportedly, they stated that “John [was] a tyrant, freaking out over stories and guests” and still had “a chip on his shoulder because he [had been] considered the heir apparent to Dan Rather at CBS.” Also, they allegedly asserted that “Kiran [was] dumb as a rock.”

With the CNN dirks apparently out for blood, The New York Post columnist opined that John would likely join his CNN Newsroom anchor Kyra Phillips, his affianced gravid with twins, in Atlanta. As for Kiran who the writer warned “could be the first to go,” she would seem to be in a much more difficult position as she would presumably continue to live with her husband Chris Knowles, who himself was recently relieved of his duties as weekend weatherman at New York City’s CW station WPIX, in Larchmont, New York.

If John and Kiran are both canned by CNN, an interesting scenario may emerge. According to the New York Post, CNN is interested in signing CBS’ Katie Couric whose contract ends in May of 2011: And, if CBS lets Couric go, the AM co-anchors may be vying for the very same job, i.e., Couric’s CBS Evening News anchor position. Ironically, John would have a second chance to win Dan Rather’s throne whereas Kiran could follow in the steps of her mentor (and older sorority sister) Katie Couric.

[Author’s aside: Of course, if Kiran listens to her faithful Fox & Friends fans, she may simply go home again.]

H/t: J$.

LIVE: JibJab Gretchen

Gets her groove on again. For Halloween, Fox & Friends co-anchor Gretchen Carlson “treated” her mid-term-election-edition viewers to a dance special. For the boys and girls who may have begun to drift off after two and half hours of a somewhat serious show, Gretchen decided to jazz it up a bit.

As F&FW returned from commercial break for the final half hour with the new promo graphics (including a dancing Gretchen), co-host Brian Kilmeade commented, “You know, you know what I think seeing that animation? People are thinking when does Gretchen do the oil [inaudible] in the show.”*  Co-host Steve Doocy, moving his shoulders rhythmically back and forth, laughed, “It’s right after our cooking segment.” Looking at Gretchen, Brian chuckled, “Everything else we do for you regularly except you, you dance–people expect you to dance every show.”

Smiling at Brian, Gretchen exclaimed, “Don’t look so surprised!” Immediately, she joyfully jumped up and began an animated JibJab-like jig, jauntily gyrating her hips and furiously pumping her arms in the air repeatedly. Beamingly broadly, Brian bantered, “There you go!” Smiling, Steve interjected, “So, the answer is 8:30 [Eastern] time, Brian.” As Brian aptly remarked, “Fantastic!,” a grinning Gretchen retorted, “Whenever asked, that’s the answer!”

That may not be “the answer” to why FNC’s morning cable news juggernaut continues to crush its more reserved rivals after almost almost a decade of dominance. But, it’s certainly one of them.

[Author’s aside: Toward the end of the segment, supra, Brian joked, “You [Gretchen] know what? You just made the JibJab guys, [you] made it a lot easier for them to line up your head.” Brian’s remark and the title of this article are clear references to a Halloween JibJab video (featuring the co-hosts dancing) that F&FW‘s unofficial sloganeer, Chas of Maryland, sent in.]

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 10/31/10 (@8:32 a.m. ET)

“The Shin(e)ing”: Trick or Treat!

Or, Trick and Treat? For Halloween, Fox & Friends Weekend fans will not get their favorite co-hosts Alisyn Camerota, Dave Briggs, and Clayton Morris. Instead, they will be “tricked” or “treated” with Fox & Friends weekday co-anchors, Gretchen Carlson, Brian Kilmeade, and Steve Doocy for the mid-term elections special. Apparently, FNC Senior VP of Programming Bill Shine is still not ready to give his full F&F “B Team” a chance to show their game on the big day.

However, Fox & Friends Weekend aficionados did get a real Halloween treat (albeit early), i.e., a four-hour F&FW for today, for the “near future,” and, possibly, “from now on.” Alerting her Twitter followers to the change yesterday, Aly Tweeted, “[F]rom now on FOX & Friends will be starting at 6am EVERY Saturday and Sunday.” Subsequently, when the author asked Dave for a clarification, Dave cautiously answered, “FOX & Friends is 6-10 ET tomorrow & every Sat/Sun in the near future.” [Underscoring added for emphasis to Aly and Dave’s respective quotes.]

Consequently, if the F&FW devotees see the Halloween substitution of the “A Team” for their beloved “B Team” as “The Shin(e)ing” trick, at least, they get the treat of a new four-hour F&FW. So, they may want to reconsider “TP’ing” Shine’s house tomorrow night. On the other hand, they may still want to get him for his past tricks, e.g., the F&F selection of Gretchen over Kiran Chetry; the F&FW defenestration of Page Hopkins, Kelly Wright, and Greg Kelly; etc.

Regardless, Happy Halloween!

Kiran “Croft” Chetry

The Internet photo that she does not want you to see! Today, American Morning co-host Kiran Chetry alluded to a picture that her AM audience may not be familiar with but that her former Fox & Friends Weekend viewers know quite well.

During an AM segment on the Internet’s effect on one’s reputation today with Kiran and co-anchor John Roberts, CNN biz babe Christine Romans reported that 79% of employer “recruiters check online the information that is available about you.”* Sounding a mite too familiar with that fact, Kiran replied, “And, this has made a whole new business out there. Have you ever heard of the Reputation Defender and other ways that you can clean up your reputation online?…They’ll move articles down and expunge certain pictures. I mean, it’s really interesting.”

Turning to Christine, John elaborated, “But, if you Google your name, things come up in a certain order. Reputation Defender will take the ones that  you don’t like and move them down to the bottom.” Rolling her eyes and shaking her head, Kiran coquettishly interjected, “Like your Halloween costume from like 2000. Just stuff like that.” Chuckling, Christine impishly queried, “For example?” Cocking his head, a smiling John teased, “Do tell.” Looking down and grinning broadly, Kiran coyly replied, “You know.”

Reader, if you do not know, link here to see Kiran in her sexy Lara Croft costume. If you don’t, you may not be able to find it on Google soon. Happy Halloween in July!

*American Morning – 7/07/10 (@7:21 a.m. ET)

Kiran: Pumpkin Princess

“34D”: another memorable AM mammary moment! After an airline delay report and a baby panda story, American Morning co-anchor John Roberts opined, “Every time you see a panda, you can’t help but feel good about life.” Kiran replied, “That’s right. They should actually start showing those pandas in all the screens if you’re stuck on the tarmac there…from seat 1A to all the way back down to like 34D.”*

Catching herself a tad too late, Kiran giggled, “Oops! 34D. Anyway.” Interjecting rather randily, meteorologist Rob Marciano remarked, “Spreading the happiness.” Readily, Kiran racily replied, “That’s right. Spreading the love.”

Then as she mischievously turned to her co-anchor John Roberts, John struggled to maintain his composure. He shook his head, smiled broadly and saltily added, “I never sat in that seat.” Saucily tilting her head, Kiran responded, “Me either.”

Looking toward the producer, John asked, “Okay, should we just go to break, or should we actually? No, okay, let’s do the tease.” As he read, “Alright, confusion over the mammogram guidelines, our Dr. Gupta,” Kiran simply looked down and abashedly laughed. Chuckling, John commented, “You just can’t make these things up.”

No, you can’t. In fact, as the segment ended and the camera began to fade, John’s eyes immediately gravitated to Kiran’s ample melons. Gazing appreciatively, he aptly added, “I’m as red as your dress.”

Even after Halloween, the pumpkin princess reigns supreme.

*American Morning – @8:53 a.m. ET

Silent Al-y, “Crush It!”

Boo, Aly! (And, not the scary kind.) Fox & Friends Weekend co-anchor Alisyn Camerota seems to be giving her readers and followers the Calvin Coolidge treatment this Halloween weekend. Verily, Aly did notify her social network audience that she would be subbing for F&F co-host Gretchen Carlson Friday and penned two brief Green Room posts this weekend. However, she has responded to none of their Tweets nor blog comments.

Even though her Green Room attendees may tend to give her a pass (since she seems to be somewhat more attentive to them), her Twitter followers may be becoming less and less apt to do so. Aly, apparently, has ignored their Tweets for almost two months (since September 4th) and has only deigned to reply on three distinct days since she began her account on August 23.

On the bright side, perhaps, she will heed the wisdom of today’s F&FW guest wine gonzo guru and New York Times best-selling author Gary Vaynerchuk. As he promoted his book, “Why Now is The Time to Crush It!: Cash in on Your Passion,” co-anchor and Vayniac Clayton Morris inquiringly remarked, “One of the things you talk about in living your passion…[is] people need to understand social media.” Gary “Vee” replied, “Whether the people…think Twitter or FaceBook…is stupid is irrelevant. Later, he elaborated, “What’s most important is you go into things like FaceBook and Twitter and you start talking to people. Not spamming them and selling them. Talking, and you build real connections.”

F&FW Twitter king Clayton seems to get it. After today, maybe, Aly did, too. Let’s hope so.

Fox & “Fiends” Halloween

What was in Fox & Fiends Weekend witches’ brew this morning? According to the author’s recollections still clouded by this intriguing intoxicant, the odd ingredients were co-anchor Clayton Morris’ missing wedding ring, Rick Reichmuth’s piece of chocolate corset, and Dave Briggs’s drink of Cosmo with a dance by Alisyn Camerota to conjure up the potion’s magic. Eerily, this strange and powerful potation seemed to have worked its evil, making a “show about nothing” eminently watchable.

Seemingly, the first element placed into the blackened kettle was Clayton’s wedding band to add a golden glow. (If so, his wife Sara may not be overly pleased.) Apparently, the second was Rick’s strip of chocolate cloth torn from a maiden’s bodice. (Viewers, whether F&F’s meteorologist did indeed lick the young New York Chocolate Show model’s corset as proffered has yet to be determined.) Then Dave seemed to have added a glass of his Sex and the City fave Cosmo. (During the show, he seemed to have enjoyed its effects as he transmogrified from a mild-mannered family guy to a zany Kramer nailing the Seinfeld character’s speech, mannerisms, and dance.)* For the diabolic denouement, the bewitching damsel Aly did her Elaine dance before the final curtain call.

An unforgettable show? Perhaps, so. Dear reader, when the evil elixir wears off, hopefully, the author can remember these things if they were so.

*[For a snippet of Dave doing Kramer, cf. the A.S.S.]

Courtney Friel Resurrected

Happy Halloween from Courtney Friel, Fox News’ Morticia! Dressed in black, the former blond bikini Maxim model, seemingly, came back to life on the Live Desk today after her disappearance on September 3 (according to Inside Cable News).* However, like an apparition, her presence was strangely short-lived after she introduced a sound bite mid-story that failed to materialize.

Welcome back, Courtney! Maybe, you can stick around for a while next time.

*Live Desk – 10/30/09 (@2:37 p.m. ET)

John’s Halloween “Honey”

This Halloween Eve American Morning co-anchor John Roberts had his mind on the treats, not the tricks this morning. Deliciously and ironically so! As AM returned from a break almost mid-show with a shot of Charlotte, NC, to the tune of the Cure’s “Friday I’m in Love,” John announced, “Cloudy and fifty-eight degrees right now. Mostly honey with the sun.”

Co-host Kiran Chetry interjected, “Mostly honey? Hey! What’s on your mind this morning?” Laughing, John remarked, “Oh! What am I thinking about? It’s Friday. What the heck!” He chuckled heartily and smacked himself on the cheek with his rolled-up papers in mock censure. Beaming and looking straight into the camera, apparently, to his reported flame, CNN anchor Kyra Phillips, John said, “Hey, Honey!”

With a mischievous grin and a gleam in her eye, Kiran waved, “Hi, Honey!” Raising her eyebrows and then winking wickedly, she added, “It going to be mostly honey today.” Chuckling, John looked down, shook his head, and smacked it twice more.

Was your day off yesterday that sweet, John?

[Ironically, Kiran had a similar “honey” moment with former CNN legal eagle Sunny Hostin last year around this very time.]

Briggs: Keith Olbermann “Is the Devil”

In a discussion of Ben Affleck’s upcoming SNL parody of MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann this morning, Fox & Friends co-host Dave Briggs introduced the segment, saying, “Now MSNBC…is the official Barack Obama Network: Keith Olbermann, he’s trumpeting the cause of the left.” When co-host Clayton Morris said, “Keith Olbermann…many people would say he’s a cariacature of himself already, Dave declared, “Keith Olbermann, he never has to dress up at Halloween: He is the devil every day.”* Co-host Alisyn Camerota laughingly replied, “Just spell it right out there, Dave.”

The FNC/MSNBC feud continues.

* Fox & Friends Weekend (11/01/08) – 7:38 a.m. ET

“Cowboy Hats & Cigars”

Fox & Friends co-host Gretchen Carlson titillated Chris Wallace anew during the Fox News Sunday promo. As Wallace was ending his plug, Steve Doocy asked, “If you were to dress up as, perhaps, a political figure or just a standard Halloween costume, what would a Chris Wallace dress up as?” Wallace responded, “I was thinking of the Joker.” Gretch tilted her head, played with her hair, and saucily added, “I thought that you liked cowboy hats and cigars.” Wallace shook his head, smiled sheepishly, wagged his finger, and replied, “We can’t keep talking about that, Gretchen: Mrs. Wallace is no longer amused at that conversation.”

The teasing tango continues.

https://jakeho.wordpress.com/2008/07/25/gretch-excites-wallace/

https://jakeho.wordpress.com/2008/10/17/gretch-does-palin-4-wallaace/

AM’s Halloween Ghoul

Was there a ghoul gadding about on CNN’s American Morning today? As AM was ending an aerosol can seemed to magically disappear.  At 9:00 a.m. ET when AM’s “Election Day in America” countdown registered 4 (days) 08 (hrs.) 59 (59 min.) 14 (sec.), there was a clearly visible can to Kiran Chetry’s arm screen left. In apparently the next frame with a wider angle before a second had elapsed, the can was not. A Halloween ghost swiping Kiran’s hair spray? A David Copperfield cameraman cloaking it? Or scarier yet (and, hopefully, least likely) an American Morning time delay?