“Exposing Myself” Again? Agonized Geraldo Out!

“There were tears! My adult daughters were there with my wife….nasty super PACs…having to relive…details in my book. FNC “Geraldo at Large” host Geraldo Rivera announced today that he is not running as a GOP candidate for the New Jersey U.S. Senate seat left open after the recent death of Senator Frank Lautenberg.

As Geraldo’s usual Friday Fox & Friends weekly promo segment for his show concluded today, F&F co-host Brian Kilmeade queried, “Are you going to run for the Senate seat in New Jersey, Geraldo Rivera?”*

In reply, Geraldo revealed, “Last night, I met with my family….Looking at the lay of the land, running as a Republican in a Democratic state, I would have…had to have…tens of millions of dollars. I was willing to spend a substantial part of my own, our family’s savings but it would have been a very difficult road.”

Clarifying Geraldo’s quasi-definitive answer further, Brian pointedly asked, “You’re not running?”

Without equivocation, wannabe pol Geraldo asservated, “I am not running for Senate.”

Following up, Brian sympathetically probed, “But, it was really agonizing for you?”

Shaking his head mournfully, Geraldo declared, “It was agonizing. There were tears! My adult daughters were there with my wife. We were talking about going up against super PAC’s, nasty super PAC’s, unlimited funds in the opponent.” With a defiant wave of his hand to his probable detractors, he explained, “Having to relive all of the, the things that Gretch [en Carlson] read in my book [‘Exposing Myself’].”

Chuckling knowingly, Gretchen responded, “Alright. Tough decision. Thank you, Geraldo.”

*F&F – 06/07/13 (@ 8:12 a.m. ET)

Geraldo’s F&F Gaffe: “Steve, E.D., and Brian”

Indignant Gretchen: “Geraldo, Gretchen’s been doing this show for about five years. Not E.D [Hill]!” Twice this morning FNC anchor Geraldo Rivera called Fox & Friends co-host Gretchen Carlson “E.D.” And, Gretchen was not amused–at being confused with her older, immediate predecessor, i.e., the blond brassy Texas beauty, E.D. Hill (whom the 1989 Miss America unceremoniously replaced as FNC celebrated its tenth anniversary).

When Geraldo concluded his weekly Geraldo at Large promo segment today at a ceremony honoring the returning troops from Afghanistan at Fort Campbell, KY, he somberly noted the year of loss to them and the consequent questions of whether the sacrifices were worth it. As he did, he mistakenly said, “Steve, E.D., and Brian.”* Then, as he began the further question of the troops families, i.e., “Where do we go from here?,” the apparent cackle of Gretchen could be heard. When Geraldo concluded a few moments later, he remarked, “These are very, very important issues, Steve, E.D., and Brian.”

Without so much as acknowledging those “very, very important issues,” Gretchen insouciantly exclaimed, “Geraldo, Gretchen’s been doing this show for about five years: not E.D!” Looking perplexed at her solipsistic response, Geraldo stammered, “What, what’s that about five years?” Laughing heartily, Gretchen waved her hand dismissively and answered, “”It’s okay. I’ll tell you when I see you next week.”

Ending the segment with a sigh, Steve said, “Alright, Geraldo Rivera live at Fort Campbell, Kentucky, with General Campbell.” Chuckling, guest co-host Clayton Morris commented, “You’re going to receive a nice fruit basket in your office very soon. I’m sure of that.” Gretchen responded, “I am?” Clayton replied, “Yeah, I’m sure.”

As Gretchen took apparent umbrage at Geraldo’s gaffe, ironically, she made her own. I.e., she forgot the returning troops, their fallen comrades, and their respective families at Fort Campbell. Maybe, a few more fruit baskets should be in order. Posthaste.

*Fox & Friends – 08/12/11 (@ 8:32 a.m. ET)

Update: Video of Geraldo’s second (segue) gaffe. (Courtesy of J$P.)

Aly’s F&F: “The Hardness Factor”

Camerota:  “Tempest in a ‘C’ Cup.” Before hitting the snowy slopes this weekend, Fox & Friends‘ alluring Alisyn Camerota heated up the F&F “lodge” Friday. To wit, she started the fires with her racy analysis of the Sarah Palin/Michelle Obama breastfeeding brouhaha, stoked them with her “Hardness Factor” promo, and later brought them to a roar with her handling of the fertility segment itself.

When F&F ran the Sarah Palin/Michele Obama story (in which Palin jauntily jested that new moms should follow the First lady’s advice to breastfeed their babies “because the price of milk is so high,” Aly asserted, I’m confused by this debate.”* Elaborating, she declared, “Everybody basically agrees that breastfeeding is best: So…they’re not in dispute. It’s good economically [and] it’s good nutritionally….I think that Michelle Obama is just…trying to cut down on obesity….First Ladies have often had advocacy of certain issues.” Defusing the partisan issue with her sexy spark, a smiling, suggestive Aly saucily concluded, This is a tempest in a teapot. Or, a teacup. Or, a ‘C’ cup.”

Subsequently, matters turned more sensual in the final hour as Aly’s co-anchor Steve Doocy teased the “Hardness Factor” segment. As Geraldo Rivera waited in the wings to promote his show, Steve ribaldly remarked that F&F was going to tell viewers how to have a baby on 11/11/11.** Amused, Aly animatedly clapped her hands and saucily tittered, “Not only that, Brian and I are going to eat libido-enhancing foods: Steve, you may want to wear some protective gear after that. That’s all I’m saying.”

As Steve cringed in mock disgust at Aly’s fresh comment, co-host Brian Kilmeade laughed heartily, declaring, “And, Geraldo is here weighing in on everything: there’s not a topic that he can’t handle. Meanwhile, the priapic anchor of his eponymous show Geraldo at Large appeared on split screen with the co-host trio, salaciously interjecting, “My head’s going to blow.” As a smiling Aly raised her eyebrows and a reddening Steve laughed heartily, a waggish Brian exclaimed, “So to speak!”

Later, Aly turned up the heat even more in her sexy food segment with Brian. Before she did so, Brian introduced Dr. Steven Lamm, author of “How to Achieve Your Best Health and Sexual Fitness at Any Age: “The Hardness Factor” and asked him to give a “clinical look at something people like to giggle about.”*** Complying with alacrity, Lamm asked what food should not be eaten before lovemaking. When an off-camera Steve interjected, “Garlic,” Aly correctly countered, “No…Oh, no! I know the answer. It’s this one [cheeseburger and “raw meat”].”

Subsequently, Aly showed that her apt answer was no fluke as Lamm went through his list of fertility foods by property (anatomic, aromatic, and chemical). As he began to explain, saying, “When you look at foods, they are either going to look phallic,” a lusty Aly arched her eyebrows, smiled suggestively, and nodded assuredly. Then, when Lamm explained that other aphrodisiacs emitted an aroma, a light-hearted Aly identified basil as one that Italian men loved. Subsequently, when Lamm elaborated that hot peppers, chocolate, and honey chemically charged the body for love, a naughty Aly dipped her index finger into the honey (at Lamm’s invitation), put it between her lips, and then sensually suckled it.

Seemingly, Aly was too hot for F&F‘s producers. As she stuck her finger into her mouth, the camera lingered for a few safe seconds on the honey jar. Not until she began to suck her finger clean, did it pan up to her face, and then–at a discreet distance.

Nevertheless, apparently, Aly felt just right. As she concluded the “Hardness Factor” with Lamm, she randily remarked, “Thank you. We’re feeling more fertile already. Thanks, doctor.”

Aly: F&F’s real Doctor Feelgood?

*Fox & Friends – 02/18/11 – @ 7:09 a.m. ET

**Fox & Friends – 02/18/11 – @ 8:01 a.m. ET

***Fox & Friends – 02/18/11 – @ 8:23 a.m. ET

Ann Coulter: We Look Fantastic Naked!

Geraldo at Large guest Ann Coulter tantalized her conservative fans by baring a little of her libertine side tonight. During a segment on ESPN reporter Erin Andrews who had denied to Oprah that she had staged the “Peeping Tom” video, host Geraldo Rivera aired a portion of the interview. As it ran, Ann whispered a racy aside to fellow guest Kimberly Guilfoyle.

After the footage had run, Geraldo told Kimberly that it was “clearly an inside job.” Kimberly responded, “But that doesn’t mean that she staged it.” Then she gratuitously added, “What Ann and I were talking. Go ahead and say it, Ann.” Chuckling, Ann replied, “No. That was a hot mike.” However, Kimberly could not keep that delicious tidbit from the audience: She disclosed, “No, she said, ‘I think we, too, would look pretty good walking around naked, too.'”

Defending her risque remark, Ann stated, “Well, Oprah just challenged it, saying, ‘Nobody looks that good walking around naked.’ And, I said, ‘We look fantastic naked!'”* Amused, a grinning Geraldo interjected, “Oh, my dear! How did we get here?” Kimberly answered, “I don’t know!” Laughing, Ann riposted, “It’s your topic!”

Tempting viewers with thoughts of herself and Kimberly nude, the conservative siren sure knows how to bring errant sailors ashore.

Geraldo at Large – 09/12/09 (@10:54 p.m. ET)

Greta “T*rd,” Geraldo?

Poor Greta van Susteren! On Fox & Friends this morning, Geraldo Rivera dissed her Fox & Friends Sweepstakes contribution and, by extension, her fashion sense. On F&F to promote his eponymous show, Geraldo could not help but give his take when F&F co-anchor Steve Doocy announced yesterday’s F&F Sweepstakes winner and displayed a prize, Greta van Susteren’s Fox News slicker. When Steve opined, “That looks like something Greta would be wearing,” an unimpressed Geraldo interjected, “I would never wear a uniform out to cover a storm: You look like such a t*rd out there–just standing there with a uniform on.”

“Really?” Steve snipped. “Thanks for really supporting our sweepstakes!”

Probably getting an earful from an unamused off-camera producer, Geraldo stammered, “I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, nerdy, nerdy! But if I had my proud Fox microphone.”

A mimosa moment, Geraldo? Or, perhaps, lack thereof?

F&F (04/29/09) – @8:43 a.m. ET