Posts Tagged ‘Fourth of July’

F&FW’s Fireworks Fizzle Again

July 4, 2009

“If you’re watching us today, get a life, viewer!” seemed to be the message that Fox & Friends sent its audience on Independence Day, the anniversary of the birth of the nation. I.e., turn off the television, grill your favorite foods, imbibe your adult potations, and celebrate God, country, family, and friends.

Reminiscent of last year, Fox & Friends’ Fourth was a dreadful dud.* The tepid tenor of Fox & Friends Weekend’s Fourth was set as the show opened to an arid a capella rendering of “God Bless America” by a dour dowdy dame clad in a drab charcoal dress. Even more so, when co-host Alisyn Camerota subsequently inadvertently warned, “Catherine Gayle will be with us all morning.” (And she assuredly was.) However, the die was fully cast when co-anchor Dave Briggs philistinely proclaimed, “A wonderful way to wake up, even better than Lee Greenwood if  you can believe it or not: I mean, there’s not much to me that tops waking up to Lee Greenwood, especially on the Fourth of July.”

Dave, perhaps, Ray Charles’ incomparable and timeless rendition of “America the Beautiful” to stir not only the body but the soul and spirit as well? Or, for that matter, Christina Aguilera’s sassy, saucy version of Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy? Even the mini-skirted U.S.O. lovelies’ American tributes would have more aptly aroused the waking F&F fan on this special day.

Alas, F&F’s oft fire-hot Aly failed to heat up today’s ill-fated show as she cloaked herself in her distinctly demure all-red midi dress, surrounded by her co-anchors Clayton Morris and Dave bedecked in their dark, conservative suits with shirts and ties predictably picked from a virtual Hobson’s choice of colors (i.e., red, white, or blue). Illustrative of how bland F&FW was, one of its most palatable parts was the cheap beer tasting results. To echo Yogi Berra, “It was deja vu all over again.”

*https://jakeho.wordpress.com/2008/07/04/ff-fireworks-fizzle/

Ainsley Unleashed: “Not that Innocent”

July 3, 2009

Ringless Ainsley robustly and randily returned to Fox & Friends today. The erstwhile sweet, innocent Southern belle once again readily embraced her seemingly solo status (from hubby Kevin McKinney)* after her “His Huge Meat” Memorial Day on F&F.** Today it ran the gamut from the reasonably adiaphorous to a somewhat Madonna-like utterance.

Innocuously, Ainsley reminded co-anchors Clayton Morris and Dave Briggs and her audience that she is no longer home-bound when she apprised them that she had been out late with the girls last night (when F&F brass asked her to host F&F today). Then she read the Nearly Naked Fireworks report for Clayton so that he “could look at the [‘degrading and immoral’] video” of the bikini-clad beauties. Penultimately, she risquely bemoaned not being able to get a better look at two cops making out on a dash cam “in the heat of the moment.”

Ultimately, however, Ainsley pushed the envelope over the line even for her F&F crew. In a Petgadgets.com segment including dog cams, Ainsley asked, “What’s the most interesting thing that you’ve caught on camera?” The spokeswoman replied, “I don’t even want to imagine if the pets are in the bedroom. Hello!” Ainsley laughed, “What they’re doing: Licking, right?” The guest’s eyes abruptly widened and she guffawed, “Oh, my gosh!” In the background, someone [sounding like Clayton, if not he] interjected, “Oh, please!”

As Britney Spears might opine, “Oops! Ainsley did it again. She’s not that innocent!”***

*http://www.thecolumbiastar.net/news/2005/0415/Society/203.html

**https://jakeho.wordpress.com/2009/05/26/ringless-ainsley-his-huge-meat/

***http://www.mtv.com/lyrics/spears_britney/oops_i_did_it_again/1943318/lyrics.jhtml