“Cougar” Carlson: Saved by the Bell?

Rowrrr! With baby-faced beefcake “Extra” weekday host Mario Lopez on the Fox & Friends curvy couch, co-anchor Gretchen Carlson appeared ready to pounce. Thoughts of her very own “Saved by the Bell” boy toy seemed to permeate the atmosphere as she and her co-host, Brian Kilmeade and Steve Doocy, interviewed Lopez and even into the show’s subsequent block.

Before the segment, Brian gave his sportscast and named Minnesota Viking quarterback “forty-year old Brett Favre” as his choice as his weekly “Brian’s Best Player.” In an aside, he joked, “Hey, forty-year olds get off the couch, put on a uniform and the eye black. You can still play!” Before he segued to Lopez’ interview, the forty-three old Gretchen groused, “You make Favre and forties sound like it’s ancient.” Brian deadpanned, “it’s very old.”

During Lopez’ interview, Brian asked, “Am I right [that] you were never a dancer until you gave it a shot on Dancing with the Stars [2006].” After Lopez said that he had not danced since he was a child of five or six, Gretchen racily remarked, “Well, let me just tell you, you still have the moves!”

Later, when the F&F producers put up a pic of Lopez donning ladies’ lingerie, a Merry Widow variant, for FOX’s Nip/Tuck series, Gretchen oohed, “Aww, man! She suggestively added, “I understand the inside story on this was that you didn’t like the way your feet looked in the shoes but that some people liked your butt.” Reddening, Lopez asked, “Wait, what inside story is that?” Before she could answer, Brian interjected, “Yeah, what is going on, Gretchen? What are your sources?” Undeterred, Gretchen continued, “That’s what I read. I read the chicks are envious of your butt.” Apparently, rather ready to move on, Lopez deflectively declared, “I did not know that but…I was surprised they found heels…for a size eleven shoe.”

However, in the very next block, Gretchen was still purring. As she and Steve discussed mammogram and self-exams in a health care segment with Dr. Mehmet Oz (the host of the Dr. Oz Show” jested, “By the way, Mario Lopez is back in the green room trying to learn from me how to examine breasts.” Randily, Gretchen exclaimed, “I think he knows!” Finally, as the segment concluded, Gretchen lustily eyed the camera and cooed, “I’m not kidding, ladies.”

Where’s Courtney?

Patti Ann “Brainy” Browne, a summa cum laude M.A. grad from NY Institute of Technology, was the news reader for Fox & Friends Saturday, and sassy Suzanne Sena, a former entertainment anchor for “Extra” in LA and a whilom occasional one for E! Entertainment Network, followed suit on F&F Sunday. No mention was made of Courtney Friel as these ladies were possibly auditioning for that role or were filling in until Ainsley Earhardt, perhaps, takes the position in the summer. Remember TVNewser reported that Roger Ailes was “very impressed with her [Megan Henderson’s] skills as a morning anchor” and that she “has an out in her KDFW contract this summer and that her “appearances [on FNC] ‘would not be limited to weekends.'” Where is Courtney? Is she out, or did Fox News merely omit mention of her weekend absence on F&F?

Links: http://www.mediabistro.com/tvnewser/fnc/fox_news_hot_for_henderson_84628.asp

https://jakeho.wordpress.com/2008/05/13/a-megan/morning/

G.I. Ken’s Flight of Fantasy

After a news item about Prince William’s landing of an RAF helicopter in the garden of his amie Kate Middleton, Fox & Friends guest co-host Greg Kelly shared his flight school fantasy. (ExtraTV’s 2007 “Most Eligible Anchorman in America” and the son of NYPD’s police commissioner was a nine-year pilot in the U.S. Marine Corps and is now a lieutenant colonel in the U.S. Marine Corps Reserve.) Kelly said, “I used to fantasize about landing my aircraft on somebody’s lawn, seriously, in flight school but I would have been court-martialed.”

When Steve Doocy and Alisyn Camerota’s queried, ‘Whose lawn?,” Kelly elaborated, “I actually had this all planned out. I showed up at some cocktail party in the afternoon with my Harrier jet and I got out…Said sorry I got to go but I’ll see YOU later.”

Ali replied, “That would have been great.” Doocy commented, “That’s the life of our Colonel McDreamy. Fox News’ Kelly answered, “But that’s my dream life: McDreamy dreams.”

Spitzer’s Sins: Hubris & Hypocrisy

NY Gov. Eliot “Steamroller” Spitzer resigned in disgrace yesterday. Time’s Crusader of the Year and Wall Street’s Elliott Ness brought his promising political career to a premature end. He faces possible Mann Act, “structuring,” and prostitution felony charges. (In D.C., the normally misdemeanor prostitution charge is a felony.) Is he in trouble for the underlying morals charge? No. However, Spitzer prosecuted two call-girl services similar to the one he frequented and did so with strident and acerbic denunciations: ergo, the feds have an extra incentive to make this hypocritical highest law enforcement officer in New York accountable. In his take-no-prisoners white-collar prosecutions and his arrogant strong-arm tactics, he gained favorable media headlines but no faithful friends. Now the emperor has no clothes. In the bedroom or in the pressroom.

As Spitzer fizzles, his alleged courtesan, Ashley Alexandra Dupre a/k/a Kristen can now afford to retire from the world’s oldest profession. The comely chanteuse can now exploit the situation as she contemplates offers to pose for Penthouse (unknown amount) and Hustler ($1,000,000), to give an exclusive to the entertainment show Extra for $100,000, a probable one to write a book, etc. According to FNC, Conde Nast Portfolio reports that her song, “Can You Handle Me, Boy? Sex, Money, Drugs Is What I’m All About,” has been downloaded one million times already and presages that she will earn a million dollars by next week by virtue of her downloads. Further, the New York Post said that Ashley’s MySpace page has had 5 million hits. The Emperor’s Club VIP has been linked to the Duke of Westminister (one of the richest men in the world and the godfather of Prince William), has been seen with P. Diddy’s posse, and has performed in a video with NY rapper Mysterious.

Did Spitzer give us the new Paris Hilton?