Posts Tagged ‘Colbert Report’

Fox & Friends: TNA or “T&A”? [Updated]

May 24, 2012

Brian spanked by Brook beauty.¬† Fox & Friends co-host Brian Kilmeade got his appreciative rump repeatedly slapped this morning as he welcomed former “Hogan Knows Best” reality star and sexy chanteuse Brook Hogan to the program. Promoting TNA’s new Thursday time slot on SpikeTV, Hulk Hogan‘s daughter, the new executive at TNA (Total Nonstop Action) Wrestling executive brought her wrestling lovelies Velvet Sky and ODB for her segment with Brian and his F&F co-anchor Steve Doocy: And, the Brown-Haired-Guy-Who-Isn’t-Steve-Doocy was not disappointed as he took on the scantily clad ladies in a mock match.

When Steve began the “In the Ring with Brooke Hogan” interview (in the middle of the wrestling ring on the sidewalk outside the studio), he asked Brooke about her “new” show. Before she could answer, Brian jauntily interjected, “It’s TNA!” With a suggestive smile, Steve asked, “What does that stand for?”

Knowingly, Brooke answered, “TNA: Total Nonstop Action Wrestling: wagging her finger at Steve, she laughed, “Don’t let your mind go there–even though they’re very beautiful!” When a joshing Steve asked if she were talking about “these employees over here of yours,” Brooke chuckled and Brian interposed, “We’re talking about Velvet Sky and ODB!”

Subsequently, as a busty ODB began to play with Brian’s tie, Brooke joked, “Uh, oh! Uh, oh! I think you got a girlfriend there.” Smiling, Brian riposted, “Well, I’m seeing somebody right now but you never know if it’s gonna really last.” Getting in on the action, leggy, abs-bearing beauty Velvet Sky grabbed his right hand, querying, “Hey, there’s no ring though, right?”: then, espying it on his left hand, she looked at the camera as if at Brian’s beloved [Dawn], declaring, “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

When the interview ended, Steve and Brooke went to the ropes as Brian took off his coat to fight his pretty opponents. When the “fight” ensued, Velvet Sky began the contact with a touch to Brian’s arm and then a tap to his posterior. Then, she and ODB took Brian through a demonstration of their moves with a toss into the turn buckle, a choke hold, a shot to the solar plexus, and then a clothes-line hit. Consequently, Brian good-naturedly hit the damp mat on his duff.

Beaming, Brian returned to the fray. Giving him no quarter, Velvet Sky got Brian into a full Nelson and OBD gave him a fake knee to the groin. As Brian feigned a protest to Brooke, Velvet Sky playfully patted him on his tush thrice, saying, “Nice wet pets you got there!” Grinning, Brian agreed, “I know. I do have wet pants.” As Steve stepped in and asked if he were okay, a bemused Brian animatedly answered, “What? I’m, I’m watching Thursday night, I tell you, because I want to see, especially, if you ladies wrestle.”

However, Brian was not done with the lovely Velvet Sky. When she (and OBD) subsequently wrestled one of the Fleet Week seaman volunteers and had him “at her mercy” in an arm twist, Brian decided to intervene. Returning to the inner ring, a beaming Brian dropped to his knees and tackled the short-skirted lovely. Sky vainly struggled to regain her footing: But, Brian’s amorous embrace was sure.

F&F today: T&A. Oops! TNA.

[Author’s aside: Apparently, Velvet Sky was unimpressed with’s Brian’s ardor: after their “rassling” romp, she teased, “Really Brian Kilmeade?? With a take down like the one you gave me this morning you should have your man card revoked!”]

Related Fox & Friends fanny friskiness [update re lore]: “Kiran Chetry Spanks Kelly Wright!” (video) – 10/22/06 “Grope an Anchor Day” (Clayton Morris‘ cheeks clutched by chap) – 04/04/09; “Brian’s Love Tap” (Alisyn Camerota‘s tush slapped by Brian Kilmeade) – 11/11/10; and “Kara Gropes Kilmeade” (Brian’s bum squeezed by model Patricia Kara) – 11/08/11.

Brian: “Naked” Graf Great

January 16, 2011

She’s famous; she’s got a good body; and it’s a great cause. After Fox & Friends co-host Brian Kilmeade’s first sports segment Friday, he pruriently promised, “And, by the way, I do have a heartwarming fund-raising naked story…coming up later.”* About an hour later, Brian delivered with a headlines story about tennis legend Andre Agassi’s unorthodox fund-raising method on behalf of typhoon victims in Taiwan.

Around mid-show, Brian wrapped up the headline news reports, stating, “Tennis great Andre Agassi has got a new way to raise money for charity: auction off a chance to see pictures of his wife tennis great Steffi Graf naked.”** Subsequently, as a clip aired of Agassi inducing reluctant bidders to pay a handsome price for a charity item by offering to show them his spouse nude in a phone photo,” Brian joyously exclaimed, “And, he did!”

Incredulously, co-host Steve Doocy, shouted, “What!” and guest co-host Aly Camerota¬† intoned, “Ooh!” In response, Brian explained, “But, it’s for a great cause.” Then, after he elaborated that the charity event was for typhoon victims, Brian asked, “Now, could you really get mad at him? If you’re Steffi Graf, are you mad at Andre?”

Animatedly, Aly answered, “Of course, you’re angry with him!” Brian responded, “These people are, are in trouble. They need clothes and shelter. The least you could do is take yours off.” After guffawing, an amused Aly remarked, “That is grossly inappropriate.” Undeterred, Brian readily riposted, “She’s famous; she’s got a good body; and it’s a great cause. It a good combination!”

Bemusedly, Aly shrieked, “What!” Coming to her aid, Steve declared, “Had you [Brian] been there, it sounds like you would’ve paid.” Brian answered, “I think my wife would be in to it for a great cause.” Unpersuaded, Steve replied, “I don’t think so!” Grinning mischievously, Brian queried, “You don’t think so?”¬† Smiling somewhat, Steve answered, “Absolutely not!

Amused at her F&F co-host, the “brown-haired guy who isn’t Steve Doocy,” Aly advised, “I think you should ask her first her before you offer it up.” Beaming, Brian answered, “Right, I think I just did. I think I just did. We’ll find out if she has cable.” Laughing in response and looking into the camera, Aly declared, “Dawn [Brian’s wife], write into my Twitter account, please.”

Just another day of F&F fun with Aly and the boys.

*Fox & Friends – 01/14/11 (@ 6:35 a.m ET)

**Fox & Friends – 01/14/11 (@ 7:37 a.m. ET)