Huddy Returns: Sans Honey?

Oops: she did it again? Former F&FW co-anchor Juliet Huddy returned to the curvy couch this morning sans her engagement ring. Only three weeks ago, when she last guest-hosted F&FW, Juliet was surreptitiously sporting premarital bling on her ring finger: When she failed to disclose her new relationship status and her new fiance to her F&FW fans on the show, Carpe Diem reported her apparent betrothal to Steven Wright.

Over a week later, Juliet finally acknowledged her engagement to Wright albeit with a pixellated pic of him and her (kissing in Italy). Then, two days thereafter, she came clean, Tweeting a clear photo of her and her fellow. Proudly, she penned, “My…fiance.”

Strangely, today, (a mere nine days later), FNC’s carnal cougar forgets her connubial bejeweled band. Has the thrice-married lovely left yet another lover? If so, perhaps, “beau John Jordan” can give Juliet’s former Mr. Wright a few coping tips.

Juliet’s back! And, back on the market to boot? Stay tuned.

Aly: “I’m Gonna Come Back!” Not!

Oops! She did it again–but, even worse! Yesterday, Fox & Friends fill-in Alisyn Camerota overslept and was half an hour late for the show: Today, she did not even make her promised return!

Substituting for the frequently absent Gretchen Carlson Monday, a chagrined Aly made her appearance on the program tardy by more than thirty minutes: After initially jesting that she had run off with the band Lonestar (F&F’s Friday summer concert band with Aly as sexy cowbell belle), she blamed it on her Blackberry alarm not going off and her malfunctioning internal alarm clock. Aptly, she said that she was sorry to her co-hosts, Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade, and emergency sub Ainsley Earhardt and asked for her audience’s forgiveness, saying, “I apologize. It’s so embarrassing!”

Much later, when the show was about to end, Steve alluded anew to Aly’s faux pas, saying, “Well, you know, things started, Aly actually didn’t look like [she] was going to make the show because the alarm didn’t go off.”* Deadpanning, Aly mischievously asked, “Is that the story [that] you are going with?” Smiling, Steve riposted, “Well, that’s what you told us!” Licking her upper lip impishly, Aly answered, “Oh! I didn’t know if we were going with the tour bus story or the alarm clock. I like both!”

Subsequently, as usual, Brian teased the next day’s show, announcing F&F‘s upcoming guests (Dr. Oz, Senator Marco Rubio, Miranda Kerr, and Laura Ingraham). Touting Tuesday’s show further, Steve remarked, “It’s a fantastic show.” In concert, raising her left hand for emphasis immediately, Aly declared, “I’m gonna come back!” Concluding, Steve exclaimed, “Alright!”: Turning to his F&F viewers, he added, “And, we hope you do, too!”

Unfortunately for Aly’s fans who returned to F&F today, their lovely lady was not true to her word. I.e., she did not return. On the bright side today, a second South Carolina “Morning Glory,” Anna Kooiman, was there today to arouse them at the break of the dawn.

*Fox & Friends – 06/03/13 (@ 8:59 a.m ET)

Dana’s “Foolish Mistake”: Stealing $20 from Mom

“I did that once, Mom. Sorry!” The Five co-host Dana Perino admitted Friday that she once had sticky fingers for her mother’s moolah. During a segment on the I.R.S.’s “targeting” of conservative groups during the 2012 campaign period, Dana derided the I.R.S.’s Commissioner’s dismissal of the excessive scrutiny as “foolish mistakes”: Arching her eyebrows, Dana declared, “A foolish mistake is when you take twenty dollars from your Mom’s purse when you really shouldn’t have. That was a foolish mistake.”*

Immediately, co-anchor Kimberly Guilfoyle interjected, “I never did that!”

Pointing to Dana with his right thumb accusingly, co-host Greg Gutfeld responded, “She did.”

Squinting her eyes at Greg with more than a hint of agitation, Dana confessed, “I did that once, Mom. Sorry!”

The Five‘s naif Dana Perino: I’m not that innocent!

*The Five – 05/1 – 05/18/13 (@ 5:12 p.m. ET)

Bill Hemmer: RE’s “Notorious PAB”

Patti Ann Browne: “Yeah, you know me.”* But, many of America’s Newsroom viewers probably do not know her, i.e., that their demurely dressed guest co-anchor has deigned to moonlight with the demimonde as an FNC late night vixen. To wit, Red Eye host Greg Gutfeld aptly marveled, “She’s so sweet: And, yet, she’s so dirty! The duality of woman!”**

For those who might think that Patti Ann appears to have been plucked from their local PTA, they may well want to remember the Harper Valley version. Only, this prim and proper mommy by day got her groove on after midnight. As her Red Eye appearances show, she can be tough, bawdy, and, oh, so sexy!

Bravo, Bill, for reminding PAB devotees that their dame is “not that innocent.”

[Author’s aside: The title is taken from the exchange between Bill and PAB as the second hour of AN began. Bill queried, “What did they call you, “Notorious PAB” on Red Eye? PAB answered, “They do! Yeah, you know me.”]

*America’s Newsroom – 08/07/12 (@ 9:59 a.m. ET)

**Red Eye – 12/31/08 (Vid – 2:14/2:22)

Kimberly’s “21st Birthday”: Andrea’s 22 Shots!

Eric Bolling: “Bubblicious!” The Five co-anchor and former Victoria’s Secret model Kimberly Guilfoyle tried to play the naif Friday as she celebrated her “21st” birthday. But, co-hosts Andrea Tantaros and, yes, Dana Perino proudly let their audience know that they were “not that innocent.” As to the guys, not too surprisingly, Bob Beckel joined in as the bad boy and Eric was the good one.

When The Five returned for their penultimate segment yesterday to a strawberry shortcake birthday cake (Kimberly’s fave) and the Beatle’s “Birthday” tune, Kimberly sexily shimmied in her short red dress seated next to an appreciative Bob, who awkwardly danced along with her. Soon after the music ended, Bob announced Kimberly’s “21st birthday,” kidded her about the “special friend [that she had] brought with [her],” and asked her for her fondest memory of her “first” one. Pulling her hair back sensually, a chagrined Kimberly cooed, “So, listen. I only recently became a lot of fun, Bob: I know you may find this hard to believe.”

Randily, Bob replied, “No, baby, that’s not what I hear.”

Giggling, Kimberly responded, “That’s terrible.” Then, she continued, “But, on my twenty-first birthday, I was at UC, Davis–very nerdy, academic school….I ended up being the designated driver on my twenty-first birthday, and no one objected!…So, there I was with my glasses…so thick [that] I could see into the future. And, I was driving everybody and everyone [else] had a great time.”

Laughing, Bob riposted, “I was the designated drunk on my birthday. That’s why I can’t remember one of them.”

Subsequently, after having Kimberly blow out birthday candles, Bob asked Eric if he remembered what he did on his twenty-first birthday. Soberly, Eric responded, “I, I was knee deep in a baseball season…March of…’84 playing baseball on my way to…making a career out of baseball for a while: So, I probably didn’t celebrate as much as I could have.”

Dismissively, Bob jibed, “Really? Well, that was an interesting story. Okay, Dana?” Furrowing her eyebrows, a chuckling Dana answered, “Mine is not that great. I, it wasn’t like Kimberly where I was the designated driver. But, I just remember [that] I came home from college and there were a bunch of my friends home in Parker, Colorado, and we got together at my parents’ house.” With, a seemingly feigned nonchalance, she added, “And, I think, I guess we probably went to a bar. I don’t really, I don’t remember. It wasn’t that memorable.”

When Bob asked Andrea for her anecdote, she rhetorically queried, “So, I’m, apparently, the only one who had a great twenty-first birthday?” Smiling slightly, She remarked, “I don’t remember all that much. Isn’t that the point of a twenty-first birthday?” Elaborating, she said, “I went to a place called the Crocodile Rocks–classy, classy. My sister, who always wants to go out with me–my birthday is December 30th–so no one ever wants to go out on the 30th ’cause they don’t won’t to ruin themselves for New Year. Not my sister, though. She says, ‘We’re going to Crocodile Rocks [and] we’re inviting all your friends.” And, I did twenty-two shots.”

Amazed, Kimberly exclaimed, “No, you didn’t!” Shamelessly, Andrea answered, “I puked at sixteen but I did make it to twenty-two. As incredulous Kimberly rejoined, “How did you live through that? Are you serious?, Dana interjected, “But, why twenty-two?”  Chuckling, Andrea explained, “One for good luck. And, look where it brought me!”

Not to be outdone by Andrea, a rambling Bob replied, “I got to tell you. The only reason I remember that far back on my twenty-first birthday [is that] I was in the hospital the night of my twenty-first birthday because I got drunk and I was walking out of a bar and I fell over a bunch of garbage cans that had glass in them and I cut myself a little bit. That wasn’t so bad except that I rolled in it for fun and then I went to the hospital. But, I was okay….But, I don’t remember much of it.”

Subsequently, wrapping up Kimberly’s birthday segment, Bob asked his co-hosts for one word to describe the birthday babe. Eric exclaimed, “Bubblicious!” Dana chimed, “Sweet,” and Andrea answered, “Fun.” Perhaps, just a little jealous of Kimberly “special friend” off cam, a seemingly smitten Bob stammered, “Unbelievable, Baby! Yeah, no, really, you’re great. You’re wonderful….We love you and, and I know other people do, too, here in the building.” Knowingly, Kimberly chuckled, “A couple!”

Five fun: 21, 22, and Kimberly’s “couple.”

Kimberly’s Sexy Secret?

Guilfoyle: Bob, do you want some mouth-to-mouth? The Five co-host and sexy former Victoria’s Secret lingerie model Kimberly Guilfoyle used her womanly wiles on co-anchor Bob Beckel to keep her own secret. And, he did not seem to mind in the very least.

In The Five‘s penultimate block about the BlackBerry outage, Bob complained that his co-hosts used their cell phones incessantly during the break. He groused, “Yes, I may talk to my bookie but you guys talk to thousands of different people.” Turning to Bob, Kimberly sniped, “Listen, Miss Britney Spears over here, not so innocent, because you know what else is coming in on that phone.”

Shaking his head with a goatish grin, Bob retorted, “Don’t get into that.” As she guffawed with gusto, Bob riposted, “If you do, if you do…you want to start opening that, that, that can? You want that can opened up, doe?” As Kimberly grabbed his arm and put her other hand over his mouth, she cooed, “Bob, you want some mouth-to-mouth?”

Pulling her hand away, a rakish Bob continued, “I don’t think you do! I don’t think you do.” Rolling her forefingers, Kimberly implored, “Go to break!” Beaming impishly, Bob replied, “You want to go to a break? I see. I bet you do after that. Oh, that was a mistake!” In response, an embarrassed Kimberly animatedly signaled Greg to proceed to commercial break.

As Greg began to read the tease, he stopped mid-sentence: Glancing back at Kimberly puckishly, he laughed, “See, that was your mistake!” Subsequently, after he had completed his tease and the camera began to pan away from them, Kimberly arched her eyebrows at Greg and shook her finger at him, mouthing, “You didn’t help me!”

No, Kimberly, Greg didn’t. Nor did he reveal your sexy secret. But, hopefully, he will!

*The Five – 10/13/11 (@ 5:53 p.m. ET)

Related Carpe Diem story: “Ann Coulter: We Look Fantastic Naked!“

Megyn: No Body Shots

Kelly: “There’s nothing wrong with sex appeal and there’s nothing wrong with sex.” Today America Live co-host Megyn Kelly adamantly defended coming-of-age Miley Cyrus’ sexy new video, “Who Owns My Heart.” In a segment with Parents Television Council president Tim Winter, who took issue with the young music star for her video’s risque content, Megyn observed, “Miley Cyrus, yes, she’s seventeen years old but she is, she looks like, she acts like a woman now….Isn’t she entitled to be a little sexy?”* Elaborating somewhat lubriciously, Megyn continued, “I know, I know she’s racy in this in black underwear, black and lace eye mask, scantily dressed, and there’s gyrating and there’s caressing herself.” Then, she queried, “But…how long does she owe this obligation to these young girls to sort of maintain a G-rated image?”

As Winter began to respond that most parents did not want Miley to follow the steps of Britney Spears from wholesome Disney star to wayward idol, Megyn asked, “What do you think this is going to do to the little girls who have loved her as little Hannah Montana?” When Winter replied that it was the “latest symptom in…a very broad epidemic of sexualization of little girls” in the modern culture, Megyn responded, “You know, some people would talk about it as sexual liberation as sort of–I’m not talking about the little girls–but sort of getting to the point where you’re almost at the age of maturity–Miley turns eighteen in November–and…coming into your own as a woman and understanding your own sex appeal.” Concluding her spiel, she declared, “There is nothing wrong with sex appeal and there’s nothing wrong with sex….How old does she have to be before that piece of her personality, her personhood can be embraced?”

Ironically, of late, Megyn herself has failed to appreciate her own sex appeal. Rather, than flaunting her sexy stems as usual, she has recently eschewed any shots below the waist. Perhaps, Megyn should ask herself when she will embrace anew that “piece of her personality, her personhood”?

America Live – 10/11/10 (@1:47 p.m. ET)

Update: Johnny Dollar kindly e-mailed the explanation for AL‘s recent lack of “body shots” of Megyn. He revealed, “Megyn is in a different studio. Hers is being revamped for election-night duties. The shots are close-in because it’s a smaller space.”

Kiran: Jump on It! [Updated]

“Oops, I Did It Again!” was the message that American Morning co-host Kiran Chetry sent her Twitter followers this morning. To be exact, she Tweeted, “If you see something on my leg this AM, it’s an aircast. I sprained my ankle pretty badly jumping on a trampoline!” As her Twitter followers may remember, Kiran likewise injured herself (albeit her neck then) last year on a trampoline (Moonbounce) as she showed off for her daughter Maya’s friends at a birthday party with an ill-fated flip.

Strangely, Kiran, co-anchor John Roberts, and AM producer Jamie Kraft made no mention of Kiran’s sprained ankle during the show today. In fact, the cameraperson seemed intent on concealing it: e.g., in Kiran’s standing shots, she was shown from basically the knee up. However, on occasion, her cast could be barely seen from a distance when AM returned from commercial break as the camera panned the studio.

Conversely, could one imagine its juggernaut competitor, Fox & Friends, missing such an opportunity to connect personally with its audience and showcase its co-host? Surely, its hosts, especially, Brian Kilmeade, would have given Kiran all kinds of grief as to how she was injured as their cameraperson took more than a few lingering shots of her gorgeous gams. However, AM executive producer Jamie Kraft seems to have taken the mayo tack to news–all too distinct from the spicier salsa approach that his predecessor Janelle Rodriguez had preferred.

Second-chance suggestion: Jamie, let JD pick a few songs to showcase Kiran’s injury on the trampoline, e.g., Sir Mix-A-Lot’s “Jump on It,” Pointer Sisters’ “Jump (For My Love),” or Van Halen’s “Jump”. Or, maybe even include the Van Halen vid itself, too, in which lead singer David Lee Roth bears a resemblance to John in his MuchTV veejay days: a twofer! At the very least, have John and Kiran do another “What’s Under the Desk” segment.

Jamie, “Jump on It”!

Update: According to Mediabistro.com, Kiran is supposed to have her ankle in an aircast for 4-6 weeks but she hopes to have it off sooner, i.e., the Friday before the 2010 Daytime Emmys (June 27, 2010). (Kiran’s seemingly self-shot close-up of her ankle is included in the Mediabistro.com article.)

John Roberts: “WTF!”

Not yet. American Morning co-anchor John Roberts has not quite dropped the “f” bomb but he came ever closer today. Less than two months ago, he used the hybrid “frucking” in frustration at a teleprompter’s bad info.* Today he went one step further and exclaimed, “WTF!”

During a “Best Band in the Land” segment which ranked the top acts, the rankings were as follow: Beatles at #1, Elvis at #5, Carrie Underwood #9, Jimi Hendrix #11, and Madonna #17. John, the Hall of Fame former MuchMusic veejay, said, “Wow! Wait a minute. Carrie Underwood at #9? I like Carrie Underwood just fine but WTF with her being in the top ten!” After audible ooh’s and laughter from the crew, John asked, “I didn’t do it again, did I?”

Chuckling, co-host Kiran Chetry disingenously declared, “I don’t know what that means!” Laughing, John responded, “What the flip? What the flip is she is doing in the #10 or #9 spot?”

Yes, John: You did it again! Now where does Britney rank on that list?

*https://jakeho.wordpress.com/2009/06/23/johns-fing-bridge/

AM (08/12/09) – @7:49 a.m. ET

Dave: I’m Not That Indolent

Having explained away his missing wedding ring away earlier last Saturday,* Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Dave Briggs decided to clear up another misconception, i.e., that he was the pampered “princess”** that he had portrayed himself to be early in his stint at F&FW.”*** Rather, he was a proud member of the hoi polloi.

During a minimum-wage-increase story (mentioning tip wages staying the same) read by co-anchor Alisyn Camerota, Dave interjected, “$2.13.” Aly continued, “That’s what I was making as a waitress back then.” Dave replied, “Me, too. Ten years ago.”

Appearing to not believe his ears, co-anchor Clayton Morris commented, “Wait a minute. I just heard something that I don’t believe I’ve ever heard before. You were a waiter?” Dave answered, “Absolutely. I was a waiter for many years. I know that you guys think that I never worked before I arrived here on this couch.” Aptly, Aly replied, “Right.” After Dave iterated his long work experience as a waiter, dubiously, Aly asked, “Where? Where? Name the restaurant.”

Dave responded, “There were two restaurants. One is a local restaurant and the other is gonna conjure up graphic [unknown ellipsis].” Then Clayton teased, “Did it start with an ‘h’ and have two “o'”s in it?” Refute Clayton quickly, Dave immediately replied, “Red Robin.” Approvingly, Aly added, “Red Robin. Oh, I love Red Robin. Those cheeseburgers: Ah! Come to mama!”

Speaking of which, the self-professed “mama’s boy” wanted his fans to know that he was not entirely entangled in his mom’s apron strings.**** In short, asserting some independence and paraphrasing Britney, Dave appeared to proclaim, “I’m not that indolent!”

*https://jakeho.wordpress.com/2009/07/28/daves-missing-ring-my-wife-knows/

**https://jakeho.wordpress.com/2008/08/24/princess-dave/

***https://jakeho.wordpress.com/2008/05/17/briggs-newest-career/

****https://jakeho.wordpress.com/2009/04/04/mamas-boy-briggs/

Ainsley Unleashed: “Not that Innocent”

Ringless Ainsley robustly and randily returned to Fox & Friends today. The erstwhile sweet, innocent Southern belle once again readily embraced her seemingly solo status (from hubby Kevin McKinney)* after her “His Huge Meat” Memorial Day on F&F.** Today it ran the gamut from the reasonably adiaphorous to a somewhat Madonna-like utterance.

Innocuously, Ainsley reminded co-anchors Clayton Morris and Dave Briggs and her audience that she is no longer home-bound when she apprised them that she had been out late with the girls last night (when F&F brass asked her to host F&F today). Then she read the Nearly Naked Fireworks report for Clayton so that he “could look at the [‘degrading and immoral’] video” of the bikini-clad beauties. Penultimately, she risquely bemoaned not being able to get a better look at two cops making out on a dash cam “in the heat of the moment.”

Ultimately, however, Ainsley pushed the envelope over the line even for her F&F crew. In a Petgadgets.com segment including dog cams, Ainsley asked, “What’s the most interesting thing that you’ve caught on camera?” The spokeswoman replied, “I don’t even want to imagine if the pets are in the bedroom. Hello!” Ainsley laughed, “What they’re doing: Licking, right?” The guest’s eyes abruptly widened and she guffawed, “Oh, my gosh!” In the background, someone [sounding like Clayton, if not he] interjected, “Oh, please!”

As Britney Spears might opine, “Oops! Ainsley did it again. She’s not that innocent!”***

*http://www.thecolumbiastar.net/news/2005/0415/Society/203.html

**https://jakeho.wordpress.com/2009/05/26/ringless-ainsley-his-huge-meat/

***http://www.mtv.com/lyrics/spears_britney/oops_i_did_it_again/1943318/lyrics.jhtml

If You Seek A Megyn

In response to Internet gainsayers, America’s Newsroom Megyn Kelly proved today beyond a reasonable doubt that the moralizing anchor in Britney Spear’s video, “If You Seek Amy,” was indeed lampooning her. In an interview with the actress herself, Kristina Mitchell, Megyn queried, “Let’s put this to rest once and for all: Were you or were you not trying to imitate me in that video clip?”

Less than coyly, Kristina answered, “I was.” As if on cross, again Megyn asked, “You were?”  Tilting her head, crinkling her nose, and smiling saucily, she answered, “Guilty as charged!” “I knew it!” exclaimed Megyn.

When Megyn asked for details, Kristina replied that Britney’s people at the music video audition instructed, “Kinda Megyn Kellyesque.” She elaborated, “I Googled and YouTubed you and tried to blow dry my hair perfectly–which took hours. Elucidating further, Kristina commented, “I tried to think American, and I thought Bree Van De Camp [Desperate Housewife played by Marcia Cross]…very sweet with a little bit of apple pie and a little bit of sass.”

Blandishingly, Kristina japed, “Once you get Megyn Kelly, there’s no going back!” Megyn rejoined, “Amen to that, sister!” Somehow, I think Doug might agree.

https://jakeho.wordpress.com/2009/03/17/megyn-bring-it-britney/

Megyn: Bring It, Britney!

If U Seek Amy, Megyn: Catfight! Even though Britney Spears spoofed America’s Newsroom co-host hottie Megyn Kelly as a moralizing anchor in her video “If U Seek Amy,” Megyn relished the sex kitten’s claws. In an aptly named segment, “Cat Fight! Britney Calls Out Kelly’s Court,” Megyn reminded viewers that she had taken Britney “to task” in a past Kelly’s Court over the x-rated lyrics transparent in the title.

Thereafter she played the pop princess’ video which opened and ended with a blond “news anchor” on “America’s News” that looked and sounded like Megyn and who echoed her words precisely. As the vid started, the actress slowly said, “If U Seek Amy” and as it ended, she asked, “Doesn’t make any sense, does it?” Megyn laughed heartily and queried, “Did she take a shot at “moi”? I think so!”

Then facetiously, challenging Britney, she exclaimed, “Bring it, Britney! Come on!” As an aside to the audience, she said, “We have invited Britney Spears to come on this program. Showdown!” Playfully, pretending to bare her claws, she snarled saucily.

Fox fight!

OK! Kiran Delivers!

According to CNN, last night at 10:45 p.m. American Morning co-host Kiran Chetry, her hubby NYC WPIX weatherman Chris Knowles, and their daughter Maya Rose welcomed a new addition to their family, Christopher Chetry Knowles. The baby boy weighed seven pounds zero ounces. Kiran described him as looking “so much like [his] Daddy,” according to People.

Little Chris came into the world a luminary like his lovely mother. According to Kiran’s AM co-host John Roberts, OK! Magazine has an exclusive on his baby pics: Ergo, AM was not able to show any photos. Kiran joins other hottie celeb moms like Angelina Jolie, Christina Aguilera, Britney Spears, and Jennifer Lopez in this reasonably new trend.

Your many friends and fans at both CNN and FNC (especially Fox & Friends) are very happy for you both. God has blessed you with both a daughter and a son. Congratulations, Kiran and Chris!

CNN: AM – 04/18/08
Link: http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20192750,00.html

Lindsay: The Last Standing

Lindsay Lohan appears to be the last member of the ruling pop tart trio standing. As to her two partners in party, Paris Hilton suffers from media fatigue and Britney Spears suffers from mental fatigue. The thrice rehabbed Lohan has come back from the brink of struggles with alcohol and drugs and has scored the ultimate American cheesecake photo shoot. She stars in Bert Stern’s recreation of his memorable “The Last Sitting” with Marilyn Monroe which is featured in New York magazine. (Marilyn’s iconic photos were shot six weeks before her death: some displayed a nude, doe-eyed demimondaine draped on a bed of white linen and others show the cine siren hiding coyly behind diaphanous scarfs.) Stern raved, “It was very similar, deja vu…like revisiting an old street.” Lohan said that she wanted to recreate the famous session: “I wanted to…get it point-on as much as I could.” Of her interpretation, she stated, “Here is a woman who is giving herself to the public.” Lohan added, “She’s saying, ‘Look, you’ve taken a lot from me, so why don’t I give it to you myself’: She’s taking control back.”

Cf. http://media.nymag.com/fashion/08/spring/44247