Anna: “I’m Happy for the Opportunity”

Kilmeade: “You’re doing great!” Fox & Friends Weekend co-anchor Anna Kooiman does double duty and the Fox & Friends weekday boys seem to like it. Today, Fox & Friends co-host Steve Doocy opened the show, remarking, “Brian [Kilmeade], you know, you and I took off over the weekend, and she’s still here!”

Grinning Puckishly as ever, Brian replied, “It’s unbelievable!”

Smiling sweetly, Steve replied, “Anna has worked about twenty straight days. God bless her!”

Flattered, a chagrined Anna chuckled, “No, it hasn’t been that long! I’m happy for the opportunity! Thanks for having me on the couch!”

Aptly, Brian answered, “Yeah, you’re doing great!”

Indeed, Anna has been doing great as the “girl in the middle” on the F&F curvy couch as of late: And, she seems to be ready to take the reins without any real competition.

But, if Anna does take Elisabeth Hasselbeck‘s erstwhile spot on the F&F curvy couch, the obvious question is who will replace the vivacious blond beauty in the F&FW center seat.

Since Anna is reigning on both the F&F and F&FW curvy couches rather than having subs, e.g., Nicole Petallides, Kimberly Guilfoyle, etc., help her out, one begins to wonder if the FNC suits are waiting for F&F First co-anchor Ainsley Earhardt to return from maternity leave and to retake her old spot on the F&F Weekend curvy couch to ease the transition for Anna from the weekend to the weekday.

Between opinionated alpha male Tucker Carlson and peevish beta male Clayton Morris, Ainsley just might be that next sweet Southern belle that can continue to make F&FW work.

Megyn: AE’s Secret, Shep’s Gaffe & Cine Cameo?

Memorable musings: Ainsley Earhardt hawks bikini babe; Shepard Smith shuns Fox News viewing; and Megyn Kelly cameos in Assange movie! Things the author should have probably said–yesterday.

On August 11, Fox & Friends Weekend guest co-host Ainsley divulged perhaps the “secret formula” for the storied success of FNC. After two too cute segments, F&FW meteorologist Rick Reichmuth remarked, “I think [that] we need to make a split screen of that baby and the panda bears: Yeah, and then just watch that all day long.” Concurring, anchor Tucker Carlson concurred, “That’s ratings gold.” Smiling racily, Ainsley added, “Put a girl in a bikini in the third slot, and there you go: Babies, pets, and girls!…This is what we learned in journalism school.”*

Five days later, as a Studio B segment concluded, host Shep unapologetically revealed, “I’m not much of a TV guy….There’s the Yankees, the Rebels, and the True Blood: That’s it! Nothing else!” Perhaps, after a word in his ear from producers, Shep hastily added, “Ah, and Megyn! I watch Megyn: She’s on vacation so I don’t have to watch her right now.”**

Yesterday, during his Fox & Friends review of the Toronto International Film Festival flicks, NerdTears.com film critic Kevin McCarthy disclosed that “Megyn Kelly makes an appearance” in The Fifth Estate, an Assange cine, which opens to the public on October 18. Elaborating, he said, “They have some news footage of her talking about the Wikileaks story….She’s in the movie a little bit from Fox News.”***

Trio’s musings import? Megyn Maxim, er, GQ goddess!

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 08/11/13 (@ 8:39 p.m. ET)

**Studio B with Shepard Smith – 08/16/13 (@ 3:55 p.m. ET)

***Fox & Friends – 09/06/13 (@ 8:25 a.m. ET)

F&FF’s Old Turkey: “Scrambled Up!”

Finally, thrown out? Thankfully, Fox & Friends First‘s awkward “Scrambled Up” signature sign-off seems to have surceased around Thanksgiving. After almost a month of its absence as the segue segment from F&FF to Fox & Friends, it seems safe to say that it has run its course. Now, there is no toss from F&FF co-hosts to their F&F counterparts: instead of the usual hand-off, the F&FF co-anchors crisply conclude their show and simply announce that F&F is next.

For FNC fans who have dreaded the tortured toss exchanges between the F&FF co-hosts and their Fox & Friends colleagues, the change is a welcome one. The F&FF ladies (Ainsley Earhardt, Heather Childers, Heather Nauert, and Patti Ann Browne) no longer have to play second fiddle to F&F diva Gretchen Carlson or her boys, Brian Kilmeade and Steve Doocy. In fact, they don’t have to play at all with their seemingly scornful sibs who appeared to disdain playing the “Scrambled Up!” jumble with their  F&FF “little sisters.”

Apparently, Ainz, PAB, and the two Heathers are all grown up now–and on their own. At last.

F&FF: Maria Molina M.I.A. [Updated]

One less fox on Fox? Fox & Friends First meteorologist Maria Molina has been missing from her FNC early morning show for the last two days without any explanation from F&FF. Yesterday, her “First Degree” forecasts were omitted yesterday entirely. Today, they were replaced Spartanly with “Extreme Weather Center” graphics and maps without so much as a voice-over to accompany them.* Bizarrely, F&FW co-hosts Ainsley Earhardt and Patti Ann Browne gave no reason for F&FF‘s changes yesterday or today: In fact, they both failed to even mention Maria’s name.

Stranger yet, Maria did give a weather report yesterday–on Twitter. She Tweeted, “Warm, sunny day in NYC… Made it out to the Central Park Zoo earlier today, seals staying cool in the water :) http://fb.me/1V6IbRODD.” But, F&FF‘s weather beauty offered her followers not a clue as to whether she was playing hooky or whether she had been expelled.

Maria: M.I.A.? Hopefully, she’s just A.W.O.L. for awhile. Regardless, her F&FF fans are ready for her to report for duty immediately.

F&FF – 07/13/12 (@ 5:10 a.m. ET and @ 5:39 a.m. ET, respectively)

Update: Mea culpa! CD reader Motownman was right: cf. comment #1, infra. The author had incorrectly inferred from watching F&FF that Maria was the official F&FF meteorologist and that Janice Dean, “The Weather Machine,” filled in for her. When the author inquired of Maria (with links to Janice & F&FF) whether that were the case, Janice kindly responded, “Hey Jakeho! Maria does Mon-Wed FFF, and I do Thurs/Fri. I’m off for a few days. Maria is back on Sat afternoon! :)” She sweetly added, ” I know it can be confusing! :) Thank you for caring tho! We both appreciate it!”

WOMAN: “Whoa”man or “Woah”man?

True feminists: Pants or no pants? For AM’s Christine Romans vs. F&F’s Gretchen Carlson, that is the question. This morning, American Morning biz babe Chistine Romans and Fox & Friends comely co-host Gretchen Carlson seem to disagree on true feminism. I.e., whether the true path to gender equality is to mimic a man or to embrace one’s feminine power.

On AM today, Christine gleefully trumpeted AM New York‘s “Now She Wears the Pants” article on the “rise of wives” as to the increasing percentage of women who earn more than their husbands and who are better educated. (Christine’s implicit position seemed to be that the sexist trope “wearing the pants” was worthy of aspiration since it exemplified one’s greater worth within the familial unit and culture as a whole.) However, on F&F this morning, Gretchen (after the show began to the American Idol rap of “Pants on the Ground, Pants on the Ground), riantly remarked, “Who’d have thunk that that would be our motto since I never wear pants. At least, at work!” (Gretchen’s implied message seemed to echo her colleague Ainsley Earhardt who famously declared, “See, here at Fox, we like to be feminine so we don’t wear the pants.”)

As insignificant as it may seem, the newswomen’s different assertions actually mirror the current debate between the old school feminists and their postmodern counterparts. In other words, whether to mimic the “old boys” for success in the workplace or to embrace their own sexuality to achieve their own empowerment. In this arena, Hillary Clinton and Michelle Obama appear to have chosen different paths.

F&FW: Deja Vu

Former Fox & Friends Weekend headlines reporter Courtney Friel returned to the show Saturday to the delight of her admirers and the discomfit of her detractors. In the final fifteen minutes of the program, the blond beauty reviewed Thanksgiving weekend movies with co-anchors Dave Briggs and Clayton Morris. Then in the final segment, it was F&FW deja vu.

There sat Courtney on the curvy couch with the crew, Dave, Clayton, Rick Reichmuth, and Alisyn Camerota. The salient differences: she was no longer in the retinue of F&FW’s queen, and it was a different queen. (Aly had regained her throne from Ainsley Earhardt.) Recognizing the new reality, Courtney paid the new ruler homage by aping but not rivaling Aly’s regal garb: she wore a very similar beautiful burnt-red dress with decolletage and long-sleeves yet with a longer, less flattering hemline.

As the proverbial credits began to roll, Courtney waved a hopeful goodbye. A hint that FNC Senior VP of Programming Bill Shine is ending his “one-girl” F&F policy? Be she Courtney or another Fox News femme, let us hope so.

F&FW: The Tony Snow Show

Another media giant has fallen. Tony Snow, co-creator of Fox News Sunday, host of his eponymous radio show, and presidential speech writer (Bush 41) and press secretary (Bush 43) died early this morning of colon cancer at the age of 53. He is remembered as a man of good will toward all, including his political foes, who cherished God, his country, and his family above all else. Among the luminaries feting Tony today on Fox & Friends Saturday were President George H.W. Bush, former First Lady Barbara Bush, Fox News Chairman Roger Ailes, former Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert, NPR commentator and FNC contributor Juan Williams, and Roll Call executive editor and Beltway Boys co-anchor Mort Kondracke.

President George W. Bush also weighed in. Fox News’ Washington bureau correspondent Julie Kirtz read his eulogizing statement which said, “Laura and I are deeply saddened by the death of our dear friend, Tony Snow. Our thoughts and prayers are with his wife Jill and their children….The Snow family has lost a beloved husband and father and America has lost a devoted public servant and a man of character….All of us here at the White House will miss Tony as well as the millions of Americans he inspired with his brave struggle against cancer. One of the things that sustained Tony Snow was his faith and Laura and I join people across our country praying that this good man has now found comfort in the arms of his Creator.”

Today F&F’s A-Team did not step in as it had when Pope Benedict XVI visited the U.S. and when NBC’s Meet the Press legend Tim Russert died. However, F&F’s B-Team stepped up to the plate today: Ainsley Earhardt, Dave Briggs, and Clayton Morris acquitted themselves well and maintained a sober and respectful atmosphere. Even tragedy-averse Courtney Friel seemed subdued and did her best to dignify Tony’s death.

F&FW, a job well done: Tony deserved it.