New Day Disappears?

January 7, 2015

Santa’s gift: Three beauties and no beast. It was a strange morning after Christmas on CNN: New Day disappeared and Alisyn Camerota, Chris Cuomo, and Michaela Pereira were nowhere to be seen live. Instead, (CNN) Newsroom replaced New Day with Energizer bunny Christine Romans, pretty Poppy Harlow, and hottie Pamela Brown on the ND set.

Actually, it was a nice holiday gift from Old Saint Nick. Aly, Chris, and Michaela got a much deserved break: And, the viewers got three femme fatales for the day. Christine played the Iowa tomboy that dutifully doles out financial and other practical advice; Poppy played the attractive Everylady that reads the news for her airport audience savant and dullard alike; and Pamela (1971 Miss America Phyllis George’s daughter) played the sexy “younger blonde” that CNN honcho Jeff Zucker may need to “compete with Fox News.”

But, the bizarre thing to the author was that even though Christine, Poppy, and Pamela were on the New Day set in the ND time slot, CNN decided to ditch the ND name for the day and replace it with Newsroom. Perchance, Zucker wanted to be certain that his CNN viewers knew that his choice for now, at least, for his ND team was crystal clear: I.e., Aly, Chris, and Michael were his A-Team. After all, the three appeared on both Christmas Day and New Year’s Day to seemingly cement in viewers minds the new lineup on News Day.

Clayton’s Fave Mixologist Recants Again

January 4, 2015

Pamela Wiznitzer: Don’t mix any type of medicine with alcohol. Just don’t!” On New Year’s Day, Fox & Friends guest co-host Clayton Morris‘ favorite mixologist/bartender Wiznitzer returned once again to the curvy couch to coach those who had overly imbibed the night before how to recover from their hangovers. Introducing Wiznitzer, Clayton remarked, “Our friend, bartender/mixologist Pamela Wiznitzer, says [that] there are several more effective cures out there….If there is someone who knows how to mix a drink in this city, it is Pamela….So then you [Wiznitzer] also know how to combat all of your hard work the next morning.”*

In response, Wiznitzer declared, “I will say, ‘There are no cures.’ There are some remedies and ways that you can help out that hangover: But, there’s no way to actually cure it.” Elaborating, she advised Clayton and his guest co-anchors Ainsley Earhardt and Peter Doocy that one should drink water (or coconut water); eat whole wheat toast, bananas, and/or honey; drink coffee (if one is a coffee drinker); take an extra nap; and work out. Subsequently, she cautioned, “Don’t mix any type of medicine with alcohol. Just don’t!” For any doubting Thomas, she iterated, “But, don’t take anything: Don’t mix medicine! It’s not smart with alcohol!”

Wiznitzer’s latest counsel to those suffering from the ill effects of a Bacchanalian evening was welcome news to the author. On 10/13/13, in an F&F segment with Clayton, she said, “Aspirin is not what you should be taking if you’re drinking….But, ibuprofen and Tylenol are very safe!”: When a Tweeter rebutted Wiznitzer’s assertion re Tylenol, saying, “Tylenol and Alcohol cause liver damage,” she conceded, “Indeed you are right….Never mix the two.” When she returned about two months later to another segment with Clayton on F&FW (12/07/13), she recanted her earlier advice to viewers re mixing Tylenol and alcohol, declaring, “Tylenol can be dangerous. There are studies that lead to the fact that it can have issues with your kidney. Severe issues!”: However, she indicated that Advil was safe.

On New Year’s Day 2015, Witnitzer and F&FW finally embraced the author’s take on a mixologist/bartender’s giving medical advice on air. In his Carpe Diem article entitled, “F&FW Med Malpractice? Tylenol Hangover Cure! Oops: Partier Alert!” the author snarked, “Medical advice from a mixologist/bartender? Seriously?!” Even though Witnitzer may play a psychiatrist behind the bar, she seems to have conceded, she has no business trying to play “doctor” on TV.

Last call, Pamela? Good call!

[Author’s aside: At the end of her segment, Witnitzer turned to F&FW patron Clayton, saying, “Happy birthday! So, we brought you a little present, a little bit of gin (bottle of Aviation American gin) ’cause you do like your martinis!…A little hair of the dog for this morning!”]

*Fox & Friends – 01/01/15 (@ 7:39 a.m. ET)

PETER Doocy Debuts on F&F

January 1, 2015

STEVE Doocy: “This guy filling in for me today on is waaaay to comfortable on that couch!” FNC correspondent Peter Doocy made his debut on the curvy couch this New Year’s Day morn, subbing for his dad, long-time Fox & Friends co-anchor, Steve Doocy. Like a fish to water, Peter seamlessly interacted with his fellow guest co-hosts, F&F veteran fill-ins, Ainsley Earhardt and Clayton Morris: Like father, like son, he was a natural: He deftly reported the news to his viewers and also did not shy away from sharing his personal life with F&F fans.

Showcasing fan fave Steve’s son at the start of the show, producers aired video of Peter as a charming little boy singing “Side by Side” for his proud papa and an appreciative audience. Introducing Peter as guest co-host to the audience, Clayton exclaimed, “Peter Doocy in for Steve Doocy this morning!” Subsequently, Clayton asked Peter about what he did last night (New Year’s Eve): Peter answered that he arrived by train, requested “the quietest room” in a hotel a block away from Times Square; and “slept like a baby.” Apparently, he got his rest and was ready to roll: In fact, when Peter took his co-anchor position this early morn, he performed so facilely that his delighted dad Tweeted, “This guy filling in for me today on is waaaay to comfortable on that couch!”

Well, Peter certainly was at home: And, his dad’s work family at F&F wanted to introduce him more fully to their viewers. Starting with a virile vid block in the first hour, “Clayton’s favorite” showed Peter as a confident young lad with his sister Mary on “Take Your Kid to Work” Day, blithely reporting on his dad’s activities in the FNC building. Later, in a “Meet Peter Doocy” segment (teased by a “Hot Stuff” lilt by Donna Summer), footage of his reporting in the field of his interviewing Bin Laden killer SEAL Robert O’Neill ran: On a more personal level, the Washington-based reporter revealed that he grew up a NY Yankees fan but loved to go to Washington Nationals games; that his “guilty pleasure” movie is “Dumb and Dumber”; that he was “nervous” to see boy-band O-Town in the past (“but, no, that is not my favorite band…[for]…the record”). Too boot, in case, Peter’s new F&F fans wanted to know more, he disclosed that his 2015 New Year’s resolution was that he wanted to Tweet and Instagram more.*

Good job, Peter, filling in for your dad on the curvy couch: Hope to see you more on it!

*Fox & Friends – 01/01/15 (@ 7:03 a.m. ET).

F&F: SENATOR Brown Breaks Bad

December 29, 2014

“They just call me Scott.” The “cool” whilom GOP senator that took Dem lion “Ted Kennedy’s seat” took his seat on the curvy couch this morning. The former Cosmo nude pinup and its “America’s Sexiest Man” brought levity and gravity to the F&F set today as a holiday guest co-host fill-in for Steve Doocy. On one hand, “Senator Scott Brown” reminded viewers that he had infamously told supporters that his sexy daughters Ayla and Arianna were available at his U. S. Massachusetts Senatorial acceptance speech: On the other, the retired Army National Guard colonel tutored a guest on Army contractor liability.

On the fun side, the MA Senator revealed that he was familiar with the U.S. Senate etiquette police who insisted that the boys had to wear socks even if the female Senators were able to flash some ankle. Furthermore, in an F&FMeet Scott segment [that showed footage of “Scott” jamming with Cheap Trick onstage (vid)], he exclaimed, “It was one of the highlights of my life playing with Rick Nielson, being pulled out of the crowd and playing with Cheap Trick!”

Understandably, F&F guest co-anchor Clayton Morris referred to Brown as “Senator” and F&F co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck called him Colonel. But, if Senator and/or Colonel Scott Brown is going to make it on the curvy couch, he will have to be just Scott: “Senator” or “Colonel” is fine for a guest but it is unacceptable for a real “Friend.”

Welcome to the curvy couch, Senator. Since you are scheduled to back on F&F tomorrow, maybe, the author  should say, “Welcome to the curvy couch, Scott!”

[Author’s aside: Re the subtitle, supra, in the opening “A block” introducing Senator Scott Brown to the F&F fans, the “Senator” said, “Kids, you know how it goes, but they just call me ‘Scott’ certainly.”]
Update: Perchance, Scott read Carpe Diem: When he returned to F&F the very next day (12/30/14), he was welcomed back to the curvy couch by Elisabeth as “Senator Brown”: He replied, “Just call me, Scott, guys!”

Anna’s Holiday Hosts: F&F Fail!

December 27, 2014

Guest co-host Leland Vittert: “We may never leave!” Scary. Fox & Friends Weekend co-anchor Anna Kooiman looked ill at ease on the curvy couch sandwiched between F&FW virgin co-hosts Leland Vittert and Connell McShane. (Leland is a FNC foreign correspondent based in Jerusalem, and Connell is the FBN “Imus in the Morning” newsreader.) The ever gregarious Energizer Bunny tried her hardest to introduce the two newbies to F&FW fans and to create, at least, a modicum of chemistry. Anna succeeded–barely, to put it charitably.

The usual playful banter and racy double entendres that have been F&FW staples were not existent. Even the small talk among Anna, Leland, and Connell seemed strained and stilted. To make matters worse, Leland took a strange shot at his dad’s looks* and Connell delivered a gratuitous jab to Fox & Friends Weekend.**

Perhaps, FNC’s Bill Shine (or his underlings) decided that he could foist the two tyros on his most dedicated F&FW fans for a tryout (since they would probably watch no matter what): Well, this loyal F&FW fan did watch–and almost wished he had not.

The youthful Anna is great: But, she is no Alisyn Camerota who could carry F&FW no matter who her bookends were. F&FW fan favorite and FNC meteorologist Rick Reichmuth was on the set today and should have been the obvious choice to be one of Anna’s guest co-hosts: Together, he and Anna could have more successfully shepherded either Leland or Connell in his debut.

[Author’s aside: Re the provenance of the subtitle, Leland made his “threat” as Anna welcomed him and Connell to the third hour. Chiming in, Connell jested, “Right, you’re stuck with us, Anna!”]

*During a “Meet Leland” segment with baby photos, Leland bizarrely barbed, “I do look a little bit like…my father in those pictures. And, it’s a good thing that I now look like my mother: Otherwise, I would have a fabulous career…in radio.” (@ 6:34 a.m. ET.)

**In the “Meet Leland” segment, supra, (which included Leland’s war footage), Connell sarcastically commented, “Let me be the first to congratulate you on the promotion (to F&FW guest co-host) to now narrating dog video (earlier on F&FW) from…these frivolous foreign videos that we just looked at.” (6:34 a.m. ET.)

F&F Fun: Henry’s Holiday Debut

December 24, 2014

Ed throws “nutty” mom under the bus? Straight-laced FNC chief White House correspondent Ed Henry made his big debut on Fox & Friends guest co-host this Christmas Eve. Introducing him to the F&F fans, producers aptly ran a montage of his work, his family life, etc. each hour.*** The well-respected former White House Correspondents’ Association president (2012-2013) was an odd choice to couple with his similarly awkward, au courant male counterpart Peter Johnson, Jr., as bookends to the gregarious, gorgeous guest co-anchor Anna Kooiman on the curvy. However, he performed admirably even if he did throw his “nutty” mom under the proverbial bus.

During a holiday edition segment of “Normal or Nuts” with psychiatrist Dr. Keith Ablow, Ed began a query, saying, “When my mom visits my house to look after the kids–or just [to] come over for the holidays–she keeps track of what all my neighbors are doing and ends up knowing more about them than I do.” Acknowledging that he was treading on eggshells, Ed continued, “I gotta [sic] be careful here: I have to be diplomatic, doctor. But, is she normal or nuts?”

Dr. Ablow replied, “Well, I applaud your bravery: But, she’s nuts!”

Chuckling with chagrin, Ed exclaimed, “Oh, no!”

As a cuckoo bird sounded in the background, Dr. Ablow elaborated, “Here’s the thing: I want to be gentle with her [because] she could be watching….I think that she may be more interested in trying to define other people, their comings, their goings: It’s a little paranoid.” Mercilessly, he continued, “She needs some self-reflection: she needs to get to know herself, the emotional comings and goings in her life. And, invite me for Christmas or for New Year’s [Day] and I’ll do an intervention: And, we’ll broadcast it.” Digging Ed’s grave deeper, Dr. Ablow added, “She’s really something: What was it like to grow up with her, Ed?”

Trying to salvage his Christmas invitation, apparently, Ed responded, “She’s just reporting on my neighbors: she’s not, she’s not paranoid. But, I still love her. And, and, thanks, Dr. Keith, for the diagnosis.”

Ed, your mom will be having her turkey for Christmas dinner: And, it won’t be the bird!

[Author’s aside: Over the course of the show, Ed revealed that he played first base in Little League baseball; he went to the White House as a lad with his sister Colleen; he married his beautiful wife Shirley at the Wynn Hotel in Las Vegas (and celebrated with a White House wedding cake “to scale”); and that he has a son Patrick and a daughter Mila.]

Patricia: Stark Naked!

December 19, 2014

“Get used to looking at yourself in as little clothing as possible.” FNC new hire Patricia Stark made her debut on Fox & Friends First this morning–more than demure in her over-the-knee black skirt and high-cut orange blouse.* Looking a bit too canned, Patricia brought “her extensive experience hosting and anchoring over 25 different television shows” to Fox News this morning as she read a news story this morning on one of the F.B.I.’s Most Wanted fugitives in Cuba.

After her hit,  F&FF co-host Ainsley Earhardt enthusiastically welcomed her, exclaiming, “We’re so glad you’re here!” Pointing to her, Ainsley elaborated, “You’ll working the overnight: And, then you’ll join us on Fox & Friends First occasionally.”

In anticipation, Patricia answered, “Every chance I get! Thank you so much!”

“Well, welcome to the family!” Ainsley responded.

Indeed!

As to your slightly stilted first start on F&FF, Patricia, no worries. The next time, you might want to envision your audience in the buff. Or, in the alternative, you might want to take your own advice (to prepare yourself for swimsuit shopping or sunning): “[S]tart dancing around in your house in your bra and panties…Get used to looking at yourself in as little clothing as possible.”

If you’re successful, your new fan base may well follow suit.

*F&FF – 12/19/14 (@ 5:05 a.m. ET).

Aly & Chris: Dawn of a New Day?

December 7, 2014

James Earl Jones’ voice silenced. As rumors swirl over New Day host Kate Bolduan‘s possible ouster from her CNN morning anchor chair, ND host Chris Cuomo and ND guest anchor Alisyn Camerota introduced themselves and New Day in a whole new way Thursday and Friday. Gone was the daily dulcet baritone introduction of James Earl Jones teasing, “This is New Day with Chris Cuomo, Kate Bolduan, and Michaela Pereira!” Instead, it was either Chris or Aly introducing each other and ND to the viewer. No mention was made of Michaela: But, perhaps, more tellingly, no mention was made of Kate either–seemingly, for the first time since she left on maternity leave.

When Kate tearfully took her maternal sabbatical and deemed it “super, super, super bittersweet” (09/19/14), the author wondered whether she was also actually getting a divorce from her ND hubby, who reportedly had informed CNN honcho Jeff Zucker “that Kate Bolduan is not a good fit for him and he wants someone new.” Perchance, she was indeed taking that fateful step–whether she knew it or not.

Reportedly, Zucker is mulling Chris’s purported suggested amid a marked increase in ND ratings since Kate’s hiatus from New Day. As the new diva on the ND divan for the last two months, Aly is proving that she may well fit the bill.

Kiran’s Comeback: Infomercials?

December 1, 2014

Comely Chetry still brings the juice! Former Fox & Friends Weekend and American Morning co-host Kiran Chetry was hit by negative publicity today from prominent cable news media sites for hosting hoi polloi infomercials. Mediaite columnist Andrew Kirell snarks, “Hopefully this is just a stepping stone for Chetry, as it seems a far cry from the ‘special opportunity‘ she promised upon her CNN departure three years ago. Perhaps, slightly more benignly, MediaBistro author Mark Joyella notes, “[Chetry] turned up again over the holiday weekend–this time on CNBC. Chetry wasn’t anchoring at CNBC, but rather, appearing in an infomercial for a juicer, the “NutriBullet.”

No worries, Kiran: any publicity is good publicity. Even though the boys may give you a rough ribbing, they still care and they are still talking about you: After all, you are looking as good as ever.

To quote a certain perspicacious chanteuse (via vid), Kiran, “Just shake it off!”

H/t: CNN Commentary.

Ainsley: My Cheating Ex

November 26, 2014

Harris Faulkner: “That man was just a fool!” Strangely Fox & Friends First co-host Ainsley Earhardt was giving thanks a little early for a cheating lover Monday. In a segment on Outnumbered (about a “gene that hurts romance”), an aggrieved Ainsley remarked, “If I had known [about] this study, I would have tested the hair samples of some of the exes that cheated!”

As her Outnumbered co-hosts and #oneluckyguy former NYPD detective Bo Dietl chuckled, Ainsley exclaimed, “It would have told me they had the gene!”

Incredulously, Dietl queried, “They cheated on you?”

Flushed, a chagrined Ainsley admitted, “Well, I had one!”

Chiming in, co-anchor Harris Faulkner declared, “Well, that man was just a fool!”

Somewhat defensively, Ainsley asseverated, “And, listen, it was all good! It’s for the best. Now, I’m married to an amazing guy!”

Ainsley’s “amazing guy”? Former Clemson quarterback hubby Will Proctor. Ainsley’s cheating guy? Possibly, former hubby Kevin Wayne McKinney.

Ouch: Bad boys, don’t mess with a Southern Belle!

*The Five – 11/26/14 (@ 12:58 p.m. ET).

Post-Op Elisabeth Returns

November 16, 2014

Hasselbeck: “No additions: only removals!” Fox & Friends co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck returned to the curvy couch Friday with much fanfare. In his pre-show tease, guest co-host Eric Bolling altered the usual tagline, saying, “Mornings are better with ‘Friends’ and Elisabeth.” Subsequently, as the camera panned in on Elisabeth, Eric, and co-anchor Steve Doocy, Steve sweetly intoned, “Studio E as in Elisabeth Hasselbeck.”

Kissing Elisabeth on the cheek, Steve queried, “You are back!…Where have you been?”

Elisabeth jested, “You know, just hanging out! That’s all!”

Turning serious, she answered, “Look…I’m so glad and thankful, really thankful to be back with all of you.” Elaborating, she said, “I had a bit of scare….I had a tumor [size of a tennis ball]* in my abdomen….Doctor said, ‘Look, you got to get it out by the end of the month: We don’t like how it looks.’ Explicating further, she said, “I did what they said….I had a scary week where we didn’t know what the results were but I’m okay….I had the blessing of it not being cancer….I got a clear and clean bill of health.”

Chiming in, Eric remarked, “So many prayers for you!” As he and Steve held her hand, Elisabeth responded, “I’m sorry my palms are sweaty but I know you guys love me like a sister [so] you understand.” Put the icing on the segment [pun intended], Steve asked, “You know what would make you happy right now? Cake!”

As one of the crew brought in a cake festooned in red, white, and blue, Steve exclaimed, “It’s a news channel so we got a cake from somebody in the news, Cake Boss.” Cooing, Elisabeth, responded, “Oh, and my favorite colors….Thank you, Cake Boss.” Bringing some snark to militate slightly against any treacle, Eric jibed, “Wherever you are!”

Concluding the segment, Elisabeth tearfully declared, “I don’t like a fuss: you know that! But, this is, this is a special day: I’m really, really thankful. I’m really thankful!” Subsequently, she thanked FNC honcho Roger Ailes for his support and threatened to “whipping on” co-host Brian Kilmeade anew “in some obstacle courses” after she healed. Perchance, addressing any Internet rumors, she playfully pointed to her breasts, proclaimed, “No additions, only removals happened while I was gone!”

“Clear and clean”: glad you are well, Elisabeth! Welcome back!

*F&F – 11/14/14 (@ 7:01 a.m. ET).

Hasselbeck: I’m Still Here!

November 11, 2014

“Ever thankful to be a part of @foxandfriends.” Today, Fox & Friends co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck set the record straight: She’s still the queen of the curvy couch–no matter what fans of her recent fill-ins Anna Kooiman, Ainsley Earhart, or Kimberly Guilfoyle may want.

Seizing the opportunity that every holiday affords the Twitter user to say whatever is foremost in her mind, Elisabeth proclaimed, “Ever Thankful to be a part of @foxandfriends and @FoxNews Family – where every day is #VeteransDay #ThankYouVeterans #USA.” In other words, I support the veterans and what they have sacrificed for me and the nation, AND I am still in the center seat on the curvy couch, girlfriends–and viewers.

Even the Fox & Friends fan who can barely stomach Elisabeth’s priggish paean to The View by constantly dubbing her co-anchors, Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade, “brothers” (vis-a-vis a more randy approach a la E. D. Hill or Gretchen Carlson) should root for Elisabeth’s speedy recover from the surgery that she had about a month ago. However, they can be forgiven for wondering why Elisabeth has taken her time returning to the vaunted curvy couch. Approximately a month ago (October 15), Steve announced, “In case, you were wondering where Elisabeth is today…she had some surgery yesterday and she’s going to be out for a couple of weeks, and Brian reassuringly remarked, “In a short time, she’ll be back on the set.”

Happy Veterans Day indeed to those who have served this great country and her citizens! And, get well soon, Elisabeth!

Anna B. Kooiman: F&FW’s Dancing Queen

November 10, 2014

To paraphrase the Go-Go’s,  she’s “got the beat.” The “booty-shaking” queen of the Fox & Friends Weekend curvy couch, Anna Kooiman, showed she still has the moves Sunday. [Vid1 link.] In a segment on viral sensation “dancing anchor” newscaster Dan Thorn of WV WVNS, Anna could not help but join in the fun with her sexy grooving (as her less-than-shy guest brought smiles to always clowning F&FW co-host Clayton Morris and even stodgy co-anchor Tucker Carlson with his infectious gamboling): In fact, the shapely fitness instructor reminded her viewers of her self-professed penchant for “some booty shaking.” [Vid2, vid3, vid4].

And, F&FW fans don’t mind one bit: As Taylor Swift says, Anna, just “Shake It Off“!

ND’s Aly: “Two Weeks!”

October 25, 2014

Camerota’s “New Day” turns to night too soon? For the last three weeks, new CNN anchor Alisyn Camerota has ruled the roost on the New Day divan in the absence of Kate Bolduan who is away on maternity leave. She has shown her co-host Chris Cuomo what a real equal–or superior–looks like: In other words, the Italian stallion has more than met his match with his comely, perspicacious counterpart.

Monday, Kate returned to ND for her “Roots: Journey’s Home” story (which is a smart, delightful way that CNN has chosen to personalize some of its anchors to its viewers). In tow, Kate took her beautiful newborn Cecilia Eve to  the CNN couch: Of course, “uncle” Chris cooed and cooed over his co-host and neighbor’s firstborn beauty, as well he should. As the ND cast share the serpentine sofa, the contrast between the too oft callow Kate and the more seasoned Aly appeared all too palpable.

Perchance, Kate came back Monday to show that she is still a permanent co-host on ND. On Friday, Aly seemed to affirm that: When a Twitter follower asked, “Where did you go, miss your commentary” [sic], Aly answered, “Tune into @NewDay for the next two weeks!”

However, Aly may well have a longer stint on ND than she thinks. If CNN chief Jeff Zucker decides to suspend or even can embattled Carol Costello for her controversial Schadenfreude of late, he may keep the current winning team on ND–and give new mom Kate a later, more convenient slot on CNN Newsroom.

CNN’s arousing espresso? Aly in the a.m.!

Ainsley: Ste. or Sinner?

October 22, 2014

We’re glad that you were born….[T]hat dog is trained well.” Guest co-host Ainsley Earhardt brought her Southern charms to the curvy couch again this morning. Yesterday (vid), she wished co-anchor Steve Doocy a belated happy birthday, saying, “We’re so glad [that] you were born” to the great amusement and muted derision of her co-host, New York native Brian Kilmeade, and of even the Kansan birthday boy himself. Today, the religious lovely was laughing heartily with the same boys at a bathing beauty whose dog was trying its best to take off her bikini top (to the amusement of the photog/her apparent boyfriend): She naughtily chuckled, “That dog is trained well, right? A man definitely trained that dog! That’s really cute!”*

To a non-Southerner, a birthday endearment, e.g., “We’re glad that you were born” may sound mawkish or maudlin: But, to the Southerner, it is an expression of genuine acknowledgement of another’s worth in the world or, at least, a proper birthday blandishment for one’s kith or kin. To a non-Southerner, reading the Bible, praying, and going to church and living like the devil on occasion, a la Elvis (NYT bio), Johnny Cash (Rolling Stone bio), and Jimmy Swaggart (Salon bio) may seem strange: But, to the Southerner, it is often a normal albeit improper rite of passage to the Promised Land.

For the uninitiated non-Southerner, Ainsley is either a Southern saint or sinner: For the Southerner, she can be both. Yesterday, Ainsley was happily apprising her friend Steve of how much his presence in this earthly realm has contributed to the betterment of her sphere, and, today, she was bawdily reveling in a dainty damsel’s distress as her doggie is determined to undress her for the camera. Tomorrow, is a whole new day.

Ainsley may be no Tanya Tucker: But, she just may be F&F‘s “Delta Dawn.”

Fox & Friends – 10/22/14 (@ 6:32 a.m. ET).

 

Kelly Wright: Kelly Wrong?

October 21, 2014

Fox & Friends First Foul? Oops! F&FF guest co-host Lea Gabrielle and FNC correspondent Kelly Wright appeared to try to pull a fast one on their viewers this morning.

In a segment on Monica Lewinsky’s speech to Forbes’ “30 Under 30 Summit” in Philly (Monday), Lea segued to the FNC reporter, saying, “For the first time ever, former White House intern Monica Lewinsky speaks publicly about her affair with President Bill Clinton.* Kelly Wright here now. Kelly, she’s waited a long time to speak: what is Lewinsky saying today?” [Italics added for emphasis.]

In response, Kelly replied, “She has waited a long time indeed: Monica Lewinsky delivering a speech this morning, Lea, to a thousand young entrepreneurs and…achievers at the Forbes’ “30 Summit.”

The only problem for Lea is that Lewinsky said it in Philly yesterday: As for Kelly, she seemingly said it yesterday morning. Apparently, F&FF producers wanted Kelly’s “hit” to appear live when it was not (if he accurately reported the story).

Lea and Kelly, your F&FF audience may be sleepy but they are awake.

*F&FF – 10/21/14 (@ 5:22 a.m. ET).

 

Doocy: Elizabeth “Had Some Surgery”

October 15, 2014

“She’s going to be out for a couple of weeks.” Where has Elisabeth Hasselbeck been? Today, Fox & Friends co-host Steve Doocy revealed the reason for his co-anchor’s disappearance this morning. However, he was not fully forthcoming.

After welcoming The Five co-host Kimberly Guilfoyle to the center seat on the curvy couch, Steve disclosed the secret of Elisabeth’s absence to the F&F audience, saying, “In case, you were wondering where Elisabeth is today and this week, well, she had some surgery yesterday and she’s going to be out for a couple of weeks.”* Reassuringly, he added, “But, she’s doing just fine [and] she’s on the mend.”

Chiming in, F&F co-anchor Brian Kilmeade elaborated, “But, as you know if you watch the show, she is strong, she is tough, and a better athlete than me. We heard from her last night and she said she is feeling good: So, in a few, in a short time, she’ll be back on the set.”

Notably, neither Steve nor Brian revealed the nature of Elisabeth’s surgery. Perhaps, they both are waiting on Elisabeth herself to do so if, in fact, she decides to do so. Nevertheless, her fans doubtlessly wish the new queen of the F&F curvy couch a full recovery and a swift return.

*Fox & Friends – 10/15/14 (@ 6:01 a.m. E.T.).

Anna & Mark: “Couple”?

October 12, 2014

Kooiman: “What we talk about at our house…” Yesterday, Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Anna Kooiman appeared to confirm what many of her male fans have long suspected, i.e., that that Southern belle is not on the market no matter what her ring-less wedding finger might say. In an F&FW segment on “Things Couples Bicker About,” Anna revealing remarked, “What we talk about in our house is who…gets to take the dog out: You want the dog to like you better!”* [Italics added for emphasis.]

Almost nine months ago, Anna’s curious co-anchor aptly Tucker Carlson mused, “Who is this man?” In a F&FW story subtitled “Love & Technology” on a smart-phone app Couple (that allows one to keep tabs on his/her significant other), guest Kurt Knutsson a/k/a “The Cyber Guy” inaptly revealed, “Anna, you just told me something very interesting…[that]…you go out with a guy who wants you to use this app called Couple.”** Throwing up her hands and blushing at his breach of her privacy, Anna chuckled, “Oh, now you could just say that!” Amused and bemused, Kurt responded, “Oh, you’re not talking about this [on air].” As the segment ended, co-host Clayton Morris declared, “And, we’ll get to the bottom of Anna’s….”: Chiming in, Tucker concurred, “In our next segment, who is this man?”

Apparently, yesterday, Tucker had his answer as to Anna’s man. During a segment subtitled, “Wedded Bliss? The Top Issues Couples Argue About,” Anna revealing admitted, “What we talk about at our house…it’s, like, who…gets to take the dog out: You want the dog to like you better!” [Italics added for emphasis.] Subsequently, she read a viewer email about “leaving make-up all over the bathroom vanity”: raising her hand, Anna confessed, “Guilty!” Facetiously, Tucker snarked, “Time for counseling: Interjecting himself into the fun, Clayton commented, “That Mark’s wearing make-up: that’s what’s weird.” Howling in laughter, Anna jested, “He [inaudible] wearing make-up for the moment!”

Make-up for Mark, maybe: But, Anna appeared ready to go au natural for her fans yesterday. Dare to bare, Anna!

[Author’s aside: After an F&FW segment today (entitled “To Have and to Hold: Maine Couple Wins Wife-Carrying Championship”), Clayton, innocently or not, intoned, “See, Anna, this is what you have to look forward when you get married.” N.B. “When.” F&FW – 10/12/14 (@ 6:32 a.m. ET).]

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 10/11/14 ( @9:09 a.m. ET).

**F&FW – 01/25/14 (@ 8:24 a.m. ET).

Fox (Aly) & Friends Weekend Reunited

October 11, 2014

Dave Briggs: “Reunited & it feels so good.” Yesterday, whilom Fox & Friends Weekend team of co-hosts Alisyn Camerota, Dave Briggs, and Clayton Morris got back together: Unfortunately, for their F&FW fans, it was only for lunch. Excitedly, Aly Tweeted, “Guess who I had lunch with? #reunited IMG_0199.JPG.” Subsequently, she posted a pic of her, Dave, and Clayton, posing happily together.

Inexplicably, Aly deleted the pic of the reunited erstwhile F&FW three amigos later. Perchance, she (or CNN) did not want her fans to get too nostalgic for the good old days of Aly reining on the F&FW curvy couch with her boys at FNC. After all, she has moved on to CNN–and has been ruling the New Day divan with Chris Cuomo and Michaela Pereira of late. And, now that ND co-host Kate Bolduan is on maternity leave, Aly may be taking over more permanently.

Happily, for partisans of the penultimate F&FW iteration, current “NBC Sports guy” Dave Briggs provided two fab photos of him and his buds, CNN anchor Alisyn Camerota and still FNC F&FW co-host Clayton Morris [pic1, pic2]. In his Tweet (including a great selfie seemingly shot by Clayton), Dave proudly declared, “Peaches & Herb sang it best, “Reunited & it Feels so Good…”

So good to see you all reunited, too, Dave–if only for a repast.

[Author’s aside: Not too surprisingly, Clayton did not RT the photos of him, Aly, and Dave back together again: After all, he assuredly wants his F&FW fans not to look back too fondly on his former “Friends” and to transition their affections more completely to his new ones, Anna Kooiman and Tucker Carlson.]

Maria Molina: “I’m Engaged!”

October 6, 2014

“It was an exciting weekend!” Stormy FNC meteorologist Maria Molina sported some serene connubial bling this morn on Fox & Friends First. The lovely lady in red this morning gave her weather report as usual without mention of her new status to her male admirers: But, as she segued back to F&FF co-hosts Ainsley Earhardt and Heather Childers, Ainsley exclaimed, “Maria has a new ring on her finger this morning!”

Blushing and beaming, Maria replied, “Yeah, on the left hand!” Congratulating “Cosmo’s caliente Latina,” Ainsley answered, “Best wishes to you! We’re so happy for you!” Grinning from ear to ear, Maria remarked, “Thank you. It was an exciting weekend!”

The lucky lad? In her final weather hit on Fox & Friends, she announced, “I’m engaged!…He’s Reed Timmer.” Gushing, she remarked, “He’s just the kindest, warmest, most generous, just loving person I’ve ever met. He really is amazing! And, I’m just so honored and so blessed to be engaged to him.” Subsequently, she added, “And, we believe [that] we’ll be looking at a wedding date next year–November, December. So, we’ll keep you updated, of course!”

Best wishes, Maria! Congratulations, Reed!

[Author’s aside: In an earlier segment on F&F subtitled, “Sorry Boys! Maria Molina Gets Hitched,” she revealed that her Okie storm chaser/meteorologist lad asked her to marry him last Thursday (October 2). She said that he had intended to propose to her on bended knee in front of a tornado–but there was no tornado. Furthermore, she revealed that they had met in Mayflower, Arkansas (covering a tornado), and that “it’s been like love at first sight” and they have been inseparable ever since. For pics of the happy couple, link here.]


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